Too Good To Be True - Ch. 26 | Kth(m)

Too Good To Be True - Ch. 26 | kth(m)

Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.

pairing: Taehyung x reader

genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: 18+

word count: 3.6k

warnings: cursing, making out, some light touching, SO MUCH TEASING

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Chapter 26: Such A Tease

As you stood off to the side on set later that day watching the guys run through the choreography, you simply could not calm your racing heart. Your smile, the one that had been plastered on your face since the moment Tae left your room that morning, felt like a scarlet letter. It’s not that there was anything inherently wrong with grinning from ear to ear for hours at a time, but Tae had been sporting the same exact expression all day.

People had immediately noticed his change in demeanor and performance from the previous day. Son Sung Deuk had simply complimented him, noting how focused he seemed and how sharp his movements were, but the guys were less subtle in pointing out Tae’s altered state. While you were touching up his hair after they’d filmed the first couple scenes, Jungkook strolled over and straight up called him out.

“Alright, what are you on right now?” Jungkook asked jokingly. “Yesterday you were a mess, but today your dancing is better than Hobi-hyung’s.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Tae said, his smile somehow growing even larger.

“That. That right there,” the younger man said, pointing directly at Tae’s face. “Why are you so smiley today?”

“I just really love this song,” Tae said with a laugh.

Your heart skipped a beat at the potential double meaning of his words.

“And, I really love this green suit Y/N picked out for me,” he added cheekily a second later. “I don’t know what it is, but people always look extremely attractive in green.”

You bit back a laugh and hoped that Jungkook couldn’t see how much you were blushing right now. When he left a few minutes later, you gave Tae the sternness glare you could muster, which probably was not all that threatening, but all he gave you in return was a knowing smirk.

An hour or so later you were in one of the trailers organizing the outfits the guys would be wearing next when Tae walked in with a mischievous look on his face.

“Kim Taehyung, are you following me?” you asked, raising an eyebrow at him questioningly.

“I most certainly am not,” he said in mock defense as he scanned the room and hastily picked up a hair dryer sitting on the table. “I came here for this hair dryer.”

“Your hair isn’t wet,” you said, trying to hold back a smile as you folded your arms over your chest and gave him a dubious look.

“Ahh, you’re right. It’s not,” he said as he set the hair dryer down. “I guess I don’t need it after all.”

“But, since I’m here anyway, I might as well give you this,” he then said with a smirk as he leaned over and gave you a kiss on the cheek.

“Tae!” you scolded, the big, silly grin you were now sporting making it obvious you were anything but angry. “You can’t do stuff like that.”

“Jagi, no one else is in here,” he replied calmly, giving you a shy smile.

“Well, you’re also being way too obvious out there,” you then added somewhat seriously.

“Obvious about what?” he asked innocently.

“Obvious about the fact that I woke up this morning with a beautiful woman in my arms? Or that I then got to make out with said beautiful woman?” he went on teasingly, wiggling his eyebrows at you in such a ridiculous way that you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Or,” he continued, suddenly sounding much more serious. “Is it too obvious that I am the happiest man in South Korea, perhaps even the entire world?”

As he said this, he took your hands. He brought each one up to his lips and placed a gentle kiss to your fingertips, just like he did that night on the roof.

“You make me so happy, Y/N,” he said, giving you his big, boxy grin. “I just can’t hide it.”

“You make me happy too, Tae,” you replied, smiling back at him with so much love in your heart you thought for sure it might explode.

“But, could you please just try to look slightly less ridiculously happy?” you asked with a laugh as you let go of his hands and turned back to the rack of clothes. “Maybe throw in a frown every once in a while?”

“I will try,” he replied seriously before his face broke out into another smile. “But, I cannot make any promises.”

You were about to then shoo him out so you could get some actual work done, when suddenly he spoke up again.

“Can I please just have one kiss before I go back out there?” he asked sweetly, giving you his puppy dog eyes. “It’s been like 6 whole hours since I last kissed you and that’s just too long.”

You looked over at him and, for perhaps the millionth time in your life, thought to yourself that he was entirely too charming for his own good.

“One kiss,” you said sternly.

You pulled him into a corner in the back of the trailer behind the clothing racks where you couldn’t be seen from the door or any of the windows. Gripping the vest of his green suit, you drew him in for what you thought would be one quick kiss. You were fooling yourself, though, for thinking that would be enough to satiate either of you. One kiss turned into two which then turned into three...

“I thought you said just one,” he pulled back to say with a smirk.

“You’re right, I did. We should sto-,” you started, but were cut off when Tae’s lips crashed back onto yours.

Before you knew it, he had an arm wrapped around your lower back holding you tightly to him, the other bracing against the wall behind you. His kisses were deep and passionate and you found yourself utterly lost in them as all rational thought left you. You should not be doing this with him right now, here on the set of a fucking BTS music video, but you couldn’t bring yourself to stop.

You were cursing yourself for dressing him in this green suit that made him sinfully irresistible when suddenly he broke the kiss. Instead of pulling away, though, he began trailing kisses down your jawline and onto your neck.

“I’ve always wanted to kiss you here,” he said a moment later before his lips latched onto the sensitive spot just below your ear.

“Fuck, Tae,” you breathed out, trying desperately to keep it together despite the fact that what he was doing felt so good. “D-Don’t leave marks.”

“I won’t, Jagi,” he assured you before pulling back to give you a wicked smile. “At least not where anyone else can see.”

You were on the verge of losing it, wondering where exactly on your body he planned on hiding his kisses, when suddenly you heard the sound of Namjoon’s voice calling out Tae’s name somewhere outside the trailer.

“Shit, I’ve got to go,” he said, immediately letting go of you. He gave you another quick peck, flashed you an adorable smile, and then sprinted out of the trailer.

Fucking Kim Taehyung and his duality

He would come in here acting all sweet and innocent, get you all worked up with his hot neck kisses, and then have to leave. After taking a few minutes to compose yourself, and finish organizing the clothes, you casually strolled out of the trailer, determined not to let anyone, especially Tae, know just how tightly you were wrapped around his finger.

~~~

Shooting didn't wrap up until almost 8:30 PM and the buses didn’t get back to the hotel until after 9:00 PM. On top of that, for reasons you would never understand, the guys were scheduled to do a VLive starting at 10:00 PM.

It had been a long day and you knew Tae was exhausted; he and the rest of the guys had literally been on the floor once the final scenes were filmed. You didn’t want to bother him, but you couldn’t deny that you wanted more than anything for him to stay with you again. It just felt so wonderful falling asleep and waking up in his arms. Unsure how to ask, or even broach the subject, you were in the process of rewriting a text to him for the umpteenth time when you received one from him.  

[Taehyung 9:23 PM] So I was thinking. We got to bed so late last night that I’m not sure I can count it as giving you a full night of cuddles. I think I might still owe you…

He wanted to stay with you again too

And, just like that you were that person smiling down at your phone like an idiot.

[9:24 PM] Hmm you’re right. According to my calculations, you definitely still owe me. Would you like to pay off your debt tonight?

[Taehyung 9:25 PM] Yes. Absolutely.

[Taehyung 9:26 PM] We still have this VLive at 10, though, so I might not be there until pretty late. I don’t want to keep you up. I know you must be tired. You worked so hard today.

You had worked really hard today. Mrs. Choi had made sure of that. The fact that he noted this, even though he and the rest of the guys clearly worked even harder, was just so sweet.

[9:28 PM] I don’t mind if it’s late. I could maybe give you one of my room keys? Just in case I fall asleep? That way you don’t have to wait in the hallway.

[Taehyung 9:29 PM] OK, that sounds good. I’ll stop by to get it in like 15 minutes.

[9:30 PM] OK 😊

With a sudden burst of diabolical inspiration about how to get back at Tae for his shenanigans in the trailer, you suddenly leapt to your feet and strode over to your suitcase. After rummaging around in it for a minute or so, you finally found what you were looking for: the black lace bra and panties you may or may not have bought specifically for this trip. You hastily put them on and then threw Tae’s hoodie on over top.

A few minutes later, you were eagerly watching through the peephole of your door, its many locks already undone. As soon as you saw him come into view, you yanked the door open and he quickly slipped inside. You closed the door and turned to find him staring at you, his gaze fixed on your barely covered legs.

He didn't say a word, he simply walked over to you, slowly backing you against the wall in the process. Cupping your cheeks, he brought his lips to yours for a slow, sensual kiss that had you almost forgetting your plan entirely. After a minute, he dropped his hands from your face and gently ran them down your sides.

“What are you wearing underneath this?” he asked softly as he toyed with the hem of his hoodie.

“I’ll let you find out for yourself,” you replied flirtatiously. “But, there’s a catch.”

“You can look or you can touch, but you cannot do both,” you went on, biting your lower lip seductively like you’d seen him do countless times before.

Without hesitating, he put his hands on the sides of your bare legs. After watching your reaction to make sure that was OK with you, he then slowly began running them upwards and underneath his hoodie. Higher and higher he went, well past the point where a pair of shorts would have sat, until finally his fingers brushed the delicate fabric.

“Fuck,” he breathed out.

“You seemed to really like my lace dress,” you whispered in his ear. “I thought you might like these too.”

For a moment he was still, utterly transfixed by the feeling of the thin, lacy band beneath his fingertips, but he soon began running his fingers back and forth along the fabric, his touch light and gentle and ever so slightly hesitant. When he slid his hands backward, his eyes went wide when he felt how cheeky the panties were, how little they actually covered and how they perfectly hugged the curve of your ass. When he then slipped his hands to the front and trailed his fingers over the little bow just below your navel, he swore again under his breath.

“Do you like them?” you asked innocently, now looking up at him with big doe eyes.

“I fucking love them,” he all but whispered.

“Do you wear things like this every day?” he then asked in a low, husky voice as he continued to play with the bow, gently pulling it and letting the band snap back softly against your skin.

“Only for special occasions,” you replied, trying to sound casual despite the fact that having his hands on you like this was driving you wild.

“Good,” he murmured, leaning his forehead against yours. “I’ll never be able to focus at work if I know you’re wearing these.”

“Well in that case, maybe I will start wearing them to the studio,” you then said coyly.

He pulled back to look at you and you saw something dark flash across his beautiful features.

“Now you’re just being a tease,” he said with a sternness that shot right through you.

“You’ve always been such a tease,” he went on. “Wearing those loose shirts that you know I can see down or that one skin-tight pair of dark jeans that make this look incredible.”

As he said that last part, he slid both hands backward again to palm your ass and give it a light squeeze. He then kept them there, his fingers slowly tracing the outline of the lace. If you didn’t already have a kink for his hands, you most certainly did now. You simply could not get over how fucking huge they were; he could literally cup your entire cheek in one hand.

“You knew I couldn’t have you, but you made me want you anyway,” he continued as he brought his hands back to your sides and then dipped his fingers beneath the lacy band. He then began trailing them back and forth along your hips, each time coming a little further forward, a little closer to where you most wanted them.

“You can have me now,” you whispered, now incredibly turned on and well aware of the fact that he was definitely the one teasing you.

“Unfortunately, I don’t think there’s time for that,” he said regretfully, giving you a devilish smirk before removing his hands from you entirely. “Our VLive starts in 5 minutes.”

You pouted at him, folding your arms across your chest.

“Don’t give me that face. You started this,” he teased before placing a light kiss on your pouty lips.

“But, I really do have to go now,” he then said seriously, looking genuinely disappointed, as he brought his hand up to gently caress your cheek. “I’ll see you later tonight, OK?”

“OK,” you replied as your pout morphed into a shy smile.    

He gave you another quick peck, took the spare key from you, and was about to open the door to leave when suddenly he turned back around. In the blink of an eye his lips were back on yours for a brief, but incredibly intense kiss.

“Just so you know, it’s not the lace, Jagi,” he said after releasing your lips. “It’s you in the lace.”

With that, he finally left your room, leaving you rooted to the spot, smiling like a fool, and blushing from head to toe.

~~~

It was almost midnight by the time he came to your room. You had been teetering on the edge of sleep for the last hour, trying desperately to stay awake so you could see him. The moment you heard the door unlock, though, you were wide awake. You heard him shuffle into the room, heard the unmistakable sound of him unzipping his jeans and removing his outer layers of clothing, and then heard him call out to you.

“Y/N?” Tae whispered.

“No, it’s Mrs. Choi,” you replied, biting back a laugh.

“Oh god, don’t even joke about that,” he said back as he climbed onto the bed.

“I might leave now just because you said that,” he went on, though, as he said this he was already slipping under the covers.

“You’re not going to leave,” you said smugly, turning to face him. “You want my cuddles.”

“I do want them,” he admitted with a laugh as he wrapped his arm around you and pulled you flush against him. “I need them, actually.”

He leaned in to kiss you then, but this kiss was much different than the urgent, hungry ones you’d shared that morning and throughout in the day. This kiss was slow and sweet, passionate too, but not as if it was meant to lead anywhere. It felt like he was kissing you simply for the sake of kissing you and being close to you, not because he wanted anything from you, which you appreciated so much.

It’s not that you didn't want to do more with him physically, because you definitely did, especially after all the teasing you two did today, but you didn’t want your entire relationship to be centered on that. It meant the world to you that he seemed to feel the same, that he came here tonight not with an agenda or expectations, but to truly just be with you.

“I loved waking up next to you this morning,” he said once you parted, sounding so sincere. “I wish you were the first thing I saw every day.”

If anyone else had said this, you would have worried it was some sort of practiced line, but this was Tae. You knew he wasn’t like that. He simply said whatever came to mind in the moment and what he was thinking right now were the most adorable, wonderful thoughts.

“You’re making me blush,” you said shyly as you hid your face in the crook of his neck. “You can’t see it because it’s dark, but I am.”

“I love making you blush,” he teased.

“I remember the first time I ever said you looked cute you turned the prettiest shade of pink,” he went on. As he spoke, you could just hear the smile in his voice.

“Stop,” you whined. “I’m going to die of embarrassment.”

“It would be my pleasure to revive you via mouth-to-mouth,” he said back smoothly.

You burst out laughing. “If the embarrassment doesn’t kill me, your cheesy pickup lines will.”

“Well then we should start planning your funeral now because they are only going to get cheesier,” he replied before he too started to laugh.

The two of you then spent the next hour talking and giggling and, yes, occasionally locking lips. You knew you should have gone to bed right away, the second day of the shoot was starting in just a couple hours, but you were far too excited to sleep. It just felt like you guys had too much to catch up on, too much lost time to start making up for, to waste a single moment on sleep.

As it neared 1:00 AM, and you were finally starting to get sleepy, it dawned on you that being here with him on a trip like this was actually such a tease. In the hotel you had relatively easy access to each other with your rooms being just a floor apart. Since Big Hit had actually gone ahead and rented out the entire hotel, you didn’t have to worry about being spotted by fans or the media or any other random people. You obviously had to be careful about being seen by other members of the BTS team, but they weren’t specifically watching Tae’s every move like many people would be outside the hotel. Even in the trailer, where you were literally on set with the entire rest of the team, you had been able to get some privacy.

Back in Seoul, once you returned to normal life, things would undoubtedly be different. You wouldn’t get any privacy at Big Hit; there would be no closed, locked doors to hide behind. You could still spend time together in the studio, but it would have to be in a strictly platonic capacity. If you wanted to actually see each other, you would have to go to each others’ apartments, which was easier said than done. Tae lived in a gated apartment complex that was under constant surveillance by security as well as by the media and sasaeng fans. You lived in a random apartment building that would be extremely difficult for him to visit without being followed or recognized.

You suddenly found yourself feeling rather anxious about everything, wondering what exactly you’d gotten yourself into and how you were supposed to make it all work.

“Tae,” you called out softly, almost nervously, after you’d flipped around to get ready to actually go to sleep. “What happens when we get home?”

“We figure it out together,” he said simply, seeming to know exactly what you were asking, as he gathered you in his arms and pulled you close.

“OK,” you replied, his quiet confidence already making you feel infinitely better.

“Goodnight, Tae,” you said a moment later.

“Goodnight, Jagi,” he replied, once again giving your shoulder a little kiss.

You took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and then closed your eyes.

You'll figure it out together

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Tag List:

@mooseknucklesbussy @hordanhearsawhooo @iridescenthobi @silvyaaa @yoonglespringles10 @serendipitysev @t0rus-milk-bread @cuteipat @aomi-nabi @yessii-i @just-jeon @allizarae @somewhereofftheglobe @mykie-min-bangtan

woah omg you have an ask box now. how did i not notice this before ahaha. just a reminder that your writing is amazing and literally makes me smile so much (and cry if its angsty) and that you blessed us all with Too Good to be True so thank you for your lovely contribution to all the bts fics out there :)

Ha OK I didn’t have the ask box before because I didn’t realize it wasn’t enabled lol I kept seeing other people post asks and being like “WHAT IS THIS SORCERY AND HOW DO I GET IT?!”

But thank you so much for reading and following our dear sweet couple on their journey. As a writer it is truly the greatest compliment to hear that my words have made you feel so deeply 🥺

Too Good To Be True - Ch. 25 | kth(m)

Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.

pairing: Taehyung x reader

genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: 18+

word count: 3.6k

warnings: cursing, mentions alcohol consumption, some slight adult content (hehehe)

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Chapter 25: Love Drunk - Part 2

After discovering there was no food in your room except for dark chocolate, Tae called down to room service using the most ridiculous fake woman’s voice you’d ever heard. You were literally howling with laughter as he ordered the pancakes you asked for and nearly rolled off the bed when he told them his name was ‘Mrs. Choi’. When he was finished, he hung up the phone and walked over to where you were laying.

“You need to keep it down, little missy,” he said sternly, but with a smirk as he caged you with his arms and hovered over you.

Your laughter ceased immediately; being scolded by sexy, serious Tae was infinitely more arousing now that you could act on the desire he fueled in you.

“And if I don’t?” you asked mischievously, giving him your best smoldering stare.

He leaned down to whisper in your ear, “Then you will be punished.”

Well fuck

It dawned on you just then that you were now maybe, hopefully dating not only the World’s Most Handsome Man, but arguably the world’s biggest tease. If you were going to survive him, you knew you needed to step your game up.

“You’re only teasing yourself, Mr. Kim,” you replied coyly. “As per the rules of my drunkenness, I’m fairly certain none of the punishments you have in mind are permissible.”

The look on his face when you said that was absolutely delicious: it was a mixture of complete astonishment and unmistakable lust.

“Little minx,” he muttered as he pulled away from you, echoing his sentiment from last night. “You are going to be the death of me.”

After recovering from that steamy encounter, and while waiting for your pancakes to arrive, drunk you then thought it was best to perform your own interpretive dance to Dynamite. Tae found your performance inspiring and declared that, should he be unable to perform tomorrow, he would most definitely nominate you as his replacement. He gave it the following officially unofficial scores: 10/10 for creativity, 11/10 for effort, and 9.5/10 for execution, the .5 point deduction coming because you accidentally knocked over a lamp while attempting a fan kick. Once you were finished, he then performed the actual Dynamite choreography, with a little extra flare that came in the form of several winks, lip bites, and blown kisses.

When your pancakes were delivered you obviously had to be the one to get the door and when you got back inside you found Tae with the remote in his hand, his big, boxy smile plastered on his face. You turned to look at the TV and, sure enough, the opening credits to Frozen were playing. You ate your pancakes with your hands, claiming that they tasted better that way, a statement which Tae wholeheartedly agreed with. They came with strawberry jam, but you just wanted to eat them plain so you let Tae have that. He ate it from the little container with his finger, doing so ever so slightly seductively and giving you a little smirk when you noticed and blushed.

When you were done eating you moved to sit between his legs, your back resting against his sturdy chest as he leaned against the headboard. He kept his arms snuggly wrapped around your waist, briefly removing one every now and then to grab the glass of water from the bedside table to remind you to drink. Every so often he would ask how you were feeling and when you at one point said you had a bit of a headache, he jumped up to get the Ibuprofen you kept in your purse. After you took some, he made sure to settle right back into his previous spot, his arms instantly encircling you once more.

As you kept watching the movie, you realized he truly did know almost all of the words which you found absolutely adorable. Listening to him sing “Do You Want To Build A Snowman?” was so endearing that your love for him had literally doubled by the time the song was over. Once the movie finally came to an end a little while later and Tae turned off the TV, a giant yawn involuntarily escaped you.

“Is my Y/N sleepy?” he asked softly, sweeping your hair to the side and placing a little kiss just behind your ear.

“Maybe,” you replied, smiling at his words and giggling because that tickled just a bit. You would never stop loving how wonderful it sounded when he called you his.

“But, I don’t want you to leave so I have to stay awake,” you then said sleepily.

“Who says I’m going to leave?” he asked in reply, hugging you a little tighter as he spoke. “I believe I owe you a night’s worth of cuddles.”

A million butterflies fluttered in your stomach at the thought of him actually staying the night with you. Even if you were truly just going to sleep, it was still such an intimate thing to do together. It was something you wanted, though, something you truly felt ready for. You may have only been unofficially together for a week, but you had known and trusted and loved him for years. Intimacy, of every kind, was something you desperately craved with him.

“Yes, I believe you do,” you replied shyly as you slid your hands down his arms and intertwined your fingers with his.

For the next few minutes you just sat there like that, basking in not just the current moment, but in all the wonderful moments, both big and small, that comprised the entire evening. To be completely honest, the thought that you might actually be asleep and dreaming did cross your mind; it all just seemed so unreal. However, the sound of Tae’s voice pulled you from that thought.

“I was wondering if maybe you would like to hear my song now?” he asked hesitantly.

“I would love to,” you replied dreamily.

And so he sang his song for you, the sad, sweet lullaby about ships that you first heard what felt like ages ago. You realized at once that the song wasn’t simply about love, rather, it was a confession of love. Even in your half-asleep, still slightly buzzed state of existence, you were all but sure as to why he wrote it and why he was singing it for you now.

Around and around your mind whirled searching for the words to say and the courage to say them once he stopped singing, but nothing seemed right. Nothing you thought of could match the tenderness and sincerity of his voice, could quell the unmistakable sense of longing or secure the loose thread of hesitation woven throughout the song. In the end, though, it mattered not; the song was most certainly a lullaby, the sound of his soft, wistful humming after the second chorus being the last thing you remember hearing before you finally drifted off.

After falling asleep on his chest, you woke at some point a while later to the feeling of him gently extracting himself from your embrace. Now completely sober and suddenly feeling very self-conscious about everything that had happened, you kept your eyes closed and pretended to still be asleep. He laid you down beside him, making sure to tuck you under the covers, but then got up from the bed. For a minute or two you heard him shuffling around the room, the indistinct rustling giving nothing away as to what he was doing, until eventually the lights flicked off.

For one heart-stopping moment you thought he might be leaving, that he had changed his mind about staying, changed his mind about you, but then suddenly you felt the bed dip. The covers were lifted up briefly as he crawled under them and laid down beside you. The next thing you knew, his arm was snaking around your waist and gently pulling you closer until your back was flush with his now bare chest. He kept his arm wrapped around you, his fingers grazing the exposed skin between your tank top and shorts, as he nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck. A second later he pressed a gentle kiss to your shoulder and then whispered two words just barely loud enough for you to hear.

“Goodnight, jagi.”

~~~

When you woke the next morning in Tae’s koala-bear-like embrace, you realized you were absolutely wrong last night: this was the happiest moment of your life. You had flipped over at some point during the night and were now facing him. The two of you were also now sharing a pillow, your faces close enough that you could count his long, beautiful eyelashes. His arm was still wrapped around your waist and his leg was now haphazardly thrown over yours. You were positive you could not have escaped his hold even if you tried, but that was not at all a problem; you would have been perfectly happy staying there with him like that forever.

A few moments later, when he opened his eyes and gave you the most adorable sleepy smile, you felt an incredible urge to tell him you loved him. You almost did it too, but at the last second you got cold feet. He hadn’t explicitly said it last night and you were still ever so slightly afraid that you’d misinterpreted the meaning of his song and him singing it for you.

“Hi,” he said, making absolutely no move to extract himself from you.

“Hi,” you said back, a shy smile on your face.

“How are you feeling?” he asked with a slightly concerned expression. “Do you have a headache or anything?”

“No, I feel OK,” you replied honestly before adding. “Thanks to a certain someone taking such good care of me.”

His face broke out into his signature big, boxy grin which you decided looked infinitely cuter than usual while laying in bed.

“Did I say or do anything embarrassing last night?” you then asked him hesitantly.

Instantly, his smile disappeared.

“Wait, do you not remember parts of last night?” he asked, sounding slightly panicked as he retracted his arm and leg.

“No, no, no. Tae, I remember everything,” you quickly assured him.

“I guess I was just trying to get your opinion on whether or not I made a complete fool of myself,” you went on sheepishly.

He visibly relaxed when you said that, and placed his hand back on your waist, but then furrowed his brow at you.

“You were not a fool,” he gently scolded before adding with a smile. “You were just silly and adorable.”

You breathed out a sigh of relief. You realized he likely wouldn’t have stayed the night if he thought you were a complete trainwreck, but it was still nice to get reassurance that you had not ruined everything with your drunken shenanigans.

As you looked back over at him and gave him a small smile, the gravity of the whole situation finally seemed to dawn on you. Kim Taehyung was in your bed right now. Correction: Kim Taehyung had been in your bed all night. Furthermore, he had spent that entire time holding you while shirtless, a fact you were reminded of every time your gaze wandered down from his beautiful face. You were trying, and completely failing, to keep your eyes from lingering on his bare chest, when suddenly he spoke up.

“I have a confession,” he said, looking extremely nervous.

“Ok,” you said slowly as your heart began beating erratically in your chest.

He was quiet then for a few moments and you held your breath waiting for him to continue.

“The night of The Grammys,” he started. “I-I remember everything.”

Your mouth dropped open.

“I told you I didn’t because I was embarrassed, but I did,” he said, wincing as he spoke.

“I wanted to see you,” he continued. “I was drunk and happy and I just wanted to see you.”

“I wasn’t trying to like get with you,” he quickly clarified. “Though, you did look insanely hot in that sequin tank top which was incredibly distracting.”

“Kim Taehyung, did you purposefully smear strawberry jam on a $1,500 shirt just so you could ask me to come clean it?” you asked incredulously.

“No, no! I swear I didn’t. I really was that clumsy,” he said with a laugh. “But it was the perfect excuse to text you. At least, that’s what my drunken brain thought.”

There were a million thoughts rushing through your mind and a million emotions washing over you right now, but ultimately the only response to his confession that felt appropriate was to burst out laughing.

“I’m going to kill you and that goddamn jammy shirt,” you said a moment later once you had caught your breath.

“We raised a ton of money for charity with the auction if it makes you feel any better,” he said, grinning at you.

“It does,” you replied with another laugh.

It got quiet again for a minute and you found yourself thinking that the whole incident from the night of The Grammys would one day make a really great story. You then blushed, and internally scolded yourself for jumping ten steps ahead, when you realized who exactly you imagined telling the story to.

“I’m sorry,” he then said, sounding serious once more. “I know I shouldn’t have lied to you.”

“I just panicked when I woke up in the morning and you weren’t there,” he continued quietly. “I thought you were mad at me or that you felt uncomfortable or unsafe being with me.”

Recalling the momentary panic you felt last night when you thought he was leaving, and knowing how absolutely devastated you would have been to wake up this morning with him gone, an enormous wave of guilt instantly washed over you.

“Tae, I’m so sorry for leaving like that,” you said, reaching up to take his hand in yours.

“I was just really overwhelmed,” you then admitted. “Waking up in your room, in your bed, and in your clothes was kind of devastating, to be honest.”

“It was like a dream come true that then turned into a nightmare when I remembered that I wasn’t supposed to be there,” you continued. “That you didn’t actually want me there.”

“But, I did want you there,” he said earnestly. “Even if it only happened by accident.”

“The moment I saw how cute you looked in my pajamas I decided I couldn’t wait any longer,” he then added with a sad smile. “I was going to tell you how I felt the next morning.”

“You were?” you asked softly.

He nodded his head in reply and you felt your heart constrict. The two of you could have been together months ago, could have avoided so much heartbreak, if you hadn’t left that morning.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered as an immense amount of regret welled up inside you.

“Y/N, it’s OK. It doesn’t matter anymore” he said gently as he let go of your hand and instead reached up to cup your cheek. “We’re together now.”

He then stared into your eyes with that same intent look he gave you on the beach, the same one he gave you last night. His eyes flicked down to your lips as he nervously licked his own. He tilted his head ever so slightly and you instinctively mirrored the action. Then you were both slowly leaning in. Your lips were just inches apart as your eyes fluttered closed.

Oh my god it is finally going to happen…

*KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK*

At the sudden sound of someone absolutely pounding on your hotel room door, you two instantly jumped apart.

“Were you expecting someone this morning?” Tae whispered frantically.

“No!” you practically yelled in return.

Just then a few more loud knocks came, this time along with some commentary.

“Y/N, you better be awake!” the muffled, but unmistakable sound of Mrs. Choi’s voice said impatiently.

Fucking Mrs. Choi would be the one to ruin the most romantic moment of my life

“Shit, shit, shit,” you said, scrambling up out of the bed.

Tae got up too and immediately started looking around the room for somewhere to hide.

“Fuck, get in the bathroom,” you whispered, opening the door and shoving him inside. “Hide in the shower just in case.”

Two seconds later you opened the door to find Mrs. Choi mid-knock, a look of extreme annoyance plastered on her face.

“I see you were still in bed just now,” she said, eyeing you disdainfully. “I’m disappointed, but not surprised.”

“I was expecting you to take the first bus over this morning,” she added bluntly.

You tried to respond, but she immediately cut you off.

“This is your concept we’re using today,” she then went on. “You have a responsibility to make sure it’s executed properly.”

“Yes, Mrs. Choi. Of course,” you replied sweetly, trying so hard not to let it be known that you wanted nothing more than to murder her right now. “I will be ready shortly.”

“Good,” she then said curtly before turning on her heel and storming off down the hall.

You shut the door, closed your eyes, and then leaned your forehead against it.

Fuck that was a close call

“You can come out now,” you then called to Tae as you began fiddling with the door’s numerous locks.

You heard the bathroom door open and when you turned back around a few moments later you found Tae standing right in front of you. He immediately brought his hands up to cup your cheeks and the next thing you knew his plush, pink lips were pressed against yours. It took your brain a fraction of a second to register what was happening, but then you were kissing him back, every nerve ending in your body alight.

The kiss was soft and gentle and ever so slightly hesitant, but so sweet and so indescribably perfect. Every other thought in your head disappeared and the rest of the world faded away as the only thing you could focus on was the feeling of Tae’s lips on yours. You were in a state of complete euphoria; kissing him was literally everything you ever dreamed it would be and more.

After a couple seconds he released your lips and leaned his forehead against yours, his eyes still closed. He dropped his hands from your face and instead laced them with your own at your sides. You two stood there like that for a few wordless, blissful moments before he finally whispered, “I have wanted to do that for three years.”

“Me too,” you whispered back.

A few seconds of silence passed as the weight of your confessions settled in.

“Can I do it again?” he asked hesitantly.

“Yes,” you answered immediately.

At once his lips returned to yours only this time there was no trace of hesitancy. The kiss was urgent and hungry, fueled by years of pent up desire. At some point you must have stopped holding each others’ hands because his were now gripping your hips and yours were wrapped around his neck.

He backed you against the door slowly and when you felt his bare chest press against your thinly covered one you let out a soft moan. His kisses grew even more passionate in response as his hands pushed up the bottom of your tank top to settle on your waist. When you began tugging gently on the hair at the nape of his neck a moment later he let out a low groan of his own, a sound which you found to be utterly intoxicating.

Eager to taste that wicked, teasing tongue of his, you swiped yours against his lower lip. He complied immediately and began deepening the kiss with a dominance that had you going weak at the knees. When he gave your lower lip a soft bite a moment later, you reflexively arched your back, pressing your hips forward into his.

A jolt of electricity instantly shot through you upon feeling that he was as turned on as you were, but it dissipated a second later when he suddenly broke the kiss, removed his hands, and pulled back to look at you.

“W-we should stop,” he said breathlessly.

You were confused and on the verge of panic thinking you’d somehow already managed to ruin things with your subpar kissing abilities when he spoke again.

“I-I want to take it slow,” he said nervously. “But, I honestly don’t feel like I can control myself right now.”

“You are so beautiful and so sexy and I want to do so much more than kiss you right now,” he admitted as he slowly ran his hands down your sides, eventually settling them on the thin strip of exposed skin just below your tank top.

“But, I want to wait,” he then said, leaning his forehead against yours again. “I want to savor this. I want to savor you.”

You felt yourself flush immediately, but it wasn’t because you were embarrassed. If he had intended to de-escalate the situation with that statement, he had unfortunately failed miserably. Kim Taehyung admitting that you were making him lose control was just about the hottest thing anyone had ever said to you.

But, you fought back the urge to pull him in for another kiss because he was absolutely right, you should take this slow. After years of waiting and hoping to one day be with him, you wanted to savor every last drop of it too.

“OK,” you whispered as you kissed the beauty mark on the tip of his nose. “We’ll take it slow.”

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Too Good To Be True - Ch. 36 | kth (m)

Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.

pairing: Taehyung x reader

genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: 18+

word count: 2.6k

warnings: cursing

Chapter 36: Honeymoon Phase - Part 2

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Tae knew he’d made a mistake almost instantly, his smile faltering and his eyes going slightly wide as the realization hit him that he had just accidentally uttered, on live TV, a word only meant to be spoken between lovers. The other guys were clearly taken aback, some simply raising their eyebrows questioningly while others wore expressions of legitimate surprise. The few people in the audience who knew what the word meant let out a mixture of ‘awwws’ and squeals and gasps. Backstage, where you were watching along on the monitors with some of the other staff members, a wave of murmurs rippled through the group.

You stood there in stunned silence, your eyes glued to the screen as you waited with baited breath to see what happened next. For a heart stopping moment, no one said or did anything, but then suddenly Namjoon smiled and started to laugh.

“You’re not going to let me live that down, are you?” he said jokingly as he turned in his seat to face Tae.

At first, Tae just stared back at the older man blankly, but then his face broke out into a hesitant grin once he realized what Namjoon was doing.

“The other day my phone autocorrected something and I accidentally called him ‘Jagi’,” Namjoon went on embarrassedly, glancing around at the other guys as he spoke. “He swore he would never bring it up ever again, but apparently he lied.”

Whether they bought the lie or knew enough to just go along with whatever Namjoon said, you didn’t know, but the rest of the guys immediately broke out into what sounded like genuine laughter.

“I’ve been telling you guys for years that I’m hyung’s favorite,” Tae said with a smirk, now fully on board with Namjoon’s cover up.

“I thought I was hyung’s favorite,” Jungkook suddenly whined from the corner of the couch they were all sitting on.

“You’ve been replaced,” Tae said teasingly, batting his eyelashes and pouring on the charm.

“You too, Jimin,” he then added, turning to the man next to him with an adorable pout. “I apparently have a new soulmate.”

As another round of laughter broke out amongst the guys, everyone backstage joined in as well, people now fondly saying things like ‘I can’t with these boys’ and ‘Classic Bangtan’. Namjoon then turned back to James and started talking in English, no doubt to explain the situation. James immediately started laughing, as did the audience.

You, however, were not laughing. You were slowly releasing the breath you had been holding and trying not to let your heart thump right out of your chest.

Fuck we just dodged a bullet

You shuddered to think what would have happened had Namjoon not been able to think on his feet so quickly. As the leader of BTS, he was always on alert for situations like this and had, on more than one occasion, bailed Tae and the other guys out after they let something slip. The fact that he reacted immediately, and didn’t seem nearly as surprised as the other guys by what Tae had said, made sense given that he had recently asked Jimin if Tae was dating someone. The question now, though, was whether or not he knew that someone was you .

The game ended shortly thereafter which concluded their whole segment on the show. Once they said their goodbyes and the cameras stopped filming, the guys left the stage and began filing back into the prep room. They were all talking amongst themselves, Jin and Hobi still laughing about the ‘Jagi’ autocorrect incident which made you think they believed it had actually happened.

Tae came in last, a mixture of guilt and relief clearly written on his face. As he began walking over to you just like he always did after shows, you felt an unbelievable urge to throw your arms around him, to hold him tight and never let go. You almost did, almost couldn’t physically restrain yourself, but just as he was about to reach you someone suddenly spoke up behind you.

“Taehyung,” you heard Manager Sejin say sternly. “A word please.”

You felt your blood run cold as Tae walked by you, shooting you the briefest sideways glance before he followed Manager Sejin into the guys dressing room. As you watched the door close behind him you got a terrible sinking feeling in your stomach.

Maybe I spoke too soon

~~~

It was well after midnight when you finally got into your room and you still had not talked to Tae. He hadn’t come back out of the guy’s dressing room before you and the rest of the staff were told to get on the bus to head back to the hotel. You had been dying to text him all evening, but you were afraid he might still be with Manager Sejin so you hadn’t sent any messages. Hoping he would say something soon, you changed into your pajamas, got into bed, and waited.

To distract yourself from your ever growing anxiety, you opened up Twitter. There on your feed was clip after clip after clip of Tae and Namjoon’s exchange from the show along with cheeky captions such as ‘Autocorrect my ass. Namjoon is swooning like the rest of us’ and ‘Taehyung is a tease and flirt. What else is new’. ‘Jagi’ was also trending as was ‘TaeJoon’ and ‘Hyung’s Favorite’. You allowed yourself to relax ever so slightly; if ARMY, who saw and knew everything , bought Namjoon’s cover story that was definitely a good sign.

Just then, you heard a knock on the door leading to Tae’s room. Ecstatic to finally hear from him, you leapt out of bed, rushed to the door, undid it’s numerous locks, and yanked it open. In front of you stood a tall, handsome man...who was not Kim Taehyung.

“Taehyung sent me to talk to you,” Namjoon said calmly. “He’s still with Sejin and the other managers, but his phone is dead and he didn’t want you to worry.”

You stood there frozen, eyes wide, unable to form a coherent thought. Despite what he had just said, your first instinct was to shut the door and hide. You subconsciously began closing it, but Namjoon reached out and gently stopped you.

“Y/N, it’s OK,” he said, giving you a warm smile. “I know.”

There were a million questions you wanted to ask him about how and when he found out and what he planned to do about it, but right now there was only one thing that truly mattered.

“Do they know?” you asked, your voice trembling.

“No, they don’t,” Namjoon replied reassuringly.

Upon hearing his words, the vice that had been squeezing your lungs since the moment Manager Sejin called Taehyung’s name finally loosened.

“They don’t suspect he is dating you or anyone else,” he went on. “But, they are extremely upset with him for making what they think was a very reckless and inappropriate joke.”

“As I am sure you realized, ‘Jagi’ being the first word that came to mind for him is problematic if people think it's because he’s used to saying it and is therefore in a relationship,” he then continued. “The managers think it was careless and disrespectful of him to even jokingly mention it knowing how it could be taken and that it could cause a scandal for BTS and put people’s actual relationships in jeopardy.”

“They are accusing him of doing it just for attention,” he added with a grimace. “They think he did it knowing it will get ARMY riled up and talking about him.”

It made your heart hurt to think of Tae sitting in a room right now getting yelled at for something he didn’t even do, to have people that he deeply respects honestly thinking he would be so selfish.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make him look bad,” Namjoon then said sheepishly as if reading your thoughts. “It was just the first thing that I thought of and I knew I couldn’t afford to hesitate.”

“Please don’t apologize,” you said quickly. “I’m so grateful that you were there to help us.”

As you said those words, a realization suddenly washed over you and what had once just been a hunch now seemed so abundantly clear.

“I’m grateful for all of your help,” you then added quietly, gesturing around the room.

The bashful smile he now wore was all the confirmation you needed to know you were right: Namjoon was yours and Tae’s guardian angel, in more ways than one you realized.

“How did you do it?” you asked in bewilderment.

He hesitated for a moment, a tiny, mischievous smirk spreading across his face.

“Whenever we travel anywhere my room always has an adjoining one,” he admitted slowly. “So that Aera can secretly stay with me.”

Your mouth dropped open at his admission. Bringing a significant other on official BTS trips was absolutely against the rules. The fact that Namjoon, the group’s leader, was so boldly breaking them was shocking, but somehow also completely unsurprising.

“She usually doesn’t stay the whole time,” he explained. “But, she will come and visit for a few weeks at a time depending on how long we’re there.”

“She works remotely so she stays busy during the day and then we spend the evenings together,” he went on. “It’s obviously less than ideal, but it’s better than being away from each other for months at a time.”

“No one else knows about this,” he then added. “And, I mean no one.”

“How,” you began, looking at him in astonishment. “How have you managed to do this?”

“A good magician never reveals his secrets,” he said with a laugh before adding more seriously. “But, let’s just say it’s not as difficult as you think to hack into Big Hit’s management software.”

Hacking into the system of a multi-billion dollar company certainly sounded difficult, if not impossible, but, then again, Namjoon was a legitimate genius.

“Aera unfortunately wasn’t able to come this time, so I made a quick change and gave you two our rooms instead,” he then added.

For a couple seconds you just stood there looking at him, trying to summon the courage to ask the burning question.

“Why?” you then questioned hesitantly.

You got the sense that he understood the greater implication of your question. You weren’t just asking why he had given you two the adjoined rooms. You were asking why he was supporting your complicated, illegal relationship, why he thought it was worth breaking the rules and risking a scandal to help you two to be together. He was quiet for several moments, a thoughtful expression on his face as he studied you with a soft gaze, before finally giving a surprising reply.

“Aera is my rock,” he said with a tenderness that instantly melted your heart. “She is my calm in the eye of the storm and my solid ground when I’m drowning.”

“She is the reason I have made it this far with my health and sanity intact,” he added with a small laugh. “Why I didn’t give up years ago.”

“She is the inspiration for so many of the lyrics I write,” he continued, smiling fondly.

“But, most importantly, she is the reason why anything I do has any meaning at all,” he said softly, a light blush dusting his cheeks. “She is my everything.”

His words were so beautiful and moving that by the time he had finished speaking tears had pooled in your eyes. When he said his next words, though, those tears finally began to slide down your cheeks.

“You are Taehyung’s everything,” he said gently, giving you another warm smile.  

“That much has always been clear to me,” he went on. “Not just from the way he looks at you, but the way he looks for you in every crowded room. The way he talks to you and, even more so, the way he talks about you. They way he’s drawn to you and how he grows calmer and more confident in your presence. The fact that he’s truly become a better man since he met you.”

“Y/N, I have known Taehyung for almost 10 years and I have never seen him happier than he has been these last few months,” he continued, his smile growing wider as he spoke.

“I know the situation is challenging and stressful, and I’m not going to pretend like I have all the answers or know how everything will end up, but you have my word that I will do everything I can to support you two right now,” he then said finally.

You were so unbelievably touched by everything he had said that for a moment you were rendered speechless. The kindness and generosity he had shown both you and Tae was truly remarkable; you felt so honored to call such a wonderful person your friend.

“Thank you,” you finally managed to say. “From the bottom of my heart, thank you.”

“It’s my pleasure,” he replied kindly.

For the first time all night, you found yourself honestly believing that everything was going to be OK. Knowing that you and Tae had someone like this in your corner made the burden you’d been carrying for months feel so much lighter. It wasn’t easy, trying to build a life together like this, but with real support you felt like you could do it.

After taking a moment to compose yourself, you cleared your throat and spoke up again.

“Do you have any idea when Tae might be back?” you asked somewhat anxiously.

“I imagine soon,” he replied. “They were just waiting to hear back from Bang PD when I left. There was some important Big Hit meeting going on back in Seoul so he couldn’t be reached when they first called.”

As if by fate, you heard the door to Tae’s room open at that exact moment. You stepped past Namjoon into the room and the instant the door was closed, you ran to Tae, launching yourself into his open arms. Suddenly, he was hugging you so tightly you could hardly breathe, but you didn’t care. He was all you needed; he was your air.

It was only now that you were back safely in his arms that you realized just how terrified you’d been of losing him. The tears came immediately and before you knew it you were sobbing into his chest, clutching his shirt and trying to pull him impossibly close. He was crying too, just as hard as you, if not harder, as he slowly rocked you back and forth in his arms.

“I’m sorry, Jagi,” he said between muffled sobs. “I’m so sorry.”

“Baby, it’s OK,” you cried back. “It was just an accident.”

“But, everything is going to be OK,” you added gently.

When you said that, though, he only seemed to cry harder, his whole body shaking as sob after sob tore through him.

“N-No it’s not,” he said almost incoherently.

“It is,” you assured him soothingly. “We’ll be OK.”

He tried to say something else, but it was swallowed by another heartbreaking sob. It was starting to frighten you now, how inconsolable he was. You understood he felt guilty for the slip up, and was probably upset after being yelled at for several hours, but you couldn’t help worry that something else was wrong.

“Tae, what happened?” you asked shakily, pulling back to look at him.

You reached up and took his face in your hands, trying to get him to look you in the eyes, but he kept his eyes trained down on the floor.

“Tae,” you whispered, rubbing away his tears with your thumbs as the fear inside you grew. “Please talk to me.”

It took him several minutes to calm down enough so that he could speak and even then his voice still wavered and broke over every other word.

“Bang PD finally called,” he breathed out.

You felt your stomach drop at how scared he looked and sounded right now.

“He wants to meet as soon as we get back,” he then said quietly, his voice catching.

Your heart was breaking, absolutely shattering, as you waited for him to continue.

“So we can discuss the relationship I’ve clearly been hiding,” he finally whispered before another great heaving sob left him.

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Too Good To Be True - Ch. 33 | kth(m)

Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.

pairing: Taehyung x reader

genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: 18+

word count: 3.6k

warnings: none

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Chapter 33: No More Secrets

Even if Tae hadn’t told you he loved you, you would have been certain he did anyway after he literally drove across the country to come be with you. After you had hung up and turned off your phone, he had driven straight to your apartment, convinced you were definitely not OK. Once he realized you weren’t there, he texted Jia, having still had her phone number from when he bought the Zico concert tickets for the three of you last year. She told him you were at her apartment, he immediately asked for the address, and then started driving east.

Just like you, he’d had a revelation mid-drive: that you had heard him talking in the kitchen that morning and thought he was talking about you. He said he felt sick to his stomach when he figured it out and you believed him. That’s exactly how you had felt.

After lying in bed snuggling for a little while longer, you two finally got up and emerged from the guest bedroom. Jia was sitting on the couch casually watching TV and when she looked over and saw you two holding hands, no doubt looking all sappy and lovey-dovey, her face broke out into a smug smile.

“I would just like to say that the two of you both owe me big time,” she said as she folded her arms across her chest. “I downloaded Tinder and got this train moving.”

“She’s not wrong,” Tae said with a laugh as he gave your hand a squeeze.

“That was the push I needed to realize I couldn’t live without you anymore,” he then said shyly before giving you a kiss on the cheek which tickled and made you scrunch up your face all cutely.

“Oh my god, you two are so adorable it’s disgusting,” she then said, though, the big smile on her face told you she was anything but appalled at the sight of you so happy.

“Kim Taehyung,” she then said sternly. “I respect you for coming all the way out here and can see that you truly do love my sister, but I just need you to know that, even though you are rich and famous, I will not hesitate to kick your ass if you hurt her.”

“Understood,” Tae replied seriously, giving her a respectful nod.

The three of you chatted for a little while longer and also Facetimed with Nari who was over the moon to hear that you and Tae were together, but devastated not to be there in person. You promised her the four of you would get together soon and Tae even offered to have them both stay at the apartment which literally made Nari squeal. Eventually, though, you and Tae needed to head out since it was getting late and you both had to be at Big Hit tomorrow morning.

The two of you had obviously driven there separately, but Tae was adamant that you drove home with him since it was dark and you were tired, saying he would pay to have someone drive your car back to Seoul tomorrow. Normally you would have gotten on your feminist horse and assured him that you were more than capable of driving yourself, but the truth was that you were exhausted and it actually might not be safe for you to drive. Also, as pathetic as it was, you just didn’t want to be away from him for two and half hours, not when you were still basking in his love for you.

During your talk, you two had agreed to ‘no more secrets’, so you decided to spend the drive back to Seoul asking some difficult, but important questions. The idea of being open and vulnerable, of revealing even more of your insecurities and fears, was slightly terrifying, but you knew this was something you needed to do. You guys couldn’t afford to have another incident like the one you did this morning.

The whole situation had been one big heartbreaking misunderstanding and Tae had been absolutely right when he said that all the secrecy surrounding your relationship had played a role. You’d only been together a month, but already it was starting to take its toll: he was stressed because people were asking questions, you were insecure because he had to lie about you. It just wasn’t healthy to have to keep everything hidden and bottled up, to be made to feel guilty simply because you loved each other and wanted to be together. If you were going to make it work, you needed to work together against the ever growing number of forces trying to keep you apart. To make sure you were on the same page, pushing forward in the same direction, you needed to be honest with each other, brutally so if that’s what it took.

After getting up onto the highway and settling in, Tae reached over and took your hand, carefully lacing his fingers with yours. He brought it to his lips and gave the back of it a tender kiss and then rested your joint hands on the center console. He said he loved you, that he would still love you when you got back to Seoul, and then said he’d like to go first.

“Why is it so easy for you to doubt my feelings for you?” he asked hesitantly.

You couldn’t deny that it hurt to hear him ask that question, but you knew after everything that had happened he had every right to be concerned about this. It took you a minute or so to think through how you were going to respond. You wanted to be honest, that was the whole point of doing this, but you didn’t want to hurt him in the process.

“You know how you said on Friday, ‘I must be dreaming’?” you asked, continuing after he gave you a little nod. “That’s how I feel all the time and I’m always just so scared of waking up.”

You let the weight of that statement sink in for a few moments before you continued.

“I spent so long feeling confused about what was happening between us, and wondering if everything was all just in my head, that it's hard to believe all of this is real sometimes,” you then admitted.

Again you paused, partly to let him think about what you’d just said, but also because you needed to collect yourself before you went on.

“There were times when you would be so affectionate and protective and flirty that I was sure you felt something for me,” you started tentatively. “But then other times you would treat me like just another friend or worse, be cold and actually push me away.”

His grip on your hand tightened as your words cut through him.

“It was such an emotional rollercoaster,” you said quietly. “I didn’t think you were purposefully trying to hurt me, but it was really hard to deal with that whiplash for three years.”

You looked over at him and saw that guilt was written all over his face upon realizing that he had been the one to plant all those seeds of doubt in your head.

“I’m so sorry, Jagi,” he said, gravely. “I never meant to give you mixed signals or make it seem like I was playing with you.”

He took a deep breath and gave your hand another squeeze before he spoke again.

“I just didn’t know what to do with my feelings for you,” he admitted. “I loved you so much and I was constantly torn between trying to hide it and wanting to tell you.”

“I wanted to be with you, but I was also so scared of losing you,” he went on quietly. “I knew we weren’t allowed to be together and that the second anyone found out how I felt you would be transferred to another group or fired altogether.”

“I tried to show you how much I cared about you, and tried so many times to subtly let you know I wanted to be more than friends, but you never gave me a clear sign that you wanted to be together,” he then added. “And, I didn’t want to push you or do anything to jeopardize your job if I wasn’t absolutely sure it’s what you wanted.”

You had been looking down at your lap, playing with a string on the hem of your sweater, but when he said those words your head instantly shot up. The idea that he had been waiting for some sort of sign from you had truly never occurred to you. To you, it always seemed like the decision to pursue something more needed to come from him because he was the idol, but to him the decision needed to come from you because it was your job at risk.

“I mean, I knew you were attracted to me,” he said, giving you a little sideways smirk.

You rolled your eyes at him, but blushed nonetheless.

“And, I was pretty sure that you liked me liked me,” he went on teasingly.

At his use of elementary school terminology you couldn’t help but laugh.

“But, I didn’t know if you wanted this,” he then said more seriously, lifting up your intertwined hands. “I didn’t know you if you actually wanted a relationship with me.”

You tried to respond to him, but your mouth was filled with cotton. This was like realizing he had planned on telling you how he felt the morning after The Grammys, only infinitely worse. It wasn’t just extra months you could have been together, it was extra years. Looking back now, you realized he had given you plenty of signs that he actually wanted to be with you, but you had been too hesitant and afraid to acknowledge them at the time. It was understandable given how much you had to lose if you were wrong or if things didn’t work out, but it was heartbreaking nonetheless to know how much time had been wasted.

“Honestly, I always thought that deep down you knew how I felt about you and realized that I was waiting until we could be together,” he then said somewhat shyly. “That’s why I never dated anyone else, Jagi. I was waiting for you.”

“But, then everything with Jisoo happened and Jia downloaded Tinder and you set up that date. I knew then that I couldn’t wait anymore, that I had to make it clear how I really felt about you. Even if it was risky to get involved while you were still working at Big Hit, the risk of losing you forever was so much worse,” he said sincerely.

You sat there for a few minutes as his words washed over you again and again like waves on the sand. A part of you was frustrated, mostly at the situation in general, but also at yourself. Your instinct was to beat yourself up for being so oblivious and scared, for not seeing what was right in front of you, but you fought against it. Dwelling on what you could have done or should have done wasn’t at all productive. You were together now and that was truly all that mattered.

“I love you,” he said, pulling you from your thoughts.

“And, I’m sorry again that I confused you and made you doubt things before,” he added somberly.

“I love you too,” you replied. “And, I promise to trust you, be upfront with my feelings, and not let what happened in the past come between us now.”

For the next few minutes neither of you spoke. You just sat there together in comfortable silence, Tae’s thumb gently thumbing yours. Eventually, though, you saw him look over at you expectantly and realized it was your turn to ask an important question.

“Why don’t you want to tell the rest of the guys about us?” you asked quietly.

“I know we need to keep our relationship a secret from virtually everyone, but they are your brothers. They are the people you’re closest with, the ones you trust most in the entire world. If anyone was going to be happy for us or supportive of our relationship, wouldn’t it be them?” you then questioned.

He went to start answering your question, but you had one more thing you needed to get off your chest so you continued before he could speak.

“It just...it hurts me that you don’t want them to know,” you said finally, your voice catching just a bit. “It makes me think that you really are ashamed to be with me.”

He looked so hurt when you said that, which made your heart absolutely ache, but you knew he needed to know the truth about how you felt. That was the only way the two of you were going to move forward and make this work.

“Jagi, I’m so sorry that I’ve made you feel that way,” he said sadly. “That was not at all my intention.”

“Please believe me when I say that I could never be ashamed to be with you,” he then added.

“I do want to tell them. I want to tell everyone. I want to post a picture of you on Twitter and tell the whole world ‘This is my beautiful, talented, amazing girlfriend who I have been in love with for three years and finally get to be with.’,” he said with a smile.

You felt all warm and fuzzy inside hearing him call you his girlfriend for the first time.

“But, I’m afraid that telling the guys will be like opening up the floodgates,” he went on. “If I know that they know about us, I’m going to want to talk about you all the time. I’m going to want to tell them all the cute things you do and say, brag about your cooking and how you take such good care of me, ask them for relationship advice when things inevitably get hard.”

“Only, it wouldn’t be like keeping Namjoon-hyung’s wife or Jimin’s girlfriend a secret from ARMY where we just have to be careful in public. We would have to be careful all the time and I just...I don’t trust myself not to say something in front of the wrong person,” he finally admitted with a sigh.

What he said made complete sense. The guys were constantly surrounded by staff members, were always in front of cameras or hooked up to microphones. If something ever slipped out, it’s not like it could just be edited out before ARMY saw the final product. By that point it would already be too late.

“I do want to tell them,” he reiterated, giving your hand a squeeze. “And, I promise we will soon. I just need to make sure I can handle it first, that I can contain all this love I have for you.”

“My parents are the only people I’ve told so far because I know all my conversations with them are private,” he then added.

You felt your heart do a little somersault.

“You told your parents?” you asked with a shy smile.

“Of course,” he replied immediately. “They’ve known all along how I felt about you.”

You sat there in stunned silence, a huge, silly grin on your face.

“I went to visit them about a month after you started at Big Hit,” he began bashfully. “It took my Mom all of five minutes to decide I had a crush on my new stylist and another hour to realize that I was legitimately in love with her.”

“They can’t wait to meet you,” he then said, turning and giving you a big smile.

And now your heart was doing a full Olympic gymnastics routine.

You guys spent the rest of the drive asking each other more questions that had been on your minds since you’d started dating. Tae asked if it made you upset that he was so flirty with ARMY on stage and on social media and you said honestly that it didn’t. You understood it was part of his job and had learned to be OK with it even before you were together. Now that you were sure he loved you, you knew it would bother you even less. You asked him if he would be upset if you told Eunji and Donghae you were casually dating on Tinder since they had already asked if you were seeing someone. He said that was fine, but that he would prefer you not download the app again, even if it was only for show, saying with an innocent smile that he just didn’t think it was fair to have the men of Tinder getting their hopes up that you might one day be theirs.

He asked if you wanted to officially move in once you got back from America and you couldn’t say yes fast enough. He offered to pay off the rest of your apartment lease so you could move out of it entirely, but you said you’d prefer to keep paying it yourself until it was up. That then led to a larger discussion about finances which was far less uncomfortable than you thought it would be. You explained that one of your worries was being accused of using him for his money as well as his fame. He assured you that he knew you absolutely were not and then said he would vehemently deny those accusations if they ever came about. You also told him it made you uncomfortable to be living at the apartment and not be contributing at all to living expenses so you guys agreed to split costs for everyday things like groceries or takeout or movie rentals.

All in all, it was a really productive conversation, one you probably should have had sooner, to be honest. Had you begun dating under normal circumstances like virtually everyone else on the planet, you probably would have gone over some of these things right from the start, but, alas, your situation was quite unique.

You were back within the Seoul city limits, and were only about fifteen minutes away from home, when something else popped into your head.

“Tae,” you began hesitantly. “What is your biggest fear when it comes to our relationship?”

He did not hesitate with his answer which told you this was something he had clearly already thought a lot about.

“Aside from someone finding out about us and you being taken away from me, my biggest fear is that someone will try to hurt you,” he said, bringing your hand into his lap protectively. “That they’ll threaten you or try to use you to get to me.”

You felt a little shiver go up your spine when he said that. The idea that you were now some kind of target wasn’t something you had really considered, but thinking back to everything that Namjoon’s wife, Aera, had gone through, you realized that you absolutely were.

“For obvious reasons we have to keep our relationship a secret from Big Hit, but because of that you don’t get the protection you should be getting as my girlfriend,” he continued solemnly.

“Everyone else’s partners have security teams that check in on them and make sure they aren’t being followed or their apartments aren’t being watched,” he went on. “If any of them ever feel unsafe for any reason, they can call Big Hit security directly and get help right away.”

“But, you can’t do that,” he then said quietly. “And that makes me feel incredibly nervous and also extremely guilty.”

“I don’t want you to be scared, though, Jagi,” he said after a moment, tightening his grip on your hand. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you. I promise I’ll always keep you safe and take care of you.”

You had been ever so slightly scared before he said that, but his reassurance was all the comfort you needed to relax; you knew with absolute certainty that he would do whatever it took to keep that promise.

“What about you?” he then asked. ”What is your biggest fear?”

Unlike him, you didn’t respond right away. It wasn’t because you didn’t already know what your biggest fear was, but because you were afraid of sharing it with him, even after everything you had just talked about.

“Jagi, you can tell me,” he said reassuringly, sensing your apprehension. “Whatever it is.”

You took a deep breath, hoping what you were about to say wouldn’t undo all the progress you had made over the last two plus hours.

“My biggest fear is that one day, once everything with BTS has settled down and you have more time and freedom to do things and go places and meet people, you will leave me because you realized that you never actually wanted to be with me, but that you just wanted to be with someone and I was the most convenient option,” you rushed out, not even realizing you had started to tear up while you were talking.

As the car came to a halt at a red light, Tae let go of your hand and instead brought it up to cup your cheek.

“Look at me, Jagi,” he said gently.

You turned to him and found him looking at you with the most tender, loving expression.

“You are not convenient,” he said, stroking your cheek and brushing away the one tear that had escaped. “You are perfect, truly the woman of my dreams. You are all I have ever wanted, all I will ever want.”

“I promise I’m never going to leave,” he then said softly before leaning over to give you a sweet kiss.

And in that moment you trusted, with all your heart, that he would keep that promise too.

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Too Good To Be True - Ch. 32 | kth(m)

Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.

pairing: Taehyung x reader

genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: 18+

word count: 3.0k

warnings: cursing

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Chapter 32: Lost And Found

After leaving Tae’s, you drove straight to your older sister Jia’s apartment, not even bothering to text or call her ahead of time. She lived in Gangneung, a city on the coast about two and half hours east of Seoul. When she opened the door to find you standing on her front step, tears streaming down your face, she didn’t even bat an eye. She just stepped forward, wrapped you in a hug, and told you ‘It’s going to be OK’.

Your first instinct had been to drive home to Busan, but at the last second you decided against it. If you showed up there randomly after having visited just two weeks ago, your Dad would have immediately known something was up. As much as you loved him, and as close as the two of you were, you weren’t sure you were ready to explain everything to him.

You had never specifically talked to your dad about your feelings for Tae, but you got the sense he might already know there was something going on between you two. The first time you visited him after coming home from your last trip to America, he had asked if you ever found out who sent you those dark chocolate-covered strawberries on Valentine’s Day. At first you deflected the question, and pretended like you had no idea, but eventually you told him that you thought it might have been Tae. You tried not to seem too hopeful or excited when you said it, but the knowing look your dad gave you made it pretty clear he saw right through your nonchalance. He didn’t call you out, though, he just smiled and said, ‘Whoever it was must care a lot about you’.

The memory of those dark chocolate-covered strawberries, and the ones Tae made himself just last weekend, were two in an infinite list of memories that began weighing heavily on your mind as you drove east: the song, him protecting you from Hyun, your night in the studio, the music box, him sticking up for you to Mrs. Choi, that evening on the beach, how respectful and generous he was when you were intimate, him giving you the bed the night of The Grammys, the Tatas, all the tender kisses he’d given you over the last month.

The more you thought about everything, the more unlikely it seemed that the kind, sweet man you had come to know and trust and love over the last three years was the fake Kim Taehyung and that the selfish, cruel one you thought you heard in the kitchen this morning was the real one. Things just didn’t add up, but the panic-stricken version of yourself from earlier in the day unfortunately hadn’t been able to see that.

About halfway through the drive you had a revelation so horrifying that you had to pull over to let yourself fully comprehend it:

What if he was talking about someone else?

A half hour later, just as you were about to get off at your sister’s exit, another alarming thought entered your mind:

I doubted him like this once before and was completely wrong

When you pulled into your sister’s driveway, and took out your phone to check the messages you had received while you were driving, your regret and guilt only grew.

[Taehyung 1:34 PM] Jagi, can I please come pick you up and take you home?

[Taehyung 1:36 PM] I never should have let you leave. If you’re sick I need to take care of you. I need to make you tea and feed you soup and bring you extra blankets and give you medicine so you can get better soon.

[Taehyung 1:40 PM] I know you’re worried about getting me sick, and I appreciate so much that you are so thoughtful and so selfless, but taking care of you and making sure you’re healthy and safe and happy is my priority.

[Taehyung 1:45 PM] I don’t want you to ever think that my job with BTS is more important than you. You will always come first, Jagi.

[Taehyung 2:03 PM] I realize you’re probably asleep right now, but please call me when you wake up so I can come get you.

As you sat there, reading and rereading his loving messages, you felt an awful, terrible sinking feeling in your stomach. What if you had gotten it wrong? What if he truly was talking about someone else and it was all just a big misunderstanding?

As soon as you got inside you spilled the whole story to Jia, right up to and including the awful events from earlier that day. When she, the same woman who had once called Tae ‘The biggest fucking idiot to walk the Earth’, said that you might have overreacted and jumped to conclusions, you knew you had just made the biggest mistake of your life.

You felt your heart shattering into a million pieces for the second time today, but this time the pain was infinitely worse. You had to tell him, had to come clean, but you didn't know what to say. You didn’t know how to even begin to apologize for the awful things you’d let yourself believe about him, for how terribly you’d treated him that morning.

Jia encouraged you to call him and just try to explain everything, but you honestly didn’t know if you could get the words out. This felt like a conversation you should have in person, but you were unfortunately now hours away from him. You knew you couldn’t ignore him forever, though, so you finally called him to at least apologize for lying and leaving.

“Hi, Jagi,” he said after answering right away.

“Hi, Tae,” you said, your voice immediately breaking when you said his name.

“Jagi, why are you crying?” he said in alarm. “Do you feel that sick?”

You took a couple deep breaths before you finally felt calm enough to speak.

“I-I’m not sick,” you replied shamefully. “I lied and said I was, but I’m not.”

“You were right. I was upset about something,” you said shakily. “But I was wrong about it and made a big mistake.”

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry for lying and leaving,” you said through a sob. “I’m so sorry for everything.”

“Jagi, it’s OK,” he said soothingly. “Whatever it is we can talk about it.”

“I don’t think I can talk about it now,” you said honestly as the shame continued to build inside you.

“I’ll come home tomorrow and we can talk then,” you added with a sniffle.

“I just needed you to know I’m so sorry and I appreciate everything you do for me,” you then added as more tears poured down your face. “You’re so good to me and I don’t deserve you.”

“Don’t say that, Jagi,” he said, sounding genuinely hurt that you would even say such a thing.

“Please let me come take you home now,” he then pleaded. “I hate that you’re so upset and I’m not with you.”

“I just...I can’t come home yet,” you said, feeling guiltier by the second with how kind and understanding he was being.

Every sweet, gentle word he said now only made it all the more obvious just how ridiculous it had been for you to think those terrible things about him. Overcome with a new wave of shame and regret, you began to cry even harder.

“I-I have to go now,” you said almost incoherently. “I promise we’ll talk tomorrow.”

“I’m sorry again, Tae,” you finally said before ending the call.

At that you turned off your phone, went into the guest bedroom, and cried yourself to sleep wondering how you were ever going to gather up the courage to go home and tell him the truth.

~~~

You woke sometime later to the sound of a soft knock on the bedroom door. Glancing at your phone on the nightstand, you saw it was almost 7:00 PM and realized you had been asleep for over three hours. Given the exhausting day you’d had, it honestly wasn’t all that surprising you’d slept so long.

“Come in,” you mumbled from beneath the blankets after you heard another knock.

“Someone is here to see you,” Jia said quietly.

Thinking there was only one person who she could possibly be referring to, you waited to hear the voice of your younger sister, Nari, but it surprisingly never came.

“Hi Jagi,” a familiar deep voice called out instead.

Your heart momentarily stopped.

“Tae?” you replied shakily as you lifted your head up to look at him, unwilling to let yourself believe he was actually there unless you saw him with your own two eyes.

“It’s me,” he said softly as he came and sat down on the edge of the bed.

It was him. He was really there. You were lost, but he had come and found you. You had no idea how, but you didn’t care. You were so happy and relieved to see him that tears welled up in your eyes.

“Can I lay down with you?” he asked gently.

“Of course,” you replied, hating that he felt like he had to ask because of how you had treated him this morning, how you had pushed him away.

He took off his jacket, lifted up the covers, and laid down next to you so he was facing you. He kept a bit of space between you two, but he reached out and took your hand. After bringing it to his lips and giving it a gentle kiss, he laid it back down on the bed. For a few minutes he didn’t say anything, he just rubbed your thumb with his and stared into your eyes longingly.

“Did you hear me talking on the phone this morning?” he asked quietly.

You nodded and there was another silence before he spoke again.

“Did you think I was talking about you?” he then asked in a softer, almost fearful voice.

You nodded your head again as a few tears finally escaped.

“Oh, Jagi,” he whispered as he squeezed your hand, the pain in his voice unmistakable. “I’m so sorry.”

“I was talking about Jisoo, ” he admitted sorrowfully. “Jungkook called and asked if she was the woman I have been secretly dating.”

“I guess he has seen me talking to her recently around Big Hit which is why he thought she might be my new girlfriend,” he then added.

You did not realize Tae had been talking to Jisoo again and the confusion must have shown on your face because he immediately continued.

“I want to re-record ‘Sweet Night’ with someone else on backing vocals,” he explained. “I wrote that song for you and it just feels all wrong having her on it after everything she did and how awful she’s always been to you.”

“But, because she unfortunately did get credited, I need her permission to change it,” he went on frustratedly. “So I have been sucking up to her and jumping through all her hoops to get her to agree.”

“I didn’t say anything about it because I wanted it to be a surprise,” he then said. “You’ve never asked to listen to the actual song and I couldn’t help but wonder if it was because she is on it.”

He was right. You loved when he sang ‘Sweet Night’ for you, but you purposefully had never asked to hear the actual recorded version. Obviously, you would have listened to it once it was released, but you knew it would always be somewhat tainted because Jisoo was on it and therefore weren’t all that excited to hear it.

“Everything makes so much sense now,” you said quietly as a wave of embarrassment washed over you.

Someone asking about Jisoo was completely logical given how much time they had spent together and how hard she pushed their public image when they first recorded the song. You honestly could not believe that you hadn’t immediately thought of her as the person he was likely talking about.

“Jagi, I know what I said must have been really hurtful at the time, but why didn’t you just talk to me?” he asked a few moments later.

“I-I don’t know,” you replied, reaching up to wipe away a few more tears that had trickled out. “I just panicked.”

“I was just so overwhelmed it was hard to think straight,” you then admitted with a sniffle.

He was quiet then for a couple minutes and you could tell that he was thinking deeply about something. By the time he spoke again, he wore an extremely pained expression that made your heart absolutely ache.

“When I said I wanted something, and you thought I was talking about you, did you think…,” he started before his voice broke and he had to take a moment to collect himself. “Did you think I only wanted you for your body?”

You didn’t respond, but from the look on your face he must have known he guessed correctly. Upon realizing this, upon realizing you legitimately thought he was just using you for sexual pleasure, the first few tears began rolling down his face.

“Jagi, it breaks my heart that you thought I would do that to you,” he said in the saddest, smallest voice you’ve ever heard. “That I would disrespect you and hurt you like that.”

“I’m so sorry,” you whispered as tears started pouring down your cheeks.  

As you looked at him, and saw his beautiful features twisted into an expression of such agony, an overwhelming amount of shame and regret crashed down upon you. All you could think was that he’s never going to want to be with you now. Not after this. Not when he sees that you’re more trouble than you’re worth. He was nothing but wonderful to you, literally gave you everything, and you repaid him by jumping to conclusions and assuming the absolute worst of him.

“I’m sorry for everything,” you said before a great heaving sob finally left you.

Unable to face him any longer, unable to continue staring at the wreckage that you caused, you flipped over and turned away from him. You were sure that any second now he was going to get up and leave. He was going to tell you he wanted you out of his life for good and you wouldn’t even blame him for it. All of this was your fault. You ruined it. You had everything you ever wanted, but you ruined it with your insecurity.

You realized at once that the pain you felt this morning when your own heart was broken was nothing in comparison to the pain of knowing you had broken the heart of the person you loved most. Doubting him like this, and letting yourself believe he could be so cruel, was by far the worst thing you’d ever done in your entire life and you honestly didn’t know how you were ever going to recover from it.

You suddenly felt like you couldn’t breathe, like the room was spinning and you were falling and you couldn’t breathe, but then Tae’s arms were wrapping around you and pulling you close. Back in his warm embrace, where you had come to feel so safe and secure, you finally started to calm down. The weight on your chest lifted and you began breathing, slow, deep, steady breaths.

You were OK. He wasn’t leaving. He hadn’t given up on you.

“Jagi, it’s OK,” he said gently as he hugged you tighter. “I know you were just hurt and scared.”

“It was my fault to begin with,” he added guiltily. “I should have realized how that would have sounded to you and been more careful.”

“I’m sorry that this is all so hard,” he then said after a minute. “Having a secret relationship, all the hiding and the lying. I know it makes it so much harder to trust and feel OK about everything.”

“I know we can do it, though,” he went on hopefully. “We just need to always be honest with each other.”

“No more secrets, OK?” he added finally.

“No more secrets,” you repeated as you snuggled deeper into his embrace.

The two of you laid there like that for a while, both emotionally and physically exhausted after the incredibly trying day you’d had. After a bit Tae began humming softly in your ear, knowing it always helped calm you down, but eventually he stopped. You thought perhaps he might have fallen asleep, but then he stirred and broke the silence.

“I love you,” he said quietly as he pressed a gentle kiss to your shoulder.

I love you

Of all the ways you imagined him saying those three words to you for the first time, you’d never imagined it would happen like this. You thought he would say it during a moment that was perfect and idyllic, not after this whole mess where you had made a huge mistake and deeply hurt him. You realized, though, that him choosing to say them now was so much more romantic and meaningful than what you had imagined. He was telling you that he loved you even at your worst, insecurities and imperfections and all.

You turned in his arms to face him and found him looking at you with a hesitant smile.

“I love you, too,” you told him before gently kissing the tip of his nose.

“I have loved you for three years,” you then admitted shyly.

“What a coincidence,” he said as his little smile grew into a big grin. “I have loved you for three years.”

When he kissed you then, slowly and tenderly, like he had done so many times before, you found yourself in a state of utter bliss knowing with absolute certainty what he was telling you every time his lips brushed yours.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

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