Depressing Thoughts - Tumblr Posts - Page 2

After He Left It took me 5 years to finally put half of myself back together. It took me 5 years to smile again and start painting, a passion I had left behind when the grief drove me away from the light. It wasn’t his leaving that left me so broken. It was that when he left, he threw me to the ground and broke something that was already broken. He chipped away pieces of me while he was still in control of my life and he made sure to leave me with scars when he walked away. But I wasn’t broken because of him. I was broken because I was me and I stood up despite the brokenness and smiled. I think that’s quite an achievement. I think I’m starting to love myself.

I feel like I'm sinking again. I laugh at boyfriend's jokes and stop midway feeling all hollow and empty. I'm the happiest I have ever been and yet I'm sinking again. Is this what happens to people who stay with toxic people for too long? I feel like I'm shackled to the walls and there's no way out except falling to the depths of this darkness.

I told you I wanted to die. I fucking told you everything From the start to the end From the day to the hour But you're not listening are You? I told you I wanted to die And you did nothing.

Excerpts from a book I won't live to see.

I'm getting bad again.

It’s like you’re a child. Waking up crying at 4 am. Looking around for help. Except now you can’t find it so you look to the blade°

6 AM

I couldn't sleep all night. I wanted to talk to you I wanted so bad to tell you everything But you wouldn't care anyway.

You'd say I'm sorry Believe me I love you But not in that way 》》

Sam Smith

need you

I wanted to make you happy but how? i did not know so I cut my heart my soul for you, my love to show I wanted you to love me so selfish as it seems i captured you and bound you up if only in my dreams I needed you to want me and though you never would I made believe in fairy tales that perhaps someday you could I needed you to ask me to beg and plead and cry I needed you to hate me I needed you to try if only for a moment that passion where to burn then for a moment I could live before to death i turn I needed you to say it say anything to me I needed you to prove I'm here to prove I mean something

Kinda wish I had a future to look forward to aside from the game I’m playing, but alas.

The dissonance inside me

Frequently happens that we hate and love one person in the same time. This dissonance ruins us, but gives specious memorable pleasure

Morning questions

One beautiful or not morning you'll wake up and ask yourself: Am I wrong? Should I do everything in different way? The saddest and the best in the same time thing is that answer to this questions will know only you and nobody else.

Fucking done

I WANT TO DIE

Two pounds a day will make your doctor worry but that's okay.

Anonymous

The haunting disorder

It was getting better. I was getting better, I’ve been eating healthy and working out. I was done with binging and restricting. But I can’t. I just can’t. I’ve been dealing with this disorder for 6 years now. You can’t leave it. You can’t get away from it. No matter how hard you try. It won’t leave. It’ll always be haunting you.