Kylo Ren X Y/n - Tumblr Posts

Blissful morning - Ben Solo x Reader

His beauty never failed to astound you.

The morning light crept through your window and you slowly opened your eyes, sighing contently. For the first time in weeks you felt well rested, all thanks to him.

He was here. He was home. He was safe.

He had been gone for a month this time, one of his longest trips yet. A resistance mission to the outer rim to rescue young slave children, some possibly even force sensitive. It was an overwhelming success for the dwindling Jedi population.

You understood why he often had to leave. Gifts like his could not possibly be wasted, especially when focused on helping others.

Though he would never admit it, you knew in your heart he felt as if he could never right all the wrongs he had committed in the past. He knew that no matter what goodness he fought for, who he rescued, or what sacrifices he made, it would never be enough to redeem him. Yet, he persisted. He would never, ever fall back into his old ways. His darkest days were behind him, and he worked with every piece of his soul for the triumph of goodness in the dark world surrounding you.

He never imagined that dedicating his life to the resistance and fighting for the good of others would lead him straight to you, and you certainly never imagined falling for someone with a past like his. But his still-healing heart was one of gold, and you knew it.

Ever so slowly, as not to disturb his fragile sleep, you rolled onto your side to face him.

Your teammate. Your best friend. Your person.

You had been together for a short while now, yet you still couldn’t help but admire him as he slept. His dark hair partially covered his eyes as his chest slowly rose and fell. Minor cuts and bruises now joined the familiar scars littering his hands and arms. In this state he looked so relaxed, vulnerable, fragile even. Every fiber of his being seemed to be completely at peace. He never let anyone see this side of him when he was awake. Not even you. Not even for a single second.

That peace had been especially sparse lately. Though he felt further and further from the sith with every passing day, there were still periods when his demons took hold of him for days at a time. He would lay in bed blankly staring at the wall, sometimes attempting to meditate to keep the nightmares at bay, too afraid to move for fear he would hurt someone. He wouldn’t let you hold him or talk to him. No solution, no help, no amount of trying to get through to him, nothing could break him out.

You knew it had nothing to do with you and everything to do with his own growing and healing, but not being able to hold him through his hardest times took a toll on you. You could sense the loneliness and desperation in his bouts of darkness, but knew he didn’t trust himself to stay in control in those moments. If he ever hurt you in any way, he would never forgive himself. He would let you in on his own time, and you would be there waiting until he was ready.

He was still learning to truly trust again.

So, you settled for admiring from afar, for now. At least until you could fully convince him you were a source of healing, a safe place, that you were in this for the long haul.

And oh, you were. Lord knows, you were.

Today the demons, nightmares, and demands of the world seemed to be far away. He was all yours again, sleeping peacefully. His breathing was deep and even, face relaxed, vulnerable as ever, and in that moment you truly believed there was no way you could love him more.

You took hold of his hand and brought it up to your lips to kiss the new scratches on his knuckles. His eyelids fluttered open, revealing the gorgeous brown you had achingly missed for a month, and you could feel your heart jump just as it did the very first moment you locked eyes.

Your heart sank ever so slightly. Now that he was awake he would surely retreat back into his head, losing the state of peace you so loved to see him in. You figured he would give you a small smile and quickly turn his back to you not out of malice, but out of self-protection.

But, for once, you were wrong.

He did smile, that much you predicted, and oh how you had missed that smile. The way his face scrunched as his lips curved up. However, instead of turning his back to you, he took his hand from yours and ran it along your face, slowly caressing your cheek, seemingly trying to memorize the moment and the many freckles on your skin.

You could still feel the peace and tranquility radiating from him, and you were elated. He was choosing to trust you in this moment, to let you in and allow himself to simply breathe and feel.

His big, beautiful eyes shone in the morning sun, and you couldn’t help but smile back.

He placed a strong hand on your back and pulled you close. He pressed a light but lingering kiss on your forehead as you nuzzled into his thin shirt. You closed your eyes again, holding him tight and savoring the moment, knowing it was fleeting and the demons were bound to eventually return.

“I missed you.” He whispered into your hair.

You smiled into his strong chest. Demons be damned. In this moment, this man was yours, and you were undoubtedly his.

“Welcome home, Ben.”

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A/N: Hi! I'm new here. I've never put any of my writing out into the world like this before. Feel free to roast me, I would embrace it! Questions? Comments? Concerns? Please leave them here or on AO3! (wave0fg00dvibes)

Thank you for reading!