Stuck - Tumblr Posts
The thought that keeps me stuck in place the most is that I’ll never have the means to match the lifestyle I feel comfortable enough in to stay alive. I’m paralyzed by it. I can’t picture a future where I’m not struggling, not in this world. So when people tell me the point of being alive is just to keep being alive, I don’t get it and I just wanna give up.
Oh my gosh, I have SO many things to say about this:
If you see an anonymous goo seeping through the window, don’t stick your finger in it. And for the love of God, don’t eat it! Someone feed this kid!
We’re stuck? OMG I had no idea, thanks Captain Obvious.
I'm stuck in emotional purgatory.
EL
cuando sientas que necesitas algo triste porque no sabes que mierda estas haciendo con tu vida y además estas en una crisis existencial
Playing hide and seek, my friend got stuck in the laundry basket. Haven't laughed that had in a long time
Currently in this weird funk/headspace. Time is moving but I'm not. It feels like I'm stuck in the same place, personally and professionally, but time is still ticking away.
*big sigh*
The writer's block is real.....why just why....why did it have to hit now...
“Biding Time Underwater”
Acrylic and mixed media painting on canvas ..
I find it interesting, this human tendency to cling and clutch onto something that is bad and hurtful, only because we're thoroughly acquainted with it, rather than explore something new, something unknown, with a chance of it being better or even good.
It seems we truly love staying in our zone of toxic comfort out of sheer familiarity.
It's like living in a town you grew up in, yet 've been promising yourself to leave because you hate everything about it. However, when the time comes, you don't go. You stay. Why? Because "I know where all the shops are." "I know how the buses come and go." "I know my way through the streets, I won't get lost."
I won't get lost...
One doesn't live in that town 'cause they like the architecture, or the people who live there too, or because it has blooming parks and good memories tied to the primary school. They just know there are buildings, people, parks and a primary school. None of them which they actually ever really liked.
But the knowledge of the fact that they are there, makes them calm. I know everything that lurks here so nothing can surprise me. Nothing unexpected. Nothing that I wouldn't know how to deal with.
I can't get lost...
There lies a certainty in the known hence safety and control.
It doesn't matter that it doesn't make me happy nor that I find no fulfilling purpose in it, why would I give up my control? Why would I risk my comfort?
Only a fool wants to live in fear.
That's all very understandable
but it's also just one big 'make your choice' video game. You've played it time and time again, therefore you know every possible outcome. All you then do is press Restart and you can pretend you live life again. Safely, under your control. And nothing ever changes.
Yeah..
This kind of control is false. It's something fear and a desperate longing for peace tricks us into thinking we have in our comfort zone.
Probably because we're constantly afraid we don't have control over our lives, hence we don't live them as we want to, hence we'll never be able to achieve our urgently desired peace. Or maybe it is just a poorly made up definition - that peace equals us being fully in control... which is humanly impossible.
Even funnier it gets when we realize how we don't even see this. The toxic comforts become a part of us subconsciously and sometimes very early on. Letting go of them [have] never crossed our mind because why would I give up a part of my identity? It feels wrong and unnatural despite the fact that I'd be letting go of something that's been harming me... but I'm used to it. I'm familiar with it. This is who I've always been.
Well, have you?
It's once again that point where my brain almost explodes because of all [the] unwritten words, [the] unpainted canvas. My heart violently wincing in its lucid dreams, still unable to wake yet. My lungs in search for a knife to tear themselves open. On the sharpest edge, you let yourself but still cannot fall. Like a puppet on a string spinning shapelessly, singing silently..
..waiting, for a push.
Need the creativity to go berserk and just pour it all out. I know it might be dangerous but what kind of Art is it without that?
And yet, despite all that rave inside me, here I am, only melting in my love for cats and squirrels; that's as dangerous as it gets at the moment...
Emily Yvonne
"All this fury, all this rage; the grinning growling consequence of broken discipline, deflating fears and suffocated love... "
Emily Yvonne
It leaves you and you don't know how
You don't see your friends just shadows dancing in your mind
You do what you love what you can until you don't
The desperate call for help takes away all the joy
Nothing's real
You're not here
You're not sleeping
Not waking
Just that tantalising
Feeling of weakness
Where breaking is freedom
They want you to let go
To give up your struggle
Why hold on
When it clearly makes no sense
They try to prove you that there's nothing left
Not even yourself.
Emily Yvonne
Living in family hotels and exploring BC is what my family is doing right now. The one good thing about online school is that I can continue courses even if I'm not living in a specific place for a long time. But the problem is I have slowed down in working on fan stuff 😅 bear with me.
Idiot falls into space ship engine and gets stuck... 😝
So I’m writing down ideas on how to traumatize a character I just made- I had five ideas, wrote down two, now I have seven-
Send help please-