Mochi Fic Recs - Tumblr Posts

themochiverse

1 year ago

I have no words—

THE WAY JUNGKOOK IS, I-I CANT. Your writing is delectable, it’s a whole feast and I will never EVER get tired of consuming the work you produce. I’m giving you a lifetime worth of kisses ✨and hugs ✨and a bundle of emotions✨. I love you 💖and your writing, agh, what I’m feeling right now after reading this 🫢 you will not understand. BUT THIS IS SO GOOD, MAKING ME LOSE MY MIND OMG ARI, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. NEVER STOP WRITING.

I swear I feel so different right now. And btw the way you wrote Jungkook is actually so scary and unnerving cause I swear if I was in that situation, idk what I would have done 😭.

— hangman ღ

number: unknown. pt 2.

pairing: jungkook x reader

genre: strangers to lovers

warnings: dead dove, smoking, manipulation, corruption, allusions to depression and anxiety, allusions to past familial abuse, kidnapping, drugging, hints of fear kink (mind games, mentions & threats of snuff and necrophilia), allusions to cnc, mentions of stalking, angst, obsession, dub con, humiliation, praise, choking, possessiveness, outdoor sex, rough sex, dirty talk, use of triggering words in an erotic and degrading manner* (listed under the cut), creampie, mindbreak (??? a tiny bit), aftercare, mentions of murder and corpses, revenge themes, softer towards the end

*use of the word “rapist”.

masterlist

It's been three weeks since Jungkook has started seeing you in clubs. Five weeks of silence since the last phone call. It didn't take too long for you to let your guard down, a tempting invitation for a predator like him. Were you passing time drinking, hoping he would finally come around and see where you've been hiding? Terrified of the moment fantasy bleeds into reality, but unable to resist its pull?

He didn't have to wait long to find out.

He caught when you were walking home, heart throbbing the moment he finally felt your warmth. The thick shadows of the alley concealed your bodies, and if anyone were to walk by, they'd see nothing but a pair of lovers embracing in the dark.

No one would notice the cloth damp from chloroform pressed into your mouth, or the way his voice made your frightened form soften in his arms.

"It's okay," he shushed. "It's just me, baby..."

A monster familiar was better than a beast unknown.

"I'm sorry, I just need you to take a nap. I'll take care of you. I promise."

He pressed his lips into your forehead, stroking your hair as you limped in his hold, less conscious by the minute. A kiss goodnight, marking your departure to the empty dreamland that swallowed you whole.

Jungkook scooped you up, carried you to his car, then laid you down at the back before starting the engine.

The drive was smooth, the roads long and dark, inky outlines of trees thickening as they stretched forward. The little dress you wore barely covered your legs, prompting Jungkook to turn the heating on; even if his jacket already kept you warm.

Two hours later, you began to stir.

Your eyes opened, hazy from sleep and the drug still running through your system. Your consciousness fluttered awake slowly, along with all of your senses. You registered the feeling of Jungkook's heat blanketing you, his arm tight around your waist, keeping you tucked into his chest. You registered the weight of his hand cradling your cheek, and the smell of his cologne, mingling with leather.

"Had a good nap?" He murmured, his breath tickling your lips.

You blinked a few times, taking in the dimness of his car, and then the hooded eyes staring right into yours.

As if the reality of the situation just dawned on you, you startled, an incomprehensible protest fleeing your mouth. Your body seemed too weak to fight, however, and your mind wasn't in a much better place.

Jungkook buried his face in your neck when you jumped, brushing his nose along the smooth skin.

"Sorry, baby. I know you're tired, and we haven't seen each other in so long—" he whispered. "I've been going crazy without you."

You shivered promptly, your brain still muddled and heart thumping in your chest. You had no idea what was going on and you were afraid to find out. Pride out the window, there was no denying that fact.

"But that's why tonight's a special occasion," Jungkook continued, still whispering. He lifted his head, the tip of his nose bumping into yours.

"You know I'd do anything for you. Tonight I need you to do something for me."

You swallowed thickly. You wished you had the energy to slap him, kick him, bite him; but you felt too heavy.

"Go to hell," was all you managed, raspy and weak.

Jungkook laughed. The sound made your blood boil. Fighting back only ever seemed to encourage his depraved nature, and it was humiliating, somehow, if not utterly discouraging.

"Hell is wherever I have to live without you," he mumbled into your cheek, "and trust me when I tell you, baby, you're never getting away from me again."

Your stomach sank, reaching depths you had no idea were possible. You watched him slip away from you to get out of the car, and the cold air that poured in wasn't the only reason your legs started shaking.

Like a gentleman, he reached for your hand and helped you out, most likely aware of how weak your knees felt. He steadied you against the door, letting you take in the dense woods surrounding you, the grim sight of empty branches twisting into the autumn sky.

You tried to not let the worst scenarios flood your head, yet it was a difficult wave to hold off; and impossible to run from.

"Where are we?"

Jungkook reached into his pocket.

"Out of town, little doe."

A glimmer of silver among the dark scenery caught your attention. You found yourself going rigid, staring at the shovel laying on the damp ground.

A click had your head snapping down. The barrel of a gun brushed against your hip, tender, like a lover's touch.

"Wanna get to work?"

The world tilted off its axis, your blood running cold, ice as blue as your veins.

You were going to die.

There was a small part of you that seemed to crack at the thought, prompting tears to burn your eyes. It wanted you to cry, plead him to stop and just take you home, to bed, so you could sleep it all away.

Yet a bigger part of you felt somehow betrayed. He touched something dark inside of you, fed it until it bloomed, and now that you were so damaged he wanted you six feet under?

Jungkook bit his lip, a meek attempt at holding back a smile.

"Don't look at me like that. Not every girl gets to dig her own grave, you know. I even bought you flowers."

Still and silent as a statue, you didn't answer. The lump in your throat was too thick, the static in your head growing louder.

Jungkook leaned in, his gun languidly caressing your hip and plush lips teasing your ear.

"Here's your noose, baby. Are you ready for it?"

Your noose...

Were you supposed to trust him with it?

You were walking forward before you realized it, fists clenched and steps unsteady. You could have spent hours running through the woods, and you still wouldn't be able to escape him. Whether this was a sick game or your last night breathing, there was no denying that fact, either.

"You know what?" you snapped, grabbing the shovel, "I would rather die than spend another minute here with you."

You still tried to blink your tears away, refusing to give him the satisfaction, the last shreds of your dignity. You shoved the sharp edge of the tool into the earth, vision blurred.

"I would rather die than ever see you again."

You were too busy throwing away the dirt, then digging in to gather more, to notice the way Jungkook's jaw tensed.

"I would rather be in the ground, than be around a psycho freak like you!"

The louder your voice rose, the more your throat ached, tears spilling over despite all your efforts. Your hands trembled, though you continued to dig, completely disregarding seeing Jungkook walking towards you.

"Wow. I would watch your mouth if I were you, honey," he warned lowly, stopping a few inches behind you.

The shovel struck the earth again, a chill crawling down your spine.

"Ever gotten off to snuff porn?"

You froze, wide eyes staring into the ruined ground before you.

Jungkook ran his finger down your back, making you shiver.

"Well, I haven't. But I might start soon, with my personal little movie star, if you're not gonna be a good fucking girl."

The implication had your mouth instantly shut. You couldn't bear to turn around and look at him, or even run. Rooted to the place you stood in, withering away, like the trees that trapped you.

Jungkook snaked his arms around your waist, the gun still in his hand, flat against your abdomen.

"I don't like it when you lie, baby," he muttered, placing a kiss on your neck.

Your head was spinning strangely, shallow breaths leaving your lungs.

"Bet your pussy's wet. Probably been wet since I grabbed you. Bet it's clenching right now and you can't stand it, so you choose to be a fucking bitch... As always."

He kissed your neck again, hot and breathy against your skin. Your knees almost buckled.

"You're so fucking dirty. Do you want me to snuff you out? Hmm?"

It was disgusting, the filth he spouted, the way he pressed himself closer to you, hard beneath his jeans. The way your tummy churned was worse, heat radiating on your skin despite the insistent brushes of the frigid wind.

"Want me to fuck you into that grave?" He sighed out, his own breathing unsteady.

You couldn't stop the tears, silent and hot, flowing in tandem with the slick sticking to your underwear. You still felt drugged out, your outburst doing nothing but leaving you hollow. Tiredness was beginning to take over, numbness spreading through your bones.

Maybe Jungkook was right. You were no better than him; aggression remaining your only self defense when left vulnerable. But now that it has faded, a quiet, devastating acceptance was starting to settle in.

You hated him — because you hated yourself. You wanted to be normal, to heal from the things that broke you. And every attempt ended in failure. Instead of encouraging you to try again, or critizing, Jungkook was the only person who wanted you as you were.

In pieces.

He didn't mind getting cut on the shards. In fact, it seemed he'd be ecstatic to bleed for you, offer you everything he had. Toxic and twisted, no end to his devotion.

"Keep digging," he said hoarsely, then took a step back.

Like he was trying to stay in control. You obeyed, sniffling quietly as you bent down to pick up the shovel.

He told you once that not everyone was made for this world; and you clearly weren't, but that was okay... because you were made for him. That you could keep trying to fit in and keep failing if you wanted — or let him in.

You didn't, and he crept inside anyway; a tender violence.

At this point, you didn't care much if you died or not. At least everything would be over. In the end, you didn't have much to wake up for.

Jungkook lit up a cigarette. He drank in the sight of sweat shining on your skin in the dim light of the moon, the shift in your demeanor as you continued digging.

"Easy," he called, blowing out smoke. "Don't hurt yourself, darling. That's my job. It doesn't need to be that deep."

You ignored him, no longer in the mood to talk. Or to provoke him any further, for that matter. Your arms almost trembled as the hole in the ground grew deeper, whether from strain or nerves, it was hard to tell. The thought of your body laying in the dirt, cold and forgotten, felt both unsettling and peaceful. Like nothing mattered anymore.

Jungkook watched you struggle, fingers stiff around the shovel, and yet you kept digging, the scattered pile of dirt behind you increasing. It seemed like he was pissed off, but finishing his cigarette soothed the fire, while noting how pale you've begun to turn put it out altogether.

He threw the bud away and jumped off the hood of his car to walk over to you. His hand settled on your waist, pulling you up, while the other took a hold of his shovel.

"That's enough," he murmured, dropping it aside with a small thump. "Good girl."

You let yourself melt into death's arms.

Your head lolled to the side, exposing the expanse of your neck, unconsciously giving Jungkook the access he wanted. He kissed the tender flesh, squeezing your hips, still hard and hot beneath his jeans.

"The end is always a new beginning, baby."

You sighed, mascara wet and heavy on your lashes. Gently, Jungkook turned you around to face him, wiping the dark streaks from your face.

"I love you so much," he breathed into your lips.

His body was solid against yours. Your only source of warmth. Dizzy, you barely had the chance to glance up at him before he kissed you, swallowing your shaky exhale.

You let out a mellow squeal when his hands traveled down your legs, gripping your thighs to lift you with ease. For the first time you found yourself clinging to him, kissing him back with equal hunger instead of denial. You wanted to forget the world around you, the grave you've dug for yourself, much earlier than tonight.

Jungkook took a step, then another, before giving up entirely and lowering you down beside it, disconnecting your lips from his only the moment he hovered above you.

Pupils blown out, hair soft and messy, he cupped your cheek, his heart thumping right against yours.

"Are you scared?" He asked softly, his thumb still wiping at your tears.

You stared up at him, trying to hold on to reality, but your grip was slipping, and he was the only lifeline you had left. He stirred up the muddy waters in your heart, agitated the unbridled, starving things within their depths.

"Is this a punishment?" you found yourself uttering, barely a whisper, all your dry throat could manage.

Jungkook cocked his head to the side, his gaze flicking between your eyes and your lips.

"Mm, not really. Just a little game, to end all our other games. And start something new."

You didn't know what to think or feel anymore, your hair splayed out on the ground, so cold beneath you, Jungkook's heat bleeding into your skin from above, and the world spinning.

You smacked his arm when he dipped down to mouth at your neck again; drained, the distorted hands under the water still reaching to pull him under with the remnants of your anger. He laughed, as though he found it adorable, immediately grabbing your face to kiss you again.

He didn't hesitate for a second, unzipping his jeans with one hand, and you could feel your core quiver against your better judgement. It was surprising to find that there was still some clarity left in you; or maybe it was easier to make peace with death than with the fact that you were your own traitor.

"Want me to fuck you in it?" Jungkook breathed, forcing your thighs apart.

You couldn't help the way your gaze fell down to his inked hand, wrapped around his cock. He tapped it against your inner thigh impatiently, precum wetting your skin. You clenched around thin air, spine tingling.

"The grave," he clarified, smirking.

The words finally hit you, and you shook your head, your hands frantically pushing at his chest.

"No!" you cried out, nails almost slashing his neck.

Jungkook grunted, pushing back, leaning his entire weight on you to put an end on your antics. Your breath hitched when you felt his fingers dip inside your underwear, pulling it aside abruptly. He didn't comment on how drenched the flimsy material was. The moment you were exposed, he was pushing inside you, incapable of focusing on anything but the warmth of your cunt.

The tight hole stretched so nicely to accommodate him, twitching around his cock. He groaned into your mouth, and your thighs shuddered around him, a restless heat boiling deep in your gut.

"You're so wet," he moaned, pulling back to feel the ring of muscles clench against his flushed tip, try to suck him back in.

He shivered at the feeling, then proceeded to fuck himself in and out of you like he needed; like you both did. Hard.

"You're a filthy fucking minx, I shouldn't ask you anything unless I'm inside you. Your pussy won't lie to me, hm?"

Despite the whines he coaxed out of your throat, you shook your head, every wet slap of his cock thrusting inside you echoing through the woods. Imprinting on your brain.

"Oh yeah? How about we rewind a little, baby?"

He fucked you faster, angling his hips to find that little spot that made your mouth fall open. He wasn't going to go easy on it, or on you, chasing the high.

"What's gotten you so soaked?" He managed, panting. "Did you like the thought of me snuffing you out?"

Cheeks aflame, a choked out protest; and yet your pussy was getting tighter, soaking the thick grith pounding into it.

Jungkook let out a sound akin to a whimper, eyebrows scrunching.

"Fuck, I know you did," he leaned his forehead on yours, feeling his cock throb inside you. "I know how much you want my cum, screaming or dead or asleep. And if I could live without you, baby, I'd do it for you, keep you so full of me."

It was a revolting insinuation, but you couldn't tell the difference between nausea and an approaching orgasm making your stomach flip.

Jungkook's lips brushed against yours, a deep groan rumbling out.

"That's it. Let it go. Let it all go, angel."

This was the way he wanted you to fall apart; on his big cock, tasting the kind of euphoria nothing and no one but him could offer. He felt his balls tighten, heavy as they slammed against you, almost ready to spill everything he had.

"Mm—" a sigh, a pause, hips grinding as his hand clutched your neck, feeling your pulse jump. "Yeah."

A drop of sweat slipped down his temple. Beautiful, with a mouth that dripped depravity, he might as well have had two little horns growing out of his head, a forked tongue hidden under the illusion of humanity.

He resumed his ruthless pace, unwilling to let you look away, dissociate from him. In fact, the way you squirmed under him, succumbing to the rush, pliant and loud and you cried, had him choking you harder, crushing the rest of your pride.

"Close?" He bit down on your lower lip, pulling on it. "What do you think your friends would say if they saw you like this?" He husked, his hand crawling up your chest. "Getting fucked out in the woods... by your stalker. Do you think they would be surprised?"

He fondled you over the soft material of the dress, focused on nothing but pumping you full of him. You felt like heaven, and your tight little cunt responded to his words, even if you didn't want to, fluttering and releasing more slick.

"They shouldn't be," he swallowed harshly, watching your eyes fall closed. "They don't know you at all. Don't know how much you like this cock forcing you open."

For the first time that night, it was clear that your thighs weren't trembling from fear. That greedy, soaked pussy wasn't letting him go, and Jungkook was tipping towards the edge, no filter on his thoughts anymore.

"But I know," his head fell into your neck, a hot mumble striking your skin. "You're such a good girl, such a good fucking girl, and such a dirty fucking whore, just for me— aaahhh, fuck."

There it was; his favorite way of getting to you. Kissing, biting and licking at your monsters until they'd submit, recognizing him as one of their own. His cock liked it too, the way you fell to pieces under him, back arched and hands digging into his shoulders.

"I feel you, baby," he groaned, "knew you'd cream my cock. That's all you can think about, isn't it?"

You whimpered, delirious, though it still sounded like a 'no', a cute, little lie to ward off your guilt. For some reason, it turned Jungkook on more. He lifted his head and sucked at your lower lip, rutted into you harder.

"Go on, baby," he breathed, "cream it. No need to be shy, you're already mine."

A trail of sloppy, possessive kisses marked your neck, electricity trickling through your spine, shooting straight through your pussy.

"My prettiest baby, my only girl," Jungkook babbled drunkenly. "Go on, do it for me."

Eyes hooded, locking on yours, his voice lowering to a shaky whisper.

"Yeah... Come on your rapist's cock."

You unraveled like his word was holy, clamping down on him and ripping a hoarse groan out of his throat. He fucked you through it anyway, too close to the edge to stop his own fall; his cock throbbed, spurt after spurt of hot cum filling your ruined hole, so deep and so good his eyes rolled back.

He swore filthily, knees like cotton and his hand digging into your throat, staking his claim, the rush too sweet not to let it linger. It flowed through his entire body, pulsing and warm, like the sun. It flowed through yours too, imploding, and wiping out the rest of existence. As far as you were aware, Jungkook was all that was left.

You didn't feel anything else; not the passage of time, nor the cold air grazing your arms. Only his lips, leaving kiss after kiss on your face, muttering praises you could barely make out with your mind numbed out.

You weren't sure how long you've spent laying there, his cum leaking out of you, bones like jelly and skin sticky. At last floating in the dark, like fog, and still being kissed all over, your flesh existing only where his lips touched.

By the time he pulled you up, you didn't have the capacity to wonder what was going to happen next.

So why were you crying again?

You even didn't notice until Jungkook sat you on the hood of his car, cupping your cheeks.

"No more, baby," he pleaded. "Relax. I've got you."

You were so tired.

You wished you could lie down and sleep, but Jungkook reached for the hem of your dress, inching it up.

"I'm gonna need this."

Your heart flipped. Still, you were too out of it to protest or ask why.

Goosebumps flooded your skin as he took the clothing off you, gently, leaving you in nothing but your underwear.

As if shutting down, you stayed there; once again, unmoving. You listened to the trunk pop open, stuck on the odd rustling sound that followed. If you weren't shivering due to the cold, it definitely would be due to the loud thud that came, making you flinch.

More rustling.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Jungkook dragging something towards you, a faint, unpleasant smell of blood reaching your nose.

Your stomach turned.

You stared at the bag, and he stared at you, unceremoniously dropping your dress on the wrapped up corpse.

Perhaps it was the way you gasped that had him reaching out, the same hands that took a life massaging your bare sides to comfort you.

"Close your eyes for the next part, baby," he whispered.

His nose bumped into yours. You felt your lower lip tremble, but still did as he asked.

"Good girl," he praised.

Frowning, you attempted to make some sense of what was happening, attempted to keep your heart from jumping to your throat.

It did anyway.

Sensing your distress, Jungkook kissed your lips.

"Remember a girl called Jia?"

No more pounding, or skipping beats. Everything seemed to come to a halt, including your heart.

Jungkook squeezed your waist. His voice remained quiet, a ghost in the wind.

"Not a pretty sight."

Inhale.

Exhale.

He took a hold of your trembling hand, leaving a loving kiss on each knuckle.

"Tonight, you die, baby," he murmured, the next kiss landing on your temple. "And nothing bad will ever happen to you again. Just you and me, yeah?"

The tears that fell were different now. Something broke. But it felt like release.

The soothing warmth of his hands vanished, and you kept your eyes closed. Even as the bag rustled and the stench got worse, even as another thud echoed through the empty woods.

How did he know?

Somehow, it still surprised you. Somehow, you couldn't bear to disobey him as he filled the grave you dug up, burying the biggest nightmare of your past. The so called family that had torn your life and soul apart.

There was no doubt in your mind that if he found her, he found him, too.

You listened to the metal strike the earth again, dirt gathering on top of her corpse. Clad in your dress, butchered, rendering her unrecognizable. Teeth, face, hands — ruined.

Jungkook had thought of everything, it seemed. A perfect crime. The only traces of DNA left? Yours. Whatever still lingered on that little black dress.

As of tonight...

You were were dead.

Jungkook threw the shovel away, huffing, then made his way back towards the car. He heaved a sigh and pulled you in, held you close, sheltering you from the rest of the world.

Your fingers wrapped around the fabric of his sleeve, squeezing.

Jungkook acknowledged the gesture by kissing the top of your head, eyes closed. There was no rush, really, besides the longing to finally take you home and get into bed to sleep.

No more games. No more pain.

The end was always a new beginning.

taglist 💌: @baalsgurl1913 @httpsbts @hoseokshobagi @pynkgothicka @ar14dna @sweetempathprunetree @blueberryarchive @messyjk @themochiverse @minyoongiboongi @chimmisbae @crisle19 @bangtans-momma @get-that-brain-working @babycandy111 @mother2monsters @whipwhoops @svnbangtansworld @ane102 @stellalovesstarss @jksteponme @httpjeonlicious

Tags :

mochi fic recs dead dove this was just so fucking good

969 notes View Post

themochiverse

1 year ago

HELLOOO?? This is so fucking good, def excited for more parts!!

TRAPPED - JJK

you were trapped badly

you just couldn't understand where you messed up to have the Jeon jungkook obsessed with you. He was the type of guy no one wanted to mess with and you made sure to keep your distance and be practically invisible to just graduate peacefully.

oh how you wanted to laugh at that thought now

you were in your bed curled up, softly crying while clutching your phone which was blasting up with calls and texts from jungkook.

open the window pretty - 1:03 am

his text read. you closed your eyes shut tightly, a few tears escaping along the way. You knew you were playing with fire by not picking his calls up and not listening to him.

he was a monster

you still remember how he brutally beat up a guy for simply confessing to you. He almost killed him, if it wasn't for you crying and begging him to not do so.

And how could he just watch his baby cry over a stupid stupid boy?

of course he killed him.

but you don't know that.

slowly getting up from the bed you made your way towards the window and softly opened it-your phone still in your hand. Your eyes fell on the figure of jungkook leaning against his black sports car, his arms folded against his chest flexing his biceps. His eyes burning in anger looking directly at you; in contrast to his calm composure.

oh you were im trouble

you flinched when the phone in your hand started ringing and it was none other than him calling you while daring you to not pick up with his eyes.

picking up you couldn't utter a single word it was just your scared body, heavily breathing with a few tears escaping your eyes and dried up tears lingering on to your cheek, looking at him.

"you want a punishment that bad sweetheart?" his deep voice asked and you wanted nothing more than to slam the window shut and curl up in your bed praying he goes away.

"I- no" you pathetically stuttered and wished he heard you "I was asleep and didn't see your texts and calls- im sorry" you rushed to apologise after lying praying that he understands and leaves you alone.

"my baby was asleep, huh? sugar you can sleep all you want but at my place. I thought I had made myself clear"

"jungkook-" you sucked in a breath, his name tasting bitter on your tongue. how were you supposed to make him understand? "My parents won't ever allow that please"

"and you know i can make that no longer a problem"

this made your mind race at a hundred miles, what was he going to do? Was he going to-

"I'm giving you two choices, you either get your pretty little ass here or I'm gonna come up there and you know how that will end"

no no just no you felt like you could cry a river all over again, "please" you meekly let out while clutching your eyes tight

"so you want me to come get you" he nodded to himself and detached his leaned form from the car.

"no- l'm coming"

"that's like my good girl"

Tags :

mochi fic recs

2K notes View Post

themochiverse

1 year ago

I swear I reblogged this before?? Anyways, came to re-read this master piece again cuz I def hate Jungkook like— he killed the unborn baby 😧

I swear the angst in this..literally felt chills, can’t wait for more!

Rotten

Pairing : Alcoholic/drugaddict Jungkook x female reader

Summary : Jungkook wiped the thick tears on her cheeks while his own slid down. The blood. It wasn't just blood, it was the life you both had created and he had destroyed just moments ago. He had overdone it all. In the daze of anger and alcohol. He had fucked up, he knew. It was your birthday and he had given you his rotten gift.

Warning : Unhealthy Angst, Violence, Physical abuse, slapping, kicking, cursing, arguing, mention of alcohol and drugs, drug abuse, no smut but very slight tension, they have a baby, implied miscarriage, implied killing, Jungkook is insane but tad bit emotional at the end.

WordCount : 2139

Main Masterlist

It was starkly dark, the room was unlit except for the faint glow of the television which casted across the room.

The colours from the screen flickered over your glistening eyes, lashes droopy, deprived of sleep. You rubbed your eyelids with the back of your hand, smearing more of your mascara.

You sat there on the pathetic couch. Your face seemed solemn but you were anything but.

You were enraged.

Absolutely enraged

The only thing that refrained your nerves from bursting was the little baby tucked on your lap. You stroked her little hair as she blithely slept after fisting on your milk. She was the only thing that kept you sane at this point. So you kept her close instead of putting her in the crib.

You sighed heavily, shoulders slumping down making the thin strap of your camisole dangle down your shoulder blade.

Your eyes darted around, falling on the round dining table at the other end of the drawing room. Faint light fell on the tulips, gloom casting on the poor blooms. The candles remained unlit, their purpose and your hopes of having a special candle light dinner going in wane. The food was untouched, by now, cold and covered and so was the cake you had baked with so much love. If this could not depict your ruined dinner, then you didn't know what could.

It was your birthday and you had planned everything down to the last detail. It was a very special evening. You wanted everything to be perfect for the little celebration. You had adorned your babygirl in a cute black dress much similar to your shimmery one and then you had waited in utter excitement and anticipation.

Awaited for your husband's arrival so that you could finally celebrate together.

Waited for Jungkook.

Yet, as the time ticked away, your previous eagerness simmered. Before you knew it, the clock had struck two and Jungkook still hadn’t returned home.Your special day was gone, leaving no souvenirs except the hopelessness grating your insides.

You didn't worry, didn't panic because you were very much aware where he would be. Not like he worked late office hours, he didn't. He didn't need to work in the first place, simply because his parents stuffed his back pockets well. He was a spoiled son. Absolutely rotten. So much that you knew he would be rotting in some high class club, completely and utterly wasted, to remember your birthday or even remember you.

Devastatingly or not, you knew that he didn't care. He didn't care that it was your special day, didn't think it was worth enough to not forget. And you knew he’d forget, so the prior day, you had reminded him, begged him to be present at least this one night and still he wasn't. You were a fool to think he’d prioritize you over his addiction.

You had called and texted him too but they were unanswered, finally your patience had run out and you had thrown your phone and thrown your dress off too.

Anger dripped from your heart. Sad tears stuck to the tip of your lashes. You had never felt so betrayed and you had never welcomed the urge to confront someone as much as you did now.

You neither ate nor slept. Iseul didn't go to sleep either, busy mingling with her toys and engrossed in the drama that played on tv and waiting for her father too. It was later, you decided to put her to sleep when her head nodded off a few times. You resisted to fall asleep, not before the fury of frustration burning in you was extinguished.

You were so done with him, you had always brushed off his mistakes but not this time, you were determined to confront him, even if it made your heart gnawed with unsettling feelings.

It was 13 past 3 when you heard the rustling of keys and door opening. The unpleasant smell of alcohol diffused in air as his dark frame walked in. He just stood there like a black shadow. Instead of questioning him the very moment, you just glared at him as he began to saunter around the room, not sparing you a single glance. Here you were yearning for an explanation, for some sort of apology while he didn't even intend to acknowledge you.

Your eyes stung and throat burned, yet you remained silent, quietly observing him, hearing the jarring of drawers being open and closed in haste, as he rummaged through each of them. Coal black locks tousled and fell all over his face, making him look more grotesque.You clutched the remote and increased the volume, to blur the noises he was making.

He murmured something and you heard it but didn't respond. He murmured again, louder and deeper this time turning his head to you, so he did notice you.

“ I said switch it off “

Why should you though?

You ignored him, glaring at the screen, finding it more interesting than listening to him.You tried not to flinch when he moved closer and bent, snatching the remote and shutting it off before throwing the remote back on the couch.

You silently gasped at his audacity, agitated beyond, you gently laid Iseul down and shifted to get the remote back, stubbornly switching on the tv.

You’d push his buttons too, like he was pushing yours.

In the periphery, you saw him swirl to you, felt his sharp eyes bore into you and next thing you knew the screen blackened. Seems like he ripped the cables off.

You blinked, blinded by the darkness, clutched the arm of the couch. Couldn't look but felt him loom closer. Gulped the tension, gulped the scream when he yanked you up to him. You winced at the feel of his cold rings digging into your skin. His face hovered over yours. Your nostrils grimaced at the heavy smell of liquor and sweat. The fact that he could stand without stumbling, even after being so intoxicated was beyond you.

“Why didn't you put her in the crib?” He rasped, voice sending chills, spurring goosebumps down your body.

“ Coming home at 3, reeking full of alcohol, you see it's you who needs to give an explanation, not me.” you hissed with exhausting anger, you hissed again when cold fingers cupped your chin, tightening and squishing your cheeks.

“Don't talk to me like that, you know I hate it.” Jungkook spat in his drunkenness, clearly on the brink of losing patience.

“ And I hate it too when you do this, you knew it was a special day, but still you fucked it up.” Your eyes glistened, beyond frustrated, fed up with him and his gall to argue with you instead of apologizing straight away, he wasn't regretful at all.

“ I said I fucking hate it when you talk like that.” He gritted lowly, heaving and sniffing, hands trembling with rage.

You tried to wiggle out of his grip, squirming and tripping in your movements but he tugged your face even closer. You stilled when you felt his nose and lips brush yours, fire stirring within you, he thought that you’d let him have his way with you after spoiling your night.

He had to be depraved to think that.

With all your might, you jerked his hand away, making him steer behind. You circled and turned the lamp on, you needed to take Iseul to another room before Jungkook did something rash.

Your hands were about to reach for her but instead retreated towards your hair, which were harshly pulled, wrenched from your scalp, you let out an ugly cry, it was painstaking.

Jungkook harshly whirled you to face him, tattooed fingers clutching your neck in a merciless choke hold. You saw nothing except white dots in your vision due to the strangled throat and agonizing hold on your hair.

“You fucking bitch. You hid my MD, didn't you? You knew I would look for it so you purposely hid it. Fucking give it to me or I swear-” Jungkook gurgled words out, struggling to handle his restlessness.

“I don't- I don't know about it. Leave me.” You whisper shouted at him, gripping his hands that held your throat and hair.

It was just minutes before he returned from the club and he already wanted to indulge in more substance abuse.

Fucking addict.

And over that, Jeon Jungkook had sunglasses on, that too in the middle of the night. How could he see through the shades in so much dark?

Intolerable piece of shit.

You were insufferably annoyed. Even though your knees were trembling from exhaustion and fear, you kept your stand.

“You bastard, you think I'll touch your filth. You’re crazy, really. And wearing those fucking glasses-”

You tried to remove those, trying to swat them off his eyes, ended up doing it with more force. It looked like you slapped him, barely though.

When his eyes met yours, you clearly saw that he had taken the offense. You froze.

“You hit me.”

His breath grew shallower, jaw clenched, deranged eyes piercing through yours dreading ones.

“How dare you fucking hit me?”

He swung his hand and slapped you hard, tugged at your hair with another hand and dragged you and swirled you to throw you in the other corner of the room, which had to be where the dining table was, you gasped in pain when your abdomen hit the side of the table, tears springing in your eyes. You clutched the spot which hurt and fell on your weak knees.

A choked sob escaped your lips as you tried to scramble further in the corner. But a strike came again, when Jungkook got to you. He wasn't done. The slap was far more harsh and hurting, making your ears ring, making your head whip in the direction of the floor.

He wasn't done.

“I told you I hate it when you talk to me like like that, question me like my fucking father.” he growled and kicked your cowering stomach. Ones, twice, thrice and you were out. Unconscious.

He panted heavily looking at your almost dead figure but his mind occupied only one thing. Needed to get it, rushed to take his next dose before he went insane. He searched everywhere, even looked around the stupidly decorated diner. Found a little wrapped thing beautifully sitting on the table, ripped it open with trembling fingers in anticipation, felt his heart beating.

Felt his heart stop.

All adrenal rush disappeared.

All the haze diminished.

In his hand was a little device, the two thin lines gnawing at him.

He turned to stare at your disheveled face, tried to resist the urge to look down there, tried to pretend that it wasn't something his rotten head was assuming.

But the faint blotch of blood on your unclothed inner thigh said it all.

What had he done?

Jungkook felt nauseous, not the kind one feels during sickness but the kind when one feels like dying.

He had drowned. Sunken himself willingly. He was already engulfed in guilt and it would never leave him.

You would never forgive him.

Jungkook flinched hearing the wails of little Iseul. Her nighttime fuss. He quickly reached to cradle her in his jittery arms, swaying her a bit. Iseul was bawling uncontrollably, asking for her mother, as if she knew something bad had happened to her mother.

Jungkook robotically walked towards the table and sat down with Iseual. His back to your lying body. Didn't let the child look your way. He wouldn't be able to contain more guilt. If there was even a tinge of sweetness in Jungkook’s rotten heart, it went for his daughter. He didn't want her to witness the remains of his recklessness. Not even in her babyhood.

Because she would also hate him.

Jungkook wiped the thick tears on her cheeks while his own slid down. The blood. It wasn't just blood, it was the life you both had created and he had destroyed just moments ago. He had overdone it all. In the daze of anger and alcohol. He had fucked up.

Jungkook pathetically reached to open the lids covering food dumbly trying to find something for Iseul to eat. More tears shed down as he found himself looking at the cake. It was your birthday.

And he had given you his gift.

His rotten gift.

Which you’ll always remember in your darkest miseries.

And he will too.

He killed his own unborn child, didn't he?

A/N: Oh my fish! I can't believe I wrote something so dark and rotten on the second day of new year. My brain poops bad sometimes.

Well…it's very very unhealthy angst, I do know. I hope you like this deranged piece of my work. Let me know what you guys feel about it. (🫣)

Please do Like, Comment and Reblog.

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