Jaehyun Fluff - Tumblr Posts - Page 3
The chosen one
Pairing: Jaehyun!Candidate - Princess!Reader
Warnings: None (just beware, Jaehyun is a philanderer here)
Summary: Having lots of smart, handsome men at your feet and giving you all the attention you can think of might be the best possible scenario for some. But for me, it's been a nightmare. Everyone has their desires, but that doesn't mean it's my heart. At least, that's what I believed, until I found him...
I believe that having thousands of perfect men vying for your hand, or at the very least, a second of your attention, can be all that many girls want. All the guys are daring, beautiful, with a thousand qualities and an incredible willingness to listen. But that's not what I want right now.
All meals are little wars fought between them, which most of the time seems to tire me more than those involved. Mom keeps encouraging me to watch them with more affection, but I can't. Selection is not something I like.
I was leaving the ladies' room, and heading towards my office, when two suitors corner me. They both start talking about the day, and how they would like to share me as we walk through the garden. I swallow my acid comments about not being a piece of meat to share, and smile diplomatically apologetically, and ask them not to follow me. Even with their protests, they let me go my way.
When I hear their conspiratorial whispers trying to change my mind, I walk into the library beside me, and lock myself in it. The room was huge, and its huge shelves covered with copies of my favorites. Clever young men, though, I think I've only seen one or two come in here, so I know I'll be quiet.
I start to walk among my faithful companions when I see a standing silhouette. He looked focused, trying to decipher something. I approach slowly and as I try to see what's in my hands, I try to remember his name.
-A...Alqu...what is this? -he snorts in frustration.
-"The Alchemist". -I reveal the name of the book, making myself present. I see the boy get red ears, and be embarrassed. I smile at your attitude, and the length. -It's an excellent book.
-Ah, Your Majesty, I...-He bows in respect and I do the same then, approaching me a few steps. - forgive me, I don't...
-Calm down! - I end up letting out a slight laugh, from his nervousness - the library is for everyone, although I don't believe that all suitors know about it... - I see the boy in front of me nodding. -So you like to read?
-Yes, Your Majesty... I remembered a book, and I decided to come look for it.
-Well, as it's a private collection, it might not have some titles...- I observe the spines in front of me. -Why don't you tell me the name, and we'll look for it together?
Seeing the boy's smile, I feel something strange. A certain euphoria, for maybe it's the first sensible conversation I've had since it all started. I hear what he's looking for, and he started walking, with him beside me.
-Sorry to ask, but there are still a lot of new faces... what's your name? -I ask.
-It's Jaehyun, Your Majesty. Yoo Jaehyun. - the brunette seemed to gain confidence with every word.
-Please, just you. We are alone. -I smile at him who agrees. - caste two?
-Yes...how do you know?
-Lovely face. - I shrug. I took a time to ponder what I should ask you now. I have a list of questions to ask the suitors so I can eliminate them as soon as possible. But something about him made me want to know more about him as a person.
-I wonder how exhausting it must be for you. -He says, I'm surprised. The eye, looking for a reference to your speech - the selection... is an event for many of us, but I can't imagine it for you.
-Oh yes...let's say I'm not found the idea of having a reality show, to force me to choose a husband. - I make a face which makes him laugh lightly.
- I always thought the program was unfair to you, and to the candidates, -this Jaehyun from caste two, starts talking, and when I think it's going to continue, he gives up. I instruct him to go into a hallway with books in Korean, and then into the romance session.
-You should find what you're looking for here...-I turn my back looking at some old names.
-I've already found what you wanted. -He assures me, and when I turn around, I catch him watching me intensely.
-I knew i have found ever since I've layed my eyes here. - His sentence made me blush, and then he hands me the book he had in his hands. I nod, and turn to pick up a random book. I try to control my breathing and heart which accelerated rapidly. -Are all these books yours?
-I share the space with my parents, but a large part of the collection is mine. - I shrug, proud of myself
- What does your book talk about?
-Love. Love and all its forms. - His voice was calm, and his face was that of someone who faithfully believed in that feeling.
-So you are a romantic...do you believe in fate, or soul mates?
-Yes, on both. -When I realize, we stopped walking and we're just staring at each other while we talk. -I believe that no matter what happens, you and your soul mate are bonded, and will meet and be together. How should be.
-Akai Ito...- I whisper with his sudden approach. I give up trying to read who he is, and trying to understand why I can't act with him like I was with everyone else. - What do you want, Jaehyun?
-Sorry, I don't think I understand.
-In five minutes of conversation with the suitors, I can already trace their desires...money, power, a fairy-tale life...but I don't know what you want. -I start pouring everything in front of him, while he stares at me with a small and disconcerting smile at the corner of his mouth - I don't remember seeing you vying for my attention at dinners, or anytime... what do you want here Jaehyun?
-I always waited for the right moment. That was my mom's advice... watch, not invade your space... and although I think the selection is unfair, I wouldn't mind having the opportunity to spend time with you, and get to know who you really are. - I watch him take a step towards me and take my hand. He smiles and looks deep into my eyes - even if it breaks my heart to little pieces, I wouldn't mind picking up the pieces.
And in the next second, I did something I haven't done with anyone in my entire life. I leaned over her body, and pressed our lips together. I didn't know much about Jaehyun, but I knew I could take a chance with him, and maybe give myself up, for the first time.
[Masterlist] • [NCT 127 masterlist]
🍵🌿🖇..⃗. buy me a coffee?
The chosen one
Pairing: Jaehyun!Candidate - Princess!Reader
Warnings: None (just beware, Jaehyun is a philanderer here)
Summary: Having lots of smart, handsome men at your feet and giving you all the attention you can think of might be the best possible scenario for some. But for me, it's been a nightmare. Everyone has their desires, but that doesn't mean it's my heart. At least, that's what I believed, until I found him...
I believe that having thousands of perfect men vying for your hand, or at the very least, a second of your attention, can be all that many girls want. All the guys are daring, beautiful, with a thousand qualities and an incredible willingness to listen. But that's not what I want right now.
All meals are little wars fought between them, which most of the time seems to tire me more than those involved. Mom keeps encouraging me to watch them with more affection, but I can't. Selection is not something I like.
I was leaving the ladies' room, and heading towards my office, when two suitors corner me. They both start talking about the day, and how they would like to share me as we walk through the garden. I swallow my acid comments about not being a piece of meat to share, and smile diplomatically apologetically, and ask them not to follow me. Even with their protests, they let me go my way.
When I hear their conspiratorial whispers trying to change my mind, I walk into the library beside me, and lock myself in it. The room was huge, and its huge shelves covered with copies of my favorites. Clever young men, though, I think I've only seen one or two come in here, so I know I'll be quiet.
I start to walk among my faithful companions when I see a standing silhouette. He looked focused, trying to decipher something. I approach slowly and as I try to see what's in my hands, I try to remember his name.
-A...Alqu...what is this? -he snorts in frustration.
-"The Alchemist". -I reveal the name of the book, making myself present. I see the boy get red ears, and be embarrassed. I smile at your attitude, and the length. -It's an excellent book.
-Ah, Your Majesty, I...-He bows in respect and I do the same then, approaching me a few steps. - forgive me, I don't...
-Calm down! - I end up letting out a slight laugh, from his nervousness - the library is for everyone, although I don't believe that all suitors know about it... - I see the boy in front of me nodding. -So you like to read?
-Yes, Your Majesty... I remembered a book, and I decided to come look for it.
-Well, as it's a private collection, it might not have some titles...- I observe the spines in front of me. -Why don't you tell me the name, and we'll look for it together?
Seeing the boy's smile, I feel something strange. A certain euphoria, for maybe it's the first sensible conversation I've had since it all started. I hear what he's looking for, and he started walking, with him beside me.
-Sorry to ask, but there are still a lot of new faces... what's your name? -I ask.
-It's Jaehyun, Your Majesty. Yoo Jaehyun. - the brunette seemed to gain confidence with every word.
-Please, just you. We are alone. -I smile at him who agrees. - caste two?
-Yes...how do you know?
-Lovely face. - I shrug. I took a time to ponder what I should ask you now. I have a list of questions to ask the suitors so I can eliminate them as soon as possible. But something about him made me want to know more about him as a person.
-I wonder how exhausting it must be for you. -He says, I'm surprised. The eye, looking for a reference to your speech - the selection... is an event for many of us, but I can't imagine it for you.
-Oh yes...let's say I'm not found the idea of having a reality show, to force me to choose a husband. - I make a face which makes him laugh lightly.
- I always thought the program was unfair to you, and to the candidates, -this Jaehyun from caste two, starts talking, and when I think it's going to continue, he gives up. I instruct him to go into a hallway with books in Korean, and then into the romance session.
-You should find what you're looking for here...-I turn my back looking at some old names.
-I've already found what you wanted. -He assures me, and when I turn around, I catch him watching me intensely.
-I knew i have found ever since I've layed my eyes here. - His sentence made me blush, and then he hands me the book he had in his hands. I nod, and turn to pick up a random book. I try to control my breathing and heart which accelerated rapidly. -Are all these books yours?
-I share the space with my parents, but a large part of the collection is mine. - I shrug, proud of myself
- What does your book talk about?
-Love. Love and all its forms. - His voice was calm, and his face was that of someone who faithfully believed in that feeling.
-So you are a romantic...do you believe in fate, or soul mates?
-Yes, on both. -When I realize, we stopped walking and we're just staring at each other while we talk. -I believe that no matter what happens, you and your soul mate are bonded, and will meet and be together. How should be.
-Akai Ito...- I whisper with his sudden approach. I give up trying to read who he is, and trying to understand why I can't act with him like I was with everyone else. - What do you want, Jaehyun?
-Sorry, I don't think I understand.
-In five minutes of conversation with the suitors, I can already trace their desires...money, power, a fairy-tale life...but I don't know what you want. -I start pouring everything in front of him, while he stares at me with a small and disconcerting smile at the corner of his mouth - I don't remember seeing you vying for my attention at dinners, or anytime... what do you want here Jaehyun?
-I always waited for the right moment. That was my mom's advice... watch, not invade your space... and although I think the selection is unfair, I wouldn't mind having the opportunity to spend time with you, and get to know who you really are. - I watch him take a step towards me and take my hand. He smiles and looks deep into my eyes - even if it breaks my heart to little pieces, I wouldn't mind picking up the pieces.
And in the next second, I did something I haven't done with anyone in my entire life. I leaned over her body, and pressed our lips together. I didn't know much about Jaehyun, but I knew I could take a chance with him, and maybe give myself up, for the first time.
[Masterlist] • [NCT 127 masterlist]
🍵🌿🖇..⃗. buy me a coffee?
O escolhido
Pairing: Jaehyun!Candidato - Princesa!Leitora
Avisos: Nenhum (só cuidado, o Jaehyun é um galanteador aqui)
Resumo: Ter vários homens bonitos e inteligentes aos seus pés e te dando toda a atenção que pode pensar, pode ser para algumas, o melhor cenário possível. Mas para mim, está sendo um pesadelo. Todos possuem seus desejos, mas isso não quer dizer que seja o meu coração. Pelo menos, era isso que eu acreditava, até encontrar ele...
Acredito que ter milhares de homens perfeitos disputando para ter sua mão, ou no mínimo, um segundo de sua atenção pode ser tudo que muitas garotas desejam. Todos os rapazes bem arrojados, belos, com mil qualidades e um disponibilidade incrível para escutar. Porém não é o que quero agora.
Todas as refeições são pequenas guerras travadas entre eles, o que na maioria das vezes parece mais me cansar, do que aos envolvidos. Mamãe vive me incentivando a observa-los com mais carinho, porém eu não consigo. A seleção não é algo que me agrada.
Estava saindo do sala das mulheres, e indo em direção ao meu escritório, quando dois pretendentes me encurralam. Ambos começam a falar sobre o dia, e como gostariam de dividir-me enquanto andamos pelo jardim. Engulo meu comentários acido sobre não ser um pedaço de carne a ser compartilhado, e sorrio diplomaticamente me desculpando, e pedindo para que não me sigam. Mesmo com seus protestos, me deixaram seguir meu caminho.
Quando escuto seus sussurros conspiratórios para tentarem me fazer mudar de ideia, entro na biblioteca ao meu lado, e me tranco na mesma. O cômodo era enorme, e suas enormes prateleiras cobertas com exemplares dos meus favoritos. Mesmo sendo rapazes inteligentes, creio ter visto apenas um ou dois entrarem aqui, portanto sei que terei sossego.
Começo a caminhar por entre meus fieis companheiros quando vejo uma silhueta parada. Ele parecia concentrado, tentando decifrar algo. Me aproximo lentamente e ao mesmo tempo que tento ver o que tem em mãos, tento me recordar de seu nome.
-A...alq...o que é isso? -ele bufa frustrado.
-"O Alquimista". -revelo o nome do livro, me fazendo presente. Vejo o rapaz ficar com as orelhas vermelhas, e ficar sem jeito. Sorrio com sua atitude, e o comprimento. -É um excelente livro.
-Ah, majestade, eu...-o mesmo se curva em respeito e faço o mesmo em seguida, me aproximando alguns passos. - me perdoe, eu não...
-Se acalme! - acabo soltando uma leve risada, de seu nervosismo - a biblioteca é para todos, embora não acredite que todos os pretendentes saibam disso... - vejo o rapaz a minha frente concordar com a cabeça. -Então gosta de ler?
-Sim, majestade...lembrei de um livro, e resolvi vir procura-lo.
-Bom, por ser uma coleção particular, pode não ter alguns títulos...- observo as lombadas à minha frente. -Por que não me diz o nome, e o procuramos juntos?
Ao ver o sorriso do rapaz, sinto algo estranho. Uma certa euforia, por talvez ser a primeira conversa sensata que tenho depois que tudo começou. Escuto o que ele procura, e começou a andar, com ele ao meu lado.
-Desculpe perguntar, mas ainda são muitos rostos novos... qual seu nome? -Pergunto.
-É Jaehyun, majestade. Yoo Jaehyun. - o moreno parecia ganhar confiança a cada palavra.
-Por favor, apenas você. Estamos sozinhos. -Sorrio para ele que concorda. - casta dois?
-Sim...como sabe?
-Rosto adorável. -dou de ombros. Pondero algumas vezes sobre o que deveria lhe perguntar agora. Tenho uma lista de perguntas a fazer para os pretendentes, e assim já poder elimina-los o quanto antes. Porém alguma coisa nele me fazia querer saber mais dele, como pessoa.
-Imagino como deve ser exaustivo para você. -ele diz, me surpreendo. O olho, em busca de uma referência a sua fala - a seleção...é um evento para muitos de nós, mas não consigo imaginar para você.
-Ah, sim...digamos que não gosto da ideia de ter um reality show, para me forçar a escolher um marido. - faço uma careta o que o faz rir levemente.
- Sempre achei o programa injusto com vocês, e com os candidatos, -o tal Jaehyun da casta dois, começa a falar, e quando acho que vai continuar, ele desiste.
O instruo a entrar em um corredor com livros em coreano, e depois na sessão romance.
-Deve achar o que procura por aqui...-me viro de costas olhando alguns antigos nomes.
-Já achei o que queria. -ele me garante, e quando me viro, o pego me observando intensamente. -Achei assim que coloquei meus olhos aqui. -sua frase me fez ruborizar, e em seguida ele me estica o livro que tinha em mãos. Concordo com a cabeça, e me viro para pegar um livro qualquer. Tento controlar minha respiração e coração que aceleraram rapidamente. -Todos esses livros são seus?
-Eu divido o espaço com meus pais, mas grande parte da coleção é minha. -dou de ombros orgulhosa de mim mesma - Sobre o que o seu livro fala?
-Amor. Amor e todas as suas formas. -sua voz era calma, e sua feição era de quem acreditava fielmente nesse tal sentimento.
-Então o senhor é um romântico...acredita em destino, ou almas gêmeas?
-Sim, nos dois. -Quando percebo, paramos de andar e estamos apenas nos encarando enquanto conversamos. -acredito que não importa o que aconteça, você e sua alma gêmea estão ligados, e vão se encontrar e ficar juntos. Como deve ser.
-Akai Ito...-sussurro com sua proximação repentina. Desisto de tentar ler quem ele é, e de tentar entender por que não consigo agir com ele, como fui com todos os outros. - o que pretende, Jaehyun?
-Desculpa, acho que não entendi.
-Em cinco minutos de conversa com os pretendentes, já consigo traçar seus desejos...dinheiro, poder, uma vida de contos de fadas...mas não sei o que você quer. -Começo a despejar tudo em sua frente, enquanto ele me encara com um pequeno e desconcertante sorriso ao canto da boca - não me lembro de te ver disputando minha atenção nos jantares, ou em qualquer momento... o que quer aqui Jaehyun?
-Sempre esperei o momento certo. Esse foi o conselho da minha mãe... observar, e não invadir o seu espaço...e apesar de achar que a seleção é injusta, não me importaria de ter a oportunidade de passar um tempo com você, e de conhecer quem realmente é, - o observo dar um passo em minha direção e pegar minha mão. Ele sorri e olha bem fundo em meus olhos - mesmo que parta meu coração em pedacinhos, não me importaria de catar o cacos.
E no segundo seguinte, eu fiz algo que não fiz com ninguém a minha vida inteira. Me inclinei sobre seu corpo, e colo nossos lábios. Eu não sabia muito sore Jaehyun, mas soube que poderia me arriscar com ele, e talvez me entregar, pela primeira vez.
[Masterlist] • [Nct 127 Masterlist]
🍵🌿🖇..⃗. buy me a coffee?
O escolhido
Pairing: Jaehyun!Candidato - Princesa!Leitora
Avisos: Nenhum (só cuidado, o Jaehyun é um galanteador aqui)
Resumo: Ter vários homens bonitos e inteligentes aos seus pés e te dando toda a atenção que pode pensar, pode ser para algumas, o melhor cenário possível. Mas para mim, está sendo um pesadelo. Todos possuem seus desejos, mas isso não quer dizer que seja o meu coração. Pelo menos, era isso que eu acreditava, até encontrar ele...
Acredito que ter milhares de homens perfeitos disputando para ter sua mão, ou no mínimo, um segundo de sua atenção pode ser tudo que muitas garotas desejam. Todos os rapazes bem arrojados, belos, com mil qualidades e um disponibilidade incrível para escutar. Porém não é o que quero agora.
Todas as refeições são pequenas guerras travadas entre eles, o que na maioria das vezes parece mais me cansar, do que aos envolvidos. Mamãe vive me incentivando a observa-los com mais carinho, porém eu não consigo. A seleção não é algo que me agrada.
Estava saindo do sala das mulheres, e indo em direção ao meu escritório, quando dois pretendentes me encurralam. Ambos começam a falar sobre o dia, e como gostariam de dividir-me enquanto andamos pelo jardim. Engulo meu comentários acido sobre não ser um pedaço de carne a ser compartilhado, e sorrio diplomaticamente me desculpando, e pedindo para que não me sigam. Mesmo com seus protestos, me deixaram seguir meu caminho.
Quando escuto seus sussurros conspiratórios para tentarem me fazer mudar de ideia, entro na biblioteca ao meu lado, e me tranco na mesma. O cômodo era enorme, e suas enormes prateleiras cobertas com exemplares dos meus favoritos. Mesmo sendo rapazes inteligentes, creio ter visto apenas um ou dois entrarem aqui, portanto sei que terei sossego.
Começo a caminhar por entre meus fieis companheiros quando vejo uma silhueta parada. Ele parecia concentrado, tentando decifrar algo. Me aproximo lentamente e ao mesmo tempo que tento ver o que tem em mãos, tento me recordar de seu nome.
-A...alq...o que é isso? -ele bufa frustrado.
-"O Alquimista". -revelo o nome do livro, me fazendo presente. Vejo o rapaz ficar com as orelhas vermelhas, e ficar sem jeito. Sorrio com sua atitude, e o comprimento. -É um excelente livro.
-Ah, majestade, eu...-o mesmo se curva em respeito e faço o mesmo em seguida, me aproximando alguns passos. - me perdoe, eu não...
-Se acalme! - acabo soltando uma leve risada, de seu nervosismo - a biblioteca é para todos, embora não acredite que todos os pretendentes saibam disso... - vejo o rapaz a minha frente concordar com a cabeça. -Então gosta de ler?
-Sim, majestade...lembrei de um livro, e resolvi vir procura-lo.
-Bom, por ser uma coleção particular, pode não ter alguns títulos...- observo as lombadas à minha frente. -Por que não me diz o nome, e o procuramos juntos?
Ao ver o sorriso do rapaz, sinto algo estranho. Uma certa euforia, por talvez ser a primeira conversa sensata que tenho depois que tudo começou. Escuto o que ele procura, e começou a andar, com ele ao meu lado.
-Desculpe perguntar, mas ainda são muitos rostos novos... qual seu nome? -Pergunto.
-É Jaehyun, majestade. Yoo Jaehyun. - o moreno parecia ganhar confiança a cada palavra.
-Por favor, apenas você. Estamos sozinhos. -Sorrio para ele que concorda. - casta dois?
-Sim...como sabe?
-Rosto adorável. -dou de ombros. Pondero algumas vezes sobre o que deveria lhe perguntar agora. Tenho uma lista de perguntas a fazer para os pretendentes, e assim já poder elimina-los o quanto antes. Porém alguma coisa nele me fazia querer saber mais dele, como pessoa.
-Imagino como deve ser exaustivo para você. -ele diz, me surpreendo. O olho, em busca de uma referência a sua fala - a seleção...é um evento para muitos de nós, mas não consigo imaginar para você.
-Ah, sim...digamos que não gosto da ideia de ter um reality show, para me forçar a escolher um marido. - faço uma careta o que o faz rir levemente.
- Sempre achei o programa injusto com vocês, e com os candidatos, -o tal Jaehyun da casta dois, começa a falar, e quando acho que vai continuar, ele desiste.
O instruo a entrar em um corredor com livros em coreano, e depois na sessão romance.
-Deve achar o que procura por aqui...-me viro de costas olhando alguns antigos nomes.
-Já achei o que queria. -ele me garante, e quando me viro, o pego me observando intensamente. -Achei assim que coloquei meus olhos aqui. -sua frase me fez ruborizar, e em seguida ele me estica o livro que tinha em mãos. Concordo com a cabeça, e me viro para pegar um livro qualquer. Tento controlar minha respiração e coração que aceleraram rapidamente. -Todos esses livros são seus?
-Eu divido o espaço com meus pais, mas grande parte da coleção é minha. -dou de ombros orgulhosa de mim mesma - Sobre o que o seu livro fala?
-Amor. Amor e todas as suas formas. -sua voz era calma, e sua feição era de quem acreditava fielmente nesse tal sentimento.
-Então o senhor é um romântico...acredita em destino, ou almas gêmeas?
-Sim, nos dois. -Quando percebo, paramos de andar e estamos apenas nos encarando enquanto conversamos. -acredito que não importa o que aconteça, você e sua alma gêmea estão ligados, e vão se encontrar e ficar juntos. Como deve ser.
-Akai Ito...-sussurro com sua proximação repentina. Desisto de tentar ler quem ele é, e de tentar entender por que não consigo agir com ele, como fui com todos os outros. - o que pretende, Jaehyun?
-Desculpa, acho que não entendi.
-Em cinco minutos de conversa com os pretendentes, já consigo traçar seus desejos...dinheiro, poder, uma vida de contos de fadas...mas não sei o que você quer. -Começo a despejar tudo em sua frente, enquanto ele me encara com um pequeno e desconcertante sorriso ao canto da boca - não me lembro de te ver disputando minha atenção nos jantares, ou em qualquer momento... o que quer aqui Jaehyun?
-Sempre esperei o momento certo. Esse foi o conselho da minha mãe... observar, e não invadir o seu espaço...e apesar de achar que a seleção é injusta, não me importaria de ter a oportunidade de passar um tempo com você, e de conhecer quem realmente é, - o observo dar um passo em minha direção e pegar minha mão. Ele sorri e olha bem fundo em meus olhos - mesmo que parta meu coração em pedacinhos, não me importaria de catar o cacos.
E no segundo seguinte, eu fiz algo que não fiz com ninguém a minha vida inteira. Me inclinei sobre seu corpo, e colo nossos lábios. Eu não sabia muito sore Jaehyun, mas soube que poderia me arriscar com ele, e talvez me entregar, pela primeira vez.
[Masterlist] • [Nct 127 Masterlist]
🍵🌿🖇..⃗. buy me a coffee?
The chosen one
Pairing: Jaehyun!Candidate - Princess!Reader
Warnings: None (just beware, Jaehyun is a philanderer here)
Summary: Having lots of smart, handsome men at your feet and giving you all the attention you can think of might be the best possible scenario for some. But for me, it's been a nightmare. Everyone has their desires, but that doesn't mean it's my heart. At least, that's what I believed, until I found him...
I believe that having thousands of perfect men vying for your hand, or at the very least, a second of your attention, can be all that many girls want. All the guys are daring, beautiful, with a thousand qualities and an incredible willingness to listen. But that's not what I want right now.
All meals are little wars fought between them, which most of the time seems to tire me more than those involved. Mom keeps encouraging me to watch them with more affection, but I can't. Selection is not something I like.
I was leaving the ladies' room, and heading towards my office, when two suitors corner me. They both start talking about the day, and how they would like to share me as we walk through the garden. I swallow my acid comments about not being a piece of meat to share, and smile diplomatically apologetically, and ask them not to follow me. Even with their protests, they let me go my way.
When I hear their conspiratorial whispers trying to change my mind, I walk into the library beside me, and lock myself in it. The room was huge, and its huge shelves covered with copies of my favorites. Clever young men, though, I think I've only seen one or two come in here, so I know I'll be quiet.
I start to walk among my faithful companions when I see a standing silhouette. He looked focused, trying to decipher something. I approach slowly and as I try to see what's in my hands, I try to remember his name.
-A...Alqu...what is this? -he snorts in frustration.
-"The Alchemist". -I reveal the name of the book, making myself present. I see the boy get red ears, and be embarrassed. I smile at your attitude, and the length. -It's an excellent book.
-Ah, Your Majesty, I...-He bows in respect and I do the same then, approaching me a few steps. - forgive me, I don't...
-Calm down! - I end up letting out a slight laugh, from his nervousness - the library is for everyone, although I don't believe that all suitors know about it... - I see the boy in front of me nodding. -So you like to read?
-Yes, Your Majesty... I remembered a book, and I decided to come look for it.
-Well, as it's a private collection, it might not have some titles...- I observe the spines in front of me. -Why don't you tell me the name, and we'll look for it together?
Seeing the boy's smile, I feel something strange. A certain euphoria, for maybe it's the first sensible conversation I've had since it all started. I hear what he's looking for, and he started walking, with him beside me.
-Sorry to ask, but there are still a lot of new faces... what's your name? -I ask.
-It's Jaehyun, Your Majesty. Yoo Jaehyun. - the brunette seemed to gain confidence with every word.
-Please, just you. We are alone. -I smile at him who agrees. - caste two?
-Yes...how do you know?
-Lovely face. - I shrug. I took a time to ponder what I should ask you now. I have a list of questions to ask the suitors so I can eliminate them as soon as possible. But something about him made me want to know more about him as a person.
-I wonder how exhausting it must be for you. -He says, I'm surprised. The eye, looking for a reference to your speech - the selection... is an event for many of us, but I can't imagine it for you.
-Oh yes...let's say I'm not found the idea of having a reality show, to force me to choose a husband. - I make a face which makes him laugh lightly.
- I always thought the program was unfair to you, and to the candidates, -this Jaehyun from caste two, starts talking, and when I think it's going to continue, he gives up. I instruct him to go into a hallway with books in Korean, and then into the romance session.
-You should find what you're looking for here...-I turn my back looking at some old names.
-I've already found what you wanted. -He assures me, and when I turn around, I catch him watching me intensely.
-I knew i have found ever since I've layed my eyes here. - His sentence made me blush, and then he hands me the book he had in his hands. I nod, and turn to pick up a random book. I try to control my breathing and heart which accelerated rapidly. -Are all these books yours?
-I share the space with my parents, but a large part of the collection is mine. - I shrug, proud of myself
- What does your book talk about?
-Love. Love and all its forms. - His voice was calm, and his face was that of someone who faithfully believed in that feeling.
-So you are a romantic...do you believe in fate, or soul mates?
-Yes, on both. -When I realize, we stopped walking and we're just staring at each other while we talk. -I believe that no matter what happens, you and your soul mate are bonded, and will meet and be together. How should be.
-Akai Ito...- I whisper with his sudden approach. I give up trying to read who he is, and trying to understand why I can't act with him like I was with everyone else. - What do you want, Jaehyun?
-Sorry, I don't think I understand.
-In five minutes of conversation with the suitors, I can already trace their desires...money, power, a fairy-tale life...but I don't know what you want. -I start pouring everything in front of him, while he stares at me with a small and disconcerting smile at the corner of his mouth - I don't remember seeing you vying for my attention at dinners, or anytime... what do you want here Jaehyun?
-I always waited for the right moment. That was my mom's advice... watch, not invade your space... and although I think the selection is unfair, I wouldn't mind having the opportunity to spend time with you, and get to know who you really are. - I watch him take a step towards me and take my hand. He smiles and looks deep into my eyes - even if it breaks my heart to little pieces, I wouldn't mind picking up the pieces.
And in the next second, I did something I haven't done with anyone in my entire life. I leaned over her body, and pressed our lips together. I didn't know much about Jaehyun, but I knew I could take a chance with him, and maybe give myself up, for the first time.
[Masterlist] • [NCT 127 masterlist]
🍵🌿🖇..⃗. buy me a coffee?
Ai vim reportar esse aqui aquela hora e fiquei lendo igual uma boba (nem parece q foi eu quem escreveu), e toda vez que paro nele, me dá uma vontade de escrever uma fica dessa história, mas tenho medo de estragar a história 🥹
O escolhido
Pairing: Jaehyun!Candidato - Princesa!Leitora
Avisos: Nenhum (só cuidado, o Jaehyun é um galanteador aqui)
Resumo: Ter vários homens bonitos e inteligentes aos seus pés e te dando toda a atenção que pode pensar, pode ser para algumas, o melhor cenário possível. Mas para mim, está sendo um pesadelo. Todos possuem seus desejos, mas isso não quer dizer que seja o meu coração. Pelo menos, era isso que eu acreditava, até encontrar ele...
Acredito que ter milhares de homens perfeitos disputando para ter sua mão, ou no mínimo, um segundo de sua atenção pode ser tudo que muitas garotas desejam. Todos os rapazes bem arrojados, belos, com mil qualidades e um disponibilidade incrível para escutar. Porém não é o que quero agora.
Todas as refeições são pequenas guerras travadas entre eles, o que na maioria das vezes parece mais me cansar, do que aos envolvidos. Mamãe vive me incentivando a observa-los com mais carinho, porém eu não consigo. A seleção não é algo que me agrada.
Estava saindo do sala das mulheres, e indo em direção ao meu escritório, quando dois pretendentes me encurralam. Ambos começam a falar sobre o dia, e como gostariam de dividir-me enquanto andamos pelo jardim. Engulo meu comentários acido sobre não ser um pedaço de carne a ser compartilhado, e sorrio diplomaticamente me desculpando, e pedindo para que não me sigam. Mesmo com seus protestos, me deixaram seguir meu caminho.
Quando escuto seus sussurros conspiratórios para tentarem me fazer mudar de ideia, entro na biblioteca ao meu lado, e me tranco na mesma. O cômodo era enorme, e suas enormes prateleiras cobertas com exemplares dos meus favoritos. Mesmo sendo rapazes inteligentes, creio ter visto apenas um ou dois entrarem aqui, portanto sei que terei sossego.
Começo a caminhar por entre meus fieis companheiros quando vejo uma silhueta parada. Ele parecia concentrado, tentando decifrar algo. Me aproximo lentamente e ao mesmo tempo que tento ver o que tem em mãos, tento me recordar de seu nome.
-A...alq...o que é isso? -ele bufa frustrado.
-"O Alquimista". -revelo o nome do livro, me fazendo presente. Vejo o rapaz ficar com as orelhas vermelhas, e ficar sem jeito. Sorrio com sua atitude, e o comprimento. -É um excelente livro.
-Ah, majestade, eu...-o mesmo se curva em respeito e faço o mesmo em seguida, me aproximando alguns passos. - me perdoe, eu não...
-Se acalme! - acabo soltando uma leve risada, de seu nervosismo - a biblioteca é para todos, embora não acredite que todos os pretendentes saibam disso... - vejo o rapaz a minha frente concordar com a cabeça. -Então gosta de ler?
-Sim, majestade...lembrei de um livro, e resolvi vir procura-lo.
-Bom, por ser uma coleção particular, pode não ter alguns títulos...- observo as lombadas à minha frente. -Por que não me diz o nome, e o procuramos juntos?
Ao ver o sorriso do rapaz, sinto algo estranho. Uma certa euforia, por talvez ser a primeira conversa sensata que tenho depois que tudo começou. Escuto o que ele procura, e começou a andar, com ele ao meu lado.
-Desculpe perguntar, mas ainda são muitos rostos novos... qual seu nome? -Pergunto.
-É Jaehyun, majestade. Yoo Jaehyun. - o moreno parecia ganhar confiança a cada palavra.
-Por favor, apenas você. Estamos sozinhos. -Sorrio para ele que concorda. - casta dois?
-Sim...como sabe?
-Rosto adorável. -dou de ombros. Pondero algumas vezes sobre o que deveria lhe perguntar agora. Tenho uma lista de perguntas a fazer para os pretendentes, e assim já poder elimina-los o quanto antes. Porém alguma coisa nele me fazia querer saber mais dele, como pessoa.
-Imagino como deve ser exaustivo para você. -ele diz, me surpreendo. O olho, em busca de uma referência a sua fala - a seleção...é um evento para muitos de nós, mas não consigo imaginar para você.
-Ah, sim...digamos que não gosto da ideia de ter um reality show, para me forçar a escolher um marido. - faço uma careta o que o faz rir levemente.
- Sempre achei o programa injusto com vocês, e com os candidatos, -o tal Jaehyun da casta dois, começa a falar, e quando acho que vai continuar, ele desiste.
O instruo a entrar em um corredor com livros em coreano, e depois na sessão romance.
-Deve achar o que procura por aqui...-me viro de costas olhando alguns antigos nomes.
-Já achei o que queria. -ele me garante, e quando me viro, o pego me observando intensamente. -Achei assim que coloquei meus olhos aqui. -sua frase me fez ruborizar, e em seguida ele me estica o livro que tinha em mãos. Concordo com a cabeça, e me viro para pegar um livro qualquer. Tento controlar minha respiração e coração que aceleraram rapidamente. -Todos esses livros são seus?
-Eu divido o espaço com meus pais, mas grande parte da coleção é minha. -dou de ombros orgulhosa de mim mesma - Sobre o que o seu livro fala?
-Amor. Amor e todas as suas formas. -sua voz era calma, e sua feição era de quem acreditava fielmente nesse tal sentimento.
-Então o senhor é um romântico...acredita em destino, ou almas gêmeas?
-Sim, nos dois. -Quando percebo, paramos de andar e estamos apenas nos encarando enquanto conversamos. -acredito que não importa o que aconteça, você e sua alma gêmea estão ligados, e vão se encontrar e ficar juntos. Como deve ser.
-Akai Ito...-sussurro com sua proximação repentina. Desisto de tentar ler quem ele é, e de tentar entender por que não consigo agir com ele, como fui com todos os outros. - o que pretende, Jaehyun?
-Desculpa, acho que não entendi.
-Em cinco minutos de conversa com os pretendentes, já consigo traçar seus desejos...dinheiro, poder, uma vida de contos de fadas...mas não sei o que você quer. -Começo a despejar tudo em sua frente, enquanto ele me encara com um pequeno e desconcertante sorriso ao canto da boca - não me lembro de te ver disputando minha atenção nos jantares, ou em qualquer momento... o que quer aqui Jaehyun?
-Sempre esperei o momento certo. Esse foi o conselho da minha mãe... observar, e não invadir o seu espaço...e apesar de achar que a seleção é injusta, não me importaria de ter a oportunidade de passar um tempo com você, e de conhecer quem realmente é, - o observo dar um passo em minha direção e pegar minha mão. Ele sorri e olha bem fundo em meus olhos - mesmo que parta meu coração em pedacinhos, não me importaria de catar o cacos.
E no segundo seguinte, eu fiz algo que não fiz com ninguém a minha vida inteira. Me inclinei sobre seu corpo, e colo nossos lábios. Eu não sabia muito sore Jaehyun, mas soube que poderia me arriscar com ele, e talvez me entregar, pela primeira vez.
[Masterlist] • [Nct 127 Masterlist]
🍵🌿🖇..⃗. buy me a coffee?
Aaaaaaaaaa 😭💕
boyfriend material.
jung jaehyun x gn!reader genre: fluff, fake dating cliche, strangers to lovers, slight angst wc: 6.2k warnings: sensual tension/implications, sfw kiss scene
Although you and Jaehyun had never spoken a word to each other before this class project, he asks you to be in a fake relationship in order to prove to his longtime crush that he is boyfriend material.
“What if we fake dated?” Nearly choking on your spit, you peer up at the dimpled boy in mostly shock, but also curiosity at why the hell he would be desperate enough to ask such a bizarre request from you, his project partner.
The maximum amount of time you have known this man is probably less than 48 hours and despite being in the same class for the past semester, yesterday is the first time you two have actually exchanged words.
“You have to be out of your mind.” The question was a follow up to the story of his unrequited love, which you had been way too interested in from the start because anything is better than working on school work.
Being paired with Jaehyun for one of the biggest group projects of the year had not been your first pick, but you didn’t have much of a choice since your professor used a random generator to assign partners.
Jaehyun barely knew of your existence two days ago, though, you really can’t blame him for your lack of attendance and participation. All you knew of him was that he was the guy with dimples and his name started with a J. But, that’s college. You don’t get to know much of anyone in your lectures or discussion classes.
This is one of the only classes small enough for a partner project, being that it is a seminar class counted toward your major in order to graduate. You really could have gone through all of college without a single group project on your loop, but the universe tested you.
“Think about it, we could be killing two birds with one stone.” Jaehyun gleams, trying to close your heavy textbook to garner your attention. “I can prove to Rose that I am boyfriend material and you can prove to your friends that you’re not chronically single.”
“I really shouldn’t have confessed that I was chronically single. It gives you leverage to use it against me.” Sighing deeply, you narrow your eyes at this man that wears an innocent smile on his face.
The chance to shut your friends’ chatter about your love life is incredibly tempting and Jaehyun is the perfect visual to introduce: charming smile, glossy eyes, deep dimples, tall, nice build. You just know all your friends would be smitten over a man like him.
“Say I agree to this ridiculous idea, how would we break up?” Your interest is captivated now, as you set your pen in the middle crease of the textbook and cross your arms over the table.
“It could be a mutual split. If you want to spice it up, you can dump me or I can break up with you and I’ll cry about it to Rose. She’ll comfort me, realize I’m so boyfriend material and grow feelings for me.” Jaehyun claps his hands together as if he made the most brilliant idea ever.
Scoffing, you roll your eyes at how silly it sounded. Though, a part of you really wanted to show someone off so that your friends would stop trying to set you up with their weird coworkers or their desperate mutuals.
As if you never thought you’d agreed to something as absurd as fake dating someone, you lean back in your seat and ask the one question that causes the moon crescents to appear on this handsome man’s fluffy cheeks:
“So, what’s the game plan?”
THE GAME PLAN: BOYFRIEND MATERIAL
Meet Cute: Jaehyun asked to borrow a charger and never gave it back. Professor does a random name generator for a partner project. You and Jaehyun are paired. The charger made its way back to its original owner in a fateful way.
Who liked who first: you fell for that sexy baritone voice.
How he asked you out: A dozen roses and a candlelit dinner.
How long have you been dating: three weeks.
Favorite thing about one another:
Y/N: cute stationary
Jaehyun: dimples
“Cute stationary?” You squint at his answer with disgust at how lame it is. “That is the best answer you could think of? People are really going to think we’re head over heels for each other.” The sarcasm in your tone is distinct, not going unnoticed by Jaehyun.
“Says the one that said dimples. How original.” Jaehyun fakely yawns, rolling his eyes at the hypocrisy.
“I’m not going for uniqueness. I’m just making these answers easy enough for me to remember if asked.”
“And we’re making me the forgetful one in the meet cute?” Jaehyun pretends to be offended. His hand rests on his chest, followed by a scoff.
You’re growing to understand Jaehyun’s banter, finding that his question does hold some amount of irony. “Whatever, I have class in 15 minutes. Let’s quickly establish the rules and go on with our day.”
RULES: BOYFRIEND MATERIAL
No kissing on the lips.
Don’t tell anyone about the fake relationship.
Sunday Recaps.
Go to one social event with friends for each person.
“That should be good for now.” You electronically sign your name on the document, sharing access rights to Jaehyun’s email. “We’ll add to it if needed.”
“Do you think it’ll work?” As you rush to pack your things into your backpack, you’re quizzically staring at how concerned Jaehyun looks asking his question. “Like, is it going to convince Rose how good of a boyfriend I’d be?”
“Well, you have to convince me first if you’d even be a good boyfriend before you start thinking about impressing your crush.” Zipping up, you wait for Jaehyun to make a move. Anything, this was essentially a cue. Nonetheless, he remains kicking his feet underneath the table and drifting off into space.
“Seriously?” You ask, arms crossed and weight barred on your left leg. Jaehyun’s eyebrows knit together in confusion, unable to read the bewilderness of your expression.
“What?”
This is going to be harder than you expected. What the hell did you just get yourself into?
“This is your cue to say you’re going to walk me to my class.” Your palm lands on your cheek, rubbing away the forming frustration you have for this man. He is far, far, far from boyfriend material. “Forget it.”
“No, wait-” Jaehyun clears the table of his things, shoving them carelessly into his backpack and hurrying to catch up to you. “I guess I forgot to mention that I don’t know the first thing about impressing someone.”
You can’t help the laugh that slips from your lips, “oh, you clueless handsome man. It is such a good thing you’re attractive or else, it would be much harder for you.”
“That is a very backhanded compliment.” Jaehyun’s laugh is so robust that it rumbles your chest. It is your first time genuinely hearing it, as he has been stoic the whole day you two worked on your project.
“We’ll get there,” you pat his shoulder and head toward the lecture doors, “I’ll send you a calendar invite for your first social event next week.”
Jaehyun stands still, eyes scanning the floor and then back up at your fading figure. “Why are you so willing to help me?”
You stop, hand holding the handle to the door. Looking back at him, the smile on your face shocks him. “Because now I feel responsible for making you a good boyfriend.” With a wave goodbye, you disappear into the building.
Jaehyun puts his hands into his pocket and the white clouds float above him in the blue sky. A small smile creeps on his lips as a simple thought causes it to arise. “Favorite thing about y/n is that smile.”
“I feel like this is so abrupt. When did you two even start talking?” Your friend starts with the questioning. You had warned Jaehyun previously about the million questions you two were going to get tonight and told him to be prepared. Remember the game plan.
“A little over a month ago. Jaehyun and I talked in class for the most part.” Stirring the straw in your drink, you’re wondering if your friends can see past your facade.
“Y/N really likes to play hard to get.” Jaehyun takes control of the narrative, you’re perked up to hear what he has up his sleeve. “I asked for their number three separate times. The first being when I asked to borrow the charger, twice before the midterm, and the third when we were assigned as partners.”
“No wonder why you didn’t get your charger back for the longest time.” Another friend jokes and Jaehyun agrees so naturally. Your eyes scan his whole demeanor and he looks completely relaxed. A part of you had expected that he would flounder and be a nervous wreck in front of your friends. Nonetheless, he is doing great at his first social event.
It is your good friend’s birthday celebration at a more upscale bar downtown. The formal attire was mandatory and you had spent the last hour picking up a last minute outfit for Jaehyun at his apartment.
The two of you had already begun planting the social media seeds over the week. Random roses on a Tuesday afternoon. Dinner with a man’s hand holding the glass near the right side of the picture. Your scrunchie around his wrist as he takes his daily gym selfie.
Your friends bombarded you with eye emojis, acting like detectives to figure out if you were seeing someone. Before you knew it, they were all telling you to invite him to the birthday celebration, which you already knew he’d get the invite for. Your friends were dying to meet him.
The moment you two had stepped in, eyes were instantly on you and watching your every step with Jaehyun in your arms. The attention made you sweat, mostly because you didn’t know how tonight would play out and because you’ve never been seen with a partner.
However, as the night went on, Jaehyun was a real crowd pleaser. Truthfully, you had no idea how Jaehyun is as a person. You two barely know each other’s last names, but the impression you had of him was of a more shy and reserved man. Maybe it was the lack of talking you two shared in the first hour of your group project, but he was so enjoyable to be around.
“Hey, you doing alright?” Jaehyun wraps his arm around your waist, causing you to slightly cease action. He notices, leaning down to whisper into your ear. “Is it okay for me to touch you?”
His hot breath and deep raspy whisper against the shell of your ear actually made your knees weak. Your mind takes you to unimaginable places, scenes that you shouldn’t be thinking about with Jaehyun. The grip on your glass tightens and you’re nodding subtly. “Social battery is depleting. I think we should leave soon.”
“Yeah, it’s getting pretty chaotic over there. We should flee the scene before we get trapped in it.” He points to the small crowd forming near the barstools.
One of the mutuals of another friend is hunched over, gripping his stomach and practically dry heaving in the middle of the area. His face goes completely pale and you just knew he was going to projectile vomit in nearly ten seconds.
“Yeah, let’s go.” Your hand finds his out of instinct, maneuvering the both of you through incoming flocks of friends trying to get another word in. You’re saying your goodbyes while rushing out as fast as you can.
“It was lovely meeting you, Jaehyun!” Some call out and he is waving, bidding his goodbyes as if he is a celebrity to his fans.
One push and you’re out the door, into the chilly night that brushes a breeze on your arms. Finally, there is no one else around and no more small talk, you can breathe. “Wow, that was incredible.”
“I’m used to getting out of situations as fast as I can.” There goes that smile that Jaehyun likes, heart racing and all just by looking at you. “Especially with my friends. They’ll talk your ear off if you let them.”
You’re fully aware that your fingers are still intertwined after escaping. Jaehyun’s hand is a bit rough due to the calluses on his palms from heavy weight lifting, but it feels nice. To be held, to be felt, to share warmth – your heart is running a marathon all on its own.
“Sorry.” Mumbling, your hands separate in seconds. Jaehyun sheepishly puts them in his pockets and averts his gaze awkwardly. For a moment, you forgot where your boundaries lie.
“Can I drive you home?” Jaehyun kindly asks. He beckons over at his car parked on the curb and hopes for you to follow.
“But I live the opposite way.” The reluctance causes your body to freeze up, standing in place. At the end of it all, Jaehyun and you were barely friends. Possibly, your mind is still very much aware of that.
Jaehyun almost starts with a whole thing about it being dangerous at night, but he realizes you really didn’t need to hear all of that. It would’ve been an earful anyway and he just needed you to get into the car without feeling bad.
“I know, but I don’t mind.” He says, opening the door to the passenger side for you. Taken aback, you’re wondering if something happened to Jaehyun overnight for this sudden charm he is exuding.
Perhaps the stars in the night sky are playing tricks on you, but you’re beginning to see Jaehyun in a new light.
“So, you’re completely over Rosie?” There seems to be a pattern amongst yours and Jaehyun’s group of friends. Both sides seem skeptical about the two of you dating, often questioning details about how legit this relationship is.
It’s going to be the 4th week mark – one month of keeping up these charades, but making your very fake relationship just shy of two months. No rules have been broken and you’re building your friendship very well with all the time you two spend together.
You’re at the first social event for Jaehyun. Unlike him, you aren’t one to control a crowd and his friends aren’t like yours where they’d talk endlessly. The anticipation of finally meeting Jaehyun’s crush also dawned on you, her name being mentioned very frequently.
“It would be really weird if I wasn’t.” Laughing dryly, he brings you closer by the waist and into his side. To any outsider perspective, it would look as though Jaehyun is trying to non-verbally reassure you like a good boyfriend would. It doesn’t draw much attention, it’s a light-hearted response to an awkward question. He is learning very well.
To you, it feels very staged and you’re trying your best to hide the warmth you’re feeling from how intimate you two look together. “I don’t mean to offend you. Rosie was Jaehyun’s previous fling and it felt very unfinished.”
The way that Jaehyun had described their relationship didn’t seem like a fling, though you know how people use that word quite loosely nowadays. “It’s hard when you’re each other’s firsts.”
Suddenly, a chill runs down your spine and your heart drops to your stomach. This feeling washing over you is foreign, but familiar all at once. The grip on your waist retreats and Jaehyun looks like a deer caught in headlights. A crucial detail seems to be left out and the way your body reacts to it is a surprise to you.
His friends seem to understand the situation, without any exchange of words. They clear their throats and Jaehyun looks about ready to kill someone. “It was a while ago though!”
“Yeah, they barely ever see each other anymore.” His other friend tries to put a bandage on the situation, chuckling nervously at the shift in atmosphere.
Jaehyun's social event is turning out quite terribly.
“Jae?” A voice calls for everyone’s attention. It’s a sweet and delicate cadence, you would believe it if it came from a princess or fairy of sorts. When you all turn to face the owner of that gentle voice, you’re met with someone even more beautiful.
Something deep inside told you that she had to be Rosie and Jaehyun affirmed it with the look in his eyes. “It’s been awhile.” He gravitates toward her, tunnel vision where she stands at the end of it. Jaehyun speaks to her as if there is no one else in the room, including you.
And although you two aren’t actually dating, the needles in your chest are causing you great distress. Watching him walk toward another person with hearts in his eyes doesn’t exactly make you feel joyous. It is even worse knowing that you’re supposed to be his pretend partner and you’re too stunned to make a move.
Having to remind yourself that she is the sole reason this arrangement exists in the first place, you collect your emotions and breathe deeply. You follow behind Jaehyun, strutting up and wrapping your arm around his. However, Rose doesn’t notice and her wide eyes look at you in excitement.
“We haven’t met, I’m Rose.” She is quick to pull you into a hug. It startles you, patting her shoulder lightly at how harmonious she is. You didn’t have much of an image of how she was like, but it wasn’t this.
Starting with your introductions, her facial expressions are incredibly expressive: a mixture of enthusiasm and surprise. “Jaehyun mentioned that he was bringing a special someone.” Dang it, even her attitude is super cheery. “You are absolutely stunning, I hope Jaehyun is treating you well.”
Here is your cue. “Jaehyun has been the best. I feel like I can’t live my life without him now.” Look over. Loving eye contact. Smile. “I feel like I got really lucky with him.”
Jaehyun knows you’re playing your part, but the churning in his stomach has to be butterflies making their rounds. He hasn’t felt much affection in a while and so he can’t tell if these feelings stem from lack of affirmations or because it's coming from you.
“Aw, you’re the cutest.” Rose gives you the lightest touch on your wrist, an electrifying buzz that you want more of. A fleeting feeling. “I’ll leave you two lovebirds to chat because I am totally being a third wheel right now.”
Rose makes her exit before you two could protest. Turning toward Jaehyun, you’re mumbling underneath your breath, “I can see why you’re absolutely in love with her.”
“More of a mild infatuation, I would say.” He leans up against the wall, pulling you into him so he can hear you better. Your hips touch as he lazily wraps his arm around your back.
“Way out of your league, I would say.” You cross your arms, scoffing. “We have our work cut out for us. It’s probably going to be harder than we thought to convince her you’re the perfect boyfriend.”
Somehow Jaehyun looks even hotter rolling his eyes, paired with a small smirk on his lips and a dimple on his right cheek. “I just love chasing people out of my league.”
There is a brief moment of silence between the both of you, staring into each other’s eyes with an unknowing gaze of understanding. In this suffocating intimacy, you could kiss him, open mouth and completely devour him. He could do the same, tasting your hot lips coated in your expensive lip gloss.
So why don’t you?
Why doesn’t he?
No kissing on the lips.
Nonetheless, you break the intense gaze and ignore all the pent up lust you’re feeling in your chest. Bringing your hand to lightly brush away Jaehyun’s loose strands, he catches your wrist mid way.
You watch as he does the unpredictable: soft lips puckered up against the inside of your wrist. Your heart is pounding in your ears, unable to pull away from how much you’re craving him.
All these impure sensual feelings for Jaehyun came to the surface. It’s easy to admit that he is very attractive and if only he knew how to use his charm, he could have anyone in the palm of his hands. The only thing keeping you from falling for him is the sheer fact that he wouldn’t like you back.
No rules against developing feelings for one another, but that doesn’t mean that you should. It was a mental note you kept for yourself to save you a chance at heartache.
“There aren’t any rules against kissing you anywhere else.” Jaehyun whispers against your skin and slowly drops your hand back to your side.
You can’t let it show how much that affected you, how it practically almost caused you to backtrack on this fake dating situation and to jump into his arms. “I didn’t think there was another part of me you’d kiss.”
“Trust me, there is.” His words could have a million different implications, but somehow you knew just what he was referring to. It shakes your core, bubbles your insides. You’re left without any response and no other thoughts in your head besides ripping his clean linen shirt off of his body.
“Hey lovebirds, come and join us for a toast.” Saved by the bell. Jaehyun takes you by your hand, intertwining your fingers.
You send him a quick glare, “we will be talking about this during Sunday Recap.”
“Oh, I plan to.” Jaehyun chuckles, full of soul and banter. As he leads you to join the rest of the crowd, you’re bewildered at the heightened emotions that stick to your chest.
“I think it’s working. Rose asked me if I was free to hang out with her sometime next week.” Jaehyun ever so nonchalantly plants himself on your plush couch. “She never asks me to hang out first.”
“Mhm, that’s great.” You’re partially listening, as you’re fixing up a story to post on your social media of the flower bouquet that Jaehyun bought on his way to your place. “Have fun.”
“Are you actually listening?” He scoffs. Watching your figure walk toward him, you lean down to show him your phone. The image of flowers displayed on your marble countertop with the note very visibly showing who they’re from. Jaehyun nods in approval, hitting the post button before you could triple check yourself.
“Yeah, I’m listening. You and Rose are hanging out next week, I’m glad this charade is working out for you.” There is a small edge in your tone that doesn’t go unnoticed by Jaehyun. He eyes you from the side, trying to decipher the attitude that laces your words.
Something about your demeanor feels off and he’s gotten to know you enough to know that something is bothering you for your lips to turn into a frown. “What are we recapping this Sunday?” He finds that it’s probably best to move on to another topic.
“Why didn’t you tell me that you guys were each other’s firsts?” Sitting next to him, you face him with frustrated furrowed brows and an annoyed expression.
“I didn’t think it was important to mention.” You hated how carefree Jaehyun could be. It makes you feel like you’re overreacting, and in this instance, you could be.
“It’s a bit important. This entire time I thought Rose didn’t like you because you were some lame loser that couldn’t pull someone like her.” Your honesty doesn’t fall short today. It’s as if the more you think about the issue, the more annoyed you get.
Jaehyun, quite offended by that statement, sits up from his normally relaxed position as he is ready to defend himself. “You thought that lowly of me?”
“You made it seem that way.” Throwing your hands in the air, you try to control how loud your voice is growing.
“Or maybe that is just how you perceived me.” He pauses, “Rose and I dated very briefly, three months at most. She broke up with me because I was a bad boyfriend.”
The news of them dating seems to piece all the clues together. The way that Jaehyun looks at Rose makes more sense, it was a look of longing and regret. Rose approached him with full control of the situation, affirming that her decision to break up with him is justified.
“I didn’t buy her flowers, even when she asked. There was a night when it rained and I knew she was on campus without an umbrella, I left her out there because I fell asleep. When we hung out with our friends, I would ignore her.”
You’re taken aback at how negligent Jaehyun had been. “So why did you act that way if you like her so much?”
“I took her for granted and I didn’t know how to be someone’s boyfriend.” It is obvious how long Jaehyun had thought about this. He is too self aware to not have. “She wasn’t going to take me back after I fucked up like that, so I thought it would be good to show her through someone else. How I’ve changed.”
“How do I know it’s not all for show? As if you’re only doing these things to convince everyone you’re boyfriend material until she takes you back and you revert back to your ways.” Your eyes dart to the vase of flowers on your kitchen counter. “There’s no heart in what you do.”
“Are we talking about me and Rose or me and you now?” Jaehyun hits you where it hurts – right in your chest. You’re too stunned to speak, the realization falling on you like heavy bricks.
“Why don’t we talk about us?” You clear your throat, flashback of Jaehyun kissing your wrist entering your thoughts. “What was that the other night?”
Jaehyun doesn’t bother playing dumb. “I was really in the moment.” He rests his elbows on his knees, leaning forward and rubbing his hands together. “Looking into your eyes… they’re so mesmerizing, like you understand me with just one look. It causes my heart to swell for you.”
“You like Rose.”
“I do, but I’m not blind.” He shoots you a glare. “You’re really going to think that I don’t find you attractive the entire time we've spent together, being intimate with you even if it's fake.”
“It’s not that, Jaehyun.” You sigh, “I find you attractive too, but you have to remember the original reason we’re doing this.”
“And I do. But I can’t help the feelings that surface when I’m with you.” Visibly frustrated, you both take a second to pause in the conversation to recollect yourselves. His chest heaves up and down, trying to process these feelings now that he has finally admitted them out loud.
You are trying to keep your composure cool, but it’s hard to bite your tongue from every tight restriction in your heart. You might actually like Jaehyun and it’s not something you are prepared to face.
“I think we dug our heels a little too deep.” Breaking the silence, you look up at Jaehyun with a kinder and more empathetic expression. The heat in the room is suffocating, all the tension filling the crevices in the walls.
“Perhaps, but I wouldn’t have done this with anyone else.” Jaehyun sits up, facing you with a marvel in his eyes and adoration flooding his pupils. “You’re absolutely incredible, in every way.”
It’s your turn to hold his wrist when he reaches to brush your cheek, “Jae, I think we might have to call it quits.”
“What? But we didn’t break any of the rules.” The sheer sadness in his eyes is painful to witness. It’s like watching a young boy learn how to sacrifice something for the greater good. Jaehyun didn’t want to lose you.
“I broke the one rule I kept to myself and it was not to develop feelings for you.” His wrist drops from your grasp. “I can’t do it anymore, Jaehyun.”
“You fell for me?”
“How could I not? You’re such a great boyfriend to me, even if it was fake.” Sighing, you ponder if you should continue. “I’m irritated at how you’d buy me flowers, but it’s a bouquet of my favorite ones. I can’t take it every time you’re so insistent about driving me home to ensure I make it back safe. You get along with my friends like you’ve known them forever. When you look at me in the midst of a crowd and it’s just us two.”
You’re biting back tears that threaten to form at the rim and gripping tightly at the end of your shirt. This is all a tough pill for the both of you to swallow. It’s almost as if Jaehyun didn’t consider this a possibility when he had asked you to fake date. He thought that since he was so infatuated with Rose, he wouldn’t feel anything for anyone else. On top of that, he knew you saw him as some loser.
“I think we need to just step back from this for a second and take some time to ourselves. I’ve been seeing you every week–”
“But I want to see you every week.” Jaehyun doesn’t mean to be so difficult and in fact, he is usually one to just agree and follow through another person’s decision. However, something within him wants to fight for you.
“I can’t keep ignoring how I feel for you and it’s unfair to all three of us moving forward.” The hope and joy in your face is evidently depleting. Jaehyun can’t do anything to fix it.
“What does this mean for our project then?”
“Well, there isn’t any more group work for us to need to see each other. We can complete our individual parts and upload it to the sheet.” It’s like you’ve already thought this through all on your own and prepared for all the counterarguments he was going to have.
Jaehyun scoffs in disbelief and starts grabbing his jacket. “I understand where you’re coming from, I’ll give you the space you need.”
You can’t even look at him, knowing that you’re not brave enough to face the hurt and pain on his expression. It’s all already in his voice. “Thank you, Jaehyun. I hope you have fun with Rose.”
With that, he makes his exit from your apartment. The weight on your shoulders is lifted and despite the hole in your chest, you feel like this was one of the better options. The other being that you just suppressed the feelings until they finally got together, but you realized it may have caused you more harm than ease.
In the midst of Rose talking, Jaehyun finds himself wondering about how you were doing. He hasn’t been able to stop this sinking feeling in his chest since he left your apartment. The lingering thought of you remains well intact, every little thing makes him want to reach out.
“Jae, are you here or did I lose you somewhere else?” Rose chuckles at the stunned boy.
Perking up, he focuses back on the conversation that he had tuned out of a while ago. If you had asked him two weeks ago how excited he was about this hang out with Rose, he would’ve said that he was through the roof. Now, he isn’t sure how he’s feeling.
“I’m sorry, Rosie.” That’s all he could do, Jaehyun knows this too well. “I’ve just got other things on my mind lately.”
“Are things not going well between you and y/n?” She tilts her head and her eyebrows furrowed together, lending a friendly ear.
Jaehyun shrugs, completely unsure how he could explain the situation with you. “We got into a fight. A lot of feelings became involved that I didn’t know how to handle or react to.”
Rose sighs, “we used to fight a lot and one thing I hated was that you never came back for me.” Her fingers lightly dance around the rim of her glass. “I know you take time to process your emotions, but the other person will never know how you’re feeling or how you felt if you don’t tell them.”
He remains quiet, absorbing the advice that Rose is giving. This hangout was supposed to be one where he got her back with him, not one where she consoles him on his current fake relationship with you.
“I think y/n brings out a side of you that I didn’t get when we were together.” Rose admits, giving a soft and knowing smile. “However, I feel like they’re the only person that gets to have that side of you. I don’t want you to lose that shine that they bring out of you. You’re absolutely radiant together.”
Jaehyun seriously cannot believe what he is hearing. She asks the waiter for the bill and is packing up her things. “Wait, Rose. We’re done here?”
“Jaehyun, you and I both know that we were done a long time ago.” Rose gives Jaehyun a light squeeze on the wrist. “You should see the way you look at y/n, it’s full of want and excitement.”
There is a brief moment of realization for Jaehyun. The overwhelming emotions overtake him and before he knows it, he’s running out the door of the restaurant and on his way to the one place he’s been holding back from heading to: the flower shop below your apartment.
You’re typing the last bit of your part of the project, nearly trying every way to not engage with the thought of Jaehyun. The take out boxes of dinner scatter your counter as you speedily work your way through long paragraphs.
The one thing you knew was that Jaehyun had been out with Rose and the pain from that discovery stuck to your heart like glue. You were better off with numerous distractions than thinking about how heavenly of a time he must be having with the literal love of his life.
The sound of your doorbell halts your ruthless typing. With curiosity, you approach the door. You weren’t expecting anyone tonight, so it was strange that there would be someone looking for you. Through the peephole, Jaehyun stands there in all of his glory.
You’re practically tearing down your door at the sight of him, bewildered and slightly annoyed at the sight of him. “What are you doing here?”
“Something I should’ve done that night at the party.” Before you could fully process his presence, Jaehyun dives into you with lips firmly pressed against yours.
His hot hands cup both of your cheeks, dropping the bouquet of your favorite flowers he had picked up on his way here. But none of that truly mattered more than finally kissing you.
Your heart swells at the passion that Jaehyun kisses with, it’s loving and strong. Something about it suits him perfectly, like a puzzle piece that completes the picture. Kissing you confirmed everything that Jaehyun had been feeling up to this point.
Fireworks exploding in his chest, he feels an abundance of endorphins lighting his system. Jaehyun has been into you all along. He couldn’t pinpoint why it had been so easy with you, like there were no expectations held against him to be someone extraordinary.
He found himself buying you flowers, but not just anything simple or generic. It had to be your favorite, just so he could see the way your eyes light up at the sight of them. He had to be the one to take you home, making sure he got to spend every second he could with you and that he was the one that got you there safely.
He wanted to impress your friends, knowing how much they meant to you. And when he looks in the midst of a crowd, all he sees is you.
Your grip on his shirt almost makes him not want to let go, like you’re so afraid of him going away again. Nonetheless, he takes your hands into his and pulls away. The look of pure shock on your face makes him chuckle, a full robust laugh from the chest. He could kiss you again right then and there.
“You’re so cute when you do that.” Jaehyun smiles gently, holding you in his arms so lovingly like he has done so before. This feels incredibly familiar to him, but it no longer feels like a show. This feeling is very real and the swelling in his chest is very much aching at the sight of you. He wants to give you the world.
“We broke our first rule.” Your mind draws a blank after the kiss and Jaehyun smiling before you as if you two hadn’t ended things a week ago. He picks up the bouquet of your favorite flowers, handing them toward you with inviting eyes.
“No more rules, no more fake dating. I want the real thing.” Jaehyun swallows his spit, noticing how dry his throat had gotten at his confession. You’re staring at him as if he was seriously out of his mind. “With you.”
And you didn’t think that at the end of all of this, Jaehyun would be at your door with a bouquet of flowers asking you to be his. You proved to Jaehyun that he could love another, while being a better person for them. You truly brought out his boyfriend material, proving to the whole world that Jung Jaehyun is only boyfriend material for you.
⋆⭒˚.⋆ just makes sense ⋆⭒˚.⋆
idol!Jae x f!idol!reader
summary: your and Jaehyun’s fans just really can’t believe that they two of you are just best friends
(cw: f!reader, idol!reader, I used ‘y/n’ :(, “shit”)
Ever since you joined SM you and Jaehyun had been joined at the hip. He was the awkward little guy with the bowl cut and high pitched voice who was just awkward enough to be endearing. It was lucky that you had both joined at similar times, within weeks of each other, so really who better to understand what you were going through than him?
He helped you learn your dances, you helped him moisturize his hair, he brought you food, and you reassured him that his comeback outfits weren’t ugly, even if they were. The friendship just grew and grew, from trainees to full fledged idols who debuted and had their own fans.
You were both the first ones to congratulate each other on comebacks and awards, always there supporting the other. Weirdly, your friendship was either something that management didn’t care about or didn’t keep as close of an eye on. Their idols being good friends shouldn’t be a concern for them, it was a good thing.
It was a nice relationship to show to the public that idols could be friends even with their hectic schedules and levels of fame. Through the years there had been countless pictures of you and Jaehyun out together in so many places. There were late night snack runs, a collection of those from trainee days and even now, neither of you with a spec of makeup or fancy clothes on. There were the lunches you both met up for, a few with your fellow members joining but mostly just the two of you eating and laughing.
Of course there were fans of your group and NCT who wanted you and Jaehyun to be together. They claimed that you brought out the good in each other, neither of you cared what the other acted like, and you brought out a genuineness in the other that was rarely seen. You had to admit you did like that, there was no one in the world closer to you than Jaehyun. He was your best friend, even after all these years, the levels of fame, touring, random hours, and missed hangouts didn’t dampen your friendship at all.
As time went on though, fans became more passionate for their ship. You were constantly tagged in videos of the two of you together and they were cute. How could they not be? Videos of you and your best friend doing your own dances on the SM Town stage, clips of both of you backstage supporting the other, blurry clips of you in the NCT dressing room knocked out on Jaehyun’s shoulder, a clip of Jaehyun leaving your dance studio in one of your group’s vlogs.
Then there were the pictures that you had both posted of each other, never before seen pictures until it was you birthday or his, the cakes you sent the other for birthday lives, or flowers you both sent after big shows, even pictures and videos of you in the NCT crowd with your own Neobong following the dances perfectly in sync.
Pair all that with the random clips of your members randomly mentioning you being out with Jaehyun, Jaehyun stopping by for dinner, Jaehyun sending snacks during a choreography day, or members of NCT mentioning that you stopped by to congratulate them backstage or short clips of Jaehyun in the background on the phone with you.
It was the countless posts and comments in the collection of pictures and edits of people saying they just could not believe you two weren’t together that made you laugh. It was just a known fact, in your early years of being an idol you had even dated someone else, but that didn’t stop or hinder you and Jaehyun in any way. If you were a fan, you would get lost in it all too!
So why was being up at 3 in the morning making you question your feelings for your best friend? A decade of friendship with no other instances of you even feeling remotely attracted to him, but a complication titled “Jaehyun and Y/N being the definition of best friends to lovers for 13 minutes straight” was going to be the one to change it? Was Reason Number 8, looking at him like he was the best thing since sliced bread, true? Did you really look at him differently than you looked at anyone else?
You groaned, swiping the video closed and calling the man himself. The line rang for maybe 5 seconds before he answered tiredly, shit, he was promoting. Now you felt bad.
His voice was groggy and low, “hello? Are you ok?”
“Do you think I’m in love with you?” You asked. Straight to the point, there was no room or time to be awkward with the person who knew you best.
He coughed, actually, it sounded like he was choking. He cleared his voice came out hoarse, “No, I think you love me because we’re best friends, but I don’t think you’re in love with me.” The line went silent for a bit, before he quietly asked, “ are you?”
For whatever reason you felt pressure behind your eyes as you sat up, hot tears lined your eyes as you shyly responded, “I don’t think so, but would it be a bad thing if I was? Maybe one day in the future?”
You could hear the sheets on his end rustling as he likely sat up or readjusted himself in bed. “No way,” he answered quickly and confidently, “would it be bad for you if I maybe one day fell in love with you?”
You wiped away a tear as a tear managed to escape, shaking your head and letting out a sigh of relief, “No.”
“So… do you maybe want to give the romance part a try?”
“Yeah,” you reply, feeling like a weight as been lifted off your shoulders, “but you have to promise that if anything goes wrong we’re still going to be best friends, ok?”
“Nah,” he sighs, letting out a yawn, “now that I have you, I’m not letting you go. Good night.”
You’re glad that it’s a normal phone call so he can’t see the flush that spreads across your cheeks, “good night, Jae.”
A week later when you two go on your first date, nothing has changed between the two of you. You talk like normal, you laugh as usual, the conversation isn’t awkward, but he drops you off right on your doorstep with a kiss and rosy cheeks.
A month later when SM puts out a statement nothing between the two of you changes either. Except this time you don’t read the comments about the two of you alone, you read them together. Because that’s how it’s always going to be from now on.
oh my gosh. this is genuinely one of the most beautiful pieces of writing that I’ve read
The Peace in Her Arms
Pairing: god!Jaehyun (koschei!Jaehyun) x priestess!reader
Genre: Dark romance, fantasy, slow burn, smut.
Word count: 30.1k
Summary: After winning the war against Death, Jaehyun, the Lord of Life, finds himself a lovely wife to enjoy peace, but is soon met with a violent rematch that forces him to send his wife away. Two years later, after carrying his victory with him on the way back home, he finds out that the mournings and havocs of conflict don’t even compare to the pain of his wife not taking him back.
Warnings: contains detailed descriptions of sex, praise and breeding kinks, mentions of violence, as well as references to religions and divinities.
N/A: This plot was solemnly based on Deathless, by Catherynne M. Valente and the entire Russian mythology towards Koschei, the Deathless.
© This fic is an original work by jaevie, 2023.
The night was starry as though the moon had kissed the darkest of dusks to light up the ceremony. The breeze was fresh, gentle enough not to blow out the uncountable candles decorating the garden in front of the manor. White tents were set. Women wore their most elegant dresses, and men had that respectful look on their faces, one that unconsciously mixed with relief now that another war was over. Roses impregnated the atmosphere with their red warmth, attracting the tiniest bees and other adorable bugs, all invited to witness the Lord of Life getting married.
Both you and Jaehyun had considered a small and intimate ceremony, but it had been a bad idea. You were too known for your own good: you for being a popular priestess with healing hands and a brain graced with mythical knowledge; and your soon to be husband for creating life and everything it owned.
“You look stunning,” Vasilisa whispered under her honest breath, looking at your image in the mirror. The servant had been your faithful confidant all the time you stood in Jaehyun's manor. “White really suits you, m’Lady.”
You looked over your shoulder, face covered by a lace hood. “We’ve talked about the m’Lady thing before, Val. That is not necessary.”
“You’re too humble for your own good, m’Lady.”
Vasilisa was right. You felt stunning, the white dress smoothly hugging your silhouette, outlining the shape of your waist and breasts. Even your thighs could be guessed under the silky fabric. The hood belonged to a cape that touched the floor, with the delicate work of seamstresses on its length.
“Come, it’s time,” Vasilisa offered you her hand and a small bouquet of white lilies. With a quickened heartbeat, you followed her down to the garden.
Everyone awaited you, eyes all curious and devouring. On the other hand, you could only care for the tall manly figure waiting for you on the other side.
While you were cladded in vibrant white, Jaehyun wore pitch black with red details on his suit. The Lord of Life had a romantic and dark aura, hair as dark as the eye holes of one’s skull, winter skin and long lashes that caught your attention the first time you landed your eyes on him. He had the appearance of a young man even though he had seen more years than everyone in that garden combined — a detail everyone forgot the second he smiled, sharp teeth and a lonely dimple adding charm to his face.
The man who breathed life into every little being, who saw it all, who tasted it all — that man was bare to his soul in front of you, surrendered to love. Tears glistened in his eyes while you walked to the altar. Once you got to him, his arm smoothly slid around your waist.
“I couldn’t begin to tell you how breathtaking you look,” Jaehyun mouthed.
You wiped his tears away, smiling with the sight. “So are you, my love.”
The High Priestess cleared her throat before initiating her speech. Not only she knew the secrets of the heart, but she was going to seal Jaehyun’s soul to yours with the blessing of all divinities. Not that Jaehyun needed permission from others, as he too had created the gods. However, he respected you and your religion, and it was both polite and symbolic to follow the script.
“Time to make your vows,” the High Priestess announced.
“A marriage is a very private thing,” Jaehyun started, his large eyes soft and frank. “I don’t intend on making my vows comprehensive and reasonable to others, just to you. You, my light in the dark. A husband is not a husband if he can’t be his wife’s best friend and her most ardent lover. If he can’t be at her feet, begging for her love, as I am now. As I will always be. I will feed you when you’re hungry. I’ll make the world go silent when you’re tired. Build a hole in time just for you when you wish to escape, and wait until you’re comfortable enough to come out, because a husband is not to confine, a husband is to free. My love for you desires nothing but to let you dare. Let you be. I am as cruel and demanding as a god can be, but for you, and only you, I will be your faithful husband.”
And like that, you were lost forever.
“You met me at the battlefields.” You still remembered that day: the agony screams were background music as you made the soldiers swallow potions and worked on bandages that smelled like mauve, aloe and rue. “I had always thought love itself was a battlefield in which women had no freedom. To me, marriage had never been for lovers, but for the heartless and the selfish. Today, I take those words back. I couldn’t be happier to be your wife, your confidant, your partner. I give myself to you in love and anger, in peace and chaos, in light and dark. I am yours, Jaehyun. Yours truly. For you I keep fighting, and for you I put my weapons down.”
The both of you slid the thin silver rings on each other’s finger, gazes overflowing adoration. After his hand cupped your jawline and his thumb rubbed your cheek, Jaehyun leaned forward until your lips touched.
“I love you, Y/N. Eagerly.”
You smiled. “I love you. Restlessly.”
As husband and wife, you followed to the reception. You saw many familiar faces amongst the crowd: Taeyong the Lord of Word; the oldest of the old witches, Baba Yaga; the poor and terrifying Bauk, and the otherworldly Lord of Beauty, Ten. Jaehyun’s second in command, John the Knight, was there too, making good use of his politeness to charm the village girls. The guests ate and drank, relishing in food so colorful and luscious one could eat it with their eyes and be satiated. Traditional music was played by a local girl band you knew from your tavern adventures. Bliss and wonder filled the atmosphere.
Jaehyun slid his hand under the table, intertwining your fingers. Your gazes locked right with such fulfillment it made you chuckle out of joy. It was what everyone deserved after the war. After Jaehyun, the Lord of Life, defeated Yuta, the Lord of Death.
Except peace was a very dangerous thing to believe in, you were about to discover.
The candles gave it in, suddenly blown out, even if there was no wind. Only the moon and the stars lit the tents now.
A cold shiver ran down your spine.
Jaehyun tightened his grip on your hand, looking away from your face into the deep darkness ahead of the manor, where the oak trees shook with the piercingly cold breeze.
The night got darker. The guests went silent.
The world took a deep breath.
And then, the shadows of Death came out to play.
They laughed like sharp icicles falling from the sky, moving so fast you lost track of where they were. When you blinked an eye, one of them was by your side, right after Vasilisa.
You remember looking down to your shoes, stained in lively red blood, blood that didn’t belong to you, but to Vasilisa’s slaughtered throat. The sound of her body meeting the floor would haunt you for the rest of your days.
You looked over at Jaehyun. A cruel stillness shielded him like armory, and you knew your husband was once again a general. He was not Jaehyun anymore, but Koschei, the Lord of Life, never scared, unbroken. Deathless.
His eyes were cold when he met yours.
Before you could stop it, Koschei had made one single command to John. John, who put you on the horse and rode you back to the mortal realms. John, whose chest you hurt with your fists, commanding that he rode you back to your husband.
-
The war had ended.
Confident, the sun shone twice as bright between the orange clouds, like water mixing with streams of blood. The birds sang graceful melodies, children ran freely on the cobblestone streets, flowers bloomed in silent laughter, and mothers welcomed their daughters and sons for a warm afternoon that smelled like cakes and coffee. Everything felt alive with pleasure.
You looked over the street through the sunglasses slipping down your nose, carefully watching the euphoria as the newspaper boy screamed with full lungs that THE WAR IS OVER! PEACE IS FINALLY HERE! THE WAR IS OVER!
Everything about that day… Everything reminded you of him.
Forcing yourself to distract your mind, you turned on your heels to keep walking. It was a perfect day to lock up inside the coziness of your home, where nothing would disturb your heart. No news about life, no news about death. However, once you got to the corner of your street, you overheard a little girl praying with her fists against one another, so concentrated in her genuine words that perhaps she didn’t notice how loud she sounded.
“Dear Koschei, I thank you, loving Father, for this day. Thank you for putting an end to this horrible war,” she repeated like a mantra. Behind her back, the ruins of a school stood still, silent and absolute.
“Hey, girl,” you called curtly, making her open her eyes, caramel and expecting. “What exactly are you doing?”
“I’m thanking the Lord of Life, our darling Papa Koschei, for winning the war,” she readily replied. “I know the war was fought by humans, but at the Holy Land of the Lords, Koschei fought for us, and we won.”
The Holy Land of the Lords. The immortal realm, which details remained in your every fiber. Every oak tree, every rook, every crystal river making rocks roll softly under their flows.
“Is that what you believe in?”
“I know it!” The girl passionately replied, her lower lip nearly pouty. “Papa Koschei takes good care of us and would never ever let us die! He's powerful and handsome and I hope he listens to my prayers to take to his realm one day.”
You understood why you’d stopped in front of the girl in the first place. You still wanted to hear about him; still thrived on seeing people indulge into having faith in him, because Koschei the Deathless brought them hope.
What killed you inside was that he had not been as generous to you.
The little girl was right. He wouldn’t let her die. Even if it cost him his marriage.
Once you stepped into the small apartment you called home, removing your red scarf, it wasn’t particularly hard to notice the old lady sitting by the kitchen table, her nose buried in the newspaper.
“The war is over,” Baba Yaga hummed. Her face was wrinkled by years and magic, her spine curved into itself. Her presence was loud and tragic, like a strident mischievous laugh in the depths of the world. Her cat eyes as young as a newborn’s. “Jaehyun won. Now he will come for you, to finally be your husband.”
“Koschei stopped being my husband the moment he sent me here,” your reply was blunt and definitive.
Baba Yaga rolled her eyes. “Two years later, and you’re still the same stubborn, spoiled bride. Don’t you understand he did that to keep you safe?”
“The war was his as much as it was mine,” you retorted, all your emotional scars bleeding and flooding the old rug on the kitchen floor. “I was his wife.”
“You are human,” the oldest of the old witches corrected you. “Too precious for Jaehyun to risk. He had sent you here, to the mortal realm, to keep you safe with me. Or do you think I spent the last two years happy that my obligation was to look after a causeless rebel?” Her gaze pierced you like a needle that knew precisely where to stitch. “Plus, he did send you letters,” she remembered.
Baba Yaga had a point: a war between Life and Death had a direct impact on the mortal realm. Diseases that spread fast, countries that devastated others in the name of progress, genocides motivated by greed and power. That was the way of the world, and Koschei had sent you back into the mortal realm, where the civil war took place, because even if humans battled and killed each other, you would be safer there, with Baba Yaga keeping death away from you.
His letters, though, were burned after you read them. Jaehyun promised a lot, but delivered nothing. No empty words were going to make you feel like a wife.
Taking a deep breath, you looked over the window. Now, the sky was a deep violet, like the first flower to blossom after winter.
“Have you ever understood me, granny?” you asked, even if Baba Yaga hated being called that. “You were there. You listened to our vows. He promised to let me be, that I was going to have as much freedom as a woman could, and I promised to fight for him, because it was the wish of my heart. And then he sent me here. Koschei didn’t give me the tiniest chance to help, to be by his side when he needed me the most. He acted exactly like the husbands I always despised.”
Baba Yaga looked over at you with those firm, impossible to intimidate eyes, dark amethysts that saw through your spirit. You felt both acceptance and opposition, refuge and danger, understanding and disdain.
“Dead wives can’t do anything, child. I respect your hate, and your pride, but stupidity has never made me pity anyone. Love is way more complex than you wish to comprehend.”
You were about to open your mouth to defend yourself when someone knocked on the door
Your heart jumped in your chest, as if it desired to climb up your throat and run. A tall silhouette stood behind the door, seen through the blurred glass. A shadow you could recognize amongst millions; one whose body you knew like a patriot knew the map of her country.
A smirk took shape in Baba Yaga's thin lips. “As I said, Papa Koschei is coming for you.”
You could even feel his scent: amburana notes filling your nostrils with the many memories you kept buried in the deepest coffin of your reminiscence.
Jaehyun.
He had come personally to see you.
Breath got stuck in your throat. Your stomach trembled. You were going to vomit. You were going to panic. You were going to die.
Gathering every fragile piece of fiber, you breathed deeply before staring into Baga Yaga’s stone eyes again.
“Tell him there is nothing he can possibly do to ever make me want to see him again,” you determined before cowardly walking to your room, your legs melting like butter in a frying pan.
-
Death came to everyone. It wasn’t a secret, nor a surprise. Every creature, once born, had no choice but to perish. Some did it very quickly, while others had a long life before being embraced by the numbing hug of death.
There was only one creature that couldn’t die: Koschei, the Deathless, who hid his Death.
It was said that it was hidden inside a needle, which was in an egg, which was in a duck, which was in a black hound, which was in an iron chest, which was buried under an oak tree, in the distant immortal realm, in the island of Buyan.
Only someone who possessed Koschei’s hound could have him in their power.
You knew the myth. Everyone did.
While Life and Death fought endlessly, you minded your own business. You always knew you would grow up to become a priestess. It was in your blood: you learned from your grandmother how to make potions and summon spiritual guides, and your mother taught you how to heal people with herbs. You studied their methods and absorbed their knowledge eagerly, burying your nose in books and devouring every little thing you could learn about magic.
Plants needed to be activated with mantras, candles needed to be lightened with intention, incense burning to keep the energy level, and your spirit needed to be taken care of. Your altar must be kept clean and holy, fed with prayers and meditation, as the holy images of saints watched for you.
Therefore, there was nothing else you could choose as an occupation than being a priestess with a temple inherited from your ancestors. A temple in which people would step into, searching for healing.
Except war got in the way. Meaning that it was not in the temple that people needed your help, but in the battlefields.
When you volunteered for war, you thought you were doing something noble, but as the bombs fell from the sky and families were forever destroyed… When friends and lovers were covered in blood and death, you wish that type of nobleness was never necessary in the first place.
Perhaps, if the Lord of Life and the Lord of Death stopped fighting… If they only could live at peace, others could too.
Not that you expected to ever find out. Few were the people sent to the immortal realm that returned to tell the story. It wasn’t usual for a human to face a Lord or Lady and make their wishes in person.
But you had your chance.
“You’re recruiting nurses for the immortal realm?” Your eyes widened as you grabbed the flier, looking over at the young boy who just had handed it to you.
“Not nurses. Priestesses,” he corrected. “As one, you’ll assist Koschei’s army personally.”
“Aren’t his soldiers immortal?”
“No. Only Koschei can’t be killed. His soldiers can. That’s why we need priests and priestesses, not nurses. To stitch them up.”
It wasn’t hard to make your decision. Your grandmother had passed away years ago, and your mother disappeared in the North, raising suspicions that she was caught by wicked witch hunters.
You had no one.
The boy had not specified how the trip to the immortal realm was going to take place, but you still met him at the park two days later, under an oak tree, as he had told you to, with a crumbly leather suitcase with all your belongins inside.
“His death is hidden inside a needle, which is in an egg, which is in a duck, which is in a black hound, which is in an iron chest, which is buried under an oak tree…” you whispered to yourself, watching as the leaves danced the choreography of the wind.
The boy that recruited you showed up in a war truck and motioned for you to come inside. At the back, six people were already in, including a young man with a soft appearance, whose side you sat at.
The boy started driving, and the truck shook on the paving stones. “How can a boy drive?” You asked, not low enough to keep the question private.
“He’s not an ordinary boy,” the young man by your side murmured politely. “That’s Jisung, the Lord of Choices.”
Your eyes widened. “A Lord? Have I just met a Lord?”
“You have,” he chuckled, then offered his hand. “I’m Mark.”
“Y/N,” you shook his hand.
“First time being recruited?”
“Yes. What about you?”
“Third.”
“But you’re so young!”
“My mother served Koschei her entire life. She occasionally came to the mortal realm for some fun, that’s how she met my dad… And the rest is history.”
“So you know him?” you hummed. “Koschei?”
“No, but I’ve seen him. You’ll see him quite a lot on the battlefield, commanding the army.”
You wondered what the army looked like. Poor souls that wandered the fields in shining armor, fighting against the lethal shadows of Death.
As the truck continued to bounce, its sway had you drowning in your own thoughts. How would Koschei be? Was he an old wizard with a long white beard and protuberant bones, as the fairytales presumed? Or was he the handsome man that stole girls from villages to satisfy his needs, as told in the taverns? Was he capable of happiness, or after so many wars and losses, he was blind to anything else? Was he kind? Stern? Did he regret hiding his death? Was he lonely?
You didn’t know how much time had passed as you occupied yourself with your imagination, but you suddenly noticed the road was now smooth and the sky outside darker. In your heart, magic surrounded you.
You looked at Mark, searching for answers.
“It’s just like that. Magic,” he nodded, confirming that you were now in the immortal realm.
Mountains howled at the moonlight. Red birds cut the night. Witches rode the sky in their brooms. Flowers blossomed nonstop — roses, lilies, tulips, dahlias, buttercups, orchids, begonias —, filling the air with the richness of their perfume. Children were born. Women and men loved women and men. Dogs barked, cats purred, butterflies batted their colorful wings, rabbits hid from foxes. Sailors arrived wandering drunkenly at the harbor, and merchants came to inspect the ships. A circus had just arrived and planned their first night of intense presentations, with lion tamers, tightrope walkers and magicians. Food barracks were set to feed the city, as the steam of the cooking ascended to the vivid atmosphere. Everywhere you went, there was laughter and… And life.
“I thought I was coming for war…” you only managed to murmur.
“You are, don’t be mistaken. But this is the land of Koschei. Life has no boundaries, does it?”
The truck came to a stop and two of the people in the back jumped out. Then, the trip continued as you distanced from the city, diving into a road adorned by trees and silence.
“Koschei keeps the city safe. It is where citizens live,” Mark added.
“Does he live there too?”
“Oh, no. He lives in Buyan, the island.”
You let the answer sink in before making another question. “Why did you volunteer again, Mark, if I may ask?”
He turned his face to the side, as though he didn’t want you to see the sparkle in his eye. “I’m coming for the woman I love. Vasilisa. She is one of Koschei’s personal servants.”
You stood silent for a while. “Isn’t it hard, loving someone that lives in a different dimension? I mean, don’t you miss her?”
Mark grinned, looking down at the way his nervous hands played with each other. “We miss each other all the time, yes. But that’s love. We care about nothing else when we’re together, and respect each other when life gets rough.”
You had no idea how many hours it took for the truck to reach its final destination, but you knew when it happened. The atmosphere got tight as though a hand wrapped around its throat, suffocating. Your sharp sensibility skills perceived the pain, the sadness, the fear that hung in the air like a portrait on a wall, impossible to ignore.
“We arrived,” the Lord of Choices announced.
You jumped out of the truck after Mark. The sky was gray and red, its colors mixed with the extension of the open field, smoke and dust contrasting with the artillery fire. Soldiers, men and women alike, slept and ate at a tent nearby, all wore in camouflage. You outlined the trenches and barriers ahead, as well as a line of covered bodies that had to be evacuated.
Your stomach stilled. You felt like a knot was being tightly tied in your guts.
It came to your knowledge that the Lord of Choices was speaking to you. “Come to the infirmary. Your work is immediately needed.”
You followed obediently. The infirmary was improvised in what seemed like a warehouse, with many hammocks distributed in the length of the room, where people grunted and cried, their sobs echoing through the walls.
You had brought healing potions, as well as candles to evoke the power of your saints. Much to your luck, the infirmary was equipped with many herbs, more than you have seen your entire life. It made you feel confident that you were going to give your best and save as many souls as you could.
But as you first came to lock eyes with a man whose leg was cut off… When he held your hand so tight it could have been broken, begging for the Lord of Life to give him more time… When his aching eyes lost their shine, you sobbed, desperately wishing to go back to the mortal realm.
-
Jaehyun came for you every day, for an entire month, but you never opened the door. Whenever he knocked on the door, your body shock circuited, your pride burned in deadly flames, and you locked yourself in your room, only daring to come out once he was long gone.
Every day, Jaehyun left small things on the kitchen table. Sometimes, it was a white lily. Other times, it was a peach, a firebird feather, a wild flower from the immortal realm.
You never touched his presents. You didn’t even allow yourself to stare at them for too long.
Sometimes, you could listen to his voice in the kitchen, as he freely spoke with Baba Yaga. Deep velvet dripping from his tongue, crowning the world with the grace of his tone. You boiled with how violently your body desired to come out and join the conversation. Deep inside, all you wanted was to tell Baba Yaga to go for a walk and stay alone with Jaehyun in the humble apartment, so different from his manor, to face him properly, looking into those dark eyes, demanding that he begged for your forgiveness. But you were not only a coward, but thrived on the thought of revenge. Let him suffer. Why not? Whenever you thought about opening the door and letting him see you, talk to you, touch you, you remembered the woman that was sent to this world two years ago, still in her wedding dress, desperately crying, punching and kicking the door and the walls, screaming for Jaehyun to come take her back.
You remembered her sorrow, her despair, her loss, her desolation. And because you still carried that woman inside you, you decided to continue locked.
Unconsciously, you confined yourself.
Jaehyun was too respectful to force you to come out. He knew you well enough to tell any attempt to drag you to the kitchen would infuriate you. Plus, Baba Yaga had already updated him on your tantrums, the uncontrolled outbursts of extreme frustration and helplessness that took over you.
“So many women you could choose, and you decided you wanted the most stubborn one,” she grunted lowly.
Jaehyun almost smiled. “A rose without a thorn is not a true rose. We both know that,” he concluded calmly. “I am aware that I caused her too much pain. I can imagine her suffering.”
“I’m afraid that’s a lie,” Baba Yaga retorted. “You’re a Lord, Jaehyun. Someone with power beyond reason, the visceral combination of everything that exists: the excess and the lack, creation and destruction, father and son. Nonetheless, you’re still a man. You had never been in a woman’s shoes. You might think you know women well enough, but that would be the first time you’re mistaken.”
She leaned over towards his face as they sat at the kitchen, having some tea. Her warm breath got to his face when she spoke. It smelled like the past.
“You have never witnessed such suffering. War and starvation, disaster and death, treachery and deceit. Only a fool would say you’re not an expert on those things. But suffering as a woman is an entire different thing. It takes your breath away, plays with your silliness, and makes you feel inferior, forever imprinted with the mark of mediocrity and weakness. That suffering laughs at your face. I know you suffered too, my boy, but you were the one to make a choice. Your wife didn’t have that privilege. You turned her biggest fear into reality. To save her, I know. We all do. Still, she suffered. And to get her back, you’ll suffer twice as much.”
-
You had no rest. There was always way too much work to be done, so you hardly gave yourself the chance to fall asleep. Mark and you did a really good job together, though. He was taught a different kind of magic, but one that worked just as fine. You took shifts sometimes, covering each other when you needed a few minutes to eat and breathe.
It was Mark’s company that made those first days tolerable, as well as those you managed to save and heal. People in the immortal realm were built differently from humans, even if they, too, had a human appearance: their constitution was almost entirely soul, and the rest was body. When healing them, you dealt with their soul: by healing their essence, the small part that represented the matter recovered as well. Some of them, on the other hand… Some of them were too far into the darkness to have their souls saved.
“Sometimes I think this is a metaphor,” Mark admitted one day, with a painfully sleepy voice. “Only the death of the soul matters.”
“Go to sleep, Mark,” you instructed, putting a wet cloth on his forehead.
Oftenly, you and Mark listened to the noises in the battlefield, meaning a battle was taking place. The Death shadows stood away from the infirmary, but you could always tell when they were there: like sadness was closer, its lips whispering dangerous, hopeless words into your ear.
After one of those occasions, the Lord of Choices came back. “We suffered a severe attack. Many of the soldiers need your assistance, but can’t be moved. You ought to go to the battlefield.”
Your legs hurt all the way, but you resisted even when your lungs were filled with the aroma of death. Mark was right by your side — even if you had not known each other for long, he was already a dear friend to you, someone that gave you strength as you stepped into the open, deadly field, rushing to tend to those whose chest moved even the slightest bit, signaling that they were merely alive.
For the very first time, you didn’t feel the sobs climbing up your throat, because you simply had no time to surrender to the minimum sign of weakness.
War was a restless, wicked and cruel thing. Like an emptiness in the world, like a soul sucked out of one’s body never to return. Like someone that forgets how to laugh. Even time was uncertain, as the thickness of the dark sky almost didn’t shift when the sun rose. All that existed was the nonstop exercise to jump from soldier to soldier, stitching their wounds, removing body parts that were too damaged to be saved, and paying respects as you closed the eyes of the soulless.
Nine hours passed after you and Mark arrived when you two had the chance to climb up a timid hill to rest before going back to the infirmary. Mark offered himself to grab some water for you to drink on your way back. You stood back, watching the heavy sky.
Your mind was in a state foreign to you, one that played with the limits of tiredness and doubt. You often thought about going back to the mortal realm, swallowing guilty at the influence of your selfishness, but only a liar would say the battlefields and the work at the infirmary was never to be questioned. Still, as hard as it was, you held onto the expectations of your childhood with tooth and nail. “That’s a job for a priestess. A very good one,” you sighed, resting your back against the dirty grass.
As you stared into the tragic shades of the sky, your line of thinking wandered through the heavy clouds with possibilities of peace. As a child, you had witnessed a war that lasted five years, You remember how unfair you judged life to be back then. How it revolted you. As time went by, you seemed to get to the conclusion that the world was like that, and there was nothing you could possibly do to change it. Your role would be forever a healer’s. But now, as your exhaustion mixed with consciousness, you really wondered if the world had to be the way it was.
What if you could change it? What if you could make your voice heard, provoking the Lords and Ladies to change their minds? To actually embrace the idea of a different way of living, where men experienced less violence, where women were happy and not raped, where children had more smiles than sorrow?
Your right ear captured the sound of heavy boots standing close to you, and you got up completely startled, scared that a shadow was after you.
It was not a shadow. It was a man one head taller than you, whose composure immediately turned him in as someone of power. His brown eyes reflected brighter under the white thundering of the sky, and thick eyebrows gifted his face with the privilege of a deep expression. His hair was as dark as the clothing we wore: a velvet suit so rich in details he looked like a noble. A strand of hair fell like a comma onto his small and pale forehead. Even if he was human, he reminded you of a lonely hunting wolf.
“You scared me, sir,” you placed one hand to your chest. The tip of your fingers told you exactly how dirty you and your clothes were after those exhausting hours. Two oily strands of hair fell in front of your face, too rebellious to stay kept in your ponytail.
“I apologize,” the man leaned forward for a moment, respectfully. “I assume you’re one of the new priestesses?”
“Yes. I arrived last week.”
His eyes carefully examined you, his plump lips pressed to each other. There was something in those irises, a mystery hidden in the confines of time and space. “What’s your name?”
“Y/N. What is yours?”
“They call me Koschei, but I only tell my real name to those who are dear to me.”
You nearly choked on your own tongue, as your mouth was too dry to have saliva in it. “My Lord,” you grabbed the skirt of your dress to kneel, but he stopped you with a single move of his hand.
“That’s not necessary. If anyone should bend, it is me, as you might have given up many things to come here and save my army.”
His words surprised you as much as his face. Koschei was young in appearance, gentle voiced, and seemed like he was considerate. He was nothing like some books defined: a tall, thin, old man with a long beard and livid eyes, covered by a black cape, a creature so worn out by time and circumstance that he didn’t ever resemble the life he carried in his title.
“How many people have we lost today?” he then inquired.
“Around a hundred.”
You had the impression that the number physically hurt him, as Koschei hissed lowly. “I wish it didn’t have to be this way,” it was what he said, looking down at his hand. An open wound was closing, deathless. “But we had to let them get very close. It was the only way to get some advantage.”
“Do you think you’ll defeat the Lord of Death one more time?”
Koschei lifted his gaze to meet yours. “I don’t wish to defeat him. I only wish to end the war.”
Your eyebrows clenched. “By defeating Death, wouldn’t you end the war for all?” You fought not to call him lord again. “Wouldn’t it be better for people if you and Death stopped fighting?”
Your question nearly had him smiling at the corner of his lips. “Life without death would be unbearable. Things need to die, Y/N, so others can be born. I created Death before creating anything else. Even before Time. Yuta is my oldest brother. He is also my oldest enemy. Life and Death will never stop fighting.”
Yuta. The Lord of Death had a real name.
“Then, the mortal and immortal realms will always be fighting too,” you stated.
“Indeed. Think about a baby. It starts its way to death as soon as it is born.”
You breathed deeply, trying to make your next question as polite as you could. “Isn’t it unfair that people are destined to always be at conflict? Don’t you think it would be better for everyone if they could just have some peace?”
Koschei the Deathless scanned your eyes with admiration — so beautiful, alive and pure, he thought — and shook his head shortly.
“In loneliness, we act in the name of love. In war, we act in the name of survival. I love my brother dearly, so I can’t kill him. And he can’t kill me, because no one can,” he replied firmly. “Plus, I am not to blame alone. I created the mortal realm, and the human souls that thrive there. Your books only tell how the Lords influence human life, but never how you mortals influence us.” His eyes didn’t leave yours. “Humans start wars. They kill, deceive and make mischievous plans to conquer power and prestige, no matter how many have to perish for them to succeed.”
Koschei took one step closer. You merely registered the red lightning that cut the sky like the blade of a knife behind his back.
“But they also love and aid,” he continued. “They have passions, and a wild, fertile imagination. Art, music, food, traditions, religions, family, sex, redemption… Humans are so beautifully alive. As a loving father, I can only fight for them.”
“You’re the Lord that created everything. You could as well create a Lord or Lady of Peace,” you retorted, fighting not to stumble in front of his grandiosity. “Isn’t the pain enough reason to spare the ones you love?”
His eyes allured you like flames. “Pain and death are part of life too, priestess.”
The closer he got, the more you felt blood rushing in your veins, your heart so fast as though it had a race to win. Your body screamed that it was alive, that it wanted to seize eternity with possibilities, love, happiness and euphoria.
That was Koschei’s first effect on you.
“But you only know pain,” you boldly stated, determined to offer him a new point of view. “Even if you do witness the death of others, as I did here everyday since I arrived, you don’t know your own.”
The Lord of Life was so close by now that his shadow circled you like the wings of an angel.
“You do wish to change the world, don’t you?” he inquired.
“I am not opposed to contradictions, but I do believe a loving father would do anything to keep his children safe and happy,” you replied, holding the intensity of his gaze. “Happiness is as important to Life as Death.”
Koschei allowed your opinion to sink in. After a few seconds, that seemed to last longer, he offered you a gentle smile. “Join me for dinner, miss. I’ll be more than content to take a deeper dive into your thoughts.”
-
The failed visits Jaehyun paid to your apartment kept going for a few more days until Baba Yaga came to knock on your room’s door.
“Tell him I am not coming out,” you warned.
“It is not your husband who came this time,” she announced.
You lifted your chin from the bed.
“Who is it, then? One of his servants?”
Your heart ached at that. What had happened to Vasilisa remained a mystery to you. You could only guess she’d been buried with the rest of the wedding’s victims.
“Not one of his servants, definitely. Why don’t you come out and see?” It was Baba Yaga’s reply before her steps distanced from the door.
Driven by curiosity, you complied. It rained outside, the droplets making a calm melody at the ceiling, muffling the volume of your breath when you opened the door. One turn right at the end of the hall, and you were face to face with a thin man in red clothes, his heavy boots wet with rain, his eyes like blood.
The Lord of Death.
“What a nerve you have coming here after ruining my wedding,” you calmly observed. Even if you were in front of Koschei’s fatal enemy, the person who was guilty of slaughtering Vasilisa, you knew the rules of the world well enough to act otherwise. Yuta was dangerous, like a tiger to a rabbit. Killing was in his nature. Nothing you said and did was going to change that.
Yuta bent softly to you, causing the attentive Baba Yaga to snort.
“I wish I could apologize, m’Lady, but one can only be what faith reserved. I agree your wedding perhaps wasn’t the best choice, but I love a little family drama.”
“I almost didn’t notice,” you breathed, eyeing him carefully. “What do you want?”
“As you might have noticed, I lost the war. Your husband came out victorious, and some of our brothers and sisters gathered to put me on trial. I came to personally invite you to be one of the witnesses.”
“A witness against your war crimes?” you clenched an eyebrow.
“A witness against my crimes on your wedding,” Yuta specified. “Koschei sued me. Not for my war crimes — he knows I would never be punished for that. He sued me for ruining your ceremony, and what followed.”
Oh, you could so clearly see it. How mad Jaehyun had gotten, exactly? What was the size of his fury to be once again involved in war strategies, and not in a bed you kept warm, lustful, never ending?
A war he could forgive. But what happened at your wedding was a different story.
Your eyes nearly softened at the news, but you were quick to clear your throat and recompose yourself. “When?”
“Tomorrow.”
“And I suppose you’ll be taking me back to the immortal realm?”
Yuta’s eyes sparkled, cunning. “I would love to, m’Lady, but Koschei would never allow that. The old witch can help you with that.”
You turned to Baba Yaga with the speed of sunlight, your eyes tight and your tone accusing. “You could have taken me back! All this time!”
“Not a fight worth buying against your husband,” she simply replied. “Koschei’s trust is too dear to me to lose it.”
You hated it. How much power Jaehyun had. How everyone adored him. How little girls prayed to him and thanked him for his kindness. How he had left your wedding ring at the table the previous day: the same wedding ring you threw at the river, one year ago, in a tantrum so strong you got a fever and Baba Yaga made you soup for a whole week.
If you really intended on never seeing Jaehyun again, you would have turned to Yuta and declined. But your heart was bleeding to have justice made, and your poor emotional state considered that Jaehyun deserved the revenge of seeing the version of you that hated him. He deserved to suffer too, didn’t he?
You turned your face to the Lord of Death.
“I’ll be there.”
-
“If you can take me to the immortal realm, then you’re a Lady,” you risked as Baba Yaga made you jump inside a small carriage, one that already felt inadequate compared to the first few cars that ran the city’s streets.
“Lady of Nunnery,” she replied ironically.
“Don’t be so mean, granny,” you cooed, arranging your light blue gown that you so carefully chose for the trial, one with long sleeves and a tight skirt. “Aren’t you happy that you might return to your own life and catch up on whatever else you wish to do, instead of watching me?”
“I’m too old and wise to allow myself to have hope,” Baba Yaga concluded. With a small, mostly inaudible hiss of her lips, she commanded the two black horses to ride, and with that the carriage began to move.
The trip to the immortal realm was as smooth as the first time. In the blink of an eye, the pavement the sun shone brighter, music filled the air, and the food barracks set an abundant diversity of colors and smells, so much your mouth watered. Everything tasted better in the immortal realm.
Now that you were back, you realized how badly you had missed it. It felt like being home after the longest of journeys. Like coming back to the arms of a mother. You were too drawn in your thoughts to speak for the rest of the trip as the carriage took you to the Palace of Justice. You had only been there once, to accompany Koschei in the judgment of a failed attempt of robbery in Buyan, when a very talented robber tried breaking in to search for his death.
It was a marvelous construction, as palaces are. Everything was clean and immaculate, the marble on the walls, the tall windows and the solemn ambience of silence and wisdom. You and Baba Yaga handed the carriage to a young girl and walked inside calmly. She limped on one foot, so you kept yourself close to her, even if the old witch wouldn’t ever ask for help.
“You know what to do, right?” she spoke.
“Be honest and merciless,” you mocked.
“Be clever, girl. You have cried for this day to come, to be reunited with Koschei, and have some peace. Enjoy it now that you have the chance.”
You took a closer look at the surroundings, at the spotless carpet, the vivid and dramatic paintings, the employees… The life you wish you could have right there. “I don’t think it is that simple, granny,” you replied, as you came to face a tall door that was opened for both of you.
The courtroom was wide as everything in the immortal realm. That land belonged to Koschei, meaning it was a full expression of everything life could be: the chairs gracefully decorated with silver flowers, the ceiling made of glass in a garden of multiple colors, the judge bench imponent and high, where the gorgeous Lady of Justice sat. She looked like an angel, tall and firm, her white gown contrasting with the holy blackness of her skin.
As you walked in, familiar faces turned to look at you. You caught how Ten the Lord of Beauty offered you a friendly smile, and how Taeyong the Lord of Word tilted his head in respect. John the Knight was there too, with the same apologetic look he gave you the last time you met, as you ordained he brought you back. They were at your wedding, as well as other Lords and Ladies that had already found their seats. The Lord of Death was there too, clad in his deep red clothes and cunning gaze. Jaehyun had not arrived yet.
You and Baba Yaga made your way to the first row of seats, in front of the Lady of Justice. It instantly came to your mind how it was said that the Lord of Beauty was entirely enamored with her, and with one look you knew it was true. Ten had always been smitten for beautiful things, and the Lady of Justice was easily one of the most dazzling creatures you had ever put your eyes on. As Justice itself, she was severe and rigid, but also welcoming, strong, and undeniable.
Each person that walked inside the courtroom had your heart throbbing in your chest. Unconsciously, you waited for Jaehyun to arrive, and your body knew it, making you wish to pick at your nails, bounce your feet to the floor and look at your back, searching for him. Your body never failed to betray you. Both you and Jaehyun knew it well. The moment you felt your heart racing, your veins blooming, your head spinning with the force of a tornado, you knew he had arrived.
His effects on you never failed.
Your head started a war with your heart, as you forced yourself not to look over your shoulder. You sensed your husband approaching you with every step, until his silhouette stood right in front of your eyes. Without further choices, you lifted your gaze to meet his.
How absolutely cruel life was to you, giving you such a handsome, perfect man, and making him so irresistible your heart weighed twice in your chest, nearly pulling you to stay on your knees and kiss his hands, his thighs, beg for him to let you in, to invade you, to love and fuck you, to utterly and gutturally ravish you, to take you home and make you his wife again and again.
But you refrained. You refrained even though your eyes tried their hardest to delight him with your weakness.
“Y/N, my wife,” Jaehyun said, his voice almost like a plea, eyes frankly in love, wanting and admiring.
“I can hardly be called that, Koschei.”
“Jaehyun,” he interfered, eyes tightened, as though you calling him Koschei physically stung. “That’s how I told you to call me.”
“Take your seat. Trial is about to start,” you calmly enunciated.
His austere reaction was successful in hiding precisely how much pain you brought him with your coldness, but you both knew two things: you loved Jaehyun, and Jaehyun loved you.
You were expecting he would find a seat somewhere else, but much to your surprise, the Lord of Life locked a meaningful gaze with Baba Yaga.
“An old lady has got no peace in this fucking world,” she complained, getting up for Koschei to sit down by your side.
You quickly grabbed her wrist. “Don’t go, gran-”
“Shut up, child. I don’t take orders from you,” she hissed like a fox, slipping from your touch and stonily finding herself another seat at the third row.
Jaehyun, then, sat by your side. Those excruciatingly dear amburana notes filled your lungs, and you had to clench your thighs to keep still. Thankfully, the Lady of Justice spoke next, opening the session.
“You haven’t replied to my letters,” Jaehyun murmured.
“You haven’t kept your vows,” you returned just as lowly. “You confined me.”
“For your own fucking good. Did you wish to be killed?”
“I wished to be with you.”
“It was too dangerous here. I thankfully had time to rebuild the city before you arrived, to spare you the chaos.”
So the city, the place he always did his best to keep safe, was attacked.
“You didn’t have to do that all by yourself.”
“I wouldn’t risk losing you, Y/N,” he looked over at you, discreetly at the corner of his eye. “You’re too loved by me.”
Everytime his mouth spoke of love, you shuddered.
“Yuta wouldn’t dare kill me,” you risked. Only a guess.
“You know nothing about Lords and Ladies,” Jaehyun nearly rubbed his face in frustration. “Yuta doesn’t have a trustworthy sense of morals, Y/N. If he had the chance to take your death with him, he would.”
“Wouldn’t you be capable of rescuing me?” Your question let him know that, time after time, as you had been away in the mortal realm, you had thought about the possibilities over and over. “To breathe life into me after I was gone?”
“For that, you’d have to be born again.”
“So be it.”
You immediately noticed how his hand, placed on his thigh, clenched into a fist.
“You think too little of my love for you,” Jaehyun growled. “If you were born again, you wouldn’t be as you are now. And as you are now is how I want you. Every day and every night. I can’t tolerate a world emptied of you, Y/N… I hav-”
“Koschei, the Lord of Life, will contribute as our first witness,” the Lady of Justice announced in a voice two volumes louder, breaking your conversation. Jaehyun smoothly got up, looking over at you dearly before he moved over to the front of the judge's bench.
“Can you tell us what happened that night?” the Lady of Justice asked.
“It was the night of my wedding. As you all know, I had never been married before, but fell in love with a priestess. She’s right there,” he pointed at you with pride in his eyes, and even a smile to his lips, making you want to shrink until you disappeared. He was so in love. Fuck, he still was so in love… “We had just won the war against Death, but Death then decided to strike back that same night, causing sixty of our guests to find a violent end on our dinner table. I had to send my wife to the mortal realm, for her own sake, and since that day we didn’t get to properly live as husband and wife. That’s why I sued Death. If he had had the decency of waiting, then perhaps my first wedding days would have been happier.”
You looked over at Yuta, and how his face was soft and calm, relaxed even, with a mocking grin to his lips, and you couldn’t help but feel the trial regarded the wrong subject. Yes, he should be addressed for what he did to your wedding. But shouldn’t he be addressed for way more crimes than that?
Without further thinking, you stood up. “Permission to speak, my Lady,” your voice politely asked.
The Lady of Justice complied with a nod.
“Permission granted, priestess. Please, come closer.”
You obeyed, readily standing by Jaehyun’s side. “I do believe the Lord of Death did us wrong by ruining our wedding, and as Koschei told you, I did suffer a lot, being sent to the mortal realm. I have belonged here since I first stepped into this realm, to aid during the war. Death’s revenge on my wedding will perhaps be something I will never entirely get over, but…” your eyes tightened a little, “but I believe we are addressing the wrong thing. My suffering was not individual. Many suffered from the effects of the war. Families were taken apart, destroyed, many kids never had the chance to grow up. My dear friend Vasilisa was murdered in front of my own eyes,” at that, you looked over at Yuta. “Life was assaulted and humiliated in several ways, and it would be selfish of me to stand here to defend myself against a single tragedy when so many lost their lives and hopes. Their souls.”
The entire room looked at you amusedly.
“So what you mean is that this trial should be against war itself?” the Lady of Justice asked to clarify.
“I’m not sure a trial is going to entirely solve the issue,” you replied calmly. “I suggest that, instead, we discuss peace.”
You caught the way Jaehyun looked at you. How enamored he was. How he could have put you on a pedestal.
“Peace?” Ten the Lord of Beauty tasted the word in his tongue.
“Peace is at a state of mind, at its best,” Taeyong the Lord of Words hummed. His pure and big eyes stared into the air as if he was reading the word over and over.
“It could be a state of reality too,” you added. “Peace and war are opposites: as death exists to balance life, peace should exist to balance war. There’s where Koschei comes in,” you presented your idea smoothly. It wasn’t the first time you discussed such matters with Jaehyun. When he first invited you over to dinner, you had mentioned the idea. “As Lord of Life he can create someone to manage peace as he did to each of you.”
You and Jaehyun eyed each other. You couldn’t tell if he was more proud or challenged: he had never agreed on creating peace in the first place, but if you could bargain with him, that was your request.
“I think it is fair,” Justice agreed. “But it is my job to make sure we reach the final goal of this trial. Koschei, do you wish to continue with it?”
Jaehyun slowly averted his eyes from you to her. “Let’s do as my wife says,” he decided. “But I have a condition for the trial on Death to be canceled.”
“We are all ears, Life,” Yuta cooed.
“Let me rescue Vasilisa from the realms of Death and make her be born again,” Jaehyun breathed. “And Mark too.”
-
You could say you and Koschei were getting closer. After the first dinner in the manor, where he carefully listened to your ideas — to your surprise, without ever mocking you or lowering your reasoning —, it was frequent that the Lord of Life searched for you. Once together, you never stopped talking about diverse subjects. Sometimes, you even had the impression he consciously wanted your point of view and advice, like he treasured your way of thinking, so rich in complexity and imagination.
“It’s like the first day of spring,” Koschei explained while you took a walk at the manor’s garden a few weeks after your first encounter. War continued, but the battlefields were calmer: Death had a lot of work to do with a new local disease that was taking many lives away in the mortal realm. Even Mark had a moment to travel to Buyan and meet Vasilisa. “Not spring itself, but the first day, when the weather is warmer and the flowers stretch, blossoming…”
“What?” you asked with interest.
“Talking to you.”
Your cheeks burned. “Oh, we humans just have smart ideas,” you humbled, unaware that you were reducing yourself because of your shyness. “The majority of us are very smart. We even have artists such as Frida Kahlo and Remedios Varo. Are you familiar with them?”
“I know everything my kids do, miss,” Koschei chuckled.
“So…” you bit your cheek,“did you know me before I arrived?”
“Not like that,” he admitted, his expression going slightly serious as he stopped to admire the white roses. Big and with rich, thick perfume. “I personally made the first men and women, and let them be, so I didn’t have the time to catch up on them individually, but I know what goes on. Humans are free to make their choices and populate the mortal realm, mate with whoever they want to. I’d say the Lady of Desire plays a huge role in that.”
“Never heard of her. What is she like?” you tilted your head, focusing on the big lilies that smelled like heaven. Life really flourished differently in Koschei’s land.
“Entirely convincing. Dangerous, even. Once in her presence, your head is easily messed up with,” his voice was like a song as you slipped down the garden, unable that, everywhere you went on the obsidian pathway, Koschei followed, attracted to your natural scent like a bee to a flower.
“She might be very alluring,” you commented. “I sometimes wonder if desire could be a law.”
“How so?”
“One could only have another if there was any desire,” you clarified. “It would certainly avoid women from getting raped.”
Koschei stopped in awe. “You can’t help but care about others, can you?”
“As you should,” your tone was light, but sincere. “Thinking the world is the way it is leaves no imagination for creation and improvement. I was kind of disappointed to know you’re a bit selfish.”
He swallowed. “Selfish?”
“Yes. You know, children pray for you. And still they mourn their families in war. The idea of an omnipresent, benevolent Lord isn’t exactly real.”
“That’s a version humans created of me. To have hope, perhaps. It is like saying that every woman was born to be a tender mother,” Koschei reasoned, and when he passed you by, his side brushed yours, leaving soft goosebumps under the fabric of your dress.
He smelled like the loveliest amburana tree.
“I am not immune to desire,” he continued, holding your gaze as though it was needed in such an exposure. “I can’t ignore the wishes of my heart, and by nature I am cruel, demanding, and utterly unforgiving. But I can also be gentle, loving, and nurturing. Just like life is, sometimes.”
If you said you were not attracted by the contradiction he held at the tip of his tongue, and at every fiber of his being, you would be shamelessly lying.
You stopped underneath a gazebo, near a black water fountain, where water was continuously spilled from the mouth of a hound. Symbolic. “Is it true that you had many lovers?” you felt bold in asking.
Koschei picked a deep red apple from the nearest tree, supporting his weight on the gazebo before replying. “I was a lover countless times,” he removed a knife from the pocket of his suit — the blade had delicate decorated eggs imprinted on it — and cut a slice out of the fruit. “And I have loved too, more than anyone.”
“Did you really steal girls from villages to make them yours?”
“That sounds like rape to me.”
“Did you?” you insisted.
“No,” Koschei handed you the apple slice. You easily accepted it. “I didn’t have to.”
With all his looks and conversation skills, you trusted he was speaking the truth. You bit down on the apple, enjoying the sugar on your tongue.
“By the way, the boys searched for me as well. And I loved them all,” Koschei added, and at that you chuckled, placing your hand on your lips. You still had food in your mouth.
Smoothly, Koschei grabbed your fist and put it down. “Don’t hide your smile,” he hummed with such chivalry and admiration you went silent, your pupils widening. “It is one of the most beautiful things in you.”
Sometimes, in the deepest secrets of the night, you wondered if Koschei the Deathless meant the way he looked at you. Could he really be interested in what you had to offer? Your ideas, your mind, your beauty? You liked yourself quite right, and saw yourself as pretty in your own way.
Lately, with the way Koschei gazed at you, so tenderly, so happy even, when you caught him looking, well… It felt like he was attracted to you.
Now he was just admitting that he found your smile to be beautiful.
Automatically, you looked away, unsure. Understanding, Koschei removed his hand and returned to cutting a slice for himself. “What about you, miss? Did you have many lovers?”
“A few,” you hummed, staring at the effortless moves of his hands. “I had a school sweetheart, but we didn’t last. After him, it was all fun.” You considered whether you shared extra information. “By the way, I have loved girls too.”
At your reveal, Koschei nearly cut his thumb.
As if to save you from further embarrassment, one of Koschei’s servants approached you, bending to him in respect before speaking. “My Lord, I’ve got news from the city.”
“Go ahead.”
“One of our priests was murdered by shadows. His girlfriend came all the way from the City to report the crime herself.”
That was how you lost Mark. That was how you met Vasilisa.
-
“Vasilisa and Mark will be born again,” Baba Yaga concluded after the trial was over, as you waited for the carriage. “Take them as apprentices. Teach them your magic.”
“For that to happen, I will have to stay in the immortal realm.”
“Wasn’t that your plan all along? Or do you wish to return?”
“Well, granny, we are waiting for the carriage to take us back.”
The old witch frowned. “I have never said that I was going to take you back! Papa Koschei’s orders were to bring you here. The carriage will take me back to my realm. You go back to Buyan, where you belong.”
You couldn’t say you were surprised, but the slightest stubborn hope of your heart wished you could punish Koschei for longer.
The boy came with the carriage and Baba Yaga was so eager to leave she nearly kicked him away.
“Cruel woman,” you teased.
“After spending so much time with you? Absolutely!” She jumped in, her hand on the door. “Be safe, child.”
And with that, Baba Yaga left. The last thing you registered was how the yellow and brown leaves danced with the cold wind as the night approached and her carriage disappeared into the blooming horizon.
“She is the Lady of Luck,” Koschei’s voice right behind your back startled you, making your shoulders jump. “I’m sorry, love. Didn’t intend on scaring you.”
“Don’t call me that,” you growled.
Noticing the goosebumps on your skin, Koschei immediately removed his coat and landed it on your shoulders. You felt instantly warmer. “What else is a poor husband to call his wife? No matter how hard I had it, my vows were made. You’re mine as much as I am yours.”
“You already know my opinion on the effectiveness of your vows.”
“Not even you kept them fully,” his tone wasn’t accusing, but it made you frown, offended. “You promised to let your weapons down for me.”
“I did!”
“Not freely.”
“You forced me, Koschei.”
“And you’re mad about it. I understand it,” he searched for your hand, and this time you couldn’t pull away. His slender fingers had always felt magical on yours: long digits compared to tiny ones. Jaehyun placed your hand on his chest, right where his deathless heart beat. “All I ask is for you to let me be who I wanted to, two years ago. Give me the chance to be your loving, faithful husband, and I’ll make it up to you. Every little punch on the wall, every scream of my name… I’ll make up to you, wife.”
You were still angry, fuming, and hurt. But as life’s contradictions itself, you were eager, desperate to love, and ready to make the Lord of Life fall to his knees in front of you, begging, crying, sobbing.
“Take me to Buyan.”
-
The loss of a close friend felt like a knife transpassing your heart. Not only you got deeply affected by the news, but surrendered to the strongest fever you ever had, so devastating Koschei insisted you were taken to Buyan, where he could keep a close eye on you.
You insisted Vasilisa joined you: the sweet girl was already like a little sister, so loyal she stood by your side all the time you were treated in the luxurious manor Koschei the Deathless resided in.
At least, you had someone to mourn with.
The doctors said the fever was closely related to the state of your soul: in the immortal realm, your soul commanded, and your body obeyed. You were so sad and broken at the loss of Mark, so young, lively and willing, that your body simply couldn’t take it.
Koschei constantly came to visit, sometimes staying by your bed when Vasilisa needed to rest or to tend to her own pain.
Three weeks after Mark’s passing, Life and Death came to an agreement and the war was over. You were already fully recovered, but still mourning, when the news came in like the sun at the beginning of a fresh morning. With it, you considered your options.
Going back to the mortal realm was your original plan. But did it make any sense? What awaited you on the other side? Your job as a priestess would certainly help people, but it wasn’t like you were going to be useless in the immortal realm. Souls there were way more sensitive, and perhaps the healing touch of your hand would bring them some comfort.
In the immortal realms, at least, you had Vasilisa.
And Koschei.
You couldn’t deny your heart had grown affectionate towards him. The Lord of Life was thrilling, alluring and simple, as a man should be. He listened carefully to your thoughts and took you seriously. He protected you. He shared the wonderfulness of his mind and creations, and you liked that, more and more, he took your opinions into consideration before making a move.
If love ever bloomed in you, then you wished it was for and with someone like him.
Obviously, your limited human brain went skeptical: Koschei, the Lord of Life, didn’t need you. With the end of the war, he would return to his own interests, and you were going to be dismissed, to carry on with your own matters too.
You grabbed your old, crumbly suitcase, and started putting your few belongings inside.
“Are you really making a decision before talking to him?” Vasilisa crossed her arms, her gaze piercing as she stood by the doorframe of your temporary room. You understood why Mark fell in love with her. She was one of a brave kind.
Koschei was going to know. But, you were sure, nothing would change. “I’ll talk to him at dinner.”
When night fell, you took your last chance to wander through the manor. It was twice as luxurious as the one described in school books, filled with colorful windows, flowers, paintings, plants, stairs, libraries, and secret rooms. Koschei lived there by himself, with a dozen servants that kept the place neat. You couldn’t help but imagine how lonely it must have been for him, living in such a huge place, without a family or a pet. Perhaps you could write him letters, to help him pass the time, now that peace was made.
You took your time admiring the paintings on the walls and facing the loving garden through the windows as the sky got darker with each second. Birds sang the softest melody; tree tops swayed with the warm wind coming from the South.
You were going to miss that place. But you have made your decision.
You wore a plain soft pink dress that squeezed your waist just right. You weren’t used to how expensive you looked in silk, but the options in the manor were just as elegant. Vasilisa insisted you wore a pair of garnet gem earrings, which made you feel the closest to a princess, but still you.
Usually, you and Koschei had dinner at his particular office, where the cozy atmosphere suited your conversations. And, as always, when you lifted your hand to knock on the door, just right before you did it, he opened it for you.
But this time, Koschei didn’t hide how marvelous you looked. “Holy shit,” he whispered under his breath, eyes traveling from your face to your cleavage to your waist.
You heard how hard your heartbeat was in your own ears.
“I’m sorry,” Koschei nervously looked back into your eyes. “You look so insanely beautiful I couldn’t hold back.”
Even if with burning cheeks, you managed to laugh it off. “That's very human of you, Koschei.”
There was a simple meal for you two, a stew so delicious it reminded you of your granny, and wine to swallow it down. You took a sip before gathering courage to introduce the subject you had to discuss.
“What are your plans now that war is over?”
“Keeping things alive,” he replied shortly. “Making sure the population is multiplied. I already contacted Desire.”
“It’s time you create the Lady of Consent.”
“I already have, miss.”
“Really?” You merely could hide your surprise.
“Really. One day you’ll meet her.”
You were expecting him to ask what you would do, but the question didn’t come, so spoke. “I was expecting to return to the mortal realm now that my work here is done.”
Koschei put the fork down and stared into your eyes as if you were speaking another language. Slowly, you could see his face was hiding its own expression. He didn’t want to seem offended. “Why do you say that? Aren’t you happy here?”
“On the c-contrary, I am!” you stuttered, realizing his question made you think harder about what you truly wanted. “But I guessed that, with the end of the war, the recruits were going to be sent back to their homes.”
Koschei leaned back on the chair. His eyes were still on yours, analyzing what seemed to be a secret enigma. “Have I failed in showing my affection for you so badly that you think of yourself as an ordinary recruit?”
“I mean, I am...” Your gaze faltered until you, finally, stared down at your lap, embarrassed.
And then he said what you wished to hear: “I don’t want you to go back.” You looked back up. Such beautiful eyes he had. “I want you to stay, Y/N. Have been for a while now. I was going to ask you tonight.”
Your words escaped your mouth without a filter, and you sounded demanding, but also eager. “Then ask me.”
You almost gasped with how Koschei slowly stood up only to kneel in front of you, grabbing your anxious hands in his.
“Y/N, the time we spent together brought me much joy, and I believe I’ve made you happy too. It’d be a torture to watch you leave my realm, and twice a torture to watch you leave me,” he spoke every word out loud and honest. “I am not on my knees to beg only as Lord of Life. I am on my knees to beg as a man. Please, consider the possibility of staying.” Koschei brought your hand to his lips and planted a chaste kiss on your skin. The sincerity of his eyes reflected the flames on the fireplace. “Consider the possibility of being mine.”
He handed the power right into your hold, a decision for you to make.
You felt so wanted, so dear, so scandalously beautiful, and your heart for once relaxed, your blood warm on your veins, your lips itchy. “Koschei, I-“
“Call me Jaehyun. That’s my name.”
Your eyes sparkled.
Gently, your hand reached for his face, brushing his hair back before cupping his cheek. You didn’t say a word. All you did was lean over and press your lips to his.
-
The manor was very much like it had been committed to your memory, with the piercing difference that all the servants you once knew were dead.
The war, you started to notice, had been crueler than the previous. So many deaths, so many changes. Jaehyun himself had an older look on his face, even though a certain new joy was keeping it alight.
His eyes sparkled in content whenever he saw you at the manor, where you were expected since the day of your wedding. He had the servants prepare your favorite foods. Had gotten the most beautiful lilies to decorate your room — your, not his, not yours, as you insisted on sleeping alone. Even before your marriage, he had built you a temple at the manor, a broad and dark room with an altar for your saints, with all the materials you needed for your rituals and magic, and the temple was at your full disposal. You spent most of your time there, and quickly opened the temple to the public, so people could come in and be healed by your talented hands.
It brought you tremendous joy to help those souls, so much your days were filled with work. Which meant Jaehyun’s dinner invitations were politely refused. You kept a collected composure in front of him, even if it hurt as much as having a needle pushed inside your eyeball.
Deep inside, you were tremendously scared of your feelings. Both you and Jaehyun knew it.
The only further interaction you had was about how much progress he had with creating Peace. All the times you had asked, Jaehyun simply said he was working on it. Just like that, your conversations were over.
It was a rainy day outside when you started your day, making your prayers and opening the temple. Everything was made by your own hands, so no servants helped you around. Usually, a line was formed into the manor’s main hall, and you came to personally pick your patients and take them inside. That day, as thunder echoed in the sky, and violent rain hit the ceiling, you came to find out there was no one to attend.
“Oh, that’s sad,” you breathed, turning around to return to your refuge when you bumped into a very familiar chest.
The expression on Jaehyun’s face explained why the weather was so bad.
Eventually, when Koschei was not able to control his own emotions, the weather in Buyan could feel it. Sunny days meant a visceral happiness that made his face smiley; springy weather meant he was especially romantic, with his head on the clouds and his heart where his brain should be; and heavy rainy days meant he was frustrated and angry, sad and way too deep into his defense mechanism.
“Dear saints, you’re going to make it snow!” you brought your hand to your heart.
“You’re being mean to me. I am hurt,” Jaehyun admitted, his lower lip nearly jumping out in a pout. Cute.
“Not my problem,” you lifted your shoulders quickly, passing him by. Jaehyun started following you. “What are you doing?” you asked without turning around.
“I’m heading to my appointment.”
“I don’t think you are. I’m busy today.”
“Well, I am a soul too. I deserve healing,” Jaehyun retorted. “Even if my wife wishes to torture me forever in the name of revenge.”
His childish, spoiled tone almost made you laugh. You knew better than to make fun of him, though. Plus, you were not proud to make him suffer. You just preferred he got hurt than allowing yourself such pain again.
Sincerity was surely one of your biggest qualities. And a defect too, depending on the situation.
After a deep sigh, you agreed with a nod. “Fine.”
Jaehyun had not been in your temple since you started working there, simply because you really had been busy and because you didn’t give him the friendliest of looks whenever he came to check on you. So, when he first walked inside, his lovely jawline dropped a little.
Every priestess and priest had the freedom to decide what gods and saints they were going to worship. You had decorated your altar with their images and elements that somehow represented their power: two small and crossed wood hammers for Ṣàngó, a beautifully crafted bronze mirror for Ọ̀ṣun, a dark seashell for Yemọja and cowries for Èsù, the Lord of Discipline, Communication and Order. Candles burned for them all the time, as you closely committed to lighting up new ones when the old have blown out. Incense burned too, filling the air with the scent of black surinam cherries. Fresh flowers brightened up the dark altar with vivid colors. The atmosphere was dense but friendly, full of mystery between the cold stone walls.
There was a simple table with two chairs on each of its sides, reserved for the appointments. You signaled for Jaehyun to sit on one chair, taking the other in front of him.
“I think I’ve got a severe spiritual problem,” he announced, so dramatic it amused you.
You hummed in reply, lighting up a cinnamon incense with a lighter, moving it around Jaehyun’s sides before placing it in a set of small stones you kept on the table. Next, you grabbed the set of your favorite and most loyal gypsy cards. “I’ll check what the oracle tells me.”
Your hands worked on spreading fourteen cards so smoothly it felt as though you spent your entire life doing that.
Jaehyun observed quietly, noticing how your hand seemed empty without your wedding ring. He still wore his, not even taking it off when he slept.
You turned the cards around slowly, analyzing the entire context they were telling you. For the sake of suspense, it took a while for you to speak. “I don’t see anything spiritual. You’re probably too powerful for ghosts or any type of enemy to try something on you. But you do have a heartache.”
“How can I solve it?” His voice came out impatient.
You puckered your lips in thought. Everything related to Jaehyun’s heart involved his feelings for you, and there was no way to speak about it without taking the entire context in consideration. “I see you might be frustrated because you’re being denied. Perhaps you’re not used to disappointment, but,” you pointed at the book card, “it is the perfect opportunity to use your repertory and learn.”
Jaehyun crossed his arms. You pretended not to notice his biceps slightly bulking within his shirt. “I am trying, but the more you deny me, the more I find it difficult to deal with what we have become. I understand you’re upset, and I respect your opinion. You know I would have kept you by my side if I could. But I did what I thought best to keep you safe. I won the war. For you.”
You believed it: Jaehyun fighting battle after battle, motivated by the idea of going back to you… For that, your heart melted.
“I know, as much as I know your love for me is real. I hope you understand I still have true feelings for you just as I did back then,” you mustered all of your maturity to evoke those words. “But I need to get over how powerless you made me feel.”
“I thought there was no space in love for power,” Jaehyun frowned.
“You still had power over me, didn’t you?” your tone was a lot calmer now. That was not a confrontation, but simply a statement of how things went. “My main issue is that I could not choose. You interfered directly into my free will, and I will not tolerate that in marriage. If I am your wife, then let me have the same choices you do.”
His eyes analyzed you closely. “That would make you tremendously powerful.”
“I don’t seek to be powerful, I seek to be equal.”
Your gazes burned in orange flames, heated by how he just got what you meant. Jaehyun always did.
“What do the cards recommend I do?”
You placed your finger on the mountain card. “Your journey might be long and rough, but you have to push yourself towards your goal.”
“So I should continue to be unconditionally faithful to my wife. Let her aspire to all the things she desires. Learn how to deal with my frustration alone, as I make sure she can trust me,” he perfectly wrapped up.
“Those are my conditions,” you nodded.
Jaehyun extended his hand over to you. “Deal.”
Accepting his hand in yours came naturally, the feeling of his skin extremely familiar, the little shivers of your touch making you squeeze his hand a little tighter than needed.
“Can I ask for something in return?” he asked.
“You can.”
“Have dinner with me.”
“If we openly discuss how you’re making progress with my request on peace, I might.”
Jaehyun nearly chuckled. “Have dinner with me everyday.”
“Will you update me everyday?”
“I will.”
“Deal,” you smiled.
At the sight, Jaehyun brought one hand to his face, flustered as he rubbed his cheeks. “You still have the most beautiful smile.”
A ray of sunshine walked through the window right on your deck of cards. It wasn’t raining anymore.
-
Jaehyun’s hand eagerly slid from your breasts up to your neck as you lied down on his bed. Hungrily, his eyes fed from the gorgeous shape of your body, the innocent white lace bra you wore alluring him into his deepest fantasies.
“You have the most beautiful breasts,” he grunted. “So round and firm and beautiful…”
“You speak like it’s the first time you see them,” you teased, your cheeks and the tip of your nose warm from arousal.
Ever since you decided to stay, Jaehyun loved on you passionately almost every day. He never allowed anything to go missing. By now, after intense weeks of love making, you had grown accustomed to his dedication, and how your body resembled a volcano every time he touched you.
“Not my fault you are so scandalously sublime,” Jaehyun bit his lip before pushing your bra aside, exposing your nipples. He dove in, warm tongue drawing slow circles around each, eventually brushing and biting the hard peaks. When he lifted his face, the cold air left shivers on the wet evidence of where his mouth had been. He easily got rid of your bra, freeing your round, perky breasts, so deliciously voluptuous and busty his mouth salivated. “Have I told you how I made women?”
“Not yet.” You rested your head on the pillow, admiring his bare chest. The defined muscles on his shoulders, arms, and abdomen turned his bareness so attractive to you your toes curled whenever he was naked.
“I created a woman before I created a man,” Jaehyun revealed, moving to pull your skirts down your legs. He kissed the big scar on your right knee, the one you were graced with after falling from a tree when you were only a little girl. “I knew I had to make something unique, intense, intelligent and breathtaking. It was how I wanted life to be at first. Understanding but full of rage, resting but full of ideas, lovely but with the highest ability to deprivation.”
You engaged in his words, sitting down to hover over him. The tips of your fingers caressed his chest in random moves until your hand moved along his trousers, where the volume of his erection was evident. You were turned on too, your white panties transparent where your pussy lips damped with scented juices. “So you made them alluring,” you guessed.
“So fucking tempting,” Jaehyun’s eyes darkened as he watched you. “With a heart to love, tits to bear milk, a womb to carry children…” as he spoke, his hands traveled on said parts, exploring you fervently. “Hips and ass… Those I made for my personal delight,” he admitted, shamelessly enjoying how his hands roamed up and down your cheeks.
“No wonder…” teasing, you pulled his pants down, now rubbing your clothed core on his bare member.
Jaehyun snaked his arm on your waist and effortlessly turned you around. As he now hovered over you, the Lord of Life grabbed the side of your panties. “But my most favorite thing…” he continued, pulling the last piece of fabric down your legs. You were so wet your juices stuck to the bottom of your panties in a crystal string, “is right here.”
Your cunt was perfect. Big puffy lips that glistened with arousal surrounding a clit swollen in expectation. Folds so inviting his cock ached at the mere sight. Your lips also hid a tiny little hole that felt so right and tight around his cock, as though Jaehyun had personally made it to fit his proportions.
You registered the famine in his eyes. And it made you tremble.
“You did so good,” you praised him, brushing his black hair rewardingly. Every person had preferences that made them weak at the knees. Jaehyun, you figured, liked being praised. One of your hands slid down your body and separated your lips to help him have both a better access and view to your cunt.
At your every little action, Jaehyun fell harder for you.
“What did you intend by making this?” you fed the conversation with your curiosity, tip of your finger brushing your clit.
He responded by giving a broad and firm lick to your clit, making you moan in sweet pleasure. You were lucky enough to see how his tongue moved on you, his plump lips wrapping around your clit and sucking.
“Fuck” you cursed, back arching on the mattress where he had been fucking you out of your mind for the last three weeks.
Jaehyun smirked, slurping on your soaking folds. He took his time, alternating the long sucks with gentle licks, repeating them countless times until you were breathing fast, grabbing the sheets and getting flustered at the needy sound of your affected voice.
To him, you were perfect from head to toe. All the extension of your skin so soft and smooth, every mark and scar composing the excellence of your being. You even had the proportions he liked, curvy and fertile. By now, Jaehyun had had you in different positions that allowed him nearly pornographic sights, and he was crazy for each one of them. Now, especially, he liked how your face contorted in pleasure, and how your hand held on his nape as he devoured you.
“The most beautiful I’ve fucked.” His nose brushed your vulva, taking your scent in deep. The signs of your orgasm were pretty clear: your hands clenched into fists, your hole pulsating in vibrations, your ever sober eyes lusty, almost unable to focus…
He could easily make you cum like that, but Jaehyun decided he wanted to prolong the fun. He leaned over you, lips finding yours in a slow and sensual pace, shivering at the needy touch of your hands and nails on his back. You kissed back hungrily — a kiss broken by a wanton moan as you felt the tip of his cock rub your entrance.
“Say I can, my lady,” Jaehyun searched for consent.
You locked eyes with him, once more witnessing how the world resumed to only the both of you. “Jaehyun…” you breathed his name, just because you loved it. “Take me.”
The room was filled with a melodic combination of moans — yours, high and sensual; his, guttural and relieved — as your bodies became one. Your walls wrapped around him, suffocating his girth and clenching so sweetly Jaehyun saw stars at the back of his skull when his eyes closed shut for only a moment, because not to look at you would be the most unforgiving of sins. His hips rolled in a way he got deeper inside you, testing the waters not to hurt you, his most precious being. Your nails carved crescent moons on his shoulders, your mind blurred with desire, barely registering the devoted kisses Jaehyun planed on your shoulderblades as he started a loving, thrusting pace between your legs.
“S-so full,” you sighed in approval. "You make me so full."
“If I knew you’d feel this good, I would have fucking stolen you,” he grunted in your ear, speeding up the pace. “Would have broken into your temple and made your gods witness my love for you… Would have fucked you until you became a saint yourself…”
As twisted as that sounded, you liked it. There was no judgment between the both of you. With lewd, obscene eyes on his, you smirked. “I bet they’re watching now. Why don’t you show them how much you love me?”
Fuck. He did. So deep and fast your hand had to reach for the luxurious headboard to steady yourself against it. Instinctively, Jaehyun placed one hand on the back of your head so you wouldn’t hit it, pushing his girthy member in and out of you with such expertise your breasts bounced right at his face, your sweet pliable body giving in so beautifully Koschei the Deathless could crown you his queen. Seeking to make you feel good, he reached low, rubbing circles on your little clit as his abdomen tensed with the strength of his hips.
“You’re so fertile,” he returned the praise, his breath fast and wanton. “So perfect to breed, my love… I wanna fill you up with my seed.”
You came with a loud cry, that to Jaehyun sounded like an angel singing, your cunt gushing with juices that mixed with his seed. He couldn’t hold it back once you so eagerly gave yourself to him, lost in bliss and cock, your tempting little body trembling into his hold, features so lovely the Lord of Life felt as though he knew nothing about beauty.
When the Lord of Life came inside you, you felt as though the entirety of the world belonged to your womb. Like you carried every possibility of creation in your belly, too fucked out to properly think, only able to smile as you took in the freckles on his face, the foxy shape of his eyes, and the expressiveness of his frowned eyebrows as you gave him one last squeeze.
You never forgot how genuinely happy those days and nights were, how your tender hands played with his hair as Jaehyun listened to your heartbeat.
Those weeks with you were the closest he felt to peace.
-
“I see some sort of spiritual obsession related to her past life,” you announced to the mother whose child waited outside the room. It was your last appointment of the day, and even though you were tired, you tried to be welcoming when breaking such news. “That’s why she’s been having frequent nightmares.”
The mother looked at you with confused blue eyes. “I don’t understand…”
“Some spirits continue to feel the anger they felt in life, after they made the passage through the realms of Death. They become slaves to their own emotions, and might haunt the living until they decide to heal their own pain. I detected a spirit that is angry with your daughter, and it is highly probable that it is giving her nightmares.”
“How do you know that?”
“A priestess never works alone. A spiritual friend told me.”
“A spiritual friend?”
“Yes. I work with souls that decided not to reincarnate, and instead watch over us, guiding our journey.”
“That’s unusual,” her tone was skeptical. You did not blame her.
“In the immortal realm, indeed, but quite common in the mortal realm, if you’d like to know. I bet on the low level of soul acknowledgment.”
“I thought the Lady of Reincarnation and Chances took care of that.”
“Her job is to keep the wheel, not to teach on how to solve spiritual problems, although I admit that would make the world a much more lovely place.”
“What should I do, then?”
“Give your daughter a rue and camomile bath,” you picked up a bit of said herbs and handed it over to her. “I see you’re still skeptical about my methods, but I recommend you come back with her tomorrow. I’ll make contact with one of my friends and open a ritual to weaken the obsession. You will be here at all times, with your daughter. She won’t feel any pain.”
The mother was still unsure, but considering when you opened the door for her to leave. Much to your surprise, Jaehyun was outside with the little girl, clad in black clothing, singing her a song as she clapped her hands.
“My Lord,” the mother respectfully bent.
“Please, that’s not necessary,” Koschei spoke, smiling. He had always loved children. “I was having fun with this smart one,” he hummed, letting the girl jump from his thigh and join her mother. “I hope to see you again soon.”
The mother nodded weakly, keeping her gaze low as she intertwined her daughter’s hand in hers. “Thank you, my Lady. My Lord,” she bowed once again before heading outside, carrying her daughter with her. The lovely girl waved you goodbye.
Jaehyun then turned to you. “What was the diagnosis?”
“Heavy spiritual obsession related to reincarnation.”
“Ouch,” he hissed. “Who will you be calling?”
“Granny Isobel,” you informed. Granny Isobel was one of your closest spiritual guides. Her image was of an ancient black woman, sitting on a low bench and smoking a pipe. Besides from knowing a bunch of complex magics to disassociate spiritual obsessions, her personality was the kindest, the most humble, and even angry spirits got calmer in her presence.
“I love Granny Isobel,” Jaehyun cooed.
He knew the majority of your spiritual guides. You had told him everything when you were still working during the war. Back then, it wasn’t rare to call your guides when you needed extra assistance. They were always working by your side, and sometimes through you. Each of them had unique personalities and skills. They were your spiritual family.
“And I love Gravedigger, and Mary of Roses, and our dear, clever Little Bee…” Jaehyun continued, making you chuckle.
“You’re so flattering.”
“I’m genuine,” he assured, keeping his hands behind his back in a way he looked like a gentleman. “I came to personally escort you to dinner.”
Anxious, you noticed.
“Let me finish my prayers and we can go.”
After you did as you said, you closed the temple’s door, accepting Jaehyun’s arm and letting him guide you through the familiar manor.
“I have dreamed of this day,” he admitted.
“You’ve dreamed about having dinner with me?”
“As your husband?” He tilted his head towards you. “Definitely.”
So had you. Countless times.
Soon, you arrived at the corridor that led to Jaehyun’s office, where you usually had dinner. To your surprise, Jaehyun turned left and not right, pulling you to his side. “We’re not having dinner at the office anymore,” he calmly explained, leading you to the door that anticipated the garden.
Your eyes shone at the splendid sight: the delicate round lights hanging above the table for two, the white lilies breathing perfume through the night, the modest table setting made just for the both of you. Nothing too luxurious, nothing too much. Just a simple dinner outside, to enjoy the stars and the fresh nightly air that caressed your heated cheeks.
“This is beautiful,” you hummed in approval, sitting on the chair Jaehyun pulled for you.
“That’s how I wanted our nights to be after our honeymoon,” he admitted, taking the seat in front of you. His wedding ring shone brighter under the lights. “I know we didn’t have one, but we can. Anytime, any day.”
He was so flirty, so true and so damn smitten you could have smashed his cheeks in your hands and kissed him hard.
“I’ll think about it,” you breathed, intentionally eyeing the table. The growl in your stomach was heard at the smell of freshly baked bread, butter, meat and vegetables.
Some small talk proceeded as you served the food and ate, enjoying the captivating, sweet atmosphere of your encounter, as bees landed on the lilies and cicadas sang in the distance. Life. Everything was so full of life, again.
“I’ve been thinking about your peace proposal,” Jaehyun broke it to you.
“What have you decided?”
“Not much, I admit. Creating a new Lord or Lady is a complex thing, even more in the dynamics we are used to. Peace should be about controlling violence, and we’re too used to how violence tastes.”
“I agree. It has to be someone above life and death.”
“See? Complex.”
“Achievable?”
“In a way, yes. I’m still considering the possibilities.”
“Wanna share?”
“You’ll know eventually. I don’t wish to scare you now.”
“Few things scare me, Koschei.”
The name made Jaehyun’s eyes clench. He hated being called Koschei when you knew his layers a lot deeper, intimately.
“Love, as much as you’re dear to me, I must remind you that you’re not familiar with the dangerous limits between life and death.”
You hummed almost inaudibly, munching on some bread. “I don’t disagree.”
“Good girl,” a smirk blossomed on his kissable lips, just for the sake of fun, and for the sake of fun, too, you decided to tease him back while slicing the bread.
“If I remember correctly, sweet boy, I was not the one who liked being praised,” you noted, eyes sparkling with devilry.”
The way Jaehyun’s hand stilled on the fork had you smiling widely. It was impossible resisting how amazing you felt that you had such an effect on him. The hard swallow of his throat didn’t go unnoticed.
“I suggest you stop teasing me if you have no intentions of ending up on my bed tonight,” his warning was a delectable, adorable mix of danger and fluster that only made you chuckle in amusement. Jaehyun hardened his gaze. “You would not be laughing if you knew how I’ve suffered for the past two years. My hand is nothing compared to your warmth.”
You shouldn’t like it so much when he openly expressed his needs like that, but you still did and there was nothing to do about that.
“Sounds like you think you suffered exclusively,” you analyzed.
“Not what I meant,” Jaehyun took a sip of wine. “But good to know I was not alone.”
Oh, if he only knew. If your lovely husband was aware of the battles you fought against your own body in his absence, with hands whose control didn’t seem to belong to your own mind…
“We both suffered enough, I guess,” you brought a bit of sobriety to the dialogue. You still needed reassurance.
Jaehyun acquiesced, stealing the bread you had just sliced.
“By the way,” he grinned, “Mark and Vasilisa will be reincarnated tomorrow. I’ll make sure to tell you where, so you’re the first to know.”
The news lit up your face, your heart calm and content. They deserved a second chance.
“Thank you, Jaehyun. That means a lot to me.”
Jaehyun. Not Koschei.
-
“Your death… Did you really hide it?”
Your question echoed in the room’s darkness, so silent Jaehyun was able to listen to your heartbeat, as his ear rested on your bare chest, your hand gently caressing his hair.
“Yes,” was his forthright answer. “I hid it inside a needle, which is in an egg, which is in a duck, which is in a black hound, which is in an iron chest, which is buried under an oak tree, in the island we are at now.”
The amburana scent made company to your many thoughts as you hummed, tilting your head to look into his eyes.
“Do you regret it? Making yourself Deathless?”
Jaehyun turned his head, now supporting his chin above your breasts. His hand started drawing random patterns on your left hip, like he was testing your softness at the tip of his fingers. The same fingers who just had explored every inch of you.
“I don’t. Deathless is what I am,” he murmured.
“Doesn’t it mean that you’re destined to watch people die time after time? It must be hard…”
“It is,” he agreed. “I admit I’ve been thinking more about it now that I have you.”
His confession felt like he was carved in your heart like bullets in the flesh, like stars in the clear sky. “Time is passing for you, but it’s stopped for me” Jaehyun caressed your cheek with the back of his hand. “One day, eventually, you’ll get old…”
“You don’t have to think about that now, love” you interfered, because you, yourself, did not want to face the truth.
“If I don’t, then there will come the day you’re gone, and I’ll be suddenly on my own again.” His eyes were filled with tenderness as he uttered every word. Gently, Jaehyun grabbed your hands in his, intertwining your fingers. “I’ll love you until you’re old and need my aid in walking…”
“Why are you saying those things?” you chuckled, wishing both to laugh and cry.
“Because I have to be ready to breathe Life into you after Death takes you away. I can have you reincarnated. Then, I’ll just have to patiently wait a few years until you’re grown enough to be courted.”
The intensity of what he was telling you made your heart skip a beat. What Jaehyun was proposing was living through the thorns of time and pain to be with you, keeping his love for you alive until your last days, and waiting until you were available for his love and care. It overwhelmed you so deeply your eyes watered, and you moved quickly to hide your face in the pillow.
“Don’t,” he chuckled, grabbing your chin lovingly.
“You’re making me cry!” you protested, closing your eyes.
“Silly girl,” Jaehyun sighed, replacing his hand with his lips in an attempt to ease you. “Allow yourself to feel. Love is a beautiful thing.”
“You’re promising me an eternity of love… What if I get so old and senile you won’t ever try going after me again? What if our love wears out?” You placed your insecurities in your mouth.
Jaehyun’s kiss turned into a sudden, slightly painful punishment bite in your lower lip. You opened your mouth to confront him, but he kissed you hard, passionately, hovering over you, his body pressing yours, his scent in your lungs, his hardness against your soaked folds… What he said next echoed in your bones like an earthquake, shaking your every fiber before you melted in his arms once again, like you were always going to. “If that day ever comes, then I’ll be truly dead.”
-
The mother returned with her daughter: their sessions kept you occupied for most of your time, as Granny Isobel demanded. Obsessions demanded more than simply communicating with a guide: you had to incorporate the spirits so they could use your body — it was nothing like a possession, as you were conscious at all moments, sharing your mind with the guides you were so devoted to.
After five sessions, Granny Isobel had it all solved, and the girl could go back home to sleep peacefully.
Jaehyun had asked the mother if he could observe the rituals, and with her approval, he stood inside the temple watching you work. It was truly amazing, how your entire face changed after Granny had arrived, and how you sounded like someone else as Granny smoked her pipe.
When the last session was over, Jaehyun approached her.
“Granny, is there anything else you need? A cup of coffee? Another smoking pipe?” he politely checked, bending to be on your eye level.
“Thank you, my child. I’ve had enough,” Granny replied with a gentle smile that made your eyes tiny under the straw hat. She always called others ‘child’, and Koschei the Deathless was not an exception. “I only wished to talk to you in private.”
“Sure, what is it you want to talk about?”
Speaking as another spirit was in your head was an arduous thing to explain. It felt as though someone else put the words in your brain so you could pronounce them. So, when Granny spoke, you wondered what she meant:
“You’ve been worrying your head over bad news, and I wanted to tell you to share the weight, child. Tell my girl about what’s making you lose your sleep.”
You stood there, in your body, without having a single idea of what Granny Isobel knew. Still, the immediate recognition in Jaehyun’s face told you that he did. “Alright, Granny,” he nodded. “Thank you for your advice..”
“Not at all, my child. You can call me anytime. Granny is always here to help her children.” In slow, trembling movements, Granny removed the hat from your head and placed it on Jaehyun’s. She took a last puff on her pipe and then allowed your head to be still, intertwining your hands and closing your eyes. After long breaths, you noticed the control over your fingers, the saliva in your mouth, your free toes touching the stone ground. Your eyes opened, taking in the worried face in front of you.
“What is it?” was your natural, obvious question.
Jaehyun breathed, removing the hat from his head. “I have to show you something.”
Twenty minutes later, you were on a horse as Jaehyun rode, his chest to your back, to the mortal realm. Magic once again made the passage smooth and almost imperceptible, but you swiftly sensed the difference.
Jaehyun took you to a foreign country with beautiful landscapes. He rode until you reached a bounteous city, where people excitedly talked and interacted over barracks of food, fabric, souvenirs and witchcraft. As you passed them by, Jaehyun held your hand, guiding you through the feverish crowd until you arrived at a square where a middle-aged man dressed in red made a speech so ardent spit escaped from his mouth. Even if the language sounded completely strange to your ears, you understood he was angry and greedy. People around you agreed with him — mostly men, shaking their heads in agreement.
At the middle of his speech, the man pointed to a table where a young boy, dressed as a soldier, waited for new recruits.
You squeezed Jaehyun’s hand, your saliva suddenly too hard to swallow. “Jae, they’re-”
“Preparing for war,” Jaehyun nodded somberly.
You stood back to witness how quickly a line was formed in front of the table, how eagerly men filled their information on paper, how young boys joined their fathers, and how children looked at the future soldiers with adoration widening their pupils. Some even pretended to be carrying guns and shooting around.
There was nothing you and Jaehyun could do about them, as free-will had always been something holy, even to the Lords and the Ladies. You looked around, your gaze ending up on Jaehyun’s grave face. The frown in his complexion turned his apprehension in.
“What now?” you asked.
“Let’s go back,” he decided. “I don’t want others listening.”
The ride back to Buyan seemed to go by slower than the other way around, or maybe it was just your heart’s anxiety. How long until the Lord of Death was knocking on the manor’s door? How long until he striked first, and murdered the servants? How long until he got to you?
You shook those sinister questions away for as long as you could, following Jaehyun inside the manor, up to his office, close to bouncing on your feet out of concern.
It was hard for Jaehyun to face you and speak, to finally share something both occult within his shadows and faithful to his nature. But you deserved to know. You deserved to understand.
Jaehyun circled the table, looking at the maps of the immortal realm before speaking.
“It starts by affecting me,” he confessed. “Whenever humans, made by my own doing, fight, I feel. I sense their despair, their anger, their urgency for revenge and destruction. It cuts me so deep as though a knife is carved in my chest, and the more I try to ignore it, the more I bleed,” as he spoke, both Jaehyun and Koschei the Deathless poured their truths to you. “My only power is to create and take care of life, and when war breaks, the need of survival forces me to act. Therefore, the war starts with me, Y/N. I strike first.”
You held his gaze, then took a step forward, and another one. “Have you started feeling anything already?” you demanded.
“Anger. Just a shot.”
“Do you think it will happen again? For real?”
His smile was sad. “It always does, Y/N.”
Shit.
You reached for Jaehyun’s hands, bringing them to your lips. At that moment, you thanked Granny Isobel for seeing through him, for encouraging him to tell you.
“You have to create Peace, Jae,” a severe seriousness was found in both your voice and eyes.
“It’s compl-”
“I know, but it has to be done. You must come up with something that eases your pain when humans fight. You’re not in control of their actions, but you’re in control of yours. If you strike first, the immortal realm is in danger.”
“It still won’t keep Yuta from striking if he has a chance,” he murmured, and you sensed some hesitation in his tone, as if Jaehyun feared your creative brain.
“Use something he is scared of. Something Yuta cherishes so much he will refuse to fight. Tell me,” you lowered your hands, “what does Death fear?”
The silence between you seemed to last hours before Jaehyun spoke again. You were so smart. Too smart for your own good.
“He fears having nothing to fight against. Death fears the lack of life.”
The knowledge left a bitter taste on your tongue. “So Yuta fears your death,” you concluded.
A small, harmless nod, confirmed your theory.
“You were right when you said peace should be above all things. By controlling my death, they will have power over me, and over Yuta.” Never before had you witnessed such a strong glare on Jaehyun’s eyes. Never before such sinister sincerity had clouded his lovely irises.
And even before he said it, you got it. You immediately understood what made the creation of peace so complicated.
“I’ll show you where I hid it, and then you’ll possess my death,” Jaehyun smiled confidently, brushing one hair strand behind your ear. “After it is done, you can be her. You can be the Lady of Peace.”
-
Breathlessly, his hands dug into the humid, cold earth as the night sky glowled with red lightning. The duck was still alive, moving inside the black hound, her long ears up inside the heavy iron chest.
It was Koschei, alone, at the beginning of times, hiding his death.
Because of his loneliness, he breathed life into a deadly brother. Because of life, he was always going to fight him. But Koschei himself could not be killed, as his death meant the end of every kind of life, the eternal termination of humanity itself. And so he dug.
-
The night was dark as if crafted by the solitude of an angel; the cicadas sang their monotony and it echoed through the endless Buyan trees. Jaehyun had you by the hand, confidently walking among the forest shadows, as moonlight only peeked through the few empty holes in the treetops.
“That was not what I asked for,” you breathed so hard it resembled an angry bull, your nostrils swollen. Becoming a Lady, someone with holy powers and immortality, was not on your list, and the mere idea that you would have Jaehyun’s death in your hands, to own him… It overwhelmed you in ways you couldn’t define as inviting or just fucking terrifying. “I can’t- Jaehyun, I can’t be a Lady-”
He laughed your refusal off, canine teeth sharp against his lower lip when he looked over his shoulder. “You’re perfect for the role, sweetheart. I would never hand my death to anyone else.”
It was his docility against your rage.
You finally arrived at a stream in which clear water musically flowed down small rocks, and a few stony, muddy steps took to an old oak tree, with branches so tortured by time and circumstance they were wry.
Rebel goosebumps assaulted your skin, delating the mystery hidden under the heavy, old earth.
“Let’s suppose Death strikes against you, and I have to keep you from fighting back. What if you fail? Will I have to…” The following words felt like a crime, so you did not pronounce them.
“Kill me?” Jaehyun dared, frowning playfully as he stood in front of you. “It won’t come to that, love.”
“How can you be so sure?” you demanded.
“Because of you. You’ll have the ability of peace: it will be anywhere with you. That’s what Ladies and Lords do. Baba Yaga, she controls luck: wherever she is, luck is with her. Why do you think I sent her to protect you? Plus,” your husband hummed, caressing your lower lip with his thumb, “the least thing that would make you is a helpless wife. You’ll be an equal.”
“I’ll be powerful,” you retorted. Jaehyun’s proposal amused and frightened you symmetrically. He was offering you more than just peace. Jaehyun was offering Himself, as the myth promised. You felt the need to remind him: “Only someone who possesses Koschei’s hound can have him in their power.”
As the oak tree top danced freely to the wind, moonlight slid in and reflected the tender, calm brown shade in his eyes.
“Only power can make us equal,” Jaehyun kissed your forehead, arms wrapping around you in a comforting hug. His chest to yours soothed your urge to protest, and you allowed yourself to focus on the simple task of breathing his scent in. “This will satisfy you more than you think, Y/N. And if you believe you’ll be ready to be my wife after that, I’ll be waiting in body and soul.”
Silenced by your own ignorance, you came face to face with the consequences of your desires, clutching to Jaehyun’s embrace not to fall. He trusted you like that, to be the one holding the only thing that could risk not only his life, but the life of everything that existed.
Gently, you parted from his arms, gazing both the sincerity and vulnerability in his eyes. Only power could make you equal.
A slow nod came from your face, and at that Jaehyun grinned. Then, he started digging up, hands dirty with mud, reaching lower and lower until his digits came across the iron chest. He opened it with a key he kept secret in his coat. Inside, you glimpsed a black hound with the longest ears, with eyes as brown as Koschei’s. You returned to the manor with the hound following you closely.
-
Everyone knew Koschei breathed life into the first humans, as he did to the first trees, mountains, seas, and the animals that inhabited the earth. On the other hand, even if the story was familiar, passed from generation to generation, from parents to children, no one had ever witnessed how it was done. How life was created.
Part of you rationally expected Jaehyun to take you to his office, where he spent restless nights scheming war strategies and daydreaming about possibilities. Much to your surprise, he took you to your bedroom. Not his bedroom, not yours, but the room that once belonged to the both of you. Where you made love for the first time. Where you felt the most loved, adored, worshiped.
Jaehyun closed the door and approached you slowly. The hound stood calmly by your side, blinking her eyes without a worry in the world. “She’s been trained to only obey her master,” the Lord of Life’s grave voice caressed the skin of your ear, making you notice exactly how close he stood. Daring and determined, his hands landed on your hips. “She will do anything you want.”
Inside the hound, a duck breathed. Inside the duck, there was an egg, and inside the egg, there was a needle. You could already feel it. The power. And once again, magic never failed to impress you, because it was nothing like you imagined. Everytime you pictured someone powerful, your imagination created images of virility and strength; crowns and servants; realms and governments. But what you now felt was a calm so intricate within your bones nothing could disturb it, a root tangled in the end of the world with its eyes closed in great superiority, as though all problems had a solution.
You felt complete, filled up, unbothered. Soothing.
Suddenly, the hound moved to rest on the armchair by the window, where the curtains swayed with the cool night breeze. You let her be. She was not going to run away from you.
“From this day on, you will always feel her,” Jaehyun murmured, unable to resist the urge to pull your hair from your neck and gently lean over, intoxicated by the ever lovely spring you brought to his lungs. “She’s yours to take care of now.”
You breathed solemnly, your body euphoric, the tip of your fingers numb in sweet expectation.
“How do you do it, Jaehyun?”
He knew exactly what you referred to.
Effortlessly, Jaehyun turned you to him with a swift move of his hands. You had been avoiding your proximity for so long, torturing yourself for weeks, too driven by your stubbornness, only to melt into his arms.
“With a kiss,” he answered, each word punctuated slowly and delicate against the skin of your neck. The sniff Jaehyun took made you tremble. He straightened himself, purposefully looking into your eyes. “But for you, my wife, and only for you, we can do it differently. I can breed life into you.”
You moaned. A low, barely there moan that betrayed you and your untrained instincts.
Fuck.
Quickly, you cleared your throat. “That’s a drastic change I have yet to consider,” you hurried yourself in explaining, looking away to the window in fear desire would take the lead and betray your reasoning.
Jaehyun took a deep breath.
“You’re still mad at me,” he concluded. The way he sounded disappointed made you frown.
“I haven’t, but now that you sound so frustrated, I might. What were you expecting, that I immediately accepted your proposal?” Your voice grew in anger the more you spoke. “Did you bring me here to fuck me and get it done?”
“No!” Jaehyun immediately defended himself, although there was guilt in his eyes. “It’s not like you’re putting in.”
You hummed in disdain.
Jaehyun protested. “I thought this was what you wanted!”
“Jaehyun, I am human! Whatever you thought I wanted is not such a sudden change that will make me live young and long like you gods do!” You could rub your temples, as a headache started growing. “Please, give me time to process things.”
You noticed how the thoughts ran through his head, and how quickly he accepted the idea of taking it easy on you, so when he offered you his arms, you stepped closer. Comforting, his embrace soothed your worries as quickly as a blow in a candle.
“I’m sorry, love. I genuinely thought it was what your heart desired.”
“It’s fine,” you rested your cheek on his chest, gaze crossing the hound’s. “I just need time.”
-
The hound followed you around like a magnet. Wherever you were, she followed religiously, her distant gaze always on what you were doing, as though she had fully understood who her true guardian would be. To say she was always around would imply in admitting the hound spent her time with you in the temple, hidden by the table not to call any attention as people were allowed in and you worked normally. Or so you liked to think, because sincerely, you couldn’t stop thinking about Jaehyun’s proposal.
Your mind was in a constant spiral towards whether you were going to accept it or not, and the consequences. It got to a point where you caught yourself staring into the hound’s eyes time and time again, losing the track of time and space.
A sudden knock on the door made your shoulders jump. You were not expecting anyone, but opened nonetheless.
“Granny!” You cheered at the sight of the old woman with the usual non-pleased look on her face.
“You know I hate it when you call me that,” Baba Yaga walked in without further ceremony, her pointy nose crossing the door before the rest of her body did. She took a careful look around, smelling the room as if to analyze it. “I see you got your temple. Are you finally happy?”
“Yes,” you nodded, making the old witch glare at you.
“But not fully. Why haven’t you accepted Papa Koschei’s offer yet?”
You clenched an eyebrow at her. “Did he send you?”
“No, selfish girl,” she growled, circling the temple until she stopped near the altar. “I came because the luck of the world is about to change. For the first time, we can witness a plain state of peace. No more terrible wars. Wars, as you’re familiar, are unlucky things. You only had what to eat and where to shield because I was there, paying my endless doubt to Koschei, but the rest of the world didn’t have such a blessing. With you as Lady of Peace, I will have to work twice as hard, and I must prepare.”
“So you came to make sure I accept Jaehyun’s offer?”
“You have to,” Baba Yaga simply replied.
“It’s a lot to consider, granny…”
Her cat eyes could have cut you in two like a sharp knife. “Why demand power if you can’t take it, child?” she hissed. “You have the upper hand: you’re finally able to make a choice and bring peace to others. Why hesitate?”
You decided to be sincere. “I guess it’s because I never thought I was going to be the one in charge. The one providing peace. Jaehyun’s offer challenges me. If I accept it, everything will change, even my human nature.”
“It’s not that different, trust me.”
Penetrating, your eyes scanned her. “Have you been human?”
“Human, homeless, broken, abandoned,” Baba Yaga breathed, but her words did not hold any pain or misfortune. “It was a kiss from a young man who saved me.”
Jaehyun.
She kept talking: “You can still be surrounded by humans if you’d like. Eat their food, listen to their music, and help them. In fact, child, you’ll be more of use to humanity if you become something else than human. It has always been like that.”
“The audacity and the nerve of the gods,” playfully, you rolled your eyes. “That’s what I am truly scared of.”
“War is about to start and you’re making everyone lose their time, stupid girl,” Baba Yaga advised. “After everything Papa Koschei has done for you… He won the war, brought you back and offered you a new life, a life full of peace and riches, with endless flavors, and here you are, thinking about it!” she spat, about to open her mouth again, certainly to put you to shame, when the hound walked away from the table, making her eyes widen in surprise. “Oh, my! Is it…?”
You only nodded, petting the top of the hound’s head.
-
The smell of black coffee filled the kitchen in the first morning hours when the explosions shook the ground. Baba Yaga stared at the open window, taking in the details of the ceilings, the beautiful clear, bluest sky, and the absolutely lack of birds. If she closed her eyes, she would be able to see the shotguns and bayonets, the blood running from the uniforms, the broken men wandering the fields, walking towards their death.
Even if she wasn’t human anymore, Baba Yaga despised the inhumanity of war. Her old heart ached when she put her feet outside and saw children all dirty and starving, young mothers with babies in their laps considering selling their bodies for money, and crippled men who returned all fucked up, unsure of how to deal with the pain and the haunting memories. The old witch hated what Koschei had done to her, sending her to the mortal realm to witness the terrible things people did to each other, but her loyalty knew no limits, and so she stayed.
You came into the kitchen all startled. Having woken up with the grave noises outside, you jumped from the bed with a swollen face and your hair all messed up, eyes red from how much you had been silently crying in your room at night.
“Is it t-them? Are the soldiers coming?” you stuttered, taking a look at the same window Baba Yaga had been staring at for long minutes.
“Yes, but don’t you worry,” she responded as though war was nothing but a storm. Heavy and temporary. “They’re not getting to this street.”
You tilted your face to hers. “What do you mean, granny?”
It was so simple you would never believe it, how easily Baba Yaga managed Luck. It took one move of her wrinkled hand for the entire army to ignore there was a certain street, in which lived a young beautiful lady, with a very old woman. There were so many things you didn’t understand, things it was not the time for you to know, so Baba Yaga simply moved her hand and lifted her shoulders.
“Just a guess.”
-
If war was coming, you kept a careful note to watch over Jaehyun.
You did not quite understand how his emotions shifted, but the first sign was as clear as water: his company was as pleasant as ever, but Jaehyun often looked at a specific, invisible spot on the wall and disappeared into his own thoughts, hands clenched into fists on the table. He looked so distant even after he assured you everything was fine, because he didn’t want to influence your decision by showing you how he had already started being affected. Still, you thought it was a bad moment to tell him you had finally made your decision.
You came across the second sign one night, as you and the hound stopped at a very unusual sight: Jaehyun, sat at the stairs to your shared bedroom, sobbing lowly.
“What’s wrong, Jae?” you sat in front of him, your tone worried and assisting as you patted his shaking shoulders.
He lifted his expressive eyes, and by the surprise in them, he had not heard you approaching. “I suddenly felt emotional.”
“What a terrible liar,” you gently wiped his tears with your thumbs. “Is it the war? Has it started?”
He nodded. “I can feel the loss. Mothers crying all day, girls and boys losing their childhood, lovers that won’t ever return...”
Your gaze lowered in time to capture your hand intertwining with his. Slowly, you brought it to your mouth, placing a kiss at the back of it. It amazed him, how you weren’t Lady of Peace, but managed to calm his mind and heart effortlessly with a single touch.
When you spoke again, your tone was definitive. “I’ve made my decision.”
Jaehyun swallowed, suddenly nervous by the determination in your voice. Mercifully, you didn’t wait for him to ask what your decision was, pronouncing every word clearly. “I accept your proposal.”
The only times you had watched Jaehyun’s face light up with such delight was when he asked for your hand in marriage and when he saw you in your impeccable wedding dress. As if in slow motion, his eyes squinted slightly, his cheeks raised, and the soft wrinkles at the corners of his eyes matched the sweet smile blooming in his lips. And just like that, looking very similar to a boy in front of a candy factory, he hugged you.
“Thank you!” Jaehyun poured his gratitude in his voice, pulling you to him with his arms around your neck. “Thank you, my love, for making my life better! For being you, my lovely wife…” He cried and reached for your face, kissing your forehead, then the space between your eyebrows, your nose — oh, he loved your nose —, your cheeks, your chin, and all the way up to your forehead again.
You smiled, amused by another side of the man that created the entirety of the world. It stopped your breath, how much of a loved child he became when he was happy.
“I’ll prepare everything slowly, so you don’t need to hurry,” Jaehyun pulled away, but continued to cup your face, so holy to him. “We can do it tomorrow, in a week or whenever you want. One kiss and it will be done.”
You squeezed your eyes, trying not to smirk. “I beg your pardon, husband, but you promised me way more than a kiss.”
Your words had an instant effect. Jaehyun was not like a boy anymore, as his eyes widened with clouds of lust.
“Would you like that?” he searched for consent. “Being bred?”
“Yes.”
“Have me fill you up, make you drip with my seed, make you my Lady?”
A shiver ran down your belly, warm where it landed. Your pride, which took you two years to build, was nothing compared to the absolute bliss of being once again desired by him, the man you freely gave your heart to. Your pride could never top the realization that Jaehyun, in the solemn act of gifting you his death, trusted you entirely, and you were going to assure, love and care for him. At that moment, even if you tried gathering every little attempt to resist him, it was going to be in vain, because pride was nothing compared to love.
“Yes, my love” you grinned adorably before pressing a peck to his lips, breathing in the manly scent of amburana. “Now.”
As quick and determined as your request, Jaehyun grabbed your hand and took you inside the room. You didn’t have the time to register the orange intensity of the flames in the fireplace, the flowers on the bedside tables — small details Jaehyun arranged last minute, with a breath in the world, to set up the mood. The only thing you could focus on was his desireful eyes after he pushed you flush to him, making you lightheaded with arousal.
Your chests heaved in unison while his hands slid to the strings of your dress. Skilled, long hands that had your thighs clenching in sweet anticipation. The sensation of your breasts inside the loosened fabric nearly made you squirm. To help, you untangled yourself from the sleeves and moved your hips to pull the skirt down to your feet, along with your undies, standing beautifully naked in front of your husband, your heart skipping several beats as he eyed you with so much need it made him look drunk, as if he was consuming you.
The force in which your lips smashed could not be described.
Only now, with his velvety lips on yours, you understood how badly you had missed Jaehyun. How flavorless life had been when he was not around, how incomplete the days were without his love and his arms to hold you.
He lifted you up, allowing you to snake your legs around his waist, while your tongues danced sensually, moans colliding in the lovely mess of lips and saliva. Then, he placed you on the mattress, taking a look at your body in a way it felt like he was committing your image to his memory for eternity.
“You have no idea how I’ve missed you,” he growled, with a line of crystal water flooding his eyes, before burying his face in your chest, kissing your voluminous breasts.
Eagerly, your hands removed his coat and unbuttoned his shirt, touching every inch of skin exposed. “I’ve missed you just the same,” you confessed, cheeks flushing with pleasure at the long sucks of his mouth on your nipples.
Driven by need, Jaehyun proceeded to take off his pants himself while his mouth continued its worship on your tits. The flex of his muscles was divine to you, his broad shoulders perfect for the delicacy of your hands, his hips tailor-made to fit between the warmth of your legs. There was no way you could resist how your gaze fixated on his lower body, heated by what you saw.
“You’re so huge…” You had almost forgotten, the praise making your husband bite his lower lip.
“You can take it. Gotta make sure you’re wet and ready, wife” Jaehyun kissed your jawline, now using his hands to explore your skin. He was a slave to your perfectly crafted body, its godly curves, divine folds, small and strategically located moles he knew by heart. For your body alone he would be on his knees begging, lips devoted to every inch of your skin, and the lovely way you responded to him driving him all kinds of insane.
“I want to take it slow,” he swiftly spread your thighs. The visceral grunt that left his lips at the sight of your soaked entrance reverberated on your bones.
“We have time,” you grinned, lowering your hand to your folds and running two digits against the warm, velvety juices, only to smear them on Jaehyun’s lower lip. “We have all night to make a baby.”
With a growl, Jaehyun’s hands were on the back of your knees, keeping your thighs separated, which meant you were fully spread and exposed for him. He leaned towards your cunt, readily using his wet and hot tongue on you. You moaned his name like both a curse and a prayer.
“Missed this beautiful pussy so much,” he whispered. “My gorgeous girl, my lovely priestess… I’m going to ruin you.”
Shit. You had never been so turned on, dripping right at his tongue. Jaehyun ate you out so well, tongue circling your clit, alternating long and broad licks with quicker ones.
“You’re such a dream,” you complimented breathly, back arching at the slurp on your swollen clit. “I love you so much, Jaehyun. Gonna breed me good, pump me full of c-“ a high-pitched moan cut you off when he sucked on your clit, the heated, sinful sensations between your legs so good you squirted a little.
“Holy shit,” he cursed, only more determined to make you cum in his mouth. “That’s it, baby. Let go.” It didn’t surprise you that his slender finger slid inside you so easily, considering how wet you were. Jaehyun expertly combined the long suction of his mouth with sharp pumps of his fingers, massaging a sensitive spot inside you that made your thighs shake. You came hard and long, closing your eyes shut as your sweet body convulsed.
When you opened your eyes, you noticed the bed was wet, and Jaehyun’s chin dripped with crystal squirt.
You had to touch him.
In no time, you were on your knees with your hands wrapped around his cock, pumping him tortuously firm and slow. Your heart fluttered, because Jaehyun looked at you as if you had personally put the stars in the sky, when you both knew who blew the glow in them in the first place. The way he looked at you… It was just healing, making you feel like the most alluring woman in the world.
“Please,” he begged, balls tense with how much cum he had for you. Your dainty hands on him had always been too much for his sanity to take. “Please, let me in.”
Mercifully, you aligned his cock with your entrance and swiftly took all of his girth at once. The burning stretch, after so long, pulled a pornographic moan out of your throat, one that mixed with the grave groan Jaehyun let out. Your eyes locked with pleasure before you lifted your hips and sank down on him again, aware of how tight your walls gripped his length, like a vice.
“I love you,” Jaehyun threw his head back with a hiss, exposing his neck for your lips. As you kissed him there, his calloused hands grabbed your hips in adoration, helping the firm pace you set. “I love you madly, my dear, my wife- so pretty bouncing on my cock, ready to be filled.”
You thrived on the praise, speeding your hips and drinking from the bliss on his face. “I’m yours, Jae,” your foreheads touched, lips brushing in passion. “I’m yours, my husband.”
Jaehyun was easily the luckiest man alive, graced with such words combined to the tightness of your heavenly walls. The image of you on top of him, calling him husband, the scent of your arousal soaking the bed, your lovely breasts bouncing, the spasms of your cunt nearly milking him dry… It was all driving him crazy to breed you full and not let any drip of cum escape.
Impulsively, he rolled your bodies on the bed and lifted your hips before he was pounding you hard and fast, your calves resting above his shoulders as he reached deep inside, repeatedly hitting your cervix. You took the chance to admire him, aroused by how his muscles clenched, black hair falling onto his forehead, his beautiful face contorted in the pleasure of taking you to himself. The position also allowed a constant friction against your clit, and you could already feel another orgasm lurking.
“You’ll be mine forever,” Jaehyun grinned with delight, keeping your legs against his chest as his hips met yours. Differently from all the times you had sex before, you sensed he was deeper this time, as though his own cells mixed with yours, as if you shared the same blood… Like he was making you fertile, full of life. “My Lady of Peace, above everything, above everyone. Mine to love, mine to rule me..”
You nodded, absolutely in love with how it sounded. You were so lucky, so damn lucky it was hard to believe. A needy moan escaped your mouth right into his when his cock reached all the right places. You tensed, closing your eyes as the pleasure grew beyond measure.
“Eyes on me,” Jaehyun commanded, and you obeyed, taking every thrust as your body rocked underneath his. “I want you to look at me when I breed life into you.”
It felt so desperately good, so out of any world and realm, that you sank your nails in the skin of his shoulders, a victim of how your pussy clenched and pulsated around his cock until you were cumming hard, trembling, holding his gaze as yours faltered, full of ecstasy and pleasure.
The alluring sight of your orgasm edged Jaehyun on, and you thanked that your eyes were open, blessed with the image of your husband cumming inside you: with pupils so blown out his irises were almost black, a furrow in his lovely brows, and a moan so deep in his throat your own orgasm lasted a little longer, squirting juices mixing with thick, pearly seed that coated your cunt.
You remained tied with each other, your forehead on his shoulder and one of his arms supporting your weight, until your breaths calmed down and the aftershocks smoothened. There was nothing but happiness in your eyes, nothing but fulfillment as you laughed, high on love. Buried in your warmth, Jaehyun took his time feeling you, caressing your face with the back of his hand with shooting stars in his eyes. He had waited so long for the day where he could be with you like that, silent on a bed, just taking in every detail of your face — and now, not only you were where he’d dreamed of, but you were his Lady: someone who possessed his death as much as his life, someone that belonged to eternity as every other Lord and Lady he had created.
No words were needed. You just had to enjoy every second, allowing yourselves to be allured, to surrender to the love you were promised to. And to give into the peace that started flourishing in your chest like a white lily.
-
It was past noon when your eyes opened. Your body woke up slowly, muscles growing aware of small aches left by love making, that unconsciously spread your lips in a blooming smile. Stretching on the mattress, you got aware of the toned arms on your waist, and the heavy breath on your neck.
Much to your delight, the face you landed your eyes on belonged to the only person you ever wished to share your mornings with. Jaehyun slept peacefully, with a glimpse of satisfaction on his undisturbed complexion. It made you smile, how happy he seemed, how gentle and warm his aura was while you caressed his face, brushing his hair back.
Shortly after, he opened his eyes, immediately surrendering to a wide smile. “Am I dreaming?” your husband hummed in a sleepy tone.
“Not this time,” you nested yourself in his bare chest. “I’m right here.”
“Yes,” he cheered lowly and secured the grip of his arms around you. “Did my wife sleep well?”
“Perfectly. What about my husband?”
“Better than the Lord of Sleep himself.”
You chuckled together, Jaehyun’s dimples showing up in a sweet display. “Does it mean you feel better?”
“I feel…” Jaehyun chose the right words, “I feel comfortably peaceful.”
You felt it too. A state of calm, quiet and amity: a delicate reflex of the purest easiness.
“So no loss, no rage, no need to strike first?” you asked to make sure.
Jaehyun shook his head. Calm flooded his eyes — you wondered if it had anything to do with you. As if he could read your mind, he grinned, running his hand through your hair. “Even your aura is different now. Clearer. You’ve got a power that belongs to you only, and you’ll learn how to use it. So far, though, you’re doing amazing.”
“I think I have to try with someone else. You’re too smitten not to be influenced by me,” you teased, instantly rewarded with a slap on your ass cheek.
“I’m sure Yuta or Baba Yaga will offer you a much greater challenge.”
Indeed. Tougher minds for you to easy, but you were confident you would manage.
Your side sank slightly on the mattress when Jaehyun reached for the bedside table, where his coat had landed. You watched his hand slip inside the pocket and return with a familiar silver wedding ring on his palm. “Can I put it back?” Jaehyun carefully asked, his tender and big eyes asking for the sweetest of permissions.
A genuine smile blossomed on your lips. You softly lifted your hand, keeping it in place for him to put the ring back on. The metal was warm as though Jaehyun had been wearing it for you. As if his love guarded the ring with flames.
-
My name is Baba Yaga and this story belongs to me, so I will tell it.
Lucky times, those were, when at the dawn of war, men pulled their bayonets down and went back home, to the arms of their parents and loved ones. Graceful days, with once compromised by rage politicians calmly negotiating with their deadly enemies — men, usually so built up in the narrative of rage, became reasonable and easier to deal with. Fewer people died. The world was a tranquil, welcoming place.
They said it was because of a Lady, crafted in serenity, whose kiss soothed the heart of humans and gods. A woman dressed in white, crowned with sunlight, her hair free and wild with the wind, her eyes alluring, and a smile so contagious it reminded people of their own joy. Peace was nothing but a great state of self satisfaction, and the Lady understood it well, working peace with her fingers as spiders weaved webs.
The Lady of Peace had a black hound, people said. They also said that she had Koschei the Deathless eating right from her hand, like a dog. That he stood in front of her on his knees, black hair like a rook's wings on his face, as the Lady of Peace went through her maps, always aware of where she needed to strike first. That Koschei, the Lord of Life, stood as a servant at her disposal, his shadows submitting to her holy light. She had a sharp eye, a sharper mind, and a fatal way to slide into people’s bloodstream with the calmest of touches.
Obviously, the ones who thrived on violent games were against her existence, but the Lady of Peace was not an ordinary opponent: every attempt to fight her was met with sweet carelessness, and soon enough those who tried taking her down moved on with their lives as though they had not been angry in the first place.
“I have never been so bored,” confessed Death once, when I invited him over for tea. “Can’t even do my job properly.”
“Hush,” I spat. “You still have the accidented, the sick and the old. Good thing that ambitious woman let you have them too.”
“Love makes a fool of us all.”
“It does,” I agreed, “but it also brings out the best of us.”
Never before have I had so much work to get done. Luck and peace walked hand in hand, like sisters. If I had to be completely honest, seeing people happy pleased me, so much so that I did not complain about the workload. Perhaps I was more peaceful myself.
Until that day, of course. The day the black hound was stolen.
-
“Magic doesn’t happen when you light a candle simply,” you explained as the attentive eyes of Mark and Vasilisa watched. “You have to activate the flame, using your words and intentions. The spiritual guides are always by your side to help, but you have to do your part and be specific about what you want.”
You had taken Baba Yaga’s advice and accepted both children as your apprentices. Six years had passed from the day you were crowned Lady of Peace, which gave the reincarnated souls — that were so dear to you — time to grow and be able to understand a few principles of magic. What you did was a serious job, and thankfully they were pretty much interested in everything you had to say.
“Can I try?” Mark politely lifted his hand.
With a short nod, you complied. “Sure.”
The little boy gathered his hands in front of his face, palms against each other, and closed his eyes. “Please, Granny Isobel, let us have a good harvest of watermelons so I can eat them everyday for breakfast.”
You had to retain the chuckle on your lips, instead keeping a serious expression.
“Good! Anything else you want, Mark?”
He opened his eyes. “Pudding for dessert.”
“Anything besides food, perhaps?”
“Oh, intelligence. And health.”
“Go ahead, ask granny. What about you, Val?”
Vasilisa hummed, placing the tip of her finger against her lips. “I just wish to grow up and become an independent, strong woman.”
Your heart fluttered. “That’s a very reasonable wish. Go on, make your wish.”
Both children stood in front of white candles, one for each, and made their prayers. Through the silence in the temple, you sensed two different presences: the black hound, always so close if felt as though she was part of you, and your husband, by the door.
“Papa Koschei!” Both Mark and Vasilisa yelled joyously, running to Jaehyun. As if the children weighted nothing, he picked them up on his sides.
God, he was going to make such a lovely father.
“I came in to check how your classes are going. Are you learning a lot?”
“Yes!” Vasilisa replied. “We’re learning to activate candles!”
“And earlier this week, miss Y/N taught us how to summon the light spirits!” Mark added.
“Wow, that’s huge!” Jaehyun praised, brown eyes glowing with content. “I bet you have an amazing teacher.”
“We do!” The kids hummed in unison before they were put down on the ground. Your husband approached you, placing a kiss on your lips. You kissed him back, a grin blooming where your mouths touched.
“Kids, you’re free to go,” you cooed without looking away.
“Any homework, miss?” Mark asked.
“Activate your candles and talk to your spiritual guides. Then tell me what you felt when you did it,” you instructed.
“Got it! Goodbye, miss! Goodbye, Papa Koschei!”
Soon, you and Jaehyun were alone in the temple. “Did I ever tell you…” he started, forming a trail of kisses from your hand to your arm, “that you look absolutely attractive when teaching?”
“In the past year I might have heard that enough to use it as a weapon,” you shamelessly admitted, palming his chest with the hand that was free. Slowly, said hand started slipping lower.
Jaehyun’s breath got caught in his throat, and he had to remind himself to inhale when your hand reached the volume between his legs.
“Your dick seems tight inside your pants,” you noted with a soft whisper. “Poor boy… Do you want relief?”
His fists clenched around the fabric of your skirt. “That’s the only thing in my mind.”
You smiled peacefully. “Just as I thought.”
Minutes later, you were on your knees with one of your hands at the base of his cock, while your mouth sucked him nice and long, as if in a display of how much of him you could swallow. Jaehyun held onto the table, moving his hips only slightly, his pupils wide at the perfect sight of your mouth taking him whole, lush lips brushing the entirety of his length.
“Fuck, you’re so perfect taking my dick like that,” he groaned, lost in your velvet tongue while trying his best to control his hips from going further. “Let me finish inside you, wife.”
That was a request you never felt like saying no, readily sitting at the edge of the table and removing your — ruined — panties. Jaehyun didn’t take long to spread your legs and bury himself in you, his moan making you tremble in awe as his fingers sank in the meat of your thighs.
You loved that position, how destined your bodies were in each deeper encounter, how Jaehyun’s breath caressed your throat, how his black hair lifted a little after you had brushed it back, a demanding hand on his nape as you kissed him hard, so hard your teeth hurt. It was the only type of violence and excitement you allowed yourself: being fucked with love and care, being filled up with seed that ran from your thighs to the floor, taking your husband’s every facade, whether he was Jaehyun or Koschei the Deathless.
You held the moment of your chests pressed together like it was made of glass, offering your husband an open smile after you were done.
He placed a gentle kiss to the tip of your nose, still inside you even when the aftershocks had passed. It was Jaehyun’s favorite place to be. “Look at us, sinning in your temple,” he chuckled.
“I don’t believe in sins,” you retorted sweetly. “I believe in love.” It was not the first time Jaehyun heard you say those words, and he loved the sound of them a little more every time you pronounced them.
“Are you ready for dinner tonight?” he asked.
“To face all the Lords and Ladies you created when bored?” you teased like a cat. “To listen to their complaints on how dull their routines are now that I reign? To once again patiently listen to their proposal of creating a Lord of War?”
“Life is full of contradictions, wife,” Jaehyun cooed, studying your gaze. “My brothers and sisters seek nothing but to be faithful to their nature.”
“As I will be to mine, brother,” you made sure to add, clenching your muscles. Almost instantly, his girth hardened again.
This time, when he looked at you, Jaehyun’s eyes were frank, like life on a deathbed. “Do you understand, right, love? You are smart enough…” he breathed, rubbing his cheek softly against yours, the firmness of his hand on your jawline. “Nothing will ever be permanent. Life has always been about conflict. And you’re part of it now.”
You understood. It just didn’t mean that you agreed with it.
-
I’ll tell you just how it happened.
The Lord of Life and the Lady of Peace threw a dinner party to welcome all the Lords and Ladies, including me. I joined them at the main table, right next to the Lady, and I was proud at how much she had evolved, although I did not say a word. It has always been hard for me to display affection. I did not yet know words of affirmation tasted good on my tongue.
I anticipated something was going to happen, because of the look on Koschei’s face. Life was never permanent, it was never a thin line, and he knew it. But did his wife know? Did she understand after years used to power, after years maintaining the peace?
The hound was stolen during dinner by the Lord of Inconvenience, who fooled the animal with sweet gestures, as Jungwoo himself looked innocent and harmless, causing Papa Koschei’s death to fall into the embrace of a young Lord that only wished to mess up with order.
And once again, with Koschei’s death in the power of such a trickster, the immortal realms face the possibility of war. Not because people were fighting, not because soldiers were being recruited in the front lines at the mortal realms, but because life was a treacherous thing.
The Lady of Peace stood taller than everyone when John the Knight announced the robbery. She had something new with her. Something small, that I sensed too, because I loved her.
-
“I beg you, wife. Let it be,” Jaehyun whispered.
“Get off your knees.” You felt old, perhaps as old as Baba Yaga. A part of you was stolen, violently taken away from you. You loved the hound. You loved Jaehyun’s death as much as you loved his life, and it was your obligation to take care of both.
Jaehyun continued where he was. “Don’t chase the hound,” he insisted. “Don’t try solving things. Don’t bleed for my death. Jungwoo will keep it safe, I know he will. But war may come, and when it does I will build a shelter for you. I will keep you safe and sound. You will never go hungry. You will not suffer. You will not die. Let it be.”
“I refuse,” you replied hoarsely. Now, you had a choice.
“No one can refuse inconvenience.”
“I’ll face it with peace.”
“I wish you meant what you said,” Jaehyun held your gaze, like a needle piercing your heart. “But we both know you’re not peaceful now, wife.” His eyes were soft and welcoming; yours, dark and imperial. “I know,” Jaehyun murmured, romantic eyes slowly sliding from your face to your belly. “I know there is life inside you.”
You could have looked away, but you did not. Of course he knew. The Lord of Life would always be aware of his creations, even more if his child, flesh and bone, grew inside your womb.
“Get off your knees,” you repeated. “I am not a saint for you to kneel.”
As much as you were a saint to him, this time Jaehyun obeyed. He stood way taller than you, his shadow like a cape. At a blink of an eye, you were inside his embrace, inside his destiny, inside his deathless faith. “I love you, Y/N.” A confession so true, a love so genuine, a father speaking to the woman who bore his child. “I love you and I don’t mind where my death is as long as I have you.”
You chuckled dryly and without a drop of humor, ignoring the knot in your throat. “If anyone else but you had my death, would you be in peace?” You asked the most honest, the bloodiest question you were able to muster.
Jaehyun did not think twice before replying. “No.”
You nodded. Now he understood: it didn’t matter what Jaehyun thought Jungwoo would or wouldn’t do with his death. You wouldn’t rest until you had the hound back, because it was the only way to ensure the life of the man that you loved. The man that was, too, the father of your child. And a child deserved to have a full, complete family.
“I love you, Jaehyun,” you closed your eyes, two sister tears running down your cheeks, “and I will get your death back.”
You commanded the servants to prepare your horses. The trip to the realm of Jungwoo would take nearly a whole day, and you had no time to waste.
“Are you sure it’s a good time to ride, my love?” your husband hesitated.
“I am pregnant, not ill,” you spat. Those were exactly the words your grandmother said to the pregnant ladies who walked inside your childhood home, afraid anything they tried would result in losing their babies. You looked over at Jaehyun’s face, and the surprise in it made you quickly apologize. “I didn’t mean to sound that rough.”
“You’re right, though. I am just unused to your rage.”
“So am I,” you admitted. It felt as though something was horribly wrong with you, like a party dress destined for a fox. “When we arrive, let me speak. Don’t interrupt me.”
Jaehyun clenched an eyebrow at you.
“That’s new, isn’t it? Taking my orders,” you simply commented.
“I promised to do so years ago,” Jaehyun spoke just as ordinarily. “A husband is not to confine. A husband is to free. That’s what I said when we got married.”
You gazed at him stunningly, your chest warm where your heart beat.
“I am giving you choices, my Lady,” he continued. “Both because I love and believe you. And also because I am a fool, but I still have my judgment and priorities. Whatever your plan is, all I ask is for you to be careful. If you’re not, I will be. I would already burn the world down for you alone, but now you’re carrying my child. I’ll be as violent as I should.”
Even the conflict between the two of you tasted sweet now.
Jaehyun gave you his hand for you to jump on your horse. You traveled side by side, only stopping for water and a bit of shadow under an apple tree.
Jungwoo’s land was different from everything you had seen so far, filled with a huge diversity of expressions: museums, open antique fairs, circuses and amusement parks; theaters, brothels and taverns so full they seemed like anthills. Every inch of the floor was covered with wine, spit, piss and cum. Not even the weather could decide, as the hottest sun fought against windy storms, causing an enormous rainbow to light up the sky.
The Lord of Inconvenience was already waiting for your arrival, sitting on a throne in his manor, so loud and disorganized as his realm itself, with several crooked paintings on the walls, and a mix of patterns and colors that was too much for the eye. The hound sat by his side, her ears turning to the door when you were announced.
She ran to you immediately, long ears up, her tails wiggling and her wet, cold snout smelling your tummy.
“Brother, sister!” Jungwoo clapped excitedly. Whoever put their eyes on him would never say he was responsible for the trickiest of tricks: the lovely innocence on his face combined to his excellent manners could easily deceive anyone. “You’re twenty minutes late!” he whined.
“Sorry for the inconvenience,” Jaehyun politely stated, making Jungwoo laugh.
“I guess you’re here for your death,” he hummed, indicating the hound with his chin. “Well, there she is. She’s yours.”
You lifted your face, your white cape falling down your shoulders.
“The hound is here indeed, but the rest isn’t,” you observed. The duck, the egg and the needle were missing. You had spent too much time with the hound to know every inch of her.
Jungwoo’s eyes glimmered with adrenaline.
“I genuinely expected to fool you,” he pouted again. “Don’t take it personally, sister. It’s my nature.”
Years ago, you would have blamed him. But now, all you could do was to accept that life had its own ways of expression. Jaehyun had quite an imagination, and you loved him whole: the good and the bad creations equally.
“I can forgive you if you show me where the rest is,” you calmly argumented.
Jungwoo tapped his lower lip with his finger in thought, considering.
“But that would end the fun, wouldn’t it?” he relaxed back on his throne, patting the pad of his bare feet against the ground. “Ah, whatever, you might find out soon!” he leaned over again, putting his hand secretly at the side of his mouth. “It is with Yuta.”
“Yuta?” Jaehyun repeated.
You sensed the Lord of Death as he walked the manor’s hall, his straightforward presence spreading over the room like fire in the forest.
It made sense. Only Death would know how to separate the hound from the rest.
“I told you she was going to know, brother,” he said to Jungwoo. “Now, you owe me some of your citizens.”
Jungwoo rolled his eyes.
Gods.
“What do you want with Jaehyun’s death?” you asked, even though you already knew the answer.
“War,” Yuta was as sincere as he could be. “You had your fair share of peace, and it was dull. Now it is time for some fun.”
“Fun?” you frowned. “Do you still think like that? I see you’re still selfish.”
“Oh, but I am not,” Yuta retorted. “I embrace the ones in pain. I serve glory for young women and men who are nothing, and die defending their countries. I provide a long, endless sleep for the ones who decide life isn’t worth it. I am not the bad guy, Y/N. In fact, we are pretty equal sometimes.”
You did not disagree.
Silence was made before Yuta spoke again. “I have a proposal for you, my Lady. Let’s share the world. Pick up the countries you want and make them peaceful before Life and I carve war their way, then restore the ones we have just ravished.”
“It is fair, sister,” Jungwoo agreed, even if his opinion was not required.
You only glared at them, looking less like a peacemaker and more like a pregnant woman with boiling hormones.
“Come on, that will even please your husband,” Yuta argumented. “Admit it, brother. You miss a good fight, don’t you?”
The sound of Jaehyun’s throat swallowing was like a low agreement.
“War is in my nature too,” Jaehyun admitted, turning his gaze to you, “but I am more than the Lord of Life now. I am her husband.”
I am as cruel and demanding as a god can be, but for you, and only you, I will be your faithful husband.
Both the Lords breathed in frustration. There was little your magic could do now, as nature was superior to influence, instincts spoke louder than wishing. You tried analyzing the options coldly: at every diplomatic suggestion your mind came with, there was a counterpoint.
You could not protect the world only. Now, you had to protect your child too.
“What if I tell you I can’t accept your offer?” you asked, chin firmly up. “What if I tell you to return Koschei’s death to me, and accept the way life is now? That I won’t surrender to tricks and violence?”
“Then,” Yuta breathed, “I will tell you that there are two lovely apprentices playing in the garden in Buyan. Two lovely old souls, trapped in children’s bodies, that I will love to bring to my realm.”
Oh, to be vulnerable.
It hurt so fucking much.
“If we share the world, I want Jaehyun’s death back,” you offered. The sacrifice of many instead of the sacrifice of the few you held dear in your heart.
It was the way of the world.
“Let’s share it. You’ll have the hen, and I will have the egg with the needle in it.”
“I want his death back entirely,” you made yourself clearer now.
Yuta blinked, impervious.
Jaehyun stepped forward. “Brother, my death is mine to give.”
“It is death, and death belongs to me.”
“As your life belongs to me,” Jaehyun hardened his tone. “We will fight again as you’d like, but my death shall not submit to you. I am deathless.”
Yuta, impatient, quick, and sudden, made his final requirement known: “I will give it back to you only if we can fight. Let’s start today.”
You boiled like water in a pan.
When you walked out of Jungwoo’s manor, you and Jaehyun looked at each other knowing a blank space was approaching, one that too quickly assaulted your way back home. The shadows of Death chased you to Buyan. Thankfully, you came back safe. Thankfully, Mark, Vasilisa were all alive when you did. Baba Yaga was already there.
-
“What will you call her?” the Lady of Luck asked.
“Who?” you breathed, with battlefield dust on your face. You were at the manor after a long battle that left you covered in smoke, and with slight cuts on your knuckles. Since it was Jaehyun’s turn to command the army, he stood to realign the strategy, and you came back to rest before you were needed again.
“Your daughter.”
Buyan’s night sky shone in brutal shades of red and gray, as it did when you first arrived. All wars had the same color, hysterical, uncontrollable and passionate. That did not change.
“How do you know it is a girl?”
“Papa Koschei has been lucky. He had always wanted a little girl.”
“It feels so wrong… Thinking about a baby name in the middle of the war.”
“Maybe you need some help sharing your attention between battling and being pregnant,” the old woman cooed. “Even Jaehyun is thinking more about your child than about war strategies.”
“That’s why we are losing,” you concluded, petting the hound’s head gently. Ever since you returned, she did not leave your side for a moment, twice as a protector now that you were pregnant. You even gave her a name. Ravan.
“Wars are not for winning or losing, child. They are for surviving.”
Whatever wars served for, Jaehyun and you were losing. The hiatus carved by your peace was now dirty with the blood Death was so thirsty for, and for the first time Yuta did not battle alone. Inconvenience, Revenge, Justice… They all faced Life with their teeth and nails, claiming the realms with the intemperance of the world’s setting. With Baba Yaga on your side, you were luckier, but luckier did not mean invincible. Mostly, it meant alive.
“Will it always be like that, granny?” you asked lowly. So low Baba Yaga almost didn’t hear you.
“It will.”
Your eyes weighed like a dozen ships when you closed them. Your mouth was so dry it hurt when you spoke. “I think… I think I am getting used to it.”
Naturally, you adapted, discovering how peace fit best in war. How the puzzles came together. You could not keep the soldiers from battling, and much less negotiate with the Lords — your husband included — that thrived as blood flooded the earth. But with you on the battlefields, death and despair felt easier. You soothed the helpless souls, numbing their minds, anesthetizing their bodies and closing their eyes as the limbs of Death cradled their destinies.
It was your fighting style. Meanwhile, the others used real weapons, they aimed and shot straight, in the endless battle between Life and Death.
“Your priorities are changing,” Baba Yaga noted cleverly. “I was young and revolutionary once. Then, I had kids. Then, I got old. Aging makes you smarter, child. You learn that you can not control everything.”
“Oh, there are many things I can’t control,” you chuckled bitterly, placing a hand on your belly. Your child had just started kicking, her moves excited and strong, filled with vitality. “I pity men, granny. I pity women. I mostly pity the children. All I wish is to offer them a little calmness.”
“No one blames you for that. Not even Death.” Baba Yaga got up and, at the rarest of occurrences, placed a motherly kiss on your forehead. “You fought bravely. Now it is your time to flow with the world’s contradictions. Help those you can, but feel more for you and less for others. She needs you, m’Lady.”
You took a breath so long your lungs wouldn’t fit it in, letting it go as if you were also allowing your shoulders to carry no weight at all.
When Baba Yaga turned to leave the room, you hummed. “Nina. We will call her Nina.”
-
“My opinion on war, my child?” Granny Isobel pulled the pipe away from her mouth. “That’s no good thing. No good thing,” she shook her head, face hidden by the quality of the thick, undeniable smoke. “But God, our Good Lord, allowed it. I am not saying that it is acceptable because God made it, but… But people like me can only help in a few ways. I welcome the hurt spirits. Sometimes they still feel the bullet in their eye, the lack of a leg or a thumb, and wonder where their friends are. I think it is no good, child. But there is nothing I can do, because my power is of another kind.”
-
When Jaehyun arrived at the manor, his armor was covered in black blood, his face dirty with dust, his knuckles raw from punching. By the marks of war he carried, and with how often you fought together, you guessed every punch, hit, cut and blow thrown his way, that he defended with his sword. He looked paler under all the mud, a deep tiredness imprinted in his features with the black holes under his eyes.
Without a word, you took him to your room, where you helped him out of the armor. The bathtub had water so hot in it the steam drew random curls in the air, but you did not complain, silently pressed to each other, praying for some magic that would remove the tiredness off of you.
The war was going badly. But when was it not?
“You’re doing so good, my love,” your husband managed to murmur, caressing your round belly with the same hands he used to strangle the shadows. “Bearing our child so well…”
“Just like she’s bearing me.” You rested the back of your head on his shoulder. “I think I get it now. Life is at its highest when it is the closest to death. You like the war, for it is where you feel more like yourself.”
Jaehyun could never lie to you. “I do. Don’t you now, too, just a little?”
You shook your head with a tired grin. “I feel needed. Necessary. I still prefer the calm and the quiet, though. I will fight for peace when my time comes again.”
“I will be right by your side when you do” he hummed in your ear, accepting and open. “I hope it takes a few years, though.”
“Inconvenience is a tough, irritating thing. We can’t have any hope.”
Jaehyun tasted the words in his mouth. His hands roamed on your stomach, down your navel. “What if we could?” He sounded like a new idea flourishing.
“It’s too early to give her an occupation,” you protested reasonably, reaching up to caress his face. “Let her choose, when she’s grown enough: Lady of Hope, of Faith, of Nothing… First, Nina will only be our baby.”
He agreed with a kiss on your shoulder. Taking her part into the conversation, Nina kicked right where his hand was.
“Ouch,” Jaehyun chuckled, enamored as he was whenever his daughter interacted with him, making her presence as loud as her will. “I already agreed with mama, you don’t have to kick me that hard…”
Savoring the moment, you nested closer to him. Through the window, the gust of wind carried the red aroma of blood and rain. “Jae, what did you do with your death?”
Already expecting your question, Jaehyun smiled. “I’ll show you where I hid it.”
-
I made this for you, wife. It is yours to run away whenever you want. I created this land from scratch. The Realm of Peace, where we can reside. Since I know you like company, I allowed others to come inside: children, florists, teachers, the butcher and his wife, and the servants — which we know are not servants only, but souls as complete as ours. You and I are the only ones who can allow them inside, but the final word is yours to give.
Open your eyes, look at it.
Do you like it, wife? The greenest sunflower fields, the deepest, shadowy forests that smell like oak and ambunara trees, the clouds dancing in the sky… What about the village? I made it just for you, colorful and thriving up the cobblestone streets, with temples, churches, libraries, bars and a playground for the children. It is safe and hidden, as you can see.
I keep my death here too, but it is not born yet. You understand, right, wife? Where I hid it.
You’re carrying her on your belly. Nina is my death now, because in both you and her, I feel the most alive.
I remain deathless because my death can only be reached here, and you’re the one with the key. A knife in my chest won’t kill me anywhere else. We are only vulnerable here, wife, where you crafted your peace, your nature.
I created your death, and Nina’s, and I hid them too. Here. Where no one else can reach us. Where even the cobblestones breathe peacefully.
i just fell to my knees and starting sobbing.
this was unbelievably poignant and sublime. your writing is actually amazing like i’m trying to think of things to say but i’m genuinely in shock. when i said that we would be eating good when this dropped, i fear it was an epiphany because this is one of the best jaehyun fics i’ve read
thank you so much for this
also i have another account name Jenohyun so if you see a blog reposting your pieces that’s me 🙂↔️
die with a smile
༯ pairing: soloist!jaehyun x fem!reader
༯ tags/warnings: angst, fluff, smut!, protected sex (reader is on pill), multiple positions & orgasms, kissing/making out, nipple/breast play, oral (f&m receiving), spanking, marking, hair pulling, name calling (good girl), pet names (my love, darling, baby), memory loss, minor drinking, cursing, stranger-to-lovers-to-strangers, car accident/crash, indication of blood, hidden relationship
༯ w.c: 14.3k!
༯ a.n: hi! i’m backs woohoo. this one came to me through hearing bruno mars & lady gaga’s new song “die with a smile” & with the great help of one of my mutals we made it possible! i’m not gonna lie this one was hard because i felt like in order to make it sad enough i had to put myself in that position. nonetheless i hope u all enjoy this one, probably one of my favorite writes. thank u for too for the continuous love and support, i love u all, take care, and stay safe! jiji out 🤍
༯ taglist! @dokyriu 🤍
you hummed the song playing overhead the store speakers as you stood behind the counter, waiting. for the most part, the store was empty, only garnering around 10 people since opening time. you quickly grew bored again, deciding to walk around the store. you fixed some records that were outta place, organized the booth where customers could listen to the records— heck you even swept the place. as you swept the door chimed, a customer. “hello! welcome, please feel free to browse around,” you put on your best employee voice and smile. the individual however didn’t respond, in fact he looked rather suspicious.
he was a tall man, with a black hoodie, face mask, cap, baggy jeans, and some—unusual–shoes. your eyes lingered on him a while longer while he sported straight to the indie records. however your curiosity soon died down, when you remembered you were still on the job.
as you went back to the register, you noticed the man walking towards you. he had a record in hand, you couldn’t make it out just yet until he stood just a couple inches apart. “would this be all?” you asked as he handed you the record.
cigarettes after sex, x’s
before he could even respond you bursted out in excitement. “wow! no way, you’re a fan too!?” if there was one thing about you, it was that you not only adored music in general, but a big fan of cigarettes after sex and their songs.
you kept looking at the man, watching as he brought his mask down. “yeah, i take it you’re one as well by the looks of it,” he says. you’re amazed, with his mask down you notice how attractive the once suspicious man was. not to mention his voice, it was a sweet melody of its own.
you nod shyly, “i’ve been a fan since like, ever.” a small smile touches his lips, “that’s impressive,” he says before taking a brief pause. you noticed as he observed you before asking, “you got any other recommendations?”
before you knew it, you quickly lost yourself in his question and the ones that followed. there wasn’t anything you loved more but to express your love for music, i mean after all this job was the whole reason you applied for it. being in a record store meant being surrounded by music, by your love and admiration. and if there was one thing you learned during your conversation with the man in front of you, it was that you two surprisingly had a lot in common. there were no words to explain how you felt, but you felt drawn to him. looking at it, you probably shouldn’t i mean you still didn’t even know his name!
a laugh came out of him as you blabbered about some crazy experience you had while attending a concert, until a phone started ringing. his phone. he reached for it from his back pocket where he excused himself to answer it.
you rang up his record, waiting for him to return so he could pay. when he did, he apologized for taking up so much of your time. “i-it’s alright, i was in need of a distraction,” you say as you look around the store. “it gets quite lonely here sometimes.”
he takes out a card from his wallet, tapping it on the card reader and when it reads it through, you hand him his record. “i had fun talking, i hope you have a gr-” you had started to bid him goodbye when he interrupted you.
“my names jaehyun. uhm, and if it’s alright can we- can we meet up again sometime?” he asks, noting as his ears turned red. how cute, you thought. also thinking how this was only supposed to be a one-time interaction. however you mind was already set even before you could tell what he was trying to say.
“of course, how about i give you my number so we can keep in touch?” you then proceed to ask. jaehyun nods his head, retrieving his phone and then handing it to you. he looks at you as you typed your number onto his phone, writing your name in the contact.
“my names y/n, y/l/n by the way. i’ll look forward to your call, or message.” jaehyun smiled, putting his phone away and grabbing the record. “i’ll see you then, y/n.”
your heart skipped, at either hearing him say your name or at his dimpled-smile he gave you as he walked out of the store. your eyes lingering on him as he disappeared.
“jaehyun,” you mumble to yourself. his name sounds a bit familiar, but no matter how long you searched you’d neve be able to find out why.
and when you finished your shift, grabbing your stuff from the employee lockers, you looked at your phone. one particular notification capturing you attention, and making your heart skip another beat.
unknown: how does this weekend sound?
you smiled, remembering him again. his smile, his voice, his everything. quickly saving his number, you then replied.
you: it sounds perfect
you: guess i’ll see you this weekend, jaehyun :)
walking out of the store and to your home, you couldn’t help but recount your interaction with him, smiling like a child. oblivious to the change that was about to come into your life.
you sighed, tossing another piece of clothing onto your bed. jaehyun was supposed to come pick you up in a couple of hours and you still couldn’t decide what to wear. you didn’t even know where he was taking you, he refused to tell you. this makes picking out an outfit for a date- wait a moment… was it a date?
you paused to think. he never explicitly said it was, you just sort of assumed it was. oh great… what if this wasn’t even a date and you’re over here trying to dress to the nines.
“ah fuck it,” you curse as you just grab an outfit you’d previously tossed onto your bed. i mean this would be fine right? it wasn’t a date, just two acquaintances meeting up to spark some friendship?
as you did your finishing touches, you glance over at your phone which had just begun to ring. you looked at the caller id, a smile plastered on your face.
“hello?” you hear the deep-dreamy–voice that you couldn’t get out of your head, on the other line.
a beat passes before you realize you have yet to answer. “h-hi!” you stumbled on your words and voice slightly too loud. though you couldn’t see it, your face felt hot with embarrassment.
on the other line a slight chuckle erupts from their throat. “everything alright? you’re not gonna cancel on me are you?” he asks.
“y-yes, sorry about that… just nervous,” you mutter the last words. “that’s a relief then since i’m already outside your home,” he responds.
you felt yourself slightly freeze. jaehyun was outside your home, like right now. when the thought registers in your mind, you quickly fumble, grabbing everything you needed before heading out.
“i’m going out right now,” you say, voice slightly panting at the speed you’re going. something within you didn’t even want to spend a second apart from him, a part of you needed to be in his company again. you couldn’t explain these indescribable feelings, however they didn’t bother you either.
as you make your way outside, you notice a black car parked in front of your home. soon after jaehyun comes out in all his glory. unlike the first time you saw him, he wore a white long-sleeved shirt, green cargo pants, and black shoes. nothing suspicious to the man.
“hey,” he says smiling so hard his dimples pop out. really, really cute, you thought. you fidget your hands before responding with a simple, “hi.”
the atmosphere felt a little awkward, but not uncomfortable. in a way it truly seemed like a date of a newly formed couple. however you squashed such thoughts; it’s not a date and you’re not a couple, you repeated in your head.
“shall we?” jaehyun asks, opening the passenger door. you nod before heading inside. after shutting the door, he makes his way to the driver’s side and begins to drive. plus points for being quite the gentleman, you thought.
the car was silent throughout the ride. in truth, this silence was killing you so you decided to speak up. “you’re not taking me to some place to murder me right?” you light-heartedly joked. you’d hoped it really is just a joke. jaehyun sighed, “you caught me.” you smiled, “well ain’t that too bad, you’ll have to postpone it for another day.”
“are you saying you’ll say yes if i ask to take you out again?” jaehyun says. it was a good thing you had your face to the window because you could’ve sworn your cheeks were pink.
“depends on how today will go,” you respond later. “speaking of which, you still won’t tell me where we’re going right?” you ask, finally gaining the courage to glance at him. to your surprise his eyes were already on yours. that darn red light, you cursed inside your head. a small smile appears on his face, “hm, nope.” he pops the word out as if to tease you.
“you’ll find out soon either way, we’re almost there,” he says, hitting the road again when the light turns green. the chatter between you two doesn’t die down, talking about just anything in the time it takes to arrive at the mysterious location.
looking out you recognized where this was. “a m-movie theater?” you questioned. i mean there was nothing wrong with it but it was definitely not at the top of your list of potential spots.
“i hope you like movies,” he says, unbuckling his seatbelt as he gets ready to get out of the car. following suit, you unbuckle your seatbelt and head out. the theater was quite empty as there weren’t many cars parked. when the two of your began walking you spoke up, “what movie are we watching?”
he faintly smiles, “it’s a surprise.” god, him and his surprises. “you know i think i might be the one to murder you first,” you say, earning you a genuine laugh out of the man. a smile touches your own face at the sound of his laughter, your heart too feeling warm.
you follow him, side-by-side, as you two enter the theater. you watched as jaehyun whips his phone out to present the tickets to the employee up front. when you two made it through he stops to ask, “want anything?” you ponder for a minute, “i guess some popcorn and a drink would be nice.” jaehyun nods before heading off to get the things you asked for. in the meantime, you fished out your wallet.
when he came back with one popcorn, two drinks, and some candy in hand you asked, “how much was it?” you’re not sure if he didn’t hear you or he chose to ignore you, but he began walking to the direction of the theater where the movie was going to be shown.
when you attempt to help him with the drinks, your fingers graze his. in just that small contact you could still feel the burning warmth of him spread throughout you. and of course being the gentleman he was he opened the theater door for you. “t-thank you,” you shyly thanked jaehyun as you stepped into the theater. you briefly waited for him to go inside before you followed him to your seats. located smack dab in the middle was how you found yourself. however curiosity still returned to you, what movie could th- wait, wait, wait.
you glance at jaehyun, only one popcorn. one popcorn and two people. oh god... “u-um, i-is that for the two of us to share?” you asked, hoping it doesn’t rub off the wrong way. “y-yeah, is that alright? i figured this would be most convenient,” jaehyun responded, you noted the slight stumble at the beginning. jaehyun has never once stumbled on his words.
you sink into your seat, god this was making it harder to not think it’s not a date. fortunately, you didn’t have any more time to worry about things as the movie soon started.
a tragic romance.
beautiful was an understatement for the film. you balled your eyes nearly the whole film. two lovers, madly in love until one dies. it might’ve seemed cliche but it was so beautifully written and executed that none of that mattered.
“wherever you go, that’s where i’ll follow.”
the last line the female lead mutters as she places a singular white flower on her lover's grave.
when the ending credits roll around and the lights turn on you suddenly remember you weren’t alone, jaehyun. you whip your head to your side, there he was. he turns his head a moment later. “i’m guessing you enjoyed it by the tears on your face.”
fuck, you forgot to wipe my tears away. you quickly get up from your seat, wiping the tears away talking to jaehyun as he walks behind you. “th-that’s n-not f-fair,” you stuttered on your words as the crying made you unable to talk. “what’s not fair?” he says in a playful tone. “t-taking me to watch a sad romance movie!” you slightly raise your voice as you turn around to face the man who caused these tears.
however your breath was caught. jaehyun only stood a few inches away from you. your eyes widened, face feeling hotter as he inches just a bit closer. you stood there frozen as jaehyun leaned down to your ear. “if i apologize, will you still agree to see me again?” he whispers. jaehyun’s hot breath burning your ear. you could’ve sworn your hearts thumping could be heard throughout the theater.
“we-well th-that’s not- you don’t need to do that… i was just kidding,” you say, your last words sounding more breathless. why, why, why… why were you feeling this way, feeling this way about jaehyun nonetheless?
“that’s a relief then,” jaehyun responds, moving from his spot in front of you to walk outside the movie theater. you stood there for a moment or two later before you rushed to his side again. the burn in your ear neverending.
on the ride back home the car was silent. you were too afraid to speak up, trying to gather your feelings. and before you knew it, you both were outside your home. yet before you could open the door to get out, jaehyun stops you with a call to your name. you turn around, eyes on his. “y-yes?” fuck, the constant stuttering was starting to piss you off. “so what’s your answer, will you go on another date with me?” he asks, so smoothly and calmly it shocks you.
d-date!? wait, so this actually was a date… “uh, uhm, this was a date?” you stupidly asked. jaehyun nods his head, “yes, at least that’s what i thought.”
“i- i tried telling myself it wasn’t…” you admit. “ah, it seems i should’ve made it clear. y/n, i asked you out on a date and i hope you would be open to going on another one with me,” he says so kindly it melts your heart.
god, you’re a fool for him. god, you li…
“i will, i’ll go on as many dates with you until you get tired,” you replied. jaehyun’s dimples popped out when he smiled widely, “you’ll probably be the one who gets tired of me first.” you too are smiling, “well then i hope neither of us ends up tired.”
“i hope so too,” jaehyun says, noting as he brings his hand to the back of your head. with his thumb he caresses your cheek, smiling at you so sweet like a lover does to their most beloved. it stayed like that for a good while before you snapped out of it. he wasn’t your lover… not yet.
“well then, i’ll see you next time. i’ll look forward to where you’ll take me next, just make sure i don’t cry again,” you start bidding him farewell. he retracts his arm, “i’ll keep that in mind. take care y/n,” jaehyun says.
opening the door you get out of the car, but before you leave you decide to give jaehyun a final farewell. “the date was actually really beautiful, i enjoyed it a lot. well then, drive back safely jaehyun,” you said smiling when you see his surprised face. you shut the door however, not letting him get a word in.
walking to the apartment complex’s door, you’re about to open it when you decide to take one final look. jaehyun’s car, unmoved. a small smile taints your face when you use one arm to wave goodbye. you were sure he must’ve seen, though you wished you would’ve seen his reaction.
on the way to your apartment, thoughts of jaehyun and your date today wouldn’t go away. it was the only thing you could think about and the only thing you could look forward to. you missed jaehyun already. it was thoughts like this and others that you finally were able to confirm.
you like jaehyun. The same man you met just a few days ago. no, you’ve been liking him since that day. you weren’t one to believe in that cliche, love-at-first-sight, but that day everything changed. jaehyun was able to do that, bringing you change.
every skip of your heart, every smile, laugh, tear, stutter; everything was a clear indication of your feelings towards jaehyun. and now that you’ve discovered this, you wanted more. you wanted to make jaehyun fall in love with you as well. it doesn’t matter how many dates you’ll have to go on, as long as he’s by your side that’s all that matters.
jaehyun, the man you like- no, love.
it took about a little over a month for you to quickly regret ever liking jaehyun, much less loving the man. thus you’ve spent the day ignoring his calls and messages, your upset and furry being in control for the day.
this all happened yesterday when he took you to the aquarium. there was nothing unusual about this date, well minus the part where he wore a mask and a cap. that was actually the first red flag.
the date was going good, great, superb. however when you were coming back from using the restroom you noticed two girls surrounding jaehyun. you watched as they excitedly talked to the man you were in the middle of date with. from the looks of it they were taking pictures with him before asking for his autograph. ok, red flag two.
a bit more chatter later before they excused themselves, noting the way jaehyun quickly brings up his mask and lowers his cap a little lower. this was your cue to go to him. though when you arrived he acted like nothing had just happened. ok… red flag 3?
fortunately, but unfortunately, the date continued as normal. the two of you exploring the aquarium, looking at the various species of fishes, going under the water bridge, touching stingray, everything.
you even thought maybe he would’ve brought something up on the car ride, but no, nothing. it wasn’t until after you finally reached your home that you decided to take matters into your own hands.
it truly was fascinating just how handy, dandy the internet was. a quick search to the name, jaehyun, and you were presented with just about every fact about the man you’d been seeing.
his name is jeong jaehyun, the same man you love, a celebrity. not just any, a soloist whose album had just come out a month prior to your first meeting with him. the more you scrolled, the more baffled you became because you had to find out his birthday, age, and everything else through the goddamn internet. not through jaehyun, the thought made you sad.
were you not trustworthy? why would he keep such a secret for you so long? was it intentional, or not?
you realized just how different you’re lives were. you a record store employee, he a global star who everyone had their eyes on. it was surprising how no one had discovered the two of you until now. heck, you didn’t even know either. then it clicked, you remembered why his name sounded so familiar. you recounted how some girls just a couple days before your meeting with him were mentioning his name, jaehyun.
and as you laid in bed last night, you couldn’t stop your brain from wandering, presenting various scenarios. what are you gonna do now? continue whatever you two had? end things?
you felt your heart ache a little, since a part deep down inside you didn’t want that. you selfishly still desired the man the world watched, you selfishly loved the man, the star they called jeong jaehyun.
as you continued recounting the events of last night, your doorbell rang. you got up, you weren’t really expecting anyone. however you still went to open it, only to be met with the one person you didn’t want to see.
as you tried shutting the door, you heard his hand bang against the door, stopping it from closing. this man is strong, you thought. succeeding in opening the door again, jaehyun steps in. the more he stepped in, the more steps you took back. neither of you said a word to each other until you almost stumbled. jaehyun quickly reaches for you, stopping you from falling.
what was this? a k-drama? you thought, shooing his arm that was around your waist away. you refused to talk first, so jaehyun did. “is everything alright? you weren’t answering my calls or texts so i thought i’d come over to check if you were still alive,” he says looking straight at you.
you decided it was best to be frank with him, no need to beat around the bush. “i don't know jeong jaehyun, you tell me.”
you note his eyes widen, his lips slightly parting when you said his name. “i- wh- jeong jaehyun?” he says as he stumbles on his words. you roll your eyes, was he really acting dumb right now, you thought.
“yes! you, jeong jaehyun! mr. singer!” you say, practically yelling everything. his mouth opens as if to say something before he shuts it back up again. this was infuriating you, he was infuriating you.
“h- how did you find out?” he decides to ask. “yesterday,” you replied, followed by the recounting of events you saw at aquarium.
“i- i see,” he just says as he turns his head to the floor. “were you planning to keep this from me?” you ask, biting on your lip.
he looks back up, “n-no! no- that wasn’t what i was trying to do.” he gets closer, and when you don’t move back he continues. “that was never my intention, i was going to tell you… though i never found the right opportunity to.”
his face turned soft, almost as if he were pleading with you to believe him. “it’s the truth y/n… please believe me. you know i would never lie to you, you know how hard i’ve been trying to get to know you, to spend time with you.”
“i- i believe you jaehyun but,” you start to say before you pause to find the right words. “you’re a star jaehyun, you and i both know this will not work out. i don’t want to ruin your reputation, your dream you’ve worked so hard to reach.” you felt your eyes begin to blur but you push the tears back. not right now, not in front of him, you thought.
he takes his hands and places them on your cheeks. “n- no y/n, my love… this is why i didn’t want to tell you, i didn’t want this. i didn’t want you like this, i could care less what the world would think about us. all that would matter in the end are my feelings for y-” he stops himself.
my love? my feeling for…? no, you’re lying. this has to be a dream right?
“fuck,” he curses lowly, taking one hand to rub his face. “pretend you didn’t hear that last part, i don’t want to tell you that to you just yet. could you wait a little longer for that?”
you slowly nod your head, “are you sure things would work out? between us?” you question, needing more reassurance before it’s too late to go back. jaehyun looks at you, taking your body into his. he wraps his arms around you, you fit perfectly around him. both of you feeling pleasant with each other's bodies, so warm, so perfect.
“it’ll be more than alright, i’ll make sure of it,” jaehyun says in a tone so reassuring that your worries are instantly washed away in an instant, long forgotten.
you two stay like that for a while, the time seeming to slow down. it was just so warm and comfortable that neither of you wanted to pull away. it was like you two were engulfed in your own worlds. that was until a phone started ringing, causing the warmth to leave you both. jaehyun let’s go of you, just clinging onto your hand as he reaches for his phone.
“it’s my manager,” he whispers. “yo-you should answer it then, i’ll go sit down,” you say but he tells you, it’s fine. you hear a male on the other line, and you were only able to hear him because of how loud he was screaming into jaehyun’s ear. from the looks of it, it seems he was scolding jaehyun for not being at his home so he could pick him up for a schedule.
you glance at jaehyun, the man drove all the way to see you despite having such a busy schedule. the action warmed your heart. you unconsciously, but consciously inched forward, tippy-toeing and placing a kiss on his cheek. the sudden action causing jaehyun to freeze mid-sentence.
“i-i’ll be there soon, bye,” he says, not bothering to wait for his manager to respond before he hangs up. “w-what was that for?” he asks, touching the place where your lips touched. you suddenly felt your face getting warm with embarrassment.
and when you didn’t say anything, jaehyun just smiled, this time he inched towards you. you close your eyes, only to feel his lips touch your forehead. you flutter them open, bringing your hand to touch where his lips touched. however before you could say anything, he started walking to your door.
“our next date, friday. i’ll see you then,” he says, leaving before you could even bid him goodbye. and when the door shuts, your legs give in, falling to the floor. you kissed him, he kissed you. oh god, this has to be a dream!
now than ever before you were wishing a day came sooner. friday. the day your dreams and wishes came true.
friday. the long awaited day. you stood outside your apartment complex, waiting for his car to arrive. this time you were the early one.
you were just too excited for today, too nervous to fall asleep last night. as you thought of the possibilities of today, you notice his car pulling up. a smile spreads across your face.
you begin walking as jaehyun gets out of his car. “you’re early,” jaehyun comments. “and you’re late,” you replied back even though there were still a couple minutes left until your official meet up time.
jaehyun smiles, as his eyes begin to wander your body. noting the way his eyes looked at you, up and down, down and up. and noting the way his tongue darts out to lick his lips, like a predator looking down on its prey.
“you look gorgeous today,” he comments when his lustful state leaves him. unlike the other dates, you dressed fancier as jaehyun recommended you to. so you’re wearing a long white, spaghetti strap silk dress. your heels hidden underneath. not to mention your make-up and hair were also top notch today.
“thank you,” you shyly said, pink adorning your cheeks. “you look handsome as well.” on the other hand, jaehyun abandoned the baggy jeans for some black dress pants and a designer top. his outfit eliciting obscene thoughts to run through your head. god, what if you were the predator…
“thank you, are you ready to go now? i don’t know how much longer i could wait,” he says as he holds your hand to drag you to the passenger seat of his car. “well, i can’t wait either,” you reply, smiling as you sit down.
as he begins to drive, you, like you’ve always done, ask him where he was taking you. however just like the first date, he is insistent on keeping it a surprise, and you know he won’t budge one bit. changing the topic, you ask jaehyun on how his week has gone. in which he talks about a photoshoot he had the other day for a well-known magazine. “i’ll make sure to buy your magazine,” you tease. “oh god, no, no… they’re not very… friendly,” he says as he tries looking for the right word.
you raise a brow at his comment, inquiring him more but he just tells you, “you’ll see.” before you knew it you’d arrived at the date destination. “where are we?” you ask as you look out the window. you were at a house, a big two-story house.
“my home,” he says, getting out of the car. his home?! you thought. “why are we here?” you ask, taking the hand he offered you. “on a date of course,” jaehyun says enthusiastically. “wh-what do you mean?”
“you’ll see,” jaehyun said, smirking as he began to drag you into his home. you very briefly take a look around his home. the vibe befitting of jaehyun, his home almost feeling like your home. you then crash into a hard wall, causing you to wince. however it wasn’t a wall, it was jaehyun’s back. “s-sorry!” you apologized, you were too distracted looking around his home that you didn’t notice he had come to a halt.
he turns around, no distance separating you two. “close your eyes,” he whispers. you obliged, closing them shut. your ears helped map out what was happening. you hear his footsteps going behind you until you feel his hands on both your shoulders. “i got you,” he whispers into your ear, his hot breath distributing throughout your body. jaehyun helps you walk forward, stopping you and you feel his hands disappear, his footsteps getting further away.
you call him, “j-jaehyun?”
“open your eyes, my love,” you hear him yell.
you begin to open your eyes slowly, your breath stopping as you take in the view in front of you. dimly lit lights scattered around the middle of his yard, with cushions and a small table in the middle with all sorts of foods and beverages. to others it might’ve seemed simple, but to you it meant everything.
you descend the steps until your feet touch the grass. no wonder he asked me to dress nicely, you thought. when you reach jaehyun, he takes your hand to walk you to your seat. you sit down on your cushion, watching as jaehyun walks to his.
“so, do you like it?” jaehyun says, a hint of nervousness evident in his tone. “like it? i love it!” you replied excitedly. jaehyun lets out a relieved sigh, his hand going on top of yours as his thumb caresses it gently. “that’s a relief, i spent all day trying to perfect it,” he says. you smile, “you did an excellent job, jae.”
“j-jae?” he asks. you nod, “you’re nickname, you don’t like it?” “n-no! i do, just caught me by surprise is all,” he continues as he smiles widely. “want something to drink?” he then asks. when you nod he then asks, “would you like some wine, or something else?”
“hmm, i’ll take you up on the wine,” you respond. his hand lets go of yours, to get the wine as he tries to open it and pour it in both glasses. “cheers,” you raise your glass, clinking with jaehyun’s. the taste of the wine was smooth, you liked it.
as you two continued downing the wine, the talk continued. making each other laugh and smile, enjoying each other's company. “are you hungry?” he asks mid-conversation. “a little,” you reply. “i got us some take out from this italian restaurant, i hope you like it,” he says as he serves you the food.
you take a bite of the pasta, moaning in delight. “it’s delicious,” you say, stuffing yourself in more pasta. jaehyun smiles, watching you enjoy yourself with the food. just looking at you made him full. however the noises you were making… that elicited explicit images across his mind. he felt his pants tighten.
“jaehyun?” you call out for him when he seems to zone out. “y-yes,” he says, coughing. “are you not going to eat?” you ask as you note he doesn’t have food on his plate. he shakes his head, “too nervous to eat, help yourself.”
oh and you do, the food being the most delicious italian food you’d ever tried. when no more could be eaten, jaehyun takes your hand again. “can you follow me for a moment,” he asks, almost hesitant and nervous. “yes, of course.”
both of you get up, hand in hand as you follow him. you walk a couple of steps before he stops. turning to face you, he grabs both your hands. now you’re nervous.
“y/n,” he calls your name, softly. “yes, jae?” the anticipation killing you. he squeezes your hands, “i love you.” your heart stops.
“i’ve loved you since the first time we met. and every moment we’ve spent since then has been the greatest gift to my life, you are my greatest gift. there isn’t a moment where i don’t think about you, desire you, love you. it’s gotten to the point where i can’t handle it anymore,” jaehyun confesses.
you’re at a loss of words, speechless at the words coming out of his mouth. your vision blurs, “i-i love you too,” you weakly say as tears begin streaming down your face. he lets go of your hands to bring his to wipe your tears away. his heart melts at the sight, you’re just too beautiful, too perfect for him. how could he ever let you go?
“y/n… wherever you go, that’s where i’ll follow. i’ma love you every night like it’s the last night. if the world was ending, i’d wanna be next to you. and if our time on earth was through, i’d wanna hold you for a while, and die with a smile.”
his words only made you cry all the more. you lunged on him, arms wrapping around him as you cried. he whispers to you so gently, so softly, “my love, will you be my girlfriend?”
you clutched him tighter, “yes! i’ll be your girlfriend, i’ll be your everything and anything. just as you’ve helped me, i want to do the same for you. i love you, i love you jaehyun.”
jaehyun too hugged you tighter, “i love you more, and i promise to protect you from now on… i’ll shield you from those who hurt you.” he lets go to get ahold of your face, cupping it. “after all my love, you’re the woman i fell for.”
you melt at his words, tippy-toeing on your feet as you wrap your arms around his neck. you didn’t need to think twice before your lips found themselves on his. what was supposed to just be a delicate and gentle kiss evolved into something deeper, intense, and passionate.
jaehyun’s hands held you as if to not let go. his lips molding into yours so perfectly, you’ve never felt this way about a kiss before. however before it could get even more heated, he departs. both of you panting, eyes lustful, hungry.
“let’s go inside,” jaehyun says breathlessly, picking you up so easily. your legs wrapping around his waist as he carried you inside and onto the second floor.
⋆⁺✧˚ · .₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆₊˚ෆ
in a blink of an eye, you’d made it into jaehyun's room and onto his bed with your dress, heels, panties, and bra scattered somewhere inside. you two, too eager, began tearing each other's clothes off, craving for one another.
his hands couldn’t resist your curves, your soft skin. “you’re even more beautiful underneath,” jaehyun comments as he traces random patterns on your stomach. your legs closed, but your cunt needy. “you gonna be a good girl and let me touch you?” he asks in a low, deep voice. his hands coming to your knees, his lips kissing your legs.
“open up for me, my love,” he says as he looks up at you whilst he kisses your leg. this was so hot, you couldn’t resist. you slowly open your legs, your aching cunt coming into full display. you watch as jaehyun’s eyes get darker, something washing over him. he tugs on your thighs, pulling you closer. your breath hitched as you felt his fingers ghost around your pussy, you clenched around nothing.
“p-please,” you whimper, not being able to take this any longer. jaehyun’s eyes landing on you, “please what darling?” he asks as if to test you. “yo-your fingers… please put them… in-inside,” you shyly asked, pleading to feel him finally touch you where you most needed it.
jaehyun smirks, finding you so fucking adorable as you begged him to practically finger-fuck you. he reaches over, smashing his lips onto yours. you tasted so delicious, already becoming so addicted to you. however you had no time to focus on the kiss as you felt his fingers teasingly stroke your pussy. you moan into his mouth when his thumb rubbed on your clit.
his lips leave yours, making their way down. biting, sucking, kissing, and licking all the way from your jaw to the valley of your breast. trailing his lips to one of your tits, he sucks around your nipple, tongue flickering as he bites down. it wasn’t until he marked your tit up before he moved to the other one, repeating his actions. all the while you tried to keep your voice down by biting roughly onto your bottom lip.
“it’s alright darling, let your voice out. there ain’t no one here besides you and me, and you best believe i wanna hear my name coming out of that sweet mouth of yours,” he says before departing from your tit with a pop. satisfied seeing the marks on your tits, he moves his head to where his fingers continue to tease you.
he watches your face twist when his fingers finally enter you. two digits, inside you fitting so snug around your gummy walls. “well would you look at that,” jaehyun groans, taking his fingers out. “look at how wet you are just from some kissing and tit sucking.” you watch him, eyes-on-eyes, as he brings those two fingers to his mouth. he eats your essence off his fingers, groaning in satisfaction at your taste.
“you taste so sweet, so delicious i could eat you all night- no, all my life long.” once he feels he’s gotten every drop of you off his fingers he shoves them back inside you. the sudden intrusion, shocking you that you arch your back. he scissors his fingers inside you, trying to open your tight cunt up but to no use. you still clench around his fingers, the pleasure fulfilling. he reaches you so deep as he fucks his fingers into you, trying to learn and find your pleasure points. you became a map, one he must find his way around in order to find the prized treasure.
“s-so deep!” you yell out when you feel his fingers grasp at your g-spot. he’s got you now, increasing his pace as he continues hitting that spot. your pussy’s squelching noises echoing throughout the room along with your moans. feeling yourself grow closer to coming, your walls clench around his fingers that weren’t stopping their ruthless fucking. adding his other thumb into the mix, he shoved it into your mouth. “suck,” he says roughly and a bit impatiently.
your eyes look at him, as you sucked on his thumb and swirled your tongue around it. a low curse leaves his lips as he takes his thumb out of your mouth to bring it to your clit. using the wet thumb to freely rub against your clit, sometimes bringing his other finger into the mix so he could pinch the bud.
“f-fuck, y-yes! just- just like that j-jae, ye-yes baby~” you moan, the pleasure consuming you, so close to bringing you crumbling down.
“cum on my fingers my love, i know you could do it, i feel you,” jaehyun says, trying to get his words to send you tipping over the edge. and god does it work, you came hard around his hand, arching your back and rolling your eyes til you almost saw white. nonetheless jaehyun didn’t stop, continuing to fuck his fingers in knuckles deep into your pussy. the over-stimulation, erupting smaller orgasms from you.
“s-so good,” you breathlessly say when he finally stops. his fingers coming back to his mouth where he licked his fingers, swirling his tongue around. jaehyun truly couldn’t get enough of the taste of you. “you’re so good,” he says, bringing his lips onto yours again. you can faintly taste yourself on his lips as he kisses you. his tongue, wanting to enter in which you let it. heatedly kissing, you find yourself beginning to grind against his boxers. you feel the hard, thick cock against your wet cunt.
“w-want you,” you say in between the kiss. jaehyun halts, “me or my cock?” you stay quiet, not knowing what to say. “b-both,” you decide on truthfully answering. jaehyun smirks at this response, leaning back and getting off the bed. you sit up, watching the man as he takes his boxers off. your mouth falling slightly open, nearly drooling at the sight.
he was big, girthy, and aching. you note the residue of pre-cum coming out of his red tip. “don’t stare too much, it’ll be yours soon,” jaehyun says as he comes back onto the bed. your breath hitches when he’s only a couple inches away. he slides his cock between your folds, rubbing himself on you, gathering your juices around his cock.
“i forgot to buy condoms, so we’ll just need to do this for now-” jaehyun explains before you interrupt him. “i-it’s fi-fine! i-i’m on the pill,” you say, getting rather shy at the end.
“shit, i swear you're going to be the death of me,” jaehyun says before grabbing onto his cock. his tip almost enters you before he stops, “ready?” you nod, needing him to enter you now. jaehyun slowly pushes his tip inside, feeling as you tightly wrap around him. “re-relax a bit for me baby,” he softly says. however his words didn’t help, you couldn’t relax around his cock so he decided to distract you by kissing you once more. getting so engulfed in the kiss, you don’t worry and start loosening up, allowing his cock to slowly but surely enter you.
when he parts a string of saliva connects both your mouths. jaehyun looks at your cunt which has now swallowed him. “s-so hot, so tight, fuck,” he curses when he sees the bulge in your stomach. reaching to grab your hand so you could feel him. “fe-feel me? right here,” he says. your eyes widened, he was reaching you deep.
“i’m gonna start moving, hold on,” he warns you. you take up on his warning, wrapping your arms around his neck. he plants a kiss on your forehead before he slides out only to then slide back in. it starts off slow, getting adjusted to one another, testing the waters. however, you had other plans.
“f-faster… please jae, fuck me faster~”
this knocks every last bit of jaehyun’s self control, logic, gentleness, and everything sweet out the window. replaced with a rougher, uncontrollable jaehyun. lifting one of your legs over his shoulder, while the other is pressed down against your chest he starts pounding into you. in the way you begged him to, his cock reaching you even deeper than his fingers. you could almost feel yourself close to coming already. you clench tightly around his cock, jaehyun taking this as a signal you were close to coming.
“it’s al–fuck--alright my-my love, cum around my cock. let me feel you whither around me,” he moans as he feels you clench around him when he ruthlessly thrusts into you. the fucking was so intense, your mind became dazed. all you could think about was his cock, the way he looked down at you with those eyes of his.
“ev-ever since i saw you in th-that dress, i’d wanted to bend y-you over and devour you, my love,” jaehyun says. the slapping of his balls against your ass echoing the room, along with the moaning of both of you. he tightens his grip on your thigh, pulling you body closer, deeper. maneuvering his thumb back onto your clit he starts abusing the now swollen bud again, whispering praises. you felt his cock twitch as your orgasm came crashing out of you.
your body shuddering, gasping for air as you were completely spent. his cock still fucking into you, his hands no longer on your legs or clit but on your waist. gripping onto the flesh tightly, fucking your body onto his cock. your voice loud, moaning as he overstimulated you. he leaned down, capturing your lips as his cock twitched before releasing his warmth. your walls painted white, womb filling up with all of him.
thrusting slower into you now before slipping out. your pussy feeling empty, dripping with cum. jaehyun couldn’t get enough of the sight in front of him, he wanted more. he needed you once more, you needed him once more.
“one more round, please my love,” jaehyun grunts. your fucked state, making him hard again. “p-please,” you beg. he groans before taking your body to gently and swiftly flip you around, your stomach against the mattress. “up baby, on your hands and knees,” his low, deep voice commands.
you weakly do as he says, your body is practically like jelly. from behind, jaehyun feels your ass. he fondles it, loving the way it feels. slap. “ah-“ you shout in shock. the harsh slap against your ass, causing you to stumble forward.
“you like that? what a dirty girl,” jaehyun teases, feeling as his cock rubs against your slit again. his hands traveled to your hips, gripping them and slamming himself into your cunt. both of you letting out moans as you felt one another again. “still so tight for me, aren’t i luck?” you muttered back something incoherent, your brain scrambed as he fucks his cock into you faster, harder, intensely. he reached you so beautifully and effortlessly from behind.
you ached for more so you began throwing yourself back against him. jaehyun watches, stopping his thrusting to watch you cutely fuck back onto his cock. he curses himself, feeling his cock twitch, aching for its release.
you were oblivious to him not thrusting into you, finding yourself enthralled by the pleasure you were giving yourself. his cock, was made for you; he was made for you, the two of you made for one another. you continued for a while longer, turning your head behind to look at the man you love. your thrusting comes to a halt when you notice him just looking at you dangerously.
“wh-what?” you ask confused. drool escaping your lips, tears adorned your eyes. he leans in, “my baby so needy she doesn’t notice the show she’s been giving me,” he whispers before departing. his hands coming to slap your ass again on both sides. his action weakening your arms, you flop on the bed, your ass still sticking up. you hear a low, tsk, come out of his mouth before grabbing your arms, bringing them behind you. you’re lifted, he uses your arms to push you onto his cock.
jaehyun’s thrusting starts again, going insane whilst he also uses you to fuck agaisnt him. and with one brutal thrust of his cock inside you, you’re tipped over the edge. your third orgasm of the night exploding over you. you faintly hear jaehyun groan then curse in the background before he comes inside you once more, filling you all the more.
letting go of your arms, you instantly flop onto the bed. you’re spent, utterly fucked out of your mind. your body still trembling after all the aftermath of the mind-blowing sex you’d just had with jaehyun.
jaehyun too, collapsed onto your side. his arms wrapping around your body as he pulls you against him. he turns you to face him. using his hands to move the hairs stuck on your face. “good job baby, you did good,” he praises you. “i’ll clean you up in a bit, my love, just rest for now.” you feel his lips gently place a kiss on your forehead, fluttering your eyes shut. your breath calms, lulled into a deep sleep.
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you feel something hard pressing against your back. the feeling waking you up, the sun shining through the windows. you attempt getting up when you suddenly feel trapped by something heavy. you travel your eyes down to that something, an arm. you're confused for a brief moment before flashbacks of last night flow through your head. your face heating up, your cunt twitching.
in your attempt to lift jaehyun’s arm you feel the man stir behind you. “mmm, stay in bed for a while longer,” you hear him mumble against your ear. he sounded asleep, but his cock was not. his cock stood proudly against both your bodies. you feel his pre-cum wetting your back. this made your pussy ache, growing wetter. fuck. it only morning and you already want to get dicked down.
biting your lip, you hesitate whether or not to wake jaehyun up so he could help fulfill your desire. fuck it, you thought. using all your might, you get out of his embrace. turning him onto his back, you straddle him. the change in position, waking jaehyun up. he almost believes he’s still dreaming.
neither of you say a word, instead you crawl behind, in between his legs as you hold his cock. it felt rock hard in your hands, hot even. “fu-fuck,” jaehyun curses as you start jerking his cock. you watch his expressions carefully, eyes still on him as you lick up the tip. you dart your tongue around his tip, licking up his pre-cum.
your hands gripping the base, as you began taking him in slowly into your mouth. he was so big and girthy that you struggled in getting him fully inside your mouth, trying your hardest to breathe. you let out a moan around his cock when you feel his hand fist your hair. the moan sending pleasure throughout jaehyun’s body. your mouth was just as perfect as your sweet cunt.
you look up, eyes blurry with tears from taking his cock so deep. you kept your eyes on him as you continued bobbing your head, running your tongue along the shaft. his eyes close, throwing his head back. he fists your hair tighter, finding yourself enjoying it. your wet cunt dripping down your thighs. you increased your pace, hands working in tandem with your mouth as you continued bobbing your head. you felt him twitch inside your warm mouth. however, just as you thought you’d have him cum inside your mouth, he pulled your head back with the fisted hair he had around his hand.
you let out a whine, upset at the loss of having him cum inside your mouth. yet before he could say anything you hovered over his cock, rubbing his tip along your wet cunt. grabbing his cock, you begin sinking it inside you. the stretch feeling so good for both parties. neither of you getting accustomed to each other. your mouth falls open when you feel that he’s all inside, eyes wandering to his.
jaehyun was completely lost in the sight in front of him. the way he felt your sweet cunt felt around him was unbelievable. he grasps onto your hips, finger tips digging into your skin. he watches as you lift yourself up before slamming back down into him. jaehyun enjoyed watching his cock disappearing inside you, turning him on all the more.
“f-fuck, just like that,” jaehyun grunts. your hands on his chest, leaning forward as you throw your ass onto his cock, grinding your clit on him to get some stimulation. his hands travel to your ass, digging into the flesh before slapping one of your ass cheeks. then another, slap. slap. slap. the constant slapping of his hands on your ass could be heard around the room.
“keep riding my cock, my love,” jaehyun said, in a low sultry tone. igniting you, you continue. when he feels your pace falter, he helps you out. digging his fingers into your hips to dive you back on his cock. faster, faster; deeper, deeper.
a rough thrust or two later before you’re a trembling mess on top of him as your orgasm hits you. your lips attaching themselves onto his neck, lightly sucking on his skin. jaehyun still hasn't cum yet, spreading your ass as he dives into you roughly. his lips finding yours, moaning into your mouth when he finally came. his cock twitching inside you, making you feel all warm again.
“fuck, what a way to start the morning,” jaehyun says softly, pecking you on your temple. you giggle, “sorry, just can’t seem to get enough of you.” a chuckle erupted from his throat, “neither could i, it’s almost as if we’re made for one another.” to this you nod, resting yourself on his chest.
the two of you spending the day in bed together, not being able to keep your hands off each other. you two only get up to eat and use the bathroom. even showering didn’t stop him from taking you from behind. orgasm after orgasm, the two of you are completely inseparable. loving one another to the fullest.
“i love you so much my love,” jaehyun whispers when you two find yourselves collapsed on his bed again. you gently place a kiss on his lips, i love you so much more jae,” you muttered before falling asleep again in his warm embrace.
it’s been just over a week since you and jaehyun had officially started dating. not a single moment goes by where he doesn’t show his adoration for you, you two completely smitten with one another. he always makes time in his schedule for you, and you too try being considerate. after all, your boyfriend was a star, not just your star, but a world star.
today however was an important day, a day you and jaehyun have been dreading. the day you meet his manager. although jaehyun made sure to come clean to his company about your relationship with him, they insisted his manager meet up with you. jaehyun agreed under the condition he was there as well.
the date was set for today, so now you’re waiting on jaehyun’s couch for the two of them to come bursting in. the other day jaehyun had given you a key to his home so you could come inside whenever you wanted. your leg shook from nervousness, your mind wandering to stupid scenarios like him kicking you to the curb.
however you reassured yourself nothing of the sort was going to happen, after all they hadn’t told jaehyun he was to break-up with you the day he came clean to them. you take a deep breath in when you hear the door open. fuck. your stomach getting nervous, the food you’d aten wanting to make an appearance on jaehyun’s black fur rug.
you stand up just in time as jaehyun and a male besides him come walking in. he was slightly shorter than jaehyun, clad in casual clothes. “h-hello,” you nervously greet, bowing at the man.
“hello ms. l/n,” he greets you back. you're a bit puzzled at how he knew your last name. perhaps jaehyun told them, you thought as you tried shoving the useless thought aside. “no need to be so nervous my love,” jaehyun says, walking to your side. he’s oddly calm, sitting down. his manager takes a seat across from the two of you, you too take a seat besides jaehyun.
“i already said hello, but i have yet to introduce myself properly. hello, i’m jaehyun’s manager, lee dohwa,” his manager finally introduces himself. “nice to meet you mr. lee, i’m y/l/n,” you introduce yourself as well even if he already knew your name. “my girlfriend,” jaehyun adds, both you and his manager glare at him.
mr. lee clears his throat before speaking, “well it’s finally nice to meet you ms. l/n, your name has gone around the company quite a lot as of late.” you tense, growing nervous. “ah, no need to be so nervous. i’m not here to make you guys end things, nor is the company. we’re in understanding of the situation, jaehyun made that clear a few days ago when he told us,” his manager talks. you listen intently, nervousness washing away at the fact they really aren’t going to break you up from jaehyun.
“which led to the company asking jaehyun whether he wanted to go public, but the guy told us it was up to you to decide.” up for me to decide? you thought, turning to face jaehyun who just listened to the conversation. he looks up at you, bringing his hand to caress your cheek. “it’s true baby, it’s your word. if you want to go public, we’ll go public but if you don’t then we won’t,” he assures you. your heart melting at how much he cared for you, treasured you. it was a big decision to make, you thought long and hard about it. you tried finding pros and cons, eventually scrapping those off. you thought it’d be best to listen to what your heart wanted.
“i- i don’t want to go public,” you say with a bit of hesitation. you glance over at jaehyun to see his reaction only to find him smiling and mouthing, good job. “alright,” his manager says before continuing, “if that’s what you want, we’ll respect both your wishes. however you must still try and keep things under wraps and not get caught because then we’ll have no choice but to confirm the rumors.”
you nod, understanding the situation. “and if you ever change your mind, let jaehyun know and we’ll figure something out,” the manager clarifies. “got it, thank you so much mr. lee,” you sincerely thanked the man. he got up from his seat, “well, then since that’s out the way i have to get going.”
“leaving so soon?” you asked, following him as he walks to the door, jaehyun too follows. “yeah, i still gotta go back and report to the company. don’t worry jaehyun’s all yours for the day,” he says. you slightly blush at his comment, knowing what will happen once his manager leaves. as he grabs the doorknob he stops, turning back around. “ah, i almost forgot, could you get me water jaehyun?” he asks. jaehyun sighs, going back into his house to retrieve a water bottle for his manager.
in the meantime his manager takes the opportunity to get your contact information. “figured i’d ask you now that jaehyun isn’t around since i’d doubt he’d let you exchange information with me,” his manager explains as you type in your phone number. you hand him back his phone, “i’ll have you send me your email later too, the company will probably need it.” you nod as jaehyun comes back. he hands him the water bottle before he finally opens the door. mr. lee bids you both a final goodbye before leaving.
you close the door as jaehyun’s arms wrap around your waist. he tenderly kisses an exposed part of your neck. “what do you want to do now?” you ask. you feel him smile against your neck, “i know of a couple ways to spend the rest of the day, maybe even night.” god, this guy was going to drive you even more insane.
and so for the rest of the entire day you spent it with one another entangled, desiring one another. unable to let the other go, the two of you feeling at home.
“our love’s being the only war worth fighting for.”
10 months later.
d-day. the long awaited encore concert, jaehyun’s encore concert. after almost 10 months of touring the world, it’d finally come to an end today. it felt like it was just yesterday when his company announced he’d be touring. not to mention it was almost a month after you two started dating, that he would start his tour. as a consequence, you two refused to leave each other’s embrace, he devoured you whenever he could as he wouldn’t be able to see you for weeks on end. however you still encouraged him whenever you could, time difference being the only thing making things hard. at times it’d resort to the two of you having phone sex, you two truly were unable to live without the other.
nevertheless, whenever he’d be back, he would make time in his schedule to take you out on dates. the two of you putting up quite the disguise of face masks and caps every time. throughout the months you felt the relationship grow stronger with each passing day. you were the happiest you’d ever been and it was all because of jaehyun, your star.
today however finally marked the final of his tour and his manager encouraged you to come and watch again. you were hesitant at first, fearful of being found out. yet he had the genius idea of disguising you as staff. and so now here you were, entering the building with a staff badge hanging around your neck. you perfectly blended in, going unsuspected. mr. lee finds you, greeting you and walking you to where you were going to reside.
a vip lounge.
when you got there you noticed two familiar faces, jaehyun’s parents. you’d met them not too long after you met with his manager. they welcomed you so openly and warmly it almost made you cry. they treated you as if you were their own daughter.
“y/n!” his mother excitedly says your name when she sees you. you call for her too, being embraced into a hug. when you let go you bow to his father who stood beside his wife. “y/n, nice seeing you again,” he greets you. “you as well mr. jeong,” you politely greet.
“y/n,” jaehyun’s manager calls your name behind you, stopping the joyful reunion. “you’ll stay here, pose as staff and guide them backstage when the concert is concluded,” he explains. you nod, understanding the responsibility you now bear. he bids you three a goodbye before quickly exiting. being a manager sure it tuff, you thought.
“how are you!” jaehyun’s mother continues. and as you answer her the two of your converse into some deep conversations. the hour went by quickly while being in the company of his parents since before you knew it the lights turned off, fans screamed and stood up with their phones out, trying to get a glimpse of the star who was about to go onstage.
you watch intently, seeing him, your boyfriend, being lifted up stage. his presence radiating, illuminating, you almost didn’t wanna blink, afraid you’d miss even just a second of him. he starts singing, you hear as his fans sing along and wave their lightsticks. It warmed your heart, you secretly thanked them for supporting your beloved.
it wasn’t your first time seeing jaehyun in a concert, but you still couldn’t get over the fact that the stage seemed like jaehyun’s home. it was a place where he stood out so beautifully, belonged in. he made you so goddamn proud. and as you continued watching the concert, you found yourself singing along, yelling, and crying— you resembled a fangirl. you honestly didn’t mind, after all you were his number one fan.
as the concert was coming to a close, jaehyun was giving his ending ment. he continuously thanked everyone and everything. however that wasn’t what captured your attention, it was what he said last that not only captured yours but the fans attention as well.
“and very soon, i have an announcement to make. i can’t spoil anything yet but just know i hope that you all can continue to support me,” jaehyun said, smiling so wide his dimples were on full display on the screens. to the fans, they might’ve thought it was an announcement of a comeback, but to you, you knew it was something entirely different.
it all happened a couple months ago during one of the times jaehyun had taken you out. you felt the urge to talk to him about this pending thought. “wh-what if we go public?” you abruptly say in the car as he drove you two to his house. he’s stopped at a red light, the perfect opportunity. he glances over at you, his hand squeezing yours. “it’s whatever you want darling, i’ve told you… wherever you go, that’s where i’ll follow,” he reassures you, taking your hand to kiss your knuckles. “i-i want to go public, well not now but maybe soon, perhaps when we make a year,” you say, his eyes tearing away from yours when the light turns to green. “alright my love, we’ll do that,” he replied back, a smile tainting his face.
though you two haven’t talked about it since then, you both know that your two year anniversary is right around the corner. it made you happy knowing he still remembered. he always seemed to know everything, he truly was the perfect man you could’ve ever asked for.
he sings two more songs before the concert officially comes to an end, his tour finalizing. once he’s off that stage, you and his parents hurry backstage as you try avoiding running into any fans. luckily you two made it without a hitch. you find his manager in the halls, waiting for you three. he then guides you to the lounge area where jaehyun later arrives in. he instantly bursts out smiling seeing all his beloved people gathered. he starts off by greeting his parents, hugging them and kissing them. jaehyun moves along to you, in which you immediately wrap your arms around his neck.
“you did amazing out there jae,” you whisper into his ear. “thank you my love, i could feel your presence and felt all the more motivated,” he says. you two depart from each other's embrace and instead give one another a loving peck on the lips.
the four of you relaxed for a while, until food and a cake came inside. “to celebrate,” mr. lee announces. everyone in there having a good time, you were having an amazing time. although the touch of jaehyun’s fingers on your thigh elicited you to think of other things. your mind goes off the rails. however you knew what jaehyun was doing here, what he was trying to tell you. you glances over at him beside you, only to catch him doing the same. a small smirk spreads across his face, your panties growing wet.
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you two made it to his car before he began tearing your pants off you. earlier as the, congrats-on-a-good-tour, party had been wrapping up, jaehyun decided to excuse you two. he insisted on driving you two back home, which his manager allowed. he knew he wouldn’t win against jaehyun. and so when you two said your final goodbyes to his parents, he practically had you running to the parking garage underneath the venue. he told you to get into the backseat in which he then joined you as well.
now you find him tearing your clothes away from your body, throwing it to the passenger seat. you laid in the backseat, naked with nothing but your cute red panties. jaehyun licked his lips before going in between your legs. he pries them open, each leg on one of his shoulders. he kisses your you inner thighs, nibbling on the skin.
when he comes face-to-face with your pussy he darts out his tongue where he kitty licks you through your underwear. you bite down on your bottom lip as he plays with your clit. your panties growing even wetter, mixing along with him, eventually he finally removes your panties, stuffing them in his pocket before going back down.
with both his thumbs, he spreads your pussy lips apart. tongue licking you up so slowly you felt yourself clench around nothing, you ached. he flicked your clit before suddenly intruding his tongue inside you.
you moaned loudly, arching your back off the car seat as his tongue fucked itself in you. opening you up against your gummy walls, reaching you so deep. the wet noises infiltrated the car. your hips began grinding against him, one of your hands flying to his hair. you urge him deeper, he moaned from the action, sending sensations of pleasure to course throughout your body.
jaehyun kept going at it with his tongue, his pace quick. he travels a hand to your tit. jaehyun groped it as he used his fingers to play with your nipple, pinching the bud hard, and causing you to moan. whilst he used his other hand to start playing with your clit. abusing the poor thing, and not too long after he takes his tongue out of you. you whine at the loss of sensation.
“it’s alright my love, i’ll let you cum soon,” he says before getting up and sitting against the car seat. “come here,” he says, eyes looking at you like a predator.
you waste no time in straddling his lap, his lips coming onto your to engulf you into a steamy kiss. tongues fighting one another, teeth clashing, and a little tug on your bottom lip. “ride me. take me like a good girl right here,” he says in a sultry tone.
you couldn’t afford to waste time, you quickly sunk yourself into his cock. you still couldn’t get used to his length, it took a bit for you to get accustomed. his hands gripped your hips, guiding you into his cock. he plowed you in and out, watching his cock disappear inside of you, exciting him. “shit, good girl. you’re my good girl aren’t yo—fuck—you,” he grunts when he feels you tightening around his cock. an indication you were close to reaching your high. from getting tongue-fucked, it left you desperate for your release.
jaehyun was no cruel man, he helped you reach your high with a pleasurable play on your clit. he pounded into you once before you’re orgams came washing over you. you throw your head back, tongue lolling out.
“fuck, so beautiful,” jaehyun mutters, his high not too far away. as he continues fucking into you, you cling onto him. your arms wrapped around him, your lips sucking on his neck, marking him. and with a slap to your ass, he came inside you. panting heavily, he finally stops. the windows fogging up, you’d hoped no one had seen you two. yet there was something so hot about being seen, the thought turning you on.
jaehyun felt you clench, he knew what you were thinking about, he always did. “you dirty girl, wishing everyone saw you being fucked by me,” he smirks. god, something about the way he talked to you, ignited you even more.
you whisper into his ear, “yes, so fuck me more jae~ let everyone see how much i love you.”
jaehyun felt as though he could die right now, by you and your words. he wastes no time giving you a nice good fucking, round after round until your two couldn’t no more, needing a bigger space. he finally decides to drive off, driving while he had his fingers in your sweet pussy, fucking their way inside you until you saw stars.
even as you made it through the front door he took you from behind, moving to the living room, kitchen, bathroom, and his bedroom. he took you wherever and whenever around his home. and once both you have had enough of one another, you’re lulled into a deep sleep.
jaehyun’s pov.
today was the day, our one year anniversary. i’d planned a big day for the both of us today, and right now i’m heading to pick her up. i’m stopped at a red light, my thoughts infiltrated with her and the year we’ve spent together.
not only was it our one year, but today i’d planned to propose to her. i clutched my unoccupied hand around the velvet box. i purchased the ring a while back, i knew i’d wanted to marry her. she was my everything, i couldn’t live without her, her smile, her laugh, her eyes, her beauty, her personality, her everything, the flaws. at times it felt like she and i were specially made for one another. destined beings meant to be with one another. she had become my greatest gift, and from that day a year ago, i knew i wanted to marry her, build a family with her, and be with her during my last dying breath.
and once i’d propose to her, it’d like to officially announce our relationship and marriage. today was going to be the perfect day. even the weather was in my favor, i couldn’t wait to see her reaction to the ring, her face when she-
crash. bang. slam.
red, my vision was painted red. glass scattered on the floor, i was paralyzed. my car had been flipped over. shit.
no, no, no this couldn't be happening right now. no, please god not now, not today. my mind thought of y/n, she was still waiting for me to arrive. i clenched my hand on the box, it still was in my hand. today was suppose to be our one year, the day i asked for her hand in marriage, the day we’d spend eternity today.
as if a twist of events, droplets of rain began dripping down my face. i could feel my eyes wanting to close. no, fuck, jaehyun stay awake, i thought. y/n is waiting for you, she is-
black, i saw black. the noises stopped, everything became silent. the last thing i saw was y/n, my love, my beloved, my soulmate. i wished i could’ve spent one last time with her, "right to you y/n, right next to you."
you grew worried. jaehyun hadn’t arrived yet, he hadn’t even messaged or called you to tell you he was going to run late. not to mention something your gut told you something wrong happened. you couldn’t shake off this feeling. you even tried calling him, but to no avail. he wasn’t answering. and so you resorted to calling his manager, but he too did not answer.
you impatiently waited for something, but nothing came until the afternoon arrived. your phone begins to ring, you immediately retrieve it. it was jaehyun’s manager. you quickly answered, not bothering to let him talk first. “mr. lee, hi! have you heard from jaehyun? he hasn’t answered any of my calls or texts, please le-” you rant quickly, wanting to seek answers but are interrupted by a distraught mr. lee.
“y/n, i’ma need you to hear my carefully,” he starts off. your worry increasing and your gut twisting. “j-jaehyun’s in the hospital right now, if you can you should come before his surgery finishes.”
“s-surgery?” you ask, voice wobbling. “y-yes, this morning, i’m guessing on his way to pick you up, he was involved in a car accident, it was bad. jaehyun was unresponsive when paramedics arrived, but was still breathing. he had a pretty nasty cut to his head and the doctor advised to quickly operate on him,” mr. lee explained the situation.
you don’t even remember much after that. you screamed in agony, tears nonstop as they roll down your face. you quickly head over to the hospital, ignoring the herds of news stations reporting. it disgusted you, how could they when your beloved was barely holding up.
you rush to the front of the hospital, asking to let you see jaehyun but that’s when mr. lee steps in to let you go with him. you rush together outside the operating room where jaehyun was at. you shook as mr. lee continued telling you details of what had happened earlier that morning. it hurt you, you couldn’t believe it. today was supposed to be your one year anniversary, the day you two celebrated in harmony, in love, with one another. yet here you were, in a hospital, awaiting news of the conclusion of his surgery. you’d never cried this much in your life.
in the midst of it all, jaehyun’s parents had arrived as well. his mother completely distraught, embracing you as you two prayed for jaehyun’s successful surgery. it felt neverending, like years had been passing by. why were they taking so long, why, why, why. you couldn’t take this anymore, what if he… what if he didn’t… you couldn’t even finish the thought. no, you thought. he was going to make it, he was the strongest person you knew. he was the brightest star that shunned.
“i, i just woke up from a dream. where you and i had to say goodbye.”
an hour or two passed by again before the operating sign turned off and a doctor came out. you and mrs. jeong stood up from the floor. all of you greeting the doctor, standing around him as he started to explain in detail jaehyun’s injuries.
“luckily, nothing life-threatning, the surgery was able to go about successfully. though we’re not sure when he’ll wake up, i can guarantee everything went well. it’s a miracle he made it out alive, he truly is a strong one,” the doctor said as he glanced over at jaehyun's parents during the last part. you sighed in relief, finally being able to breath after getting confirmation he truly was alright.
you all thanked the doctor, and thanked the heavens above that jaehyun had survived everything.
soon, a nurse came out informing you four that he’d been moved to a room and you all quickly rushed over there. your eyes watered again seeing the state he was in. it horrified you seeing all his injuries, small ones and most notably his head injury. you rush to his side, gently taking your hand in his. and you didn't know if it was just your imagination, but you swore you felt him tighten his hand around yours.
⋆⁺✧˚ · .₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆₊˚ෆ
it’s now been a little over a week since jaehyun’s accident and surgery. you’ve spent everyday by his side, sometimes staying the night. however his mother was growing worried for you and insisted you’d get some rest as well. you just didn’t want to not be by his side when he woke up. and so the days went on, you sat beside his bed. your hand on his, you stared at his face. you prayed and prayed for him to finally awaken, to open those eyes of his you adore so much.
the media was in a disaster the first couple of days, fans and nonfans too praying for his recovery. it came as a shock to everyone. they also arrested the person responsible, he had been under the influence when he crashed into jaehyun’s car. he was the one who ran the red light as jaehyun had just begun to drive.
you continue watching jaehyun when you notice his eyes move, they weren’t opening but they’d twitch. it was almost as if he was trying to open them. you got up, calling his name. your breath got caught in your system when you see him finally pry them open. he mutters something, but you don’t hear as you try calling for a nurse. when you come back you see him looking at you.
“j-jaehyun, is everything alright,” you ask. he doesn’t respond, he just looks at you as if he was trying to recognize you. “don’t worry, i already called a nurse the-” he interrupts you. the words coming out of his mouth, shocking. destroying you, changing your life.
“w-who a-are yo-you?” he asks, voice coming out a bit dry.
“wh-what do yo-you mean? jaehyun, it’s me, y/n… god, no. jaehyun please,” you begin to cry out. you’re refusing to believe what was unfolding, wishing it was some joke. the nurse comes in, seeing an awoken jaehyun and you crying.
you turn to her whisper so jaehyun wouldn’t hear, “h-he doesn’t remember me, wh-what’s wrong. pl-please.” she looks at you then at jaehyun. “ma’am, please calm down for a moment, i’ll go talk to the doctor first,” she says, but you already knew what was happening.
jaehyun had lost his memory, there was no denying that.
you don’t say a word to jaehyun anymore, instead you call mr. lee to inform him of what had just transpired. he tells you he’ll be there in no time. when he arrives, your still a crying mess. however another discovery was made.
“do-dohwa?” jaehyun asks, calling out for his manager. the two of you were shocked, none of this making sense. he remembered his manager, but not you. no, god this was worse. your heart broke to a million pieces. you could feel your world ending, right here, right now.
the nurse came back in, she informed you two that the doctor wanted to conduct a study on jaehyun to see what was going on. you two watched him being transported away. and your tears flowed more.
“h-he doesn’t re-remember me,” you cry out. his manager sits beside you, trying to reassure you, telling you perhaps this was just a temporary thing. that perhaps jaehyun was going to recover his memory soon, it wasn’t going to be anything serious.
yet all your hopes were crushed when the doctor came inside the room to talk to you both. jaehyun had fallen asleep. “he’s lost his memory, precisely memory of around 3 years,” the doctor informs. “is there a chance he could get it back?” mr. lee asks when you can’t even speak up anymore. “it’s hard to say, in most cases they do but there are also those other half who don’t,” the doctor answered. he asked you two if there were any more questions but you both didn’t ask anything more, too shocked by this new discovery.
when the doctor leaves, mr. lee gets up. he walks over to his backpack, opening it and retrieving a small bag. as he walks back to where you sat he hands you the bag. “wh-what’s this? you ask. “open it and you’ll find out,” he just says, it sounded so mysterious. however you do just that, opening the small bag, taking the object outside and into your hands.
a small velvet box.
your heart stops. could this be, you thought. you look up at mr. lee. “they found it in his hand when paramedics arrived, they told they had a hard time removing it from his hand,” mr. lee explained when you open the box. in the middle was the most gorgeous ring you’d ever seen. you couldn’t see anymore.
“it seems he was planning to propose to you,” mr. lee comments. you stayed silent, clutching the box tightly. a beat or two passes before you ask, “co-could you give us a minute.” mr. lee nods his head, stepping out to give you two some space. you get up from your seat and walk over to jaehyun. he was still fast asleep.
you grab onto his hand, tears continuously spilling out as you try gathering what to say to him. “th-thank you jaehyun. thank you for showing me love. thank you for allowing me to love you, for loving me. thank you for thinking of me even as you were dying. thank you for staying strong. thank you for existing. thank you for everything, my beloved.” you had so much to thank him for. “in the course of the year i spent with you, there was never a day i felt sad or regretful because i was with you, in fact that year was the best year of the entirety of my life.”
you let out a choked sob. “i don’t wanna say goodbye to you, goodbye to us. i wished we could’ve spent more time together, be right next to you. and if you ever get your memory back, just know i’d be waiting for you. but until then, our story will have to end here jaehyun.” you lean in to his kiss his cheek before departing. “i’ll love you for all eternity.”
you look at him for one last time before turning around. you’re about to open the door when you turn around again. “and jaehyun, yes i’ll marry you.”
+ + +
“if the world was ending, i’d wanna be next to you. if the party was over and our time on earth was through, i’d wanna hold you just for a while and die with a smile. if the world was ending, i’d wanna be next to you.” - die with a smile, bruno mars & lady gaga.
+ + +
© jhdyuiee
2024. 09. 15
final a.n: hey! you've reached the end of die with a smile, it was an emotional roller coaster. i cried writing the ending, it was truly heartbreaking. the story ended up being longer than i had anticipated, but nonetheless i felt it was necessary to include the falling in love to get a better understanding of the loving relationship. unfortunately though i’ve decided to make this a oneshot, so i won’t be making a part two as i feel it’d be best to leave it this way (sorry i have to leave it angsty). anyhow, i hope to all my readers you’ve enjoyed it, cried, and felt a whirlwind of emotions. thank you for your continuous support, i’ll be back in 2 weeks with my next release! look forward to what i have next! thank you once more & i love you all, stay safe out there! jiji out 🤍
hi!! i hope you’re doing well 😊 i saw your requests were open and i’m hoping you could write something about reader overhearing jaehyun talking/admitting to friends that the reader fell first but he fell harder. it could purely be fluff but i won’t be opposed to it being angst to fluff hahaha — anyway, i hope this is alright with you! thank youuu
pairing: Jaehyun x fem!reader
genre: angst + fluff | childhood best friends to lovers
word count: 3.8k
tw: mention of food + pregnancy
a/n: may or may not be inspired by dear.m lol there’s a bit (a lot) of angst because i’ve been going through it and let’s face it, it’s me haha. enjoy! thank you anon who sent this ❤
—-
Five years ago.
“I really don’t know how to say this so I’m just going to say it. I like you Jaehyun. A lot. More than a best friend.”
Jaehyun stood in front of you shock with eyes wide. “What? Why are you saying this?”
“I can’t help the way I feel about –“
Keep reading
⋆⭒˚.⋆ just makes sense ⋆⭒˚.⋆
idol!Jae x f!idol!reader
summary: your and Jaehyun’s fans just really can’t believe that they two of you are just best friends
(cw: f!reader, idol!reader, I used ‘y/n’ :(, “shit”)
Ever since you joined SM you and Jaehyun had been joined at the hip. He was the awkward little guy with the bowl cut and high pitched voice who was just awkward enough to be endearing. It was lucky that you had both joined at similar times, within weeks of each other, so really who better to understand what you were going through than him?
He helped you learn your dances, you helped him moisturize his hair, he brought you food, and you reassured him that his comeback outfits weren’t ugly, even if they were. The friendship just grew and grew, from trainees to full fledged idols who debuted and had their own fans.
You were both the first ones to congratulate each other on comebacks and awards, always there supporting the other. Weirdly, your friendship was either something that management didn’t care about or didn’t keep as close of an eye on. Their idols being good friends shouldn’t be a concern for them, it was a good thing.
It was a nice relationship to show to the public that idols could be friends even with their hectic schedules and levels of fame. Through the years there had been countless pictures of you and Jaehyun out together in so many places. There were late night snack runs, a collection of those from trainee days and even now, neither of you with a spec of makeup or fancy clothes on. There were the lunches you both met up for, a few with your fellow members joining but mostly just the two of you eating and laughing.
Of course there were fans of your group and NCT who wanted you and Jaehyun to be together. They claimed that you brought out the good in each other, neither of you cared what the other acted like, and you brought out a genuineness in the other that was rarely seen. You had to admit you did like that, there was no one in the world closer to you than Jaehyun. He was your best friend, even after all these years, the levels of fame, touring, random hours, and missed hangouts didn’t dampen your friendship at all.
As time went on though, fans became more passionate for their ship. You were constantly tagged in videos of the two of you together and they were cute. How could they not be? Videos of you and your best friend doing your own dances on the SM Town stage, clips of both of you backstage supporting the other, blurry clips of you in the NCT dressing room knocked out on Jaehyun’s shoulder, a clip of Jaehyun leaving your dance studio in one of your group’s vlogs.
Then there were the pictures that you had both posted of each other, never before seen pictures until it was you birthday or his, the cakes you sent the other for birthday lives, or flowers you both sent after big shows, even pictures and videos of you in the NCT crowd with your own Neobong following the dances perfectly in sync.
Pair all that with the random clips of your members randomly mentioning you being out with Jaehyun, Jaehyun stopping by for dinner, Jaehyun sending snacks during a choreography day, or members of NCT mentioning that you stopped by to congratulate them backstage or short clips of Jaehyun in the background on the phone with you.
It was the countless posts and comments in the collection of pictures and edits of people saying they just could not believe you two weren’t together that made you laugh. It was just a known fact, in your early years of being an idol you had even dated someone else, but that didn’t stop or hinder you and Jaehyun in any way. If you were a fan, you would get lost in it all too!
So why was being up at 3 in the morning making you question your feelings for your best friend? A decade of friendship with no other instances of you even feeling remotely attracted to him, but a complication titled “Jaehyun and Y/N being the definition of best friends to lovers for 13 minutes straight” was going to be the one to change it? Was Reason Number 8, looking at him like he was the best thing since sliced bread, true? Did you really look at him differently than you looked at anyone else?
You groaned, swiping the video closed and calling the man himself. The line rang for maybe 5 seconds before he answered tiredly, shit, he was promoting. Now you felt bad.
His voice was groggy and low, “hello? Are you ok?”
“Do you think I’m in love with you?” You asked. Straight to the point, there was no room or time to be awkward with the person who knew you best.
He coughed, actually, it sounded like he was choking. He cleared his voice came out hoarse, “No, I think you love me because we’re best friends, but I don’t think you’re in love with me.” The line went silent for a bit, before he quietly asked, “ are you?”
For whatever reason you felt pressure behind your eyes as you sat up, hot tears lined your eyes as you shyly responded, “I don’t think so, but would it be a bad thing if I was? Maybe one day in the future?”
You could hear the sheets on his end rustling as he likely sat up or readjusted himself in bed. “No way,” he answered quickly and confidently, “would it be bad for you if I maybe one day fell in love with you?”
You wiped away a tear as a tear managed to escape, shaking your head and letting out a sigh of relief, “No.”
“So… do you maybe want to give the romance part a try?”
“Yeah,” you reply, feeling like a weight as been lifted off your shoulders, “but you have to promise that if anything goes wrong we’re still going to be best friends, ok?”
“Nah,” he sighs, letting out a yawn, “now that I have you, I’m not letting you go. Good night.”
You’re glad that it’s a normal phone call so he can’t see the flush that spreads across your cheeks, “good night, Jae.”
A week later when you two go on your first date, nothing has changed between the two of you. You talk like normal, you laugh as usual, the conversation isn’t awkward, but he drops you off right on your doorstep with a kiss and rosy cheeks.
A month later when SM puts out a statement nothing between the two of you changes either. Except this time you don’t read the comments about the two of you alone, you read them together. Because that’s how it’s always going to be from now on.
i still love you - introduction part 2 ( jaehyun and his friends )
main masterlist | previous | next |
synopsis
⇲ going from dating to one of the biggest basketball players in school to dating the biggest football player was not easy. you went from love at first sight to not knowing what love felt like. struggling with their relationship because of their differences and leads them to a fatal break up that may or may not come back to life.
i still love you- introduction part 1 ( y/n and her friends )
main masterlist | next |
synopsis
⇲ going from dating to one of the biggest basketball players in school to dating the biggest football player was not easy. you went from love at first sight to not knowing what love felt like. struggling with their relationship because of their differences and leads them to a fatal break up that may or may not come back to life.
i still love you - introduction part 3 (mingyu and his friends )
main masterlist | previous | next |
synopsis
⇲ going from dating to one of the biggest basketball players in school to dating the biggest football player was not easy. you went from love at first sight to not knowing what love felt like. struggling with their relationship because of their differences and leads them to a fatal break up that may or may not come back to life.
i still love you- introduction
main masterlist| previous | next |
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jaehyuns pov:
i hated seeing her with him. the thought of seeing her happier with someone who isn’t me makes me hurt. the way i have lost her touch makes me weak. the way i can’t hold her in my arms when she cries in her sleep. the way i can’t kiss her goodbye when we leave to our classes in the morning. the way i can’t love her like there is no tomorrow. i miss her. i miss everything about her. her honey brown curls and that honey skin. the freckles on her nose and the beauty mark on her right cheek. everything is his now. all of her love is to him.
y/n and i broke up 6 months ago in mutual terms. it was the definition of right person wrong time but she doesn’t believe that. she thinks mingyu is everything when he isn’t and i know how he plays. see me and mingyu and his friends were on really good terms last year but i saw how they played their women and i was not okay with that. ever since then we all started to hate each other.
y/ns pov:
i missed jaehyun. i missed him a lot. but i was scared to leave mingyu and potentially leave for my ex who doesn’t want me anymore. when i left jaehyun i went to mingyu for emotional support. i don’t really love him- matter a fact we never said our “ i love you’s “ yet. he just isn’t the one for me. jaehyun was my ride or die, my everything but we couldn’t make it. we were too different for each other. we didn’t have the same interest or the same views on things which is what made is argue 24/7 yet... we still loved each other.
i don’t think i could ever loose my love for him. he is too pure and too good for me. he had said it was just “ right person wrong time “ but i didn’t believe that until now. i didn’t realize how miserable my life was without him. i thought maybe mingyu would be my cup of tea. we like to party, have fun, live life- unlike jaehyun who is more conservative, stay home, study, watch movies and cuddle. even though he is a professional basketball player, that doesn’t make him a frat boy. he could care less about basketball. but thats what i needed.
i needed that pureness again. i needed someone who actually cares and doesn’t ditch hanging out with me for frat parties. it hurts seeing jaehyun look miserable because i moved on to someone i didn’t care for. i just thought me and jae weren’t meant to be..
_______________________________________________
synopsis
⇲ going from dating to one of the biggest basketball players in school to dating the biggest football player was not easy. you went from love at first sight to not knowing what love felt like. struggling with their relationship because of their differences and leads them to a fatal break up that may or may not come back to life.
i still love you- chapter 1
main masterlist | previous | next |
_______________________________________________
marks pov:
as y/n’s best friend i try to keep her protected and safe at all times. i try to make sure she is stable and not hurting inside- but ever since her breakup with jaehyun it has not only been rough for her but for him too. when y/n moved on to mingyu , that was a very big mistake on her half . she went to someone who didn’t give two craps about her and just dated her for laughs and giggles and to prove jaehyun wrong. mingyu wanted to make a point to jaehyun that he can snatch whoever and whatever he wanted from him- regardless y/n asked out mingyu.. that’s one thing he took from jaehyun. mingyu didn’t want to give up that chance.
mingyu and y/n is quite the couple. they aren’t a passionate or real to or for each other. they don’t actually love one another , it’s basically just a toxic game waiting to end. they absolutely hate each other as well. y/n speaks so bad of mingyu like her life depends on it but i don’t blame her. mingyu does the same thing though ( according to the fishes in the sea ) . y/n thought that just because they were the total opposites that meant they weren’t right for each other when in reality that makes them complete . when y/n texted me about mingyu i wasn’t surprised but when she mentioned her missing jaehyun... that was a turn i wasn’t ready for.
_______________________________________________
——————————————————————————
synopsis
⇲ going from dating to one of the biggest basketball players in school to dating the biggest football player was not easy. you went from love at first sight to not knowing what love felt like. struggling with their relationship because of their differences and leads them to a fatal break up that may or may not come back to life
i still love you- chapter 2
main masterlist | previous | next |
——————————————————————————
y/n’s pov:
i was laying in bed reading my book, trying to get away from my emotions and confused feelings when i suddenly get a text. “ hmm, heard you missed me 😳 “ it read. i was shocked - i didn’t realize i still had his number nor was i expecting a text from him. i assume maybe mark told him about what i said since they are best friends because i mean how else would he know. i panicked a little since we haven’t talked in 6 months rather than everyday. i did miss him as we know and i do want him but i am just so confused.
i didn’t answer immediately. i waited maybe 15 minutes to answer because i didn’t want to seem like i needed him at that second. something in me was kind of excited but also scared.
i told him to meet me at the ddong cafe at 2 pm. i wanted to talk to him and catch up. i wanted to tell him how much i missed him even though that maybe a mistake on my end but i need him to hear it. i say it maybe a mistake because of how i feel. i am scared that i will let him down again. even though we broke up on mutual terms we cut it off for each other. we put up with a fight everyday and it wasn’t healthy for us. i don’t want it to be like how it was before.
it was 1:23 pm when i started getting ready. jaehyun and mark have their last period together that ends around 1:30 today. i got up and took a quick shower then put on a pair of black biker shorts with a white graphic tee, paired with my white air force 1’s. i left my curly hair out and added a blue headband. i grabbed my purse and left to go see the one and only jaehyun.
when i arrived to the tiny cafe, it was decorated so beautifully. i didn’t even realize that jaehyun was already there sitting at a table staring at me. we looked in each others eyes for a good five minutes. with those brown chocolate eyes those plump lips , i was aching for him. he had his hair pulled back with a beige hat on with a plain white shirt and black dress pants on it looked like. he looked so hunky and i loved it.
i then get out of my thoughts and finally walk over to him. i started to get real nervous and i could tell he was too. i can read him like a book. those pretty thoughts are pretty nervous now. i break the awkwardness and hugged him and he hugged back. this was such a relieving feeling. i felt so relaxed and at piece. he made me feel so secure and safe at this very moment. when i am with mingyu it feels more like a chore. more like a playdate but with jaehyun it is so much more despite the differences.
jaehyuns pov:
when i saw y/n she looked absolutely stunning. beautiful as ever. it sucks that i have to look at her from afar because she is my everything. i could see in her eyes that she needed comfort- she was dull and looked so miserable. when she hugged me i didn’t expect that at all. it was a very cold-sharp hug. she needed warmth. she needed someone who she could call home. she needed someone who could make her smile and fill her up with all the happiness in the world. she needed a home. she didn’t have that with mingyu and to be honest i don’t think she ever will.
when she pulled away from the hug and said “ i’m sorry “ and started to shed tears. i wanted to kiss her and tell her that i have her forever and ever but i didn’t want to overstep my boundaries especially because she still is with the kim mingyu. i just hugged her so tight. i couldn’t even speak even if i wanted too. i wanted to take in everything.
we sat down and took our usual orders. “ so how have you been y/n “ i ask. she looked at me with a “ you should already know i am going through hell “ type of look. i already knew she wasn’t happy in their relationship. the way mingyu talks about her is ridiculous but i never wanted to say anything plus i am sure she knows already. she probably got it through her head that mingyu is trash. “ my relationship is throwing me off guard and messing with me mentally but- i am trying to fix myself “ she says. i gave a little chuckle and smile to brighten the mood. “ i just want you to know that you are too good for him. you know that. don’t let a jerk like him mess with your head. mark has told me about his ways and how he plays you like a book. “
y/n’s pov:
he was so right and i hated it. if only he knew how much i wanted him. we start chatting about our lives and how our professors are asses. it felt so nice to have a normal and civilized conversation with someone. it’s something i don’t get everyday and i needed it. the way he smiles from ear to ear everytime i laugh at his corny jokes and ask about basketball makes me so happy. “ i heard you won your last tournament hm “ i say. “ yeah i am still so psyched about that. i trained so hard to make those shots haha “ he said. i made a slight smile. “ i wish you were there to cheer me on “ he says. i knew that was coming.
_______________________________________________
synopsis
⇲ going from dating to one of the biggest basketball players in school to dating the biggest football player was not easy. you went from love at first sight to not knowing what love felt like. struggling with their relationship because of their differences and leads them to a fatal break up that may or may not come back to life
i still love you- chapter 3
main masterlist | previous | next |
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mingyu’s pov:
i was about to head to my car to pick up seokmin and jungkook when jungkook shot me a text to look at my instagram. i open it to seeing y/n with jaehyun. i am not gonna lie it made me furious to see my girlfriend with her ex knowing they still love each other. i never got mad at any of my girlfriends for being with another guy- especially with the reputation i have i shouldn’t be mad. something about y/n drives me insane and i don’t know how to describe it nor feel. i feel bad because i treat her like shit and she thinks i don’t like her when really i am in love with her.
i act like an ass because i never felt this way about someone. when we went to our first frat party as a couple it was a sight i never saw of her before. she looks so innocent on the outside but when you get to know her and see her in a free state it makes you so crazy. the only people who knows about my crush on y/n are my friends because lets be honest here- who would think that kim mingyu has a LEGITIMATE crush?! i barley believe it.
it sucks because i know she doesn’t love me. i know she’s with me to get over her ex but it’s nothing that i’ve never done before...now i know the feeling. i can’t bring myself up to tell her i like her because she’s gonna think i am a fool or drunk when these are really my true feelings. it sucks being a jock sometimes. i let my thoughts go in the back of my brain so i can enjoy my night but i couldn’t. all i could think about was y/n possible leaving me for jaehyun.
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⇲ going from dating to one of the biggest basketball players in school to dating the biggest football player was not easy. you went from love at first sight to not knowing what love felt like. struggling with their relationship because of their differences and leads them to a fatal break up that may or may not come back to life.
i still love you- chapter 4
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jaehyuns pov:
going up to the school building, i see mingyu walking with his friends jungkook and seokmin. as we made eye contact he did a handshake with his friends and walked over my way. i was confused but scared because i didn’t know what he was going to say to me- especially since i am y/ns ex. he came up to me with a somewhat preppy face which confused me even more. “ whats up jaehyun ! “ mingyu says. “ uhh hey? “ i say in a confused tone. “ look i gotta question, i don’t do this often but how do i get closer to y/n ? “ he says. i was in shock- not once has mingyu ever wanted to get close with someone before. this makes second guess my relationship with y/n..maybe i won’t be with her again.
i take the offer anyways and help mingyu out. this honestly came by surprise and this will of coarse break me. seeing them date is already enough even if it isn’t real love. me and mingyu start talking about y/n and he threw everything at me. he named such amazing things about her but they were things everyone knows of. he doesn’t know the intricate stuff- the little things. that’s what matters the most to me.
mingyus pov:
i texted y/n thinking she would respond nicely, but i forgot i ditched her the other day. so obviously she was upset when i texted her about wanting to talk. i wanna tell her that i love her because that’s what jaehyun said i was feeling. it felt weird going to jaehyun since that’s her ex and he’s clearly in love with her still.
now i know j am just wasting her time but i really want to be with her. she thinks i am a joke and i am but i really do love her. i just know she doesn’t love me and it kills me.
y/ns pov:
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⇲ going from dating to one of the biggest basketball players in school to dating the biggest football player was not easy. you went from love at first sight to not knowing what love felt like. struggling with their relationship because of their differences and leads them to a fatal break up that may or may not come back to life.
note: sorry for being so inactive,, school has been taking too much of my time:(( i will try to be more active soon !