Savage Love

S͟a͟v͟a͟g̲e͟ L͟o͟v͟e͟

Pairing: Jimin X OC. Jungkook X OC

Length: 10,000+ words

Rating: 15+ (it has no sexual activity or extreme violence, but has adult themes like cheating, toxic relationship, pregnancy and swearing, some mention of sexual themes but not graphic)

TW/Content: Angsty,angsty fluff, sadness, anger, mild violence (punching), depression, low self esteem, toxic relationship, hateful words, gaslighting, emotionally abusive, jealousy, mentally abusive, arguing and shouting, OC is chubby, unrequited love (but not really), male best friend is always there, clueless best friends, cheating, pregnancy (not OC) fluffy best friend, swearing, bad body image, Angst with happy ending, feelings exposed.

Kissing and hugging, mention of sexual things but no actual sexual content.

(Maybe in a part two if I feel like it)

But Jungkook has soft dom energy in the the way he talks to her and treats her.

OC and Jimin being savage loves in their own ways.

Genre: Angst, Toxic relationship, break up, angsty with a happy ending. Best friends being clueless.

Authors note: Not proof read but checked quickly by myself, was written in a day so it just flew out of my head.

Capitals means they are shouting or screaming at each other, which meant that when she tells Jimin off she is really MAD!

Wanted to prove I could write something without the story getting sexual or yandere etc. And I would SHARE IT!

Sorry about the font, but not going over it to change it now. Had trouble with copy and paste, but I like it this way!

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F͟l͟a͟s͟h͟b͟a͟c͟k͟

"𝑰'𝒎 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒔𝒍𝒆𝒆𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒅...."

𝑨 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒚 𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒅𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒊𝒔 𝒄𝒖𝒓𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒍𝒚 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔, 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒂𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆.

"𝑪𝑨𝑵𝑫𝑰𝑪𝑬!!! 𝑾𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲!!!"

𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏 𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒌𝒔 𝒖𝒑 𝒕𝒐 𝒖𝒔 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒔𝒐𝒍𝒖𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒚 𝒇𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒎𝒆.

"𝑺𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒉𝒆𝒓, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒏'𝒕!"

𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒆𝒙𝒂𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅.

𝑰'𝒎 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒄𝒌 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒎𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒃𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆.

"𝑯𝒐𝒘 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒅𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆 𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏? 𝑯𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒏'𝒕 𝒊 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒆𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒂𝒍𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒚?! 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒚𝒆𝒕 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒕 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅'𝒕 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏! 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒎𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓'𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆!!"

𝑰 𝒚𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒌𝒆, 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝑰 𝒂𝒎 𝒅𝒐𝒏𝒆.

𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒇𝒂𝒓𝒄𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒏𝒐𝒘, 𝒊'𝒗𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒆𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉.

"𝑩𝒖𝒕 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆! 𝑰𝒕'𝒔 𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝑰 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆, 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆. 𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒂 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒅! 𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒔! 𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒃𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒕!!“

𝑯𝒆 𝒆𝒙𝒄𝒍𝒂𝒊𝒎𝒔 𝒑𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒍𝒆𝒈𝒈𝒚 𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒅𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒘𝒉𝒐 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒅 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒚 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒆 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒔𝒂𝒊𝒅.

"𝑬𝑿𝑪𝑼𝑺𝑬 𝑴𝑬! 𝑰𝑻 𝑾𝑨𝑺 𝑵𝑶𝑻 𝑨 𝑶𝑵𝑬 𝑵𝑰𝑮𝑯𝑻 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑱𝑰𝑴𝑰𝑵!! 𝑶𝑹 𝑳𝑰𝑬𝑺!"

𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒔 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒚 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒃𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒆.

"𝑺𝒉𝒖𝒕 𝒖𝒑 𝑪𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒆!"

𝑯𝒆 𝒈𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒔 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒉 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒓𝒚.

"𝑰 𝑾𝑰𝑳𝑳 𝑵𝑶𝑻 𝑺𝑯𝑼𝑻 𝑼𝑷!! 𝑺𝑯𝑬 𝑫𝑬𝑺𝑬𝑹𝑽𝑬𝑺 𝑻𝑶 𝑲𝑵𝑶𝑾!!"

𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒆𝒙𝒄𝒍𝒂𝒊𝒎𝒔 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒅𝒍𝒚.

𝑷𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒂𝒕𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒇𝒊𝒍𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒚 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒖𝒎𝒂 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏....𝑮𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕!!

"𝑰 𝑺𝑨𝑰𝑫 𝑺𝑯𝑼𝑻 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲 𝑼𝑷!!"

𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏 𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎𝒔 𝒊𝒏 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒕 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒎𝒆 𝒇𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒉 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒅 𝒊𝒕 𝒊𝒔, 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒈𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒚.

𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏'𝒕 𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒗𝒆 𝒉𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒑𝒉𝒚𝒔𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒉𝒆𝒓, 𝒂𝒔 𝒉𝒆'𝒔 𝒂 𝒑𝒊𝒆𝒄𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒕 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒉𝒆’𝒔 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒑𝒉𝒚𝒔𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒃𝒖𝒔𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆!

"𝑯𝑶𝑾 𝑫𝑨𝑹𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑮𝑬𝑻 𝑰𝑵 𝑴𝒀 𝑭𝑨𝑪𝑬!!"

𝑪𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝒑𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒑𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒓𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎.

"𝑫𝒐 𝑵𝑶𝑻 𝒕𝒐𝒖𝒄𝒉 𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏! 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒑𝒊𝒆𝒄𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒕!!"

𝑯𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒉𝒂𝒊𝒓 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒔 𝒑𝒖𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌.

"𝑰'𝒎 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝑨𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒆, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑪𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒏𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒕𝒔 𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏'𝒔 𝒃𝒂𝒃𝒚. 𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒆𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒌𝒔 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒏𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒌𝒆𝒆𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒃𝒚. 𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒓𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒕𝒐 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒄𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒏 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒘𝒐 𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒘. 𝑯𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒊𝒏𝒗𝒐𝒍𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒘𝒐 𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒌𝒔 𝒂𝒈𝒐. 𝑯𝒆 𝒌𝒆𝒑𝒕 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒔𝒉 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖, 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒐𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒆𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒘. 𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒅𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒏'𝒕"

𝑯𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒔 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒔𝒆𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒌𝒆 𝒎𝒆.

"𝑭𝑶𝑹 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲𝑺 𝑺𝑨𝑲𝑬 𝑴𝑨𝑵𝑫𝒀!!! 𝑰 𝑺𝑨𝑰𝑫 𝑰 𝑾𝑶𝑼𝑳𝑫 𝑻𝑬𝑳𝑳 𝑯𝑬𝑹!!"

𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒔 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅, 𝒔𝒐 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒆.

𝑴𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒌𝒔, 𝒊'𝒎 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝑰 𝒂𝒎 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒂𝒑𝒔𝒆, 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒊'𝒎 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒂 𝒑𝒂𝒏𝒊𝒄 𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒂𝒄𝒌.

𝑰𝒕'𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒂𝒅𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒑𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒖𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒔𝒆𝒆 𝑻𝒂𝒆𝒉𝒚𝒖𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒎𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒉 𝒈𝒂𝒑𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒏.

𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒈𝒐𝒆𝒔 𝒒𝒖𝒊𝒆𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰𝒕'𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒑𝒔, 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒓𝒖𝒏 𝒂𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒊'𝒎 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒄𝒌 𝒊𝒏 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒆.

𝑾𝒉𝒚 𝒅𝒐 𝑰 𝒑𝒖𝒕 𝒖𝒑 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏?

𝑪𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒐𝒏 𝑨𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒆, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒑𝒖𝒕 𝒖𝒑 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔, 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒅𝒆𝒍𝒖𝒅𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍!

"𝑺𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒆?"

𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏 𝒔𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒒𝒖𝒊𝒆𝒕𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒊𝒎.

"𝑰𝒕'𝒔 𝒐𝒌𝒂𝒚, 𝒘𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝑰 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖, 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝑺𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒏𝒐 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏, 𝑰 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒆𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒈𝒐 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏 𝒑𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒏 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒖𝒑 𝒂𝒏𝒚𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒓 𝒈𝒐 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒄𝒍𝒖𝒃𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒆. 𝑩𝒖𝒕 𝒊 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒚𝒆𝒅 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒊 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖. 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒅𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒓, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒏'𝒕 𝒔𝒍𝒆𝒆𝒑 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍 𝒂𝒏𝒅.."

𝑯𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒓𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒓𝒚 𝒈𝒂𝒔𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒃𝒂𝒃𝒚 𝒎𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒂 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒂𝒄𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒂𝒖𝒍𝒕 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏.

𝑰 𝒐𝒇𝒇𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒔𝒏𝒂𝒑!

"𝑫𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕! 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑱𝑰𝑴𝑰𝑵! 𝑰 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑯𝑨𝑻𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼!! 𝑮𝑬𝑻 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑯𝑬𝑳𝑳 𝑨𝑾𝑨𝒀 𝑭𝑹𝑶𝑴 𝑴𝑬!! 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑫𝑰𝑫 𝑻𝑯𝑰𝑺 𝑻𝑶 𝑴𝑬!! 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑻𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑻𝑬𝑫 𝑴𝑬 𝑳𝑰𝑲𝑬 𝑺𝑯𝑰𝑻 𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑴𝑨𝑫𝑬 𝑴𝑬 𝑭𝑬𝑬𝑳 𝑳𝑰𝑲𝑬 𝑺𝑯𝑰𝑻! 𝑰 𝑾𝑨𝑺 𝑵𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑹 𝑳𝑰𝑲𝑬 𝑻𝑯𝑰𝑺 𝑩𝑬𝑭𝑶𝑹𝑬 𝑰 𝑴𝑬𝑻 𝒀𝑶𝑼!!“

𝑰 𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒉𝒆 𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒔 𝒎𝒆, 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒃𝒚 𝒎𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒂 𝑪𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒆.

𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝑰 𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒖𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒔𝒏𝒂𝒑 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒄𝒓𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒓 𝒓𝒖𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒇𝒇 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅.

"𝑮𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒍𝒖𝒄𝒌! 𝑰'𝒎 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒈𝒐𝒕 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒏𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒃𝒚 𝒉𝒊𝒎. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒈𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒊𝒕, 𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒏 𝒎𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒆 𝒚𝒆𝒂𝒓'𝒔! 𝑺𝒍𝒆𝒑𝒕 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒚 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒂 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒏𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅, 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒕𝒄𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒔. 𝑻𝒉𝒐𝒔𝒆 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒘𝒐 𝒐𝒇 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒚 𝒘𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒏, 𝒂𝒍𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒏𝒂𝒏𝒕, 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝑺𝑻𝑫'𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒔𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒅. 𝑯𝒆 𝒈𝒂𝒔𝒍𝒊𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒂𝒅𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒅𝒆𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅, 𝒂𝒏𝒙𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒚𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇! 𝑩𝒆𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒆! 𝑩𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒐𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒂 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒂 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒓!"

𝑰 𝒔𝒄𝒐𝒇𝒇 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒊 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒂𝒕 𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏, 𝑰 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒛𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰'𝒎 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒖𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒚 𝒅𝒐𝒏𝒆.

"𝑮𝑶𝑶𝑫𝑩𝒀𝑬 𝑱𝑰𝑴𝑰𝑵! 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑵𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑹 𝑺𝑯𝑶𝑾 𝒀𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑭𝑨𝑪𝑬 𝑨𝑹𝑶𝑼𝑵𝑫 𝑴𝑬 𝑨𝑮𝑨𝑰𝑵! 𝑰'𝑴 𝑨𝑩𝑺𝑶𝑳𝑼𝑻𝑬𝑳𝒀 𝑫𝑶𝑵𝑬!!"

𝑰 𝒔𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎, 𝑰'𝒎 𝒂𝒃𝒔𝒐𝒍𝒖𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒚 𝒓𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒈.

"𝒀𝑬𝑨𝑯 𝑮𝑶 𝑭𝑰𝑵𝑫 𝑱𝑼𝑵𝑮𝑲𝑶𝑶𝑲 𝑳𝑰𝑲𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑨𝑳𝑾𝑨𝒀𝑺 𝑫𝑶! 𝑰'𝑴 𝑺𝑼𝑹𝑬 𝑯𝑬 𝑾𝑰𝑳𝑳 𝑴𝑨𝑲𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑭𝑬𝑬𝑳 𝑩𝑬𝑻𝑻𝑬𝑹!! 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑯𝑨𝑽𝑬 𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑩𝑨𝑩𝑳𝒀 𝑩𝑬𝑬𝑵 𝑺𝑳𝑬𝑬𝑷𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑾𝑰𝑻𝑯 𝑯𝑰𝑴 𝑨𝑵𝒀𝑾𝑨𝒀, 𝑰 𝑪𝑨𝑵 𝑻𝑬𝑳𝑳 𝑯𝑬 𝑾𝑨𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑫 𝑻𝑶 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑾𝑯𝑶𝑳𝑬 𝑻𝑰𝑴𝑬!! 𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑫𝑬𝑭𝑰𝑵𝑰𝑻𝑬𝑳𝒀 𝑾𝑨𝑺𝑵'𝑻 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑴𝑬 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑳𝑨𝑺𝑻 𝑺𝑰𝑿 𝑴𝑶𝑵𝑻𝑯𝑺!!"

𝑯𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒔 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒂𝒕 𝒎𝒆.

"𝑫𝑶𝑵'𝑻 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑹 𝑻𝑨𝑳𝑲 𝑨𝑩𝑶𝑼𝑻 𝑱𝑼𝑵𝑮𝑲𝑶𝑶𝑲 𝑳𝑰𝑲𝑬 𝑻𝑯𝑨𝑻!!! 𝑴𝑨𝒀𝑩𝑬 𝑰 𝑺𝑯𝑶𝑼𝑳𝑫 𝑯𝑨𝑽𝑬 𝑮𝑶𝑻𝑻𝑬𝑵 𝑾𝑰𝑻𝑯 𝑯𝑰𝑴 𝑩𝑬𝑭𝑶𝑹𝑬 𝑰 𝑴𝑬𝑻 𝒀𝑶𝑼, 𝑺𝑶 𝑰 𝑾𝑶𝑼𝑳𝑫 𝑯𝑨𝑽𝑬 𝑵𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑹 𝑮𝑶𝑻 𝑾𝑰𝑻𝑯 𝒀𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑨𝑺𝑺! 𝑨𝑺 𝑯𝑬'𝑺 𝑾𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑨 𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑳 𝑴𝑨𝑵 𝑨𝑪𝑻'𝑺 𝑳𝑰𝑲𝑬! 𝑵𝑶𝑻 𝑳𝑰𝑲𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑺𝑬𝑹𝑰𝑨𝑳 𝑪𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑵𝑮, 𝑬𝑴𝑶𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑨𝑳𝑳𝒀 𝑨𝑩𝑼𝑺𝑰𝑽𝑬, 𝑮𝑨𝑺𝑳𝑰𝑮𝑯𝑻𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑨𝑺𝑺!! 𝑰 𝑯𝑨𝑽𝑬 𝑵𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑹 𝑪𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑻𝑬𝑫 𝑶𝑵 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑵 𝑻𝑯𝑶𝑼𝑮𝑯 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑫𝑬𝑺𝑬𝑹𝑽𝑬𝑫 𝑰𝑻!! 𝑺𝑶 𝑲𝑬𝑬𝑷 𝑴𝒀 𝑩𝑬𝑺𝑻 𝑭𝑹𝑰𝑬𝑵𝑫𝑺 𝑵𝑨𝑴𝑬 𝑶𝑼𝑻 𝑶𝑭 𝒀𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑺𝑻𝑫 𝑹𝑰𝑫𝑫𝑬𝑵 𝑴𝑶𝑼𝑻𝑯!! 𝑮𝑶𝑶𝑫𝑩𝒀𝑬 𝑨𝑺𝑺𝑯𝑶𝑳𝑬!“

𝑰 𝒚𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒊𝒏 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒑𝒖𝒔𝒉 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒇𝒇, 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒌 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝑱𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒌𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕!

𝑰 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝑻𝒂𝒆𝒉𝒚𝒖𝒏𝒈 𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒂 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍 𝒑𝒊𝒆𝒄𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒔 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒌 𝒐𝒇𝒇, 𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒔 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒕𝒐 𝒇𝒖𝒄𝒌 𝒐𝒇𝒇.

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝑪𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒆'𝒔 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎, 𝑰 𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒍𝒂𝒑𝒔 𝒉𝒊𝒎.

𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒌𝒆𝒆𝒑𝒔 𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒅 𝒉𝒊𝒈𝒉, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑰 𝒅𝒐, 𝑰'𝒎 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒆!

𝑰'𝒎 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐𝒐 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒂𝒔 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒌 𝒐𝒇𝒇, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏 𝒊𝒔𝒏’𝒕 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎.

𝑵𝒐𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒚𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆!

========================================

All I can do is sob and I can't think of anything else, I can't sleep, I haven't showered or bathed in four days and I haven't thought of eating either, I tried to but it tastes like cardboard.

I feel like I just got out of a fever dream, one of my own stupid making.

I bet I look dreadful, I know my eyes are swollen and bloodshot and my face is definitely all puffy and red, I know I’m looking awful.

My hair is probably looking like a literal bird's nest right now and my eyes will also be looking black too from zero sleep.

I bet I look like the crypt keeper right now, but a fat one!

I muted my phone calls at first, then I turned it off where there were annoying notification sounds were coming from all my social media too.

Some randoms I didn't even know had been messaging me, I know they are just trying to get the dirt on the absolute shit show that is my life right now.

I know they all filmed what has to be the most humiliating moment of my life, I hope my brother doesn't see it but I bet Jungkook heard about it from Taehyung who was there too.

So that means Jin probably does know.

I don’t want any lectures or pity parties.

I cringe knowing that everyone is gonna say I told you so, but really they all don't know the truth of why I stayed with him.

Someone was banging on my door for half an hour yesterday but I didn't answer it, just in case it was Jimin.

As I didn't want to see him or listen to his gaslighting ass.

He tried knocking on the door and calling all day Sunday after his baby momma and her friend had told me what he had done.

This is the thing he couldn't ever fix, not this time. . . It's permanent.

And my toxic nightmare is finally over. . . It’s finally done.

Why does he always do this to me?

He always cheats on me and then comes back telling me that he was wasted, drunk or the woman came onto him.

Then he manipulates me, lies, gas lights me and then cries if I don't listen to his apologies.

He knows how much it messes with my head, with my body image, especially when the women are tall, model looking and slim.

I'm short and also chubby, I wear glasses and wear cute and comfortable clothes, not short tight dresses.

Someone is currently banging on my door again and I just pull the quilt over my head trying to hide from the whole world.

I can hear someone shouting but I just put my hands over my ears and hum childishly under the blankets wanting the shouting and banging to stop.

When the banging stops I sigh, why don't they get that I don't want anyone's pity or fake sad faces, I don't want anyone asking me bullshit questions under the guise of being nice just so they can get the tea about my trauma.

And I definitely don't want to see Jimin.

I don't want to talk about how my heart has been ripped from my chest and stomped on, and not just by Jimin.

Or how there is no coming back from this, no lie or manipulation can make this go away, it's the permanent kind of mistake that I don't want to live with or have to deal with, not anymore.

I can't keep my mind occupied from what really torments me, I usually distract my mind with the drama Jimin brings me but not anymore, but this is too much.

Jimin made his bed and he can damn well lay in it, we are done and I'm finally grieving the utter disappointment, disaster and despair my relationship with him has been.

This whole relationship has damaged my soul and will leave a permanent mark.

Toxic wasn't a strong enough word to describe what our relationship was.

When I jumped into this relationship it was to forget someone else, but it never worked.

I’d never have to be there waiting for him to come home from the club anymore, or knowing I’m sleeping alone yet again.

Calling him only to get voicemail again or texting and seeing that he’s left me on read for the thousandth time.

Having people DM me to tell me that they are sleeping with Jimin or that they have just seen Jimin cheating with someone.

Or the multiple women’s scents lingering on his clothes, the occasional makeup smears on his shirt.

The marks he insists are scratches or pinch marks from working out.

My heart is no longer in my chest and I feel hollow and empty, but I also feel a strange calm, a feeling of relief that I can finally break free from this toxic and painful farce of a relationship.

It's cathartic and it feels like I have broken free from him mentally, emotionally and physically.

I'm grieving the painful loss but I'm scared of being alone after all my friends left or betrayed me because of him and of course some left because of me staying with him after his cheating.

It's been three years of me eating away my sorrows, crying into my best friend's arms, getting medication to deal with my depression and anxiety because of the pain and suffering.

Three years of my body looking worse and me not caring about my appearance anymore, because that's how I feel inside. . . Worthless and hollow.

Like I would never deserve or get the man I really wanted, he’s proven time and time again that he only wants to be my best friend.

When I think about it I don't ever remember a time when Jimin wasn't hurting me or making me feel like a piece of garbage.

Our honeymoon period was about six months and then it went to shit, then I found out he had cheated.

My friends all warned me away from him when I was in my first year of college and I should have listened, I was stupid and thought I could see the best in people.

One by one my friends had arguments with me about him, lost interest because of my depression and me not going out much anymore, or they slept with Jimin too.

The only ones I still see are my brother Seokjin and my best friend Jungkook, even though they don't see me as much due to them having arguments with Jimin about how he treats me.

Taehyung is sometimes still around due to Jungkook and Jin though.

But I don't see Yoongi or Namjoon anymore because they detest Jimin.

I have lost count of the amount of times Jin had Jimin by his shirt threatening to punch his lights out.

Jungkook punched him once for sleeping with my other best friend Sharmin, they were doing it behind my back for six months.

This was at the beginning of the second year of our relationship.

My other childhood friend Denise slept with him on a drunken night out too, it was the night that I went to my auntie's wedding with Jin and Jungkook.

Jimin didn't want to come to the wedding with me because my family really hates him and he refused to be judged by them.

I wasn't aware that they all knew he was a cheater because Jin had told them.

That incident with Denise was the first time I was aware of him cheating on me, others already knew he was a cheater and they all tried to shield me from it.

They tried to force Jimin to break up with me but he never did, he would just goad them and tell them to fuck off.

It’s why Yoongi had punched him, he was vile about it and had got up in Yoongi’s face too.

The others knew because they had caught Jimin in the act multiple times, they had all threatened him, had him by the throat and had even punched him.

A mutual friend called Taehyung took a picture of them kissing in the club that night and had sent it to Jungkook’s phone, who totally gave it away by the look on his face and I found out because I grabbed his phone feeling worried for him.

It was then that he told me everything and explained how it wasn't the first time, I also found out that day that Jimin was cheating on me the whole time.

He promised to change and I believed him like a stupid idiot, I clung to a useless pipe dream.

Should've known better.

Jungkook has been my best friend since we were six and we have both grown up together, we went through our teens learning and making mistakes.

We had shared our first kiss when we were 13, a peck and it was a dare at a sleepover and Jungkook was a little awkward for a few weeks after but we got over it.

Both of us started having a rebellious stage when we were both sixteen.

We were bunking off school and daring each other to do things, getting drunk and smoking weed.

We once went skinny dipping because of a dare and another time I had to flash him, we had our first French kiss together at 16 too and we made out grinding on each other when we were wasted too, but Jungkook obviously didn't remember it because he got a girlfriend two weeks later.

We are the kind of friends who are comfortable cuddling and sharing a bed, telling each other our secrets and dreams.

I had a huge crush on him all through my childhood and teen years, by the time I was sixteen I knew that I was totally in love with him.

I lamented the whole thing and tortured myself about telling him, I was worried that I would love him.

I was finally going to tell him on my seventeenth birthday after my other friend Denise told me to go for it, but a few days before I was going to surprise him he got a girlfriend and my heart literally broke into pieces.

I stayed his friend and had to watch him be with another girl, so I had to learn to separate my crush from my friendship.

The only boyfriend I have ever had was Jimin.

I told Jungkook I had a boyfriend when he asked me what the surprise was but I didn't have one.

I lied when he got his first girlfriend and wasn't spending as much time with me, by the time he finished with the girl I just said I split up with the fake boyfriend.

I also lied and told him I had sex with that boyfriend before I met Jimin, I didn't though.

He was disappointed at me for staying with Jimin and our relationship suffered a lot because he would get angry at me every time I forgave Jimin.

Jungkook would argue with me, with hurt feelings he would stay away for a few days then come back, knowing how hurt I would be to lose him too.

========================================

I panic when I hear the keys unlock my front door, wondering who the hell would have the spare keys.

Who would be able to get them from my mother?

I hope it's not Seokjin as he will kill Jimin this time and I don't want him to get arrested due to me.

I grip on to my quilt when I hear the footsteps approaching, I don't want anyone to see me like this.

"Princess?"

I breath hitches immediately and I hear him sigh, he tries to pull the quilt from me.

"Baby, come on it's okay, let me see you"

I pull the quilt from my head and my lip quivers when he looks down to me with sad eyes.

"Oh my Princess, come here"

He pulls me into his arms and I straddle him crying my heart out, he smooths my back softly rocking me.

"It's okay Baby, it's gonna be okay. I'm here now and I'm gonna take care of my Princess"

Jungkook has come like he usually does. Why does he always come to save me, comfort me and look after me?

I don't deserve his kindness and love.

He's had to put up with this kind of shit for the three years of me being with Jimin and he still hasn't left this friendship.

"I heard from Taehyung that you had a huge argument in college with Jimin, he only picked up some details, I'm so sorry Baby. You don't deserve this kind of pain, my Princess. I tried calling you and texting and you didn't answer, I got really worried when you didn't answer the door to me Baby. I had to go get the keys from momma when you didn't answer the phone or the door"

He caresses my hair as he carries on gently rocking me, he's always called my Mother momma too.

"He. . . He. . . J-Jungkook. . He. . I. ."

That's it I start sobbing again.

"It's okay Baby, you don't have to talk about it yet, don't upset yourself"

He coos at me kissing the top of my head.

"Don't cry Princess, it hurts my heart, please don't cry"

He sounds forlorn when he talks to me, it’s like he is in pain too.

My cries eventually turn into shudders and I calm down.

I must have fallen asleep in his arms because when I open my eyes again it's dark outside.

He must be stiff from holding me in the same position for so long.

"Are you awake?"

I hear him whisper and I nod into his chest.

"Shall we get you something to eat, and don't say no because I know you haven't ate anything in days, I know you by now"

He quietly says into my hair.

"Not hungry"

I mumble into his chest and he tuts at me.

"Baby, you have to eat! Now I'm gonna help sort you out and we are gonna have something to eat okay!"

Jungkook scolds me and I sigh and slowly start to nod because I know he won't take no for an answer.

"Let's run you a bath first and then get you into some comfy pyjamas, then I'm ordering us some takeaway, okay Princess"

I just mumble okay into his chest.

Jungkook places me on the sofa and goes off to run me a bath, I hear the water running and him moving about.

But being left to my own thoughts gets me crying again, by the time he comes back I'm in a state again.

"Oh my Baby! Come here!"

He says sadly pulling me into his arms picking me up, I cling to him like a koala and just sob.

I think I'm crying for many reasons, the reason I got into the relationship in the first place, the constant cheating, the outcome of said cheating, finally being done with the relationship.

How unloved, drained and damaged he has left me feeling and me feeling like I'm actually going to be free from it, it's finally over.

It's like I feel utter relief, but I'm numb because I carried on with this shit show for only one reason and now I have to live with my thoughts again, my pain.

"Come on my Princess, I'm going to help you alright. Is that okay? I won't look at you, but you need to wash and get into some clean clothes. Is that okay?"

I don't reply at first and just panic in his arms, he can't see me with no clothes on, he will be disgusted and think I look horrible.

He only saw me in underwear a few years back, once when I flashed him as a teen and once naked in the shower by mistake when I was about nineteen, I've put on weight since then.

"Princess?? Answer me! Words. . . Is that okay?"

Jungkook has a stern voice when he asks me and I just nod in his chest.

"Words Baby"

"Hmm okay, y-yes"

I mutter quietly.

"Okay let's go to the bathroom"

He softly replies, pecking my hair.

Jungkook puts me down and I just stare at the ground feeling flustered and embarrassed.

"Arms up Baby, good girl"

I slowly put them up and he slowly pulled my hoodie off.

Then he reaches for my t-shirt and I start to panic because I have no bra on and he is going to see my chubby belly too

Grabbing on to the bottom of my t-shirt to stop him he tuts at me.

"Princess! Are you gonna do it yourself? What's wrong?"

I shake my head and tears start to drop from my eyes.

"Y-You can't see me, I'm gross! J-Jimin said he only cheated because I've turned into a fat pig and I look disgusting! I d-don't want you to be d-disgusted by me or my fat!”

He now looks really angry with me and he cusses loudly.

"He fucking said what?! How dare he talk about my Princess like that! I'm gonna punch his lights out when I see him next!!"

Jungkook looks furious and I start worrying that he is going to get in trouble and I'm not worth getting arrested for.

"NO!! JUNGKOOK! You can't get arrested because of me! I'm not worth it!"

I panic and he just sighs at me.

"You ARE worth it! To ME you are worth it! You are my beautiful best friend and I would go to jail. . . for you"

He tells me with no hesitation in his voice.

"Now stop being stupid, I could NEVER be disgusted by you! Come on, I won't look! Let's get you in the tub before it gets cold"

Jungkook adds pulling my top off looking me in my eyes, my arm goes to my belly immediately but he doesn’t say anything.

He just kneels down and tugs at my leggings looking to the side, then he gingerly takes my socks off.

Only my panties are left so he quickly yanks those down and stands up only looking me in the eyes.

"Come on Baby, get in the tub"

I quickly get in and pull my knees up to my chest, he gives me a small smile and nods to himself in reassurance, picking up my dirty clothes to put them in the washing basket.

"The sponge and body wash is there. I will help you do your hair first okay. Then you can wash yourself, alright Princess"

He quietly says pulling the shower attachment to rinse my hair, I sigh as he runs his fingers through my long tresses.

Stopping he puts shampoo on and massages it in making me hum and put my head back.

"Does that feel relaxing Baby?"

He gives me a little chuckle as I nod.

After finishing my hair he tells me to wash my body and he's going to go order some food.

I nod and gingerly pick up the sponge washing myself all over, after I'm finished he knocks back on the door and asks if I'm ready to get out.

I reply that I am and he walks in holding up a towel and wrapping me up in it.

Then he picks me up and walks me into my room.

He proceeds to dry my hair first and then tells me to dry my body, he goes off when the door buzzer sounds off.

I get myself dried and look at the loungewear set he has set down on the bed for me.

I grab the top first and quickly put it on, then I quickly pull on the bottoms.

Jungkook walks in just as I finish and gives me a small smile.

"Let's put your hair in a plait or something first. The food is here Baby, so let's hurry up and go eat"

I nod and he comes over to comb through my knotty hair, then he does it in a side plait.

Afterwards we sit down to eat, well Jungkook eats and then forces me to eat by feeding me himself when he sees that I just push my food around on my plate.

When he is satisfied that I have eaten enough he cleans the dishes and we snuggle up in my room to watch one of my comfort films.

We watch spirited away, he knows it won't trigger me or remind me of Jimin because he never watched anime with me, he hated it and called it childish.

As I cuddle up to Jungkook I wonder how I can be so lucky to have such a great best friend.

He has always been there for me, he has never left me even after the arguments we have had about Jimin.

Jungkook even put up with Jimin's horrible attitude every time he came to mine, with the constant sarcastic comments and the loud scoffing every time Jungkook talked to me.

He ignored it all just to make me happy.

He came on my birthday to see me, on Christmas days too and never forgot any important events, not like Jimin did.

Jungkook has even put me above the few girlfriends he has had and finished with them when they got jealous of our relationship, one demanded for him to stop seeing me and he refused and finished with her the next day.

He refused to go to any dances with girls that asked in high school too because he would always go with me.

They didn't like him calling me Princess at all or hugging me goodbye or pecking my head, or when he would hold my hand.

Or when he would drop a date to run to me because of Jimin cheating again, when he would tell them he couldn't spend Sundays with them because it was our day together.

I sometimes feel really bad anxiety and guilt about what he has given up due to me, am I stopping him from being happy, from finding love?

I actually told him this once, to stop finishing with his girlfriends because of me and he said if they didn't like his Princess then they aren't the one for him, that they have to be able to deal with the fact that his best friend is a woman.

All of his relationships were short and he told me he never loved them, that it was easy to choose me over them.

But I still feel riddled with an uncomfortable guilt about ruining his relationships and interfering with his dates too.

I feel like I'm subconsciously trying to keep him to myself or that I'm messing with his relationships on purpose because of my own problems and feelings.

That I was toxic because I stayed with Jimin not only because I was trying to forget Jungkook but because he would come comfort me and spoil me for weeks after Jimin had cheated.

========================================

Jungkook has stayed with me all week, he even called the college for me and got me my notes from any classes I needed.

He has been a godsend and an Angel like he always is.

He even spoke to Seokjin and my mother when they came round and I didn't want to talk to anyone yet.

I felt embarrassed because they were all right about Jimin and I had stubbornly ignored all the talks and advice.

Jungkook knew that there was a few videos going around and told me people were actually on my side, but I didn't want to relive it.

Apparently no one at college was saying bad things about me, he told me that they are mad at Jimin for how he treated me AND Candice.

I told him that I still needed a little time and that I wasn't ready to go back and hear the gossip yet.

Jimin tried knocking on the door twice over the last week and Jungkook said I didn't want to see him anymore.

When I finally texted him to come get his things he must have thought he could get in and gaslight me again, but he was definitely not happy when Jungkook was the one that came to the door with a box of his belongings.

He just got into a fight with Jungkook at my front door now too, his attitude stinks.

It happened right after he handed Jimin's things to him in a box because I definitely didn't want to.

Jimin clearly wasn't happy that Jungkook was still with me and had just answered the door in just a pair of sweats and socks with no top on.

Jungkook punched him hard giving him a black eye after he started goading him saying that he must have finally hit it and saw how good my fat ass bounces when you hit it from the back.

That I was really good at sucking dick and that maybe he can finally feel what it's like for me to deep throat him, he was vile with his words.

After that he said that he was glad that Jungkook could finally get with me after pining after me for so long and how horrible it must have been for Jungkook having to listen to him fuck me raw all those times he slept over.

Then I gasped when he said that he made sure that I used to scream extra loud the nights Jungkook stayed over, just to give him something to wank off to, where he felt sorry for him.

That he stayed with me just to piss Jungkook off and how he always used to laugh with his friends when he used to see how sad and love sick he was over me, Jungkook totally lost it punching him again making his nose bleed.

He was absolutely fuming when he slammed the door in his face, it made a picture fall on the floor and I could see how furious he was as he paced around the room.

I just walked over and cuddled him, it stopped his pacing, luckily it calmed him down enough to not go beat Jimin's ass, because he looked ready to go back to the front door and kill him.

When I asked him if he was okay he just kissed me on the head and then nodded silently, then quietly saying he just needed a few minutes alone, then he walked off to the bathroom slamming the door hard.

I sat there feeling really uncomfortable because of what Jimin had just said to Jungkook, surely Jungkook doesn't feel that way about me, he would have told me. . . Wouldn't he?

He always told me everything, we never kept secrets from each other.

Why was Jimin saying those things?

I knew Jimin was jealous of Jungkook and that's all it sounded like up until the fight I last had with him and he had mentioned Jungkook in jealousy.

But what Jimin just said to him was too much, what does he know that I don't?

What did Jimin see that I didn't?

I know that I have always loved Jungkook but he never felt that way about me, did he?

When Jungkook doesn't come out of the bathroom I quietly walk over to the door on top toes, I’m about to knock but I pause when I hear him sniffling and clearly crying.

Why is he crying?

Do I still knock? What if he's crying because he can't take my shit anymore and all of this has finally gotten to him?

I pick up the courage to finally knock after agonising about whether to disturb him or not.

"Jungkook? Please let me in"

I plead with him, feeling guilty that he's crying because of Jimin and what he just did.

He goes quiet and I hear the tap turn on and water splashing, then I hear him let out a loud sigh.

When he finally opens the door I can clearly see that he has been crying, his eyes are red and puffy, his nose red.

He looks so down and sad when he looks at me though, I frown at his defeated demeanour.

I absolutely hate seeing him cry, Jungkook has never been one to shy away from his emotions but it has always made me cry whenever I saw him crying.

Cuddling him immediately because I can't bear to see him suffering or sad, I fling my arms around him.

His arms go around me squeezing me tightly and I hear him sniffle again.

"Jungkookie please don't cry! I hate seeing you cry Kookie. Please tell me what's wrong, what's upset you?"

I ask him mumbling into his muscular torso.

"I. . I can't Princess. . . I can't tell you. I don't want to ruin our friendship, I don't want to lose you"

Jungkook sounds so broken as he replies to me, I'm worried that he has betrayed our friendship in some way and is too scared to tell me.

"Kookie, nothing would ever make me stop being your friend. You are my person, my everything and my soulmate. You have been there for me when everyone else betrayed me or hurt me. You know nearly all my secrets and I know yours! The only ones I haven't told you about were for the sake of our friendship. I know our friendship has been strained over the last three years because of Jimin, but you have always been there for me, even when you were mad at me, you still came back to comfort me"

I tell him still hugging him.

"Not ALL my secrets Princess, that's why I can't tell you and what do you mean for the sake of our friendship?"

He finally sighs squeezing me a little tighter, but sounds puzzled when he asks me.

"Oh. . Umm I'm not sure whether it's even worth me telling you now as it doesn't really matter because I can't go back in time and change anything"

I mumble into his chest feeling shy and too scared to tell him.

"Baby, just tell me. If it was so long ago then what does it matter?"

I sigh, biting my lip and wondering if I should just tell him.

"I. . . Please don't leave me if I tell you, I can't take you leaving me too Jungkook, promise me. And technically it started when I was a child but it's not long ago too as it has still not ended. It’s still relevant”

I inhale a big intake of air after he promises that he won't leave me, I finally tell him what I have hid from him for sixteen years.

"I had a huge crush on you all through my childhood and teenage years. But when I was sixteen I realised that I actually loved you after we did that dare and kissed and got off with each other when we were drunk, but you acted like you forgot. I was going to finally tell you later on when I was seventeen after agonising about it but. . . but you got a girlfriend a few days before I was going to tell you. I was going to surprise you in a cute way but it was too late, so I lied when you finally asked what my surprise was and I told you I had a boyfriend, but I didn't. I. . . I was also a virgin and hadn't ever been with anyone else or had a boyfriend when I met Jimin when I was nineteen. You were the only person I had kissed or had ever done anything sexual with. I stayed with him because I didn't want to ruin our friendship and every time you got a new girlfriend I would just forgive Jimin because it hurt me too much to be left with my thoughts of you being with another woman. I have always felt guilty about it and felt like I was ruining your real chance at love. So I just stayed with Jimin because you kept losing your chance at love because of me being a fucking screw up and I knew you couldn't possibly love someone who looked like me. All of your girlfriends were so beautiful and looked like models, I knew I stood no chance because I'm small, not pretty and dumpy. I'm not them. I also walked in on you having sex with your girlfriend a few days later when I was seventeen and cried for a whole week. I lied and said I had the flu and didn't come to school for a whole week!!"

I stop and it's totally quiet, he doesn't say anything for a few minutes and neither do I.

I'm just waiting for him to walk out on me and tell me he could never love me like that.

"Oh Princess! I'm so sorry!"

He suddenly starts crying again, but he is not just crying he's sobbing.

"I . . Th-That is all my fault!! I . . I listened to a friend who told me to get a girlfriend to try to get over liking you! I didn't like her, I just didn't want to fuck up our friendship. . and. . and he said I had to get over you. Because you clearly weren't interested like that, especially after you didn't acknowledge our drunken dare I thought you didn't remember either! OR that you wanted to forget it! When you lied and said you had a boyfriend, that you had had sex. I was so hurt and in my anger I slept with. . with that g-girl! It was dreadful and I felt awkward doing it with someone I didn't love! WHY? WHY DID YOU LIE?! WHY TORTURE YOURSELF AND STAY WITH JIMIN BECAUSE OF ME!! YOU HURT YOURSELF AND ITS ALL BECAUSE OF ME!!"

He gets louder as he starts to sound almost angry with me.

"I lied because it fucking killed me Jungkook and my friend said that I should really try to get over it and realise that you only loved me as a best friend!! I couldn't understand how we always ended up doing things when we were drunk but acted normal when we weren't! I saw you two all over each other on the bed the day before I told you and lied that I had sex, I went to your house and ran out when I caught you! You must have liked her or you wouldn't have been kissing her like that Jungkook! And you never told me you liked me either and after we kissed that time when we were thirteen too, you also acted like it was a mistake!! And what friend?"

I exclaim back as he is not going to just lay this at my front door!

"It was Hoseok! What does it matter now!"

He scoffs at me and I chuckle sarcastically now, he has to be kidding.

This has to be a cruel joke, Hoseok?

"You do know that Hoseok kept asking me out and I refused him loads of times! I even shouted at him one time that I was already in love with someone else. I got so exasperated with his persistence and even though I didn't admit it he guessed it was you and I just walked off without confirming it! He fucking did that because he was mad that I refused him so many times, I hope you know that! And you had so many girlfriends over the years and kept talking about your great sex life in front of me!! Even before I got with Jimin!! SO WHY THE FUCK WOULD I THINK OTHERWISE JUNGKOOK!!"

I yell at him, sounding exasperated, throwing my arms up.

He looks really shocked at what I just said, then his whole expression darkens and he now looks really angry.

"That piece of shit!! If I ever see him again I'm gonna punch him! After you got that boyfriend I tried to act like a normal friend because I thought you didn't like me either! And I only did that the last three years because Jimin would constantly talk about doing sexual things with you every time he spoke to Taehyung in front of me! Or when I would come over even! And I literally hate fucked those women where I was so mad all the time! I never told any of them that I loved them, I always left them when they tried to tell me to stop talking to YOU! Loads of them demanded that I choose them and I NEVER DID ALICE!! I CHOSE YOU!! I never did because. . . because I. ."

Jungkook is exclaiming really loudly at me before his defeated voice drops off getting quieter.

He sighs, running his hand over his face.

"And do you know I haven't slept with Jimin for about six months! I told him to prove he loved me. And every time he cheated again I barely went near him for ages!! So as you could imagine it was a lot of time with no sex! Because of what Jungkook?”

I’m so exasperated with this whole thing and it shows when I talk.

But when I ask him the last question I go dead still waiting for him to answer, it feels like ages before he finally does answers.

"Because. . Because I love you Alice, I have loved you since we were kids. But I was scared to lose you and I didn't think you wanted me like that. When I kissed you that day when I was thirteen I felt so happy, but I was also scared that you would think it was a mistake and stop being friends with me. I even panicked that night when you slept over, because you almost caught me having a wet dream about you and I thought you heard me! So I joked off the kiss the next day so I wouldn't get hurt or that you would think I was moaning your name because of that! Then as we got older even though our dare's were getting more sexual you always talked about crushes and wanting to get a boyfriend one day, that you would have one who would be your best friend. But I didn't think you meant me, I thought you were going to get a new best friend and forget about me! And my friendship with you was always special to me!"

He pauses his actual rant running his fingers through his hair then he carries on sighing.

"When you got with Jimin and I had to see you kiss him for the first time I was so upset I ran off and I think Jimin saw me and realised that I loved you. That's why he said all those things! He would also start grabbing you and kissing you on purpose to see my reaction, he even used to look right at me or smirk at me. I thought it was because he knew I hated him for cheating on you, but it was to flaunt it in my fucking face! Do you know how that felt, to watch him treat the woman I loved for so long like that! Did you know that I almost left here for a once of a lifetime internship about two years ago, I couldn't watch you two together anymore. But he cheated with Sharmin just before I was going to leave and you were so upset that I couldn't leave you in that state! So I bailed on them and lost the internship! But he would always goad me saying things like you had just had make up sex and was a little sore and horrible things like that! That the neighbours complained last night because of you screaming!! But now I know it was all fucking lies!"

His hands are moving everywhere as he speaks, he looks so frustrated and angry.

I'm about to reply and he starts ranting at me again, unloading everything.

"I feel like I have been fucking stuck in limbo since I was a teenager! Never being able to move on because I can't love anyone else!! It’s like we were in an emotional relationship! There is no one else I can imagine having kids with or marrying, no one else I could ever imagine living with because in my imagination and dreams it's always you!! They are just never you and they never will be you! It's why I always picked women that I wasn't really that attracted to and that looked the furthest thing from what you looked like! I didn't want to feel like I was using them as a replacement or as a substitute! Because no one could ever replace you in my mind!”

He looks really hurt and is just unloading the mother of all rants on me, the pent up energy is just spilling out of him.

“One girl finished with me because I was moaning your name in my sleep and it clearly wasn't a normal dream!! It's no wonder they were always jealous of you, I have pictures of us in my apartment everywhere. I have your clothes in my apartment, your toothbrush, your deodorant, pyjamas, your favourite food, your favourite films even!! I never called them Baby or Princess, they got no pet names! All of my phone is filled with pictures and videos of us together, my phone screen is of one of us together too! My wallpaper on my computer is even of us together!! I finished with a girl once because she threw a picture of us together as kids against a wall in a fit of jealousy and it smashed and she ruined it too! I have only had angry one night stands for eighteen months because I couldn't go through these bullshit lies about liking these women anymore! I lied about having girlfriends to you too!"

He lets out a huge huff of air where he is literally panting from spilling every last piece of frustration from the last sixteen years.

Jungkook stops his angry rant and looks down at me with a horrible hurt look in his eyes, my heart clenches at his pain because it’s my pain too.

His hand tenderly reaches for my face, placing his hand on my cheek, rubbing his thumb against it.

I tenderly place my hand over his and lean into his touch, closing my eyes.

"How dare he hurt my Alice, MY ALICE! I have wanted to beat his ass so many times over the years!! Please never go back to him! I couldn't bear it, not again. I would leave for good, because I just can't handle watching it anymore Alice, it’s been destroying me. Please give me a chance, I would never treat you like that or cheat on you. I meant every word I said Baby, I love you so much. No one will ever love you as much as I love you, I love you so much that it hurts to be apart from you. I love you so much that I stayed because you are my home and my heart, my everything and I would be hollow without you"

Jungkook tells me with tenderness in his voice.

I open my eyes to finally look up at him, he leans in to give me a firm kiss on my forehead, then each cheek, then finally he leaves a lingering chaste kiss on my lips.

When he pulls away his face is still right by mine, my eyes scan his face and he is so beautiful, his dark doe eyes look more hopeful because I didn't stop him from kissing me.

I place my hand in his hair pulling his head back to mine pressing his lips against mine and as soon as his lips part I kiss him with a fervent passion my tongue caressing his, because I'm so hungry for this kiss, I'm finally able to kiss them like I have imagined so many times over the years.

He picks me up so fast making me straddle him, his lips still furiously kissing mine as he groans into my mouth.

Jungkook walks over to the sofa sitting down with me pulling me against his body, his hand moves to my waist and the other winds its fingers into my hair keeping me against his enthusiastic mouth making me whimper into the kiss.

When we pull away he keeps his lips ghosting over mine as we pant from the lack of breath.

"I love you so fucking much Jungkook! I always have and I always will, forevermore. I have never loved anyone else but you, it’s always been you”

I pant as my hot breath falls against his lips.

"My Princess, my Baby, I love you with every single part of my soul. My Alice. My beautiful girl, my best friend, you have never been anyone else’s but mine”

He replies, squeezing me tighter.

========================================

After our big argument we decided to take it slow but we are finally together, we laugh now about how stupid we both were as teenagers.

But we have been having really long deep conversations all the time to get through the hurt we have put each other through.

We both thought it was wise to heal first and not to jump headfirst into a sexual thing yet.

I have some really happy parents right now who told us it was about time we both realised that we loved each other, that it was so obvious to everyone but us.

They are all happy that Jimin is now a thing of the past, that I finally broke it off with him.

They were terrified that I would get pregnant and have him stuck in my life for good.

It's been six weeks since I split from Jimin and he still keeps trying to call me and message me on social media.

I blocked him a few times and he keeps getting new accounts, Jungkook finally texted him and told him to back the hell off.

He wasn't happy with Jungkook and told him to mind his own business.

Every time we see him we walk off in the opposite direction before he can see us.

We have been still taking it slow and I've been back at college for two weeks now, no one has noticed that we’re a couple where we were so close before anyway.

We are liking it that way for now, so there is no pressure from anyone.

People just thought he was being extra cautious and protective with me, so they didn't say anything when he held my hand or fed me food in the cafeteria.

Well they did think that, until Jimin just tried to approach me again today in the cafeteria and Jungkook told him to get away from me.

I can see everyone already whispering and I can see his baby momma watching us with a hurt look on her face, I notice her belly looking bigger than before and her friend is definitely looking pissed.

"What fucking business is it of yours Jungkook! Let me speak to Alice and stop being the pathetic unrequited love disguised as a best friend!!"

Jimin sneers at him loudly before looking back at me, I hear an 'oh shit!' from Taehyung who knows Jungkook is probably going to punch him.

I'm about to stand up to tell him to get lost and to not speak to my boyfriend like that but Jungkook beats me to it.

"Best friend?! You are a little behind on the news Jimin. Ha ha ha!! What you say to MY GIRLFRIEND, very much affects me!"

He replies loudly standing up in his seat pushing his tray away, we hear gasps from people.

"ABOUT TIME!! IT WAS OBVIOUS!!"

Someone yells out, I dart my face to the sound source but I don't see who it is.

"YOU AND HER!! Oh you finally wormed your way in there and took advantage of my little mess! I always knew you wanted to take Alice from me. Do you think I didn't see all your love sick looks and those times you would walk off when I was kissing her! She is definitely on the rebound, how does it feel to be the rebound, poor Jungkookie! How did it feel to watch the girl you loved be kissed by me and to have to listen to her getting fucked by me!!"

He mocks him, sounding really angry and Jungkook jerks towards him where he is about to grab him but Jungkook pauses his head darting to me when I slam my drink down making a mess.

I’m just about ready to upload all of my frustration, anger and trauma on him, I’m ready.

"SHUT UP!! JUST SHUT UP JIMIN!! YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WAS THE STAND IN, THE FUCKING REPLACEMENT! WHERE I COULDN'T HAVE WHO I REALLY LOVED!! YOU COULDN'T HOLD A CANDLE TO JUNGKOOK! HE AND I HAVE BASICALLY BEEN IN AN EMOTIONAL RELATIONSHIP FOR SIXTEEN YEARS AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE!! BUT WE WERE TOO STUPID TO ADMIT WE HAVE LOVED EACH OTHER SINCE WE WERE CHILDREN!! HE WAS WHO I THOUGHT ABOUT WHEN I DREAMED, WHO I THOUGHT ABOUT WHENEVER I DID HAVE SEX WITH YOU, WHICH WAS RARELY DUE TO YOU CHEATING SO MUCH! WHO I DREAMED ABOUT MARRYING!! DON'T YOU REALISE THAT I HAVE NEVER SAID I LOVED YOU TO YOU, NOT ONCE! DID YOU NEVER NOTICE THAT I ONLY EVER REPLIED ME TOO! NOT THAT YOU HAVE EVER LOVED ME ANYWAY! BUT I ALWAYS TOLD JUNGKOOK THAT I LOVED HIM! AND EVEN IF HE DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS IN A ROMANTIC WAY, IT WAS!! HE IS A THOUSAND TIMES THE MAN YOU ARE!! HOW DOES IT FEEL TO KNOW I LOVED ANOTHER MAN THE WHOLE TIME I WAS WITH YOU!”

I’m shouting so loud that I’m surprised the college security hasn’t come yet.

I hear someone suddenly yell out.

"YES SAVAGE!! Tell him Alice! He damn well deserves it!! He is the ultimate piece of shit!!"

I look and see that it's my old friend Yoongi who grins at me, he hates Jimin and punched him really hard once.

Jungkook is smiling at me, I can tell that he is really proud of me.

"HOW MUCH OF A BASTARD ARE YOU THAT YOUR BABY MOMMA FIANCÉE IS OVER THERE, AND YOU ARE TRYING TO GET ME BACK!! WHY??? JUST SO YOU CAN TELL ME HOW FUCKING FAT I AM OR HOW I AM SOOOO DAMN LUCKY TO BE WITH YOU?? WHY?? SO YOU CAN TREAT ME LIKE SHIT AND CHEAT!! OR WAS IT JUST SO YOU COULD RUB IT IN JUNGKOOK'S FACE?! YOU KNEW HE LOVED ME AND THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY TO MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE ACTUALLY LEAVING! SO HE DIDN'T HAVE TO WATCH YOU TEARING ME DOWN AND MAKING ME LOSE WHO I WAS!! YOU MADE ME LOSE ALL OF MY FRIENDS BECAUSE OF YOUR CHEATING! SLEPT WITH MY FRIENDS!! AND STILL TRIED TO TAKE THE ONLY ONE I HAD LEFT BY TRYING TO PUSH HIM TO LEAVE TOO!!"

I shout so loud that everyone is most definitely listening.

"Tell him Baby! Unload it all!"

Jungkook grins at me.

"I WILL SAY THIS ONLY ONCE!! YOUR SEX WASN'T SHIT COMPARED TO JUNGKOOK'S AND YOU DON'T EVEN COMPARE IN SIZE! HA HA!! YOU COULDN'T EVEN GET ME OFF SO I HAD TO THINK ABOUT JUNGKOOK EVERY TIME! I WAS ONLY WITH YOU TO TRY TO FORGET ABOUT JUNGKOOK! SO FUCK OFF AND DON'T TALK TO ME AGAIN! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR BULLSHIT AND I FEEL SORRY FOR CANDICE HAVING TO PUT UP WITH YOUR TOXIC CRAP FOREVER!! I HATE YOU WITH A PASSION AND WOULDN'T CARE IF I EVER SAW YOU AGAIN! I WASTED THREE YEARS OF MY LIFE ON YOU AND I CAN NEVER GET THEM BACK! WHY WOULD I WANT TO SPEND ANOTHER THREE SECONDS MORE LISTENING TO YOUR RIDICULOUS RUBBISH! NOW LEAVE BEFORE I LET MY BOYFRIEND BEAT YOUR ASS LIKE HE HAS BEEN DYING TO DO FOR THREE YEARS!!"

I sneer at him panting from my insane rant and I move to Jungkook who looks really proud of me for standing up for myself against Jimin finally and for what I just said.

He smirks and kisses me like he misses me and I don't care, I let him.

"WOO HOO!! THAT IS THE ALICE I MISSED!"

My friend Yoongi shouts out and Namjoon hollers out too whooping, I lost both of them due to Jimin.

My old friend Denise even whistles at us because she found out exactly what Jimin was like first hand too.

Taehyung even shouts out loudly.

"ABOUT DAMN TIME JUNGKOOK! I WAS LOSING HOPE THAT ALIKOOK WAS EVER GONNA BE A REALITY!"

Jimin scoffs at us and finally marches away, my whole body goes pliant in Jungkook’s arms as I relax finally.

"I'm so fucking proud of you my Princess! My sex is much better huh, how do you know Baby? Or is that the sex you had in your dreams or imagination when you needed to get off? Hmm I like thinking that you were imagining me and I might have been imagining you at the same time"

He groans in my ear, oh he likes that I thought about him every time or had to use him to get off.

We haven't had sex yet, just a little light foreplay until we both feel ready, as we are both still healing from years of suffering and trauma we put ourselves through.

"I know. But I couldn't have him mock you Kookie! I was about to punch him and I had to give him the cold hard truth. The way he talked to you was vile, I wasn’t having it, not anymore. That was the only part I lied about though Kookie! As your dick is almost twice the size of his! THAT I didn't lie about!"

I giggle when he pecks all over my face.

"You two! Is this what I'm going to have to put up with every time I'm at Kook's now?!"

Taehyung shouts out groaning and I look to see everyone staring at our PDA, we cough and he pulls me to his lap and we sit down chuckling as we eat our dinner in peace.

Yoongi congratulates us as he walks to class with us and Namjoon said that he's proud of whoever went for it and confessed.

He was shocked when I put my hand up saying it was me, but he says he's damn proud patting my head.

Tells me that I’m glowing and look so much happier now, that he’s so happy for us.

Yoongi tells me that he is so glad that I’m finally free from that bullshit and Candice did me a favour.

Denise messaged me on Instagram telling me that she was sorry about what happened between us and that she is actually glad that I'm finally away from Jimin.

That he is one manipulative, toxic man.

That she was happy that I finally got with Jungkook after all those years of pining, she of course knew because I told her in high school.

But she said it was so obvious over the years that we still loved each other.

I feel so damn amazing, I have had friends talk to me again for the first time in a year and I just told Jimin where to go.

AND I finally told him the cold hard truth!

Truths I couldn't admit to even myself before and now I'm brave enough to scream them at Jimin in the cafeteria in front of everyone.

I've finally broken the chain of toxicity and distrust, I'm utterly free.

And when I look up at Jungkook I couldn't be happier, I'm finally where I was supposed to be all along, with my heart, my soulmate, my person, my Jungkook, my love, my everything.

=======================================

©️ Bangtans Momma.

Please do not translate, copy, steal or repost my stories as your own, or any part of my story as your own either.

Do not feed any part of my stories into any AI software either.

Sharing the link or re-blogging is perfectly fine of course.

=======================================

S͟a͟v͟a͟g̲e͟ L͟o͟v͟e͟

Pairing: Jimin X OC. Jungkook X OC

Length: 10,000+ words

Rating: 15+ (it has no sexual activity or extreme violence, but has adult themes like cheating, toxic relationship, pregnancy and swearing, some mention of sexual themes but not graphic)

TW/Content: Angsty,angsty fluff, sadness, anger, mild violence (punching), depression, low self esteem, toxic relationship, hateful words, gaslighting, emotionally abusive, jealousy, mentally abusive, arguing and shouting, OC is chubby, unrequited love (but not really), male best friend is always there, clueless best friends, cheating, pregnancy (not OC) fluffy best friend, swearing, bad body image, Angst with happy ending, feelings exposed.

Kissing and hugging, mention of sexual things but no actual sexual content.

(Maybe in a part two if I feel like it)

But Jungkook has soft dom energy in the the way he talks to her and treats her.

OC and Jimin being savage loves in their own ways.

Genre: Angst, Toxic relationship, break up, angsty with a happy ending. Best friends being clueless.

Authors note: Not proof read but checked quickly by myself, was written in a day so it just flew out of my head.

Capitals means they are shouting or screaming at each other, which meant that when she tells Jimin off she is really MAD!

Wanted to prove I could write something without the story getting sexual or yandere etc. And I would SHARE IT!

Sorry about the font, but not going over it to change it now. Had trouble with copy and paste, but I like it this way!

========================================

F͟l͟a͟s͟h͟b͟a͟c͟k͟

"𝑰'𝒎 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒔𝒍𝒆𝒆𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒅...."

𝑨 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒚 𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒅𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒊𝒔 𝒄𝒖𝒓𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒍𝒚 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔, 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒂𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆.

"𝑪𝑨𝑵𝑫𝑰𝑪𝑬!!! 𝑾𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲!!!"

𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏 𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒌𝒔 𝒖𝒑 𝒕𝒐 𝒖𝒔 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒔𝒐𝒍𝒖𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒚 𝒇𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒎𝒆.

"𝑺𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒉𝒆𝒓, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒏'𝒕!"

𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒆𝒙𝒂𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅.

𝑰'𝒎 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒄𝒌 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒎𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒃𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆.

"𝑯𝒐𝒘 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒅𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆 𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏? 𝑯𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒏'𝒕 𝒊 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒆𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒂𝒍𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒚?! 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒚𝒆𝒕 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒕 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅'𝒕 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏! 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒎𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓'𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆!!"

𝑰 𝒚𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒌𝒆, 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝑰 𝒂𝒎 𝒅𝒐𝒏𝒆.

𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒇𝒂𝒓𝒄𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒏𝒐𝒘, 𝒊'𝒗𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒆𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉.

"𝑩𝒖𝒕 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆! 𝑰𝒕'𝒔 𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝑰 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆, 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆. 𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒂 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒅! 𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒔! 𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒃𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒕!!“

𝑯𝒆 𝒆𝒙𝒄𝒍𝒂𝒊𝒎𝒔 𝒑𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒍𝒆𝒈𝒈𝒚 𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒅𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒘𝒉𝒐 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒅 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒚 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒆 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒔𝒂𝒊𝒅.

"𝑬𝑿𝑪𝑼𝑺𝑬 𝑴𝑬! 𝑰𝑻 𝑾𝑨𝑺 𝑵𝑶𝑻 𝑨 𝑶𝑵𝑬 𝑵𝑰𝑮𝑯𝑻 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑱𝑰𝑴𝑰𝑵!! 𝑶𝑹 𝑳𝑰𝑬𝑺!"

𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒔 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒚 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒃𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒆.

"𝑺𝒉𝒖𝒕 𝒖𝒑 𝑪𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒆!"

𝑯𝒆 𝒈𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒔 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒉 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒓𝒚.

"𝑰 𝑾𝑰𝑳𝑳 𝑵𝑶𝑻 𝑺𝑯𝑼𝑻 𝑼𝑷!! 𝑺𝑯𝑬 𝑫𝑬𝑺𝑬𝑹𝑽𝑬𝑺 𝑻𝑶 𝑲𝑵𝑶𝑾!!"

𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒆𝒙𝒄𝒍𝒂𝒊𝒎𝒔 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒅𝒍𝒚.

𝑷𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒂𝒕𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒇𝒊𝒍𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒚 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒖𝒎𝒂 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏....𝑮𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕!!

"𝑰 𝑺𝑨𝑰𝑫 𝑺𝑯𝑼𝑻 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲 𝑼𝑷!!"

𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏 𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎𝒔 𝒊𝒏 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒕 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒎𝒆 𝒇𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒉 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒅 𝒊𝒕 𝒊𝒔, 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒈𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒚.

𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏'𝒕 𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒗𝒆 𝒉𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒑𝒉𝒚𝒔𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒉𝒆𝒓, 𝒂𝒔 𝒉𝒆'𝒔 𝒂 𝒑𝒊𝒆𝒄𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒕 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒉𝒆’𝒔 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒑𝒉𝒚𝒔𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒃𝒖𝒔𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆!

"𝑯𝑶𝑾 𝑫𝑨𝑹𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑮𝑬𝑻 𝑰𝑵 𝑴𝒀 𝑭𝑨𝑪𝑬!!"

𝑪𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝒑𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒑𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒓𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎.

"𝑫𝒐 𝑵𝑶𝑻 𝒕𝒐𝒖𝒄𝒉 𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏! 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒑𝒊𝒆𝒄𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒕!!"

𝑯𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒉𝒂𝒊𝒓 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒔 𝒑𝒖𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌.

"𝑰'𝒎 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝑨𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒆, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑪𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒏𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒕𝒔 𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏'𝒔 𝒃𝒂𝒃𝒚. 𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒆𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒌𝒔 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒏𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒌𝒆𝒆𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒃𝒚. 𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒓𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒕𝒐 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒄𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒏 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒘𝒐 𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒘. 𝑯𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒊𝒏𝒗𝒐𝒍𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒘𝒐 𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒌𝒔 𝒂𝒈𝒐. 𝑯𝒆 𝒌𝒆𝒑𝒕 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒔𝒉 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖, 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒐𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒆𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒘. 𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒅𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒏'𝒕"

𝑯𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒔 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒔𝒆𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒌𝒆 𝒎𝒆.

"𝑭𝑶𝑹 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲𝑺 𝑺𝑨𝑲𝑬 𝑴𝑨𝑵𝑫𝒀!!! 𝑰 𝑺𝑨𝑰𝑫 𝑰 𝑾𝑶𝑼𝑳𝑫 𝑻𝑬𝑳𝑳 𝑯𝑬𝑹!!"

𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒔 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅, 𝒔𝒐 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒆.

𝑴𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒌𝒔, 𝒊'𝒎 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝑰 𝒂𝒎 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒂𝒑𝒔𝒆, 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒊'𝒎 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒂 𝒑𝒂𝒏𝒊𝒄 𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒂𝒄𝒌.

𝑰𝒕'𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒂𝒅𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒑𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒖𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒔𝒆𝒆 𝑻𝒂𝒆𝒉𝒚𝒖𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒎𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒉 𝒈𝒂𝒑𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒏.

𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒈𝒐𝒆𝒔 𝒒𝒖𝒊𝒆𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰𝒕'𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒑𝒔, 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒓𝒖𝒏 𝒂𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒊'𝒎 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒄𝒌 𝒊𝒏 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒆.

𝑾𝒉𝒚 𝒅𝒐 𝑰 𝒑𝒖𝒕 𝒖𝒑 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏?

𝑪𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒐𝒏 𝑨𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒆, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒑𝒖𝒕 𝒖𝒑 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔, 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒅𝒆𝒍𝒖𝒅𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍!

"𝑺𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒆?"

𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏 𝒔𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒒𝒖𝒊𝒆𝒕𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒊𝒎.

"𝑰𝒕'𝒔 𝒐𝒌𝒂𝒚, 𝒘𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝑰 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖, 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝑺𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒏𝒐 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏, 𝑰 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒆𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒈𝒐 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏 𝒑𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒏 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒖𝒑 𝒂𝒏𝒚𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒓 𝒈𝒐 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒄𝒍𝒖𝒃𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒆. 𝑩𝒖𝒕 𝒊 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒚𝒆𝒅 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒊 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖. 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒅𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒓, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒏'𝒕 𝒔𝒍𝒆𝒆𝒑 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍 𝒂𝒏𝒅.."

𝑯𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒓𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒓𝒚 𝒈𝒂𝒔𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒃𝒂𝒃𝒚 𝒎𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒂 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒂𝒄𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒂𝒖𝒍𝒕 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏.

𝑰 𝒐𝒇𝒇𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒔𝒏𝒂𝒑!

"𝑫𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕! 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑱𝑰𝑴𝑰𝑵! 𝑰 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑯𝑨𝑻𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼!! 𝑮𝑬𝑻 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑯𝑬𝑳𝑳 𝑨𝑾𝑨𝒀 𝑭𝑹𝑶𝑴 𝑴𝑬!! 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑫𝑰𝑫 𝑻𝑯𝑰𝑺 𝑻𝑶 𝑴𝑬!! 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑻𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑻𝑬𝑫 𝑴𝑬 𝑳𝑰𝑲𝑬 𝑺𝑯𝑰𝑻 𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑴𝑨𝑫𝑬 𝑴𝑬 𝑭𝑬𝑬𝑳 𝑳𝑰𝑲𝑬 𝑺𝑯𝑰𝑻! 𝑰 𝑾𝑨𝑺 𝑵𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑹 𝑳𝑰𝑲𝑬 𝑻𝑯𝑰𝑺 𝑩𝑬𝑭𝑶𝑹𝑬 𝑰 𝑴𝑬𝑻 𝒀𝑶𝑼!!“

𝑰 𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒉𝒆 𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒔 𝒎𝒆, 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒃𝒚 𝒎𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒂 𝑪𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒆.

𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝑰 𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒖𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒔𝒏𝒂𝒑 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒄𝒓𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒓 𝒓𝒖𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒇𝒇 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅.

"𝑮𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒍𝒖𝒄𝒌! 𝑰'𝒎 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒈𝒐𝒕 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒏𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒃𝒚 𝒉𝒊𝒎. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒈𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒊𝒕, 𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒏 𝒎𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒆 𝒚𝒆𝒂𝒓'𝒔! 𝑺𝒍𝒆𝒑𝒕 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒚 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒂 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒏𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅, 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒕𝒄𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒔. 𝑻𝒉𝒐𝒔𝒆 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒘𝒐 𝒐𝒇 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒚 𝒘𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒏, 𝒂𝒍𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒏𝒂𝒏𝒕, 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝑺𝑻𝑫'𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒔𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒅. 𝑯𝒆 𝒈𝒂𝒔𝒍𝒊𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒂𝒅𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒅𝒆𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅, 𝒂𝒏𝒙𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒚𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇! 𝑩𝒆𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒆! 𝑩𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒐𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒂 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒂 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒓!"

𝑰 𝒔𝒄𝒐𝒇𝒇 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒊 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒂𝒕 𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏, 𝑰 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒛𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰'𝒎 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒖𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒚 𝒅𝒐𝒏𝒆.

"𝑮𝑶𝑶𝑫𝑩𝒀𝑬 𝑱𝑰𝑴𝑰𝑵! 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑵𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑹 𝑺𝑯𝑶𝑾 𝒀𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑭𝑨𝑪𝑬 𝑨𝑹𝑶𝑼𝑵𝑫 𝑴𝑬 𝑨𝑮𝑨𝑰𝑵! 𝑰'𝑴 𝑨𝑩𝑺𝑶𝑳𝑼𝑻𝑬𝑳𝒀 𝑫𝑶𝑵𝑬!!"

𝑰 𝒔𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎, 𝑰'𝒎 𝒂𝒃𝒔𝒐𝒍𝒖𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒚 𝒓𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒈.

"𝒀𝑬𝑨𝑯 𝑮𝑶 𝑭𝑰𝑵𝑫 𝑱𝑼𝑵𝑮𝑲𝑶𝑶𝑲 𝑳𝑰𝑲𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑨𝑳𝑾𝑨𝒀𝑺 𝑫𝑶! 𝑰'𝑴 𝑺𝑼𝑹𝑬 𝑯𝑬 𝑾𝑰𝑳𝑳 𝑴𝑨𝑲𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑭𝑬𝑬𝑳 𝑩𝑬𝑻𝑻𝑬𝑹!! 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑯𝑨𝑽𝑬 𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑩𝑨𝑩𝑳𝒀 𝑩𝑬𝑬𝑵 𝑺𝑳𝑬𝑬𝑷𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑾𝑰𝑻𝑯 𝑯𝑰𝑴 𝑨𝑵𝒀𝑾𝑨𝒀, 𝑰 𝑪𝑨𝑵 𝑻𝑬𝑳𝑳 𝑯𝑬 𝑾𝑨𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑫 𝑻𝑶 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑾𝑯𝑶𝑳𝑬 𝑻𝑰𝑴𝑬!! 𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑫𝑬𝑭𝑰𝑵𝑰𝑻𝑬𝑳𝒀 𝑾𝑨𝑺𝑵'𝑻 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑴𝑬 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑳𝑨𝑺𝑻 𝑺𝑰𝑿 𝑴𝑶𝑵𝑻𝑯𝑺!!"

𝑯𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒔 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒂𝒕 𝒎𝒆.

"𝑫𝑶𝑵'𝑻 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑹 𝑻𝑨𝑳𝑲 𝑨𝑩𝑶𝑼𝑻 𝑱𝑼𝑵𝑮𝑲𝑶𝑶𝑲 𝑳𝑰𝑲𝑬 𝑻𝑯𝑨𝑻!!! 𝑴𝑨𝒀𝑩𝑬 𝑰 𝑺𝑯𝑶𝑼𝑳𝑫 𝑯𝑨𝑽𝑬 𝑮𝑶𝑻𝑻𝑬𝑵 𝑾𝑰𝑻𝑯 𝑯𝑰𝑴 𝑩𝑬𝑭𝑶𝑹𝑬 𝑰 𝑴𝑬𝑻 𝒀𝑶𝑼, 𝑺𝑶 𝑰 𝑾𝑶𝑼𝑳𝑫 𝑯𝑨𝑽𝑬 𝑵𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑹 𝑮𝑶𝑻 𝑾𝑰𝑻𝑯 𝒀𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑨𝑺𝑺! 𝑨𝑺 𝑯𝑬'𝑺 𝑾𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑨 𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑳 𝑴𝑨𝑵 𝑨𝑪𝑻'𝑺 𝑳𝑰𝑲𝑬! 𝑵𝑶𝑻 𝑳𝑰𝑲𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑺𝑬𝑹𝑰𝑨𝑳 𝑪𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑵𝑮, 𝑬𝑴𝑶𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑨𝑳𝑳𝒀 𝑨𝑩𝑼𝑺𝑰𝑽𝑬, 𝑮𝑨𝑺𝑳𝑰𝑮𝑯𝑻𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑨𝑺𝑺!! 𝑰 𝑯𝑨𝑽𝑬 𝑵𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑹 𝑪𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑻𝑬𝑫 𝑶𝑵 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑵 𝑻𝑯𝑶𝑼𝑮𝑯 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑫𝑬𝑺𝑬𝑹𝑽𝑬𝑫 𝑰𝑻!! 𝑺𝑶 𝑲𝑬𝑬𝑷 𝑴𝒀 𝑩𝑬𝑺𝑻 𝑭𝑹𝑰𝑬𝑵𝑫𝑺 𝑵𝑨𝑴𝑬 𝑶𝑼𝑻 𝑶𝑭 𝒀𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑺𝑻𝑫 𝑹𝑰𝑫𝑫𝑬𝑵 𝑴𝑶𝑼𝑻𝑯!! 𝑮𝑶𝑶𝑫𝑩𝒀𝑬 𝑨𝑺𝑺𝑯𝑶𝑳𝑬!“

𝑰 𝒚𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒊𝒏 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒑𝒖𝒔𝒉 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒇𝒇, 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒌 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝑱𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒌𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕!

𝑰 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝑻𝒂𝒆𝒉𝒚𝒖𝒏𝒈 𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒂 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍 𝒑𝒊𝒆𝒄𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒔 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒌 𝒐𝒇𝒇, 𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒔 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒕𝒐 𝒇𝒖𝒄𝒌 𝒐𝒇𝒇.

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝑪𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒆'𝒔 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎, 𝑰 𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒍𝒂𝒑𝒔 𝒉𝒊𝒎.

𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒌𝒆𝒆𝒑𝒔 𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒅 𝒉𝒊𝒈𝒉, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑰 𝒅𝒐, 𝑰'𝒎 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒆!

𝑰'𝒎 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐𝒐 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒂𝒔 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒌 𝒐𝒇𝒇, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏 𝒊𝒔𝒏’𝒕 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎.

𝑵𝒐𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒚𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆!

========================================

All I can do is sob and I can't think of anything else, I can't sleep, I haven't showered or bathed in four days and I haven't thought of eating either, I tried to but it tastes like cardboard.

I feel like I just got out of a fever dream, one of my own stupid making.

I bet I look dreadful, I know my eyes are swollen and bloodshot and my face is definitely all puffy and red, I know I’m looking awful.

My hair is probably looking like a literal bird's nest right now and my eyes will also be looking black too from zero sleep.

I bet I look like the crypt keeper right now, but a fat one!

I muted my phone calls at first, then I turned it off where there were annoying notification sounds were coming from all my social media too.

Some randoms I didn't even know had been messaging me, I know they are just trying to get the dirt on the absolute shit show that is my life right now.

I know they all filmed what has to be the most humiliating moment of my life, I hope my brother doesn't see it but I bet Jungkook heard about it from Taehyung who was there too.

So that means Jin probably does know.

I don’t want any lectures or pity parties.

I cringe knowing that everyone is gonna say I told you so, but really they all don't know the truth of why I stayed with him.

Someone was banging on my door for half an hour yesterday but I didn't answer it, just in case it was Jimin.

As I didn't want to see him or listen to his gaslighting ass.

He tried knocking on the door and calling all day Sunday after his baby momma and her friend had told me what he had done.

This is the thing he couldn't ever fix, not this time. . . It's permanent.

And my toxic nightmare is finally over. . . It’s finally done.

Why does he always do this to me?

He always cheats on me and then comes back telling me that he was wasted, drunk or the woman came onto him.

Then he manipulates me, lies, gas lights me and then cries if I don't listen to his apologies.

He knows how much it messes with my head, with my body image, especially when the women are tall, model looking and slim.

I'm short and also chubby, I wear glasses and wear cute and comfortable clothes, not short tight dresses.

Someone is currently banging on my door again and I just pull the quilt over my head trying to hide from the whole world.

I can hear someone shouting but I just put my hands over my ears and hum childishly under the blankets wanting the shouting and banging to stop.

When the banging stops I sigh, why don't they get that I don't want anyone's pity or fake sad faces, I don't want anyone asking me bullshit questions under the guise of being nice just so they can get the tea about my trauma.

And I definitely don't want to see Jimin.

I don't want to talk about how my heart has been ripped from my chest and stomped on, and not just by Jimin.

Or how there is no coming back from this, no lie or manipulation can make this go away, it's the permanent kind of mistake that I don't want to live with or have to deal with, not anymore.

I can't keep my mind occupied from what really torments me, I usually distract my mind with the drama Jimin brings me but not anymore, but this is too much.

Jimin made his bed and he can damn well lay in it, we are done and I'm finally grieving the utter disappointment, disaster and despair my relationship with him has been.

This whole relationship has damaged my soul and will leave a permanent mark.

Toxic wasn't a strong enough word to describe what our relationship was.

When I jumped into this relationship it was to forget someone else, but it never worked.

I’d never have to be there waiting for him to come home from the club anymore, or knowing I’m sleeping alone yet again.

Calling him only to get voicemail again or texting and seeing that he’s left me on read for the thousandth time.

Having people DM me to tell me that they are sleeping with Jimin or that they have just seen Jimin cheating with someone.

Or the multiple women’s scents lingering on his clothes, the occasional makeup smears on his shirt.

The marks he insists are scratches or pinch marks from working out.

My heart is no longer in my chest and I feel hollow and empty, but I also feel a strange calm, a feeling of relief that I can finally break free from this toxic and painful farce of a relationship.

It's cathartic and it feels like I have broken free from him mentally, emotionally and physically.

I'm grieving the painful loss but I'm scared of being alone after all my friends left or betrayed me because of him and of course some left because of me staying with him after his cheating.

It's been three years of me eating away my sorrows, crying into my best friend's arms, getting medication to deal with my depression and anxiety because of the pain and suffering.

Three years of my body looking worse and me not caring about my appearance anymore, because that's how I feel inside. . . Worthless and hollow.

Like I would never deserve or get the man I really wanted, he’s proven time and time again that he only wants to be my best friend.

When I think about it I don't ever remember a time when Jimin wasn't hurting me or making me feel like a piece of garbage.

Our honeymoon period was about six months and then it went to shit, then I found out he had cheated.

My friends all warned me away from him when I was in my first year of college and I should have listened, I was stupid and thought I could see the best in people.

One by one my friends had arguments with me about him, lost interest because of my depression and me not going out much anymore, or they slept with Jimin too.

The only ones I still see are my brother Seokjin and my best friend Jungkook, even though they don't see me as much due to them having arguments with Jimin about how he treats me.

Taehyung is sometimes still around due to Jungkook and Jin though.

But I don't see Yoongi or Namjoon anymore because they detest Jimin.

I have lost count of the amount of times Jin had Jimin by his shirt threatening to punch his lights out.

Jungkook punched him once for sleeping with my other best friend Sharmin, they were doing it behind my back for six months.

This was at the beginning of the second year of our relationship.

My other childhood friend Denise slept with him on a drunken night out too, it was the night that I went to my auntie's wedding with Jin and Jungkook.

Jimin didn't want to come to the wedding with me because my family really hates him and he refused to be judged by them.

I wasn't aware that they all knew he was a cheater because Jin had told them.

That incident with Denise was the first time I was aware of him cheating on me, others already knew he was a cheater and they all tried to shield me from it.

They tried to force Jimin to break up with me but he never did, he would just goad them and tell them to fuck off.

It’s why Yoongi had punched him, he was vile about it and had got up in Yoongi’s face too.

The others knew because they had caught Jimin in the act multiple times, they had all threatened him, had him by the throat and had even punched him.

A mutual friend called Taehyung took a picture of them kissing in the club that night and had sent it to Jungkook’s phone, who totally gave it away by the look on his face and I found out because I grabbed his phone feeling worried for him.

It was then that he told me everything and explained how it wasn't the first time, I also found out that day that Jimin was cheating on me the whole time.

He promised to change and I believed him like a stupid idiot, I clung to a useless pipe dream.

Should've known better.

Jungkook has been my best friend since we were six and we have both grown up together, we went through our teens learning and making mistakes.

We had shared our first kiss when we were 13, a peck and it was a dare at a sleepover and Jungkook was a little awkward for a few weeks after but we got over it.

Both of us started having a rebellious stage when we were both sixteen.

We were bunking off school and daring each other to do things, getting drunk and smoking weed.

We once went skinny dipping because of a dare and another time I had to flash him, we had our first French kiss together at 16 too and we made out grinding on each other when we were wasted too, but Jungkook obviously didn't remember it because he got a girlfriend two weeks later.

We are the kind of friends who are comfortable cuddling and sharing a bed, telling each other our secrets and dreams.

I had a huge crush on him all through my childhood and teen years, by the time I was sixteen I knew that I was totally in love with him.

I lamented the whole thing and tortured myself about telling him, I was worried that I would love him.

I was finally going to tell him on my seventeenth birthday after my other friend Denise told me to go for it, but a few days before I was going to surprise him he got a girlfriend and my heart literally broke into pieces.

I stayed his friend and had to watch him be with another girl, so I had to learn to separate my crush from my friendship.

The only boyfriend I have ever had was Jimin.

I told Jungkook I had a boyfriend when he asked me what the surprise was but I didn't have one.

I lied when he got his first girlfriend and wasn't spending as much time with me, by the time he finished with the girl I just said I split up with the fake boyfriend.

I also lied and told him I had sex with that boyfriend before I met Jimin, I didn't though.

He was disappointed at me for staying with Jimin and our relationship suffered a lot because he would get angry at me every time I forgave Jimin.

Jungkook would argue with me, with hurt feelings he would stay away for a few days then come back, knowing how hurt I would be to lose him too.

========================================

I panic when I hear the keys unlock my front door, wondering who the hell would have the spare keys.

Who would be able to get them from my mother?

I hope it's not Seokjin as he will kill Jimin this time and I don't want him to get arrested due to me.

I grip on to my quilt when I hear the footsteps approaching, I don't want anyone to see me like this.

"Princess?"

I breath hitches immediately and I hear him sigh, he tries to pull the quilt from me.

"Baby, come on it's okay, let me see you"

I pull the quilt from my head and my lip quivers when he looks down to me with sad eyes.

"Oh my Princess, come here"

He pulls me into his arms and I straddle him crying my heart out, he smooths my back softly rocking me.

"It's okay Baby, it's gonna be okay. I'm here now and I'm gonna take care of my Princess"

Jungkook has come like he usually does. Why does he always come to save me, comfort me and look after me?

I don't deserve his kindness and love.

He's had to put up with this kind of shit for the three years of me being with Jimin and he still hasn't left this friendship.

"I heard from Taehyung that you had a huge argument in college with Jimin, he only picked up some details, I'm so sorry Baby. You don't deserve this kind of pain, my Princess. I tried calling you and texting and you didn't answer, I got really worried when you didn't answer the door to me Baby. I had to go get the keys from momma when you didn't answer the phone or the door"

He caresses my hair as he carries on gently rocking me, he's always called my Mother momma too.

"He. . . He. . . J-Jungkook. . He. . I. ."

That's it I start sobbing again.

"It's okay Baby, you don't have to talk about it yet, don't upset yourself"

He coos at me kissing the top of my head.

"Don't cry Princess, it hurts my heart, please don't cry"

He sounds forlorn when he talks to me, it’s like he is in pain too.

My cries eventually turn into shudders and I calm down.

I must have fallen asleep in his arms because when I open my eyes again it's dark outside.

He must be stiff from holding me in the same position for so long.

"Are you awake?"

I hear him whisper and I nod into his chest.

"Shall we get you something to eat, and don't say no because I know you haven't ate anything in days, I know you by now"

He quietly says into my hair.

"Not hungry"

I mumble into his chest and he tuts at me.

"Baby, you have to eat! Now I'm gonna help sort you out and we are gonna have something to eat okay!"

Jungkook scolds me and I sigh and slowly start to nod because I know he won't take no for an answer.

"Let's run you a bath first and then get you into some comfy pyjamas, then I'm ordering us some takeaway, okay Princess"

I just mumble okay into his chest.

Jungkook places me on the sofa and goes off to run me a bath, I hear the water running and him moving about.

But being left to my own thoughts gets me crying again, by the time he comes back I'm in a state again.

"Oh my Baby! Come here!"

He says sadly pulling me into his arms picking me up, I cling to him like a koala and just sob.

I think I'm crying for many reasons, the reason I got into the relationship in the first place, the constant cheating, the outcome of said cheating, finally being done with the relationship.

How unloved, drained and damaged he has left me feeling and me feeling like I'm actually going to be free from it, it's finally over.

It's like I feel utter relief, but I'm numb because I carried on with this shit show for only one reason and now I have to live with my thoughts again, my pain.

"Come on my Princess, I'm going to help you alright. Is that okay? I won't look at you, but you need to wash and get into some clean clothes. Is that okay?"

I don't reply at first and just panic in his arms, he can't see me with no clothes on, he will be disgusted and think I look horrible.

He only saw me in underwear a few years back, once when I flashed him as a teen and once naked in the shower by mistake when I was about nineteen, I've put on weight since then.

"Princess?? Answer me! Words. . . Is that okay?"

Jungkook has a stern voice when he asks me and I just nod in his chest.

"Words Baby"

"Hmm okay, y-yes"

I mutter quietly.

"Okay let's go to the bathroom"

He softly replies, pecking my hair.

Jungkook puts me down and I just stare at the ground feeling flustered and embarrassed.

"Arms up Baby, good girl"

I slowly put them up and he slowly pulled my hoodie off.

Then he reaches for my t-shirt and I start to panic because I have no bra on and he is going to see my chubby belly too

Grabbing on to the bottom of my t-shirt to stop him he tuts at me.

"Princess! Are you gonna do it yourself? What's wrong?"

I shake my head and tears start to drop from my eyes.

"Y-You can't see me, I'm gross! J-Jimin said he only cheated because I've turned into a fat pig and I look disgusting! I d-don't want you to be d-disgusted by me or my fat!”

He now looks really angry with me and he cusses loudly.

"He fucking said what?! How dare he talk about my Princess like that! I'm gonna punch his lights out when I see him next!!"

Jungkook looks furious and I start worrying that he is going to get in trouble and I'm not worth getting arrested for.

"NO!! JUNGKOOK! You can't get arrested because of me! I'm not worth it!"

I panic and he just sighs at me.

"You ARE worth it! To ME you are worth it! You are my beautiful best friend and I would go to jail. . . for you"

He tells me with no hesitation in his voice.

"Now stop being stupid, I could NEVER be disgusted by you! Come on, I won't look! Let's get you in the tub before it gets cold"

Jungkook adds pulling my top off looking me in my eyes, my arm goes to my belly immediately but he doesn’t say anything.

He just kneels down and tugs at my leggings looking to the side, then he gingerly takes my socks off.

Only my panties are left so he quickly yanks those down and stands up only looking me in the eyes.

"Come on Baby, get in the tub"

I quickly get in and pull my knees up to my chest, he gives me a small smile and nods to himself in reassurance, picking up my dirty clothes to put them in the washing basket.

"The sponge and body wash is there. I will help you do your hair first okay. Then you can wash yourself, alright Princess"

He quietly says pulling the shower attachment to rinse my hair, I sigh as he runs his fingers through my long tresses.

Stopping he puts shampoo on and massages it in making me hum and put my head back.

"Does that feel relaxing Baby?"

He gives me a little chuckle as I nod.

After finishing my hair he tells me to wash my body and he's going to go order some food.

I nod and gingerly pick up the sponge washing myself all over, after I'm finished he knocks back on the door and asks if I'm ready to get out.

I reply that I am and he walks in holding up a towel and wrapping me up in it.

Then he picks me up and walks me into my room.

He proceeds to dry my hair first and then tells me to dry my body, he goes off when the door buzzer sounds off.

I get myself dried and look at the loungewear set he has set down on the bed for me.

I grab the top first and quickly put it on, then I quickly pull on the bottoms.

Jungkook walks in just as I finish and gives me a small smile.

"Let's put your hair in a plait or something first. The food is here Baby, so let's hurry up and go eat"

I nod and he comes over to comb through my knotty hair, then he does it in a side plait.

Afterwards we sit down to eat, well Jungkook eats and then forces me to eat by feeding me himself when he sees that I just push my food around on my plate.

When he is satisfied that I have eaten enough he cleans the dishes and we snuggle up in my room to watch one of my comfort films.

We watch spirited away, he knows it won't trigger me or remind me of Jimin because he never watched anime with me, he hated it and called it childish.

As I cuddle up to Jungkook I wonder how I can be so lucky to have such a great best friend.

He has always been there for me, he has never left me even after the arguments we have had about Jimin.

Jungkook even put up with Jimin's horrible attitude every time he came to mine, with the constant sarcastic comments and the loud scoffing every time Jungkook talked to me.

He ignored it all just to make me happy.

He came on my birthday to see me, on Christmas days too and never forgot any important events, not like Jimin did.

Jungkook has even put me above the few girlfriends he has had and finished with them when they got jealous of our relationship, one demanded for him to stop seeing me and he refused and finished with her the next day.

He refused to go to any dances with girls that asked in high school too because he would always go with me.

They didn't like him calling me Princess at all or hugging me goodbye or pecking my head, or when he would hold my hand.

Or when he would drop a date to run to me because of Jimin cheating again, when he would tell them he couldn't spend Sundays with them because it was our day together.

I sometimes feel really bad anxiety and guilt about what he has given up due to me, am I stopping him from being happy, from finding love?

I actually told him this once, to stop finishing with his girlfriends because of me and he said if they didn't like his Princess then they aren't the one for him, that they have to be able to deal with the fact that his best friend is a woman.

All of his relationships were short and he told me he never loved them, that it was easy to choose me over them.

But I still feel riddled with an uncomfortable guilt about ruining his relationships and interfering with his dates too.

I feel like I'm subconsciously trying to keep him to myself or that I'm messing with his relationships on purpose because of my own problems and feelings.

That I was toxic because I stayed with Jimin not only because I was trying to forget Jungkook but because he would come comfort me and spoil me for weeks after Jimin had cheated.

========================================

Jungkook has stayed with me all week, he even called the college for me and got me my notes from any classes I needed.

He has been a godsend and an Angel like he always is.

He even spoke to Seokjin and my mother when they came round and I didn't want to talk to anyone yet.

I felt embarrassed because they were all right about Jimin and I had stubbornly ignored all the talks and advice.

Jungkook knew that there was a few videos going around and told me people were actually on my side, but I didn't want to relive it.

Apparently no one at college was saying bad things about me, he told me that they are mad at Jimin for how he treated me AND Candice.

I told him that I still needed a little time and that I wasn't ready to go back and hear the gossip yet.

Jimin tried knocking on the door twice over the last week and Jungkook said I didn't want to see him anymore.

When I finally texted him to come get his things he must have thought he could get in and gaslight me again, but he was definitely not happy when Jungkook was the one that came to the door with a box of his belongings.

He just got into a fight with Jungkook at my front door now too, his attitude stinks.

It happened right after he handed Jimin's things to him in a box because I definitely didn't want to.

Jimin clearly wasn't happy that Jungkook was still with me and had just answered the door in just a pair of sweats and socks with no top on.

Jungkook punched him hard giving him a black eye after he started goading him saying that he must have finally hit it and saw how good my fat ass bounces when you hit it from the back.

That I was really good at sucking dick and that maybe he can finally feel what it's like for me to deep throat him, he was vile with his words.

After that he said that he was glad that Jungkook could finally get with me after pining after me for so long and how horrible it must have been for Jungkook having to listen to him fuck me raw all those times he slept over.

Then I gasped when he said that he made sure that I used to scream extra loud the nights Jungkook stayed over, just to give him something to wank off to, where he felt sorry for him.

That he stayed with me just to piss Jungkook off and how he always used to laugh with his friends when he used to see how sad and love sick he was over me, Jungkook totally lost it punching him again making his nose bleed.

He was absolutely fuming when he slammed the door in his face, it made a picture fall on the floor and I could see how furious he was as he paced around the room.

I just walked over and cuddled him, it stopped his pacing, luckily it calmed him down enough to not go beat Jimin's ass, because he looked ready to go back to the front door and kill him.

When I asked him if he was okay he just kissed me on the head and then nodded silently, then quietly saying he just needed a few minutes alone, then he walked off to the bathroom slamming the door hard.

I sat there feeling really uncomfortable because of what Jimin had just said to Jungkook, surely Jungkook doesn't feel that way about me, he would have told me. . . Wouldn't he?

He always told me everything, we never kept secrets from each other.

Why was Jimin saying those things?

I knew Jimin was jealous of Jungkook and that's all it sounded like up until the fight I last had with him and he had mentioned Jungkook in jealousy.

But what Jimin just said to him was too much, what does he know that I don't?

What did Jimin see that I didn't?

I know that I have always loved Jungkook but he never felt that way about me, did he?

When Jungkook doesn't come out of the bathroom I quietly walk over to the door on top toes, I’m about to knock but I pause when I hear him sniffling and clearly crying.

Why is he crying?

Do I still knock? What if he's crying because he can't take my shit anymore and all of this has finally gotten to him?

I pick up the courage to finally knock after agonising about whether to disturb him or not.

"Jungkook? Please let me in"

I plead with him, feeling guilty that he's crying because of Jimin and what he just did.

He goes quiet and I hear the tap turn on and water splashing, then I hear him let out a loud sigh.

When he finally opens the door I can clearly see that he has been crying, his eyes are red and puffy, his nose red.

He looks so down and sad when he looks at me though, I frown at his defeated demeanour.

I absolutely hate seeing him cry, Jungkook has never been one to shy away from his emotions but it has always made me cry whenever I saw him crying.

Cuddling him immediately because I can't bear to see him suffering or sad, I fling my arms around him.

His arms go around me squeezing me tightly and I hear him sniffle again.

"Jungkookie please don't cry! I hate seeing you cry Kookie. Please tell me what's wrong, what's upset you?"

I ask him mumbling into his muscular torso.

"I. . I can't Princess. . . I can't tell you. I don't want to ruin our friendship, I don't want to lose you"

Jungkook sounds so broken as he replies to me, I'm worried that he has betrayed our friendship in some way and is too scared to tell me.

"Kookie, nothing would ever make me stop being your friend. You are my person, my everything and my soulmate. You have been there for me when everyone else betrayed me or hurt me. You know nearly all my secrets and I know yours! The only ones I haven't told you about were for the sake of our friendship. I know our friendship has been strained over the last three years because of Jimin, but you have always been there for me, even when you were mad at me, you still came back to comfort me"

I tell him still hugging him.

"Not ALL my secrets Princess, that's why I can't tell you and what do you mean for the sake of our friendship?"

He finally sighs squeezing me a little tighter, but sounds puzzled when he asks me.

"Oh. . Umm I'm not sure whether it's even worth me telling you now as it doesn't really matter because I can't go back in time and change anything"

I mumble into his chest feeling shy and too scared to tell him.

"Baby, just tell me. If it was so long ago then what does it matter?"

I sigh, biting my lip and wondering if I should just tell him.

"I. . . Please don't leave me if I tell you, I can't take you leaving me too Jungkook, promise me. And technically it started when I was a child but it's not long ago too as it has still not ended. It’s still relevant”

I inhale a big intake of air after he promises that he won't leave me, I finally tell him what I have hid from him for sixteen years.

"I had a huge crush on you all through my childhood and teenage years. But when I was sixteen I realised that I actually loved you after we did that dare and kissed and got off with each other when we were drunk, but you acted like you forgot. I was going to finally tell you later on when I was seventeen after agonising about it but. . . but you got a girlfriend a few days before I was going to tell you. I was going to surprise you in a cute way but it was too late, so I lied when you finally asked what my surprise was and I told you I had a boyfriend, but I didn't. I. . . I was also a virgin and hadn't ever been with anyone else or had a boyfriend when I met Jimin when I was nineteen. You were the only person I had kissed or had ever done anything sexual with. I stayed with him because I didn't want to ruin our friendship and every time you got a new girlfriend I would just forgive Jimin because it hurt me too much to be left with my thoughts of you being with another woman. I have always felt guilty about it and felt like I was ruining your real chance at love. So I just stayed with Jimin because you kept losing your chance at love because of me being a fucking screw up and I knew you couldn't possibly love someone who looked like me. All of your girlfriends were so beautiful and looked like models, I knew I stood no chance because I'm small, not pretty and dumpy. I'm not them. I also walked in on you having sex with your girlfriend a few days later when I was seventeen and cried for a whole week. I lied and said I had the flu and didn't come to school for a whole week!!"

I stop and it's totally quiet, he doesn't say anything for a few minutes and neither do I.

I'm just waiting for him to walk out on me and tell me he could never love me like that.

"Oh Princess! I'm so sorry!"

He suddenly starts crying again, but he is not just crying he's sobbing.

"I . . Th-That is all my fault!! I . . I listened to a friend who told me to get a girlfriend to try to get over liking you! I didn't like her, I just didn't want to fuck up our friendship. . and. . and he said I had to get over you. Because you clearly weren't interested like that, especially after you didn't acknowledge our drunken dare I thought you didn't remember either! OR that you wanted to forget it! When you lied and said you had a boyfriend, that you had had sex. I was so hurt and in my anger I slept with. . with that g-girl! It was dreadful and I felt awkward doing it with someone I didn't love! WHY? WHY DID YOU LIE?! WHY TORTURE YOURSELF AND STAY WITH JIMIN BECAUSE OF ME!! YOU HURT YOURSELF AND ITS ALL BECAUSE OF ME!!"

He gets louder as he starts to sound almost angry with me.

"I lied because it fucking killed me Jungkook and my friend said that I should really try to get over it and realise that you only loved me as a best friend!! I couldn't understand how we always ended up doing things when we were drunk but acted normal when we weren't! I saw you two all over each other on the bed the day before I told you and lied that I had sex, I went to your house and ran out when I caught you! You must have liked her or you wouldn't have been kissing her like that Jungkook! And you never told me you liked me either and after we kissed that time when we were thirteen too, you also acted like it was a mistake!! And what friend?"

I exclaim back as he is not going to just lay this at my front door!

"It was Hoseok! What does it matter now!"

He scoffs at me and I chuckle sarcastically now, he has to be kidding.

This has to be a cruel joke, Hoseok?

"You do know that Hoseok kept asking me out and I refused him loads of times! I even shouted at him one time that I was already in love with someone else. I got so exasperated with his persistence and even though I didn't admit it he guessed it was you and I just walked off without confirming it! He fucking did that because he was mad that I refused him so many times, I hope you know that! And you had so many girlfriends over the years and kept talking about your great sex life in front of me!! Even before I got with Jimin!! SO WHY THE FUCK WOULD I THINK OTHERWISE JUNGKOOK!!"

I yell at him, sounding exasperated, throwing my arms up.

He looks really shocked at what I just said, then his whole expression darkens and he now looks really angry.

"That piece of shit!! If I ever see him again I'm gonna punch him! After you got that boyfriend I tried to act like a normal friend because I thought you didn't like me either! And I only did that the last three years because Jimin would constantly talk about doing sexual things with you every time he spoke to Taehyung in front of me! Or when I would come over even! And I literally hate fucked those women where I was so mad all the time! I never told any of them that I loved them, I always left them when they tried to tell me to stop talking to YOU! Loads of them demanded that I choose them and I NEVER DID ALICE!! I CHOSE YOU!! I never did because. . . because I. ."

Jungkook is exclaiming really loudly at me before his defeated voice drops off getting quieter.

He sighs, running his hand over his face.

"And do you know I haven't slept with Jimin for about six months! I told him to prove he loved me. And every time he cheated again I barely went near him for ages!! So as you could imagine it was a lot of time with no sex! Because of what Jungkook?”

I’m so exasperated with this whole thing and it shows when I talk.

But when I ask him the last question I go dead still waiting for him to answer, it feels like ages before he finally does answers.

"Because. . Because I love you Alice, I have loved you since we were kids. But I was scared to lose you and I didn't think you wanted me like that. When I kissed you that day when I was thirteen I felt so happy, but I was also scared that you would think it was a mistake and stop being friends with me. I even panicked that night when you slept over, because you almost caught me having a wet dream about you and I thought you heard me! So I joked off the kiss the next day so I wouldn't get hurt or that you would think I was moaning your name because of that! Then as we got older even though our dare's were getting more sexual you always talked about crushes and wanting to get a boyfriend one day, that you would have one who would be your best friend. But I didn't think you meant me, I thought you were going to get a new best friend and forget about me! And my friendship with you was always special to me!"

He pauses his actual rant running his fingers through his hair then he carries on sighing.

"When you got with Jimin and I had to see you kiss him for the first time I was so upset I ran off and I think Jimin saw me and realised that I loved you. That's why he said all those things! He would also start grabbing you and kissing you on purpose to see my reaction, he even used to look right at me or smirk at me. I thought it was because he knew I hated him for cheating on you, but it was to flaunt it in my fucking face! Do you know how that felt, to watch him treat the woman I loved for so long like that! Did you know that I almost left here for a once of a lifetime internship about two years ago, I couldn't watch you two together anymore. But he cheated with Sharmin just before I was going to leave and you were so upset that I couldn't leave you in that state! So I bailed on them and lost the internship! But he would always goad me saying things like you had just had make up sex and was a little sore and horrible things like that! That the neighbours complained last night because of you screaming!! But now I know it was all fucking lies!"

His hands are moving everywhere as he speaks, he looks so frustrated and angry.

I'm about to reply and he starts ranting at me again, unloading everything.

"I feel like I have been fucking stuck in limbo since I was a teenager! Never being able to move on because I can't love anyone else!! It’s like we were in an emotional relationship! There is no one else I can imagine having kids with or marrying, no one else I could ever imagine living with because in my imagination and dreams it's always you!! They are just never you and they never will be you! It's why I always picked women that I wasn't really that attracted to and that looked the furthest thing from what you looked like! I didn't want to feel like I was using them as a replacement or as a substitute! Because no one could ever replace you in my mind!”

He looks really hurt and is just unloading the mother of all rants on me, the pent up energy is just spilling out of him.

“One girl finished with me because I was moaning your name in my sleep and it clearly wasn't a normal dream!! It's no wonder they were always jealous of you, I have pictures of us in my apartment everywhere. I have your clothes in my apartment, your toothbrush, your deodorant, pyjamas, your favourite food, your favourite films even!! I never called them Baby or Princess, they got no pet names! All of my phone is filled with pictures and videos of us together, my phone screen is of one of us together too! My wallpaper on my computer is even of us together!! I finished with a girl once because she threw a picture of us together as kids against a wall in a fit of jealousy and it smashed and she ruined it too! I have only had angry one night stands for eighteen months because I couldn't go through these bullshit lies about liking these women anymore! I lied about having girlfriends to you too!"

He lets out a huge huff of air where he is literally panting from spilling every last piece of frustration from the last sixteen years.

Jungkook stops his angry rant and looks down at me with a horrible hurt look in his eyes, my heart clenches at his pain because it’s my pain too.

His hand tenderly reaches for my face, placing his hand on my cheek, rubbing his thumb against it.

I tenderly place my hand over his and lean into his touch, closing my eyes.

"How dare he hurt my Alice, MY ALICE! I have wanted to beat his ass so many times over the years!! Please never go back to him! I couldn't bear it, not again. I would leave for good, because I just can't handle watching it anymore Alice, it’s been destroying me. Please give me a chance, I would never treat you like that or cheat on you. I meant every word I said Baby, I love you so much. No one will ever love you as much as I love you, I love you so much that it hurts to be apart from you. I love you so much that I stayed because you are my home and my heart, my everything and I would be hollow without you"

Jungkook tells me with tenderness in his voice.

I open my eyes to finally look up at him, he leans in to give me a firm kiss on my forehead, then each cheek, then finally he leaves a lingering chaste kiss on my lips.

When he pulls away his face is still right by mine, my eyes scan his face and he is so beautiful, his dark doe eyes look more hopeful because I didn't stop him from kissing me.

I place my hand in his hair pulling his head back to mine pressing his lips against mine and as soon as his lips part I kiss him with a fervent passion my tongue caressing his, because I'm so hungry for this kiss, I'm finally able to kiss them like I have imagined so many times over the years.

He picks me up so fast making me straddle him, his lips still furiously kissing mine as he groans into my mouth.

Jungkook walks over to the sofa sitting down with me pulling me against his body, his hand moves to my waist and the other winds its fingers into my hair keeping me against his enthusiastic mouth making me whimper into the kiss.

When we pull away he keeps his lips ghosting over mine as we pant from the lack of breath.

"I love you so fucking much Jungkook! I always have and I always will, forevermore. I have never loved anyone else but you, it’s always been you”

I pant as my hot breath falls against his lips.

"My Princess, my Baby, I love you with every single part of my soul. My Alice. My beautiful girl, my best friend, you have never been anyone else’s but mine”

He replies, squeezing me tighter.

========================================

After our big argument we decided to take it slow but we are finally together, we laugh now about how stupid we both were as teenagers.

But we have been having really long deep conversations all the time to get through the hurt we have put each other through.

We both thought it was wise to heal first and not to jump headfirst into a sexual thing yet.

I have some really happy parents right now who told us it was about time we both realised that we loved each other, that it was so obvious to everyone but us.

They are all happy that Jimin is now a thing of the past, that I finally broke it off with him.

They were terrified that I would get pregnant and have him stuck in my life for good.

It's been six weeks since I split from Jimin and he still keeps trying to call me and message me on social media.

I blocked him a few times and he keeps getting new accounts, Jungkook finally texted him and told him to back the hell off.

He wasn't happy with Jungkook and told him to mind his own business.

Every time we see him we walk off in the opposite direction before he can see us.

We have been still taking it slow and I've been back at college for two weeks now, no one has noticed that we’re a couple where we were so close before anyway.

We are liking it that way for now, so there is no pressure from anyone.

People just thought he was being extra cautious and protective with me, so they didn't say anything when he held my hand or fed me food in the cafeteria.

Well they did think that, until Jimin just tried to approach me again today in the cafeteria and Jungkook told him to get away from me.

I can see everyone already whispering and I can see his baby momma watching us with a hurt look on her face, I notice her belly looking bigger than before and her friend is definitely looking pissed.

"What fucking business is it of yours Jungkook! Let me speak to Alice and stop being the pathetic unrequited love disguised as a best friend!!"

Jimin sneers at him loudly before looking back at me, I hear an 'oh shit!' from Taehyung who knows Jungkook is probably going to punch him.

I'm about to stand up to tell him to get lost and to not speak to my boyfriend like that but Jungkook beats me to it.

"Best friend?! You are a little behind on the news Jimin. Ha ha ha!! What you say to MY GIRLFRIEND, very much affects me!"

He replies loudly standing up in his seat pushing his tray away, we hear gasps from people.

"ABOUT TIME!! IT WAS OBVIOUS!!"

Someone yells out, I dart my face to the sound source but I don't see who it is.

"YOU AND HER!! Oh you finally wormed your way in there and took advantage of my little mess! I always knew you wanted to take Alice from me. Do you think I didn't see all your love sick looks and those times you would walk off when I was kissing her! She is definitely on the rebound, how does it feel to be the rebound, poor Jungkookie! How did it feel to watch the girl you loved be kissed by me and to have to listen to her getting fucked by me!!"

He mocks him, sounding really angry and Jungkook jerks towards him where he is about to grab him but Jungkook pauses his head darting to me when I slam my drink down making a mess.

I’m just about ready to upload all of my frustration, anger and trauma on him, I’m ready.

"SHUT UP!! JUST SHUT UP JIMIN!! YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WAS THE STAND IN, THE FUCKING REPLACEMENT! WHERE I COULDN'T HAVE WHO I REALLY LOVED!! YOU COULDN'T HOLD A CANDLE TO JUNGKOOK! HE AND I HAVE BASICALLY BEEN IN AN EMOTIONAL RELATIONSHIP FOR SIXTEEN YEARS AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE!! BUT WE WERE TOO STUPID TO ADMIT WE HAVE LOVED EACH OTHER SINCE WE WERE CHILDREN!! HE WAS WHO I THOUGHT ABOUT WHEN I DREAMED, WHO I THOUGHT ABOUT WHENEVER I DID HAVE SEX WITH YOU, WHICH WAS RARELY DUE TO YOU CHEATING SO MUCH! WHO I DREAMED ABOUT MARRYING!! DON'T YOU REALISE THAT I HAVE NEVER SAID I LOVED YOU TO YOU, NOT ONCE! DID YOU NEVER NOTICE THAT I ONLY EVER REPLIED ME TOO! NOT THAT YOU HAVE EVER LOVED ME ANYWAY! BUT I ALWAYS TOLD JUNGKOOK THAT I LOVED HIM! AND EVEN IF HE DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS IN A ROMANTIC WAY, IT WAS!! HE IS A THOUSAND TIMES THE MAN YOU ARE!! HOW DOES IT FEEL TO KNOW I LOVED ANOTHER MAN THE WHOLE TIME I WAS WITH YOU!”

I’m shouting so loud that I’m surprised the college security hasn’t come yet.

I hear someone suddenly yell out.

"YES SAVAGE!! Tell him Alice! He damn well deserves it!! He is the ultimate piece of shit!!"

I look and see that it's my old friend Yoongi who grins at me, he hates Jimin and punched him really hard once.

Jungkook is smiling at me, I can tell that he is really proud of me.

"HOW MUCH OF A BASTARD ARE YOU THAT YOUR BABY MOMMA FIANCÉE IS OVER THERE, AND YOU ARE TRYING TO GET ME BACK!! WHY??? JUST SO YOU CAN TELL ME HOW FUCKING FAT I AM OR HOW I AM SOOOO DAMN LUCKY TO BE WITH YOU?? WHY?? SO YOU CAN TREAT ME LIKE SHIT AND CHEAT!! OR WAS IT JUST SO YOU COULD RUB IT IN JUNGKOOK'S FACE?! YOU KNEW HE LOVED ME AND THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY TO MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE ACTUALLY LEAVING! SO HE DIDN'T HAVE TO WATCH YOU TEARING ME DOWN AND MAKING ME LOSE WHO I WAS!! YOU MADE ME LOSE ALL OF MY FRIENDS BECAUSE OF YOUR CHEATING! SLEPT WITH MY FRIENDS!! AND STILL TRIED TO TAKE THE ONLY ONE I HAD LEFT BY TRYING TO PUSH HIM TO LEAVE TOO!!"

I shout so loud that everyone is most definitely listening.

"Tell him Baby! Unload it all!"

Jungkook grins at me.

"I WILL SAY THIS ONLY ONCE!! YOUR SEX WASN'T SHIT COMPARED TO JUNGKOOK'S AND YOU DON'T EVEN COMPARE IN SIZE! HA HA!! YOU COULDN'T EVEN GET ME OFF SO I HAD TO THINK ABOUT JUNGKOOK EVERY TIME! I WAS ONLY WITH YOU TO TRY TO FORGET ABOUT JUNGKOOK! SO FUCK OFF AND DON'T TALK TO ME AGAIN! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR BULLSHIT AND I FEEL SORRY FOR CANDICE HAVING TO PUT UP WITH YOUR TOXIC CRAP FOREVER!! I HATE YOU WITH A PASSION AND WOULDN'T CARE IF I EVER SAW YOU AGAIN! I WASTED THREE YEARS OF MY LIFE ON YOU AND I CAN NEVER GET THEM BACK! WHY WOULD I WANT TO SPEND ANOTHER THREE SECONDS MORE LISTENING TO YOUR RIDICULOUS RUBBISH! NOW LEAVE BEFORE I LET MY BOYFRIEND BEAT YOUR ASS LIKE HE HAS BEEN DYING TO DO FOR THREE YEARS!!"

I sneer at him panting from my insane rant and I move to Jungkook who looks really proud of me for standing up for myself against Jimin finally and for what I just said.

He smirks and kisses me like he misses me and I don't care, I let him.

"WOO HOO!! THAT IS THE ALICE I MISSED!"

My friend Yoongi shouts out and Namjoon hollers out too whooping, I lost both of them due to Jimin.

My old friend Denise even whistles at us because she found out exactly what Jimin was like first hand too.

Taehyung even shouts out loudly.

"ABOUT DAMN TIME JUNGKOOK! I WAS LOSING HOPE THAT ALIKOOK WAS EVER GONNA BE A REALITY!"

Jimin scoffs at us and finally marches away, my whole body goes pliant in Jungkook’s arms as I relax finally.

"I'm so fucking proud of you my Princess! My sex is much better huh, how do you know Baby? Or is that the sex you had in your dreams or imagination when you needed to get off? Hmm I like thinking that you were imagining me and I might have been imagining you at the same time"

He groans in my ear, oh he likes that I thought about him every time or had to use him to get off.

We haven't had sex yet, just a little light foreplay until we both feel ready, as we are both still healing from years of suffering and trauma we put ourselves through.

"I know. But I couldn't have him mock you Kookie! I was about to punch him and I had to give him the cold hard truth. The way he talked to you was vile, I wasn’t having it, not anymore. That was the only part I lied about though Kookie! As your dick is almost twice the size of his! THAT I didn't lie about!"

I giggle when he pecks all over my face.

"You two! Is this what I'm going to have to put up with every time I'm at Kook's now?!"

Taehyung shouts out groaning and I look to see everyone staring at our PDA, we cough and he pulls me to his lap and we sit down chuckling as we eat our dinner in peace.

Yoongi congratulates us as he walks to class with us and Namjoon said that he's proud of whoever went for it and confessed.

He was shocked when I put my hand up saying it was me, but he says he's damn proud patting my head.

Tells me that I’m glowing and look so much happier now, that he’s so happy for us.

Yoongi tells me that he is so glad that I’m finally free from that bullshit and Candice did me a favour.

Denise messaged me on Instagram telling me that she was sorry about what happened between us and that she is actually glad that I'm finally away from Jimin.

That he is one manipulative, toxic man.

That she was happy that I finally got with Jungkook after all those years of pining, she of course knew because I told her in high school.

But she said it was so obvious over the years that we still loved each other.

I feel so damn amazing, I have had friends talk to me again for the first time in a year and I just told Jimin where to go.

AND I finally told him the cold hard truth!

Truths I couldn't admit to even myself before and now I'm brave enough to scream them at Jimin in the cafeteria in front of everyone.

I've finally broken the chain of toxicity and distrust, I'm utterly free.

And when I look up at Jungkook I couldn't be happier, I'm finally where I was supposed to be all along, with my heart, my soulmate, my person, my Jungkook, my love, my everything.

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©️ Bangtans Momma.

Please do not translate, copy, steal or repost my stories as your own, or any part of my story as your own either.

Do not feed any part of my stories into any AI software either.

Sharing the link or re-blogging is perfectly fine of course.

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Anyone else know what fic this is?? I have looked but I can’t find it!

It sounds familar but not sure if I read this a while ago!

LOOKING FOR THE MOST HEARTBREAKING JUNGKOOK ANGST I HAVE EVER READ

(Trying my best to include whatever details I can remember, and I think there were 2 or 3 parts to it) Where reader & him were friends ever since they were little as their mothers are friends. And Jungkook falls in love with the reader's elder sister so their friendship falls apart, and Jungkook in the end marries her elder sister and has kids with her. Then the reader sends him her diary which details how she felt watching him fall for her elder sister ever since they were little. She also becomes engaged to Jimin I believe, who is a dermatologist and she grew up to be a marriage/couple counsel. I always thought it's called "The Time I Gave You" but Google gave me nothing so I hope for the best someone on here knows what I am looking for.

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S͟a͟v͟a͟g̲e͟ L͟o͟v͟e͟

Pairing: Jimin X OC. Jungkook X OC

Length: 10,000+ words

Rating: 15+ (it has no sexual activity or extreme violence, but has adult themes like cheating, toxic relationship, pregnancy and swearing, some mention of sexual themes but not graphic)

TW/Content: Angsty,angsty fluff, sadness, anger, mild violence (punching), depression, low self esteem, toxic relationship, hateful words, gaslighting, emotionally abusive, jealousy, mentally abusive, arguing and shouting, OC is chubby, unrequited love (but not really), male best friend is always there, clueless best friends, cheating, pregnancy (not OC) fluffy best friend, swearing, bad body image, Angst with happy ending, feelings exposed.

Kissing and hugging, mention of sexual things but no actual sexual content.

(Maybe in a part two if I feel like it)

But Jungkook has soft dom energy in the the way he talks to her and treats her.

OC and Jimin being savage loves in their own ways.

Genre: Angst, Toxic relationship, break up, angsty with a happy ending. Best friends being clueless.

Authors note: Not proof read but checked quickly by myself, was written in a day so it just flew out of my head.

Capitals means they are shouting or screaming at each other, which meant that when she tells Jimin off she is really MAD!

Wanted to prove I could write something without the story getting sexual or yandere etc. And I would SHARE IT!

Sorry about the font, but not going over it to change it now. Had trouble with copy and paste, but I like it this way!

========================================

F͟l͟a͟s͟h͟b͟a͟c͟k͟

"𝑰'𝒎 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒔𝒍𝒆𝒆𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒅...."

𝑨 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒚 𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒅𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒊𝒔 𝒄𝒖𝒓𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒍𝒚 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔, 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒂𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆.

"𝑪𝑨𝑵𝑫𝑰𝑪𝑬!!! 𝑾𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲!!!"

𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏 𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒌𝒔 𝒖𝒑 𝒕𝒐 𝒖𝒔 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒔𝒐𝒍𝒖𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒚 𝒇𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒎𝒆.

"𝑺𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒉𝒆𝒓, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒏'𝒕!"

𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒆𝒙𝒂𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅.

𝑰'𝒎 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒄𝒌 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒎𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒃𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆.

"𝑯𝒐𝒘 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒅𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆 𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏? 𝑯𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒏'𝒕 𝒊 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒆𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒂𝒍𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒚?! 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒚𝒆𝒕 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒕 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅'𝒕 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏! 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒎𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓'𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆!!"

𝑰 𝒚𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒌𝒆, 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝑰 𝒂𝒎 𝒅𝒐𝒏𝒆.

𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒇𝒂𝒓𝒄𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒏𝒐𝒘, 𝒊'𝒗𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒆𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉.

"𝑩𝒖𝒕 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆! 𝑰𝒕'𝒔 𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝑰 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆, 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆. 𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒂 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒅! 𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒔! 𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒃𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒕!!“

𝑯𝒆 𝒆𝒙𝒄𝒍𝒂𝒊𝒎𝒔 𝒑𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒍𝒆𝒈𝒈𝒚 𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒅𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒘𝒉𝒐 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒅 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒚 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒆 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒔𝒂𝒊𝒅.

"𝑬𝑿𝑪𝑼𝑺𝑬 𝑴𝑬! 𝑰𝑻 𝑾𝑨𝑺 𝑵𝑶𝑻 𝑨 𝑶𝑵𝑬 𝑵𝑰𝑮𝑯𝑻 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑱𝑰𝑴𝑰𝑵!! 𝑶𝑹 𝑳𝑰𝑬𝑺!"

𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒔 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒚 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒃𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒆.

"𝑺𝒉𝒖𝒕 𝒖𝒑 𝑪𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒆!"

𝑯𝒆 𝒈𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒔 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒉 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒓𝒚.

"𝑰 𝑾𝑰𝑳𝑳 𝑵𝑶𝑻 𝑺𝑯𝑼𝑻 𝑼𝑷!! 𝑺𝑯𝑬 𝑫𝑬𝑺𝑬𝑹𝑽𝑬𝑺 𝑻𝑶 𝑲𝑵𝑶𝑾!!"

𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒆𝒙𝒄𝒍𝒂𝒊𝒎𝒔 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒅𝒍𝒚.

𝑷𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒂𝒕𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒇𝒊𝒍𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒚 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒖𝒎𝒂 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏....𝑮𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕!!

"𝑰 𝑺𝑨𝑰𝑫 𝑺𝑯𝑼𝑻 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲 𝑼𝑷!!"

𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏 𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎𝒔 𝒊𝒏 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒕 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒎𝒆 𝒇𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒉 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒅 𝒊𝒕 𝒊𝒔, 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒈𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒚.

𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏'𝒕 𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒗𝒆 𝒉𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒑𝒉𝒚𝒔𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒉𝒆𝒓, 𝒂𝒔 𝒉𝒆'𝒔 𝒂 𝒑𝒊𝒆𝒄𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒕 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒉𝒆’𝒔 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒑𝒉𝒚𝒔𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒃𝒖𝒔𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆!

"𝑯𝑶𝑾 𝑫𝑨𝑹𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑮𝑬𝑻 𝑰𝑵 𝑴𝒀 𝑭𝑨𝑪𝑬!!"

𝑪𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝒑𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒑𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒓𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎.

"𝑫𝒐 𝑵𝑶𝑻 𝒕𝒐𝒖𝒄𝒉 𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏! 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒑𝒊𝒆𝒄𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒕!!"

𝑯𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒉𝒂𝒊𝒓 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒔 𝒑𝒖𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌.

"𝑰'𝒎 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝑨𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒆, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑪𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒏𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒕𝒔 𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏'𝒔 𝒃𝒂𝒃𝒚. 𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒆𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒌𝒔 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒏𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒌𝒆𝒆𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒃𝒚. 𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒓𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒕𝒐 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒄𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒏 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒘𝒐 𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒘. 𝑯𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒊𝒏𝒗𝒐𝒍𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒘𝒐 𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒌𝒔 𝒂𝒈𝒐. 𝑯𝒆 𝒌𝒆𝒑𝒕 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒔𝒉 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖, 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒐𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒆𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒘. 𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒅𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒏'𝒕"

𝑯𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒔 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒔𝒆𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒌𝒆 𝒎𝒆.

"𝑭𝑶𝑹 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲𝑺 𝑺𝑨𝑲𝑬 𝑴𝑨𝑵𝑫𝒀!!! 𝑰 𝑺𝑨𝑰𝑫 𝑰 𝑾𝑶𝑼𝑳𝑫 𝑻𝑬𝑳𝑳 𝑯𝑬𝑹!!"

𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒔 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅, 𝒔𝒐 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒆.

𝑴𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒌𝒔, 𝒊'𝒎 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝑰 𝒂𝒎 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒂𝒑𝒔𝒆, 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒊'𝒎 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒂 𝒑𝒂𝒏𝒊𝒄 𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒂𝒄𝒌.

𝑰𝒕'𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒂𝒅𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒑𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒖𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒔𝒆𝒆 𝑻𝒂𝒆𝒉𝒚𝒖𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒎𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒉 𝒈𝒂𝒑𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒏.

𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒈𝒐𝒆𝒔 𝒒𝒖𝒊𝒆𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰𝒕'𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒑𝒔, 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒓𝒖𝒏 𝒂𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒊'𝒎 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒄𝒌 𝒊𝒏 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒆.

𝑾𝒉𝒚 𝒅𝒐 𝑰 𝒑𝒖𝒕 𝒖𝒑 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏?

𝑪𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒐𝒏 𝑨𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒆, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒑𝒖𝒕 𝒖𝒑 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔, 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒅𝒆𝒍𝒖𝒅𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍!

"𝑺𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒆?"

𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏 𝒔𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒒𝒖𝒊𝒆𝒕𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒊𝒎.

"𝑰𝒕'𝒔 𝒐𝒌𝒂𝒚, 𝒘𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝑰 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖, 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝑺𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒏𝒐 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏, 𝑰 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒆𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒈𝒐 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏 𝒑𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒏 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒖𝒑 𝒂𝒏𝒚𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒓 𝒈𝒐 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒄𝒍𝒖𝒃𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒆. 𝑩𝒖𝒕 𝒊 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒚𝒆𝒅 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒊 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖. 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒅𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒓, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒏'𝒕 𝒔𝒍𝒆𝒆𝒑 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍 𝒂𝒏𝒅.."

𝑯𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒓𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒓𝒚 𝒈𝒂𝒔𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒃𝒂𝒃𝒚 𝒎𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒂 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒂𝒄𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒂𝒖𝒍𝒕 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏.

𝑰 𝒐𝒇𝒇𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒔𝒏𝒂𝒑!

"𝑫𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕! 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑱𝑰𝑴𝑰𝑵! 𝑰 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑯𝑨𝑻𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼!! 𝑮𝑬𝑻 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑯𝑬𝑳𝑳 𝑨𝑾𝑨𝒀 𝑭𝑹𝑶𝑴 𝑴𝑬!! 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑫𝑰𝑫 𝑻𝑯𝑰𝑺 𝑻𝑶 𝑴𝑬!! 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑻𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑻𝑬𝑫 𝑴𝑬 𝑳𝑰𝑲𝑬 𝑺𝑯𝑰𝑻 𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑴𝑨𝑫𝑬 𝑴𝑬 𝑭𝑬𝑬𝑳 𝑳𝑰𝑲𝑬 𝑺𝑯𝑰𝑻! 𝑰 𝑾𝑨𝑺 𝑵𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑹 𝑳𝑰𝑲𝑬 𝑻𝑯𝑰𝑺 𝑩𝑬𝑭𝑶𝑹𝑬 𝑰 𝑴𝑬𝑻 𝒀𝑶𝑼!!“

𝑰 𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒉𝒆 𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒔 𝒎𝒆, 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒃𝒚 𝒎𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒂 𝑪𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒆.

𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝑰 𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒖𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒔𝒏𝒂𝒑 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒄𝒓𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒓 𝒓𝒖𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒇𝒇 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅.

"𝑮𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒍𝒖𝒄𝒌! 𝑰'𝒎 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒈𝒐𝒕 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒏𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒃𝒚 𝒉𝒊𝒎. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒈𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒊𝒕, 𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒏 𝒎𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒆 𝒚𝒆𝒂𝒓'𝒔! 𝑺𝒍𝒆𝒑𝒕 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒚 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒂 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒏𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅, 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒕𝒄𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒔. 𝑻𝒉𝒐𝒔𝒆 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒘𝒐 𝒐𝒇 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒚 𝒘𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒏, 𝒂𝒍𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒏𝒂𝒏𝒕, 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝑺𝑻𝑫'𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒔𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒅. 𝑯𝒆 𝒈𝒂𝒔𝒍𝒊𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒂𝒅𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒅𝒆𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅, 𝒂𝒏𝒙𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒚𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇! 𝑩𝒆𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒆! 𝑩𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒐𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒂 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒂 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒓!"

𝑰 𝒔𝒄𝒐𝒇𝒇 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒊 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒂𝒕 𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏, 𝑰 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒛𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰'𝒎 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒖𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒚 𝒅𝒐𝒏𝒆.

"𝑮𝑶𝑶𝑫𝑩𝒀𝑬 𝑱𝑰𝑴𝑰𝑵! 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑵𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑹 𝑺𝑯𝑶𝑾 𝒀𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑭𝑨𝑪𝑬 𝑨𝑹𝑶𝑼𝑵𝑫 𝑴𝑬 𝑨𝑮𝑨𝑰𝑵! 𝑰'𝑴 𝑨𝑩𝑺𝑶𝑳𝑼𝑻𝑬𝑳𝒀 𝑫𝑶𝑵𝑬!!"

𝑰 𝒔𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎, 𝑰'𝒎 𝒂𝒃𝒔𝒐𝒍𝒖𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒚 𝒓𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒈.

"𝒀𝑬𝑨𝑯 𝑮𝑶 𝑭𝑰𝑵𝑫 𝑱𝑼𝑵𝑮𝑲𝑶𝑶𝑲 𝑳𝑰𝑲𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑨𝑳𝑾𝑨𝒀𝑺 𝑫𝑶! 𝑰'𝑴 𝑺𝑼𝑹𝑬 𝑯𝑬 𝑾𝑰𝑳𝑳 𝑴𝑨𝑲𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑭𝑬𝑬𝑳 𝑩𝑬𝑻𝑻𝑬𝑹!! 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑯𝑨𝑽𝑬 𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑩𝑨𝑩𝑳𝒀 𝑩𝑬𝑬𝑵 𝑺𝑳𝑬𝑬𝑷𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑾𝑰𝑻𝑯 𝑯𝑰𝑴 𝑨𝑵𝒀𝑾𝑨𝒀, 𝑰 𝑪𝑨𝑵 𝑻𝑬𝑳𝑳 𝑯𝑬 𝑾𝑨𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑫 𝑻𝑶 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑾𝑯𝑶𝑳𝑬 𝑻𝑰𝑴𝑬!! 𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑫𝑬𝑭𝑰𝑵𝑰𝑻𝑬𝑳𝒀 𝑾𝑨𝑺𝑵'𝑻 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑴𝑬 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑳𝑨𝑺𝑻 𝑺𝑰𝑿 𝑴𝑶𝑵𝑻𝑯𝑺!!"

𝑯𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒔 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒂𝒕 𝒎𝒆.

"𝑫𝑶𝑵'𝑻 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑹 𝑻𝑨𝑳𝑲 𝑨𝑩𝑶𝑼𝑻 𝑱𝑼𝑵𝑮𝑲𝑶𝑶𝑲 𝑳𝑰𝑲𝑬 𝑻𝑯𝑨𝑻!!! 𝑴𝑨𝒀𝑩𝑬 𝑰 𝑺𝑯𝑶𝑼𝑳𝑫 𝑯𝑨𝑽𝑬 𝑮𝑶𝑻𝑻𝑬𝑵 𝑾𝑰𝑻𝑯 𝑯𝑰𝑴 𝑩𝑬𝑭𝑶𝑹𝑬 𝑰 𝑴𝑬𝑻 𝒀𝑶𝑼, 𝑺𝑶 𝑰 𝑾𝑶𝑼𝑳𝑫 𝑯𝑨𝑽𝑬 𝑵𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑹 𝑮𝑶𝑻 𝑾𝑰𝑻𝑯 𝒀𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑨𝑺𝑺! 𝑨𝑺 𝑯𝑬'𝑺 𝑾𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑨 𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑳 𝑴𝑨𝑵 𝑨𝑪𝑻'𝑺 𝑳𝑰𝑲𝑬! 𝑵𝑶𝑻 𝑳𝑰𝑲𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑺𝑬𝑹𝑰𝑨𝑳 𝑪𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑵𝑮, 𝑬𝑴𝑶𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑨𝑳𝑳𝒀 𝑨𝑩𝑼𝑺𝑰𝑽𝑬, 𝑮𝑨𝑺𝑳𝑰𝑮𝑯𝑻𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑨𝑺𝑺!! 𝑰 𝑯𝑨𝑽𝑬 𝑵𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑹 𝑪𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑻𝑬𝑫 𝑶𝑵 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑵 𝑻𝑯𝑶𝑼𝑮𝑯 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑫𝑬𝑺𝑬𝑹𝑽𝑬𝑫 𝑰𝑻!! 𝑺𝑶 𝑲𝑬𝑬𝑷 𝑴𝒀 𝑩𝑬𝑺𝑻 𝑭𝑹𝑰𝑬𝑵𝑫𝑺 𝑵𝑨𝑴𝑬 𝑶𝑼𝑻 𝑶𝑭 𝒀𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑺𝑻𝑫 𝑹𝑰𝑫𝑫𝑬𝑵 𝑴𝑶𝑼𝑻𝑯!! 𝑮𝑶𝑶𝑫𝑩𝒀𝑬 𝑨𝑺𝑺𝑯𝑶𝑳𝑬!“

𝑰 𝒚𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒊𝒏 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒑𝒖𝒔𝒉 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒇𝒇, 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒌 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝑱𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒌𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕!

𝑰 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝑻𝒂𝒆𝒉𝒚𝒖𝒏𝒈 𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒂 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍 𝒑𝒊𝒆𝒄𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒔 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒌 𝒐𝒇𝒇, 𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒔 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒕𝒐 𝒇𝒖𝒄𝒌 𝒐𝒇𝒇.

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝑪𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒆'𝒔 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎, 𝑰 𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒍𝒂𝒑𝒔 𝒉𝒊𝒎.

𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒌𝒆𝒆𝒑𝒔 𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒅 𝒉𝒊𝒈𝒉, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑰 𝒅𝒐, 𝑰'𝒎 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒆!

𝑰'𝒎 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐𝒐 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒂𝒔 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒌 𝒐𝒇𝒇, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏 𝒊𝒔𝒏’𝒕 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎.

𝑵𝒐𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒚𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆!

========================================

All I can do is sob and I can't think of anything else, I can't sleep, I haven't showered or bathed in four days and I haven't thought of eating either, I tried to but it tastes like cardboard.

I feel like I just got out of a fever dream, one of my own stupid making.

I bet I look dreadful, I know my eyes are swollen and bloodshot and my face is definitely all puffy and red, I know I’m looking awful.

My hair is probably looking like a literal bird's nest right now and my eyes will also be looking black too from zero sleep.

I bet I look like the crypt keeper right now, but a fat one!

I muted my phone calls at first, then I turned it off where there were annoying notification sounds were coming from all my social media too.

Some randoms I didn't even know had been messaging me, I know they are just trying to get the dirt on the absolute shit show that is my life right now.

I know they all filmed what has to be the most humiliating moment of my life, I hope my brother doesn't see it but I bet Jungkook heard about it from Taehyung who was there too.

So that means Jin probably does know.

I don’t want any lectures or pity parties.

I cringe knowing that everyone is gonna say I told you so, but really they all don't know the truth of why I stayed with him.

Someone was banging on my door for half an hour yesterday but I didn't answer it, just in case it was Jimin.

As I didn't want to see him or listen to his gaslighting ass.

He tried knocking on the door and calling all day Sunday after his baby momma and her friend had told me what he had done.

This is the thing he couldn't ever fix, not this time. . . It's permanent.

And my toxic nightmare is finally over. . . It’s finally done.

Why does he always do this to me?

He always cheats on me and then comes back telling me that he was wasted, drunk or the woman came onto him.

Then he manipulates me, lies, gas lights me and then cries if I don't listen to his apologies.

He knows how much it messes with my head, with my body image, especially when the women are tall, model looking and slim.

I'm short and also chubby, I wear glasses and wear cute and comfortable clothes, not short tight dresses.

Someone is currently banging on my door again and I just pull the quilt over my head trying to hide from the whole world.

I can hear someone shouting but I just put my hands over my ears and hum childishly under the blankets wanting the shouting and banging to stop.

When the banging stops I sigh, why don't they get that I don't want anyone's pity or fake sad faces, I don't want anyone asking me bullshit questions under the guise of being nice just so they can get the tea about my trauma.

And I definitely don't want to see Jimin.

I don't want to talk about how my heart has been ripped from my chest and stomped on, and not just by Jimin.

Or how there is no coming back from this, no lie or manipulation can make this go away, it's the permanent kind of mistake that I don't want to live with or have to deal with, not anymore.

I can't keep my mind occupied from what really torments me, I usually distract my mind with the drama Jimin brings me but not anymore, but this is too much.

Jimin made his bed and he can damn well lay in it, we are done and I'm finally grieving the utter disappointment, disaster and despair my relationship with him has been.

This whole relationship has damaged my soul and will leave a permanent mark.

Toxic wasn't a strong enough word to describe what our relationship was.

When I jumped into this relationship it was to forget someone else, but it never worked.

I’d never have to be there waiting for him to come home from the club anymore, or knowing I’m sleeping alone yet again.

Calling him only to get voicemail again or texting and seeing that he’s left me on read for the thousandth time.

Having people DM me to tell me that they are sleeping with Jimin or that they have just seen Jimin cheating with someone.

Or the multiple women’s scents lingering on his clothes, the occasional makeup smears on his shirt.

The marks he insists are scratches or pinch marks from working out.

My heart is no longer in my chest and I feel hollow and empty, but I also feel a strange calm, a feeling of relief that I can finally break free from this toxic and painful farce of a relationship.

It's cathartic and it feels like I have broken free from him mentally, emotionally and physically.

I'm grieving the painful loss but I'm scared of being alone after all my friends left or betrayed me because of him and of course some left because of me staying with him after his cheating.

It's been three years of me eating away my sorrows, crying into my best friend's arms, getting medication to deal with my depression and anxiety because of the pain and suffering.

Three years of my body looking worse and me not caring about my appearance anymore, because that's how I feel inside. . . Worthless and hollow.

Like I would never deserve or get the man I really wanted, he’s proven time and time again that he only wants to be my best friend.

When I think about it I don't ever remember a time when Jimin wasn't hurting me or making me feel like a piece of garbage.

Our honeymoon period was about six months and then it went to shit, then I found out he had cheated.

My friends all warned me away from him when I was in my first year of college and I should have listened, I was stupid and thought I could see the best in people.

One by one my friends had arguments with me about him, lost interest because of my depression and me not going out much anymore, or they slept with Jimin too.

The only ones I still see are my brother Seokjin and my best friend Jungkook, even though they don't see me as much due to them having arguments with Jimin about how he treats me.

Taehyung is sometimes still around due to Jungkook and Jin though.

But I don't see Yoongi or Namjoon anymore because they detest Jimin.

I have lost count of the amount of times Jin had Jimin by his shirt threatening to punch his lights out.

Jungkook punched him once for sleeping with my other best friend Sharmin, they were doing it behind my back for six months.

This was at the beginning of the second year of our relationship.

My other childhood friend Denise slept with him on a drunken night out too, it was the night that I went to my auntie's wedding with Jin and Jungkook.

Jimin didn't want to come to the wedding with me because my family really hates him and he refused to be judged by them.

I wasn't aware that they all knew he was a cheater because Jin had told them.

That incident with Denise was the first time I was aware of him cheating on me, others already knew he was a cheater and they all tried to shield me from it.

They tried to force Jimin to break up with me but he never did, he would just goad them and tell them to fuck off.

It’s why Yoongi had punched him, he was vile about it and had got up in Yoongi’s face too.

The others knew because they had caught Jimin in the act multiple times, they had all threatened him, had him by the throat and had even punched him.

A mutual friend called Taehyung took a picture of them kissing in the club that night and had sent it to Jungkook’s phone, who totally gave it away by the look on his face and I found out because I grabbed his phone feeling worried for him.

It was then that he told me everything and explained how it wasn't the first time, I also found out that day that Jimin was cheating on me the whole time.

He promised to change and I believed him like a stupid idiot, I clung to a useless pipe dream.

Should've known better.

Jungkook has been my best friend since we were six and we have both grown up together, we went through our teens learning and making mistakes.

We had shared our first kiss when we were 13, a peck and it was a dare at a sleepover and Jungkook was a little awkward for a few weeks after but we got over it.

Both of us started having a rebellious stage when we were both sixteen.

We were bunking off school and daring each other to do things, getting drunk and smoking weed.

We once went skinny dipping because of a dare and another time I had to flash him, we had our first French kiss together at 16 too and we made out grinding on each other when we were wasted too, but Jungkook obviously didn't remember it because he got a girlfriend two weeks later.

We are the kind of friends who are comfortable cuddling and sharing a bed, telling each other our secrets and dreams.

I had a huge crush on him all through my childhood and teen years, by the time I was sixteen I knew that I was totally in love with him.

I lamented the whole thing and tortured myself about telling him, I was worried that I would love him.

I was finally going to tell him on my seventeenth birthday after my other friend Denise told me to go for it, but a few days before I was going to surprise him he got a girlfriend and my heart literally broke into pieces.

I stayed his friend and had to watch him be with another girl, so I had to learn to separate my crush from my friendship.

The only boyfriend I have ever had was Jimin.

I told Jungkook I had a boyfriend when he asked me what the surprise was but I didn't have one.

I lied when he got his first girlfriend and wasn't spending as much time with me, by the time he finished with the girl I just said I split up with the fake boyfriend.

I also lied and told him I had sex with that boyfriend before I met Jimin, I didn't though.

He was disappointed at me for staying with Jimin and our relationship suffered a lot because he would get angry at me every time I forgave Jimin.

Jungkook would argue with me, with hurt feelings he would stay away for a few days then come back, knowing how hurt I would be to lose him too.

========================================

I panic when I hear the keys unlock my front door, wondering who the hell would have the spare keys.

Who would be able to get them from my mother?

I hope it's not Seokjin as he will kill Jimin this time and I don't want him to get arrested due to me.

I grip on to my quilt when I hear the footsteps approaching, I don't want anyone to see me like this.

"Princess?"

I breath hitches immediately and I hear him sigh, he tries to pull the quilt from me.

"Baby, come on it's okay, let me see you"

I pull the quilt from my head and my lip quivers when he looks down to me with sad eyes.

"Oh my Princess, come here"

He pulls me into his arms and I straddle him crying my heart out, he smooths my back softly rocking me.

"It's okay Baby, it's gonna be okay. I'm here now and I'm gonna take care of my Princess"

Jungkook has come like he usually does. Why does he always come to save me, comfort me and look after me?

I don't deserve his kindness and love.

He's had to put up with this kind of shit for the three years of me being with Jimin and he still hasn't left this friendship.

"I heard from Taehyung that you had a huge argument in college with Jimin, he only picked up some details, I'm so sorry Baby. You don't deserve this kind of pain, my Princess. I tried calling you and texting and you didn't answer, I got really worried when you didn't answer the door to me Baby. I had to go get the keys from momma when you didn't answer the phone or the door"

He caresses my hair as he carries on gently rocking me, he's always called my Mother momma too.

"He. . . He. . . J-Jungkook. . He. . I. ."

That's it I start sobbing again.

"It's okay Baby, you don't have to talk about it yet, don't upset yourself"

He coos at me kissing the top of my head.

"Don't cry Princess, it hurts my heart, please don't cry"

He sounds forlorn when he talks to me, it’s like he is in pain too.

My cries eventually turn into shudders and I calm down.

I must have fallen asleep in his arms because when I open my eyes again it's dark outside.

He must be stiff from holding me in the same position for so long.

"Are you awake?"

I hear him whisper and I nod into his chest.

"Shall we get you something to eat, and don't say no because I know you haven't ate anything in days, I know you by now"

He quietly says into my hair.

"Not hungry"

I mumble into his chest and he tuts at me.

"Baby, you have to eat! Now I'm gonna help sort you out and we are gonna have something to eat okay!"

Jungkook scolds me and I sigh and slowly start to nod because I know he won't take no for an answer.

"Let's run you a bath first and then get you into some comfy pyjamas, then I'm ordering us some takeaway, okay Princess"

I just mumble okay into his chest.

Jungkook places me on the sofa and goes off to run me a bath, I hear the water running and him moving about.

But being left to my own thoughts gets me crying again, by the time he comes back I'm in a state again.

"Oh my Baby! Come here!"

He says sadly pulling me into his arms picking me up, I cling to him like a koala and just sob.

I think I'm crying for many reasons, the reason I got into the relationship in the first place, the constant cheating, the outcome of said cheating, finally being done with the relationship.

How unloved, drained and damaged he has left me feeling and me feeling like I'm actually going to be free from it, it's finally over.

It's like I feel utter relief, but I'm numb because I carried on with this shit show for only one reason and now I have to live with my thoughts again, my pain.

"Come on my Princess, I'm going to help you alright. Is that okay? I won't look at you, but you need to wash and get into some clean clothes. Is that okay?"

I don't reply at first and just panic in his arms, he can't see me with no clothes on, he will be disgusted and think I look horrible.

He only saw me in underwear a few years back, once when I flashed him as a teen and once naked in the shower by mistake when I was about nineteen, I've put on weight since then.

"Princess?? Answer me! Words. . . Is that okay?"

Jungkook has a stern voice when he asks me and I just nod in his chest.

"Words Baby"

"Hmm okay, y-yes"

I mutter quietly.

"Okay let's go to the bathroom"

He softly replies, pecking my hair.

Jungkook puts me down and I just stare at the ground feeling flustered and embarrassed.

"Arms up Baby, good girl"

I slowly put them up and he slowly pulled my hoodie off.

Then he reaches for my t-shirt and I start to panic because I have no bra on and he is going to see my chubby belly too

Grabbing on to the bottom of my t-shirt to stop him he tuts at me.

"Princess! Are you gonna do it yourself? What's wrong?"

I shake my head and tears start to drop from my eyes.

"Y-You can't see me, I'm gross! J-Jimin said he only cheated because I've turned into a fat pig and I look disgusting! I d-don't want you to be d-disgusted by me or my fat!”

He now looks really angry with me and he cusses loudly.

"He fucking said what?! How dare he talk about my Princess like that! I'm gonna punch his lights out when I see him next!!"

Jungkook looks furious and I start worrying that he is going to get in trouble and I'm not worth getting arrested for.

"NO!! JUNGKOOK! You can't get arrested because of me! I'm not worth it!"

I panic and he just sighs at me.

"You ARE worth it! To ME you are worth it! You are my beautiful best friend and I would go to jail. . . for you"

He tells me with no hesitation in his voice.

"Now stop being stupid, I could NEVER be disgusted by you! Come on, I won't look! Let's get you in the tub before it gets cold"

Jungkook adds pulling my top off looking me in my eyes, my arm goes to my belly immediately but he doesn’t say anything.

He just kneels down and tugs at my leggings looking to the side, then he gingerly takes my socks off.

Only my panties are left so he quickly yanks those down and stands up only looking me in the eyes.

"Come on Baby, get in the tub"

I quickly get in and pull my knees up to my chest, he gives me a small smile and nods to himself in reassurance, picking up my dirty clothes to put them in the washing basket.

"The sponge and body wash is there. I will help you do your hair first okay. Then you can wash yourself, alright Princess"

He quietly says pulling the shower attachment to rinse my hair, I sigh as he runs his fingers through my long tresses.

Stopping he puts shampoo on and massages it in making me hum and put my head back.

"Does that feel relaxing Baby?"

He gives me a little chuckle as I nod.

After finishing my hair he tells me to wash my body and he's going to go order some food.

I nod and gingerly pick up the sponge washing myself all over, after I'm finished he knocks back on the door and asks if I'm ready to get out.

I reply that I am and he walks in holding up a towel and wrapping me up in it.

Then he picks me up and walks me into my room.

He proceeds to dry my hair first and then tells me to dry my body, he goes off when the door buzzer sounds off.

I get myself dried and look at the loungewear set he has set down on the bed for me.

I grab the top first and quickly put it on, then I quickly pull on the bottoms.

Jungkook walks in just as I finish and gives me a small smile.

"Let's put your hair in a plait or something first. The food is here Baby, so let's hurry up and go eat"

I nod and he comes over to comb through my knotty hair, then he does it in a side plait.

Afterwards we sit down to eat, well Jungkook eats and then forces me to eat by feeding me himself when he sees that I just push my food around on my plate.

When he is satisfied that I have eaten enough he cleans the dishes and we snuggle up in my room to watch one of my comfort films.

We watch spirited away, he knows it won't trigger me or remind me of Jimin because he never watched anime with me, he hated it and called it childish.

As I cuddle up to Jungkook I wonder how I can be so lucky to have such a great best friend.

He has always been there for me, he has never left me even after the arguments we have had about Jimin.

Jungkook even put up with Jimin's horrible attitude every time he came to mine, with the constant sarcastic comments and the loud scoffing every time Jungkook talked to me.

He ignored it all just to make me happy.

He came on my birthday to see me, on Christmas days too and never forgot any important events, not like Jimin did.

Jungkook has even put me above the few girlfriends he has had and finished with them when they got jealous of our relationship, one demanded for him to stop seeing me and he refused and finished with her the next day.

He refused to go to any dances with girls that asked in high school too because he would always go with me.

They didn't like him calling me Princess at all or hugging me goodbye or pecking my head, or when he would hold my hand.

Or when he would drop a date to run to me because of Jimin cheating again, when he would tell them he couldn't spend Sundays with them because it was our day together.

I sometimes feel really bad anxiety and guilt about what he has given up due to me, am I stopping him from being happy, from finding love?

I actually told him this once, to stop finishing with his girlfriends because of me and he said if they didn't like his Princess then they aren't the one for him, that they have to be able to deal with the fact that his best friend is a woman.

All of his relationships were short and he told me he never loved them, that it was easy to choose me over them.

But I still feel riddled with an uncomfortable guilt about ruining his relationships and interfering with his dates too.

I feel like I'm subconsciously trying to keep him to myself or that I'm messing with his relationships on purpose because of my own problems and feelings.

That I was toxic because I stayed with Jimin not only because I was trying to forget Jungkook but because he would come comfort me and spoil me for weeks after Jimin had cheated.

========================================

Jungkook has stayed with me all week, he even called the college for me and got me my notes from any classes I needed.

He has been a godsend and an Angel like he always is.

He even spoke to Seokjin and my mother when they came round and I didn't want to talk to anyone yet.

I felt embarrassed because they were all right about Jimin and I had stubbornly ignored all the talks and advice.

Jungkook knew that there was a few videos going around and told me people were actually on my side, but I didn't want to relive it.

Apparently no one at college was saying bad things about me, he told me that they are mad at Jimin for how he treated me AND Candice.

I told him that I still needed a little time and that I wasn't ready to go back and hear the gossip yet.

Jimin tried knocking on the door twice over the last week and Jungkook said I didn't want to see him anymore.

When I finally texted him to come get his things he must have thought he could get in and gaslight me again, but he was definitely not happy when Jungkook was the one that came to the door with a box of his belongings.

He just got into a fight with Jungkook at my front door now too, his attitude stinks.

It happened right after he handed Jimin's things to him in a box because I definitely didn't want to.

Jimin clearly wasn't happy that Jungkook was still with me and had just answered the door in just a pair of sweats and socks with no top on.

Jungkook punched him hard giving him a black eye after he started goading him saying that he must have finally hit it and saw how good my fat ass bounces when you hit it from the back.

That I was really good at sucking dick and that maybe he can finally feel what it's like for me to deep throat him, he was vile with his words.

After that he said that he was glad that Jungkook could finally get with me after pining after me for so long and how horrible it must have been for Jungkook having to listen to him fuck me raw all those times he slept over.

Then I gasped when he said that he made sure that I used to scream extra loud the nights Jungkook stayed over, just to give him something to wank off to, where he felt sorry for him.

That he stayed with me just to piss Jungkook off and how he always used to laugh with his friends when he used to see how sad and love sick he was over me, Jungkook totally lost it punching him again making his nose bleed.

He was absolutely fuming when he slammed the door in his face, it made a picture fall on the floor and I could see how furious he was as he paced around the room.

I just walked over and cuddled him, it stopped his pacing, luckily it calmed him down enough to not go beat Jimin's ass, because he looked ready to go back to the front door and kill him.

When I asked him if he was okay he just kissed me on the head and then nodded silently, then quietly saying he just needed a few minutes alone, then he walked off to the bathroom slamming the door hard.

I sat there feeling really uncomfortable because of what Jimin had just said to Jungkook, surely Jungkook doesn't feel that way about me, he would have told me. . . Wouldn't he?

He always told me everything, we never kept secrets from each other.

Why was Jimin saying those things?

I knew Jimin was jealous of Jungkook and that's all it sounded like up until the fight I last had with him and he had mentioned Jungkook in jealousy.

But what Jimin just said to him was too much, what does he know that I don't?

What did Jimin see that I didn't?

I know that I have always loved Jungkook but he never felt that way about me, did he?

When Jungkook doesn't come out of the bathroom I quietly walk over to the door on top toes, I’m about to knock but I pause when I hear him sniffling and clearly crying.

Why is he crying?

Do I still knock? What if he's crying because he can't take my shit anymore and all of this has finally gotten to him?

I pick up the courage to finally knock after agonising about whether to disturb him or not.

"Jungkook? Please let me in"

I plead with him, feeling guilty that he's crying because of Jimin and what he just did.

He goes quiet and I hear the tap turn on and water splashing, then I hear him let out a loud sigh.

When he finally opens the door I can clearly see that he has been crying, his eyes are red and puffy, his nose red.

He looks so down and sad when he looks at me though, I frown at his defeated demeanour.

I absolutely hate seeing him cry, Jungkook has never been one to shy away from his emotions but it has always made me cry whenever I saw him crying.

Cuddling him immediately because I can't bear to see him suffering or sad, I fling my arms around him.

His arms go around me squeezing me tightly and I hear him sniffle again.

"Jungkookie please don't cry! I hate seeing you cry Kookie. Please tell me what's wrong, what's upset you?"

I ask him mumbling into his muscular torso.

"I. . I can't Princess. . . I can't tell you. I don't want to ruin our friendship, I don't want to lose you"

Jungkook sounds so broken as he replies to me, I'm worried that he has betrayed our friendship in some way and is too scared to tell me.

"Kookie, nothing would ever make me stop being your friend. You are my person, my everything and my soulmate. You have been there for me when everyone else betrayed me or hurt me. You know nearly all my secrets and I know yours! The only ones I haven't told you about were for the sake of our friendship. I know our friendship has been strained over the last three years because of Jimin, but you have always been there for me, even when you were mad at me, you still came back to comfort me"

I tell him still hugging him.

"Not ALL my secrets Princess, that's why I can't tell you and what do you mean for the sake of our friendship?"

He finally sighs squeezing me a little tighter, but sounds puzzled when he asks me.

"Oh. . Umm I'm not sure whether it's even worth me telling you now as it doesn't really matter because I can't go back in time and change anything"

I mumble into his chest feeling shy and too scared to tell him.

"Baby, just tell me. If it was so long ago then what does it matter?"

I sigh, biting my lip and wondering if I should just tell him.

"I. . . Please don't leave me if I tell you, I can't take you leaving me too Jungkook, promise me. And technically it started when I was a child but it's not long ago too as it has still not ended. It’s still relevant”

I inhale a big intake of air after he promises that he won't leave me, I finally tell him what I have hid from him for sixteen years.

"I had a huge crush on you all through my childhood and teenage years. But when I was sixteen I realised that I actually loved you after we did that dare and kissed and got off with each other when we were drunk, but you acted like you forgot. I was going to finally tell you later on when I was seventeen after agonising about it but. . . but you got a girlfriend a few days before I was going to tell you. I was going to surprise you in a cute way but it was too late, so I lied when you finally asked what my surprise was and I told you I had a boyfriend, but I didn't. I. . . I was also a virgin and hadn't ever been with anyone else or had a boyfriend when I met Jimin when I was nineteen. You were the only person I had kissed or had ever done anything sexual with. I stayed with him because I didn't want to ruin our friendship and every time you got a new girlfriend I would just forgive Jimin because it hurt me too much to be left with my thoughts of you being with another woman. I have always felt guilty about it and felt like I was ruining your real chance at love. So I just stayed with Jimin because you kept losing your chance at love because of me being a fucking screw up and I knew you couldn't possibly love someone who looked like me. All of your girlfriends were so beautiful and looked like models, I knew I stood no chance because I'm small, not pretty and dumpy. I'm not them. I also walked in on you having sex with your girlfriend a few days later when I was seventeen and cried for a whole week. I lied and said I had the flu and didn't come to school for a whole week!!"

I stop and it's totally quiet, he doesn't say anything for a few minutes and neither do I.

I'm just waiting for him to walk out on me and tell me he could never love me like that.

"Oh Princess! I'm so sorry!"

He suddenly starts crying again, but he is not just crying he's sobbing.

"I . . Th-That is all my fault!! I . . I listened to a friend who told me to get a girlfriend to try to get over liking you! I didn't like her, I just didn't want to fuck up our friendship. . and. . and he said I had to get over you. Because you clearly weren't interested like that, especially after you didn't acknowledge our drunken dare I thought you didn't remember either! OR that you wanted to forget it! When you lied and said you had a boyfriend, that you had had sex. I was so hurt and in my anger I slept with. . with that g-girl! It was dreadful and I felt awkward doing it with someone I didn't love! WHY? WHY DID YOU LIE?! WHY TORTURE YOURSELF AND STAY WITH JIMIN BECAUSE OF ME!! YOU HURT YOURSELF AND ITS ALL BECAUSE OF ME!!"

He gets louder as he starts to sound almost angry with me.

"I lied because it fucking killed me Jungkook and my friend said that I should really try to get over it and realise that you only loved me as a best friend!! I couldn't understand how we always ended up doing things when we were drunk but acted normal when we weren't! I saw you two all over each other on the bed the day before I told you and lied that I had sex, I went to your house and ran out when I caught you! You must have liked her or you wouldn't have been kissing her like that Jungkook! And you never told me you liked me either and after we kissed that time when we were thirteen too, you also acted like it was a mistake!! And what friend?"

I exclaim back as he is not going to just lay this at my front door!

"It was Hoseok! What does it matter now!"

He scoffs at me and I chuckle sarcastically now, he has to be kidding.

This has to be a cruel joke, Hoseok?

"You do know that Hoseok kept asking me out and I refused him loads of times! I even shouted at him one time that I was already in love with someone else. I got so exasperated with his persistence and even though I didn't admit it he guessed it was you and I just walked off without confirming it! He fucking did that because he was mad that I refused him so many times, I hope you know that! And you had so many girlfriends over the years and kept talking about your great sex life in front of me!! Even before I got with Jimin!! SO WHY THE FUCK WOULD I THINK OTHERWISE JUNGKOOK!!"

I yell at him, sounding exasperated, throwing my arms up.

He looks really shocked at what I just said, then his whole expression darkens and he now looks really angry.

"That piece of shit!! If I ever see him again I'm gonna punch him! After you got that boyfriend I tried to act like a normal friend because I thought you didn't like me either! And I only did that the last three years because Jimin would constantly talk about doing sexual things with you every time he spoke to Taehyung in front of me! Or when I would come over even! And I literally hate fucked those women where I was so mad all the time! I never told any of them that I loved them, I always left them when they tried to tell me to stop talking to YOU! Loads of them demanded that I choose them and I NEVER DID ALICE!! I CHOSE YOU!! I never did because. . . because I. ."

Jungkook is exclaiming really loudly at me before his defeated voice drops off getting quieter.

He sighs, running his hand over his face.

"And do you know I haven't slept with Jimin for about six months! I told him to prove he loved me. And every time he cheated again I barely went near him for ages!! So as you could imagine it was a lot of time with no sex! Because of what Jungkook?”

I’m so exasperated with this whole thing and it shows when I talk.

But when I ask him the last question I go dead still waiting for him to answer, it feels like ages before he finally does answers.

"Because. . Because I love you Alice, I have loved you since we were kids. But I was scared to lose you and I didn't think you wanted me like that. When I kissed you that day when I was thirteen I felt so happy, but I was also scared that you would think it was a mistake and stop being friends with me. I even panicked that night when you slept over, because you almost caught me having a wet dream about you and I thought you heard me! So I joked off the kiss the next day so I wouldn't get hurt or that you would think I was moaning your name because of that! Then as we got older even though our dare's were getting more sexual you always talked about crushes and wanting to get a boyfriend one day, that you would have one who would be your best friend. But I didn't think you meant me, I thought you were going to get a new best friend and forget about me! And my friendship with you was always special to me!"

He pauses his actual rant running his fingers through his hair then he carries on sighing.

"When you got with Jimin and I had to see you kiss him for the first time I was so upset I ran off and I think Jimin saw me and realised that I loved you. That's why he said all those things! He would also start grabbing you and kissing you on purpose to see my reaction, he even used to look right at me or smirk at me. I thought it was because he knew I hated him for cheating on you, but it was to flaunt it in my fucking face! Do you know how that felt, to watch him treat the woman I loved for so long like that! Did you know that I almost left here for a once of a lifetime internship about two years ago, I couldn't watch you two together anymore. But he cheated with Sharmin just before I was going to leave and you were so upset that I couldn't leave you in that state! So I bailed on them and lost the internship! But he would always goad me saying things like you had just had make up sex and was a little sore and horrible things like that! That the neighbours complained last night because of you screaming!! But now I know it was all fucking lies!"

His hands are moving everywhere as he speaks, he looks so frustrated and angry.

I'm about to reply and he starts ranting at me again, unloading everything.

"I feel like I have been fucking stuck in limbo since I was a teenager! Never being able to move on because I can't love anyone else!! It’s like we were in an emotional relationship! There is no one else I can imagine having kids with or marrying, no one else I could ever imagine living with because in my imagination and dreams it's always you!! They are just never you and they never will be you! It's why I always picked women that I wasn't really that attracted to and that looked the furthest thing from what you looked like! I didn't want to feel like I was using them as a replacement or as a substitute! Because no one could ever replace you in my mind!”

He looks really hurt and is just unloading the mother of all rants on me, the pent up energy is just spilling out of him.

“One girl finished with me because I was moaning your name in my sleep and it clearly wasn't a normal dream!! It's no wonder they were always jealous of you, I have pictures of us in my apartment everywhere. I have your clothes in my apartment, your toothbrush, your deodorant, pyjamas, your favourite food, your favourite films even!! I never called them Baby or Princess, they got no pet names! All of my phone is filled with pictures and videos of us together, my phone screen is of one of us together too! My wallpaper on my computer is even of us together!! I finished with a girl once because she threw a picture of us together as kids against a wall in a fit of jealousy and it smashed and she ruined it too! I have only had angry one night stands for eighteen months because I couldn't go through these bullshit lies about liking these women anymore! I lied about having girlfriends to you too!"

He lets out a huge huff of air where he is literally panting from spilling every last piece of frustration from the last sixteen years.

Jungkook stops his angry rant and looks down at me with a horrible hurt look in his eyes, my heart clenches at his pain because it’s my pain too.

His hand tenderly reaches for my face, placing his hand on my cheek, rubbing his thumb against it.

I tenderly place my hand over his and lean into his touch, closing my eyes.

"How dare he hurt my Alice, MY ALICE! I have wanted to beat his ass so many times over the years!! Please never go back to him! I couldn't bear it, not again. I would leave for good, because I just can't handle watching it anymore Alice, it’s been destroying me. Please give me a chance, I would never treat you like that or cheat on you. I meant every word I said Baby, I love you so much. No one will ever love you as much as I love you, I love you so much that it hurts to be apart from you. I love you so much that I stayed because you are my home and my heart, my everything and I would be hollow without you"

Jungkook tells me with tenderness in his voice.

I open my eyes to finally look up at him, he leans in to give me a firm kiss on my forehead, then each cheek, then finally he leaves a lingering chaste kiss on my lips.

When he pulls away his face is still right by mine, my eyes scan his face and he is so beautiful, his dark doe eyes look more hopeful because I didn't stop him from kissing me.

I place my hand in his hair pulling his head back to mine pressing his lips against mine and as soon as his lips part I kiss him with a fervent passion my tongue caressing his, because I'm so hungry for this kiss, I'm finally able to kiss them like I have imagined so many times over the years.

He picks me up so fast making me straddle him, his lips still furiously kissing mine as he groans into my mouth.

Jungkook walks over to the sofa sitting down with me pulling me against his body, his hand moves to my waist and the other winds its fingers into my hair keeping me against his enthusiastic mouth making me whimper into the kiss.

When we pull away he keeps his lips ghosting over mine as we pant from the lack of breath.

"I love you so fucking much Jungkook! I always have and I always will, forevermore. I have never loved anyone else but you, it’s always been you”

I pant as my hot breath falls against his lips.

"My Princess, my Baby, I love you with every single part of my soul. My Alice. My beautiful girl, my best friend, you have never been anyone else’s but mine”

He replies, squeezing me tighter.

========================================

After our big argument we decided to take it slow but we are finally together, we laugh now about how stupid we both were as teenagers.

But we have been having really long deep conversations all the time to get through the hurt we have put each other through.

We both thought it was wise to heal first and not to jump headfirst into a sexual thing yet.

I have some really happy parents right now who told us it was about time we both realised that we loved each other, that it was so obvious to everyone but us.

They are all happy that Jimin is now a thing of the past, that I finally broke it off with him.

They were terrified that I would get pregnant and have him stuck in my life for good.

It's been six weeks since I split from Jimin and he still keeps trying to call me and message me on social media.

I blocked him a few times and he keeps getting new accounts, Jungkook finally texted him and told him to back the hell off.

He wasn't happy with Jungkook and told him to mind his own business.

Every time we see him we walk off in the opposite direction before he can see us.

We have been still taking it slow and I've been back at college for two weeks now, no one has noticed that we’re a couple where we were so close before anyway.

We are liking it that way for now, so there is no pressure from anyone.

People just thought he was being extra cautious and protective with me, so they didn't say anything when he held my hand or fed me food in the cafeteria.

Well they did think that, until Jimin just tried to approach me again today in the cafeteria and Jungkook told him to get away from me.

I can see everyone already whispering and I can see his baby momma watching us with a hurt look on her face, I notice her belly looking bigger than before and her friend is definitely looking pissed.

"What fucking business is it of yours Jungkook! Let me speak to Alice and stop being the pathetic unrequited love disguised as a best friend!!"

Jimin sneers at him loudly before looking back at me, I hear an 'oh shit!' from Taehyung who knows Jungkook is probably going to punch him.

I'm about to stand up to tell him to get lost and to not speak to my boyfriend like that but Jungkook beats me to it.

"Best friend?! You are a little behind on the news Jimin. Ha ha ha!! What you say to MY GIRLFRIEND, very much affects me!"

He replies loudly standing up in his seat pushing his tray away, we hear gasps from people.

"ABOUT TIME!! IT WAS OBVIOUS!!"

Someone yells out, I dart my face to the sound source but I don't see who it is.

"YOU AND HER!! Oh you finally wormed your way in there and took advantage of my little mess! I always knew you wanted to take Alice from me. Do you think I didn't see all your love sick looks and those times you would walk off when I was kissing her! She is definitely on the rebound, how does it feel to be the rebound, poor Jungkookie! How did it feel to watch the girl you loved be kissed by me and to have to listen to her getting fucked by me!!"

He mocks him, sounding really angry and Jungkook jerks towards him where he is about to grab him but Jungkook pauses his head darting to me when I slam my drink down making a mess.

I’m just about ready to upload all of my frustration, anger and trauma on him, I’m ready.

"SHUT UP!! JUST SHUT UP JIMIN!! YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WAS THE STAND IN, THE FUCKING REPLACEMENT! WHERE I COULDN'T HAVE WHO I REALLY LOVED!! YOU COULDN'T HOLD A CANDLE TO JUNGKOOK! HE AND I HAVE BASICALLY BEEN IN AN EMOTIONAL RELATIONSHIP FOR SIXTEEN YEARS AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE!! BUT WE WERE TOO STUPID TO ADMIT WE HAVE LOVED EACH OTHER SINCE WE WERE CHILDREN!! HE WAS WHO I THOUGHT ABOUT WHEN I DREAMED, WHO I THOUGHT ABOUT WHENEVER I DID HAVE SEX WITH YOU, WHICH WAS RARELY DUE TO YOU CHEATING SO MUCH! WHO I DREAMED ABOUT MARRYING!! DON'T YOU REALISE THAT I HAVE NEVER SAID I LOVED YOU TO YOU, NOT ONCE! DID YOU NEVER NOTICE THAT I ONLY EVER REPLIED ME TOO! NOT THAT YOU HAVE EVER LOVED ME ANYWAY! BUT I ALWAYS TOLD JUNGKOOK THAT I LOVED HIM! AND EVEN IF HE DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS IN A ROMANTIC WAY, IT WAS!! HE IS A THOUSAND TIMES THE MAN YOU ARE!! HOW DOES IT FEEL TO KNOW I LOVED ANOTHER MAN THE WHOLE TIME I WAS WITH YOU!”

I’m shouting so loud that I’m surprised the college security hasn’t come yet.

I hear someone suddenly yell out.

"YES SAVAGE!! Tell him Alice! He damn well deserves it!! He is the ultimate piece of shit!!"

I look and see that it's my old friend Yoongi who grins at me, he hates Jimin and punched him really hard once.

Jungkook is smiling at me, I can tell that he is really proud of me.

"HOW MUCH OF A BASTARD ARE YOU THAT YOUR BABY MOMMA FIANCÉE IS OVER THERE, AND YOU ARE TRYING TO GET ME BACK!! WHY??? JUST SO YOU CAN TELL ME HOW FUCKING FAT I AM OR HOW I AM SOOOO DAMN LUCKY TO BE WITH YOU?? WHY?? SO YOU CAN TREAT ME LIKE SHIT AND CHEAT!! OR WAS IT JUST SO YOU COULD RUB IT IN JUNGKOOK'S FACE?! YOU KNEW HE LOVED ME AND THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY TO MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE ACTUALLY LEAVING! SO HE DIDN'T HAVE TO WATCH YOU TEARING ME DOWN AND MAKING ME LOSE WHO I WAS!! YOU MADE ME LOSE ALL OF MY FRIENDS BECAUSE OF YOUR CHEATING! SLEPT WITH MY FRIENDS!! AND STILL TRIED TO TAKE THE ONLY ONE I HAD LEFT BY TRYING TO PUSH HIM TO LEAVE TOO!!"

I shout so loud that everyone is most definitely listening.

"Tell him Baby! Unload it all!"

Jungkook grins at me.

"I WILL SAY THIS ONLY ONCE!! YOUR SEX WASN'T SHIT COMPARED TO JUNGKOOK'S AND YOU DON'T EVEN COMPARE IN SIZE! HA HA!! YOU COULDN'T EVEN GET ME OFF SO I HAD TO THINK ABOUT JUNGKOOK EVERY TIME! I WAS ONLY WITH YOU TO TRY TO FORGET ABOUT JUNGKOOK! SO FUCK OFF AND DON'T TALK TO ME AGAIN! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR BULLSHIT AND I FEEL SORRY FOR CANDICE HAVING TO PUT UP WITH YOUR TOXIC CRAP FOREVER!! I HATE YOU WITH A PASSION AND WOULDN'T CARE IF I EVER SAW YOU AGAIN! I WASTED THREE YEARS OF MY LIFE ON YOU AND I CAN NEVER GET THEM BACK! WHY WOULD I WANT TO SPEND ANOTHER THREE SECONDS MORE LISTENING TO YOUR RIDICULOUS RUBBISH! NOW LEAVE BEFORE I LET MY BOYFRIEND BEAT YOUR ASS LIKE HE HAS BEEN DYING TO DO FOR THREE YEARS!!"

I sneer at him panting from my insane rant and I move to Jungkook who looks really proud of me for standing up for myself against Jimin finally and for what I just said.

He smirks and kisses me like he misses me and I don't care, I let him.

"WOO HOO!! THAT IS THE ALICE I MISSED!"

My friend Yoongi shouts out and Namjoon hollers out too whooping, I lost both of them due to Jimin.

My old friend Denise even whistles at us because she found out exactly what Jimin was like first hand too.

Taehyung even shouts out loudly.

"ABOUT DAMN TIME JUNGKOOK! I WAS LOSING HOPE THAT ALIKOOK WAS EVER GONNA BE A REALITY!"

Jimin scoffs at us and finally marches away, my whole body goes pliant in Jungkook’s arms as I relax finally.

"I'm so fucking proud of you my Princess! My sex is much better huh, how do you know Baby? Or is that the sex you had in your dreams or imagination when you needed to get off? Hmm I like thinking that you were imagining me and I might have been imagining you at the same time"

He groans in my ear, oh he likes that I thought about him every time or had to use him to get off.

We haven't had sex yet, just a little light foreplay until we both feel ready, as we are both still healing from years of suffering and trauma we put ourselves through.

"I know. But I couldn't have him mock you Kookie! I was about to punch him and I had to give him the cold hard truth. The way he talked to you was vile, I wasn’t having it, not anymore. That was the only part I lied about though Kookie! As your dick is almost twice the size of his! THAT I didn't lie about!"

I giggle when he pecks all over my face.

"You two! Is this what I'm going to have to put up with every time I'm at Kook's now?!"

Taehyung shouts out groaning and I look to see everyone staring at our PDA, we cough and he pulls me to his lap and we sit down chuckling as we eat our dinner in peace.

Yoongi congratulates us as he walks to class with us and Namjoon said that he's proud of whoever went for it and confessed.

He was shocked when I put my hand up saying it was me, but he says he's damn proud patting my head.

Tells me that I’m glowing and look so much happier now, that he’s so happy for us.

Yoongi tells me that he is so glad that I’m finally free from that bullshit and Candice did me a favour.

Denise messaged me on Instagram telling me that she was sorry about what happened between us and that she is actually glad that I'm finally away from Jimin.

That he is one manipulative, toxic man.

That she was happy that I finally got with Jungkook after all those years of pining, she of course knew because I told her in high school.

But she said it was so obvious over the years that we still loved each other.

I feel so damn amazing, I have had friends talk to me again for the first time in a year and I just told Jimin where to go.

AND I finally told him the cold hard truth!

Truths I couldn't admit to even myself before and now I'm brave enough to scream them at Jimin in the cafeteria in front of everyone.

I've finally broken the chain of toxicity and distrust, I'm utterly free.

And when I look up at Jungkook I couldn't be happier, I'm finally where I was supposed to be all along, with my heart, my soulmate, my person, my Jungkook, my love, my everything.

=======================================

©️ Bangtans Momma.

Please do not translate, copy, steal or repost my stories as your own, or any part of my story as your own either.

Do not feed any part of my stories into any AI software either.

Sharing the link or re-blogging is perfectly fine of course.

=======================================

He is so damn adorable sometimes 🥰

231103 - jungkook on spotify (2)

Oh my god! I love this! 👏🏻

A perfect Halloween story!

Bump In The Night | MYG

▻ Bump In The Night ↳ Bogeyman!Yoongi x f.Reader ⤜ Horror/Thriller/Demon, Nyctophobia ⤜ Monster Under The Bed AU | angst, smut ⤜ Rating: MA ⤜ WC: 12,395 ⤜ Summary: The dark can be scary; full of strange, unseen things. Just when you think you’ve got a handle on your fear, the lights go out, and you face the reality that you were always right—you should fear the dark and especially what’s waiting in it. ⚠️ Crass language, fear, inciting fright, playing on emotions, teasing, kissing, fingering, biting/marking, dom tones, begging, choking, panic, unprotected v. sex, feeding on fear, dark thoughts, revealed dark intentions, predator/prey tones, chasing, claiming, serpentine tongue, oral f.receiving, monster cock/sex, metamorphosis

Written for the BTS Fantasy and Fangs Halloween collab for @minisugakoobies A/N: Sunny, I hope you enjoy this as much as I did while writing it. Happy belated birthday and hope you have a pleasant spooky holiday full of Bogeyman Yoongi delight!

A special thank you to @star-my @hisunshiine and @downbad4yoongi for their amazing beta services!

Can also be found on: Ao3 | Wattpad

Beg For It

Nyctophobia [ nik-tuh-foh-bee-uh ] - noun Psychiatry: extreme or irrational fear of the night or of darkness.

One…

Two…

Three…

Breathe. Another few seconds, that’s all you want; just precious moments to prove yourself.

Four…

Five…

Six…

Cold chills slither down your spine despite the hot water beating against your back. Your fingers work vigorously against your cheeks and along your forehead. What feels like a thousand pounds settles along your lashes, even though you know it’s nothing more than marshmallowy-light foam.

Seven…

Eight…

Nin—

You spin around, nearly losing your footing in the shower as you angle your face under the spray from the showerhead. The heels of your palms press against your lids as you try to rid them of the foamy facial cleanser.

Air wheezes into your lungs, stray drops of water sucking between your parted lips as you try to breathe against the panic building in your chest. Jerking back from the spray, you open your eyes, wincing at the sting from the water-mixed-with-cleanser that drips from your lashes and floods the corners.

Nothing. There’s nothing there. All you see is the steam-filled space of your shower, water pelting down at your feet, a smattering of bottles arranged on the lip of the tub, and the inside of your plain shower curtain.

You sigh, irritation itching in your chest. Not even nine seconds. You were trying for at least ten. It never fails to leave a bitter taste in your mouth whenever you can’t seem to get a grip on yourself. It’s just the dark. Hell, it’s not even really the dark. It’s just having your eyes closed against the bright fluorescent lights of your bathroom; a pseudo-darkness.

The unease in your stomach refuses to dissipate as you turn off the shower, step out, wrap yourself in a towel, and go through the routine of brushing your teeth and massaging moisturizer into your skin. You hang up your damp towel, quickly pulling on the oversized t-shirt and shorts you intend to sleep in.

Steam clouds the mirror. You don’t typically care to wipe it away, not anymore. It’s one of your small, personal victories—one you intentionally remind yourself of now after your panicked stint in the shower. It used to be that you couldn’t stand not being able to see the space behind you through the reflective surface. Knowing if something lurked outside your line of sight, it couldn’t hide from being exposed through the mirror. Being able to see behind you was all that mattered. Now, you take pride in not needing to see…yet, the niggling in the back of your head won’t cease. So, you swipe a hand, collecting tiny beads of moisture on your palm as you go.

You’re unsure why the act makes your heart beat a little harder. It’s supposed to elicit the calm you so desperately need. But, once you’ve slashed a clear path across the mirror, your brow furrows as you lean in closer to it. Cold dread thunders through your veins as you jerk back, spinning on your heel to make sure what you saw through the mirror wasn’t just your mind playing a trick on you.

Nope, not a trick or even a figment of your imagination…unfortunately.

You stare in paranoid disbelief at the slender gap along the bottom of the bathroom door. The door that leads into your bedroom where you are absolutely, without a doubt, positive you left your bedside lamp on. The gap is dark, like a void threatening to suck you right into an endless nightmare of unrelenting terror. All that’s missing is a gaunt, skeletal hand sliding its too-long fingers under the door.

Shoving away those intrusive thoughts before they can take root and further fester like a dirty wound on your sanity, you try to think logically. It’s possible the bulb in your lamp could have blown, but you know you replaced it just last month. It’s far too soon for it to blow on its own, and surely, it’s not a faulty bulb. So, why is it out? Were you careless and, in truth, didn’t turn it on? A manic laugh gets caught in your throat as you silently berate yourself. That must be it. You simply forgot. So careless.

Fear is an acrid taste on your tongue as you slowly approach the door. You hate this feeling. Even though you tell yourself there’s nothing out there lurking in the dark to harm you, you simply forgot to leave the light on. The distress doesn’t subside—and it won’t. At least, not until you open the door and prove the dark to harbor no ill intent toward you.

Squaring your shoulders and taking what is supposed to be a calming and fortifying breath, though it feels more like sand slipping into your lungs, you wrap your fingers firmly around the brushed nickel handle. The metal is warm, slightly wet from the condensation formed during your shower, against your palm as you twist it.

You lick your trembling lips, taking one more moment to center yourself. Your eyes slide closed as you mentally recall the layout of your room, calculating how many steps there are to get to the nearest light switch. Your bed is angled so the foot faces the bathroom door, and the closet door to the left near the two windows you know are closed tight with the curtains drawn. The bedroom door is easily the furthest from the bathroom, leaving the overhead light out of the question. You knew, before you even began to analyze, that the bedside lamp you recall yourself leaving on is going to be the closest light source. Still, you needed to go through the motion of solidifying that information in your mind.

As you haltingly push it open, the quiet creak of the door, which sounds deafening in the silence of the bathroom, causes chills to pop up along your arms and the hairs at the nape of your neck to stand on end. Darkness ebbs as the light from the bathroom bleeds across the hardwood of your bedroom floor, slowly revealing the interior of your room.

Your heart lurches, and a scream rips from your chest when you see a dark figure sitting at the end of your bed come into focus as the bathroom door swings further open, the handle barely held in your now numb fingers. Panic barrels through you. Your muscles react instinctively, fingers tightening around the knob as you jerk back, the door closing with a harsh bang as you backpedal across the bathroom.

“Babe,” calls a playful voice from just on the other side of the door. You can barely hear it over the roaring in your ears. Nausea threatens to double you over, even as relief floods your system—such conflicting emotions that you feel suddenly off-kilter. 

There is a fine sheen of cold sweat clinging to your neck. Your hands fist into the front of your shirt as the door eases open to reveal your boyfriend standing at the threshold. His dark ensemble makes it seem like the bathroom's light bends around his form, not daring to touch him.

You’ve never liked it when someone intentionally scares you, claiming it’s a joke. It always seems more like a cruel prank than a laughing matter. Though, you note, no one is laughing right now either way. He doesn’t look smug or self-satisfied for having scared you, just simply mildly amused.

“You scared me, Yoongi,” you state flatly, crossing your arms over your chest, hoping he picks up on your discomfort.

The corners of his lips turn down, and his brow furrows as he gives you an exaggerated pout. Even with your pounding heart and the upside down in your belly, you can’t help but appreciate how cute he is when he does that. “I know. I just didn’t see the point in wasting the power if you weren’t going to be in there.” He gestures vaguely behind him to your room, which is barely lit by the light pouring out of the bathroom.

It’s on the tip of your tongue to remind him that even though you weren’t in there, he was. Though, for some reason, Yoongi sitting in the dark doesn’t strike you as out of place. In the five years you’ve been together, you’ve learned to love his odd quirks just as much as any other part of him. He’s genuine, a caring person who isn’t afraid to be vulnerable—a far cry from anyone else you’ve ever given your time to.

“How was work?” you ask, aiming to get back on track with some semblance of normalcy—anything to not dwell on the lingering discomfort that’s still beating away in your chest.

His shoulders hitch up in a nonchalant manner. “Same as always. There’s been a big break in the Hunt case. Director Park thinks we’ll have the code cracked in a few more days. I say by tomorrow night, tops, just in time for our date. It’ll be a reward for my hard work,” his eyes twinkle with mirth. “After all, I think Samhain is a pretty fitting day for dealing with evil, huh?”

You make a noncommittal sound at that last part. Yoongi might enjoy that thought, but to you, tomorrow is more so just a day…simply October 31st and is more about plastic pumpkins, like the ones you have sitting on your front porch, than dealing with evil like that. The fact that Yoongi has convinced you to go to a festival tomorrow night is so wild you’ve been forcing yourself not to think about it.

“Well, I’d put my money on you over Director Park any day,” you say instead, giving him a soft, knowing smile. Yoongi has a penchant for estimations. If he thinks it’ll only take another day to crack a code that’s been wreaking havoc on Interpol for the better part of a year, then you believe him. You don’t pretend to understand all the intricacies of what he does; just know he’s really good with computers and helps whichever government agency needs it most or something like that.

Yoongi gives you a lazy smile in return. “Mmm, that’s what I like to hear. Your confidence in me is like kindling for my fervor,” he croons, wrapping you up in his arms. It feels good to relax in his embrace, the last vestiges of your earlier panic melting away as you soak in his warmth and familiarity. “Sorry I scared you,” he murmurs into your damp hair. “Let me make it up to you.”

“What did you have in mind?” you ask, laughing softly when his fingers slip under the hem of your shirt and teasingly caress your sides—the touch is light, making your skin tighten and prickle in response.

A rumbling groan vibrates through Yoongi’s chest as he playfully nips along your jaw before planting his lips firmly over yours in a dizzying and claiming way. “We’ll start with kissing,” the words are whispered between plucks of his mouth against yours, tongue swiping sensually across your bottom lip.

“Kissing is good,” you agree, smiling against his mouth before melting into another heated tangle of tongues and stilted breaths. That fist around your heart eases, letting your chest expand fully for the first time since before you showered.

“Biting,” he murmurs, pulling away from the kiss to bury his face in your neck. The light pressure of his teeth pressing against your skin has your toes curling against the cold tile floor and your fingers fisting into the front of his shirt.

Yoongi plants his mouth right over your pulse point, his tongue flicking over your throbbing vein as his teeth clamp down gently. You swallow hard against the sensation, your heart shifting gears to thud fast in your chest for a different reason. It’s not necessarily fear that drives your senses higher now so much as it is anticipation and an increase in adrenaline—terror adjacent, something you prefer much more to the former.

You shudder against him, knees going weak as he moans, the sound sending pulsing shocks of vibrations down your spine with how his mouth fits against your neck. His fingers ghost along your shorts before finally pushing past the elastic band. The palms of his hands are warm as they slide around and grip handfuls of your ass.

Using his hold on you, Yoongi lifts you up onto the counter beside the sink. As his hands retreat, they tug your shorts with them, working them around the curve of your ass until they’re caught at your knees. You let him push them further until they slacken and fall to catch around your ankles, then onto the floor. Wincing slightly at how cold the counter is against your bare skin, you urge him to fill the space between your thighs, seeking his warmth flush against you once again.

“Yoongi,” you hiss, sucking in a sharp breath as he slides a hand between your bodies and presses the flat of his fingers against your pussy. You don’t need to look in the mirror to know his teeth have left an impression on your neck. He leans back and licks his lips in a show of appreciation, lidded eyes full of mischief and barely veiled lust. “Please.” It comes out warbled as he teases his middle finger between your lower lips.

“Beg for it,” he says. “Show me how much you want me to make you forget about the darkness.” His voice has an edge, like he’s teasing at something, but it’s lost on you to piece together what it might be.

Sucking in a deep breath, you repeat your plea, “Please.”

Your chest is rising and falling rapidly, and you can feel your erratic heartbeat pounding between your legs and under the sensitive skin of your neck that Yoongi ravaged with his teeth. Lightheadedness kisses the edges of your clarity, daring you to get lost in the delirium that Yoongi is offering.

“You can do better than that,” Yoongi taunts, his laugh low and husky as he pulls away, leaving you bereft of his touch where you want it most. “Beg. For. It.” The words are clipped, punctuated with staccato taps of his middle finger against your sensitive clit.

“Fuck—Yoongi, please! Please, I need you!”

“That’s my girl,” Yoongi smiles wickedly. Two slender fingers sliding into your wet heat are your reward. “You’re so wet already. Look at how your body is pulling me in. Fuck, that’s nice.” He angles himself so you can both look down and watch his fingers slowly pull out, glistening with your arousal before sinking back in.

Your body squeezes around his fingers, walls fluttering in anticipation and building pleasure. “Need you,” you mumble, grabbing at the button on the front of his dark wash jeans with one hand and tugging at the bottom of his black t-shirt with the other. “Fuck me, Yoongi, please. Please, fuck me. I need you to make me forget.”

A flurry of motion accompanies his answering growl of approval as he helps you strip him out of his clothes and the rest of your own. You barely feel the absence of his fingers in your cunt before he pulls your ass to the edge of the counter and shoves his cock inside with a guttural moan that echoes in the small space.

The fit of him inside your body is deliciously perfect, like he was made to please you. Your fingers press dents into his shoulders as you grip him tightly. One of his hands squeezes your hip to keep you from slipping off the counter while the other finds its way to having a light grip on your throat.

His forehead rests against yours, the back of your head pressed against the mirror behind you. The angle makes his thrusts shallow, forcing the crown of his cock to rock against a sensitive spot deep inside that has you seeing spots behind your closed lids.

Yoongi has always been a contrasting lover, hot and cold, in a way that always leaves you breathless and assuaged. The look on his face says he’s fucking you, but the sensual roll of his hips says he’s making love to you—the hand on your throat says he just wants to control you. Regardless of how he fucks, it always consumes you. From the first time to now, he wholly and utterly devours your sanity and spits it back at you two-fold. He brings you palpable lucidity while also destroying all sense of right and wrong. Some call it morally grey; you call it just another titillating facet of who he is.

Pleasure builds fast, and you know you’re about to tip over the edge when the pressure of his hand on your throat increases. It’s an infinitesimal change, but it feels like the tightening of a vice all the same.

The erratic beat of your heart stutters further, swallowing you down into a thick-headed spiral of trepidation. You know Yoongi won’t hurt you. It’s not that—not quite. It’s the idea and knowledge that he could. It’s a taboo feeling, craving that helpless flutter deep in your belly that dares you to indulge in the darkness instead of running from it.

Yoongi’s hips continue to roll against you, your body pinned in place by his hand on your throat. Your eyes flutter open just to fall shut again as the hand on your hip moves until his thumb presses against your clit, making your body jerk and hurtle back toward the precipice of pleasure from before.

With his thumb pressed against one throbbing artery in your neck and the pads of his fingers against the twin on the other side, he has complete and utter control over you. All it takes is another barely-there squeeze to have you changing your grip from his shoulders to his forearm.

The bitter taste of cowardice laces together with the cloyingly sweet, carnal flavor of lust that’s coating your insides. Yoongi rumbles, a moan low in his chest. The rhythm of his hips kicks up until they’re hammering against yours to the point that measures of pain mix with the terror, forming into a rapture of exhilaration. His thumb coaxes your orgasm through precise flicks over your swollen clit.

You can’t help the sound that rips from your throat, squeezing past his grip in a ragged mockery of a moan—bright colors spiderweb across the backs of your closed lids as you sip from his chalice of wickedness. White noise joins the rush of blood in your ears as somewhere in the deep recesses of your mind, alarm begins to bleed into the hazy euphoria clouding your head. “Yes!” Yoongi groans. “That’s it, fuck!”

“Y-yoon—“ you try to choke out his name, fingers trembling from their tight grip on his forearm. Just as you’re about to try and shove him away to get a reprieve, his hand loosens its hold on your throat, and the instant rush of oxygen to your brain washes away all other thoughts as your body surrenders once again to his dominion. The orgasm tears through you, sweeping you out in a hedonistic riptide. Your walls clamp around his cock so hard he snarls and shudders with the trigger of his own release.

You must have blacked out from the overwhelming cascade that besieged your senses because the next thing you’re aware of is Yoongi tucking you into bed beside him. The sheets are cool against your heated skin, a welcome lull of relief. He presses into your sated body, chest against your back and arm possessively curling over your hip. “Get some sleep, my queen,” he murmurs. “I’ll hold the darkness back.”

The room is dark, just as it was earlier when you panicked. But, just as always, when Yoongi is around, it’s less frightening…seemingly somehow less dark and foreboding. He might have darker desires when it comes to pleasure, but right now, he’s the light that chases away your other demons.

🖤🖤🖤

Yoongi

The taste of your fear still lingers in the back of Yoongi’s throat as he pretends to sleep curled around you. He knew turning off your bedroom light would scare you. It’s why he did it. The peckish feeling that rumbled in the pit of his stomach drove him to want to play with you. Your fear instantly sated his hunger, and it made his dick hard when you screamed. You scream so prettily he just can’t help that natural, primal response. 

That is, after all, precisely why he chose you. Everything about you speaks to his needs, promising sweet and succulent fruit that’s always ripe for plucking.

He learned early on that if he could elevate your heart rate and incite a sliver of fear in you while fucking you…well, his full belly is testament enough to how much he loves that. You call it a kink, he calls it dessert. It wasn’t his intention to fuck you after he frightened you, but the irritating erection grating along his zipper had other plans. 

His mortal form isn’t his favorite. It’s far too small and has far too many baser needs and limitations. Though he does enjoy the feel of your soft, pliant flesh under his—especially when you’re ripe with the sweet smell of terror—it makes it worth the discomfort this inferior mode has.

It’s not lost on Yoongi that he could have ruined you from the start by taking too much from you. But he’s been careful over the years, molding and training your body to be the perfect vessel for him to feed from. The fact you were already experiencing high anxiety and an innate fear of the dark prior to him coming into your life helped tremendously. Nyctophobia is such a beautiful thing.

You claim he’s helped you, for the most part, get over your fears. However, he knows this is just a lie you tell him and yourself to make yourself feel and seem braver. He knows the truth, though. There is no getting over your fear, not when it lives with you…sleeps next to you, touches you, fucks you. He’s everything you’re scared of, everything you think is creeping around in the dark, waiting to pounce. He’s your worst nightmare…literally as much as figuratively—and you have absolutely no inkling of that truth. All you see is what he lets you see: just a sweet guy with a penchant for darker tastes behind closed doors.

To you, he’s just Yoongi. But he has had many names over the centuries: Demon, Baba Yaga, El Coco, Butzemann, Tikoloshe, Bogeyman, and so on. All of them are generally the same, but none are quite right. He is all these things, and yet none of these things—he’s so much more.

It’s a common misconception that he only targets people who do misdeeds. That’s not it at all, for the sweetest fruit is the unwary, the innocent, the vulnerable, and the scared. That is the pinnacle of his desire, the unctuous delight that feeds his depravity and gives him power over the darkness—darkness that calls to him now.

Being careful not to wake you, Yoongi slips out from around your soft, lush body. Feeding on your fear in the bathroom drained some of your vitality, lowering your constitution, and the best recovery for that is a good, uninterrupted eight hours. So, he’ll leave you to replenish so that he may feast once again—one last time before he executes his final, ultimate plan; the whole reason he chose you to begin with and has been periodically parading around in this limited meat suit for years.

The maw of darkness under your bed beckons him to shake off the mortal form and take his rightful place as King among the shadows. Yoongi catches his reflection in the standing mirror across the room. The only thing distinct is the brilliant red eyes staring back at him. It feels good to stretch and dissolve into his proper form, shadows snaking along his limbs and filling his every breath.

You fidget on the bed, brow furrowing as your body reacts to the nearness of his proper form. He likes watching you twitch and shift, soft mewls of fright sounding low in your chest. If he wanted, he could swallow you whole, and you’d never be the wiser, one moment existing in your nightmare and the next slithering into the ether of what comes after. But, it’s not time…not yet.

Letting one of his long, spindly shadow fingers draw back in and reform into the echo of human flesh, he presses the blunt tip against your temple. You instantly quell your movements, and the pitiful cry in your chest subsides. Yoongi can feel the subtle tremble of your body, the vibrations skittering through your flesh as your body recognizes his hellish touch. Your subconscious is as familiar with his umbral form as your conscious is with the lies he’s used to frame how you see him with your eyes.

Digging through the screen of your nightmare, he pulls back the darkness and lets in just enough light to lull you into a false sense of security—something he does nearly every night after he’s fed from you so he doesn’t accidentally drain you dry. By the time he returns, the light will have faded from your dreams, and there will be just enough unfettered distress permeating the air of your bedroom to give him a top off of delicious fear, his own personal cup of pick-me-up.

Yoongi slides under the bed and into the darkness, leaving you to your deep, lambent dreams. He melts through the barrier between your world and his. Euphoria buzzes through him as his depth of power increases. That’s the biggest downfall of walking the mortal plane. There aren’t quite enough shadows or stinking fear to fill the neverending void inside him. But here, in the Realm of Darkness, the taste of terror is thick and nectarous. It lingers in the air and is as permanent as the oxygen you breathe in your world.

Yoongi drifts through the firmament of his domain, letting the worries and stress of what’s to come fade. For a being with endless power and control, he never thought he might have the need to be concerned over something seemingly so trivial. But, the ceremony and ritual he has planned for tomorrow night is easily the most critical thing he’s ever dared to accomplish.

The Realm of Darkness might be sufficiently filled with succulent fodder for him, but there are other limitations he encounters. Constraints that involve the worlds beyond his Kingdom. He doesn’t want just to be able to thrive here on his own turf. He has aspirations of letting his darkness seep into the outer realms—including yours—and if he has his way, you will help him do just that. The barriers will crumble, and he’ll be free to bathe the distant realms in his thick ichor of destruction.

Finally feeling more like himself, he aims for the Shadow Spire, where waits the Throne of the Damned—his throne. All it takes is a simple thought, and he’s standing in the sprawling cavern of the throne room. It stretches wide in all directions, having no end or beginning, just existing as his will needs.

Pillars of malachite soar into the air at equal intervals, disappearing into the glittering cosmos expanse above his head. Silvery flecks of light cast the whole room in a mockery of the night sky of your world, something he’s grown to admire over the years spent there. Yoongi takes a deep breath, soaking in the tangy, bitter stench of brimstone and copper. Soon, he hopes, your delectable perfume of fear will join them.

“Sire,” a gruff voice says in surprise. “We weren’t expecting you back until the ritual. Welcome, is there anything we can do for you?”

Yoongi settles his shadowy form on the monstrous broken stone pillar at the top of the dais that rises from the rocky floor. His court, ever vigilant in their duty to him, wait for him to respond. “Is everything prepared for the ceremony?” he asks, eyes finally landing on the six figures seated on the smaller stone plinths arrayed in a semi-circle in front of him—the Shadow Court once again complete with his return. Hopefully, he won’t have to leave the comfort of his court but one more time. Once the ritual is done, he shouldn’t have to so much as lift a finger to reach into the overworld.

“All is well and ready, Sire.” Wicked smiles spread like wildfire across the court. They’re just as excited as Yoongi is to be finally moving forward with the plan. None of them have tasted the kind of fear that Yoongi has feasted on from you—the fresh terror of the mortal realm—but if they had more corporeal forms, he knows they’d be salivating. Soon, so very soon.

Looking around at his companions, he can’t help but think how humorous it is that you so readily believed his deceptions about working for the human government. He remembers the day he finally stepped from the shadows and made himself known to you. You were immediately drawn to him and couldn't stop yourself from indulging in your curiosities like a moth drawn to a flame.

Yoongi had already come up with an elaborate backstory and characterization for the human he wanted to portray. He knew all of your deep, dark fantasies and brought them to life. Your eyes got round with awe and reverence when he first revealed his supposed job, confirming how gullible and under his spell you were. He can’t deny it’s worked in his favor.

He’s allowed to keep odd hours and disappear as needed. When he returns to your bed before the sun rises, he’ll leave you a note on your pillow about being pulled away for work. You’ll read it and sigh a dreamy sigh as you have every other time he’s done that. You never bother to seek further explanation—your trust in him is so wholly concrete.

There is satisfaction in the freedom you’ve granted him to embrace a darker side. It’s how he can get away with fucking you so callously that your brain warps it into some deranged form of love. You’ve chalked every depraved thing he’s done to you up to him needing an outlet after dealing with such heinous stuff for work. He only had to mention a few well-known acronyms, like FBI and CIA, and you accepted it. As scared as you are of the dark, he’s aware of the collection of slasher and horror novels you keep stuffed away under your bed and that you listen with rapt attention to those silly crime shows and podcasts that tell you he’s not the one you should be scared of. Soon, he won’t have to worry about any of that, though—no more silly backstory, no more hiding, no more stuffy mortal form, no more holding back. Tomorrow signifies a change, a new beginning. It’s the time when the veil between the worlds will be thin enough that he can drag you down without it sucking your life away. Some call it Samhain, Calan Gaeaf, Mischief Night, Halloween—it holds nearly as many names as Yoongi himself does—but for him, it will be the night he calls triumph. The night his shadows will lay a claim to you wholly; the night you stop fearing what goes bump in the night and instead stand by its side and let it consume you.

Wicked Delight

Consciousness comes in fits and spurts of clarity. There is a moment where you’re asleep but aware. With this awareness, you can discern and feel the potent darkness webbing across your subconscious. You’ve seen it before, the myriad of inky tendrils that zig-zag through the light like fissures over a dried river bed. It scares you but also fills you with intrigue so rich it nearly eclipses the fear.

You know that if you could just hang on to that in-between space, the feeling of teetering on the edge of a knife, you could examine the darkness further and figure out what it is and where it comes from. But your body has other plans, sucking you away from your inspection and pushing you toward uneasy wakefulness.

Shifting under the blankets, a crinkling noise draws your eyes open to land on a rumple of white paper lying beside you on the empty side of the bed. With fumbling fingers, you grab the ripped leaf of creamy parchment and turn it so you can see the blue scrawl of words.

Got some darkness to take care of. Can’t wait to see you tonight. Don’t forget; 11 pm sharp, beginning of the corn maze. X

There is no name signed to the note, just an X, but you know who left it, regardless. You roll over, holding the thin paper above you so you can see the faded, faint print under his ink. A smile tugs at your lips when you realize it’s a corner ripped from Kinder und Hausmärchen, one of Yoongi’s favorite books. He has an original first edition that he’s let you moon over a few times. The first time you found a note and saw what it was written on, you nearly crawled out of your skin to berate him for ruining such a prize. He gently chided you for your reaction and assured you it was just a copy, scanned and printed for the whimsy of it.

Looking closer, you see the corner is from a page of the Cat and Mouse in Partnership tale. Your smile fades, turning into a mild frown as an odd feeling ghosts beneath your skin, eliciting goosebumps to pop up along your arms. Sighing, you shake your head and pull the blanket up high under your chin, chalking the sensation up to being cold. Your eyes rove around the room, taking in the early morning light filtering in through your thin curtains, showing you just enough of the inside of your room to be comfortable with not having a light on.

Finally deciding there’s no point in dallying in bed further, you toss back the covers and brace yourself against the chill in your room. Only, it’s not as cold as you were anticipating. Opening the small drawer on your nightstand to deposit the message in with the dozens of others Yoongi has left you over the years, you can help but smile. They’re sweet, little pieces of him that affirm to you why it’s okay he disappears the way he does. The reminder comforts you, especially on this day.

Halloween has never been your favorite. Well, that’s not true, exactly. You do like Halloween—just the modern and more mainstream version with candy, pumpkins, and warm, spiced drinks. Fall colors are also something you enjoy. The cooler air is nice. You’re partial to cozy sweaters and boots, too.

All in all, you enjoy this time of the year. You just don’t necessarily like the darker parts, the scarier parts. Haunted houses and scary movies are things you could do without unless it’s under very specific circumstances. Such as having Yoongi there. Which is the only reason you’ve agreed to meet him at the festival tonight. You haven’t been since you were a teen and got so scared by the fright actors that you swore never to return.

Except, now, you are returning. It’s been on the tip of your tongue for the last week to cancel on Yoongi, feigning a head or stomach ache. But, the sheer excitement in his gaze when you agreed, has been enough to make you bite your tongue every time a protest bubbles up. You can—and will—do this.

With an entire day to go before your date with Yoongi, you busy yourself with mundane tasks. A bit of cleaning, some light reading, and lastly, dumping a few bags of assorted and prepackaged candies into a bright orange bowl with a goofy jack-o-lantern face printed on the side.

You’re usually a porchlight-off kind of person. Still, this year, considering your own venture outside your proverbial Halloween box, you decided why not go the extra mile for others, too? Even if one kid dumps the entire bowl into their treat bag, you’ll at least feel somewhat accomplished in your attempt.

Setting the bowl on your doorstep, you stand back and survey it. The yellow-tinged porch light illuminates the candy and the plastic pumpkins you have arranged on either side of your door. You contemplate adding a ‘please take only one’ sign for the bowl but decide a paper warning isn’t much of a deterrent. Leaving the candy to its fate, you head back inside to finish getting ready.

Time flows in a weird, out-of-body kind of way. You’re aware of pulling on your coat and walking into your garage through the kitchen—even the process of driving to the festival registers in your mind. But, you’re genuinely not cognisant of what you’re doing until you’re staring at the large flashing sign for the festival. You have to practically put on blinders to make it through the ticketing process, ignoring the scare actors as you wait in line.

The corn maze is at the center of it all, meaning you keep your eyes glued to the ground as you skirt the edges of the food stalls and game stands until you reach it. There, you wait, standing at the start of the corn maze and stare at your watch, counting the seconds as they tick by with the small hand.

The air is cool, the crisp scent of fall heavy around you. Laughter and faint screams carry to you from the festival surrounding the maze. The giant corn labyrinth is the center of the entire two-week-long event. Thousands of people flock from near and far to venture within the husked, cream-colored stalks.

If you make it through the maze without assistance from the scare actors, then you get an entire bucket of caramel popcorn drizzled with chocolate. That’s never been enough of a reward for you to try. Even the last time you were here, you never stepped foot into the clustered embrace of the maze.

The festival is lit enough with all the twinkling lights and fair games lining the thoroughfares and the midway. Food trucks and stalls litter through the vendors with stuffed animals and cackling clowns. You try to ignore the bodies that sway and shamble through the crowd—the scare actors. They’re just people dressed up in costume and makeup, but they still elicit that flighty feeling in your belly, that little trickle of fear.

At the ticket booths, there were neon green necklaces you could purchase. You used them as a distraction while you waited in line. They’re ‘no scare’ necklaces, big bright indicators that you’re a sensitive little bitch that doesn’t want to be scared. At least, that’s how you felt looking at them, considering buying one. You know they’re an extremely valid item, a protective emblem that many people need, and that it’s perfectly fine—in fact, it’s encouraged for people to use them if they need to.

As you fingered the green nylon of the lanyard, you couldn’t help chewing your bottom lip, worrying at it until it cracked under your teeth and the coppery tang of blood danced across your tongue. You almost bought it…maybe you should have. However, the fact that you’re half-hidden by the corn maze sign and doing everything in your power not to draw unwanted attention to yourself seems to be keeping you from attracting the actors your way.

The tiny hand on your watch ticks away, drawing closer to turning over the minute, which'll turn over the hour to 11 PM. Sharp. Yoongi’s insistence. Just as the hands come together on your watch, you feel that telltale tingling feeling of eyes on you. It’s a familiar sensation, one you often associate with Yoongi. Daring to step out from behind the sign to the corn maze, you spin in a slow circle, trying to catch sight of him.

“Looking for someone?”

You have to clamp a hand over your mouth to muffle the shriek that rips from your chest as those words drift in from right behind you. So close that it’s impossible to imagine you hadn’t noticed him approaching you as you looked around.

“Yoongi,” you sigh, dropping your hand.

He's enveloping you from behind before you can turn around and give him a pouty yet stern look. His familiar musk and warmth ease your heart back from its hammering gallop. “You’re good enough to eat,” he gruffly murmurs, pressing his nose into the fabric of your coat at the juncture of your shoulder and neck. You can feel more than hear his deep inhalation, as if he’s drawing in the scent of your very soul and branding it throughout his olfactory system.

“The maze closes in an hour. Are you sure we can make it to the center before then?” you ask, voice light and airy as relief infused with drips of serotonin weaken your knees and your resolve to be upset with him for frightening you. You turn in his arms, keen to look upon his face for another kick of comfort, but it sours in your belly when you take in his pulled-up hood and the thick black gaiter covering the bottom half of his face. “What’s that for?”

Yoongi shrugs, shoulders lifting in his typical nonchalant manner. “It’s Halloween. Consider me dressed for the occasion.” He winks at you, but it does nothing to quell the unease still rolling around just beneath your surface. Feigning that stomachache is starting to sound more and more appealing, Yoongi’s excitement be damned.

“You look like a burglar.”

You can’t see his smile, but you can tell it’s there by how his eyes crinkle and lids lower mischievously. “And you look ripe for the burgling.”

“You’re insufferable,” you gripe teasingly, finally letting a smile grace your face despite the lingering anxiety. It’s easy to forget your fears and worries when you’re looking into his umber-colored gaze.

“Come on, let’s go.” Yoongi offers you his elbow, and you tuck your hand into the crook of it, leaning your shoulder against his arm.

The fleece-lined leggings you chose to wear keep you warm enough, paired with the knit sweater and thick tweed coat covering your top half. Your chunky boots are comfortable and practical for the slightly uneven terrain of the cornfield-turned-maze. Yoongi is far more casual in just jeans, the hoodie, and a pair of dusty and worn sneakers.

You study his face the best you can past the edge of his hood and out of the corner of your eye. He’s just as handsome as always. Even the black fabric covering the bottom half of his face doesn’t detract from his allure, which seems to be intensified by the deepening darkness around you as he leads you through the maze entrance.

A festival worker stands off to the side in full-on farmer-gore. Their overalls are covered in faux viscera, and there is a bloodied sling blade dangling from their off-hand as they beckon you and Yoongi forward with their other.

“Tonight's savior phrase is ‘Pumpkin Guts’, yell it out if you need assistance navigating the maze, and a helper will assist you,” he offers before turning to the next patron approaching a few feet behind you and Yoongi and giving them the same information.

“Pumpkin Guts,” Yoongi scoffs with a quiet laugh. “Surely they could have come up with something far more fitting than that.”

“I find it kind of nice. The childish charm of it helps make a situation like getting lost in the maze less scary, don’t you think?”

His eyes look more onyx now that you’re within the maze, the only illumination coming from tiny, sparse fairy lights. They catch your gaze, and you see a smile tilt up the corner of Yoongi’s mouth. “That’s adorable.”

“What?” you laugh, feeling heat crawl into your cheeks.

Yoongi shakes his head, his smile growing. “You always find the good in everything. It’s one of the things I like most about you.”

All the residual anxiety from earlier bleeds away with just that singular statement. You press in closer to Yoongi and angle your face up in silent request, to which he immediately obliges. He hooks a finger in the lip of his gaiter and pulls it down so he can slant his mouth over yours. His lips are warmer than usual, his breath carrying faint hints of bourbon as he teasingly slips his tongue through the seam of your lips. All too soon, he’s pulling away, leaving you with just that small taste of him. The gaiter slides back into place, and he nods ahead of you. “The quicker we make it to the center, the quicker you get the surprise I have waiting for you.”

“A surprise?” you ask, thoroughly intrigued. 

His affirming hum in response turns into a soft chuckle as you eagerly quicken your steps, tugging him along beside you. As someone who isn’t partial to being shocked or scared, it’s perhaps a bit ironic that you love surprises of the unknown. They just have to be the right kind—like one from Yoongi; er, well, at least the ones that don’t involve him sitting on your bed in the dark as you open the bathroom door or so you tell yourself—but you digress.

Though, perhaps there is a bit of enjoyment from those kinds of surprises, too. In a twisted, semi-fucked up way, the surge of adrenaline is like a counterweight to the dopamine response from your amygdala that follows any time you get frightened. The perfect balance of emotions. The fight or flight reflex makes your body feel like it’s keyed up with extra energy, leaving you feeling like you’ve just run a mile or fucked for an hour. It’s maybe a little unhinged to salivate over those small sips of terror secretly. Does that make you a masochist?

You’d almost think Yoongi picks up on your inner thoughts with the way he makes an amused sound in the back of his throat and gives you a sidelong, knowing look. Something tingles beneath your skin, an electric feeling akin to loose ambitions. It seems tonight won’t be so bad after all.

The crunch of dried corn husks and hay accompanies the occasional scream or laugh echoing from various points in the maze. You’ve only led Yoongi to a dead-end a handful of times so far, but the anxiety at not having found the center of the maze yet is starting to mount.

“I can feel your stress in the tension in your hand,” Yoongi muses softly. “Relax, you’ll get your surprise.”

“What if they close the maze before we make it to the center, though?”

“They won’t.”

You cut a quick glance at him. He looks smug. “You seem so sure, but from my count,” you shift your attention to your watch, “we only have fifteen minutes before the festival closes, and I’d guess we’re nowhere near the center yet.”

Yoongi shrugs. “I may have paid the vendor to let us stay as long as we need.”

“You did what?”

“Tonight’s special,” Yoongi tugs you to a stop, his hands engulfing yours, and gives you a pointed look. “Very special.” The thumb of his right hand grazes over the expanse of skin above the knuckle on your left ring finger. “Now, let’s go find the center…and your surprise.”

A new sensation trickles in–excitement. Your heart patters faster as you turn and haul Yoongi on with renewed vigor. Gone is any trepidation; in its place, nothing but giddy and barely veiled anticipation. And to think, you’d almost been silly and canceled on him.

🖤🖤🖤

Yoongi

Yoongi wasn’t exaggerating when he said you look good enough to eat tonight. If only you knew how close to an accurate statement that was. He’s had a constant flow of moisture seeping into his mouth since he laid eyes on you standing behind the wooden sign for the maze. He had just finished setting up the surprise for you in the center, utilizing his natural form in order to move quickly without being seen.

All the implements he needs await him at the maze's center. The theatrics of it all are only for fun. He could have simply taken you without them. But he’s always been partial to playing with his food before devouring it. The pungency of your anxiety as you waited was a delightful appetizer to what is sure to be a satiating main course.

Every time you make a wrong turn in the maze, Yoongi can feel the tension in your muscles and the momentary disappointment that flavors your scent. It’s amusing watching you shuffle your feet and grumble under your breath before turning and backtracking.

It’s not lost to him the amount of uncertainty you’ve had ever since he asked you to go with him tonight. Not that he would have given you a choice in the end; he’d have taken you by force if needed. But he’s a passive creature at best, so the less work he has to do, the better.

Using the ruse of there being a surprise waiting for you isn’t entirely untrue. Though, the treat he’s confident that he’s planted the idea of in your head is far different from what’s actually going to happen. He’s spent enough time in the mortal realm to know what you’d have interpreted from him stroking that particular finger with the right look in his eye. Your heart had gone into a frenzy of thick, heavy beats, and your eyes had lit up with wonder.

Yeah, he’s pretty sure he knows what’s driving your feet to move as quickly as they are now. It’ll just make the disappointment taste that much sweeter. Over the five years he’s been administering to you, molding you into the perfect vessel, he’s learned the small nuances that make you tick. Whether it’s for eliciting fear or excitement, desire or anguish, he knows exactly how to produce the results he wants.

“Ugh,” you grumble for the dozenth time when you turn a corner and come to another dead end. “This is impossible. How can you find enjoyment in these things?”

Yoongi smirks. “It’s quite analytical if you really want me to answer that.” The way your nose wrinkles when he says that is positively adorable. “Come on, I’ll help you out.”

You gleefully cede the lead, letting him guide you back and toward a different direction entirely. You’re still excited, bubbling with positive anticipation, even though you’re no longer playing the game, per se. It’s interesting how you so quickly relinquish the hunt—he’d never.

The noise of the festival and maze has long since fizzled away. He didn’t actually pay the attendant. He’s just using some of his ability to mask your presence from anyone who might get in the way. Some of the lights from the midway are still going, and a few rides are lit up. However, the deeper Yoongi leads you into the labyrinth, the darker it becomes. He’s confident you’re so wound up that you don’t even notice how his shadows grow and stretch along the narrow walkway around you.

“Oh, look!” You excitedly point at the opening that comes into view at the end of the row. “I can smell the popcorn. Did that bribe include a bucket waiting for us, too?”

Yoongi has no idea if there is popcorn waiting, but he imagines you’re only smelling the lingering scent. He can’t detect anyone else within a hundred-meter radius around the maze. If the prospect of popcorn makes you happy, then sure. “Of course it did. We’ll need a snack once I’m done with you.” Which mostly isn’t true, though he can’t be sure. Yoongi has never shadow-turned a human before, much less taken a mate in the process. You might be ravenous by the time he’s done; though, he’d bet it won’t be popcorn you’ll be craving.

There is a distinct moment where Yoongi can feel the shift in your demeanor. Your excitement dips into confusion as you take in the finish line area that’s deserted of anyone and anything other than the large 10 ft square structure he erected in the middle. The raw malachite plinths are so dark the lindworm-colored stone seems to absorb the illuminance around them, turning the gateway into a giant pit of darkness that devours the faint twinkling lights. Shadows bleed from the open space between the pillars, reaching for their master.

Yoongi’s blood sings with desire as fear trickles in with the confusion. “Yoongi,” you whisper his name, and it warbles from your lips oh so beautifully. “What’s that?”

“That’s your future, my love.” He untangles himself from your grip, circling you like a predator. “Now, run!” he snarls from right behind you.

You don’t even scream when he shoves you forward, your arms windmilling and boots tripping over the scatter of dried corn husks before you topple headlong between the pillars. The last thing he sees before the waiting shadows swallow you is the whites of your eyes as you throw a panicked look over your shoulder at him.

It’s mildly disappointing that you didn’t even so much as grunt or give him any sort of satisfaction that you’re petrified other than the cloying perfume of your terror that settles on his tongue when he huffs in irritation. Hopefully, when he follows you through the gateway, you’ll already be on the run because he’s in the mood to play a while longer before he shatters the world as you know it.

Yoongi wants you to recognize him, so he only casts off some of his mortal form, choosing to keep his face and most of his body intact. What changes is his size; he grows larger, arms and legs longer, fingers more like talons, and eyes the dark red of fresh blood.

He knows he looks monstrous, even more so with the cloth still covering the lower half of his face and the hoodie now ripped and hanging from his physique. As soon as he slides through the barrier of the gateway, he’s met with that euphoric sound he hoped for earlier. Your scream rends through the thick, stale air of the Realm of Darkness, music to his ears.

“That’s my girl,” Yoongi crows, his voice gravelly and distorted by his natural form. He inhales deeply, sucking in your dismay's succulent and divine fragrance. “Fuck.”

You scream again as he steps toward you, which spurs you into gaining your feet, not even caring to look at the soot-like substance caking your hands and knees. Yoongi can only imagine the thoughts warring inside your pretty little head right now. Wild fear makes your eyes flick frantically around before you choose a direction and sprint at breakneck speed between the skeletal trees surrounding this side of the gateway.

He chose the Forest of Decay specifically because it provides the perfect environment for a chase. It allows him to easily keep up with you while giving the illusion of protection. There’s also not a single nook or cranny Yoongi isn’t intimately familiar with; after all, he can’t have you finding some unknown hole to burrow into.

The flash and flicker of your coat draws his attention as it zigs and zags through the petrified sentinels of the forest. Their long, gnarled branches reach far, entwining overhead like a macabre endless bird's nest. It creates a dim atmosphere, with the faintest hint of light bleeding through the limbs. Each tree is about a foot wide and twenty feet high, the ground covered in sooty ash; it’s an ideal playground.

“Leave me alone!” you sob when Yoongi lets you catch another glimpse of him.

Yoongi shudders as a fresh, new wave of terror undulates from you and washes over him. “No can do, my queen.”

The thrill of the chase adds kindling to Yoongi’s need to consume you whole. Every step you take is reckless. You throw yourself around trees so fast you nearly hit the next. The spacing between the trees is relatively narrow, just a few feet at most. Still, with the way you’re barreling through them, you’ve already accumulated a few scratches and minor lacerations from the dried bark, feet kicking up small puffs of ash with every frantic step. The tangy, sweet scent of your blood makes him salivate. The thick, viscous drool coating his tongue will make it all that easier to fuck you with it once he catches you.

Lumbering on behind you, Yoongi intentionally stomps and makes as much noise as possible. Every crack and thump he makes has a whimper shivering from your throat. The thick appendage between his monstrous thighs swells with each terrified sound you make. Fucking you in his proper form will be such a treat. Surely, it’ll be far better than any sex he’s had with the limits of his human body, even if he does love the way your softness compliments his.

But there is nothing soft about Yoongi now—not when he has such a tasty morsel running and screaming so prettily for him. He’s all hard edges and thick muscle. A manic chuckle bubbles in his chest as he leaps ahead, hounding your heels.

It’s comical, ironic even, when he watches your foot catch on a high root hidden by a pile of ash, and you go sprawling on the ground before him. He’s seen enough of those cheesy horror films so fervently worshiped in your world to know how funny this is.

“Please, no! Leave me alone!” you beg through ragged breaths. Your face and hair are marked with scratches, flecks of dried bark, and the pewter-colored ash covering the ground.

An appreciative moan works its way free of Yoongi as he stands over you, swaying like he’s drunk. Which, maybe he is. There is a faint buzzing in his ears, and if he opens his eyes too wide, your image doubles. Two of you; he grins wickedly at the prospect. Now, that would be a definite treat.

As it is, there’s only you; that will be sufficient for what Yoongi has planned. He looms over you, and the backward-bending joints of his knees give slightly as he towers across your prone form. Your eyes pan over his arched body, perhaps for the first time, taking it in with true clarity. Yoongi lets his skin ripple between human and proper form, coalescing and whirling with shadows.

With a flex of darkness, he rends the remnants of his clothes. The ripping of the seams and subsequent soft plop of the ruined fabrics echo through the suddenly silent space. You’re barely even breathing as you take him in, eyes landing on the swinging cock that nearly brushes your belly as he places a gnarled hand beside your head in the ash.

“You’re mine,” he whispers, though it comes out more like sand in a grinder. Lowering further, Yoongi nudges your chin with his nose, guiding your head sideways to give him unfettered access to your throat. Pressing into the crook of your neck, he huffs hot breath over your skin, rejoicing in the instinctive reaction. Your skin prickles and flushes with goosebumps, and a thick cloud of potent fear wafts up as your pulse hammers away beneath his lips.

“P-please,” you whimper through trembling lips. Tears stream down your cheek and drip off the bridge of your nose. Their salty tang mixes with the sweetness of terror pervading the air.

That word, spoken in that way…it does something to Yoongi. He groans, nipping at the skin of your neck with his blunted teeth before letting them elongate so he can adequately graze your papery-thin flesh. You cry out when they slice through, leaving behind thin blood trickles and shallow scratches.

Your blood is laced with fear, blooming on his tongue like an ambrosia of the gods. “You’ve always begged so prettily, my queen. You’re a treasure, and I’m so glad I found you all those years ago, so innocent and unsuspecting—my perfect mate.”

The next scream that leaves your lips is guttural, full of panic and delirium as Yoongi takes his first pull from your body. Thin wisps of black shadow thread from his lips to yours. They pulse with every drag he takes. He’s fed from you thousands of times, but never like this—never so profoundly.

Fear, terror, horror, fright…it’s all the same, and yet Yoongi is almost sure he can taste the distinction. Like a fine wine, you have tasting notes that vary with every sip. By the fifth breath, your body has grown slack, your eyes wide and glassy. Tears still stream down your face but in silence.

Yoongi watches your pallor grow sickly, waxy as sweat pearls along your hairline and temples. Draining you is a delicate affair, something he’s both dreaded and looked forward to for so long. Watching the fire that he loves so much bleed from your eyes and the vigor leech from your skin pangs him with a foreign sensation, something akin to mourning? He realizes now he will mourn the loss of your human form, even if it’s far inferior to what he will turn you into.

With one final shuddering gasp, the darkest, thickest tendril of shadow snakes its way between your parted lips. Your fingers and limbs spasm as the inky darkness roots in deep, tethering itself to you like the strings of a marionette. It pulls tight in Yoongi’s own chest, cementing his essence to yours. As a barbed ring of shadow settles on the ring finger of your left hand, the bond snaps into place, and chaos ensues.

🖤🖤🖤

You’ve never experienced such visceral fear before. It’s consumed every fiber of your being. You’re no longer who you once were and will never be the same again. You are simply fear incarnate.

A boiling starts beneath your skin, beginning at the tips of your fingers and toes before rolling through to the center of your chest, where it pops and sizzles like dry ice in tepid water, so cold it burns.

It’s like flipping a coin. One minute, you are experiencing insurmountable terror, and the next, you exude it. Nothing can scare you now, not even the monster sitting a few feet away watching you with calculated eyes—familiar eyes, eyes you’ve lost yourself in more times than you can count.

They’re not as cold as they were a moment ago. You distinctly remember how those red eyes softened right before you felt yourself float away. It’s Yoongi, you know this, but it’s also not. He’s different, and it’s not even the deformed, gangly shadow form that makes up his body, either. There’s something more, something that draws you in, like an anchor dragging you into his deepest, darkest depths. He’s a vast ocean, and you’re pretty sure what he just did was akin to drowning you—killing you.

Only you don’t feel dead.

Quite the opposite, in fact. For the first time in your existence, you feel truly alive; and not in the living sense but in the eternal sense. You have no ending or beginning; you exist as you will yourself to be.

With that thought, your body urges you to change, to morph into a far more comfortable form. Darkness seeps from your pores, cascading out of your skin until it becomes a mockery of its former self, and it feels good—so good.

“What have you done to me?” Your voice sounds different, soft yet sultry. It reminds you of black silk and lace, devious and coy, with the perfect mix of husk and drawl.

Yoongi lets out a slow breath, the sound like dry leaves crackling. “Made you mine.”

“What…what are we?”

The soft ash sifts between your now exposed toes, the boots you once wore laying in peeled strips along with tattered remnants of your clothes. Nudity has never been an issue for you, but it’s as if you have no inhibitions at all now. The shadows around your body contort to form curves and perfect swells.

“We have many names. Demons, bogeymen…it’s all very fitting, yet doesn’t quite capture the truth. What I am—what we are—is darkness, fear, terror, and shadow. We are infinite, endless, and everything all at once.”

“Why me?” you whisper. That tether inside of you pulses, pulling tight as you shift and try to put distance between yourself and Yoongi. It’s like a rope around your throat, pulling you up short.

Yoongi narrows his eyes, lips quirking in amusement. “This is the Realm of Darkness—my domain,” he gestures broadly with a clawed hand, “and it was all I had access to until I found a way to enter yours. Once I tasted the sweet nectar of fear it provided and the power it allowed me access to, I couldn’t stop my curiosity and need for more. Then I found you, and I knew you would be the perfect compliment to my aspirations, just the thing I needed to break the barriers completely.”

He straightens up, and the way his body catches your attention has a heat flaring somewhere deep in your being. Your eyes lock on the dark sinews and plump muscles that stretch and contract as Yoongi moves to crouch in front of you. The ribbed and notched cock swaying between his thighs dribbles a thick, viscous line of lavender-colored arousal.

Tearing your eyes from the sight of it, you force yourself to look into his feral, red eyes. His explanation is both confusing and clear at the same time. You understand it, but know that you should be railing against it because it’s morally incomprehensible. You’ve essentially been kidnapped and forced into what this is. Yet…yet—“I feel…” you trail off, trying to find the right word to describe it.

“Powerful,” Yoongi offers with a knowing, pointed-tooth grin.

“Powerful,” you repeat, letting the word roll around your tongue before nodding. Perhaps that’s why you are shrugging off your cares and the moral compass that has seemingly forgotten how to point north.

The subtle smell of burnt wood and sulfur hits you as Yoongi raises a hand to fit across the front of your throat. Those too-long fingers engulf it, sending a shiver down your new body. Instead of your belly filling up with fear, it fills with desire and need. You no longer need to battle the terror, letting it drip away from you instead.

“Look at you. You’re so perfect. You don’t feel scared, but that’s only because this realm leeches it away and devours it before it can poison your mind, leaving behind nothing but how you truly feel.”

You know there has always been a darkness inside you, something that even you feared to face head-on. After all, it must take some kind of crazy to be both scared of the dark and want to embrace it. It’s not just the way Yoongi plied your body and made you forget to care about being proper and good. Is this what you were made for—all the fright and terror you’ve experienced and secretly sought out leading you to this very moment here?

All it takes is one look at Yoongi to know the truth.

You were created for this, crafted to be precisely what Yoongi needed, just as he said.

With that moment of clarity and acceptance, a new sensation slithers down your spine. A lasciviousness that has you moaning in surprise. 

“Fuck,” you grind out between clenched teeth.

“Gladly,” Yoongi chuckles, his red eyes taking on a lecherous gleam. “Let’s unleash your darkness on the realms, my queen.”

Between one breath and the next, your knees are splayed wide, and Yoongi has his face buried between your thighs. All it takes is one languid swipe of his long, broad tongue to have you cursing again. Caustic words fall from your mouth, laced with vitriol as it’s unfair how good it feels. It’s like every inch of contact between your body and his writes itself across what was once your soul.

“Mmmph,” you moan incoherently as the beginning of an orgasm lashes against your insides. Yoongi greedily sucks and licks, tongue laving over your throbbing clit before sliding between your contracting walls.

A tsunami of darkness crashes out from within you, blanketing the surrounding forest in shadow. Wisps of clarity ebb and flow, drifting along with the gloom until Yoongi grounds you with an exceptionally sharp pinch to one of your nipples.

“Almost there,” he announces gleefully, licking his lips before launching forward and forcing you onto your back.

Yoongi feels like fire against you, his body scorching everywhere it touches. You expect to feel the soft ash against your back but the only sensation that ebbs in is a cool aeration against the exposed skin between your shoulder blades.

Monstrous arms wrap around you as Yoongi slots his too-big mouth over yours, invading you with his slick, serpentine tongue. Your eyes flutter open, and you catch a glimpse of a pewter sky beyond the scraggy branches that are suddenly closer overhead.

You try to pull away from his devouring kiss to alert him to the jagged web of dry wood about to scrape his back, but he growls and renews his effort to shove his tongue as far into your mouth as possible. Snaps and cracks fill the air, and wood explodes around you.

Realization dawns as more should-be-fear-turned-lust pours through your body and expands beyond it, filling the sky around you with a murky darkness. The power of that emotion propels you further, sending you and Yoongi far above the landscape to suspend over the entirety of the Realm of Darkness, leaving a streamer of smoke-like essence in your wake.

Yoongi throws his head back, finally relenting from the kiss. His broad chest heaves against yours, and his red eyes are wild as they roll manically before landing on you. “How is this possible?” you pant, hands gripping the muscles of his shoulders tightly.

“Anything is possible here,” he whispers fervently before spinning you so fast your vision blurs. The horizon spans as far as you can see around you. You and Yoongi are hundreds of feet higher than even the tallest mountain peak. Everything is a monochrome grey, black, or in-between. A jagged line of mountains rear to your right while inky streams and rivers zig zag to your left. It’s a hideously beautiful display that contradicts all scenic views you’ve ever seen, yet is better than all of them combined.

“Oh, God,” you whimper when Yoongi forces your legs wide and slots his hips between them from behind. Shadows billow around you, charged with energy that crackles and sizzles, barely restrained from being unleashed to wreak untold havoc.

Thin fingers slide around to cup the front of your throat, giving a none too gentle squeeze. Yoongi snarls, “There is no God here. We are the gods!” His declaration is punctuated by the head of his cock prodding against your sopping cunt. This new body is already eager to pleasure Yoongi and receive pleasure in kind.

His hips kick forward, and you feel every delicious ridge and ripple along his thick shaft. It feels like he invades the pit of your stomach, filling you to the brink. It’s a rush of wicked delight, pure erotic rapture.

You moan again, this time invoking the only name left on your tongue, “Yoongi!”

“I’ve been looking forward to fucking you like this for five years,” he grunts, emphasizing the words with his hips pumping against your ass in brutal strokes. “Claiming you wholly, decorating the world with our combined shadows. Look how they writhe for you, waiting for you to command them. Let go.”

Your eyes roll from side to side, taking in the dark, undulating forms stretching wide around you. With each prick of pleasure Yoongi insights in your body, they branch and roil further out, creating the foundation for your own personal bedlam. 

Like a bounty won at the end of a hunt, Yoongi ravishes your body with his. He’s brutal, unrelenting and wanton. The hand on your throat tugs with every slam of his hips, bowing your back and forcing you to peer out at the Kingdom begging for your rule. Darkness beseeches you, screaming for your glory and power as it pours out and blankets the sky.

Your world narrows to one pin point of coherency. Yoongi. He is nothing and everything all at once. He is the beginning and the end—fear, loathing, lust, and madness…through it all, he is infinite. And he’s yours.

With one final, shuddering breath you let go; welcoming the darkness once and for all.

“Yes.” The word, whispered from your parted lips, is sucked away with the maelstrom that detonates around and within you.

You barely hear the guttural, primal roar that emits from Yoongi as he buries himself to the hilt and fills you with his terrible darkness. You shatter into a multitude of shards, a glittering storm that dances through the ether, sparking and catching on the thin membrane that stretches between the realms. All it takes is one weak point, a small breach in the barrier, and everything falls apart.

It’s glorious, feeling yourself everywhere all at once. Your body is still fluttering around Yoongi, sucking and welcoming his release into your soul. But, your consciousness is spread wide, bleeding through the nexus of this realm and the one you once called home.

The mortal realm bows to your will. You can feel the beings of the Realm of Darkness funneling toward the broken gateways, pouring through to consume and conquer with the whisper of your glory on their tongues. Fear reigns supreme, consuming everything in its path as you expand your hold on the darkness.

“My Queen of Darkness,” the ephemeral coo caresses your ear, phantom lips brushing along your shadows. Yoongi’s darkness blends with yours, adding to the pulse that seeps to all corners of existence. “No longer will you fear, as you are fear itself…glorious, neverending fear.”

◅ Back to Main Master List ©️   2023-10-23 ColorMePurplex2

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