Andrasteowain - Welcome!

This is my favorite character from homestuck

Love the way she looks so cool. Can't wait to see more.

[ID: a drawing of kanaya maryam on a space background and space sign. she's a fat homestuck troll drawn with green horns and orange scleras. she is wearing a dark shirt with the virgo symbol in green with long sleeves underneath, and a red skirt that reaches her ankles. she's wearing dark flats, and has her hands clapsed at her hip. she's grinning widely. underneath it is a banner that says "please reblop my art, likes do literally nothing to help the artist". /end IDs]

The other day I watched a little boy get knocked to the ground by an older kid who was running by. He burst into tears as his mother hurried over.

“Here’s a bandaid for ya,” I said, producing one from my vest pocket.

“Oh, he’s not bleeding, thank you though!”

I lowered my voice and leaned in. “Kids think bandaids are health magic,” I said. “Ask him where it hurts and exploit that placebo effect.”

She did just that, and instantly the kid stopped crying and thanked her. “I’ll have to remember that,” she said.

Children: #HACKED

bobby time.

My beloved little scrimbus <3

Also if you haven't watched monkey wrench on YouTube please for the love of God go do. It's got literally everything including giant buff dinosaur lady. It's got goofy music, smooth animation, and I really want more so please go support the creator

Schadenfreude - D&D Custom Spell

A bit of a joke spell, but a spell nonetheless (should’ve uploaded this on April fools day but whatever) 

1st-level echantment

Casting time: 1 reaction | Range: 40 ft. | Components: V, S | Duration: Instantaneous

You mock the death of an enemy, tormenting its allies. When an enemy that you can see within range falls to 0 hp, you can use a reaction to cast this spell. You laugh outrageously at the now dead creature, finding humor in its death. When you do this, all of the dead creature’s allies within 60 ft. of the dead creature that can see both you and their fallen ally must make a Wisdom saving throw. Affected creatures take 1d6 Psychic damage on a failed save, and half as much on a successful one. This spell does not effect enemies who have an Intelligence score of 7 or less, or creatures that can’t hear.

      Additionally, if an enemy dies, comes back to life, then dies again in the same combat encounter, then you can cast this spell without expending a spell slot.

At higher levels: When you cast this spell using a higher spell slot, the damage increases by 1d6 for each spell slot above 1st.

This is a Bard Spell.