Irondad - Tumblr Posts - Page 2
tony: i think i’m coming down with something, i’ve been feeling nauseous lately
peter: maybe you’re pregnant
tony:
peter:
tony: i don’t know who’s the bigger idiot right now, you because you suggested it, or me, because i just had a heart attack
happy: if a stranger came up to you and said "i'm your dad's friend, he told me to pick you up" what would you say?
peter: i'd say "you're lying, my dad doesn't have any friends!"
tony:
tony, teaching peter how to drive: okay, now, you're driving and flash and ned walk onto the road. what do you hit, pete?
peter: flash, obviously, why would i want to hit ned?
tony:
tony: the breaks, kid. you hit the breaks
peter: you know what they say: if you can't beat them, curl up in a ball and protect your organs
tony: nobody says that
morgan: i hope i can be a hero like you in sixty years
tony:
tony: do you think i’m sixty
tony: i apologize for saying 'fuck' in front of morgan
pepper: you just did it again
morgan:
tony:
tony: i am not a role model
tony: and remember, if i get harsh with you, it’s only because you’re doing it all wrong
peter:
morgan: dad, can i ask you a question?
tony: sure
morgan: when did you first realize that you’re old and your life is over?
tony:
peter: if i saw a portal, i would enter it, no questions asked
tony:
peter: can i bother you for a second?
tony: you're always bothering me, but go ahead
peter: i’m going to get some soup
tony: be careful not to burn yourself, it’s hot
peter: i’m not going to burn myself, i’m not a child
*five seconds later*
peter: i burned myself
morgan: dad, will you read me a bedtime story?
tony: no
morgan: pretty please?
tony: the physical expression of the word "please" doesn’t change my answer
morgan: *finds a stray cat*
morgan: can we keep it?
pepper: your dad is allergic
morgan:
morgan: dad can stay outside
peter: i made a marshmallow mr stark. see? his arms are crossed because he's mad at marshmallow peter for annoying him. you like it?
tony, choked-up: it’s fine
peter: here’s my award for the most rules broken
ned: that’s not an award, it’s an angry letter from mr. stark
peter, hanging it on his wall: well, it has the word “most” in it so i’m calling it an award!
tony: how long do you think it will take you to do this?
peter: i don’t know, probably three or four
tony: …three or four what? days? weeks? months?
peter: yeah, maybe five
tony: FIVE WHAT?
peter on his first avengers mission: what’s the signal when something goes wrong?
tony: we yell “oh shit”
peter:
peter: yeah, that will work