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i love flirting with shy girls, like aw baby, all shy and wet just because i told you how fuckable you look for me?<3

when things fade; a | jjk

pairing: jungkook x reader

word count: 1.4k

rating: g

genre: angst, established relationship, break up

warnings: leaving a long term relationship, miscommunication, this time gukkie gets hurt :(

summary: sometimes it's time to leave.

a/n: felt like making myself sad again so here y'all go

masterlist

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It's not the first time this thought lingered in your mind.

It crossed your mind for several times now, just a fleeting moment, you never thought about it for more than a second. Shaking it off as soon as your brain conjured it up.

But this time you didn't ignore it.

This time you actually packed your suitcase and decided to leave Jungkook.

Your nerves are totally frazzled.

You can no longer bear to live your life in the shadows of this broken relationship. Can't stand to look into the eyes of the man who promised you a future and watch him destroy the future he always talked about with a dreamy look on his face.

You don't deserve this. And neither does he.

You were going to talk to him about this at dinner. But he didn't show up, like he has so many times before.

You feel pathetic for waiting for him. Absolutely ridiculous for still having hope to see your relationship heal again overnight.

It's been five years.

And the past months have been the worst.

You always thought he'd be yours for a lifetime. You didn't see this coming, not even in your most horrific nightmares.

,,I'm leaving him," you say after your best friend, Seulgi, answered your call. You fiddle with the blanket on the edge of the bed, trying to calm your nervous state.

,,Are you sure you want to do this?" There's concern in her voice. She always wants the best for you, can't stand it when you are suffering.

,,I..." You heave a sigh. All the weight on your back seems to crush you. You are fatigued from all the pain this relationship makes you feel. ,,I can't keep up with this anymore. This...This is not what I want to spend my twenties with. A man that doesn't care about our relationship and doesn't put any efforts to keep it alive."

,,You didn't talk to him yet, did you?"

,,I didn't...," you say. After you woke up in an empty, cold bed today, you promised yourself that you'd have a conversation with Jungkook. Clear things out, and perhaps try a restart. You texted him. He said he would be there, wouldn't come late like usually. But he didn't. You waited two hours. He never showed up.

Your eyes brim with tears. ,,I wanted to have a conversation about this at dinner today. But guess what, he didn't show up. Again." You wipe your eyes, drying the unshed tears. ,,I don't know where all of this is going with him, and to be honest, I don't want to find out how this will look like in a few months," you say, a trembling inhale coming from you. ,,I haven't been happy for such a long time and I just can't anymore."

,,I...I still believe he loves you, don't you think the same?" Seulgi didn't see Jungkook for a while now. But she is certain that this boy could never fall out of love with you. Maybe you are both just going through a rough time now, but the love between you two should be able to overcome it.

,,No, god, no. I don't think he does," you utter. ,,I don't think he loves me anymore." There's no way. There could be no way. ,,It's even worse if he still actually loves me. He shouldn't be treating someone he loves this way."

,,When are you going?"

,,I packed my things," you tell, clearing your throat. ,,My taxi should be here in the next minutes." A quick glance to the clock tells you that you should probably leave the apartment soon.

You stand up, walking towards your suitcase.

,,You know my door is always open for you. If you want you can stay here as long as you feel like," she offers.

,,Thank you, really. But I'm going to stay with my mother for a while."

,,Come over in the next few day though, I miss you."

A faint smile falls on your lips. ,,Sure."

And then you hang up. Sighing, feeling utterly hollow inside.

As you walk out the bedroom door with your suitcase, your eyes scan the spacious apartment. You shouldn't be doing this. You shouldn't be looking for him while knowing damn well that he won't be there. You should not be having hope when the longing ache inside you always grows bigger and bigger with every disappointment Jungkook inflicts on you.

But you can't prevent the twinge in your heart when you're met with an empty and lonely apartment.

You leave with quick steps. You hate looking at the once lively and with love filled apartment when it's the absolute opposite now.

It's for the better, you tell yourself after getting into your taxi. You will both get happier by being apart from each other.

Hopefully.

~

,,I'm leaving him."

He stops. Hand hovering over the doorknob. The door to your shared bedroom is left ajar.

,,I..." You heave a sigh. You sound exhausted. Tired. ,,I can't keep up with this anymore. This...This is not what I want to spend my twenties with. A man that doesn't care about our relationship and doesn't put any efforts to keep it alive."

His hearts aches. You're talking about him. With whoever it is that you are having a call with.

,,I didn't..." you say, voice is thick. You're on the verge of tears. He knows that, without having to see you. ,,I wanted to have a conversation about this at dinner today. But guess what, he didn't show up. Again."

He really tried to make it today. But there was one thing he had to get done after work. He didn't realise it would take this long, and maybe he should have called you or send a message at least, but he is too accustomed to not do that anymore, so he didn't inform you.

He should have, he realises, when you start to sniff.

,,I don't know where all of this is going with him and to be honest I don't want to find out how this will look like in a few months," you say, a trembling inhale coming from you. ,,I haven't been happy for such a long time and I just can't anymore."

He didn't know that you felt this miserable. You never talked to him. But neither did he approach you.

,,No, god, no. I don't think he does," you say. ,,I don't think he loves me anymore."

It's a sting coming right from his heart. Face going blank as he registers your words.

Jungkook wants to barge in and deny it, embrace you tightly and tell you over and over again how much he loves you. How he never stopped loving you. How he will never stop loving you.

But his feet are cemented to the ground. Not moving an inch.

,,It's even worse if he still actually loves me. He shouldn't be treating someone he loves this way."

You're right. And he's sorry. Too late, he thinks. It's too late to feel sorry now.

,,I packed my things," you tell, clearing your throat, voice still laced with so much dolour. ,,My taxi should be here in the next minutes."

He hears you standing up, walking through the room. Jungkook immediately panics. The past months of your rocky relationship have him taught well what to do in situations he doesn't want to be confronted with.

He leaves.

He leaves the apartment, careful to be as quiet as possible.

He gets in his car and drives away. No route or plan as to where to go, he just knows that he wants to be far, far away.

His head gets swamped with so many different thoughts, but he manages to ignore all of them. Doesn't pay any attention to the burning ache in his chest. Eyes stinging with tears, but they don't come out.

The little satin box in the pocket of his jacket gets heavier the more the distance between you two increases.

The one he thoughtfully picked out for you after he was done with work today. The dainty ring kept hidden in the box was a hard decision to make, there were too many to decide from, and too many that would have looked absolutely stunning on your finger.

The effort he put forth to choose the perfect ring had been totally futile, he has to admit to himself.

But how was he supposed to know that the ring would not see the light of day after he placed it in the small satin casket with his a pounding heart?

He was incognisant.

Incognisant, and way too much in love to face reality.

And now he has lost you.

Jon why would you call out your fathers not so platonic feelings about his coworker like this

hey rb and tag a food from your culture that everyone loves but you hate