Saints Rec! - Tumblr Posts - Page 2
“The downfall of our family.”
.Older brother reader.
–めんどくさい.
Warnings ; Angst, child neglect and brief mentions of death. Mamaguro dies after Megumi is born.
•–· It wasn't easy being the first born, before megumi was born everything was still normal at some point. The last fun memory you had was when your father laid beside you, watching you read some comic book and he saw how your smile shined so brightly at the sight of some printed pictures. Toji never had that experience.
He watches his own son in silence, your mother is sleeping already. The bump in her stomach is so visible you couldn't help but close the comic book shut, Toji was a bit surprised as his eyes followed you when you stood up from the futon and made your way to your mother. “Kid, what are you doing—” It's only then he realizes late you were kneeling down and pressed your ear on your mom's stomach.
You feel the baby slightly kicking inside of her stomach, your little brother is in there and your eyes widened when you felt it kick on your cheek. Your mother groaned a bit and Toji just laid his head on the pillow near beside her, his hand caressing her stomach. “Dad, do you think he'll like me?” Five year old you asks. Toji hummed in agreement.
“He will, you two are brothers and it's only natural that you two will have a connection.” Toji spoke. “If he doesn't like you, that's also natural. He'll eventually grow out of it, he's still a baby.” You only keep silent and the sound of small snoring could be heard, it was definitely your dad's. You look up to see your mom sound asleep as the lights are still turned on, you stood up and flipped the light switch.
You go back to bed with your mom and dad.
—
It went on so fast, your brother was born and he was named shortly after. Megumi was his name, your father said so. At first you thought it was a silly name for a boy, you were outside of the hospital room. Fingers fidgeting anxiously when your father hasn't come out of the room yet, what was taking him so long ? And how come you're still not allowed inside, you were six years old already ! When your dad gets out of the room, his hands are curled in a tight fist.
Sweat forming on his forehead, his eyes were wide as he stayed glued on the floor and it seemed like he was out of breath. Many questions run through the inside of your head but one question only stands out, why does it look like your father has cried a lot. He has never cried before even when you broke his watch one time, the one that your mother gifted him.
You got off the seat, walking a little fast towards him and Toji flinched when you touched his hand. Even the skin of his hand was drenched with cold sweat, he uncurls his fist and his sweaty palm was all you could feel. “Listen to what i'm gonna say, alright.” It didn't even sound like a request, he kneels down as he sighs again. “Go home and just heat up the leftovers we had last night, i'll be with your mom for now.” He takes your small hands and gives you the key to the home.
You simply nodded, confused. What's up with his humour tonight ? But you didn't care, you couldn't wait to see Megumi soon and your mom as well. It must have been a painful process but you knew that your mom was a tough lady, she endured it by being so silent ! The doctors were screaming and your dad got even scared, that just proves that your mom was stronger than anyone else.
The hospital wasn't so far from home anyway, you hummed as you walked around the streets. When you heard the thunder rumbling from the clouds you didn't hesitate running already ! You can't risk getting sick, mom wouldn't want that especially when she's also getting better. “Mean rain!” You yelled repeatedly until you finally reached the apartment complex. You took the key out from your pocket and put it in the key hole, twisting the door knob as it opened.
You struggled a little reaching it but you finally got inside the house, you take off your drenched shoes, not putting them in the shoe rack as you'll hang them to dry later. You'll be waiting for your father until later, you walk inside of the bathroom. Taking off your clothes and leaving them on the floor, you turn on the hot shower. Washing off any dirt from your body, nothing felt sticky on your skin anymore. You wondered again, "How long will it take for mom to come back ? Hm.”
—
She's dead, it slips out of Toji's mouth when he's drunk and staring at the ceiling. You complained about the milk running out and because of that Megumi wouldn't stop crying at all, the whole day without Toji being present felt like a punishment at some point. “What?” You asked, not able to process the information. You held Megumi in your arms, Toji wasn't back home for a few days after the night Megumi was born. He only came back soon with the brother you were hoping for.
The small cup is empty on Toji's hand, he blinks and he stares back at you. “She's gone, she died after Megumi was born.” No, you weren't angry by the fact that Megumi was the reason for your mother's death, you were angered by how your father had said it so casually. Did he not feel any emotions ? It's as if this was already expected, why was he like this ? You couldn't understand, you were still a child.
Six years old to be exact, it was said so casually your immature brain didn't know what to do.
“Grow up.” He says.
And you did grow up, Toji has been absent for most of the time. Leaving you to take care of Megumi alone, you struggled to make him homemade meals. You saw what babies are fed on the TV and you wanted to make that too, but you lacked ingredients and you didn't want to risk burning the whole building down. You had a stool to help yourself reach things, you'd make instant ramen easily and fed Megumi some.
This wasn't healthy, you knew that. You missed mom, her home cooked meals and the chicken soup she'd make during your birthdays. You didn't like sweets that much, you liked the soup with a lot of ginger. Megumi babbled words, you thought about what it must be like if mom was here holding him right now. You wouldn't struggle trying to feed him on the high chair.
But it's fine, this is all fine. You can take care of Megumi, you don't need anyone else besides your mother. She's there to guide you, even without her physical presence you know that she's still there by your side. Your father must have been busy with work, he was always in these kinds of jobs. You once saw him wiping one of his swords.
But enough of that, it was time to give Megumi a bath. “Megumii, it's bath time! Are you excited?” Your Megumi happily replied by blowing raspberries as he raised his hands towards you, you smiled and kissed them. You carried him up and took him to the bathroom, getting the duty done as soon as possible.
—
You're nine years old when Toji decides to drop you and Megumi off in another new place, you didn't know what was going on but he was smiling. You were confused until a new woman opens the door for him and hugs him tightly, Megumi holds your hand tightly and you look down to see him whining quietly as you carry him up. “Meet your new home, Megumi and [Y/N]. Starting from now on, you'll stay with your new mom.”
That word again, when was the last time you've heard it ? 'Mom'. It sounded strange and before you knew it, a new child was inside the picture frame. "Meet my daughter, Tsumiki. I think you two are almost the same age, right? That's cute.” Tsumiki seemed polite, she offered you a warm smile while Megumi only clung to you tightly. “Let's get inside.” Toji said.
You all ate dinner in silence, it wasn't that great. The woman wasn't really a cook and Toji most likely just bought cheaper food that you can just heat up so no one would be bothered. Megumi tugged on your sleeve, you hummed and it caught Toji's attention when you leaned down to listen to Megumi's whisper on your ear. You nodded in agreement and stood up from the chair. Tsumiki was curious when you helped Megumi get off the chair.
“Where's the bathroom if you don't mind me asking, please?” Tsumiki's mom had such bright red lips from her lipstick, you missed your actual mom. She spoke with no politeness, the tone of her voice sounded so, so unattractive. Why did your dad even get with her? “It's the last door at the end of the hallway, sweetie. Left door.” You didn't like it, even Megumi doesn't like her.
You guided Megumi in the bathroom, Toji stared at you two. As his new wife held his hand he almost flinched if it weren't for her kiss on his cheek, he only rolled his eyes as she laughs softly. Tsumiki only stared at the scene, putting her chopsticks down and standing up from her seat. “You can just leave the dishes in the sink and I'll wash them once you two are done eating, you can just call me.”
Tsumiki's mom didn't really care much and just nodded, Tsumiki walked to her room and opened the door inside to her room.
It wasn't so great fitting inside of this new family.
—
Megumi is Four years old when Toji leaves him in your care, he leaves with no goodbye besides you and Tsumiki looking worriedly at Megumi as he stared down up from the balcony to see that his only parent was walking away. Unaware of being abandoned already, Tsumiki stared at you and you finally looked up to look eye to eye with her. “I'll prepare dinner, alright?” You simply nodded back.
You pet Megumi's head, ruffling his hair and he huffs making an annoyed noise. “He's going to work again, hmph.” Megumi crossed his arms to his chest, clearly upset. Your Gumi shouldn't be frustrated, too much negativity can curse the whole house. You only sighed softly, kneeling down and kissing him on the forehead.
“You have me, don't worr—” And before you know it Megumi's yell could have probably woken everyone up in the streets, even the neighbors at each room in the building from his yell. “I don't need you, nii-san ! I want dad, you're different and you're not him! I just want dad.” Ah, you understand now. It was normal for a child like him to have tantrums, you didn't even hear Tsumiki panically running towards you two.
“That's okay, i'm sorry but i also can't bring him back here.” You knew that Megumi probably had a lot of questions loaded inside of his brain, he's still a child and he can't know the truth. Everything that's happening around him shouldn't be known. A child, that's what he is. You're the same as Tsumiki, you and her were just ten years old. Not even close to being a teenager yet. “You have to promise you'll get him again, you'll get our dad.” Megumi didn't even cry after he saw his dad disappear in the dark streets.
The busted street light couldn't even let him see his father's figure one last time. “You know i'm not some superhero, Gumi. I'm sorry but maybe you are! You can be a superhero and find dad.” Tsumiki stared intensely at Megumi.
“I just wish you would stop trying to make everything all happy, that's not the way it is when everything is just messed up.” A four year old said all of that to you, a literal child. Sometimes, you just think about what would this little child say once that you die. It's either an accident or you just ultimately kill yourself when you can't handle everything.
But your mom wouldn't want that, how about your dad? You bet he wouldn't care anyway, just like when mom died. You stare at Megumi with a soft gaze, a cordial smile until then you finally stood up and took his hand in a gentle manner. Taking him inside of the home, Tsumiki moves out of the way and sighs. “I know it's rough but we'll just go past it like we always do, Gumi. With Tsumiki we can manage, isn't that right Tsumiki?”
She simply nodded in agreement.
Everything will just remain fine, even without their father or Tsumiki's mother it's all fine. You guys don't have much money but you'll manage despite being just children, no matter how hard it takes you know that there's always a solution to a problem.
