Im Sad - Tumblr Posts
I don't know what to say other than I don't want to be here anymore. I try to distract myself, but always, every day, not existing is the best option.
I will stop using this social network for a while, because even though I can find people who are going through the same thing, it does not help me with my depression and problems. It makes me constantly remember how bad I feel and focus on those thoughts. I'll try not to use social media for a while, and I'm not saying I'll get better by doing so, but I need to grow as a person.
🖤🖤🖤
“And it's all I think about when I'm behind the wheel
I worry this is how I'm always gonna feel”
i want to die temporarily
i’m a sad girl i’m a sad girl im a sad girl
When your sad so you decided to make fake scenarios to cheer yourself up with comfort characters. Then you remember their not real which hurts even more.
Have you ever regretted continuously being nice to someone who continues to break your heart, betray your trust and make you cry over and over again? I gave you my everything. Everything I have and everything I am. So, why? Why, even after everything, you still... left? Did I really mean so little to you? No... Did I even mean anything to you at all?
If so, then go ahead. Leave. I'll still be here, though. Waiting for you who will probably never even look back. But I thank you. Thank you for the memories, the laughter, the times we spent together.
I won't forget you.
killer by phoebe bridgers is such a harringrove song:
Can the killer in me
Tame the fire in you?
Oh, is there nothing left to do for us?
I am sick of the chase
But I'm hungry for blood
And there's nothing I can do
But when I'm sick and tired
And when my mind is barely there
When a machine keeps me alive
And I'm losing all my hair
I hope you kiss my rotten head
And pull the plug
Know that I've burned every playlist
And I've given all my love
yes i’m crying please leave me be
Steve Harrington had the tendency to fall in love too quickly. The first girl he ever loved was named Patricia Hartley. She was in his 5th grade English class and had golden brown hair that was always tied back in a light blue ribbon. Steve had never kissed a girl before her. He figured he loved her because when he kissed her he got butterflies. Falling for her was like being caught in a wave. A gentle push, a moving current. He loved her for 3 months. When school let out for summer, Patricia gave Steve a tootsie roll and told him that she just wanted to be friends and she didn’t care for kissing. There was no heartbreak. Like a wave, Patricia was present, something to sweep you off your feet, but fleeting. She moved to Nebraska after middle school.
There were girls after Patricia. He liked their fancy hair and got butterflies when he kissed them, but no girl could have ever prepared him for Nancy Wheeler. The first time Steve laid eyes on her, he was infatuated. Tommy and Carol teased him for liking her, to them she was too square, too nerdy. That seemed to be exactly what Steve liked about her. She was unassuming. He didn’t have to be a douche to impress her. His love for Nancy felt like fireworks. Something that was loud and hit him all at once. He knew he was hopelessly in love with her but he didn’t care. She loved him back and everything was perfect. Just for a moment. Just until Jonathan Byers.
Steve had never loved a girl as much as he loved Nancy Wheeler, and no girl had ever made him cry as much as she had. When Steve was in love with Nancy, he could see his entire life waiting for him. He saw himself as a husband and father to a completely nuclear family and that was fine with him. He held comfort within the expectation of the ordinary. When Nancy broke his heart, Steve had to rethink everything. Instead of having a firm plan for his life, he crumbled. Nancy was his compass, and now he was completely lost. The people Steve loved had always been expected. He went into every relationship knowing what he wanted and knowing where he was going. Billy managed to throw him completely off track.
Billy Hargrove was an enigma. He was loud, aggressive, and a pain in the ass. Billy was the complete opposite of both Patricia and Nancy. But somehow, between the nights of endless conversation at the quarry and the shared smoke breaks at school, Steve fell in love with him.
Billy was a flame. All consuming in his blankets of heat and intensity. A destructive force who knew no bounds. When Steve first met Billy, he was perplexed. This presence was unlike anything he had ever experienced. It was confusing and frightening. Though Billy could be destructive, Steve began to learn that he could also be kind. His heat became a soft warmth, it flooded Steve’s brain and flowed to his fingertips. The first time Billy kissed him was in the front seat of his camero. The kiss was sudden; full of desperate hands and welcoming lips. Billy had always been the flame, but for the first time Steve felt like there might be fire inside of him too.
Although Nancy broke Steve’s heart, Billy managed to shatter it completely. Cold tiles, flashing lights, and black blood. Steve had seen what happened from afar, but he did not realize the severity until he ran closer. Billy wasn’t breathing. He was choking. He was in so much pain. The blood was everywhere. Steve tried to help but the hole in his chest was too severe. After everything Billy’s body had gone through, there was no saving him. He had already given up. The boy lying on the floor was once someone Steve had loved. He always fell in love too fast. Never considering the possibilities. This boy would hold him, envelop him in his warmth, touch him with needy hands. The monster had done too much to him. The boy he loved was now a figure lying amongst pools of soiled blood. Steve reached out to touch the hand he once held, caress the face he once kissed, but he was so cold. Billy’s skin didn’t even feel human. The fire had finally gone out. How could someone constantly filled with heat be so cold? His battered flesh now unrecognizable. Steve’s choked sobs were interrupted by arms dragging him away.
“We can’t leave him here!”
“There’s nothing we can do.”
“We can’t leave him with that monster!”
yah i think i’ll sit and listen to “When She Lays Down” by The 1975 and think about Billy and his mom...
Whenever you feel sad
Think about Lucius growing out his hair. At somepoint he must have had a short lenght bob looking like Snape. If still sad imagine Dumbledore with short bob.
Okay so I wrote something while my last mental breakdown and I wanted to show you. So here it is and take care!
———————————————————————
I know you dont want to loose youre little sister.
All these night appart,
the number grew more and more.
Like my desire to evermore,
Se your smile and stop the frown.
Even though sometimes I feel like a clown.
Until I go to slumber,
Where I fulfil my desire.
Where I stopped feeling
The strange emotions that I can’t deceiver
Where I stopped hurting
By the reality that bring me to oblivion
Where I feel liberated
From the rotten world we created
When I wake up the numbness comes back.
Like a mountain on my back.
But don’t worry,
For I am inspired by your audacity.
Your strong head is something that I admire.
For I can’t start my fire.
My anxiety causes a war in me.
Where my army has be
And is no more.
For my demons heretofore,
We’re just pixie dust from tinker bell.
However now, they are an alarm bell.
Forgive me sister,
For I know I’m a bother
With my self destructive ways
And my long silences.
Dear sister you need to know
I’m just not myself.
But I don’t know who myself is anymore.
How do you expect me to build my future without the foundation of my past?
Memento Mori, Unus Annus
I've contracted the big sad now that the end for unus annus so close :[
Might spam more art of them idk yet
This breaks my heart into two...🥺
Q. where do you hold your love ? A. 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬. you hold your love on your shoulders / a weight to bear, but one you're not crumbling under. love for you is heavy, big ──── it makes up everything. the world is comprised entirely of love, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚒𝚝. this can make you feel smaller than you'd like to, like you have an obligation to be a part of it, or maybe an obligation to create a love so massive it marks itself as different ─ greater, a task to take upon yourself. but doesn't all love feel different ? and isn't all love great ?
Not really Endgame spoilers, but if you dont want to hear anything scroll on
Me, watching Endgame trying to be lighthearted and not think about what might happen as the movie continues: R.I.P Scott's Taco, you were the worst death of all
🚨Crimson Rivers chapter 66 and 67 spoilers🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨
I worried for Fleamont, I worried for Marlene, but never once did I think to worry about Barty. BARTY!!?!?!?!? I never thought he wouldn't survive, I didn't even think about whether or not he would live I just unconsciously decided he would. I'm not ok.
But atleast Pandoras alive