White Speedo - Tumblr Posts
Looking in the mirror, Chris’ found his nightmare coming true. He woke up more perfect than the day before. Chris neared a panic. He needed to pull himself together, but wasn’t that part of the problem!? UGH! What was he doing?!?
That’s when Chris just stopped believing in winning all together. Like Santa Clause, it was fun to a point. Then it seemed cruel. Now, it just doesn’t really make sense. It was also really, really, REALLY expensive.
How was it you had to lie to make money to buy Christmas gifts AND to give them?!? NO THK U.
UGGGHHH. It was official. Winning, perfection and Santa Clause all sucked donkey butt. GREAT. Now what?
Maybe Brad would suck his butt? That would be nice.
Chris was comfortable almost anywhere.
It was just difficult to fan Dallas. What was the point of all this glass if it only reflected light?! It could be SOOOO much hotter properly mirrored. Like SOOOO much hotter.
Niccolo Neri
Soooooo Luke showed up for a swim and apparently Charlie Cornered the notion of clever pockets on spendy exotic gay menswear. That put a damper on Brad and Chris’ Hot Pockets line. Well, it was cute for a minute. Luke’s ass just plain hot.
What? That’s not Luke but Brad? Well then which one am I? I’m guessing Chris or Luke. I’m not good with cameras tho so I must be Brad. Does that even make sense? My god. What is wrong with us?! One fine ass with a hot pocket and it’s over. It is mighty fine tho. You have to admit that.
🤍
Chris ordered flapjacks with Cabana Banana Nut Bread Spread using Brad’s dough. He was so excited Chris thought to nut himself.
It was at that moment Chris fell into a blissful state of wonder. What was he thinking? Was he thinking? What was thinking anyway?
Chris would snap out of it once the tide rolled in enough to cover his bulge. It was nature's way of saying 'the show's over folks!'
It was undoubtedly one up from a fat lady singing. That saying never made sense to Chris. His boyfriend Brad explained how it came to be to Chris umpteen times, and even with his boyfriend's use of AI infused flow charts and digital puppetry, the concept was never fully grasped.
Did most operas really end with a fat lady singing? #1 Boring #2 It would be ridiculous if not patronizing. Chris knew there was no way, every series on Netflx would just happen to end with the same character. How then did it happen for opera? It read more than coincidental and was just plain fishy.
The entire notion finally came together for Chris when he read on operasense.com only 3.3% of Americans actually attend opera. His sanity was further underscored when he learned almost four times as many Americans watched Netflix using someone else's password.
All was good with the world.
Brad would pass on OperaSense stock options the following day.
Hocus POTUS!
Make Presidents Day Gay Again!!!
XOXO Brad and Chris
Deep down, Brad and Chris’ neighbor Luke knew there was an “I” “aye” or “eye” in team. He just didn’t know which one.
ARRR!
IJBOL Oh god. For whatever reason, Brad’s neighbor Luke’s diagnosis still made him laugh. Why couldn’t he just stop? Luke was standing right there, and his boyfriend Chris wasn’t helping.
Click!
The photo Chris took of Brad hit Insta 10 seconds later.
Fresh off the gay heritage photo shoot Brad felt overwhelmed with cravings. A hot, plump, steamy burrito sure sounded good. Ohhhh. He thought. What about some huge juicy meatballs with thick creamy Alfredo sauce?
Well, this was a hard one he mused feeling very conflicted. Brad then asked a question of himself. Was Alfredo still in town? He’d need to text his boyfriend Chris as that would likely be the determining factor.
All of Chris’ friends were gay. Oh. So was his boyfriend Brad.
Life was good to Chris that way.
