Rafe Cameron Angst - Tumblr Posts - Page 2

I'll Come Running - R.C. - Chapter 73

Rafe led his Jessie out onto the open floor, where people had been mindlessly swaying for hours to light contemporary music. They began to do the same, both gazing into the other's eyes with a warmth they hadn't felt in a while.

"It seems like the MM are doing pretty well here." Rafe spoke up, not letting go of the eye contact.

"I told you they would be just fine." Jessie replied with a soft smile. Rafe laughed and looked down, with a nod of understanding.

"You were right." He stated plainly. A little moment of silence elapsed before Rafe finally mustered up the courage to say what he had been waiting to say for years.

"Jessie..."

His wife waited patiently for his next words, raising her brows and leaning in a little more. He looked down and swallowed the lump in his throat, trying not to show his nerves. He looked back up at Jessie with a newfound seriousness that almost concerned her.

"I have something I want to give you."

Jessie knitted her brows together in clear confusion. The couple still managed to sway back and forth to the piano while Rafe carefully rummaged through his pants pocket. He eventually pulled out the tiny black box and carefully opened it, revealing the gorgeous ring that caught the warm mood lighting perfectly. Jessie's jaw dropped, but she was still confused... she already had a ring?

"This... is my mom's ring..." Rafe trailed off as he looked at his wife with hope behind his eyes. "And I want you to wear it."

"Rafe I can't-"

"She'd want you to, Jess... you're the girl she's always dreamed of for me. And if she were here right now I know she'd do the same."

Jessie choked on her words, suddenly feeling like the room was getting hotter and smaller. She looked around to see the pogues were now all standing comfortably at the bar with smiles on their faces watching the exchange. Oh god. This was not about to be pretty. She took a deep labored breath and looked back up at Rafe. However, her expression was not one of unbelief and gratitude like Rafe expected. Instead, she looked... conflicted... and a little distraught. He was now the one to wear the confusion across his face. Jessie shook her head slowly, trying to choose her next words carefully. Rafe suddenly was overwhelmed with fear of what she was going to say next. He could also feel the room getting tighter and tighter with each passing second. The ringing in his ears was too much to bear, but suddenly Jessie's voice cut right through it.

"Rafe." She spoke up just loud enough for him to hear. Her eyes were now locked on the man in front of her and her jaw was clenched. Shit. She was angry... but why? "I thought you would have come to me by now." She whispered in an eerily calm demeanor as she shook her head in disappointment.

"What do you mean?" Rafe asked, now with his brows furrowed. He was begging for her to elaborate.

"You really think I don't know?" Jessie spat, now playing with a neutral expression on her face. It looked as if she was hiding a smirk.

"Know what?" Rafe asked, clearly playing dumb. He wanted to let go of Jessie and back away slowly for fear of what was to come, yet suddenly he felt her grip tighten, as if to silently say that they were about to have this tough, ugly conversation in front of every one. She laughed as she looked down for a split second.

"About the coke." Jessie finally answered. Rafe still tried to play it off like he was clueless.

"W-what? Jessie? What coke?"

Jessie just laughed and bit her lip.

"Rafe... you really don't think I'm that stupid do you?"

She knew. Rafe realized there was no hiding it anymore. Tears began to fill his eyes and his lip began to quiver. Yet he still danced, for fear of what would happen if he stopped.

"H-how-"

"I've known for a long time now, Rafe." She interrupted. Yet her ability to never lose her cool was always what made Rafe so uneasy.

"B-but why didn't you-"

"I wanted to give you the opportunity to either fix your mistake or come to me about it... and seeing as you've done neither and clearly have no intention of telling me before putting your own mothers ring on my finger... I can't let it slide by anymore. I won't."

Rafe struggled to breathe. All he could utter were two simple words.

"How long?"

Ironically, Jessie's face still showed some sort of odd sympathy, yet Rafe knew it was all an act for the party going on around them. She cupped his face in her hand, which now felt ice cold to him, much like her calculated words.

"I've know the whole time."

Rafe still couldn't catch his breath, now just standing there with his mouth wide open and his eyes searching for any sign of understanding from the woman he loved. He wouldn't find any.

"I knew you were strung out the night we had dinner out on the patio at the Bahamas. I knew you were on coke the night we fought in my old apartment. I knew you were high the night of our little dinner party with the shareholders, and every time in between, Rafe."

Rafe was now shaking at the realization that Jessie was not bluffing. Then again, she never did. He couldn't find many words.

"H-how did you-"

"Rafe..." she interrupted, this time with a smirk that wasn't trying to be hidden. "I know you..." she whispered. God, she was right. Rafe thought how could he be so stupid, thinking Jessie couldn't see right through him this whole time? "I know you better than anyone in this world... I know you better than you know yourself... and that's always been what makes us and what breaks us."

Rafe felt like he was going to puke. Jessie was unpredictable... almost unreadable in the moment. Yet the party continued around them, with nobody having any clue what hell just broke loose between the matriarch and patriarch of this party.

"Rafe..." Jessie went on, toying with a grin. "This whole time you've felt the need to tell me how to play this game. Telling me how I need to act, what I need to say, and how I need to move strategically in order to give our family a shot at a better life ... you still think I'm some hot head who's always going to say what I think and not consider the consequences of my actions..." Jessie paused, licking her lips and allowing Rafe to hang on to her every word. She still swayed to the music in perfect frame. She pushed her eyebrows together as she locked eyes with her husband.

"I know exactly how to play this game. Don't you ever think for one damn second I don't know what it means to hold my tongue for the sake of someone I love." She said, this time her eyes shifted to a darkness he hadn't seen before. It was a rage that she had masked for god knows how long. Jessie had Rafe in the palm of her hand, and he could feel her starting to crush his facade slowly, all while maintaining hers. This. This moment right here, was exactly what her upbringing had prepared her for. Rafe had never seen anyone... not even him... not even his father... with the ability to read people like Jessie did. It was her sixth sense.

The words made Rafe's heart stop. He was convinced it actually would have if he hadn't still been somehow standing up. He felt Jessie finally drop his hand in the middle of the dance floor and walk away. He stood there with his feet planted on the floor as he watched Jessie slide right past the Pogues to get a glass of champagne from the bar like nothing had happened, the gentle sway of her backless dress now emphasized by her loose hips. There she was... still playing the game too damn well. She uttered a few words to her brother and whisked herself away. Rafe just watched as she calmly exited through the grand doors. He had no clue what to do.

The fact that Jessie just waltzed out of the room as if she hadn't just dropped a bomb on his life was the first thing that came to his numb mind. Suddenly, his insecurity turned to downright storm clouds behind his eyes. Although he needed to stay and entertain, he knew he wouldn't be able to, not with the anger that was impossible for him to hide. He seethed at the idea of her sauntering back into their home, feeling accomplished with the way she left him and him having to go on with the night and explain why she wasn't there. Now he was the one who felt like he was a pawn that his wife was clearly in control of. How the tables had turned.

He shouldn't have been as infuriated as he was considering that he had been keeping just as big of a secret— if not bigger— from his wife. Yet he couldn't ignore the burning in his chest and the fire in his brain. He took short breaths and clinched his fists together, trying his damndest not to let anyone there see him sweat. Not the Pogues, not the MM, and certainly not his shareholders. But god, he couldn't just stand there. Before he had the opportunity to be swept away by more mindless chatter from some random, he trudged past the crowd and walked straight out of the room, leaving the party without a host.

Rafe walked through the Fourier and towards his private elevator. He had assumed that Jessie had done the same just minutes before. As he was going up to the top floor he couldn't help but pace in that tiny box. Should he be upset? Should he be grateful? Should he take it out on Jessie? Who exactly was he upset with? He had no answers. Finally, the ding of the elevator rang through and the doors opened. He marched down to the last door and jingled his keys around to unlock it. He cursed Jessie under his breath for being petty enough to lock the door. He swung it wide open to reveal his wife sitting on the couch with a glass of champagne in her hand and her silk dress still on. Despite her looking rather comfortable, Rafe could tell she was anything but. She still had her shoes on, which meant she was prepared to leave at any moment. In fact, he noticed she changed into her dirty white converse. She wasn't just prepared to leave, she was prepared to run... or fight.

Even though the thud of the door swinging against the wall was loud enough to wake the dead, Jessie simply rotated her head achingly slow to see her seething husband at the entrance. His jaw was locked, eyes narrowed, nose flared, and chest bowed. She lived for it.

"What the hell was that out there, huh?" Rafe fumed, now walking in the living room, suddenly feeling like his tie was suffocating him and opting to loosen it.

"It was me confronting you." Jessie replied plainly— almost sarcastically— not daring to drop the eye contact as she took a sip of her champagne. She hated the stuff, but she needed a buzz.

"A-a-and you didn't think to do that shit in private weeks ago? You are unbelievable, Jessie Cameron!"

"How is this my fault?" Jessie sassed right back, now standing up. "You're the one that willingly hid your coke addiction from me for weeks!"

"I was gonna tell you-"

"Bullshit, Rafe!" A pause came over them as Rafe realized he had been called out once more. "The longer you hide it the easier it gets. I knew that! I saw the distance in your eyes weeks ago! I was going to confront you after the holidays but tonight... when you wanted to put that ring on my finger... I couldn't do it. Not when I knew you were lying to me. Your mother deserved better."

"Don't tell me what my mother deserves Jessica!" Rafe was now screaming from the top of his lungs. Jessie knew she made the right choice when she told JJ to keep Charley downstairs no matter what until she texted him. Jessie just paused, looking at the man in front of her with disgust.

"You're a monster." She said with disgust.

"You made the monster... twice."

Jessie sucked in a breath as she realized just what Rafe meant. Now she was the one being confronted with her own part in this disaster. The fact that she had introduced— and reintroduced— her husband to coke was the sin she couldn't forgive herself for even if she tried. And she had tried. She constantly told herself that it wasn't her fault that Rafe took his addiction too far. But she learned that two things can be true at the same time. Rafe hadn't seemed to understand that just yet. The words alone took the fire out of her breath and the fierceness out of her eyes. She now teared up at the scary reality that Rafe actually blamed her for this... and she did too.

"Rafe..." she squeaked out, still trying to hold onto her determination through short breaths. "You didn't deserve what happened to you... but neither did I." Jessie hoped those words were enough for Rafe to find his fault in this as well. Clearly Jessie had. The guilt of it had eaten away at her for years.

Rafe felt he had cast plenty of blame on himself all the way up until this point. Why he couldn't see past his rage? He didn't know.

"I'm having a hard time forgiving you this time..." Jessie said. Rafe laughed and put his hands on his hips as he looked down. He shook his head and clicked his tongue, clearly not believing what he was hearing. He popped his head back up with a fake smile.

"You know what, Jessie? I'm having a hard time forgiving you this time."

Jessie looked down at her husband's shoes and played with the skin on her lips. He noticed her posture deflate at his words. It seemed they were at an impasse. Jessie just looked around for the words.

"Well then I guess... neither one of us know where to go from here." She said as she threw her hands up in defeat. The words cut deep for both of them. A hush fell between them as they both realized what this meant.

"I guess it does." Rafe tried to say nonchalantly with a flustered shrug of his shoulders .

"Rafe..." Jessie continued, this time no longer masking the clear hopelessness in her voice and eyes. He watched her intently. "Were no good for each other. When we're together all we know how to do is be irresponsible. This isn't high school anymore. Besides ... neither one of us had any love to give in the first place... we both knew that."

Yet another reality check that stung a little too much for either of them to handle. Yet Rafe tried to keep his composure. He shrugged and blinked back tears.

"We didn't know how." He replied, with a nod indicating he understood. That was the sad reality neither one of them had voiced until this very moment. The couple once bonded over their warped perception of love... and yet now it was their downfall.

"So there's no fixing this." Jessie stated. "But I mean... we do have a daughter to raise."

Rafe looked beyond his wife to think of a solution. He couldn't find one.

"Jessie, you don't trust me... and I don't trust you. And like you said... all we do is tear each other apart. We know each other too well."

"Yeah... but our daughter trusts us. And I swore the second I found out I was pregnant that she would not be the child of drugged out father and a helpless mother... so until you can get this figured out... I'm taking Charley."

As if the conversation couldn't get any more earth shattering, Rafe realized that he was now losing his daughter too. His eyes grew wide and panic clearly set in.

"Woah woah woah woah... you're not gonna keep my daughter from me."

"Yes I am Rafe..." Jessie implored calmly as she walked over to their bedroom. Rafe followed her. "And it starts tonight... I'm going back to my old apartment." Jessie finished as she began to pack a small backpack.

"Wait wait wait, Jessie." Rafe pleaded now with wide eyes as he realized this conversation took a totally different turn that he wasn't prepared for.

"I didn't think you actually meant leaving me, I mean I though this was just another-"

"What the hell else am I supposed to do, Rafe? It's the only way you seem to get your shit together... but I'm not coming back... we're done."

"Jessie..." Rafe begged with tears in his eyes as he got closer. He knew she didn't throw out ultimatums unless she meant them. She meant it this time. He knew when she was done. He wanted to touch her so bad, at least find some way to bring her back to him, but he knew he couldn't.

"Rafe, you act like taking my child from you is easy! You don't think it's killing me? The thought of having to explain to her why she can't see you every morning? Why her mom and dad aren't sleeping in the same bed or living in the same house? I know the questions are gonna come... and I'm gonna have to answer them... for the rest of her life! This was exactly why I left in the first place! And now I'm forced to do the very thing I was terrified of... sharing our daughter."

"Jessie..." Rafe cried, trying anything to get her to stay and work this out.

"Rafe..." Jessie interrupted, now with just as many tears. "It's over." Her voice cracked.

As much as he didn't want to, Rafe understood. He swallowed the lump in his throat, now looking at Jessie with not a thought behind his eyes except for his own guilt and reconciliation. He choked on his next words, unsure of what to say to get her back.

"Look, Jessie, if it's not you it's not anyone... I tried for years to fill that void and I'm never going to find anyone else..."

Jessie laughed at the very idea. Rafe clearly was frantic and pulling at straws to figure out any other reason to convince her to stay.

"Rafe..." she rolled her eyes with a hopeless smile. "I'm not gonna be with someone else either... To be with anyone else is a crime... and just not fair to whatever pour innocent soul that could be. We're the only ones perfectly wrong for each other." She whispered as she looked dead on at the man she loved most.

The both of them knew that to be true, both equally as damned to ruin the next person if they ever came along. They reserved that right only for each other.

Jessie began to walk towards the front door, bag in hand to go downstairs and pick up Charley, and probably any other pogues that want to go with her. She couldn't bring herself to walk out without first turning around to look at her husband.

"Rafe."

No words were said, yet Jessie could tell he was hanging on every word. He stood just mere feet from her in the doorway with his hands on his hips trying to keep it together.

"I love you. Never forget that."

To hell with keeping it together, at that point all Rafe could do was look away and pinch his features together in an attempt to not let the waterworks fly. His lip quivered. He sniffled and took a deep breath, looking back at his wife.

"I love you too. And don't you forget this, Jessie Cameron..." He replied with a point of his shaky finger through tears. Jessie inclined her ear, imploring him to go on through tears of her own.

"If you ever need me... I'll come running."

It was in that moment, as the two star crossed lovers locked eyes with so much love yet so much hatred that this was the way it had to be, that they realized that maybe the only reason for their romance was for Jessie to make Rafe a little more wild... and for Rafe to make Jessie a little more cautious. If that was the case, they had served their purpose.

I'll Come Running - R.C. - Epilogue

Jessie heard the knock of her apartment door, signaling that people were there— right on time. She threw the kitchen towel down that she was using to clean up the mess from the cake her and mama just decorated.

"Want me to get it sweetie?" Tom asked from the couch, not bothering to look up from his sports on the TV.

"That's okay, pops. I got it! Charleyyyy!" Jessie rang up the narrow stairs of her oh so familiar apartment. "You need to get down here, there's some people here to see you!"

Mama smiled as she watched the young woman practically dance over to the door. Jessie knew exactly who was behind that door. She opened it with the biggest smile on her face knowing exactly who she was going to get to see.

"Hellooooo!" JJ beamed. He was accompanied by other greetings and murmurings from the Pogues and Wheezie behind him, all of them had brightly colored presents in their hands as they entered into the apartment with excitement. Jessie couldn't hug her brother fast enough.

"Ugh! JJ! It's been too long!" Jessie exclaimed as she brought her brother in for a warm embrace, doing the same to the others.

"Four months and twelve days... but who's counting right?" JJ replied with a laugh.

"Charley still has no idea we're here right?" Sarah asked. They all were clearly anxious to see the little girl.

"That's right! She knows all her friends are coming for the birthday party... just not you guys. Oh, she's coming!" Jessie said, frantically moving out of the way to reveal the brand new four year old with a birthday crown already on her head and a sash already around her pretty new dress. She looked around the living room in confusion, but the second she laid eyes on the entryway she gasped.

"UNCLE JJAYYYYY!!!" Charley screamed as she ran up to the blonde haired boy. Like so many times before, JJ reached down to scoop up the little girl.

"Ohhhh my gosh Char Char! You've already grown so much since New Years! Gotta stop that now!" JJ insisted as he poked at the little lady in his arms.

"Someone's not a little girl anymore." Sarah said through happy tears as she looked over at her sister in law, embracing her with a hug. Jessie nodded in unfortunate understanding of the same reality.

"I know it." She responded with a tinge of sadness. Time truly was a thief. "And look at you, little lady!" Jessie said, now turning her attention to the teenager in front of her. "You have got stop growing! What's next? A boyfriend?!" Jessie joked as she held Wheezie's face in her hands like only a mother could. She couldn't help but feel like if she blinked her eyes Charley would be that old too. She distracted herself by averting her attention to the Pogues.

"Everyone else should be here shortly." Jessie said.

"Who all's coming?" Kiara asked, knowing exactly what answer her and the rest of the Pogues were looking for. Jessie read between the lines.

"Uh, some friends from school, some of the MM... and Rafe."

The room went quiet. The Pogues looked concerned, but Mama and Tom seemed to show a chip on their shoulder at the very mention of the man's name. The truth is, they had been taking the brunt of Jessie's whims the last four months, trying their best to get her back on her feet after such a messy split. Nothing was official yet, but they could see how tired Jessie was from trying to balance work and strained family dynamics across the board. Trying to help the Pogues in the Bahamas and raise her daughter with an unstable father was more difficult than she originally imagined. Yet she chose to still keep in touch and make things work the best she could. She figured Rafe deserved that. No matter what, he had a daughter that he now knew about and was undoubtedly attached to. The Pogues could see that too, and they had their own worry for the twenty-two year old. Yet, they found themselves more conflicted than Maci and Tom, mostly from the fact that they saw Rafe's side of things too. Regardless, today was not the day to pick a side and wage a war.

"Stop looking like that." Jessie sighed with a plea behind her eyes.

"Like what?" JJ asked stupidly, as if he didn't know exactly the look she was referring to.

"The look of guilt... the worry. I can't take one more look of sympathy." Jessie replied with slight annoyance. The Pogues felt their own sort of guilt from this mess... JJ still couldn't live with the fact that he had called Jessie to come get him out of trouble in the first place... if hadn't have done that... she wouldn't be in this situation. Yet Jessie still made it clear that it wasn't his fault time and time again.

JJ pursed his lips and looked down, trying his hardest to understand where Jessie was coming from. He was pulled from his thoughts at the sound of another knock on the door.

"That should be Sam and Treasure."

"Treasurrrrrre!" Charley squealed as she kicked her feet, begging for her uncle to let her down.

"Thats one of her friends." Jessie explained. "Char char, go ahead and let her in!"

Once her feet hit the ground again she ran to the door, frantically opening it. Jessie figured this was the perfect time to step aside with the Pogues and have a moment.

"Look guys... I know everything is still fresh... but today is Charley's birthday. Today is not a day to pick sides or start anything, alright?"

The Pogues could tell Jessie was serious, she almost came off as threatening. They nodded in understanding.

"I'm serious." Jessie reiterated, still not convinced they understood what this day meant.

Jessie and Rafe, although communication was minimal and strictly for Charley, managed to come to an agreement about days like this. Rafe was allowed to come over, but no conversation outside of what was necessary. It was harsh, but it was crucial to making sure that this day didn't turn into passive aggressive manipulation that both of them were so good at wielding. Jessie didn't even like being in the same room as Rafe right now... as she felt that he could attack her with just his smile and those longing eyes... no words needed. But she decided that for today, he had a right to celebrate his daughter.

Slowly but surely more people started to trickle in, resulting in a house full of friends and family that Jessie loved to mingle with. The sounds of kids running around, all the adults laughing, and music blaring was still not enough to fill the hole Jessie knew was there. It was blatantly obvious in her mind only that Charley's father still wasn't there. She wondered why. He said he was coming.

What Jessie didn't know is that Rafe thought he was coming to, yet he had been a bundle of nerves all day. He got no sleep the night before. He wondered if he was strong enough to celebrate something and someone so special to him with the girl he loved the most and act like she was only the mother of his child. How was he supposed to casually share his daughter when her mother was so incessant on hardly any contact? He played every possible scenario of how this day could go in his head over and over, which caused him to stop right as he touched the exit door of his penthouse, to take another lap around the block of Jessie's apartment building, and for him to stop dead in his tracks with his hand held up almost ready to knock on her door. He stopped every single time, contemplating if he was really ready for this. He had only seen Jessie these last few months in the small time it took to drop Charley off for little visits. Yet even in those short moments, he knew his Jessie inside and out. No amount of time could change that. She was keeping it short and sweet for the same reasons as he was... fear of falling. Still, he shook his head and whispered to himself to get it together, his next move being a swift knock to her front door before he could stop himself with his thoughts once more.

Jessie finally heard the only knock that mattered, knowing it could only be the one person that was left that still hadn't shown up. Her heart skipped a beat when she heard it, and she leaped through the crowd to get the door before anyone else had a chance. She opened the door to reveal none other than Rafe Cameron. She took a deep breath, one that Rafe could see due to her extended rib cage and look of concentration. He pursed his lips but quickly remembered that he needed to smile, so he did.

"Hi." Rafe whispered numbly as he flashed his pearly whites.

"Hi." Jessie exhaled with a fake smile plastered on her face as well.

The two stood there, for as long as their hearts would allow them. Even after months of little to no contact, their eyes still said everything they wouldn't allow themselves to say for the sake of accepting reality and keeping the peace. And as Jessie looked deep into those ocean eyes standing in her doorway, that was all the confirmation she needed to know exactly where to go from here.

I'll Come Running - R.C. - Author's Note

Please don't kill me. Haha!

I want to thank you guys from the bottom of my heart for reading, voting, and especially for commenting. I have loved seeing you guys feel the same rollercoaster of emotion that I have as I wrote this book.

I know the ending is less than ideal, but I am hoping that you see the beauty in it. This is a book where it is not always crystal clear who the villain is. Both Jessie and Rafe have complicated dynamics and backstories that make them who they are and that make the give and take even more conflicting for the reader, which was exactly what I was going for. I know this type of story is not everyone's favorite, but I am never opposed to a story that is deeper than the "fairy tale" ending that we all would like to see. I hope you guys have read this book and have appreciated the ability for the sometimes grey area in the misunderstood, vulnerable characters like Rafe and Jessie. I, for one, am a sucker for the angst. Haha!

That being said, I am so open to continuing this story (and have quite a few ideas already actually) if that is what you guys want to see. Are you guys happy with Jessie and Rafe being done for good? Do you want to see them still try? Do you want to know how they make their new dynamic work? I would love to know!

Again... thank you guys for reading. I needed to write this more than you guys needed to read it, so thanks for being apart of the therapy session.

Depending on the responses, you may or may not be hearing from me in the near future regarding a sequel... love you guys!

you were all i wanted but not like this - rafe cameron

pairing: rafe cameron x reader (fem!reader)

WARNINGS: angst <3; just angst.

watched mamma mia and remembered how sam pissed me off when he left donna lmao; self indulgent honestly (haven't written in like a month so decided to get back into it with a smaller piece); hope you enjoy!

you should’ve known better.

the weight of realization presses upon you like an anvil on your chest, each breath drawn heavy with the gravity of the situation. 

sleeping with a guy on the same day you met him? risky.

proceeding to spend the next three months with him? delusional.

falling for him while simultaneously knowing nothing about his life back home? stupid.

the sting of embarrassment gnaws at you and it feels like you're rotting inside.

you want to scream, to rage against the unfairness of it all, make a fucking scene out of it. of all people roaming the earth…rafe had to be the one your cousin was dating.

rafe, as in your summer romance rafe, your rafe. 

oh my god!

he didn’t even tell you his surname, didn’t tell you shit and yet, just weeks ago, you were ready to move halfway across the world in hope of finding him again. 

you should've seen the warning signs flashing in neon bright before you. the damage is done, the wounds self-inflicted.

rafe's eyes widen imperceptibly as the pieces of the puzzle fall into place, fitting together with a sickening clarity, a flicker of recognition crossing his features before he quickly masks it with a practiced smile. 

but you see it, that moment of realization, and it only fuels the fire of anger burning within you.

"so, rafe cameron," you say, each word laced with a bitter edge that you can’t quite suppress, "so nice to meet you."

his million-dollar smile falters ever so slightly, a faint tremor betraying the cool exterior he tries so desperately to maintain.

“pleasure's all mine.”

yeah sure it fucking is.

you don’t utter another word to him. as you navigate through the party, each step feels heavier than the last, burdened by the weight of your self-recrimination. the pulsating beat of the music throbs in your temples, matching the rhythm of your racing thoughts. you move through the crowd with mechanical precision, engaging in polite conversation. you plaster on a fake smile and pretend like everything is fine.

what the fuck? how did you let yourself get in this situation in the first place? it’s a new kind of low, even for you. and why is the cameron household so confusing to walk around?

you can barely see straight with the headache taking place in your mind, the bright lights only wanting to make you burst into tears now and then. 

“let me explain.”

rafe comes out of nowhere, ambushing you before you can get to the door.

a groan slips past your lips, “go fuck yourself.”

“let me,” rafe pleads, his tone tinged with desperation, eyes roaming your face for so long.

a bitter laugh bubbles up from deep within you, incredulous at the audacity of his request, “you think i wanna hear anything you have to say?”

he sighs, closing his eyes, “'meant every thing i said back in skopelos, okay? i didn’t lie.”

“you didn’t tell me shit,” your voice strains to keep calm, “not about you, not about your family, not about a fucking girlfriend, you said nothing. a summer flling, yeah i get it, i can get past that. but making me the other woman? are you serious?!”

you had allowed yourself to be swept away by his charm, by the promise of something more. 

“there was no girlfriend!” he says, but you don’t believe him, squinting up at him with a frown.

“right,” your voice is monotonous, “you got back, what? three weeks ago and magically got one.”

“we weren't together, broke up with her, i swear— n'then you left, i thought i was never gonna see you again."

are you that easily replaceable?

if he cares so much why didn't he look for you? why didn't he break his stupid rules and ask for you number like a normal human being?

“oh go eat a cock.”

you turn on your heels, ready to put an end the conversation and to never see him again. you can feel your nails starting to break the skin on your palm and the subtle taste of copper on your tongue.

“hey—hey, hey, baby wai—“ 

as soon as his hand touches your arm, you’re pushing him away as hard as you can, tears gathering in the corner of your eyes, “don’t you dare. touching me is a privilege you do not have.”

the pain of betrayal, the humiliation of being used and discarded. you feel so stupid. tears cascade down your cheeks like raindrops on a windowpane, the weight of your emotions threatening to engulf you.

“please don’t cry,” rafe begs, fingers itching to hold you, “baby—“

“stop!” your voice cracks with anguish as you choke back a sob, wrapping your arms around yourself, seeking solace in the warmth of your own embrace, “just stop.”

“i don’t have a choice here,” his voice comes out all rough, as he tries not to cave in and cry, “you think i want to be with her when i could be with you? you—jesus, d-do you not understand how hard is it—“

“don’t finish that sentence,” the anger in your voice cuts through the air like a knife, your words dripping with bitterness and hurt, “it’s hard for you? you?!” 

rafe opens his mouth to answer, but he finds it hard to pass the thick lump in throat, “i didn’t mean it like that.”

“you never do.”

his gaze falls to the ground, unable to meet your accusing eyes. he knows he messed up, knows he's hurt you deeply. can’t even find it in himself to explain, tell you how it’s all his father’s fault, that he only got back with her because ward told him to.

how pathetic would that sound? 

‘'m sorry," he whispers, his voice barely audible over the din of the party, “’m so fucking sorry.”

but his apology feels hollow, empty, like a bandage over a gaping wound. the damage has been done, irreparable and raw. you shake your head, unable to find it in yourself to forgive him, 

“too late."

smthn w hoodies

h o o d i e s

fandom- outer banks

pairing(s)-rafe cameron

a/n: tso i've never written for him and the request is not very specific. y'all are free to request them again w different characters. i haven't really seen anyone in obx wearing hoodies but anyway, here it is requests are open luv, thai

requested- yes

playlist: the rafe cameron mindset

warnings- none i think-

Rafe found himself in Mr. Bellingham's radar again. he's always been in his radar. but today wasn't a reason he'd believe since you would never do anything of assort with the likes of the Cameron

His best guess was that he had a moment of self reflection in the hallways.

Cameron and you had a very strange relationship, where one or the other would do a 180 when seeing the other's face. just because both of you are childish with their nurturing crushes.

You had no idea what gave you the courage to pull something like that on him, but it's been a while since he's been gawking, why not.

With a pull on Rafe's hand, both of you were in an empty classroom, him against the door in sheer surprise.

You pulled him closer with the fabric of his hoodie over his head with inches between you

who wears a hoodie in this weather?

His faces were tilted as if to kiss you, noses barley apart. you hand trailed down from the hood to the strings and tugged, closing the gap of his lips and yours with the light fabric.

But Rafe Cameron was in it now, his confidence barged in and was ready to devour. he did not bother to undo the knot, nope, he reached his hand under the cloth and pulled it off completely. leaving him shirtless and you probably breathless.

he held the sleeves in his arms and pulled you in by the hoodie. at this point you were closer and looked like a tomato.

he had an eyebrow raised, smirk plastered on his stupidly gorgeous face

is this how you want to play doll?

a m o r i s t

fandom- outer banks

pairing(s)-rafe cameron

a/n: heyya, so its been a while since I've done him and i was scrolling through Pinterest and i saw this trope and fell in love. amorist defines someone in love and it felt a perfect way to describe soft and mushy rafe. as always, my requests are always open for your thoughts and stories, with lots of love, tiya

playlist: the rafe cameron mindset

warnings- its just fluff, my soft rafe, denying kisses

Rafe Cameron had a lovely habit of always needing to keep his hands busy. He'd love fiddling to jerking his fingers wherever he could. But lately? he quite enjoyed braiding your hair.

Rafe and undid your ponytail and shook out your hair. He had finished up brushing it. He would do it with so much caution and care so you'd never feel an ounce of pain. He'd thread his hand through your hair ever so gently with his nimble fingers.

You had placed your head on his lap, engrossed in a movie while his skillfully played with strands of your hair. He wouldn't pay much attention to the screen since his thought always go back to your hair. he was enchanted and absolutely adored it. it was soft and just so pretty and satisfying to touch.

Rafe looked so pretty with all his concentration centered in making your hair look lovely. you just had to lean in for a kiss, just one.

you tipped your jaw to make contact with his face above yours just for him to shrug it off. he quickly placed a kiss to your cheek.

you had lips, it wouldn't hurt for him to notice once in a while. him and his stupid face.

"Shh, stop fussing baby. Lemme finish braiding your hair and I'll kiss you forever alright?"

Swish, brush, twine, swish, brush, twine, over and over again, your eyes began to droop as you tried to will yourself awake once more, but to no avail, you had fallen asleep in his arms, and when you'd woken from slumber, you found his arms wrapped around you, as he was fast asleep, two perfect braids sitting like a crown on your head.

h a l c y o n

fandom- outer banks

pairing(s)-rafe cameron

a/n: helloo my lovleys, let me see what I can do :) so I'm so sorry it took so long since I've been awfully caught up with my examinations, I feel pretty hyped up for this one so I'm hopeful this will reach you expectations and I do your plot justice tysmm for taking the time to request, ik i take time but I swear it makes my day when i see my inbox flooding. I'm swamped but I'm really trying, i promise requests are always open with love, tiya

playlist: the rafe cameron mindset

warnings- just tooth rottin fluff, overall a sweet drabble

Rafe that this old sofa in his room since forever. He just absolutely adored it to no ends even with its old covers and worn out figure. His favourite thing was to fall asleep on it in the afternoons with you. It was just so comfortable but not as grand or spacious like every other thing uou would find in their household. A lovely excuse to keep you closer cause he wouldn't want his girl to have a fall of the edge while they slept of. so what not a better safety precaution than his arm keeping you close.

Falling asleep for you was not as easy as flipping a switch, so instead you would prop up your head on a pillow with Rafe attached you your hip as you go through your reading assignment in plans to slowly nod off.

his head would be on your stomach with his hands wrapped around you and legs displaced by the small furniture.

With one hand flipping through the pages of your prescribed textbook the other one was lightly massaging his hair so he wouldn't stir up with your sudden movements.

"baby?"

"yeah rafe?"

"you smell really nice mhmm"

o r p h i c

fandom- outer banks

pairing(s)- rafe cameron

a/n: hellolo, i'm so sorry i deleted the request, it was very clumsy of me. the anonymous had asked for me to write about how both rafe and you seemed to hate each other but keeps each other in their minds throughout the day. one leads to another and they end up confessing thankyou for requesting, i hope you indulge your stories with me to write them out for you in the future with love, tiya

playlist: the rafe cameron mindset

summary: you looked so pretty, how could rafe resist a bite?

requested- yes

warnings- unestablished relationship, hateful but secretly in love, "love", "sweetheart", mentions of satan-?

Midsummers carried the bright, enliven days with the aroma of freedom and warmth, but here you were stuck at some barbeque enlightened by the presence of bloody Rafe Cameron.

it annoyed you how he was so aggressive and a devil of a narcissist who walked around as if he owned the world. But what pissed you off the most was how in every crowd you'd search for him, how you often thought about his stupid hair and his stupid face and how his arms looked so fine with his sleeves rolled up.

How could i be so dual?

you'd assume one would steer themselves from dangerous situations such as interacting with a hot headed Cameron who could fuck you up in more ways than one.

You were helping Wheezie collect seashells for her castle when he strolled in to the sand with his hands shoved in his pockets, confidence following him like an obedient dog.

"need her for a minute, dad said to let her tag on" he so nonchalantly expressed the reason of his prescence.

wiping the sand from your calves, you slid on your slippers and followed him. It was always necessary to be cautious with Rafe, you never knew what he was thinking. but at the same time, why did he look like that? like the angels envied the looks of the devil, even though they were to stay away, that smile pulled you on.

you both had gone a good few meters out of sight when he harshly twisted you around by your hand, pushing your back towards the cement wall. his right hand was hugging your waist while his knee was firmly placed between your thighs.

fuck

your heart was hammering and your legs were ready to turn into absolute mush when he was Infront of you.

"who said you could look so pretty huh?"

fuck it, who could resist the devil when he decides to take form of Rafe Cameron?

you lifted his chin and closed the space between him, your hands through his hair as you could feel yourself fall in rhythm.

he pulled back

oh

"I'm so sorry oh my god, I shouldn't have done that I'm so sorry, I-"

"darlin" he covered his eyes with a hand

" if you don't want to talk to me ever again I get it-"

"sweetheart"

"I'm just so-"

you were very rudely interrupted as he lowered his head, pulled you by your shirt and kissed you again.

OH

m i s c h e v i o u s

fandom- outer banks

pairing(s)- rafe cameron

a/n: this isn't the best but it's something i wrote to one of my favourite bois

playlist: the rafe cameron mindset

requested- yes

warnings- none i think-

Rafe Cameron was a leader, someone with initiative, someone who was adamant about fixing it before it became a problem. And when you caught his gaze, he knew there was going to be a problem. You looked beautiful, you really did, absolutely captivating. he just knew that tonight won't end without a taste.

he knew what you were expecting for a reaction. and if you thought he was going to get down on his knees and do whatever you wanted to him, then you were absolutley right.

if you wanted to play, then fine. but he assumed by now that you would know better than to stay out of things you wouldn't win

his arm grazed your thigh, running shivers down your bare thigh uncovered by the slit in your dress.

fuck

"i missed you so much. you can't even comprehend"

it had only been a week.

you could not win, not when he looks like god and especially when he had a to-do list. the only item left for tonight was you. his hand kept going higher as the more people began to drown their drinks and dance.

"oh god" you moaned.

"not god sweetheart," he said before adjusting his fingers a bit deeper,"Rafe."

"baby, keep quiet, or imma have to go harder don't I"

credit: @ageofsam

[literal inspiration to not delete this blog]

R A F E C A M E R O N M A S T E R L I S T

playlist: the rafe cameron mindset

"mischievous"

rafe cameron was someone who takes initiative, so he wouldn't hesitate in fixating on you for the rest of the night, trying to win you over after a fight

warnings- unintentional background of a dispute before this takes place, reader has been away for a week, vulgar thoughts, vulgar language, teasing, ignoring partner

"orphic"

who could resist the devil's kiss when he decides to take form of Rafe Cameron?

warnings- expression of rafe's undying love for a sofa, close proximity, established relationship, sleepy rafe,

"halycon"

Rafe just absolutely adored his sofa to no ends even with its old covers and worn out figure but a small one, what a lovely excuse to keep you closer cause he wouldn't want his girl to have a fall of the edge while they slept of.

"amorsit"

just a soft rafe plaiting your hair

warnings- to be honest this a very soft one, lovey dovey rafe, soft rafe, uh mentions of reader having hair (questioning my life with these warnings istg)

"hoodies"

you provide a tease, he provides an earthquake in your stomach between classes

warnings- confident reader, slight tease if you squint looking through a magnifying glass I suppose, I suppose it has a theme of leading rafe on, unestablished relationship, pretending not to be in love with each other (that's the real headache), both are in school

write something guy wrenchingly sad about how rafe’s dad treats him and he calls you in the middle of the night to comfort him. he ends up coming to your house or you go over to tanneyhill to be with him :)

this is so s1 rafe coded🥺my poor deprived baby😔

₊♡₊˚ 🎀・₊✧

its 2am when your phone buzzes, waking you up from a deep sleep. rafes name flashes across your phone, sending you into alarm. worry courses through your veins making you sit upright in shock, quickly pressing answer.

his ragged breaths are the first thing you hear as you pick up, his sobs echoing down the phone. “hey-hey baby, rafe, whats going on? are you okay?” you ask, hurriedly.

he sniffles “m-my dad.. we g-got into a huge fight and i-i don’t know wh-what to do.” you can sense his tension through the phone. rafe was never good and expressing his emotions, he preferred showing himself through actions rather than words. so him calling you at this hour and actually telling you what was wrong, you knew it had to be serious.

“oh my sweet boy, why don’t you come over? or i can come and pick you up? just stay calm for me baby, can you do that for me?” you soothe. which appears to calm him slightly as his breaths begin to slow.

“uh, yeah, yeah i-i can do that. i’ll drive, don’t w-want you leaving the house alone this late at night.” running his fingers through his greasy locks, shaking his head at how stupid he feels, crying. especially in-front of you, to you. and even though he’s in no state to drive, you know better than to argue with him on this, his innate need to protect you still shining through even in his most vulnerable moments.

“okay rafe…i’ll see you soon, drive safe for me baby.”

within 10 minutes you hear a knock at your door, you race downstairs unlocking the door in a hurry, the sight is anything but pleasant.

rafes nose is bust, dry blood caked around his mouth, a clear indication that the fight with his dad was anything but civilised. and this wasn’t the first time either. his tears staining his cheeks and his face flustered, a light shade of pink, his hair sticking to his forehead and his arms shaking as he looks down at you in embarrassment.

“oh, sweetheart.” you whisper gently, pulling him inside and into a hug, slowly he wraps his arms around your waist as his sobs begin to deepen, his heart rate increasing rapidly as his body racks with his cries. he leans down, burrying his face into your neck, sniffling so he doesn’t end up leaving snot all in your hair- not that you care, him being your main priority.

“you wanna’ talk about it?” you coax, your voice soft. he shakes his head, his grip on your waist tightening. you lift your hand, intertwining your fingers in his locks, stroking his head gently, soothing his desperate cries.

“that’s okay, your okay. let it all out…my sweet baby, i’m here for you. and i always will be, you know that right? i’m never leaving you, no matter what. we always stick together, you hear me, baby boy? always.”