Like Actually - Tumblr Posts
okay wait it’s a little strange
every time I click a new chapter it goes back to the error page again so it’s like halfway fixed? idk I’m not messing with it tho until the officials give the go ahead. Don’t want to mess up any hard work they did so far by constantly refreshing.
AO3 IS BACK UP
"I do not fear death. I fear only that my rage will fade over time."
I may be a trans guy but this does not mean I don’t still want to wear the yellow dress that Anastasia wears with the sash and crown and go to a ball and dance in it just like I did when I was 5
Dum ass shitpost
I hate myself
And Bianca and Tyson!!!
Thalia Tyson and hazel should go on their own adventure together
I would read that so hard
everytime somebody talks about the big three kids and excludes thalia and hazel an angel loses their wings
Prince Among Wolves by Rawren (Deshonanana)
Explicit | 101k | 20/20 | Complete
Looking for full day/evening sitter. 2 twin boys age 4. Must have exp. w/werewolves. Must be human. No pedophiles. No teenage girls. Pay negotiable.
Wait wait sjdhdnd
Fuck zodiac signs I wanna know if you're in the vertices fandom, letters fandom, images fandom or idk what's going on group
my bestie has ALL the talent
it's tiiiiimeee!
RGB SPIDER PEOPLE!??!!?
i finished this forever ago but the designs felt off to me so i had to revise them multiple times
i DONT make rough drafts beforehand i put the shit on the page and PRAY
That room is so neat compared to mine 😭
Y'know, I've always kinned Kyonosuke, but never as much as I did in this single line.
IS THAT AN OT7 COMEBACK?? IM FUCKING HERE FOR ITTTTTT
also I have an exam in less than half an hour ripperoni :’)
cheol has my heart... but sometimes a fabulously-written mingyu story makes me question my loyalty
kim mingyu’s (unhelpful) guide to losing your virginity
❝ you’re telling me that you, Miss Dick Repellent, had sex with Captain Chastity By Choice over here. ❞
PAIRING ▸ kim mingyu x fem!reader
GENRES ▸ smut, fluff, humor, college au, best friends to lovers au, friends with benefits au
WARNINGS ▸ profanity, alcohol consumption, rated m for mingyu, slow burn, he fell first but she fell harder but then he tripped and ate shit, probably the most self-indulgent thing i’ve written, mingyu and mc are both virgins, sexual content, sexual tension, protected and unprotected sex (i would not advise doing the latter), lots of teasing and banter, oral (f. and m. receiving), fingering, wall sex, couch sex, public sex, mingyu discovers what pasties are, soonyoung orders 20 connect fours, they are avid enjoyers of the barbie movies
SUMMARY ▸ after accidentally telling your friends that kim mingyu took your virginity (he didn’t), you’re shocked when he proposes to relieve you of the fabled v-card for good (he does).
PLAYLIST ▸ perfect by one direction • spell by niki • fatal flaw by ellise • give me a kiss by lolo zouaï • step? by bibi
WORD COUNT ▸ 31,273 words
AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ someone (fia) once told me i write too many college aus. i said yeah ur right. and i’m gonna do it again
“BIRDS AND BEES CANNOT PHYSICALLY FUCK.”
You sounded more distressed than informative while you were trying to reason with your longtime best friend, Kim Mingyu. He, on the other hand, appeared visibly worked up over this childish level of argument you two were having.
“It is a metaphor,” he said. “Everyone knows birds and bees aren’t screwing each other up in the trees.”
You still couldn’t wrap your head around it. Hours ago, you had fucked yourself over after Kwon Soonyoung had casually brought up the topic of body counts. After everyone in your friend group went around listing theirs (Soonyoung: 3; Jungwoo: 3; Minghao: 2; Vernon: 5), you accidentally blurted out that your body count actually existed—one, to be exact.
This was a problem because, to everyone’s prior knowledge, you were a virgin.
Keep reading
Don't worry, for our souls are forever intertwined | poly! jihan
Synopsis: change is scary but you can be rest assured that jeonghan and joshua will always be there for you. Prompt: “our favourite little girl/ our only little girl” | requested by @brownsugarbaybee Jeonghan x female! reader x Joshua | fluff, hurt/ comfort | 6.15k words | warnings: poly relationship, slight profanity A/n: inspired by this panda video. KARI MY ANGEL! Thank you for the request, you know i adore poly! Hansoo. This is also very self-indulgent sooo… I hope you enjoy~
ִ ࣪𖤐 The soul and heart are intertwined like the vine to the oak.
For as long as you can remember, Jeonghan and Joshua have been in your life. It’s actually hard for you to imagine a time before they were there. They have been there with you, and for you at every step of the way. You became fast friends with them when you all met at the round netted swing in the playground all those years ago. The fondness and adoration that you developed for each other soon turned your friendship into a courtship. The courtship then bloomed into the beautiful relationship that you have with them now.
If anyone asked how you would describe your relationship with the two, you would liken it to a blooming rose bush.
Jeonghan was like the thorns and leaves. He was the mood maker in your relationship. Like how leaves provide the whole rose bush with energy, Jeonghan gives you and Joshua energy by always making jokes and doing adorable actions that would make you swoon. Don’t let his actions fool anyone though, like the thorns, his quick wit and sharp tongue would cut down any harm that might come your way. He’s your protector and energiser bunny.
Joshua on the other hand was like the branches and the stem. These parts of the rose bush are what keeps the plant propped up and supported. Similarly, his level headedness (most of the time), gentle personality, and kindness brings an immense amount of comfort. You can go to him for anything and everything. Joshua always, and I mean always, makes time for the two of you. Whenever you feel like you’re about to topple over, Joshua is always there. He’s your pillar of strength.
Then, there’s you. You were like the roots that ground the rose bush and make sure that the bush has enough nutrients to keep it healthy. You do the same for Jeonghan and Joshua. Your energy and endless amount of love for them drives them to do their best, and to be their best. You never fail to shower them with care whenever they feel like their heads are about to float away. You are their anchor.
It’s the three of you pouring your hearts and souls into the relationship that is what makes it fully bloom to become the robust, beautiful rose bush that it is today.
The only thing is, even the strongest plants can be uprooted by unforeseen changes to the external environment.
᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃
ִ ࣪𖤐 Change is not an event, it’s a process - Cheryl James
Bringing your hand up to the door, you exhale a shaky breath before rapping against the wood gently. After hearing a muffled, “come in”, you enter the room nervously.
As you walk into the room, you see rows and rows of books lining the many shelves against the walls. Piles of paper are scattered across the table and the sofa next to the door. At the center of the room, sits your professor.
Professor Bertrand is a cherry, chubby, bald older man. Over your years in the university, you had built a good rapport with him. He had taught one of your favourite professors during his undergraduate years, and now he was teaching you.
He looked up at you with a cheeky grin on his face as you took your seat across from him. Letting out a haughty laugh at your apprehension, he clicked his tongue at you. “Even after all these years you still get nervous when a professor asks to see you?”
“Well, when the email says, there is an urgent matter that I need to discuss with you, yes I still do.” You retorted.
Professor Bertrand shook his head. With a knowing smile, he said, “Still, you know it’s never anything bad. Like today. In fact, I called you in here to discuss an exciting opportunity for you about your P.hD application.”
Gingerly taking the pamphlet that was on his table, your eyes widened as you quickly scanned the front page.
“Is this for a scholarship in Oxford?” You inquired.
“Yes. As you know, our university is interested in funding some bright students, such as yourself, for further education. Their ultimate goal is to keep you working for the university in the future. Hence, students on scholarship will be bonded to the university for at least 5 years. You’ve constantly proved yourself time and time again. The department has discussed it, and if you want, you can apply for the scholarship. You will have to go through the normal selection process along with other applicants. But you have a high chance of getting it.”
Professor Bertrand’s words lingered in your mind. A fully funded scholarship to Oxford? And a guaranteed job after? That was a dream come true for you. Yet, there was the unsettled feeling of uncertainty that started to creep up on you. Would you be able to succeed? Should you even try to apply? If you got the scholarship you would be away for 4 years. That was a long time. What would happen during that time? What would Jeonghan and Joshua think? What would happen to your relationship?
You gulped and shuddered at the dark thoughts that flooded your mind.
Sheepishly smiling at the loud silence that overcame the room, you told Professor Bertrand that you would seriously consider applying. Then, you politely and hastily excused yourself from the room.
᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃
ִ ࣪𖤐 Sometimes, even the smallest decisions can change our lives forever.
You were exhausted today. After your talk with Professor Bertrand, you spent the rest of the day mulling over all the possible “what ifs”. You couldn’t get any work done at all.
You sighed as you entered the foyer in the apartment you shared with Jeonghan and Joshua. You took in a deep breath, inhaling the familiar scent of your home. Home. This was your home. With them. You never wanted to leave. You were too afraid to.
Just as your thoughts were about to spiral, you were interrupted by the two sets of heavy footsteps, and two bodies launching themselves at you.
“Princess!/ Angel!” Jeonghan and Joshua cried as they wrapped you in their arms. Instinctively, you wrapped your arms around them, giving Joshua a peck on the cheek, and nuzzling your face into Jeonghan’s neck.
Jeonghan giggled at the ticklish feeling. They pulled away from you and ushered you into the apartment. Jeonghan took your bag and instructed you to quickly get changed so you could all have dinner together. Nodding, you mindlessly walked into the bathroom for a shower.
Jeonghan and Joshua shared a concerned look as they watched your figure disappear into the bedroom. Something was off with you. The sparkles in your eyes were dimmed. You hunched over slightly as you walked. They noticed these subtle behavioural changes. They were already extremely perceptive people, but that was heightened even more when it came to you. Making an unspoken agreement, they were determined to figure out what was wrong.
Later during dinner, Jeonghan was telling stories about what happened that day during dance practice. Joshua was adding on silly comments as usual. But that was nothing out of the ordinary. What was unusual, was that you were abnormally quiet and you were only picking at your food instead of shoveling it into your mouth. Your mind was still buzzing with thoughts flying left and right.
After watching you pick at the same piece of chicken for the 4th time in a row, Jeonghan had enough. He used his chopsticks to keep yours in place.
Coughing to get your attention, Joshua gently asked, “Princess, is everything okay? Did something happen? Was anyone mean to you?”
When you didn’t answer, Jeonghan immediately started to panic, “someone was mean to you? Who is that? Was it that bitch who gives you dirty looks every time you answer a question? If it’s her I will shove her face in some garbage. She can’t get any uglier anyway.”
Joshua clamped his hand over Jeonghan’s mouth. Reeling back when Jeonghan licked his palm, Joshua’s eyes widened in annoyance and he menacingly (but calmly) said, “let’s not jump to conclusions. Hannie, no violence. Now, princess, you don’t have to tell us now but we’re here for you whenever you are ready to talk.”
At Joshua’s words, you raised a finger to tell them to stop their shenanigans and to wait for you. You quickly fished the pamphlet out of your school bag. Handing it out to them, you nervously chewed on your lip as Jeonghan and Joshua read the pamphlet’s contents.
Once you were sure they were done reading, you explained, “As you can see, I was offered this opportunity to apply for the scholarship. It’s a big deal and it’s always been my dream. It’s just… I… I don’t know if I want to apply. I don’t know if I can do it. And I would have to be away for 4 years. That means 4 years away from you two. We’ve never been away for more than a month at a time when you are off touring.”
As you spoke, you could see the many emotions flash through Jeonghan and Joshua’s eyes. Shock, happiness, pride, love, adoration. But when realisation set in, you saw discomfort, worry, uncertainty, and heartache.
Rubbing the back of his neck, Jeonghan shot a quick glance at Joshua who was staring at you with wide eyes.
“Angel, I don’t know what to say. This is a big deal. It’s a lot to take in now. But I think we can see why you are feeling conflicted about this,” Jeonghan sighed.
“Don’t get us wrong Princess, it’s an amazing opportunity. We’re really happy for you. Really, we are… it’s just… uhm… yea it’s a lot to take in,” Joshua added.
You stared at Jeonghan and Joshua. Their seemingly blank faces did nothing to conceal the multitude of conflicting emotions that they were feeling inside. You shrank back into your seat. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to let them know. Maybe you should have just turned Professor Bertrand down.
Subconsciously, your reservations about the whole situation took over your voice of reason. You took their response as a sign that they were also against you applying for the scholarship. Impulsively, you exclaimed, “See! You’re hesitant about me applying too! This is stupid, I don’t know why I even bothered to entertain the idea of applying at all. It’s not like the local P.hD programmes are any less prestigious. Maybe we should just forget about the whole thing. I'll email Professor Bertrand right away to tell him I'm not interested.”
As you sprung up from your seat, Jeonghan’s hand shot out to grab your wrist. Firmly, he said, “Now. We never said anything about you turning down this opportunity. Don’t take our hesitation as us saying you shouldn’t go. Don’t put words in our mouths and turn us into the bad guys who are stopping you from pursuing your dream just because you yourself are hesitant. Like we said, this is a big deal. It’s a lot to take in at once. But it’s something we should discuss further. Don’t be impulsive. Let’s let this sit for a while and discuss it later when our minds are clearer.”
With that, Jeonghan let go of your wrist and walked out of the dining room. Joshua let out a breath. Glancing at you, he stood up, squeezed your shoulder, pecked your cheek, muttered a soft, “let’s talk later”, and followed after Jeonghan.
Letting out a frustrated growl, you threw the pamphlet on the floor. Jeonghan had never spoken to you in that tone before. Never. Tears pricked the side of your eyes. Of course you would be the one to let your emotions get the better of you. Jeonghan was right. He almost always was. You were taking their hesitation as a convenient excuse to turn down an opportunity you were conflicted over. Leave it to you to mess up your education opportunity and your relationship at the same time. Huffing, you grabbed your jacket and stormed out of the apartment.
᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃
ִ ࣪𖤐 When everything is uncertain, everything that is important becomes clear.
Upon hearing the slam of the front door, Joshua furiously wagged an accusatory finger at Jeonghan.
“Even if you are right, don’t you think you’re being a bit too hard on her? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for her. She has every right to feel conflicted. She’s just reacting in that way as a defence mechanism. WE are supposed to be the ones who help talk her through it,” Joshua accused.
“She’s being a brat today. And you don’t think that this is our defence mechanism? We get the news that she’s offered this opportunity, and then we have to face the possibility that she’ll be away from us for 4 years. Then she turns the whole situation around and says she will turn down the opportunity because we’re hesitant, which in her mind equals to we don’t want her to go. All of this in the span of 10 minutes,” Jeonghan scoffed.
“So what? You snap at her and say that we should push the whole thing aside until later? Sure, just push the problem down until it explodes later. I guess you’re good at that,” Joshua hissed.
Raising his eyebrows at Joshua, Jeonghan growled, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Joshua gave Jeonghan a pointed look. Taking a moment to calm himself down, Joshua nodded at Jeonghan to take a seat on the sofa.
“Remember the time when we were still trainees and you wanted to quit?” Joshua asked.
Rolling his eyes, Jeonghan muttered, “you’re going to have to be more specific. There were multiple times.”
Electing to Ignore Jeonghan’s sarcastic remark, Joshua continued, “It was the one before the last evaluation to see if we would debut. We were all stressed. You were contemplating quitting even before the evaluation. You said you should just quit so you wouldn’t need to face the uncertainty of whether or not you would be allowed to debut. There was uncertainty about whether you would be successful. There was uncertainty about what would happen to your or I guess our friendship with her if we were to debut. You said it would be easier if you just move home. You mused over that for ages while trying to keep a straight face so you wouldn’t stress out the other members. It made you so irritable and angsty all the time.”
Jeonghan let out a heavy breath as he realised where Joshua was going with this story, “of course I remember this one. One day when we were meeting y/n at our usual spot. She just asked about how we felt about the evaluation and I scolded her for being so thoughtless and asking when she knew we were stressed. Then I blurted out all these worries to her. When she didn’t know what to say I took her silence as an acknowledgement that I should quit.”
“Yes. But instead of snapping back at you, she held you as you cried. She told you that although everything was uncertain at the moment, if you chose to quit, that was the end of your journey to becoming an idol. Quitting would be the only outcome you would ever know. So, you should keep pushing on because being an idol after coming so far was important to you. She reminded you that since that we would deal with all the other stuff like our friendship along the way. What happened? We made it. And our friendship with her turned into a loving relationship. Everything turned out okay even if we didn’t know that at the time. Hannie, what she is going through now? You went through before. She’s experiencing all these uncertainties and she doesn’t know how to deal with it.” Joshua replied.
Seeing that Jeonghan’s eyes were downcast and that he went silent, Joshua patted Jeonghan’s head gently, “Hey, I get it. You’re scared. You’re scared everything is going to change. When she gets in, and we all know she will, she’ll be gone for 4 years. That’s 4 years without her by our side. I don’t know how to deal with that. All these years of being idols, we’re the ones who leave all the time. We’re reliant on her for so many things and so many reasons. This time, it will be different. I’m scared too. But as she said those years ago, we’ll deal with whatever comes our way.”
Under the dim living room lights, Joshua sat there, patting Jeonghan’s head. They both contemplated what these changes would mean for you, and your relationship.
On one hand, all of you would have to deal with being in a long term relationship. You would be away for 4 whole years. After being in each other’s lives for so long, being accustomed to you, your gentle touch, your scent, your presence, your laugh, your hugs, your kisses, they were sure you were their soulmate. The one who was always there for them, grounding them, keeping them sane. There are no words to express just what you have done for them for all these years. It’s not easy being the girlfriend of an idol, let alone two idols. Yet, you’ve managed. The mere thought of being away from you for two days when they were having concerts already tore them apart. What more being away from you for 4 years, not counting all the visits that you would definitely schedule. They couldn’t bear the thought.
On the other hand, this was a golden opportunity for you. It’s your dream, and always has been. It would do wonders for your career. You would be able to achieve so much. Now, the time has come that your roles are to be reversed. It was your turn to fly high with them supporting you. To see you succeed, Jeonghan and Joshua would gladly swallow all their emotions.
After a while, Jeonghan pulled away from Joshua. They looked into each other’s eyes with determined gazes. They had finally found what they had been searching for all along - the resolve that they would encourage you to go because your happiness and success came first.
You were the most important person to them. Although they needed you, they knew you needed to grasp this opportunity just as much or maybe even more.
᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃
ִ ࣪𖤐 Do what you think is right for you so you won’t regret anything later regardless of the consequences.
Meanwhile, you were walking aimlessly around the streets. Everything around you felt like a blur. The whir of the cars on the street became a faint buzz in your ear. The bright glare from the street lamps became dimmer in your mind. Your emotions had quietened down. You no longer felt that rush of adrenaline that you did when you stormed out of the apartment. The conflicting emotions and thoughts disappeared. Your mind had gone blank. You just felt empty. Empty and so alone. Still, the weight you felt on your heart was a constant reminder of the need to make a decision and your fight with Jeonghan.
The next time you looked up, you found yourself at the spot that you always held closely to your heart. You guessed that subconsciously, your heart brought you here. It was the playground where you met Jeonghan and Joshua for the first time. Although it was at a park, the playground was tucked in a corner and was never crowded.
You made your way further into the playground, sitting down on the round netted swing where your first meeting took place. Feeling the roughness of the ropes’ fabric against your fingertips, you let a small smile spread across your face. You always felt at peace here. Perhaps it was the quietness of the space, or the rustling of the leaves in the background, or maybe even the cool breeze that softly caressed your face. You never could figure it out though, for now you didn’t care. The emotional reprieve that these familiar surroundings brought you was liberating. Wanting to savour this feeling, you leaned back and closed your eyes.
Inevitably, your mind began to wander. This place held so many precious memories for you after all. It was where your relationship began. Oh how all of you have grown since then. Despite the meeting taking place years ago, you can still remember it like it was just yesterday.
It was June 2013. Your family moved to Seoul for your father’s new job. You were so excited to be in the bustle of the big city but sometimes, you missed the peace of your old home. After being in this housing estate for 1 month, you knew that the playground was usually empty at all hours of the day. You gleefully dumped your bag at home after school and sprinted to the playground.
You skidded to a halt when you saw two unfamiliar faces crammed onto the netted swing at the playground. Raising a questioning eyebrow at the two of them, you wondered what they were doing. Shrugging your shoulders, you decided to walk away since it wasn’t any of your business.
However, it seemed that your footsteps caught their attention. They shot up from the netted swing. Startled at their sudden movement, you just stared at each other. Your eyes shot back and forth between the two boys. They had similar builds, and you thought they were twins. Both were also extremely cute. Feeling the heat rush up your face, you shook your head to try and shake the thoughts away.
One of the boys gave you a cheeky grin. The other smiled in amusement, his eyes curling up into little crescent moons. The former called out, “Hello! I’m Jeonghan! This is Joshuji! He’s from LA!”
You approached them apprehensively, “I’m y/n. Sorry I didn’t mean to stare.”
Jeonghan’s grin widened even more, “Joshuji! I told you she was staring!”
Confused, you asked, “Joshuji?”
‘Joshuji’ elbowed Jeonghan with a grunt, “My name is Joshua. Only this idiot calls me Joshuji. Anyway, it’s nice to meet you y/n.”
You nodded in understanding. You were feeling awkward as you obviously interrupted them. You shuffled your feet, and were about to turn away when you heard Jeonghan’s voice again.
“So y/n. What are you doing here? You look a little too old to be here at a playground.”
You crossed your arms, huffing, “I’m only sixteen. Technically, you’re never too old to play at a playground. Besides, you both look older than me.”
“Touché.” Jeonghan chuckled.
Jeonghan pushed Joshua to the side, earning a glare from him. Jeonghan ignored Joshua, patting the small tiny space in between them.
Pointing to yourself, you asked incredulously, “I’m sorry, you want me to sit THERE? We’ll never fit.”
“Come on Angel, you’ll never get another chance to sit between two handsome boys again,” Jeonghan smirked.
Joshua rolled his eyes at Jeonghan’s words, coughing, “calling yourself handsome is so conceited.”
You watched amused as Jeonghan and Joshua began bickering with each other about who was more handsome. Unable to control your laughter anymore, you burst into a fit of giggles. You brazenly walked over to squeeze yourself in between them. Hey, it’s like Jeonghan said. You’ll never get another chance to sit like that again. You were going to take what you were offered.
Surprisingly, the swing managed to handle the weight of the three of you. But you were all squished together, your leg was almost on top of Joshua’s leg while his arm lay on the space above your head. Jeonghan, that menace cheekily turned to his side to rest near your waist. His face was dangerously close to your face. You could feel his breath against your ear.
They were already good looking from afar. Being this close to them? Jeonghan’s boyish looks, wide bright eyes, and playful persona made you swoon. Joshua’s gentle persona was a big contrast to Jeonghan’s, though he was no less attractive with his big doe eyes and lips that curled up at the tips. You felt like you were about to combust.
Unbeknownst to you at the time, they felt inexplicably drawn towards you. There was just something about you. They needed to figure out what that was. And that was how your friendship with Jeonghan and Joshua began. This was also one of the only times Jeonghan was wrong. Because you certainly got the chance to sit between those two handsome boys again, and again, and again.
Chuckling at that memory, you let out a contented sigh. You slowly opened your eyes at the thought. It was a cloudless night, allowing the full moon to shine brightly above in the sky. You reached upwards, making a grasping motion, as if you were trying to hold onto the moon. As you repeated that motion, staring at the streaks of light that broke through your fingers, the fog in your mind started to clear.
There were seeds of doubt planted in your mind. You acknowledged that. There was uncertainty about whether you would even succeed should you apply for the scholarship. Would you live up to the expectations that your professors and the university placed on you? The expectations that you placed on yourself? Plus, you never lived away from home alone before. Would you adapt well? How was that going to impact your life? It will be 4 long years of you being alone.
At the heart of the whole matter, there was your relationship. Honestly? You didn’t know what you would do without Jeonghan and Joshua by your side. Despite all the success they achieved, as they flew higher and higher, they had been constants in your life. To think, those two cheeky 17 year old boys wormed their way into your heart to become your closest friends, confidents, and lovers. You were with each other through thick and thin. Their debut, your university graduation, entry into graduate school, their contract renewal, world tours. All these big events, and everything else in between. Your lives, your memories, your past, your souls, had been so intertwined that the mere thought of that being untangled frightened you to your core.
What will happen in the future? You didn’t know. You never will know. But at the moment in the present, when you are faced with these choices that would impact your future, you know that you should choose what you would regret the least. You should choose what your heart desires the most so that when that future comes, no matter the outcome, you can say that at least you tried. You would be able to live with little to no regrets.
Staring at your outstretched hand against the moon, you made peace with what it was that you truly wanted. You wanted to grasp this golden opportunity that you were presented with. You needed to. You needed to do this for yourself. You need to try to fulfill your dream, your full potential so you won't have regrets in the future. You would choose your education.
It wasn’t that you weren’t choosing your relationship either. Rather, you chose to put your faith in the strength of your relationship. You chose to put your faith in the three of you. As much as your heart desired to stay with Jeonghan and Joshua, keeping the status quo, you had already been through so much together. It was almost guaranteed that you would all remain strong in the face of any other adversities. That much you knew.
Grasping at the moon one more time, you lowered your clenched fist, bringing it to your heart. Making peace with your decision was a bittersweet feeling. But it was a feeling that you fully embraced. You wanted to live with no regrets.
᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃
ִ ࣪𖤐 Embrace uncertainty. Some of the most beautiful chapters in our lives won’t have a title until much later - Bob Goff
“We thought we would find you here.”
A voice broke you out of your thoughts. Sitting up from the netted swing, you saw Jeonghan and Joshua walking towards you. Giving them a sheepish grin, you patted the empty spaces next to you.
Unlike the first time when you climbed on the swing, they had no reason to keep their distance from you. They both lay down on their sides facing you while you remained lying face up. Your leg now fully on top of Joshua’s and his arm under your head, cushioning your head from the roughness of the rope. Jeonghan’s arm wrapped around your waist and he pulled himself closer to you. It’s just that now, he rested his head against your shoulder. You also brought your hand to rest on top of Jeonghan’s hand, your other rested on top of Joshua’s thigh.
For a while, the three of you lay there, taking in each other’s presences. You could feel their love filled gazes on you. You squeezed your hands lightly to let them know how much you appreciate them being there.
“I’m sorry Hannie. I shouldn’t have been so impulsive. You were right, I shouldn’t have used you both as an excuse to turn down the scholarship opportunity. That wasn’t fair,” you started.
Jeonghan hummed in understanding, lightly brushing your waist, “well. Thank you for saying that Angel. But I should have tried to be more understanding of your feelings as well. I’m sorry.”
“Ahem? Well I have nothing to apologise for. Though I do accept both of your apologies for being stubborn babies.” Joshua smirked.
You gave Jeonghan a look before you both lightly smacked Joshua’s arm. Joshua let out a whine, “why are you always hitting me when we are here?”
Jeonghan retorted, “because being here makes you a brat. Oh wait, you kind of always are one.”
Joshua stuck out his tongue in response, “says the biggest brat here.”
Laughing at their unending bickering, you mused, “it’s been what? Nine or ten years since we met and you both never change. Still bickering here on the good old netted swing under the big tree.”
Jeonghan and Joshua turned their attention back to you. The way you laughed was always so endearing to them. They were glad you were obviously feeling better.
Joshua decided to bite the bullet and said, “Princess? Jeonghan and I were talking about this. We admit, we are hesitant and worried, but we think you should take the offer. What’s 4 years right? We’ll all be fine.”
“Yes, you should go. It’s been your dream since you were younger. You should push forward with it. We will respect your decision either way. Just know that we will support you, and that we’ll be here to face whatever comes. Together. You never know what will happen if you don’t even try. Remember what you said to me those years ago Angel? If you quit, you’ll never know any other outcome besides quitting. Let’s all face the future together. Uncertainties and all,” Jeonghan added.
When you heard their words, your lips trembled. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you murmured, “Actually, I was just about to tell you. I decided that I do want to apply. It is a once in a lifetime opportunity. I can’t just let this slip away from me. I think if I choose anything else, I will have to shoulder those regrets for life. I love you both. So so much. It means the world to me that you are supportive of me. I…”
As your voice trailed off, Joshua brought his hand to wipe the stray tears that had started to fall. Jeonghan nuzzled his face into your neck. Their actions, seemingly small, spoke volumes. You understood what they wanted to convey to you. That of course they would support you. That they wanted the best for you. That they had faith in your relationship. That everything would be okay. That they loved you too.
At that, you choked back a sob.
“Ahhh, Angel, don’t cry. If you sob, we’ll start crying too,” Jeonghan’s voice quivered.
“That’s right princess. Don’t think too much, okay? We’re soulmates. We’ll come out stronger from this experience. Just enjoy the experiences that you will be able to have. Who knows? It might be some of the most beautiful moments of your life. Besides, Jeonghan will have to go into the army soon. Maybe I’ll take a hiatus and move to Oxford with you, be your official hot trophy house husband slash sugar daddy? We’ll use Jeonghan’s credit cards for everything though,” Joshua joked, trying to lighten the mood.
“Yea, remind me to pass you Seungcheol’s credit card…” Jeonghan noted.
Jeonghan and Joshua watched adoringly as you started laughing softly between the tears that were still streaming down your face. Especially under the moonlight, even when crying, you looked so beautiful to them. Subconsciously, you all knew that everything would be okay. One day, you will be able to look back at this moment as the beginning of one of the most memorable journeys of your life.
᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃
ִ ࣪𖤐 If there is only one thing in the world we can be sure of, it’s that we will always belong with each other.
Time flies when you’re really busy. Since that fateful night, many things have happened. Obviously, you applied and were accepted into the scholarship programme. Corresponding with new professors, housing applications, visas, and a whole bunch of packing then commenced. Before you knew it, you were supposed to be leaving tomorrow.
You gripped the jacket you were folding more tightly at the thought. Noticing your apprehension, Jeonghan and Joshua walked over to you. They placed their hands above yours.
“You will be okay. We’ll be okay. You’ll always be our only little girl no matter what,” Jeonghan gently reminded you.
“Yea! We’re just a text away. Whatever you need, no matter how small. Just text or call us. We’ll even hop on a plane and fly to you if you need us,” Joshua quipped.
Sucking in a deep breath, you nodded trying not to fixate on your nerves. Still, it was hard because you knew they were just as nervous as you about the whole situation.
Jeonghan sighed, knowing that even words would not reassure any of you now. Peering out the window, he let out a chuckle, “Maybe we should take a break. The sun is setting right now. Shall we go to our usual spot and watch the sunset? We can resume packing later.”
Joshua nodded enthusiastically at Jeonghan’s words, “what do you say Princess?”
“Oh I don’t know…” you stammered.
Jeonghan rolled his eyes and lightly grabbed your hand, “Come on Angel. Let’s go.”
Joshua snickered, following behind Jeonghan who was dragging you down the stairs. Once you all reached the park, Jeonghan let go of your hand and bolted forward.
Jeonghan screamed, “Last one to the swing is a rotten egg!”
Joshua whined, running after Jeonghan immediately, “Hannie you big cheater!”
Your eyes softened as you watched Jeonghan and Joshua run towards your spot at the netted swing under the tree. It will be a long time again before you will return to this spot. But you had no regrets about the decision you made.
Sure, you all still had a long way to go. Your journey was still at the beginning. You were sure that there would be just as many hardships as celebratory moments. Let those come. You had faith you, Jeonghan, and Joshua would be able to deal with it along the way.
Jeonghan and Joshua noticed you weren’t running behind them. They slowed down, turned back, and yelled, waving you over to them. Beaming at them, you shoved those thoughts to the back of your mind.
Right now, you knew you should just embrace the uncertainty of the future because you were certain that the three of you would be okay. No matter how far apart you all are, you will always find your way back to them. Watching Jeonghan and Joshua wave you over, the rest of your surroundings blurred. You could only see, and feel yourself running towards them as you made a mental note to yourself - Don’t worry, for our souls are forever intertwined.
And so, just like the blooming rose bush, your relationship will continue to hold strong, come what may.
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The sky above the cemetery was heavy, like a low blanket of gray clouds, soaked with eternal cold. There was almost no wind, only a faint breeze touching the branches of the old trees. Between the moss-covered graves there were narrow paths through the wet grass and leaves. Time seemed to have stopped here: there was silence everywhere, broken only by the rustling of leaves underfoot and the occasional cawing of crows perched on the stone angels who had long since stopped guarding their people. The tombstones stretched away, stretching along the low fence, almost blending in with the grayness of the surrounding world.
"Regulus Black, heir of the great and ancient house of Black."
The stone was smooth, as if polished by the wind and rain itself.
No date, no epitaph. Just a name, like a label on something that no longer mattered to the world. The stove seemed too simple for a name that carried the weight of an ancient lineage, a name that was meant to be remembered through the ages. And yet here it was - lonely, silent, like Regulus himself, gone into oblivion before he could leave a trace.
Only the faint floral scent of flowers, still fresh, broke the sense of abandonment, as a reminder that someone still remembered, still came to visit
Barty, who visited this cemetery more often than his own home, bent down slightly to stroke the headstone
Barty's touch was gentle, as if in that silent moment between the dead and the living he felt Regulus' presence more vividly than ever. He knelt before the grave, his knees sinking into the raw ground, but he didn't care. The cold seeped through his clothes, but it made him feel even closer to Regulus.
"You killed me, Regulus."
Barty whispered, his voice barely audible over the stillness.
"You killed me and now I'm dead. I wish you'd let me lie with you, but you're not there, are you? You're not there. Tell me what I should do, my love. Tell me how I'm supposed to wake up knowing you're so far away."
"I followed you everywhere, you know? I'd do anything for you. And I did, didn't I? Why you disappeared so soon, why you didn't let me come with you."
"I can't let you go," Barty whispered, his voice breaking. "I've tried, but I can't. I lost everything that mattered because of you, and I'd lose it all again if it meant I could have you back. If only for a moment."
Tears blurred his vision, but he brushed them away.
Barty lifted his head from the headstone, wiping the wetness from his eyes with the back of his hand. He stared at the grave for a long time, lost in thought, until something caught his eye-a movement just to the side, where the headstones cast long, dark shadows in the gray light.
There, ridiculously close to Regulus's grave, laid a black, ugly dog. How had he not noticed it at the first glance? His fur was piled up, slick with rain and mud, and he blended into the darkness of the graveyard as if he belonged there. The dog was very still, its body pressed protectively against the stone, as if guarding the place where Regulus lay.
It looked at Barty with its gray eyes.
Gray, gray, gray, gray, Regulus had gray eyes
"'Go away, mutt" He muttered. " Go on, get out of here."
The dog didn't even move, but continued to stare at Barty, burning a hole in him with his sharp gaze.
Barty's heart raced at the sight of the dog's eyes, piercing, almost humane gray eyes that sent a chill down his spine. He took a step back, his breath catching in his throat.
"I said get out of here!" Barty's voice was louder now, filled with frustration.
The dog shifted slightly but made no move to leave.
"Get away from him!" he shouted, his voice cracking under the weight of his emotions. "If you're so damn hungry go find another grave, there's no one here, you hear me. It's fucking empty. This grave is empty. Get the fuck outta here. You ain't even gonna find no bones to chew on, you little shit, you hear me? Fuck you, go lie on another grave, there are plenty of them."
Low growl cut through Barty's rage like a knife, piercing him to the core. The sound was deep and harsh and guttural, with an almost primal hostility. The dog's eyes, unblinking and intense, seemed to narrow as it met Barty's fury face to face.
Barty's hands clenched into fists, knuckles white.
The dog bared his teeth, the growl turned to an even louder angry bark , and Barty stepped back involuntarily. A wave of frustration and helplessness swept over him, an overpowering feeling that even in this place he could not find peace.
With a shuddering breath, Barty turned away, his shoulders slumping under the weight of his emotions. “Fine,” he said, his voice barely more than a whisper, hoarse and broken. “Stay here if you want".
He took one last look at the dog, who had settled back to the ground, his gaze still fixed on him, but no longer so defiantly. Barty walked slowly away.
The dog stayed perfectly still for a long moment, its body pressed close to the headstone as though it sought some warmth from the cold stone.
The scent of roses, carried by a faint breeze, mingled with the earthy odor of damp cemetery ground. His ears twitched at the sound of distant footsteps, but he remained still, his attention fixed on the grave.
"Sirius, please, let's go home."
A voice called out to him from behind.
