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Too Good To Be True - Ch. 18 | kth(m)

Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.

pairing: Taehyung x reader

genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: 18+

word count: 2.6k

warnings: cursing

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Chapter 18: Nowhere To Be Seen

It was Monday morning and you were tired and incredibly hungover. Your sisters had visited for the weekend to celebrate your birthday and, after spending most of your time lazing about and relaxing together, things had gotten a bit wild last night. You had been stealthily evading their questions about your love life all weekend until last night after dinner when they cornered you. 

Done with your bullshit about wanting to ‘focus on yourself and your career’, they demanded to know who you were so obviously hung up on that you hadn’t dated in years. Unfortunately for you, dinner had included just enough margaritas that, for the first time ever, you uttered your deepest, darkest secret to another human being: ‘I am in love with Kim Taehyung’.  

Your younger sister just sat there with a stunned look on her face, but your older sister leapt to her feet and shouted, ‘AHA! I KNEW IT!’ The cat finally out of the bag, you then spent the next hour pouring your heart out to them, recounting every wonderful, awful, confusing moment you and Tae had shared over the last three years. You ended your story with the most recent and heartbreaking development: that you were all but certain he and Jisoo were now dating. You cried pretty much the entire time and when you were finished your older sister did three things. She called him ‘the biggest fucking idiot to ever walk the Earth’, she opened up a bottle of wine and handed it to you, sans glass, and she stole your phone and downloaded Tinder. 

While you drank away your sorrows, the two of them set up your profile and rambled on about how you needed to move on and find someone who was legally available for you to date. You honestly don’t remember much after that, but you do recall seeing them huddled around your phone, your older sister furiously swiping back and forth across the screen.

When you woke up with this morning feeling like absolute death, you had completely forgotten about the little fire icon sitting in the corner of your home screen. You shared a quick breakfast with your sisters before dropping them off at the train station on your way into work. As you drove, you couldn’t help but wonder if telling your sisters about Tae was the best or worst decision you’d ever made. 

On one hand, it was mortifying to have finally admitted everything; your years-long unrequited love sounded even more pathetic when you said it out loud. But, on the other hand, confessing to your sisters had forced you to take a good, hard look at the situation and see things in a new light. You had just spent the last three years pining after him and for what? You had never been more than a good friend to him, these days it didn’t feel like you two were even friends at all, and he was now with someone else. There truly was no reason to keep waiting and hoping.

When you walked into the studio a few minutes later you found him already in his chair, looking longingly at his reflection in the mirror. The previous Friday he and the rest of the guys had gone to the salon to have their hair redone for the new single’s music video. After a lengthy debate about what style would best fit the concept, he had decided to make a rather drastic change: gone was his black, fluffy, permed mop and in its place was a golden brown mullet. 

This was the first time you were seeing it and honestly it was a little shocking. He just didn’t look like your Tae anymore, but, then again, he hadn’t really been your Tae for a while now. 

“Wow,” you said walking up to him. “I almost didn’t recognize you.”

“I hardly even recognize me,” he said mournfully. 

He ran his hands through his hair a couple times, shuffling around his bangs and pulling at the strands on the nape of his neck.

“Does it look OK?” he then asked, sounding genuinely worried.

You couldn’t help but find it slightly ironic that he had been the one to push for this, but was now the one questioning it. He never really did seem to know exactly what he wanted.

“It looks great,” you assured him. “It’s just different, that’s all.”

As you said this, you felt your phone buzz in your pocket. Pulling it out, you found a new notification from Tinder which you just now remembered your sister’s had downloaded.

“Congratulations! You’ve got a new match!”

Looking back up at Tae through the mirror, you felt a pang in your chest. You loved him, you would probably always love him, but your sisters were right: it was time to move on.

“But, that’s OK,” you then added softly as you tore your gaze away from him and clicked on the notification. “Sometimes change is for the best.”

~~~

Later that day, you responded to the Tinder notification and set up a date with a guy named Minho for that Friday evening. You spent all week messaging back and forth with him to get to know him a little better beforehand. At first you were really nervous, it had literally been years since you’d openly flirted with someone and you felt incredibly rusty and awkward, but you found he was really easy to talk to. He was funny and kind and seemed genuinely interested in learning about you. Every time you heard your phone buzz in your pocket you felt a little flutter knowing it was likely him asking another question or saying something sweet.

When Friday night finally rolled around, you were surprised to find that you were legitimately excited. You were having dinner at a restaurant downtown not far from Big Hit so you decided to just go straight there after work. Once you were sure everyone had left for the day, you got changed into your flirty, but tasteful dress, threw on your heels, and started getting ready.

A half hour later you were standing at your mirror putting the finishing touches on your makeup when suddenly the door to the studio opened. To your absolute horror, in walked Tae who had his headphones in and was staring intently down at his phone. He was so immersed in whatever he was looking at that he walked all the way to the closet without realizing you were there.

He grabbed whatever he had apparently come to get and then turned back towards the door. As he was walking out he finally looked up and saw you standing there. He stopped dead in his tracks and for a few moments just stood there staring at you, his eyes wide as his gaze traveled over you several times.

“Y/N,” he finally said, snapping out of his daze and giving you a smile. “What are you still doing here?”

“I’m...uhh...just getting ready to go somewhere,” you replied, trying to sound casual despite the fact that your heart was racing. He was the last person you wanted to see right now.

“Must be a really special occasion if you’re wearing heels,” he said with a laugh. “I know how much you hate them.” 

You gave him a smile, but didn’t say anything. 

“You um...you look really pretty,” he then added shyly, looking down at the floor as he spoke. 

Under any other circumstances you would have been absolutely ecstatic to receive such a compliment from him, but right now all you could focus on was the dread building inside you. It was stupid to feel this way, you weren’t doing anything wrong, but the idea of him realizing you were going on a date made you nauseous. Despite not being with him, having never been with him, it still felt like some sort of betrayal.

“Thanks,” you said, giving him another small smile before turning away to rummage in your makeup bag for something. 

Realizing that you were busy and that he had interrupted you, he cleared his throat and took a couple steps backward. 

“I’ll let you finish getting ready,” he then said casually. “I hope you have a nice night.”

“Thanks,” you muttered again.

You heard his footsteps heading towards the door and were just about to breathe out a massive sigh of relief when suddenly he stopped and turned around. You couldn’t see him, but you could just feel it dawning on him, could feel the atmosphere in the room shifting. 

“Are you going on a date?” he asked hesitantly.

For a moment you didn’t say anything. You just stood there, eyes closed as you clutched the tube of lipstick in your hand.

“Yea, I am,” you replied nervously, still not looking at him.

A beat of silence passed.

“With who?” he then questioned, the surprise in his voice evident. 

The way he said that was like a punch in the gut. It was like he couldn’t imagine a single person on the face of the Earth who would want to go out with you. 

“Someone I met on Tinder,” you answered, this time with a bit more confidence, as you finally turned to face him.

“Tinder?” he choked out, looking at you in disbelief. “Since when are you on Tinder?”

His astonishment that he didn’t already know this was truly baffling. When would you have had the opportunity to talk to tell him about it? You two hardly talked about anything outside of work these days, much less something as personal as this. 

“Since last weekend when my sisters made me a profile,” you said casually. 

“I decided to give it a try and got a match the first day,” you added with a slight edge to your voice. 

A minute or so then passed without either of you speaking. You just stood there, fingers fidgeting with the hem of your dress, while you watched his shocked expression morph into one of annoyance.

“Do you have to get ready here?” he asked, an obvious bite to his tone.

“Yea, actually, I do,” you said defensively. “The fitting for your upcoming solo photoshoot took so long that I don’t have time to go home.”

“I’m already running late as it is,” you added curtly as you turned to the mirror to put on your lipstick. 

By the time you finished and turned back to face him a minute later he was full on glaring at you, his jaw tightly set.

“Is this why your phone has been blowing up all week? Because you’ve been talking to some guy?” he asked.

“Maybe,” you huffed. “What does it matter to you?”

“It’s been annoying and distracting,” he replied irritatedly. 

“Well it’s annoying and distracting having Jisoo hanging around all the time, but you don’t see me complaining,” you snapped back.

He scoffed and shot you a stern look.

“That’s not even remotely the same situation,” he replied sharply.

“Oh really?” you questioned, incredulous that he was playing dumb right now.

“She comes by to talk about work!” he said emphatically, throwing his hands in the air.

“Right,” you replied with a humorless laugh. “And I’m just headed out to a meeting.”

He opened his mouth to respond to you, but then quickly shut it as a wave of realization seemed to wash over him. At the same time, though, you were having a realization of your own: your raging jealousy was on full display right now. You needed to end this conversation now and get out of here before you made even more of a fool of yourself than you already had.   

“Wait, Y/N did you think-,” he started.

“I have to go,” you said hurriedly, cutting him off mid-sentence. “I’m going to be late.”

“I’m sorry that my phone was bothering you,” you added as you gathered your things and hastily dropped them into your bag.

At once, his hard, angry expression from a moment ago softened into one of guilt and concern.

“Wait, please don’t leave like this,” he said in alarm, taking a couple steps towards you.

“I’ll be sure to keep my personal life out of the studio from now on,” you continued as you brushed past him.

“Y/N, please,” he said desperately, reaching out to stop you by taking your hand. “I’m so sorry for what I said.”

He waited for you to turn and look at him before he spoke again. 

“I’m just worried about you,” he went on nervously, running his free hand through his hair. “I mean, who is this guy you’re meeting? What do you really even know about him?”

“Tae,” you sighed, the fight suddenly draining out of you. “I’ll be fine.”

“You’re not going to his apartment, are you?” he continued, panic rising in his voice. 

“We’re just getting dinner,” you said tiredly.

He was quiet for a couple moments, seemingly relieved that you were going to a public place, before he spoke again.

“I’m still worried,” he said shakily. “It’s not safe to meet a total stranger at night.”

“I-I don’t want you to go,” he then added quietly.

He said that so sincerely, his face colored with such genuine worry, but you found yourself wholly unaffected. A month ago you had swooned over his protectiveness, but now it just left you feeling hollow. It was so unfair for him to just pick and choose when to give a shit about you. Where was this interest in your life and concern for your wellbeing over the last month? Nowhere. It was nowhere to be seen, just like him.

“Tae, you don’t really have the right to worry about me or anything I do anymore,” you said sadly. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” he asked in a confused and hurt voice. “Of course I do. Friends worry about each other and look out for one another.”

“Friends also talk and make time for each other and remember important things,” you replied, your voice starting to break. “You don’t do any of those things anymore.”

“Y/N, what are you talking about?” he questioned frantically. “We talk. We talk every day. I know things have been crazy with the comeback and the single and the song, but I still see you. And, I remember things. I remember that you just resigned your lease and that you got your first speeding ticket two weeks ago and that your sisters visited you last weekend.”

“Do you know why they visited?” you questioned slowly.

As he stood there thinking, his dark eyes searching yours, you realized that he was still holding your hand. Instinctively, you went to pull it away, but he stopped you, his fingers tightening around yours like a vice as the realization hit him. His eyes went wide and he opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. He was frozen, speechless, utterly stunned.

“Even Mrs. Choi wished me ‘Happy Birthday’,” you said quietly as the first couple tears spilled down your cheeks. You then gently pulled your hand away and started walking towards the door. 

“Y/N, wait,” he called out just as you were about to step out into the hall.

You stopped and slowly turned around, giving him a blank look. 

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, the guilt etched deeply into his face. “I am so, so sorry.”

“I’m sure you are,” was all you said in reply before you turned back around and left. 

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Too Good To Be True - Ch. 19 | kth(m)

Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.

pairing: Taehyung x reader

genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: 18+

word count: 2.5k

warnings: cursing

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Chapter 19: Talk To The Tatas - Part 1

You almost bailed on your date. Almost. After sobbing in the car in the parking garage for the second time in two weeks, you almost said fuck it and just drove home.

But, you didn’t. You pulled yourself together, stopped at a gas station to redo your makeup, and showed up at that restaurant.

Only Minho never came.

Worse than that, he never even called or texted to say he wasn’t coming. You messaged him a few times when you first arrived to let him know you were there, but he didn’t respond. After an hour of waiting alone at the bar, your phone finally buzzed, but it wasn’t Minho that texted you.

[Taehyung 7:56 PM] I’ve tried so hard not to text you because you’re on your date and I know I shouldn’t be bothering you, but I just needed to tell you again that I’m so incredibly sorry for everything. Hurting you and making you cry is the worst thing I’ve ever done in my entire life. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to make it up to you, but I promise I’m going to try.

[Taehyung 8:08 PM] I know I don’t have the right to ask, but could you please just let me know when you get home? I won’t be able to sleep until I know you’re safe.

On the verge of spilling fresh tears, and realizing Minho was not coming, you finally gave up and went home.

Once there you then laid in bed crying, out of embarrassment or frustration or love sickness, you didn't know, until it was late enough to pretend like you’d just gotten home from your date. You had no idea what to say to Tae, but you knew you needed to say something; he absolutely would stay up all night worrying if you didn’t. At a complete loss for words, you sent the only thing that made sense at the time.

[11:25 PM] 🏠

Not thirty seconds later he responded.

[Taehyung 11:26 PM] 💜

The purple heart was Tae’s most commonly used emoji. As the one who coined the phrase, ‘I Purple You’, he was the reason it had become a BTS symbol. He sent it all the time, and to everyone, so it had long lost its novelty, had long since made your own real heart flutter, but him sending it just now felt particularly meaningful.

Even though you were fighting, even though you’d both said hurtful things and you’d walked out on him and ignored his apology, he still cared. With that tiny, comforting thought, you finally fell asleep.

~~~

Tae didn't say anything the rest of the weekend, but you weren’t surprised, nor did you blame him. You hadn’t even sent a one word answer to his apology, you sent a one emoji answer, so he clearly thought that you wanted space. Part of you did, you were still worried he’d realized how jealous you were of Jisoo and were now also mortified for him to know you’d been stood up, but part of you wanted nothing more than text him or call him or just show up at his freaking apartment. Even though he’d hurt you, and you’d then pushed him away, he was still the person you wanted and needed most right now.

You were incredibly nervous come Monday, still unsure what to say or how to act, but it ended up not mattering. The guys had dance practice all morning and then meetings all afternoon so you didn’t actually see him once all day.

Later that afternoon you were in the studio trying and failing to focus on the words contained in the email you had just received from Mrs. Choi. For reasons you will never understand, she had picked your concept proposal for the Dynamite music video. It was a huge opportunity, one you were incredibly excited about, but it was going to mean a lot of extra work. Honestly, though, that wasn’t a bad thing. Now more than ever you needed a distraction.

Around 4:00 you stepped out to grab coffee from the café on the first floor of the building. Their macchiatos weren’t the best, but they were cheap and convenient. Your body was so addicted to them that it preemptively crashed around 3:45 PM every day in anticipation for the boost to come.

You were only gone for about fifteen minutes, but when you opened the door to the studio the room looked completely different.

Spread out all over the place, on top of chairs and the couch and the counters and the floor, were no less than twenty five Tata plushies, each one with a balloon attached to one hand and a Post-it Note stuck to the other.

Most of the balloons were birthday themed; there was a big ‘2’ and a big ‘6’, cake and champagne bottle-shaped ones, and ones of all different colors and patterns that said ‘Happy Birthday’. But, there were also some random ones including a character from your favorite anime show, a tube of lipstick, and one regular balloon that had a picture of a lady with a striking resemblance to Mrs. Choi drawn on it in permanent marker.

As you walked in and got closer to the Tatas, you realized you couldn’t read what was written on any of the Post-it Notes, not because the words were too small or too messy, but because they were all written in English.

You were standing there in the middle of the room, mouth agape, trying to wrap your head around what you were seeing, when suddenly you heard a voice, your favorite deep, husky voice, start singing behind you.

Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday dear Y/N Happy birthday to you

You turned around to see Tae standing in the doorway. He was holding another Tata in one hand and a small gift bag in the other. Attached to his Tata was a polka dot balloon that said ‘I’m Sorry’ on it and a Post-it Note that you guessed probably said the same. His smile was small and hesitant at first, but instantly grew when he saw that you were positively beaming.

“Tae...what is all this?” you asked in amazement as you gestured around the room.

“This is your slightly belated birthday present and very belated apology,” he said sheepishly.

You looked around the room again as a million questions ran through your mind. How had he managed to get all this stuff over the weekend? Where in the building had he been hiding all of this? How did he set everything up in only fifteen minutes?

You turned back to look at him, an amazed and wonderfully confused look on your face, to find him staring at you with his big, boxy Kim Taehyung smile.

“So, do you want your present first or do you want to talk to the Tatas first?” he asked excitedly.

“Talk to the Tatas?” you repeated with a laugh.

“All of the Tatas have a special message for you, but they only speak English so I have to translate for them,” he said matter-of-factly.

In that moment you were simply blown away by the creativity, cleverness, and uniqueness of his big, beautiful brain.

“Talk to the Tatas,” you said happily. “I definitely want to talk to the Tatas first.”

“Ok then we’ll start with this Tata right here,” he said as he gestured to the one in his hand.

“This Tata is so incredibly sorry for everything. He’s sorry that he forgot your birthday. He’s sorry for making you feel bad about your date. He’s sorry that he hasn’t been a good friend to you lately. And, he’s so, so sorry that he made you cry,” he said sincerely, looking you in the eye as he spoke.

You went to respond, but found that you couldn’t. A little lump had formed in your throat and it rendered you speechless, lest you begin sobbing.

“There’s a lot more that I have to say and explain,” he went on. “But for now I just want you to know that I am so sorry for hurting you.”

“Thanks, Tae,” you finally managed to get out. “I really appreciate you saying that.”

You gave him a small smile as you dabbed at your eyes with the sleeve of your sweater. He returned your smile, but you could see that he too had gotten a bit emotional. The two of you took a moment to breath and compose yourselves before heading off towards the next Tata.

Around the room you went ‘talking’ to all the different Tatas. Their messages were a mixture of serious and funny, heartfelt and ridiculous, but each of them was so incredibly Tae . Some of your favorites included:

You’re the best stylist ever.

I’m a jerk (who is very sorry).

YOU’RE SO OLD NOW.

Mrs. Choi smells like dead cats.

I missed you.

By the time you got to the last Tata, your stomach hurt from laughing and your heart felt light as a feather. For the first time in over a month you felt like you had your best friend back.

“What about this guy?” you asked, gesturing to the Tata sitting in Tae’s chair. He was holding one of the ‘Happy Birthday’ balloons, but he had no Post-it Note. “Where’s his note?”

“This Tata is very shy,” Tae said quietly. “He has a special message too, but he’s not ready to tell you yet.”

“Right now he just wants to say ‘Happy Birthday Y/N’,” he continued.

Despite everything that had happened over the last month, you could not stop the butterflies that began fluttering in your stomach when he said those first words.

“But anyway,” he said, breaking the little silence that had followed his previous statement. “It’s time for your present!”

At that, he handed over the gift bag he had been holding. You opened it up and carefully removed the tissue paper to reveal a small, cylindrical object at the bottom. Pulling it out and placing it in the palm of your other hand, you realized instantly what you were holding.

It was a vintage-style music box, the kind that snaps open like a clam. It was covered in an ornate gold design of the moon and stars that included tiny diamonds dotted throughout. Opening it revealed an image of the night sky on the underside of the lid and a little dancing figurine in the middle.

Your hand shook ever so slightly as you reached underneath for the winding key. After turning it a few times, you held your breath as you waited for the melody to begin.

Clare de Lune

Just like that, the lump in your throat was back. As you stood there watching the little figure twirl around, you thought for sure your heart would burst.

“I know you love this song and that it helps calm you down. I thought you could keep this with you in case you ever miss your Mom or get overwhelmed or just want a little happy moment,” he said hesitantly.

No words. You had no words. This was without a doubt the most wonderful present anyone had ever given you before. It was so thoughtful and meaningful and beautiful too. It was perfect. Absolutely perfect.

Unable to speak, you did the only other thing you could think of to show your gratitude. You stepped forward and wrapped your arms around him. In an instant, he was hugging you back. Your mind immediately flashed back to the last time you had hugged him, your night at the studio, only this hug was nothing like the friendly one you’d shared in the parking garage. This was an embrace, your face buried in his neck, his cheek pressed to your temple. It was warm and intimate and lasting entirely too long. For a moment, you completely forgot where you were, forgot that you should absolutely not be touching him like this, especially not here.

You wanted nothing more than to stand there and hold him like that forever, but eventually, somewhere in the recesses of the rational portion of your mind, an emotional override button was pressed and you let go.

“Wait, Tae. How on Earth did you get this music box over the weekend?” you asked, finally pulling away from him.

“Oh, I actually had that made like two months ago,” he said, suddenly sporting a light blush. “Right after our night in the studio.”

“I just thought of it one day while I was sitting here and you were humming this song while doing my hair. I knew it would be the perfect birthday present so I ordered it before I forgot,” he continued. “It’s been sitting in my closet for over a month.”

The fact that he bought this for you months ago made your heart swell and almost made you forget that he then didn’t remember to give it to you on your actual birthday.

As if reading your thoughts, his face suddenly grew serious as he sat down and motioned for you to take the chair beside him. He steepled his fingers and brought them up to his face as he opened and closed his mouth several times. His brain was clearly working overtime as he tried again and again to collect his thoughts. Eventually, after several minutes, he took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and looked at you.

“There is so much to say, and it’s hard to know where to start, but I just want to say again that I’m so sorry for how I’ve acted the last month,” he said solemnly. “I got so caught up with recording my song that I wasn't paying attention to what was happening around me.”

“Wait,” you said confusedly, giving him a curious look. “What do you mean by your song?”

Clearly delighted that you had picked up on that subtle word choice, a tiny little grin formed on this face as you asked that.

“So that’s the thing,” he said excitedly. “It ended up being my song that we recorded, not mine and Jisoo’s song, not Jisoo’s song that I’m featured on. My song. Technically, she did the backing vocals for it, but she’s not officially considered to be featured on it. I actually don’t even think she’ll be listed in the credits at all, come to think of it. That’s how little she contributed.”

You sat there blankly staring at him for a whole minute, trying desperately to process all of what he had just said, but you were struggling.

“Tae...I am so confused,” you finally let out.

“I can see that,” he said with a laugh. “But, OK. Time for me to tell a long story.”

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Too Good To Be True - Ch. 20 | kth(m)

Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.

pairing: Taehyung x reader

genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: 18+

word count: 2.9k

warnings: none

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Chapter 20: Talk To The Tatas - Part 2

There never was a love song duet.

Not a real one, anyway.

The first couple times Jisoo and Tae had met in her recording lab, she shared virtually no details about the song she supposedly needed a baritone to sing with her. Instead, she spent most of the time talking about herself and taking photos and videos for social media. After a week of hearing her just throw out random ideas for concepts and lyrics and melodies, Tae realized he’d been lied to, that she actually had nothing legitimately written or composed.

He would have just bailed at that point, but unfortunately the situation was a bit more complicated than that. The song wasn’t just some random single Jisoo wanted to release, it was supposed to be the theme song for an upcoming K-drama, Itaewon Class. For reasons Tae simply could not understand, the show’s producers had commissioned Jisoo to create it. She’d apparently had months to get it done, but had squandered away most of that time partying and vacationing. Knowing that if Jisoo failed to deliver the song it would reflect badly on Big Hit, Bang Si-Hyuk begged Tae to help her come up with something before the contract deadline in a few weeks. Begrudgingly, he obliged.  

One day a few weeks in they were on his laptop listening to potential melodies that had been sent over by the Big Hit production team. When the playlist of instrumental tracks finished, another song from Tae’s library automatically began playing. It was a demo of a song he had been personally working on for several years, one that was not meant to be heard by anyone yet, least of all Jisoo. The laptop had been in her hands when the song started to play, though, and by the time he’d wrestled it away from her and stopped the music, she’d already heard over half of it. He explained that the song was very personal and also still not finished, which she seemed to understand, and afterwards thought nothing more of the incident. 

However, a few days later, after receiving a less than friendly email from the producers asking when they would be getting their theme song, Jisoo did something terrible: she submitted the demo of Tae’s song. How she even got her hands on the file, he did not know. She surprisingly did not claim any credit, she told the producers that it was written and composed entirely by Tae, but she still submitted it without his knowledge or consent.

Tae was furious when she told him. He was so upset that he literally had to leave the room and go for a walk to calm down. When he came back an hour later he was fully prepared to tell Jisoo off and force her to contact the show’s producers and explain what she had done, but the moment he walked into the room she said three words that stopped him in his tracks.

‘They loved it’

They absolutely loved it. They thought it was beautiful, one producer even said she cried the first time she listened to it, and that it perfectly fit the show’s theme. Most importantly, they loved it exactly the way it was as a solo sung by Tae. They thought maybe it could use a woman harmonizing in the background, but they didn’t want it to be turned into a full duet. 

Tae could not help but be flattered that they loved his song so much. After spending almost three years agonizing over it, writing and rewriting it time and again, it was a relief to know that the emotion he’d poured into it had been successfully conveyed. He suddenly found himself feeling very conflicted. Although he was still incredibly upset at Jisoo for what she’d done, a small part of him wondered if maybe it had been a blessing in disguise; because of her this song, which he had long been too afraid to share, might now actually be brought to life.

However, there was a catch: in submitting the song, Jisoo had given the show full rights to its production. Their primary choice was obviously to have Tae sing it, but they had a strict deadline for the song to be finished by. If he could not meet it, they would need to find someone else who could. With all of Big Hit’s main recording labs booked up for BTS and other groups, using Jisoo’s personal recording lab was the only way to get it done on time. Given the short time frame, there also just wasn’t time to find someone else to do the backing vocals; it had to be Jisoo.

Recording his song with her was far from an ideal situation, but Tae felt he didn’t have a choice; the thought of someone else recording it without him was truly unbearable. So he shoved his anger and frustration with her aside and committed to working together with her to get it done. 

The next few weeks passed by in a blur. The production process normally would have taken several months so having it condensed down so much meant there literally wasn’t time for anything else. To help himself focus, he deleted all social media apps off his phone which is why he didn’t realize just how much Jisoo was playing up their ‘relationship’. He specifically mentioned only recently seeing the photo of the strawberries, noting with a slight blush that he actually ordered them to go, but that the restaurant accidentally brought them out on a plate instead while he was in the restroom. He came back to find Jisoo had already eaten half of them and had no idea she’d posted about them on Instagram beforehand.

Turns out that dinner had, in fact, been a meeting after all. One of Tae’s good friends from the ‘Wooga Squad’, Park Seo-joon, was actually starring in the show the song was going to be featured in. He had arranged the dinner with Tae and Jisoo and several of the show’s cast and production members to discuss how and when the song would be marketed and released. Although the show technically had the rights to the song, Seo-joon knew how important it was to Tae and wanted to provide him with an opportunity to help dictate how it would be presented to the public. 

He ended his story by saying that the song, which he had ultimately titled ‘Sweet Night’, was now complete. He went on to say that he was looking forward to never spending another minute with Jisoo and to getting back to his life and focusing again on what mattered most to him.

Stunned by everything he had just told you, it took you a couple moments to realize that he was now saying something that required a response from you.

“It won’t be officially released for a couple months, but I could show it to you before then if you’d like,” he said, suddenly sounding very nervous. 

You could tell from the hesitant way he had asked and the expectant way he was looking at you that he really wanted you to listen to it. You knew how important it was to him, knew how much time and effort he had put into it over the last month. You wanted to say yes and make him happy, wanted to make his face light up with that beautiful smile of his. 

But, you had just spent the last few weeks crying yourself to sleep while that melody played over and over in your head. In this moment, now that you were here with him and finally feeling happy again, that song was the last thing you wanted to hear.  

“Honestly, Tae, I think it would be best if I didn’t listen to it,” you said quietly. “At least not now.”

“I know you didn’t mean to hurt my feelings. I know you’re sorry, and I do forgive you, but I just want to move on,” you continued.

“Listening to that song is only going to remind me of everything that happened and make me sad.”

The look he gave you when you said that nearly broke your heart. It was one of utter devastation. He sat there silent and motionless as the weight of your words sunk in. 

You wished immediately that you could take it back, told yourself you would listen to the song on repeat for the rest of your life if it meant he wouldn’t look at you like that, but it was too late.

“Wait, Tae-,” you started.

“It’s OK,” he said, his voice thick and strained. “I-I understand.”

A second later he was standing up, his back turned to you as he brought his hands up to his face. He stood there like that for a couple moments before he spoke again, still facing away from you.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N” he said, voice barely above a whisper. “It wasn’t supposed to make you sad.”

Before you had time to respond, or even really process what he said, Jimin and Jungkook burst through the door.

“Did they say their piece?!” Jimin cried.

“Do you still have your beautiful hair?!” Jungkook added.

At the sight of them standing there, clearly out of breath from running to the studio, shouting what was apparently utter nonsense, a confused smile formed on your face.

Tae, who seemed to have recovered from whatever moment he just had, turned back to face you.

“They helped me hide the Tatas this morning and get them ready while you took your afternoon coffee break,” he said with a small smile.

“Tae told us he forced you to spend an entire month with Jisoo glued to his hip and therefore glued to yours by extension,” Jungkook said with a shudder.

“Eunji and Donghae would have legitimately shaved our heads if we pulled a stunt like that so we knew he needed all the help he could get making it up to you,” Jimin went on seriously. 

At that you couldn’t help but laugh. Eunji and Donghae, Jimin and Jungkook’s stylists, were your two closest friends at Big Hit. While you weren’t convinced they would have shaved off 2/7ths of BTS’s collectively luscious locks, you did know for a fact that they both despised Jisoo almost as much as you. They had spent all month lamenting your situation with you, periodically throwing you pitying looks and Jisoo death glares as she disrupted the otherwise perfectly harmonious vibe of the BTS studio.

Jimin and Jungkook then hung around for a little while recounting the ‘Tale of the Tatas’ as they liked to call it. After taking three trips to transport all of the balloons from his apartment to Big Hit early that morning, Tae had stuffed them and the Tatas in a conference room he prayed no one would be using that day. During lunch the three of them assembled everything, carefully attaching the balloons around the Tatas arms. Jungkook’s balloons apparently kept sliding right off at first because he didn’t want to tie the ribbons too tight and ‘cut off the Tata’s circulation’.

Tae and Jimin then went back to the conference at 3:45 PM and waited for Jungkook, who was staked out in the hallway outside the studio, to give the signal that you had left to get your coffee. As soon as they got the go ahead, the two boys each grabbed thirteen Tatas and sprinted out of the room. 

They initially made the mistake of trying to get into the same elevator and almost ripped the arms off half the Tatas as the doors began closing with the balloons still billowing out into the hallway. Jimin tried to leave the elevator, but his Tata’s balloons were tangled with Tae’s. Unable to tell whose balloons were whose, they eventually abandoned the elevator altogether and instead opted to carry the tangled mess down ten flights of stairs.

They arrived at the studio with only a few minutes to spare, but with the help of Jungkook they were able to disentangle everything. As Jimin and Jungkook went around placing them all over the room, Tae followed and attached a Post-it Note to each one. Finally finished, Tae went and hid around the corner from the studio while the other two boys wished him luck and headed off for another meeting.

A little while later, after Jimin and Jungkook had finally headed out, you and Tae were alone again in the studio. You had just finished gathering up all of the other Tatas and were standing by Tae’s chair when you suddenly remembered something. 

“So do I still get to hear the shy Tata’s special message?” you asked tentatively. 

He hesitated ever so slightly before responding, a nervous, slightly pained expression flashing across his face, before he broke out into a big smile. 

“Yes, he is ready to speak now,” Tae said as he reached out and picked up the plushie. 

“This Tata would like to publicly declare that Y/L/N Y/N is the official best friend of Kim Taehyung,” he then said in a formal tone. 

“Jimin is my soulmate, the rest of the guys are my brothers, but you are my best friend,” he said sincerely, finally speaking for himself directly instead of via the Tata. 

For the briefest of moments you felt a wave of disappointment ripple through you. Against your better judgement, you had harbored a tiny flicker of hope that the shy Tata would have a different message for you. But, in an instant the disappointment was gone and in its place was pure happiness. 

You were his best friend

Your smile widened so much it hurt and your heart swelled so rapidly you thought surely it would break forth from your chest. You had long considered him to be your best friend, but always feared that sentiment didn’t go both ways. Hearing him confirm that it did meant the absolute world to you, especially after everything that had happened.

“You’ve been my best friend for a long time,” he added quietly. “I’m sorry that it took almost losing you for me to finally tell you that.”

“You’re my best friend too, Tae,” you said in return, loving how wonderful it felt to say those words out loud.

“I am?” he asked hesitantly, giving you a shy smile.

“You are,” you confirmed. “Even if you drive me crazy and sometimes make me want to kill you.”

He laughed at that and his eyes crinkled up into the most adorable crescent moons. The two of you then stood there in a comfortable silence for a minute or so, soaking in the joy of the moment. The last month had been awful, for both you and Tae you now realized, but all of that suddenly seemed so far away. He was your best friend and you were his and for now that felt like enough.

“What am I supposed to do with all these Tatas?” you suddenly asked with a laugh.

“Yea, I have no idea. I didn’t think that far ahead,” he said sheepishly, glancing down at the massive pile between you.

“Where did you even get all of them? Do you have a closet in your apartment full of Tata plushies?” you teased.

“Every once in a while being Kim Taehyung has its perks,” he said coyly. 

In the end, you decided to keep two of the Tatas. The ‘Best Friend’ Tata would remain at Big Hit on the counter in front of your station and the ‘I’m Sorry’ Tata would go home with you to your apartment. The rest of the Tatas you two decided to hide in random places throughout the building, some of which included:

Inside the top drawer of Mrs. Choi’s desk

On top of one of the speakers in the main dance room

In the top of the ‘H’ in the blue ‘Big Hit’ sign in the lobby

On the chair in Yoongi’s ‘Genius Lab’

In the refrigerator in the break room

After stuffing the balloons into the studio closet - you decided it would be best to inhale the helium inside of them the next day in the presence of Mrs. Choi - you two were finally making your way out of the building. You had just reached the parking garage when you finally summoned the courage to say what had been on your mind for the last hour.

“Tae, about earlier. What I said about your song,” you started.

“Y/N, you don’t have to explain,” he cut in gently. “I know I really messed up and I understand why you don’t want to listen to it right now.”

“Honestly, I don’t even want to listen to it right now,” he said with a dry laugh.

You let out a little laugh too, grateful that he didn’t seem so upset anymore, though, part of you still felt guilty for what you’d said. 

“You can listen to it another time when you’re ready,” he then added with a small smile. “It’s not going anywhere.”

“Ok,” you said, returning his smile. “I promise I will.”

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Too Good To Be True - Ch. 21 | kth(m)

Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.

pairing: Taehyung x reader

genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: 18+

word count: 2.4k

warnings: none

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Chapter 21: Best Friend Zone

When you got home that evening you plopped down on the couch, snuggled the ‘I’m Sorry’ Tata plushie, and let out a very long sigh. The last few days had been an absolute whirlwind and everything was just now sinking in. You’d gone from feeling excited to angry to devastated to guilty to happy to ultimately now feeling quite overwhelmed and honestly a bit confused. There was just so much to process and understand. 

The two most important revelations were definitely that Tae was not in any way, shape or form, with Jisoo and that he had not been purposefully avoiding or forgetting you this past month. As crazy as his story sounded, you had no reason to think he would lie and every reason to believe that Jisoo had been the root cause of the entire mess. 

Just thinking about what she’d done made your blood boil. She had manipulated and lied to and legitimately stolen from Tae. Years of his hard work had almost gone completely down the drain because of her. You honestly just couldn’t believe someone could be so selfish, especially if it meant hurting someone as kind as Tae.

A far more sobering thought was the fact that she had clearly manipulated you as well. There was not a doubt in your mind that she posted that photo of the strawberries hoping you would see it and be hurt. You were now all but certain she knew you harbored at least a schoolgirl’s crush on Tae, if not deeper feelings. The potential havoc she could wreak with that information was honestly not something you were prepared to contemplate at the moment.

Due to the devastation of your failed date, and the fact that you spent all weekend trying to forget that entire day, you hadn’t really spent much time thinking about your fight with Tae. Looking back at it now, you couldn’t help but note the cruel irony that his worry, which had seemed blown out of proportion at the time, had been justified. Minho hadn’t hurt you physically, which was what Tae seemed most concerned about, but he had hurt you, deeply. 

Although you knew it wasn’t fair to assume the next guy would treat you like that, you found yourself legitimately shuddering at the thought of setting up another Tinder date. With a quick tap and a swipe, the app was deleted from your phone. One day you hoped to be able to try again, but it was clear that right now you just weren’t ready.

As you continued to replay your fight over and over in your mind, you couldn’t stop yourself from wondering if, in addition to worry, Tae had been feeling another emotion that night: jealousy. You had been so worried that he would recognize your obvious envy that you hadn’t really picked up on any of the signs of his own which, in hindsight, had been plenty. Even before your fight, he had noticed you were talking to someone and clearly wasn’t happy about it. After the shock of discovering you were going on a date wore off, his next gut reaction was to be annoyed and angry. And, although he claimed it was out of concern for your safety and wellbeing, he had literally held your hand and flat out told you he didn’t want you to go. 

Exactly where that jealousy stemmed from, you did not know. While you desperately wanted to believe it was because he had feelings for you, past experience made you extremely wary of that line of thinking. Despite all his sweet words and little affectionate gestures over the years, he still had never once given you a legitimate sign that they meant anything more. 

On top of that was the fact that jealousy was possible in completely platonic relationships. In college you’d gotten really jealous when your best friend got a boyfriend and stopped hanging out with you as much. Also, last year when Jimin started seeing someone, Tae had acted similarly protective and been slightly annoyed at first. If he considered you his best friend, maybe he really was just hurt that you hadn’t told him something so important and worried that it would affect your friendship.

There was a part of you that feared him saying you were his best friend was just a knee-jerk reaction to your fight. It felt so good to finally hear him say those words, for him to acknowledge that you were one of the most important people in his life; you would be absolutely crushed if he hadn’t meant it after all. But, the sincerity with which he said it, and how much time and energy he’d put into his apology and gift, helped quell that fear. 

Around and around your mind went thinking through everything and, while some things became more clear, others only grew hazier. After an hour of being lost in deep thought, you finally decided to get up and make yourself some dinner. Standing from the couch, you held the Tata out in front of you and gazed at its cute, slightly angry face.

“You are so confusing, and you drive me insane, but I love you all the same,” you told it before giving it a kiss, gently placing it down on the cushion, and heading off towards the kitchen.

~~~

Over the next few weeks you discovered that being the official best friend of Kim Taehyung meant being showered with even more attention and affection than ever before. You didn’t know if he was simply trying to make up for the last month or if this is how things would always be, but you weren’t going to question it.

He started to text you more in the evenings and on the weekends too about stuff that wasn’t related to work. Even if you’d spent all day with him in the studio, you would sometimes pull up to your apartment after driving home to find that he’d already sent you a message. Oftentimes he would start by sending a random meme or GIF, but other times he would just say hi and ask how you were doing. One Saturday evening after he’d been away for a few days visiting his parents, he even began the conversation by simply texting ‘I miss you.’ 

Initially, he was always the one texting you first, you were terrified of bothering him or coming off as clingy, but eventually you started to initiate conversations too. Sometimes you only chatted briefly, but other times you talked for hours on end until late into the night. When you did that, you were almost always the first one to fall asleep. You would usually wake up the next morning to a string of adorable messages from the night before.

[Taehyung 12:30 AM]

Ok, either you did not find that joke even remotely funny…or you’ve fallen asleep.

[Taehyung 12:33 AM]

I hope it’s the latter.

[Taehyung 12:33 AM]

Though, if you’re asleep that means I can’t talk to you anymore which is sad.

[Taehyung 12:34 AM]

Tannie is asleep too. I can hear him snoring from his bed.

[Taehyung 12:34 AM]

Did you know dogs could snore?

[Taehyung 12:35 AM]

It’s cute. Somewhat annoying, but still very cute.

[Taehyung 12:36 AM]

Jimin once told me that I snore, but I think he was lying. 

[Taehyung 12:36 AM]

I definitely don’t snore.

[Taehyung 12:37 AM]

But, anyway. I should probably stop texting you now and let you get your beauty sleep.

[Taehyung 12:37 AM]

Not that you need it.

[Taehyung 12:38 AM]

OK, that was extremely cheesy.

[Taehyung 12:38 AM]

I’m definitely going now. 

[Taehyung 12:39 AM]

Goodnight, Y/N. I hope you have sweet dreams.

The two of you talked about everything and anything: music, movies, photography, books, travel, your families, the future. It’s not that you hadn’t talked about these things before when you were in the studio or on set, but those conversations had always been slightly measured. There was always someone else around or not enough time to really dig deep into any one topic. Now with more time and without fear of interruption, conversation just flowed so much more naturally.

He also became ever so slightly more physically affectionate which in some ways was not surprising. It was no secret that Tae was one of the more touchy members of BTS; he was always hugging Jungkook or holding Jimin’s hand or trying to snuggle someone while he slept. What he did with you was far more subtle, though. For instance, sometimes when you were doing his makeup and you placed your free hand on the arm of his chair, he would rest his fingertips on top of yours. He’d also started to do things like booping your nose or squishing your cheeks if you said something stupid or silly. And, he gave you more hugs, albeit just friendly ones and not intimate embraces like the one you shared after he gave you your birthday present. 

However, he did clearly make sure to never do any of these things when other people were watching. Skinship between same-sex friends was totally normal, but between friends of the opposite sex it was far less common, if not a little taboo. Also, even if you were just friends and all of his gestures were strictly platonic, they still could be taken the wrong way which would undoubtedly get you both in trouble. 

When Tae first said you were his best friend, you worried that might mean you’d end up being treated differently, possibly even like one of the guys. Now that you were here, though, firmly planted in his innermost circle alongside Jimin, you couldn’t help but think the best friend zone wasn’t such a bad place to be after all.

~~~

One afternoon you were in the studio trying to write a carefully worded email to Mrs. Choi about her suggested tweaks to the guys’ wardrobe for the upcoming Dynamite MV shoot. At a loss for how to nicely tell her that her ideas were complete crap, you were grateful when Tae walked in and sat down next to you.

“So there’s a photo shoot for Itaewon Class this Saturday,” Tae said, clearly very excited. “It’s taking place at a national park by the ocean a few hours south of the city.”

“They’ve asked me to come,” he went on. “They want some photos of me to use when they promote the song.”

At the mention of his song, you stiffened ever so slightly and turned back towards your laptop. You had promised him you would listen to it that day in the studio, but you had not had the courage to bring it up since then. He hadn’t mentioned it either and now you couldn’t help but wonder if he had changed his mind and actually didn’t want to show it to you. Obviously, you would hear it eventually when the show premiered and the song was released, but there was something special about him wanting to share it with you ahead of time. You had shut him down, though, rather harshly you later realized, and just didn’t know how to go about undoing the hurt you’d clearly caused him.

“They said their stylists would help get me ready,” he then said casually.

“I’m sure they’ll do a great job,” you said, trying not to sound disappointed as you kept your eyes locked on the screen in front of you. 

“But...I told them I wanted to bring my own,” he tentatively added a moment later.

At that, you finally looked back over at him.

“Is that so?” you asked as a big, silly grin spread across your face. 

“Don’t go getting a big head about it,” he said jokingly. “I’m only bringing you because I’m a primadonna and I’m accustomed to a certain level of individualized attention and pampering.”

“I’m definitely not bringing you because I want to hang out with you,” he continued. He said this in a mock serious tone, but he was sporting a small grin and a light blush.

“I haven’t even agreed to go,” you replied coyly. “I might already have plans for this Saturday.”

When you said that his face instantly fell.

“I’m sorry,” he said, suddenly looking sheepish and sounding nervous. “I shouldn’t have assumed you would be free.” 

“Or that you would want to go,” he then added, running his hand through his hair.

Your heart plummeted seeing how sad he looked right now and you immediately felt bad for teasing him.

“Tae, I’m just kidding,” you quickly assured him. “I don’t have plans.”

“I would love to go with you,” you then added, giving him a shy smile. 

In the three years you had been working at Big Hit, you had never gone to a shoot with just him. Of course, you wouldn’t be alone with him, a driver would surely be taking you and there would obviously be all the show’s cast and crew on set, but it was still exciting that you two would get to go together.

“Great,” he said back, giving you a big, boxy smile that nearly melted your heart. “I’ll text you all the information tonight.”

As he pulled out his laptop and you returned your attention back towards your own, you couldn’t help but wonder if he thought you had a date when you said you might already have plans. The two of you had not spoken about your ‘date’ with Minho since the night of your fight. You certainly were not going to bring it up; you were positively mortified for him, or anyone else for that matter, to know that you had been stood up. 

You also had not mentioned that you were no longer on Tinder, but you had a feeling he already knew this. One day a couple weeks ago you had asked him to text something to your sister while your hands were full. Out of the corner of your eye you saw that, after he sent the message, he went back to your home screen and briefly scanned over it before putting your phone back down. You were almost positive he was checking to see if the Tinder app was still there, the relieved look on his face indicating he was pleased not to have seen it.

Alas, there were no dates for you in the near future, just work. For now, though, that was enough.

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Too Good To Be True - Ch. 22 | kth(m)

Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.

pairing: Taehyung x reader

genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: 18+

word count: 2.9k

warnings: none

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Chapter 22: Say The Magic Words

As you stood outside your apartment building the following Saturday morning, fidgeting with the sleeves of your jacket, you tried to calm your racing heart. You were nervous, excited too, but also strangely nervous. It was just Tae, just another photoshoot, but yet your stomach had been filled with butterflies since last night when you received the following text from him:

[Taehyung 9:45 PM]

Goodnight, Y/N. Sleep well. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.

I can’t wait to see you tomorrow

He had never said anything like that to you before and you honestly didn’t know what to make of it. It could be that he was just really looking forward to the shoot and was projecting that excitement onto you. After all, it was his first big solo project; it made complete sense for him to be feeling giddy about it. 

You were re-reading his text for perhaps the hundredth time, willing yourself to stop overanalyzing it, when suddenly a black Hyundai Genesis GV80 with dark, tinted windows pulled up. The passenger side window rolled down and, to your complete surprise, there was Tae sitting in the driver’s seat, sporting a baseball cap and black facemask.

“You’re driving us?” you asked in amazement as you opened the door, got into the car, and threw your bags in the backseat. 

“I am indeed,” he replied with a satisfied smirk.

“I thought you always used a driver,” you said, still in shock. 

“I do when it’s for official BTS business,” he said casually as he entered an address into the car’s navigation system. “But, technically this isn’t for BTS so I convinced Bang Si-hyuk to let me drive myself.”

You stared at him in disbelief for a couple moments while you fastened your seatbelt. 

“Isn’t this kind of dangerous?” you then questioned, somewhat seriously. “What if someone recognizes you or follows us or something?”

He pulled his mask down and turned to face you.

“Do you trust me?” he asked in response, giving you a serious look.

“Of course,” you replied automatically. 

“Then don’t worry,” he said earnestly. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

~~~

The ride down south was an absolute blast. As co-pilot, you were in charge of the music and you decided that, even though it was still only 6 AM, it was time to fiesta. You alternated between ‘Road Trip’ and ‘Karaoke’ playlists you found on Spotify. The two of you belted out song after song, Tae clearly trying very hard to not sound like he had the voice of an angel which you greatly appreciated. 

An hour into the trip Tae remembered that he made strawberry jam sandwiches for breakfast. You were extremely grateful for this since, in your haste to be ready on time, you hadn’t eaten a single thing before you left. As he took the first bite of his sandwich a glob of jam came dangerously close to slipping off and falling onto his lap. Upon witnessing this, you informed him that you would not, under any circumstances, clean his jammy pants. He then proceeded to burst out laughing and spit strawberry jam all over the steering wheel.

By the time you arrived at the park a little after 8:00, you were feeling excited yet relaxed. You had told Tae on the way down that you were nervous to meet the big shot TV show stylists, but he assured you that, in their eyes, you were the queen of stylists. This made you feel slightly less nervous, but also made you blush wildly. After going through a quick security checkpoint at the entrance, you guys drove through the park to the beach where the shoot was being held.

As expected, the entire cast and crew was incredibly excited to have Kim Taehyung on set. Several people came over to say hello to him and a few even asked for an autograph which he happily gave. You always admired how kind he was to fans; even when he was busy or tired or hungry he always greeted everyone with a smile and gave them his undivided attention, even if only for a few moments.

At one point, one of the show’s female leads, a beautiful actress and singer who went by the stage name Nara, came over to say hi. She was one of the original members of the recently disbanded girl group, Hello Venus, so she and Tae had met several times before. Their conversation was friendly enough, but she was clearly quite smitten with him. 

Feeling slightly awkward to be witnessing her obvious flirting, you were about to excuse yourself to go get something from the lunch table when Tae suddenly introduced you to her and steered the conversation towards styling. Seeming to take the hint that he wasn’t interested, she backed off and left a few minutes later. As she walked away, and you turned back to Tae to find him already looking at you with a shy smile, you felt the butterflies from earlier in the day increase tenfold.  

Sometime in the afternoon, while Tae was off shooting, you were packing up your supplies when suddenly someone walked up next to you.

“Hi there,” you heard a friendly voice say. 

When you turned to see who it was, your jaw nearly hit the floor.

“Whoa. You’re Park Seo-joon,” you said, inwardly cringing at how fangirly that sounded.

“I am,” he said with a laugh. “You must be Taehyung’s stylist, Y/N.”

“That’s me,” you said with a laugh as you willed yourself to calm down and act casual. 

“I’m glad you were able to make it today,” he went on. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

For a moment your brain short circuited. 

Tae talked about you to the Wooga Squad?

You supposed it made sense that you had come up in conversation, he came up occasionally when you were talking with family or close friends about your work, but still the idea of him talking about you to Park Seo-joon or his other friends had you suddenly feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. 

“Hopefully all good things,” you replied with a smile, trying to sound nonchalant.

“Yes,” he said with another laugh. “Only good things, I promise.”

After a few more minutes of you being a totally awkward, bumbling mess, the two of you eventually fell into an easy conversation about what it was like to work on the set of a K-drama. You explained that when you first graduated from college you had originally intended to get a job in the film industry, but that the opportunity at Big Hit just presented itself. He asked if you knew who you would be working with when you interviewed for the job, to which you honestly replied ‘No’, and then followed up by asking what your reaction was when you learned it would be Tae. You shyly replied that you were pleasantly surprised before recounting the story of meeting him for the first time, a story which you got the sense Seo-joon had actually already heard.  

Eventually the conversation steered away from work and the two of you began talking a little more about yourselves and your families. This is what ultimately led you to sharing the following bit of information.

“My older sister absolutely loves you,” you said with a laugh. “She’s going to be so jealous that I got to meet you.”

“We should take a picture and send it to her,” he said with a wicked smile. 

“No, no, no. We couldn’t possibly,” you immediately replied.

“We can and we will,” he said with a laugh as he came up next to you.

“Alright, if you’re sure,” you then said as you pulled out your phone, opened up the camera, and held it out selfie-style. 

The two of you smiled brightly, Seo-joon leaning over your shoulder to get into the frame, and just as you snapped the photo Tae walked over.

“What are you guys doing?” he asked somewhat tensely as he gave the two of you a curious look, clearly noting how close Seo-joon was to you.

“Taking a photo to make Y/N’s sister jealous,” Seo-joon said casually.

“OK that sounds so bad when you say it out loud,” you said with a laugh. “I’m really not a terrible sister, I swear.”

“Ahh, I see,” Tae said with a small smile, sounding slightly more relaxed.

As the two boys then began chatting about the shoot and the show, you sent the photo to your older sister along with the following text:

[3:25 PM]

Guess who I’m hanging out with right now…

She replied within seconds and you immediately burst out laughing.

“What did she say?” Seo-joon asked, leaning in closer to you.

“Keyboard smash. ‘I hate you’. ‘Tell him I love him’,” you replied before another fit of laughter overtook you.

The three of you then talked for a little while longer before Seo-joon was called over to take a few more photos. You said your goodbyes, saying how nice it was to meet him, and he was just about to head off when he turned back around.

“Hey, Y/N,” Seo-joon said with a cheeky smile. “If you ever get tired of this guy just let me know. I’ll get you hooked up with a sweet TV gig.”

“Alright, it’s definitely time for you to leave, hyung,” Tae then said, shooing Seo-joon away before you could respond.

The older man then walked off, laughing to himself as he went. As Tae sat down in the chair next to you, a small pout on his face, the realization hit you like a tidal wave. 

He’s jealous

~~~

Towards the end of the day, once the shoot was finished, Tae had to meet with the show’s producers to go over some details regarding the song's release. You decided to take the opportunity to go down to the beach and enjoy the sunset over the ocean. Since the park had been closed to the public for the day, and almost everyone from the shoot had already left, the beach was completely empty. 

You walked down to the water’s edge and, after standing there for a few minutes contemplating the appropriateness of the situation, you finally said fuck it, took off your shoes, rolled up your pants, and walked in a little ways.

As you stood there enjoying the view, toes curled in the sand, waves gently lapping at your ankles, you thought to yourself this is the happiest you’ve been in a long time, maybe even the happiest you’ve ever been, period. Mindlessly, you began humming the melody of Tae’s song, the little bit you knew at least, and then eventually started swaying along to it as well. You’re not sure how long you were out there, but the sun was now just barely above the horizon, bathing the sky in a beautiful canvas of yellow and orange and red.

“Whatcha doing?” you suddenly heard Tae say behind you in a teasing voice.

“Shit. Tae you scared me,” you said as you jumped and then turned around.

“How long have you been standing there anyway?” you then asked nervously, aware that you likely looked like a fool just now dancing alone on the beach.

“Long enough,” he said with a laugh as he walked down towards you. 

You felt yourself flush as it also then occurred to you that he might have heard you humming his song, the song you had claimed you didn’t want to listen to, but now couldn’t get out of your head. He didn’t say anything, though, so you decided to let it go. 

“Thanks for bringing me today,” you said after a couple moments. “I had a lot of fun.”

“Me too,” he agreed as his face broke out into a big grin as well. 

“Although,” he then went on, “I am now slightly concerned you’re going to leave Big Hit to go work in the TV industry.” 

“I’m not going anywhere,” you said with a laugh. “At least not until you guys disband.”

“Then I may have to take Seo-joon up on his offer,” you said teasingly, noting the way his jaw clenched ever so slightly when you said that.

“Well then we’ll just keep going forever,” he said in reply, almost sounding serious. “Or at least I will.”

“You know, I can totally picture you on stage singing and dancing at 80,” you joked. “I mean, you already dress like grandpa when I’m not in charge.”

“Hey!” he cried, sounding deeply offended as he put a hand over his heart.

“It’s true!” you shot back, giggling. “ARMY agrees with me, too. They’re always commenting on how you look like a cute old man when you wear sweater vests and berets and giant glasses.”

He laughed and then gave you his adorable shy smile. “I think you secretly love my grandpa style.”

“I might,” you replied with a bashful smile of your own as you turned back towards the ocean. “But, I will never admit it.”

For a few minutes you two stood there enjoying the view, but eventually you looked down at your watch and realized how late it was. 

“We should get going,” you said to him reluctantly.

He nodded in agreement and you began walking towards him but then abruptly stopped. 

“Shoot. I didn’t think this through,” you said, looking down with a pout. “My feet are going to get all sandy.”

A beat of silence passed.

“I could carry you to the road,” he said hesitantly, but with a little grin.

You quickly glanced around the beach. There was no one in sight, it was already starting to get dark, and the road was only a little ways away. You still should have immediately said no, but you didn’t. You just couldn’t, not when he was looking at you all cutely like that, not when you loved the idea of being in his arms.

“OK,” you said shyly.

At that, he reached down to pick up your shoes and socks and then walked over until he was just barely outside the reach of the water. As you came over he handed you your things and then bent down and scooped you up while you wrapped your arms around his neck. He started towards the road, but then suddenly stopped and turned around.

“What would you say if I just threw you into the ocean right now?” he asked mischievously.

“You wouldn’t dare,” you said, gasping as you looked at him wide-eyed.

“Oh, but I would,” he said with a laugh as he took a few tentative steps out onto the wet sand.

“Tae!” you scolded, as you tried to keep a straight face. “Do not take another step!”

You wiggled in his arms, but that only made him hold you tighter. He was so strong which you would have found incredibly sexy were it not for the fact that he was currently using his giant muscles for evil.

“Say you love my grandpa style,” he said teasingly as a wave came dangerously close to his shoes.

“What?!” you asked incredulously.

“Admit you love my sweater vests and berets and giant glasses,” he repeated with a smirk. “Only then will I spare you.”

He took a few more steps forward and, as another wave crashed by and actually submerged his shoes, you let out a tiny shriek and burst out laughing.

“Kim Taehyung!” you cried between giggles. “You stop this madness right now!”

“Only you have the power to do that,” he replied calmly. “Just say the magic words.”

When you said nothing in reply he then moved as if he was legitimately about to throw you.

“Fine!” you nearly shouted as he swung you backward. “I love your grandpa style!”

“I love your adorable sweater vests and your silly berets and your cute, nerdy glasses!” you continued, clinging to him like a koala bear.

“Why thank you, Y/N. That’s very sweet of you to say,” he then said with a smug smile as he adjusted his grip and pulled you back up into his chest.

“Oh my god. I hate you,” you said with a laugh, slightly breathless after your outburst.

“Hmm. I don’t know about that,” he mused as he turned to look at you.

Your laughter died in your throat when you saw the way he was looking at you. His expression was soft, but intent; his dark eyes staring deeply into yours. He took a quick, but unmistakable glance down at your lips and you felt your heart skip a beat. Your entire body instantly flushed with heat as you considered what he might or might not be about to do, but a sudden strong gust of wind had you shuddering in his arms nonetheless.

“Is my Y/N cold?” he whispered, hugging you closer ask he spoke.

You wordlessly nodded your head and then buried your face in his neck, suddenly feeling incredibly nervous and shy, not to mention totally exposed out there on the beach.

“Let’s get you home,” he then said gently, pressing a little kiss to your temple, as he turned and slowly made his way back through the sand towards the road.

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Too Good To Be True - Ch. 23 | kth(m)

Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.

pairing: Taehyung x reader

genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: 18+

word count: 3.2k

warnings: cursing, lowkey sexting

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Chapter 23: Happening So Fast

Tae kissed your temple and time itself came to a screeching halt. It was such a small, simple gesture, one that could easily be written off as strictly platonic under most circumstances, but in the context of the greater situation - you in his arms, moments after he had called you his with utter sincerity - it felt like so much more. The whole moment was just so tender and intimate.

So undeniably romantic.

As he carried you across the sand, you felt goosebumps slowly spread across your body, but they had absolutely nothing to do with the cold.

The rest of the night was a blur. That’s how near-catatonic you were after what happened on the beach. There were really only a few things that you recall in much detail. You remember him taking off his favorite gray hoodie and putting it on you after he set you down on the road. You remember him holding your hand the entire drive home, his thumb gently rubbing yours in little circles, and how he pressed a kiss to the back of it before he finally let go so you could get out of the car. You remember reading and re-reading the adorable, yet hysterical string of texts you discovered after getting out of the shower.

[Taehyung 10:32 PM] Finally made it home. Tannie says hi! He also says he’s jealous that I got to spend the whole day with you and he didn’t.

[Taehyung 10:34 PM] I hope you’re snuggled in bed all warm and cozy right now. I’m sorry I let you get so cold out there on the windy beach. I should have given you my hoodie sooner.

[Taehyung 10:37 PM] Speaking of my hoodie, I spoke to him telepathically just now and he told me to tell you that he would like to live with you from now on.

[Taehyung 10:39 PM] He’s very needy, though, just so you know. He requires a lot of attention and affection and snuggles (he also requires low heat when drying).

[Taehyung 10:45 PM] Anyway, I just want to say again that I had a really fun time with you today. I know technically we were working, but it was still nice spending time together.

[Taehyung 10:50 PM Also, I’ve decided we should go back to that beach someday. I can bring Tannie (he’s never seen the ocean before) and my camera and you can show me how to make those epic sandcastles you bragged about on the way home.

[Taehyung 10:52 PM] But, OK. I realize I’m the world’s worst double texter and that you’re probably already asleep. I promise I’ll stop now.

[Taehyung 10:55 PM] Wait, I lied. I still have to say goodnight.

[Taehyung 10:56 PM] Goodnight Y/N 💜

But, most importantly, you remember the exact moment later on when you were lying in bed, still wearing his hoodie and just about to fall asleep, when a most profound and potentially life-altering realization finally hit you:

It was a date

He took you on a date.

Kim Taehyung took you on a date.

Kim. Taehyung. Took. You. On. A. Date.

He took you on a date so stealthily, so subtly, that you didn’t even know it was happening. Sure, it was unconventional, he technically asked you under the guise of work and never explicitly used the word date, but looking back now it was so obviously one all but in name.

That’s why he was so nervous about asking you to go.

That’s why he was looking forward to it so much.

That’s why he convinced Bang Si-Hyuk to let him drive himself.

That’s why he made sure to immediately shut down Nara’s advances.

That’s why he got so jealous when he thought you were flirting with Seo-joon.

That’s why he was so attentive and affectionate and flirty on the beach and in the car and basically the entire day.

HOLY FUCK IT WAS A DATE

Suddenly, despite the fact that it was after midnight, you were wide awake, an infinite number of questions running through your mind.

Was I supposed to know it was a date?

Do I now acknowledge that it was a date?

Does this mean he knows how I feel about him?

Does this mean he wants to be together?

Where do we go from here?

At first you felt blindsided, thinking this had come out of absolutely nowhere, but as you began looking back on the last month, slowly it all started to make sense. Things had been noticeably different between you two since that day with the Tatas when he called you his best friend. You had been so focused on those two words, though, that you hadn’t really stopped to consider the greater implications of his actual actions.

The truth was he had clearly stopped treating you like just a friend a while ago, even before that day in the studio. You had just been too afraid to admit it, too scared to let yourself believe it meant he might actually feel something more for you. Because, in all honesty, it just seemed too good to be true.

The fact that he never explicitly said anything about the now obvious change in your relationship did not surprise you. Things between you two had always gone somewhat unspoken, you’d slowly, almost hesitantly slotted yourselves into each other’s lives over the course of several years without much fanfare. Letting things unfold naturally the way they had kind of just made sense.

Not openly speaking about it also meant refusing to acknowledge the big, glaring flaw in your current state of semi-togetherness: that it absolutely wasn’t allowed. Obviously, you couldn’t avoid addressing this issue forever, but you wanted to put it off as long as possible. You knew the moment you did the spell would be broken and you’d have to face whatever harsh reality was surely awaiting you both.

However, right now none of that mattered. What mattered was Tae and the fact that he had made a big statement today, both with his words and his actions. The ball was now clearly in your court and you knew you needed to make the next move and show him that, whatever was happening between you two, you were all in.

~~~

It was the following Thursday night and you were sitting on the bed in a hotel room a few hours outside Seoul. You and the rest of the BTS team had arrived here, the location for the Dynamite music video shoot, that afternoon and would be here for the next three days filming. It had been a whirlwind of a week getting everything ready; there were so many last minute adjustments and modifications to the wardrobes, so much stuff to pack up and prepare for travel.

You and Tae had both been so busy that you’d hardly had time to see each other. He had still texted you every night, though, and even called on Tuesday, claiming he was too tired to text and also saying he also just missed the sound of your voice. In a way the busyness had been a good thing; it had given you time and space to really think things through, to make sure you were ready for what you were about to do.

You were currently giving yourself a pep talk in preparation for asking Tae out on a ‘date’. You were using the term date loosely here; after all, this was Kim Taehyung you were about to ask out and that unfortunately meant you couldn’t really go anywhere with him. You wrote and rewrote your message to him no less than fifty times. You didn’t want to come off as too forward or desperate, but you also wanted to make sure he understood what you were asking. The last thing you wanted was for the two of you to go on another date where one of you was completely unaware that it was, in fact, a date.

[9:04 PM] Sooo...I was wondering if you maybe wanted to watch a movie together tomorrow night? This hotel has some surprisingly good pay per view options. We could order room service too for dinner? I peeked at the menu. There are a handful of items that seem edible, though, most things do look rather spicy (sorry in advance to your sensitive taste buds). I’m up for anything, really. I just want to spend time together. It’s been a busy week and I miss you.

The moment you pressed send, you felt your heart stop: there was no turning back now.

Suddenly, a million doubts and worries began rushing through your mind. What if you’d gotten everything wrong? What if the photoshoot actually wasn’t a date and you just imagined the whole thing? What if he did only see you as his best friend and nothing more? What if the absolute last thing he wanted to do tomorrow night was hang out with you alone in a hotel room watching some random movie and eating crap room service?

Mortified by what you had just done, you flung your phone across the bed, buried your face in a pillow, and waited with bated breath. The fact that it took so long for him to respond only deepened your embarrassment. He must be wondering what the fuck was wrong with you and trying to figure out how to respond to your extremely awkward invitation. He was a nice guy, so he would probably let you down easy, maybe just make some sort of excuse about being busy, but surely his rejection was only moments away.

When he finally did respond it took you five solid minutes to summon the courage to look at what he wrote. Slowly, as if held down by a physical manifestation of the weight of your actions, you crawled across the bed to where your phone was laying. After unlocking it with a shaky swipe, you put your hands over your face and then hesitantly peered between two fingers at the screen.

[Taehyung 9:15 PM] You are a mind reader.

[Taehyung 9:17 PM] I was literally just thinking we should do something.

[Taehyung 9:18 PM] I miss you too. So much.

[Taehyung 9:18 PM] So yes, I would love to :)

PHEW.

You let out the breath you had been holding. Ok. Maybe you had overreacted a bit just now. He said yes, told you he’s been missing you, and even threw in a smiley face. These were all very good signs.

[Taehyung 9:20 PM] What time? And do you want to watch in my room or yours?

Following up to actually start working out the details of your proposed date - another good sign. Yes, OK. This is definitely good. Emboldened by his apparent enthusiasm, you decided to get a bit cheeky.

[9:22 PM] Let’s say 8:00 PM. As for the room, I’m going to have to say mine.

[9:24 PM] The last time I went to your hotel room I was held hostage...

[Taehyung 9:27 PM] I’m still so sorry about that.

[Taehyung 9:28 PM] But, I just want to state for the record that I absolutely got the short end of the stick that night. I got stuck on the old, lumpy couch while you got the fancy, comfy bed.

[9:30 PM] No one said you had to sleep on the couch.

[9:30 PM] That bed was certainly big enough for two.

[Taehyung 9:32 PM] Well, I have a tendency to subconsciously cuddle people while I sleep. I didn’t want to inconvenience you...

You blushed at him suggesting that, had you both slept in that bed, he would have ended up cuddling you. Tae was usually not this flirty, but then again neither were you. Also, the two of you had never maybe, kind of been together before. Curious to see just how far he might be willing to take things, you upped your game a little.

[9:35 PM] Who says I would have found your cuddles inconvenient?

[9:36 PM] I might have felt lonely all night without them.

You saw the three dots appear and then disappear several times before he responded.

[Taehyung 9:40 PM] Here I was thinking I was being a gentleman when actually I was being neglectful.

[Taehyung 9:42 PM] My sincerest apologies. I promise you’ll get all the cuddles you want next time.

Next time

Your entire body flushed at the insinuation that he planned on having you in his bed again at some point. He had never said anything that suggestive to you before, but clearly the two of you were in uncharted territory right now. If he was on board with flirting like this, you were definitely not going to stop now.

[9:45 PM] Will I get to wear Kim Taehyung’s infamous plaid Burberry pajamas again next time too?

[9:46 PM] They were so soft and comfy.

[Taehyung 9:48 PM] Most definitely.

[Taehyung 9:49 PM] They looked rather good on you.

[Taehyung 9:50 PM] The top was ridiculously big, but in an adorable sort of way.

And just like that you were blushing again. He had seemed so unfazed at the time by you wearing his clothes, but perhaps he had been affected by it after all.

[9:52 PM] You seem to like seeing me wear your clothes.

[Taehyung 9:54 PM] It may or may not be a sight I enjoy.

[9:56 PM] What would you say if I told you I was wearing your hoodie right now?

[Taehyung 9:57 PM] I would say that I wanted proof.

You knew at once what he was asking: he wanted a photo of you wearing it. Immediately, your mind began to race. This was dangerous, you were most definitely playing with fire right now, but god, did you love it. Sweet, affectionate Tae had you swooning last Saturday and feeling all warm and fuzzy inside, but sexy, seductive Tae had you feeling a whole different way right now.

You got up from the bed and stood in front of the floor length mirror. His hoodie was massive on you, so long that it grazed the top of your thighs and completely covered the shorts you had on. You should have hiked the bottom of it up to reveal that you were, in fact, wearing shorts, but you didn’t. You snapped the photo with the hoodie as is, leaving Tae to wonder what you might or might not have been wearing underneath.

[10:02 PM] Image Sent

He didn’t respond right away, and you immediately felt your cheeks burn with embarrassment that you’d sent something so risqué to him, but then came his reply which quieted every single thought in your head.

[Taehyung 10:10 PM] You wearing my pajamas was cute, but this...this is something else entirely.

[Taehyung 10:11 PM] I never thought you’d be such a tease.

[Taehyung 10:12 PM] But, I can’t say I don’t like it.

Well fuck

Tae had called you pretty several times before, and even once said you looked beautiful, but this was the first time he had ever hinted that he found you desirable. You honestly were at a loss for words on how to respond, but before you even had time to think, Tae was taking things to a whole new level.

[Taehyung 10:15 PM] However, you must know that two can play at this game.

[Taehyung 10:18 PM] Image Received

FUCK.

Kim Taehyung just sent you a shirtless selfie. He was laying down on the hotel bed, his phone held out in front of him and angled so as to show his gorgeous face, his deliciously muscular chest, and the pajama pants sitting low on his hips. The only thing he was wearing up top was his ring necklace, the jewel hanging tantalizingly between his pecs.

It was literally the definition of a thirst trap.

And fuck if you weren’t now absolutely parched.

You needed to play it cool, though. You didn’t want him to know how incredibly turned on you now were just from that picture alone.

[10:23 PM] A shirtless selfie. How typical of Kim Taehyung. You going to post it to Weverse later on? Get yourself a nice ego boost from ARMY going feral?

[Taehyung 10:25 PM] Absolutely not. This one is just for you.

[Taehyung 10:27 PM] Besides, you admitting it’s a feral-worthy photo is the only ego boost I need.

Shit, you walked right into that one. He was entirely too good at teasing you like this. Needing to regain the upper hand in whatever game you two seemed to be playing right now, you decided to throw caution to the wind and go in for the kill.

[10:30 PM] Alright Mr. World's Most Handsome Man, I’m going to ask you a question and I expect you to answer truthfully.

[Taehyung 10:31 PM] That title sounds so much better coming from you, but please ask away.

[10:33 PM] Are you curious about what I’m wearing underneath your hoodie?

[Taehyung 10:35 PM] Shit. I knew you knew exactly what you were doing when you sent that photo.

[10:37 PM] Answer the question TaeTae.

[Taehyung 10:38 PM] I might be.

[10:38 PM] I want a yes or no.

When he didn’t immediately reply, you goaded him further.

[10:39 PM] You were so cocky a minute ago.

[10:40 PM] Don’t be shy now.

[Taehyung 10:41 PM] Fuck. Yes. I am very curious.

[Taehyung 10:42 PM] There, I was a good boy and answered your question.

[Taehyung 10:43 PM] Do I get to know now?

[10:44 PM] Nope. It’s a secret.

[Taehyung 10:45 PM] You little minx.

[10:46 PM] 🎤 🎤 🎤

[10:48 PM] I think perhaps that’s enough teasing for one night.

You meant that for yourself as much as for him. Although you were definitely the one who started everything, you honestly hadn’t meant for it to go as far as it did. You still weren’t even sure what exactly was going on between the two of you right now, but whatever it was, it was all happening so fast. A week ago you were still convinced you two would only ever be friends and now here you were lowkey sexting. It was extremely hot, and you thoroughly enjoyed it, but it made one thing very clear: tomorrow night you two needed to have a legitimate conversation about your relationship.

[Taehyung 10:50 PM] Yes, I think you’ve tortured me enough.

[Taehyung 10:55 PM] But OK so I’ve been scrolling through the movie options and there are a bunch that look good. What are your thoughts on Frozen? I’ve seen it an embarrassing number of times, and know pretty much every word, but it’s my #1 contender right now.

And just like that, as if he hadn’t spent the last hour saying incredibly scandalous things to you and sending you half-naked photos of himself, he was back to being absolutely adorable.

Oh the duality of Kim Taehyung

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Tag List:

@mooseknucklesbussy @hordanhearsawhooo @iridescenthobi @silvyaaa @yoonglespringles10 @serendipitysev @t0rus-milk-bread @cuteipat @aomi-nabi @yessii-i @just-jeon @allizarae

Too Good To Be True - Ch. 24 | kth(m)

Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.

pairing: Taehyung x reader

genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: 18+

word count: 3.6k

warnings: cursing, alcohol consumption

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Chapter 24: Love Drunk - Part 1

It was 7:45 PM the following evening and you were giddy. There was really no other way to describe the fluttery feeling in your chest or the slight dizziness you felt every time you thought about the fact that, in just a few minutes, Tae would be arriving for your movie dinner date. It honestly just felt so surreal, the idea of him coming to see you not because you were his stylist, not because you were friends, but because he wanted to legitimately be with you.

It had been an extremely busy day taking care of all the last minute preparations before the shoot began tomorrow, but honestly that was probably a good thing. It kept your mind occupied and kept you from overthinking things and letting yourself get too nervous. You hadn’t been able to text with Tae much since he was also busy with rehearsal all day, but in a way that was good too since it was helping build up the excitement and anticipation.

After finally getting back to the hotel with the rest of the staff around 5:00 PM, you then popped out again real quick to visit the local liquor store. You weren’t a big drinker, and neither was Tae, but you thought it might be nice to have a small drink with dinner. Thankfully, the store had the only drink you could possibly imagine having to commemorate this special occasion with him: strawberry champagne.

You got back to the hotel for good around 6:00 PM with plenty of time to get ready. You wanted to look nice, but not too fancy since you were literally only hanging out in your hotel room. After trying on an absurd amount of clothes that you had specifically packed for this very occasion, you ultimately decided to go with jeans and a loose, open-neck long sleeve shirt that was just barely off the shoulder.

You had actually worn it to work once, but you realized halfway through the day that you could clearly see down your shirt when you leaned over. Tae hadn’t said anything when you did his makeup that morning, and you hadn’t specifically caught him looking, but he had seemed extremely flustered the entire time you were working on him; he was literally a blushing, stuttering mess. Later on, once you realized what was happening with your shirt, you couldn’t help but wonder if he had noticed and if that’s why he was so flustered. Smiling to yourself at the memory, you thought perhaps you might ask him about it tonight.

It was now a little after 8:00 and you were patiently, but excitedly waiting for him. The last text you got from him was around 4:00 PM when he told you he was supposed to be back at the hotel by 7:00 PM so you sent him a couple quick texts to follow-up.

[8:05 PM] Text me whenever you’re on your way so I can go make sure the coast is clear.

[8:10 PM] I’m room #218 in case you forgot.

Another 10 minutes went by without a reply, but you didn't think much of it. He had jokingly mentioned earlier that it was stressful that he had to style himself to come see his stylist. You thought maybe he was just taking a long time to get ready and decided to tease him a bit.

[8:20 PM] I hope you’re not actually stressing over your hair right now. I’m sure it will be perfect and you will look very handsome, just like always.

After a half hour of waiting, though, you still had not heard from him. All of your recent texts were unread, so you figured maybe rehearsal had run late and he wasn’t back yet or he was scrambling to get ready and therefore hadn’t checked his phone, but you began to feel anxious nonetheless.

Had you not recently been stood up, the idea that Tae might not actually be coming wouldn’t have even crossed your mind, but it did. Obviously he couldn’t just ghost you like Minho did, you would literally have to see him in about 12 hours once the shoot started, but you couldn’t stop an awful, intrusive thought from filling up your mind: that he was purposefully ignoring your texts so he could pretend like he forgot.

[8:41 PM] Tae?

[8:45 PM] Do you still want to come over?

[8:50 PM] If you’re too tired after rehearsing all day it’s OK. I understand.

You were trying so desperately to keep it together, to not let yourself jump to conclusions, but at 9:05 PM you saw Jimin post a photo from his hotel room to Weverse with the following caption:

“Happy to be resting after a long day of rehearsal. Can’t wait for you all to see this MV!”

And that’s when you lost it.

By 9:10 PM you had cracked open the bottle of champagne.

By 9:20 PM you had downed your first glass.

By 9:30 PM you had finished half the bottle.

By 9:45 PM the bottle was empty.

By 10:00 PM you were officially drunk and heartbroken. You had long ago changed out of your date attire and were now in your pajamas, a simple loose tank top and a pair of shorts. You had cried your way through the first few glasses of champagne and were now in a state of utter despair.

Waiting for Tae had been like waiting alone at that restaurant bar, only worse. Infinitely fucking worse. Minho was a stranger, someone who honestly didn’t matter in the slightest at the end of the day, but this was Tae. This was the love of your life who, up until about an hour ago, you thought might actually, finally reciprocate your feelings.

You were laying on the bed staring blankly up at the ceiling, trying to stop the room from spinning while you contemplated how you were going to move forward with your life after this, when your phone finally buzzed for the first time all night.

[Taehyung 10:05 PM] Fuck, I’m SO sorry. They made me stay late at rehearsals because I was so distracted all day and kept messing up the choreography. Son Sung Deuk literally reamed me out in front of everyone. It was so embarrassing. I left my phone in the van and they wouldn’t let me leave to go get it so I could text you. Y/N, I’m so sorry.

And just like that your drunk mind was racing. That was a perfectly logical explanation for Tae’s silence over the last two hours. It was not uncommon for one of the guys to be held back individually if they were having an off day. Him being distracted today was totally believable; you certainly had been. In fact, Mrs. Choi had yelled at you numerous times for that very reason.

Fuck, what have I done?

[Taehyung 10:10 PM] Are you still awake right now?

[10:11 PM] No.

Smooth, Y/N, very smooth.

[Taehyung 10:12 PM] Either you’re trying to be funny...or you’re mad.

[Taehyung 10:16 PM] OK, you’re mad. And you have every right to be. Again, I’m so sorry 🥺

[Taehyung 10:19 PM] I just got back to the hotel. Can I come see you?

[10:23 PM] I don’t think that’s a good idea.

It took you so many tries to write that one short sentence without any typos. The absolute last thing you wanted was for him to realize you were drunk right now.

[Taehyung 10:24 PM] Please?

[Taehyung 10:24 PM] Just for a few minutes?

[Taehyung 10:25 PM] I just want to apologize in person.

[10:31 PM] Tae, I’m not in a good place right now.

FYI, that’s code for I’M WASTED.

[Taehyung 10:32 PM] Then I definitely want to see you.

[Taehyung 10:33 PM] Please let me explain and make you feel better.

[Taehyung 10:40 PM] Y/N?

Ten minutes later you were still trying to figure out how to respond to him when you heard a knock on your door.

FUCK

This was not good. You were not in any state to be talking to him right now. The fact that you had freaked out and gotten absolutely wasted after not hearing from him was so fucking embarrassing. You wanted him to just leave so you could sleep this off and pretend like it never happened, but he knocked again, this time the more urgently. Suddenly, it dawned on you that the longer he stood out there the more likely it was that someone would see him coming to your room late at night which would be even worse than him seeing you drunk.

FUCK FUCK

You jumped up out of bed, tripping over a shoe in the process and stumbling into the wall on the way to the door. You peeked through the peephole and, sure enough, there was Tae standing outside your door looking incredibly frazzled. You undid the chain lock and the deadbolt and then opened the door, hiding behind it as you did so in order to avoid actually seeing him as long as possible. He came in and you closed the door behind him, but before he could say anything you immediately walked past him and flopped down on the bed, facing away from him.

Seeing that you were clearly very upset, he came over and laid down on the bed beside you. He gave you space, but did bring his hand up to rest on your arm.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry,” he said, softly. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“I believe you, Tae,” you assured him after a few seconds, trying to sound normal and casual. “Really, I do. It’s not a big deal.”

This was Tae, though, your best friend who read you like a book. Immediately, he realized that something more was wrong.

“Hey,” he said, now sounding extremely worried. “Can you look at me?”

Slowly, you turned to face him. He looked stressed and exhausted and his hair was all over the place, a clear sign that he had been running his hands through it. At first his gaze was on you, his eyes going wide when he noticed your red, puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks, but then he was looking at something behind you. Suddenly, he reached over you and picked up the now empty champagne bottle.

“Did you drink all of this?” he asked, his voice filled with surprise and concern.

You didn't respond. You merely nodded your head up and down.

“Because of me?” he then all but whispered, looking absolutely devastated.

You briefly considered lying and making up some sort of excuse, but ultimately thought better of it. He deserved to know the truth.

“I thought you didn't want to see me,” you admitted, your voice trembling. “I thought you were purposefully not reading my texts so you could pretend like you forgot we were supposed to see each other tonight.”

Saying those words out loud made it seem all the more ridiculous that you had actually let yourself believe that’s what had happened. The look on his face when you said them confirmed this; he looked so taken aback, so genuinely hurt that you had actually thought this.

“Y/N, do you really think I would do that to you?” he asked quietly, looking you in the eyes as he spoke, his own filled with such obvious pain it made your heart hurt.

A flood of guilt instantly washed over you. He had never given you any reason to believe he would treat you like that, but you had so easily let yourself assume the worst of him all because of something someone else had done to you.

“No. It’s just...,” you started, turning back away from him and curling yourself up into a ball. “That’s what happened last time and I just got scared.”

“Last time?” he questioned slowly. “What do you mean by ‘last time’?”

Still so embarrassed for him to know the truth about what happened that night, you didn’t say anything. You just kept staring out the window.

“Y/N?” he asked again after a minute as he gently rubbed your arm.

Again you didn’t respond at first, but you soon realized he wasn’t going to just let it go. He was probably going to find out eventually, so you might as well just say it.

“The night of our big fight,” you finally whispered.

Tae’s hand came to an abrupt halt on your arm.

“Are you saying…?” he started tensely. “Did he…?”

“He didn’t even bother to make up an excuse,” you said sadly. “Just no-showed and then ghosted me.”

Though you tried desperately to hold them back, tears began trickling down your cheeks as you spoke. With a sniffle, you quickly began wiping them away with the backs of your hands as you kept your gaze fixed on the far wall.

Tae said absolutely nothing in response to your admission. He just laid there, staring straight ahead, his grip on your arm having tightened considerably. With every passing second, your embarrassment grew and eventually, once you could no longer stand his silence, you turned towards him. The look on his face nearly stopped your heart. It was a mixture of total shock and seething anger; you had honestly never seen him look so upset before. When he looked over at you, though, his hard expression immediately softened.

“Come here,” he said gently, pulling you into his chest and wrapping his arms around you.

The moment you were settled in his embrace the floodgates opened. You cried into his shirt a mixture of tears, some of sadness over what Minho had done, but mostly of relief that Tae had not done the same.

“I’m so sorry he did that to you, Y/N,” he said in a soft, comforting voice as he rubbed your back soothingly.

“I can see why what happened tonight made you so upset,” he went on, sounding so incredibly guilty. “I’m so sorry I made you worry like that.”

“I would never do that to you, though,” he then said, hugging you closer to him. “I would never hurt you like that.”

“I know, Tae,” you said with a hiccup, your tears finally slowly down. “I’m so sorry I doubted you.”

“It’s OK,” he assured you as he brushed some of your hair away from your face. “It was all just a big misunderstanding.”

“But we’re finally together and that’s all that matters,” he then said before pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

Realizing he was absolutely right, you just snuggled deeper into his chest, curling your whole body into him. You were finally together. Not just after waiting a couple hours, but after waiting a couple years. You could honestly just feel Tae having this same realization, his hold on you tightening as he angled his body towards yours to get just a bit closer. The two of you laid there like that in each other’s arms for a long time cherishing the moment which honestly was probably the happiest of your life.

Sometime later, after cuddling like that for who knows how long, you broke the silence with a question that had been on the tip of your tongue all night.

“Was the Itaewon Class photoshoot a date?” you questioned hesitantly.

“Yes, it was most definitely a date,” he replied instantly, his face breaking out into a big smile. “Took you long enough to figure that out.”

Even though you had essentially already come to that conclusion yourself, and he had said and done many things since then to indicate that conclusion was right, it felt so good to hear him officially say it.

“Ok, just checking,” you said as a big, cheesy smile broke out across your face as well.

“It was definitely the best date I’ve ever been on,” you then said before jokingly adding. “And not just because you actually showed up.”

“I’m still so fucking angry about that,” he said back, legitimately tensing up as he spoke.

“Don’t be,” you assured him. “It’s really not important anymore.”

“Honestly, the worst part about it was that I did my hair and my makeup and got all dressed up for nothing,” you then said with a small laugh.

“It wasn’t for nothing,” he said after a moment. “I got to see how beautiful you looked.”

“You’re just saying that to make me feel better,” you said with a bashful smile.

“No I’m really not,” he said seriously.

“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about how you looked in that dress,” he then admitted, his voice dropping ever so slightly as he spoke.

“You remember what it looked like?” you asked shyly as you mindlessly traced the pattern on his shirt with your finger.

He took a deep breath before answering you.

“It was emerald green, like the color of my mic, and covered in floral lace,” he started slowly. “It had a fitted, V-neck bodice held up by thin straps and a flowy, high-low skirt that billowed out so prettily whenever you moved.”

Your mouth dropped open: he had just described your dress perfectly. It was literally like he was reading the item description from the website you bought it at. The fact that he had remembered all of that was absolutely mind blowing.

“You looked stunning in it,” he went on as he gently stroked your arm. “So incredibly beautiful.”

He hesitated slightly before continuing, as if debating how much more of this memory he should reveal.

“I wanted to kiss you the moment I saw you standing there,” he said dreamily. “I should have. I should have kissed you and made you mine right then and there.”

“But, I didn’t,” he continued, a mixture of anguish and bitterness now in his voice. “I let you leave and then sat at home all night wondering if he was kissing you, wondering if he was making you laugh or holding your hand or touching that pretty lace.”

“That was honestly one of the worst nights of my life,” he then said quietly. “And I had no one to blame but myself.”

He was silent for a few moments, letting the weight of his statement wash over you, before he spoke again.

“I’m so angry that he hurt you, Y/N, but I’m selfishly so relieved that he didn’t get to kiss you or touch you or even see how beautiful you looked,” he finally whispered.

You were absolutely melting in his arms right now, the admission of his desire and jealousy almost too much to handle.

“You could kiss me now,” you said tentatively as you leaned back to look at him.

He looked at you, his gaze unabashedly lingering on your lips, and for a moment you were sure he was going to do it, but then he didn’t.

“You don’t want to anymore?” you said in the smallest voice imaginable, recoiling from him ever so slightly.

“I do,” he replied instantly, almost desperately, as he pulled you back into him. “I want to kiss you more than I’ve ever wanted anything before in my entire life.”

“But, I want our first kiss to be special,” he then said tenderly as he brought a hand up to cup your cheek. “I don’t want it to happen when you’ve been drinking.”

Your heart overflowed with adoration at his words; he was absolutely right. Even though you could definitely give your consent, anything you did right now would undoubtedly be marred by the fact that you’d downed an entire bottle of champagne a few hours ago. After all this time, all this waiting, you didn’t want your first kiss to be forever tainted because of that.

“You’re right,” you agreed with a sigh.

“I’m sorry I ruined everything,” you then added quietly.

“Y/N,” he gently scolded. “You did not ruin anything.”

He was being so kind and understanding right now, but you still couldn’t help but feel unbelievably embarrassed and also incredibly frustrated. If you hadn’t been such an insecure idiot earlier this night would have turned out so much differently; you could have his perfect lips on yours right now.

“But I did,” you said defeatedly.

“Tae, you really should get going,” you then added. “The shoot starts tomorrow and it’s already so late.”

“You should be sleeping right now, not dealing with me being drunk,” you went on.

“I’m not leaving now,” he said with complete seriousness, giving you a surprised look. “I’m going to stay and take care of you.”

“You don’t have to do that, though,” you replied guiltily.

“But, I want to,” he said earnestly, his eyes filled with nothing but sincerity.

“Besides, even if I went back to my room now I’d still be up all night worrying about you,” he continued.

Overcome with emotion at just how sweet and caring and wonderful he was, you sat up slightly, leaned down, and gave him a kiss on the cheek. As you pulled back to look at him, you saw him wearing the most adorable expression you’ve ever seen on his beautiful face.

“That’s the first time you’ve ever kissed me,” he said shyly, his cheeks turning pink as he spoke.

You realized he was right. He’d given you several kisses before, on your fingers, your hand, your temple, the top of your head just now, but you had never given him any.

“And it won’t be the last,” you said with a grin as you leaned back down and kissed his other cheek, already making good on that promise.

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Too Good To Be True - Ch. 25 | kth(m)

Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.

pairing: Taehyung x reader

genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: 18+

word count: 3.6k

warnings: cursing, mentions alcohol consumption, some slight adult content (hehehe)

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Chapter 25: Love Drunk - Part 2

After discovering there was no food in your room except for dark chocolate, Tae called down to room service using the most ridiculous fake woman’s voice you’d ever heard. You were literally howling with laughter as he ordered the pancakes you asked for and nearly rolled off the bed when he told them his name was ‘Mrs. Choi’. When he was finished, he hung up the phone and walked over to where you were laying.

“You need to keep it down, little missy,” he said sternly, but with a smirk as he caged you with his arms and hovered over you.

Your laughter ceased immediately; being scolded by sexy, serious Tae was infinitely more arousing now that you could act on the desire he fueled in you.

“And if I don’t?” you asked mischievously, giving him your best smoldering stare.

He leaned down to whisper in your ear, “Then you will be punished.”

Well fuck

It dawned on you just then that you were now maybe, hopefully dating not only the World’s Most Handsome Man, but arguably the world’s biggest tease. If you were going to survive him, you knew you needed to step your game up.

“You’re only teasing yourself, Mr. Kim,” you replied coyly. “As per the rules of my drunkenness, I’m fairly certain none of the punishments you have in mind are permissible.”

The look on his face when you said that was absolutely delicious: it was a mixture of complete astonishment and unmistakable lust.

“Little minx,” he muttered as he pulled away from you, echoing his sentiment from last night. “You are going to be the death of me.”

After recovering from that steamy encounter, and while waiting for your pancakes to arrive, drunk you then thought it was best to perform your own interpretive dance to Dynamite. Tae found your performance inspiring and declared that, should he be unable to perform tomorrow, he would most definitely nominate you as his replacement. He gave it the following officially unofficial scores: 10/10 for creativity, 11/10 for effort, and 9.5/10 for execution, the .5 point deduction coming because you accidentally knocked over a lamp while attempting a fan kick. Once you were finished, he then performed the actual Dynamite choreography, with a little extra flare that came in the form of several winks, lip bites, and blown kisses.

When your pancakes were delivered you obviously had to be the one to get the door and when you got back inside you found Tae with the remote in his hand, his big, boxy smile plastered on his face. You turned to look at the TV and, sure enough, the opening credits to Frozen were playing. You ate your pancakes with your hands, claiming that they tasted better that way, a statement which Tae wholeheartedly agreed with. They came with strawberry jam, but you just wanted to eat them plain so you let Tae have that. He ate it from the little container with his finger, doing so ever so slightly seductively and giving you a little smirk when you noticed and blushed.

When you were done eating you moved to sit between his legs, your back resting against his sturdy chest as he leaned against the headboard. He kept his arms snuggly wrapped around your waist, briefly removing one every now and then to grab the glass of water from the bedside table to remind you to drink. Every so often he would ask how you were feeling and when you at one point said you had a bit of a headache, he jumped up to get the Ibuprofen you kept in your purse. After you took some, he made sure to settle right back into his previous spot, his arms instantly encircling you once more.

As you kept watching the movie, you realized he truly did know almost all of the words which you found absolutely adorable. Listening to him sing “Do You Want To Build A Snowman?” was so endearing that your love for him had literally doubled by the time the song was over. Once the movie finally came to an end a little while later and Tae turned off the TV, a giant yawn involuntarily escaped you.

“Is my Y/N sleepy?” he asked softly, sweeping your hair to the side and placing a little kiss just behind your ear.

“Maybe,” you replied, smiling at his words and giggling because that tickled just a bit. You would never stop loving how wonderful it sounded when he called you his.

“But, I don’t want you to leave so I have to stay awake,” you then said sleepily.

“Who says I’m going to leave?” he asked in reply, hugging you a little tighter as he spoke. “I believe I owe you a night’s worth of cuddles.”

A million butterflies fluttered in your stomach at the thought of him actually staying the night with you. Even if you were truly just going to sleep, it was still such an intimate thing to do together. It was something you wanted, though, something you truly felt ready for. You may have only been unofficially together for a week, but you had known and trusted and loved him for years. Intimacy, of every kind, was something you desperately craved with him.

“Yes, I believe you do,” you replied shyly as you slid your hands down his arms and intertwined your fingers with his.

For the next few minutes you just sat there like that, basking in not just the current moment, but in all the wonderful moments, both big and small, that comprised the entire evening. To be completely honest, the thought that you might actually be asleep and dreaming did cross your mind; it all just seemed so unreal. However, the sound of Tae’s voice pulled you from that thought.

“I was wondering if maybe you would like to hear my song now?” he asked hesitantly.

“I would love to,” you replied dreamily.

And so he sang his song for you, the sad, sweet lullaby about ships that you first heard what felt like ages ago. You realized at once that the song wasn’t simply about love, rather, it was a confession of love. Even in your half-asleep, still slightly buzzed state of existence, you were all but sure as to why he wrote it and why he was singing it for you now.

Around and around your mind whirled searching for the words to say and the courage to say them once he stopped singing, but nothing seemed right. Nothing you thought of could match the tenderness and sincerity of his voice, could quell the unmistakable sense of longing or secure the loose thread of hesitation woven throughout the song. In the end, though, it mattered not; the song was most certainly a lullaby, the sound of his soft, wistful humming after the second chorus being the last thing you remember hearing before you finally drifted off.

After falling asleep on his chest, you woke at some point a while later to the feeling of him gently extracting himself from your embrace. Now completely sober and suddenly feeling very self-conscious about everything that had happened, you kept your eyes closed and pretended to still be asleep. He laid you down beside him, making sure to tuck you under the covers, but then got up from the bed. For a minute or two you heard him shuffling around the room, the indistinct rustling giving nothing away as to what he was doing, until eventually the lights flicked off.

For one heart-stopping moment you thought he might be leaving, that he had changed his mind about staying, changed his mind about you, but then suddenly you felt the bed dip. The covers were lifted up briefly as he crawled under them and laid down beside you. The next thing you knew, his arm was snaking around your waist and gently pulling you closer until your back was flush with his now bare chest. He kept his arm wrapped around you, his fingers grazing the exposed skin between your tank top and shorts, as he nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck. A second later he pressed a gentle kiss to your shoulder and then whispered two words just barely loud enough for you to hear.

“Goodnight, jagi.”

~~~

When you woke the next morning in Tae’s koala-bear-like embrace, you realized you were absolutely wrong last night: this was the happiest moment of your life. You had flipped over at some point during the night and were now facing him. The two of you were also now sharing a pillow, your faces close enough that you could count his long, beautiful eyelashes. His arm was still wrapped around your waist and his leg was now haphazardly thrown over yours. You were positive you could not have escaped his hold even if you tried, but that was not at all a problem; you would have been perfectly happy staying there with him like that forever.

A few moments later, when he opened his eyes and gave you the most adorable sleepy smile, you felt an incredible urge to tell him you loved him. You almost did it too, but at the last second you got cold feet. He hadn’t explicitly said it last night and you were still ever so slightly afraid that you’d misinterpreted the meaning of his song and him singing it for you.

“Hi,” he said, making absolutely no move to extract himself from you.

“Hi,” you said back, a shy smile on your face.

“How are you feeling?” he asked with a slightly concerned expression. “Do you have a headache or anything?”

“No, I feel OK,” you replied honestly before adding. “Thanks to a certain someone taking such good care of me.”

His face broke out into his signature big, boxy grin which you decided looked infinitely cuter than usual while laying in bed.

“Did I say or do anything embarrassing last night?” you then asked him hesitantly.

Instantly, his smile disappeared.

“Wait, do you not remember parts of last night?” he asked, sounding slightly panicked as he retracted his arm and leg.

“No, no, no. Tae, I remember everything,” you quickly assured him.

“I guess I was just trying to get your opinion on whether or not I made a complete fool of myself,” you went on sheepishly.

He visibly relaxed when you said that, and placed his hand back on your waist, but then furrowed his brow at you.

“You were not a fool,” he gently scolded before adding with a smile. “You were just silly and adorable.”

You breathed out a sigh of relief. You realized he likely wouldn’t have stayed the night if he thought you were a complete trainwreck, but it was still nice to get reassurance that you had not ruined everything with your drunken shenanigans.

As you looked back over at him and gave him a small smile, the gravity of the whole situation finally seemed to dawn on you. Kim Taehyung was in your bed right now. Correction: Kim Taehyung had been in your bed all night. Furthermore, he had spent that entire time holding you while shirtless, a fact you were reminded of every time your gaze wandered down from his beautiful face. You were trying, and completely failing, to keep your eyes from lingering on his bare chest, when suddenly he spoke up.

“I have a confession,” he said, looking extremely nervous.

“Ok,” you said slowly as your heart began beating erratically in your chest.

He was quiet then for a few moments and you held your breath waiting for him to continue.

“The night of The Grammys,” he started. “I-I remember everything.”

Your mouth dropped open.

“I told you I didn’t because I was embarrassed, but I did,” he said, wincing as he spoke.

“I wanted to see you,” he continued. “I was drunk and happy and I just wanted to see you.”

“I wasn’t trying to like get with you,” he quickly clarified. “Though, you did look insanely hot in that sequin tank top which was incredibly distracting.”

“Kim Taehyung, did you purposefully smear strawberry jam on a $1,500 shirt just so you could ask me to come clean it?” you asked incredulously.

“No, no! I swear I didn’t. I really was that clumsy,” he said with a laugh. “But it was the perfect excuse to text you. At least, that’s what my drunken brain thought.”

There were a million thoughts rushing through your mind and a million emotions washing over you right now, but ultimately the only response to his confession that felt appropriate was to burst out laughing.

“I’m going to kill you and that goddamn jammy shirt,” you said a moment later once you had caught your breath.

“We raised a ton of money for charity with the auction if it makes you feel any better,” he said, grinning at you.

“It does,” you replied with another laugh.

It got quiet again for a minute and you found yourself thinking that the whole incident from the night of The Grammys would one day make a really great story. You then blushed, and internally scolded yourself for jumping ten steps ahead, when you realized who exactly you imagined telling the story to.

“I’m sorry,” he then said, sounding serious once more. “I know I shouldn’t have lied to you.”

“I just panicked when I woke up in the morning and you weren’t there,” he continued quietly. “I thought you were mad at me or that you felt uncomfortable or unsafe being with me.”

Recalling the momentary panic you felt last night when you thought he was leaving, and knowing how absolutely devastated you would have been to wake up this morning with him gone, an enormous wave of guilt instantly washed over you.

“Tae, I’m so sorry for leaving like that,” you said, reaching up to take his hand in yours.

“I was just really overwhelmed,” you then admitted. “Waking up in your room, in your bed, and in your clothes was kind of devastating, to be honest.”

“It was like a dream come true that then turned into a nightmare when I remembered that I wasn’t supposed to be there,” you continued. “That you didn’t actually want me there.”

“But, I did want you there,” he said earnestly. “Even if it only happened by accident.”

“The moment I saw how cute you looked in my pajamas I decided I couldn’t wait any longer,” he then added with a sad smile. “I was going to tell you how I felt the next morning.”

“You were?” you asked softly.

He nodded his head in reply and you felt your heart constrict. The two of you could have been together months ago, could have avoided so much heartbreak, if you hadn’t left that morning.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered as an immense amount of regret welled up inside you.

“Y/N, it’s OK. It doesn’t matter anymore” he said gently as he let go of your hand and instead reached up to cup your cheek. “We’re together now.”

He then stared into your eyes with that same intent look he gave you on the beach, the same one he gave you last night. His eyes flicked down to your lips as he nervously licked his own. He tilted his head ever so slightly and you instinctively mirrored the action. Then you were both slowly leaning in. Your lips were just inches apart as your eyes fluttered closed.

Oh my god it is finally going to happen…

*KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK*

At the sudden sound of someone absolutely pounding on your hotel room door, you two instantly jumped apart.

“Were you expecting someone this morning?” Tae whispered frantically.

“No!” you practically yelled in return.

Just then a few more loud knocks came, this time along with some commentary.

“Y/N, you better be awake!” the muffled, but unmistakable sound of Mrs. Choi’s voice said impatiently.

Fucking Mrs. Choi would be the one to ruin the most romantic moment of my life

“Shit, shit, shit,” you said, scrambling up out of the bed.

Tae got up too and immediately started looking around the room for somewhere to hide.

“Fuck, get in the bathroom,” you whispered, opening the door and shoving him inside. “Hide in the shower just in case.”

Two seconds later you opened the door to find Mrs. Choi mid-knock, a look of extreme annoyance plastered on her face.

“I see you were still in bed just now,” she said, eyeing you disdainfully. “I’m disappointed, but not surprised.”

“I was expecting you to take the first bus over this morning,” she added bluntly.

You tried to respond, but she immediately cut you off.

“This is your concept we’re using today,” she then went on. “You have a responsibility to make sure it’s executed properly.”

“Yes, Mrs. Choi. Of course,” you replied sweetly, trying so hard not to let it be known that you wanted nothing more than to murder her right now. “I will be ready shortly.”

“Good,” she then said curtly before turning on her heel and storming off down the hall.

You shut the door, closed your eyes, and then leaned your forehead against it.

Fuck that was a close call

“You can come out now,” you then called to Tae as you began fiddling with the door’s numerous locks.

You heard the bathroom door open and when you turned back around a few moments later you found Tae standing right in front of you. He immediately brought his hands up to cup your cheeks and the next thing you knew his plush, pink lips were pressed against yours. It took your brain a fraction of a second to register what was happening, but then you were kissing him back, every nerve ending in your body alight.

The kiss was soft and gentle and ever so slightly hesitant, but so sweet and so indescribably perfect. Every other thought in your head disappeared and the rest of the world faded away as the only thing you could focus on was the feeling of Tae’s lips on yours. You were in a state of complete euphoria; kissing him was literally everything you ever dreamed it would be and more.

After a couple seconds he released your lips and leaned his forehead against yours, his eyes still closed. He dropped his hands from your face and instead laced them with your own at your sides. You two stood there like that for a few wordless, blissful moments before he finally whispered, “I have wanted to do that for three years.”

“Me too,” you whispered back.

A few seconds of silence passed as the weight of your confessions settled in.

“Can I do it again?” he asked hesitantly.

“Yes,” you answered immediately.

At once his lips returned to yours only this time there was no trace of hesitancy. The kiss was urgent and hungry, fueled by years of pent up desire. At some point you must have stopped holding each others’ hands because his were now gripping your hips and yours were wrapped around his neck.

He backed you against the door slowly and when you felt his bare chest press against your thinly covered one you let out a soft moan. His kisses grew even more passionate in response as his hands pushed up the bottom of your tank top to settle on your waist. When you began tugging gently on the hair at the nape of his neck a moment later he let out a low groan of his own, a sound which you found to be utterly intoxicating.

Eager to taste that wicked, teasing tongue of his, you swiped yours against his lower lip. He complied immediately and began deepening the kiss with a dominance that had you going weak at the knees. When he gave your lower lip a soft bite a moment later, you reflexively arched your back, pressing your hips forward into his.

A jolt of electricity instantly shot through you upon feeling that he was as turned on as you were, but it dissipated a second later when he suddenly broke the kiss, removed his hands, and pulled back to look at you.

“W-we should stop,” he said breathlessly.

You were confused and on the verge of panic thinking you’d somehow already managed to ruin things with your subpar kissing abilities when he spoke again.

“I-I want to take it slow,” he said nervously. “But, I honestly don’t feel like I can control myself right now.”

“You are so beautiful and so sexy and I want to do so much more than kiss you right now,” he admitted as he slowly ran his hands down your sides, eventually settling them on the thin strip of exposed skin just below your tank top.

“But, I want to wait,” he then said, leaning his forehead against yours again. “I want to savor this. I want to savor you.”

You felt yourself flush immediately, but it wasn’t because you were embarrassed. If he had intended to de-escalate the situation with that statement, he had unfortunately failed miserably. Kim Taehyung admitting that you were making him lose control was just about the hottest thing anyone had ever said to you.

But, you fought back the urge to pull him in for another kiss because he was absolutely right, you should take this slow. After years of waiting and hoping to one day be with him, you wanted to savor every last drop of it too.

“OK,” you whispered as you kissed the beauty mark on the tip of his nose. “We’ll take it slow.”

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Too Good To Be True - Ch. 26 | kth(m)

Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.

pairing: Taehyung x reader

genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: 18+

word count: 3.6k

warnings: cursing, making out, some light touching, SO MUCH TEASING

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Chapter 26: Such A Tease

As you stood off to the side on set later that day watching the guys run through the choreography, you simply could not calm your racing heart. Your smile, the one that had been plastered on your face since the moment Tae left your room that morning, felt like a scarlet letter. It’s not that there was anything inherently wrong with grinning from ear to ear for hours at a time, but Tae had been sporting the same exact expression all day.

People had immediately noticed his change in demeanor and performance from the previous day. Son Sung Deuk had simply complimented him, noting how focused he seemed and how sharp his movements were, but the guys were less subtle in pointing out Tae’s altered state. While you were touching up his hair after they’d filmed the first couple scenes, Jungkook strolled over and straight up called him out.

“Alright, what are you on right now?” Jungkook asked jokingly. “Yesterday you were a mess, but today your dancing is better than Hobi-hyung’s.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Tae said, his smile somehow growing even larger.

“That. That right there,” the younger man said, pointing directly at Tae’s face. “Why are you so smiley today?”

“I just really love this song,” Tae said with a laugh.

Your heart skipped a beat at the potential double meaning of his words.

“And, I really love this green suit Y/N picked out for me,” he added cheekily a second later. “I don’t know what it is, but people always look extremely attractive in green.”

You bit back a laugh and hoped that Jungkook couldn’t see how much you were blushing right now. When he left a few minutes later, you gave Tae the sternness glare you could muster, which probably was not all that threatening, but all he gave you in return was a knowing smirk.

An hour or so later you were in one of the trailers organizing the outfits the guys would be wearing next when Tae walked in with a mischievous look on his face.

“Kim Taehyung, are you following me?” you asked, raising an eyebrow at him questioningly.

“I most certainly am not,” he said in mock defense as he scanned the room and hastily picked up a hair dryer sitting on the table. “I came here for this hair dryer.”

“Your hair isn’t wet,” you said, trying to hold back a smile as you folded your arms over your chest and gave him a dubious look.

“Ahh, you’re right. It’s not,” he said as he set the hair dryer down. “I guess I don’t need it after all.”

“But, since I’m here anyway, I might as well give you this,” he then said with a smirk as he leaned over and gave you a kiss on the cheek.

“Tae!” you scolded, the big, silly grin you were now sporting making it obvious you were anything but angry. “You can’t do stuff like that.”

“Jagi, no one else is in here,” he replied calmly, giving you a shy smile.

“Well, you’re also being way too obvious out there,” you then added somewhat seriously.

“Obvious about what?” he asked innocently.

“Obvious about the fact that I woke up this morning with a beautiful woman in my arms? Or that I then got to make out with said beautiful woman?” he went on teasingly, wiggling his eyebrows at you in such a ridiculous way that you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Or,” he continued, suddenly sounding much more serious. “Is it too obvious that I am the happiest man in South Korea, perhaps even the entire world?”

As he said this, he took your hands. He brought each one up to his lips and placed a gentle kiss to your fingertips, just like he did that night on the roof.

“You make me so happy, Y/N,” he said, giving you his big, boxy grin. “I just can’t hide it.”

“You make me happy too, Tae,” you replied, smiling back at him with so much love in your heart you thought for sure it might explode.

“But, could you please just try to look slightly less ridiculously happy?” you asked with a laugh as you let go of his hands and turned back to the rack of clothes. “Maybe throw in a frown every once in a while?”

“I will try,” he replied seriously before his face broke out into another smile. “But, I cannot make any promises.”

You were about to then shoo him out so you could get some actual work done, when suddenly he spoke up again.

“Can I please just have one kiss before I go back out there?” he asked sweetly, giving you his puppy dog eyes. “It’s been like 6 whole hours since I last kissed you and that’s just too long.”

You looked over at him and, for perhaps the millionth time in your life, thought to yourself that he was entirely too charming for his own good.

“One kiss,” you said sternly.

You pulled him into a corner in the back of the trailer behind the clothing racks where you couldn’t be seen from the door or any of the windows. Gripping the vest of his green suit, you drew him in for what you thought would be one quick kiss. You were fooling yourself, though, for thinking that would be enough to satiate either of you. One kiss turned into two which then turned into three...

“I thought you said just one,” he pulled back to say with a smirk.

“You’re right, I did. We should sto-,” you started, but were cut off when Tae’s lips crashed back onto yours.

Before you knew it, he had an arm wrapped around your lower back holding you tightly to him, the other bracing against the wall behind you. His kisses were deep and passionate and you found yourself utterly lost in them as all rational thought left you. You should not be doing this with him right now, here on the set of a fucking BTS music video, but you couldn’t bring yourself to stop.

You were cursing yourself for dressing him in this green suit that made him sinfully irresistible when suddenly he broke the kiss. Instead of pulling away, though, he began trailing kisses down your jawline and onto your neck.

“I’ve always wanted to kiss you here,” he said a moment later before his lips latched onto the sensitive spot just below your ear.

“Fuck, Tae,” you breathed out, trying desperately to keep it together despite the fact that what he was doing felt so good. “D-Don’t leave marks.”

“I won’t, Jagi,” he assured you before pulling back to give you a wicked smile. “At least not where anyone else can see.”

You were on the verge of losing it, wondering where exactly on your body he planned on hiding his kisses, when suddenly you heard the sound of Namjoon’s voice calling out Tae’s name somewhere outside the trailer.

“Shit, I’ve got to go,” he said, immediately letting go of you. He gave you another quick peck, flashed you an adorable smile, and then sprinted out of the trailer.

Fucking Kim Taehyung and his duality

He would come in here acting all sweet and innocent, get you all worked up with his hot neck kisses, and then have to leave. After taking a few minutes to compose yourself, and finish organizing the clothes, you casually strolled out of the trailer, determined not to let anyone, especially Tae, know just how tightly you were wrapped around his finger.

~~~

Shooting didn't wrap up until almost 8:30 PM and the buses didn’t get back to the hotel until after 9:00 PM. On top of that, for reasons you would never understand, the guys were scheduled to do a VLive starting at 10:00 PM.

It had been a long day and you knew Tae was exhausted; he and the rest of the guys had literally been on the floor once the final scenes were filmed. You didn’t want to bother him, but you couldn’t deny that you wanted more than anything for him to stay with you again. It just felt so wonderful falling asleep and waking up in his arms. Unsure how to ask, or even broach the subject, you were in the process of rewriting a text to him for the umpteenth time when you received one from him.  

[Taehyung 9:23 PM] So I was thinking. We got to bed so late last night that I’m not sure I can count it as giving you a full night of cuddles. I think I might still owe you…

He wanted to stay with you again too

And, just like that you were that person smiling down at your phone like an idiot.

[9:24 PM] Hmm you’re right. According to my calculations, you definitely still owe me. Would you like to pay off your debt tonight?

[Taehyung 9:25 PM] Yes. Absolutely.

[Taehyung 9:26 PM] We still have this VLive at 10, though, so I might not be there until pretty late. I don’t want to keep you up. I know you must be tired. You worked so hard today.

You had worked really hard today. Mrs. Choi had made sure of that. The fact that he noted this, even though he and the rest of the guys clearly worked even harder, was just so sweet.

[9:28 PM] I don’t mind if it’s late. I could maybe give you one of my room keys? Just in case I fall asleep? That way you don’t have to wait in the hallway.

[Taehyung 9:29 PM] OK, that sounds good. I’ll stop by to get it in like 15 minutes.

[9:30 PM] OK 😊

With a sudden burst of diabolical inspiration about how to get back at Tae for his shenanigans in the trailer, you suddenly leapt to your feet and strode over to your suitcase. After rummaging around in it for a minute or so, you finally found what you were looking for: the black lace bra and panties you may or may not have bought specifically for this trip. You hastily put them on and then threw Tae’s hoodie on over top.

A few minutes later, you were eagerly watching through the peephole of your door, its many locks already undone. As soon as you saw him come into view, you yanked the door open and he quickly slipped inside. You closed the door and turned to find him staring at you, his gaze fixed on your barely covered legs.

He didn't say a word, he simply walked over to you, slowly backing you against the wall in the process. Cupping your cheeks, he brought his lips to yours for a slow, sensual kiss that had you almost forgetting your plan entirely. After a minute, he dropped his hands from your face and gently ran them down your sides.

“What are you wearing underneath this?” he asked softly as he toyed with the hem of his hoodie.

“I’ll let you find out for yourself,” you replied flirtatiously. “But, there’s a catch.”

“You can look or you can touch, but you cannot do both,” you went on, biting your lower lip seductively like you’d seen him do countless times before.

Without hesitating, he put his hands on the sides of your bare legs. After watching your reaction to make sure that was OK with you, he then slowly began running them upwards and underneath his hoodie. Higher and higher he went, well past the point where a pair of shorts would have sat, until finally his fingers brushed the delicate fabric.

“Fuck,” he breathed out.

“You seemed to really like my lace dress,” you whispered in his ear. “I thought you might like these too.”

For a moment he was still, utterly transfixed by the feeling of the thin, lacy band beneath his fingertips, but he soon began running his fingers back and forth along the fabric, his touch light and gentle and ever so slightly hesitant. When he slid his hands backward, his eyes went wide when he felt how cheeky the panties were, how little they actually covered and how they perfectly hugged the curve of your ass. When he then slipped his hands to the front and trailed his fingers over the little bow just below your navel, he swore again under his breath.

“Do you like them?” you asked innocently, now looking up at him with big doe eyes.

“I fucking love them,” he all but whispered.

“Do you wear things like this every day?” he then asked in a low, husky voice as he continued to play with the bow, gently pulling it and letting the band snap back softly against your skin.

“Only for special occasions,” you replied, trying to sound casual despite the fact that having his hands on you like this was driving you wild.

“Good,” he murmured, leaning his forehead against yours. “I’ll never be able to focus at work if I know you’re wearing these.”

“Well in that case, maybe I will start wearing them to the studio,” you then said coyly.

He pulled back to look at you and you saw something dark flash across his beautiful features.

“Now you’re just being a tease,” he said with a sternness that shot right through you.

“You’ve always been such a tease,” he went on. “Wearing those loose shirts that you know I can see down or that one skin-tight pair of dark jeans that make this look incredible.”

As he said that last part, he slid both hands backward again to palm your ass and give it a light squeeze. He then kept them there, his fingers slowly tracing the outline of the lace. If you didn’t already have a kink for his hands, you most certainly did now. You simply could not get over how fucking huge they were; he could literally cup your entire cheek in one hand.

“You knew I couldn’t have you, but you made me want you anyway,” he continued as he brought his hands back to your sides and then dipped his fingers beneath the lacy band. He then began trailing them back and forth along your hips, each time coming a little further forward, a little closer to where you most wanted them.

“You can have me now,” you whispered, now incredibly turned on and well aware of the fact that he was definitely the one teasing you.

“Unfortunately, I don’t think there’s time for that,” he said regretfully, giving you a devilish smirk before removing his hands from you entirely. “Our VLive starts in 5 minutes.”

You pouted at him, folding your arms across your chest.

“Don’t give me that face. You started this,” he teased before placing a light kiss on your pouty lips.

“But, I really do have to go now,” he then said seriously, looking genuinely disappointed, as he brought his hand up to gently caress your cheek. “I’ll see you later tonight, OK?”

“OK,” you replied as your pout morphed into a shy smile.    

He gave you another quick peck, took the spare key from you, and was about to open the door to leave when suddenly he turned back around. In the blink of an eye his lips were back on yours for a brief, but incredibly intense kiss.

“Just so you know, it’s not the lace, Jagi,” he said after releasing your lips. “It’s you in the lace.”

With that, he finally left your room, leaving you rooted to the spot, smiling like a fool, and blushing from head to toe.

~~~

It was almost midnight by the time he came to your room. You had been teetering on the edge of sleep for the last hour, trying desperately to stay awake so you could see him. The moment you heard the door unlock, though, you were wide awake. You heard him shuffle into the room, heard the unmistakable sound of him unzipping his jeans and removing his outer layers of clothing, and then heard him call out to you.

“Y/N?” Tae whispered.

“No, it’s Mrs. Choi,” you replied, biting back a laugh.

“Oh god, don’t even joke about that,” he said back as he climbed onto the bed.

“I might leave now just because you said that,” he went on, though, as he said this he was already slipping under the covers.

“You’re not going to leave,” you said smugly, turning to face him. “You want my cuddles.”

“I do want them,” he admitted with a laugh as he wrapped his arm around you and pulled you flush against him. “I need them, actually.”

He leaned in to kiss you then, but this kiss was much different than the urgent, hungry ones you’d shared that morning and throughout in the day. This kiss was slow and sweet, passionate too, but not as if it was meant to lead anywhere. It felt like he was kissing you simply for the sake of kissing you and being close to you, not because he wanted anything from you, which you appreciated so much.

It’s not that you didn't want to do more with him physically, because you definitely did, especially after all the teasing you two did today, but you didn’t want your entire relationship to be centered on that. It meant the world to you that he seemed to feel the same, that he came here tonight not with an agenda or expectations, but to truly just be with you.

“I loved waking up next to you this morning,” he said once you parted, sounding so sincere. “I wish you were the first thing I saw every day.”

If anyone else had said this, you would have worried it was some sort of practiced line, but this was Tae. You knew he wasn’t like that. He simply said whatever came to mind in the moment and what he was thinking right now were the most adorable, wonderful thoughts.

“You’re making me blush,” you said shyly as you hid your face in the crook of his neck. “You can’t see it because it’s dark, but I am.”

“I love making you blush,” he teased.

“I remember the first time I ever said you looked cute you turned the prettiest shade of pink,” he went on. As he spoke, you could just hear the smile in his voice.

“Stop,” you whined. “I’m going to die of embarrassment.”

“It would be my pleasure to revive you via mouth-to-mouth,” he said back smoothly.

You burst out laughing. “If the embarrassment doesn’t kill me, your cheesy pickup lines will.”

“Well then we should start planning your funeral now because they are only going to get cheesier,” he replied before he too started to laugh.

The two of you then spent the next hour talking and giggling and, yes, occasionally locking lips. You knew you should have gone to bed right away, the second day of the shoot was starting in just a couple hours, but you were far too excited to sleep. It just felt like you guys had too much to catch up on, too much lost time to start making up for, to waste a single moment on sleep.

As it neared 1:00 AM, and you were finally starting to get sleepy, it dawned on you that being here with him on a trip like this was actually such a tease. In the hotel you had relatively easy access to each other with your rooms being just a floor apart. Since Big Hit had actually gone ahead and rented out the entire hotel, you didn’t have to worry about being spotted by fans or the media or any other random people. You obviously had to be careful about being seen by other members of the BTS team, but they weren’t specifically watching Tae’s every move like many people would be outside the hotel. Even in the trailer, where you were literally on set with the entire rest of the team, you had been able to get some privacy.

Back in Seoul, once you returned to normal life, things would undoubtedly be different. You wouldn’t get any privacy at Big Hit; there would be no closed, locked doors to hide behind. You could still spend time together in the studio, but it would have to be in a strictly platonic capacity. If you wanted to actually see each other, you would have to go to each others’ apartments, which was easier said than done. Tae lived in a gated apartment complex that was under constant surveillance by security as well as by the media and sasaeng fans. You lived in a random apartment building that would be extremely difficult for him to visit without being followed or recognized.

You suddenly found yourself feeling rather anxious about everything, wondering what exactly you’d gotten yourself into and how you were supposed to make it all work.

“Tae,” you called out softly, almost nervously, after you’d flipped around to get ready to actually go to sleep. “What happens when we get home?”

“We figure it out together,” he said simply, seeming to know exactly what you were asking, as he gathered you in his arms and pulled you close.

“OK,” you replied, his quiet confidence already making you feel infinitely better.

“Goodnight, Tae,” you said a moment later.

“Goodnight, Jagi,” he replied, once again giving your shoulder a little kiss.

You took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and then closed your eyes.

You'll figure it out together

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Too Good To Be True - Ch. 27 | kth(m)

Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.

pairing: Taehyung x reader

genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: 18+

word count: 4.0k

warnings: cursing, heavy petting, mentions of character death

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Chapter 27: The Real World

Seventeen days.

It had been seventeen days since you had last been with Tae in any meaningful capacity. Seventeen days since you had last been alone with him. Seventeen days since he had last held you in his arms. Seventeen days since you had last felt his lips on yours.

It had been the longest seventeen days of your life.

Figuring things out back in the real world was infinitely harder than either of you imagined it would be. Over the course of just those three days at the Dynamite music video shoot, you two had managed to completely destroy the emotional dam you had spent the previous three years carefully constructing. Everything was now pouring out, and there was absolutely nothing you could do to stop it, but it was all just flowing into the abyss since you couldn’t actually be together.

Having to act normal and casual everyday at work like nothing between you two had changed was incredibly difficult and honestly painful. You wanted to openly comfort him when he was stressed or upset. You wanted to hold his hand or hug him when you were having a bad day. You wanted to give him a kiss hello when you first saw him every morning and kiss goodbye before you left for the night. In a million ways you wanted to be close to him and show him affection, but you couldn’t and it was absolutely killing you.

If you had been able to see him outside of work it would have made the façade you had to uphold at work more bearable, but you couldn’t even do that. With the single coming out in just a few weeks, the full album being released not long after, and a month-long promotional trip to America scheduled to kick off days after the album was released, the guys’ schedule was busier than ever. Every single day, including weekends, was jam-packed with dance practice, vocal coaching, performance rehearsals, interview filming, photoshoots, meetings to finalize album details and the promotional tour, and so much more.

Most nights, Tae wasn’t finishing up work until almost 8:00 or 9:00, but that wasn’t even the worst part. Immediately after filming for the Dynamite music video had wrapped up, the decision had been made that the guys would all be living back in the dorm for the time being. This was done partly to keep everyone focused during the final stretch of the comeback, but mostly to keep everyone on the same schedule and make travel more convenient. Even Namjoon, who was married, and Jin, who was engaged, were staying there most nights of the week. Jimin and Hobi got to leave once a week to stay with their girlfriends, but since Tae obviously couldn’t tell anyone you two were together, he had no legitimate excuse to stay back at his own apartment.

You two texted all the time, and he called or Facetimed you whenever he could without being overheard by one of the guys, but it just wasn’t enough. You found yourself missing him constantly, longing for him in a way you never had before. You missed him even when he was right in front of you at work because, even though he was so close, he still felt so far away. You always missed him most at night, though, a feeling which you knew went both ways.

[Taehyung 2:14 AM] I miss you so much, Jagi.

[Taehyung 2:14 AM] I can’t sleep without you.

[Taehyung 2:15 AM] I just want to hold you again and wake up beside you.

You had woken up to those text messages one morning and immediately felt a literal pain in your chest because you felt the exact same way. Even though he had only stayed with you twice, you found yourself feeling unimaginably lonely each night without his arms around you.

You just wanted to be with him. To spend time with him as a couple, however unofficial that title was. To talk to him without having to filter and censor everything you said. To love hearing him call you Jagi, not worry constantly about that word slipping out of his mouth around someone else. To watch a movie or cook dinner or stay in your pajamas all day together. To laugh and be playful and flirty without someone yelling at you to stop. To cuddle and kiss and be intimate.

The abundance of physical contact you’d gotten during those three days, and subsequent absence of it these last two plus weeks, had left you desperately craving him, absolutely starving for his touch. You had obviously always found Tae insanely attractive, had always desired to be with him, but previously that had only been in a theoretical, abstract sense. Now, though, the concept of being with him was real, never more so than the second day of filming for the Dynamite music video, the last time the two of you had been truly alone together.

The morning had begun innocently; you had woken up first in his warm embrace and then proceeded to pepper his face with tiny kisses until his lips curled up into a shy smile and his eyes opened a few moments later. Shortly after that, you began sharing slow, tender morning kisses, ones that made you completely forget that a world existed outside of the bed you were sharing. However, when you casually mentioned that the lace panties from the day before came with a matching bra he unfortunately didn’t discover, the situation escalated quickly. The kisses became more passionate, his hands began wandering underneath your tank top, and the next thing you knew, you were on top of him, straddling his hips.

From that new position you could easily kiss his deliciously thick neck, something you had literally dreamed of doing for years. You began just below his ear, smiling to yourself when he cursed over how good it felt to be kissed there, and then worked your way down to his broad chest. As you covered his body with kisses, you began rolling your hips, subtly at first, but more purposefully once you saw, heard, and felt just how much he loved it. He brought his hands to your hips to help guide you back and forth over himself, but you were clearly in charge, slowing down and speeding up at will just to relish in how needy he grew beneath you.

It was all fun and games teasing him like that until he suddenly used those big muscles of his to flip your positions, the overt display of dominance being something you found incredibly sexy. Now on top and in control, it took him no time at all to discover how sensitive you were, the small gasp you let out when he applied just a bit of pressure with his hips bringing a smirk to his lips. You knew you were in trouble when he shifted slightly and brought his thigh between your legs. As he began slowly grinding into you, he hungrily swallowed the string of curses and small whimpers that left your lips.

Were it not for your ‘15 minutes until bus departure’ warning alarm going off a minute later, you’ve no doubt he would have soon had you coming undone. So enthralled with the way your body was responding to him, he didn’t even hear the beeping at first. He simply kept going, kept on whispering sweet nothings and praises into your ear as he slowly rocked his hips. You had half a mind to ignore the alarm and your responsibilities entirely and let him continue, that’s how good he was making you feel. However, you used all your willpower to gently push him off of you, telling him if you two didn’t stop now, you were literally never going to be able to leave the bed.

Had you known that the passionate kiss you shared just before he left your room was the last one you were going to get for a while, you would have made it last a little longer, would have savored it just a bit more.

~~~

Today, the seventeenth day since you’d last been with Tae, was significant for two reasons.

First, it was the day of the new album’s concept photoshoot. A shoot like this was always important, but this one was especially so because Tae was serving as the Visual Director. Taking on this role was a huge opportunity for him to showcase his many other artistic skills outside of singing, dancing, and performing. You were so proud of all the hard work he had put into planning everything and knew how nervous he was for the photoshoot to go smoothly. Even if you couldn’t show your support the way you wanted to, you were still determined to be there for him throughout the day, which is partly why you didn’t tell him the other reason why today was significant: that it was the five year anniversary of your mother’s death.

You had been thinking about her a lot lately, mostly wishing you could talk to her about what was happening with Tae. You wanted her advice and guidance, her assurance that you following your heart right now wasn’t the biggest mistake of your life. If anyone could have helped you navigate through the challenges you were facing now, and would surely face in the future, it would have been her.

In previous years, you had taken this day off to be with your dad and your sisters. You would visit her grave together and then relax at home cooking her favorite dinner and watching her favorite movies. But this year, with it falling on the exact same day as a major photoshoot, you just couldn’t swing it. You honestly hadn’t even tried to ask Mrs. Choi about taking the day off; you knew all she would have done was make you feel guilty and question your commitment. Your family had understood, though, and the four of you had made plans to remember her together over the weekend.

When you told Tae the story about your mom, you had mentioned she passed in late summer, but never told him the specific day. Over the last few weeks you had gone back and forth about whether or not to tell him today was that day, but had ultimately decided it would be best not to. You didn’t want him to feel guilty that you had to be working when you would have otherwise been with your family and also didn’t want to stress him more on his big day. More than that, though, you were afraid of how he would act if he knew. You worried that he would be unable to stay on his side of the invisible line you two drew between yourselves at work, that he would be too affectionate and protective and would inadvertently give you two away.

The day had started off OK. The shoot was taking place not far from Big Hit at an indoor studio where the set had been constructed. Being somewhere new was a welcome distraction and it was busy enough throughout the morning that your mind stayed relatively occupied. Tae still realized something was off right away which shouldn’t have been a surprise. He eyed you curiously the whole time you were doing his hair and makeup and asked no less than fifty times some variation of ‘Are you OK?’. You just smiled back at him, though, and assured him you were fine, just a little tired perhaps, which you hoped he believed.

However, as the day went on, it became harder and harder to focus and keep it together. Your mind began drifting elsewhere, to thoughts of your mom both before and after she got sick, to the dark days that followed her passing, to all the questions you wished you could ask her right now. At one point, after you had looked up to find Tae looking at you from across the room, a slightly concerned expression on his face, the thought that she would never get to meet him crossed your mind and you got momentarily choked up; she would have loved him.

Eventually, it all became a bit too overwhelming so you stepped off to the side of the set and pulled out your phone. Hoping to take your mind off things with some mindless social media scrolling, you opened up Instagram, but the first photo you saw stopped your heart. It was you and your sisters and your mom, smiling together at the beach, your dad’s shadow as he held the camera just barely in the frame. Your younger sister had posted it earlier that day along with what you were sure was an incredibly heartfelt message that you absolutely did not have the stomach to read right now.

It was one of your absolute favorite photos, a memory from a truly wonderful day before everything changed, but it was not something you were prepared to see just now. At once, you felt the all too familiar closing of your throat and stinging behind your eyes, telltale signs that you might start sobbing at any moment, but you forced yourself to shove your feelings down. Now was not the time to have a complete and utter breakdown.

Stopping by the lunch table to grab a coffee, the caffeinated beverage ironically always helped you relax, you headed back to the prep room to try and calm down. As you turned into the room, you saw none other than Tae standing at one of the mirrors. He was fiddling with one of his earrings, happily humming one of the songs from the upcoming album, but when his gaze met yours through the reflection his smile immediately faded. In an instant, he was crossing the room to you, worry etched all over his features.

“Jagi,” he whispered as he leaned in close. “Please talk to me.”

Just hearing his voice and having him near was almost enough to break the dam. You wanted nothing more than to be in his embrace right now, to hear all the sweet words of comfort you know he would give to you.

“Please tell me what’s wrong,” he pleaded when you didn't respond.

“I’m fine, Tae,” you said back, your lower lip trembling.

“No you’re not,” he said, sounding so distraught. “Something is wrong. Something has been wrong all day.”

“Did I do something to upset you?” he then questioned fearfully.

You shook your head at him, silently willing him to stop asking questions before you completely lost it.

“Do you not feel well?” he then asked, sounding more worried than ever. “Did someone say or do something to hurt you?”

“Tae, I’m fine,” you replied. You tried to say it calmly, but when your voice broke on the word ‘fine’, Tae’s eyes went wide in alarm.

He instinctively reached out to put his arms around you, but your hands immediately shot up to stop him, the coffee cup flying out of your grasp in the process. It fell directly onto Tae’s white shirt and then crashed to the floor. Looking first to the complete mess on the ground and then to the massive stain on his shirt, your composure finally cracked.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry,” you said as tears welled up in your eyes. “I ruined your shirt and you haven’t finished shooting yet.”

“Jagi, it’s OK. It's just a shirt. Really, it’s not impor-,” Tae started before being cut off by Mrs. Choi’s shrill voice.

“Y/N, what have you done?” she asked venomously, coming from somewhere in the room where you didn’t realize she had been standing.

You looked up at her, saw her angry, disgusted expression, and immediately shrunk into yourself. If it was any other day you could have handled her, could have brushed off her attack, but not today.

“You’ve ruined an outfit that cost thousands of dollars and jeopardized the whole photoshoot,” she then said snidely, answering her own question. “Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

“I’m sorry,” was all you could manage, your voice barely above a whisper.

“You have been distracted and careless all day long,” she continued as she stared daggers into you.

“I’m not even surprised something like this happened, though,” she went on, throwing her hands up in exasperation. “You are always distracted and careless. You never focus or take your work seriously. Honestly, you are a complete disgrace to this-”

“Enough!” Tae suddenly said, cutting her off sharply as he turned to face her.

Mrs. Choi blanched, having never heard Tae use such a tone with her or anyone else for that matter.

“For the last three years you have been dismissive, overly critical, and downright rude to Y/N and I will not tolerate it anymore,” he said heatedly. “You may be the stylist’s manager, but she is my stylist and I will not let you speak to her this way.”

“Your constant beratement is not only unprofessional, but completely unfounded. The quality of her work is excellent; she is talented and hardworking and extremely dedicated to our team,” he continued as he shifted in front of you slightly, shielding you from her.

“Just look at what she did with the Dynamite music video. Everyone was so impressed with her concept idea, and saw how hard she worked, but you never once complimented her or appreciated her efforts. All you did was criticize her and belittle her and make her doubt herself,” he then added angrily.

For a moment it looked like Mrs. Choi was going to say something in reply, but before she could get a word out Tae continued.

“What happened just now was an accident that I clearly caused,” he said, gesturing to the mess on the floor. “If you would have taken two seconds to stop yelling at her and talk to us you would have realized that.”

“But, more importantly, if you had been paying attention at all today to the stylists you’re supposed to be managing you would have realized hours ago that she has been extremely upset about something all day and is genuinely not OK right now,” he finally said, now looking incredibly distressed himself.

You stood there in stunned silence, tears still threatening to fall, as your gaze flickered back and forth between Tae and Mrs. Choi. His chest was heaving from the exertion of his outburst while she was motionless, a look of complete shock on her face. Upon remembering you were still here, though, she turned to you with an unmistakably guilty expression on her face.

“Y/N,” Mrs. Choi began apprehensively. “Is something wrong?”

You hesitated for a moment before answering, unsure how to respond, but eventually decided to just go with the truth.

“Today is the five year anniversary of my mother’s death,” you said quietly, wiping away a few tears from your cheeks with the backs of your hands.

Knowing how devastated he would be to learn this, you purposefully didn’t look at Tae as you spoke, but the audible gasp he let out was more than enough to shatter your heart.

“Normally I take this day off, but I knew how important the photoshoot was so I didn’t want to let everyone down,” you went on. “But, clearly I’ve done that anyway.”

It was quiet for a few moments as your admission washed over them and, surprisingly, it was Mrs. Choi who then broke the silence.

“Y/N, I am very sorry for your loss,” she said with a tenderness you did not know she was capable of possessing, much less directing at you. “I am also sorry that you have been dealing with your grief while working today. I am sure that must have been very difficult.”

“I am sorry too for overeating today,” she then said before adding tentatively, “and for perhaps being a bit too hard on you over the years.”

Completely taken aback by not only her apology, but the genuine sincerity with which she delivered it, you simply stood there and stared at her.

“I think we should talk sometime about the things Taehyung mentioned,” she went on. “But, I don’t believe now is the appropriate time.”

“Taehyung, why don’t you take Y/N out for a short break?” she then suggested. “Take her somewhere private where she can have a minute to collect herself.”

He nodded at her and then silently led you from the room, his hand resting on the top of your back comfortingly. Down the hall you two went until he stopped in front of a door into what appeared to be some sort of guest lounge. He opened it and ushered you inside.

The moment the door closed, he had you in his arms. He sat you two down on the couch and then gently pulled you onto his lap, his arms cradling you in a tight embrace. You buried your face in his neck and sobbed, letting out all the emotion you’d been keeping hidden. He stroked your back soothingly and gently rocked you as he whispered the sweetest words of comfort.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked a little while later once you had calmed down, the hurt in his voice evident.

“I didn’t want you to worry or feel guilty,” you said quietly.

He didn’t respond to that at first, just hugged you to him more tightly.

“Jagi, how am I supposed to take care of you if you don’t tell me things like this?” he then questioned, sounding so devastated.

“I’m sorry,” was all you said in reply.

“It’s OK,” he said back, his voice thick with emotion. “Just, next time please let me be there for you.”

You nodded your head in reply and just burrowed deeper into his chest.

A comfortable silence then fell between the two of you. As you sat there, curled up on his lap like that, absentmindedly playing with the buttons on his robe, it dawned on you that this was the first time you had been legitimately alone with him in weeks. You lifted your head up to look at him and could tell from his expression that he must have just had the same realization. Bringing a hand up to cup your cheek, he brushed away a tear with his thumb and then leaned in to connect your lips for the tenderest of kisses.

“I’ve missed you so much,” he said softly once you parted, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear as he spoke.

“I know I see you every day, but it’s just not the same,” he continued before drawing you in for another kiss, this one just as slow and sweet as the first.

“I've missed you too, Tae,” you said after breaking away again, your voice catching just a bit. “So much that it hurts.”

“I know, Jagi,” he said sadly, leaning his forehead against yours. “I can’t stand being away from you.”

“But, I promise I’ll find a way for us to be together soon,” he then said, dropping his hand from your cheek and wrapping it around your waist to pull you closer to him.

He kissed you again, this time more deeply, and you wound your arms around his neck in response. As you began running your fingers through his hair, his kisses grew more desperate, like he was afraid if he detached his lips from yours for even just one second you would disappear and he would never get to kiss you again. You matched his passion immediately; you wanted nothing more than to drown in his kisses, to drown in him.

The indescribably perfect feeling of his lips on yours had you wondering how you had gone the last seventeen days without it, much less the last three years. Being with him like this just felt so good, so right; there was literally nowhere else in the world you would rather be. You were completely lost in him, and in the moment, so lost that the overwhelming sadness of this day felt a little more bearable, so lost that you forgot about the photoshoot and his ruined shirt and Mrs. Choi, so lost, unfortunately, that you didn’t hear the door open.

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Too Goo To Be True - Ch. 28 | kth(m)

Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.

pairing: Taehyung x reader

genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: 18+

word count: 3.3k

warnings: cursing

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Chapter 28: Dinner Before Dessert - Part 1

“Taehyung! Are you in- OH SHIT,” said the unmistakable voice of Park Jimin.

You and Tae immediately broke apart, and your next instinct was to scramble off of his lap, but he surprisingly didn’t move to get you off of him. He just kept holding you, his arms actually tightening around you protectively.

“Fuck. Thank god it’s just you, Jimin,” Tae said in relief as he turned towards the older man. “Come in and close the door.”

Jimin did just that, immediately locking it once he was inside, something you and Tae clearly should have done before you decided to start making out. Nervously, you followed Tae’s gaze to where Jimin was standing. At first, his angelic features were sculpted into a look of complete shock, but as his eyes traveled back and forth over you two, clearly noting the way Tae tenderly held you in his arms, a small grin spread across his face.

“This...this explains a lot,” he said slowly before letting out a little laugh.

Immediately, you relaxed, letting out the breath you didn’t even realize you had been holding. Jimin wasn’t mad and didn’t look like he was about to go telling everyone. Honestly, he didn’t even seem that surprised anymore by what he was seeing which made a lot of sense once you thought about it more. He was Tae’s soulmate, after all. Turning back to Tae, you found him already looking at you, a shy smile on his face.

“I hadn’t told him yet about this,” he said, gesturing between the two of you. “But, I have told him some other stuff before.”

It was adorable how bashfully he had said that, how much he was blushing right now. Knowing that he had talked to Jimin about his feelings for you made you giddy. It’s not that you hadn’t believed everything Tae had told you, how long he wanted to be with you and how much he cared about you, because you absolutely did, but him telling Jimin did make everything feel that much more real.

“You didn’t tell me, but I knew something was up,” Jimin chimed in with a smirk. “You’ve been all happy and smiley for weeks now.”

“You’ve also been attached to your phone, though, texting constantly and sneaking off for private conversations,” he continued, now sounding much more serious. “And, I’m not the only one who has noticed.”

When he said that, Tae immediately tensed up and finally did gently lift you off of his lap.

“Namjoon-hyung asked me point blank if you were seeing someone,” Jimin then said with a grimace.

“You told him I’m not, right?” Tae immediately asked, getting to his feet.

“Of course,” Jimin replied. “I mean, I had some suspicions, but I wasn’t going to tell him that.”

“Good,” Tae said, sounding so relieved. “He and the rest of the guys can't know.”

"No one can know, Jimin,” he then added solemnly.

You couldn’t deny that it stung just a bit to hear him say those words, how easily that ‘I’m not’ rolled off his tongue, how adamant he was that no one knew. The obvious reason why he didn’t want anyone to know was because of your contract and the fact that you would be immediately fired if the wrong person ever found out you were romantically involved with him. Reminding yourself that he was only trying to protect you and your relationship, you actively worked to keep out the little doubts and worries trying to crawl into your mind, the ones that said Tae was ashamed to be with you and that your relationship actually wasn’t that serious to him.

“I understand,” Jimin replied earnestly, nodding as he spoke. “I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

“We can talk more later about everything,” he added. “Shooting starts again in 15 minutes, though. That’s why I came to find you in the first place.”

“Wow, I didn’t realize we’ve been gone that long,” Tae said sheepishly, his face flushing.

You felt your own cheeks heat up as you realized the two of you had been in here making out much longer than you realized.

“Time flies when you’re having fun,” Jimin replied, giving the two of you a wolfish grin before slipping back out into the hallway, leaving the two of you smiling and giggling like lovestruck teenagers.

~~~

Jimin walking in on you two ending up being a blessing in disguise. That Saturday, at the guys’ next group meeting, he secretly advocated on behalf of Tae for letting people stay back at their own apartments more often, claiming everyone needed a break from each other and that his girlfriend’s needs were not being met. The guys laughed at his cheekiness, but agreed that it might be best to have some time apart. It was decided that, after the single was released the following Friday, everyone could stay back at their own apartments before they left for America two weeks later.

Tae had texted you this news immediately after the meeting. You could tell he was excited, but also that he was trying to contain that excitement out of respect for that fact that you were with your family to remember your mom. He had been incredibly supportive while you were away, sending you sweet, comforting messages every now and then, but still giving you space. He was being so wonderful that you had almost told your sisters about your relationship, but at the last second decided not to. Given the nature of the trip, and the somber mood everyone was in, it just didn’t feel like the appropriate time to share such happy news.

After getting home late Sunday evening, you texted Tae to let him know you made it back safely and he called you less than a minute later. You picked up, but before you could even say hello he started talking.

“Do you have plans for next Saturday night?” he asked excitedly.

“That depends,” you replied. “Does binge watching Netflix alone in my apartment count as plans?”

“No. No it does not,” he said back with a snicker.

“Then no, I do not have plans,” you said dryly.

There was a brief pause on the other end of the line.

“Would you like to go on a date with me?” he then asked, sounding adorably nervous.

“I would love to,” you answered as a big, silly grin spread across your face. “What did you have in mind?”

“I’m going to make you dinner,” he announced proudly.

“Tae, you don’t know how to cook,” you said with a laugh.

“I know,” he said. “But for you I will learn.”

“I want this to be a real date,” he went on. “On our first one you didn’t realize it was a date until after it was over and on our second one you were...slightly inebriated.”

“I was totally wasted,” you deadpanned.

“OK. I was trying to say it nicely, but yes, you were totally wasted,” he said with a laugh.

“I want this date to be special,” he then said, sounding so sincere it made your heart flutter.

“How should I dress for this special date?” you then asked, your smile growing impossibly wide.

“You will look beautiful in anything, but pretend as if you’re going to a fancy restaurant,” he replied smoothly.

“Hmm Ok,” you said coyly. “I think I know just what to wear.”

~~

It was 5:00 PM the following Saturday and you were walking down the hall of Tae’s apartment building towards his door, your phone in one hand and an overnight bag in the other. When he invited you over for your date he hadn’t specifically asked you to stay the night so you spent all week wondering if he wanted you to and worrying that maybe he didn’t. However, earlier in the day he had texted you asking what you wanted for breakfast tomorrow which made you realize that he hadn’t even thought twice about you staying over, it was just a given to him.

Getting into the apartment complex and then into the building itself had been rather stressful. You had to be buzzed in at the gate and then had to check in at the front desk by showing the security guard your ID so he could match your name to the one Tae provided. It made you incredibly nervous to know there would be legitimate evidence that you’d visited him, but he promised you the visitor’s logs were confidential. He did ask that you cover your face with a mask and wear a hat, though, which also made you anxious.

Coming to see him honestly felt like a scandal waiting to happen, there were so many things that could go wrong and you both had so much to lose, but the idea of not coming when you finally had the opportunity to spend time together was just crazy. Aside from your brief rendezvous at the photoshoot, you had been a part almost a month and that was simply too long. You missed him terribly, longed for him constantly, and would have gone to the moon and back if it meant you got to be with him.

Just as you reached his door you raised your hand to knock, but before you even made contact it swung open. There stood Tae, looking handsome as ever in dark slacks and a light blue button-up, an impossibly large grin on his face. In an instant he had pulled you into his apartment, closed the door, and wrapped you in a hug. You immediately melted into him, having forgotten just how good it felt to have his arms around you, how safe you felt when he held you tightly to his chest. The best way to describe it was that it felt like home. Tae felt like home.

After standing there like that for a minute or so, you finally let go of each other and you removed your mask and hat. He then leaned in to give you a kiss, but instead of kissing you on the lips, he only kissed you on the cheek. Confused, and quite disappointed not to have his plush lips on yours, you gave him a questioning look.

“I told you this was going to be a real date,” he said as he took a couple steps backwards.

“And on a real date you have dinner before you have dessert,” he then added with a smirk.

You stared at him, simultaneously loving and hating him: loving him because it was so sweet that he wanted to make tonight special and not just about being physical, but hating him because he looked like a hot, powerful CEO right now and you wanted nothing more than to devour him, especially after that last comment. He was teasing you, dressing like that and then making you wait to kiss him, but you had come prepared for him and his tricks.

“Are you sure you don’t want to have dessert before dinner,” you asked seductively as you slipped off your jacket to reveal the green lace dress.

The way his eyes first grew wide and then darkened as he looked you up and down had you flushing all over. After spending a few moments staring at you, clearly wrestling with himself on what to do, he came back over and placed his hands on your hips. As his fingers brushed back and forth across the lacy fabric, his gaze again wandered over you before he looked up into your eyes.

“Maybe just one bite,” he finally said as his tongue darted out to wet his lips.

He leaned in to kiss you, but at the last second you pulled back.

“On second thought, I think it’s best if we don’t spoil our appetites,” you said, giving him a wicked grin.

Obviously displeased to have been given a taste of his own medicine, he pouted at you like a child that had just been told to eat their vegetables. It was adorable and hysterical, but before you could comment on it the sound of excited barking suddenly filled the room. From out of nowhere, Tannie came bounding down the hall, stopped right at your feet, and then looked up at you with his adorably angry little eyes.

“Tannie!” you exclaimed as you kneeled to pet him. He was jumping up and down so excitedly that you gathered him up in your arms and started cuddling him.

“You're such a good boy. Yes you are,” you cooed as he began smothering your face with tiny licks. “I’ve missed you, Tannie. Yes I did.”

“Alright, that’s enough, Tannie,” Tae eventually said with another pout as he extracted the dog from your arms and set him down. “She came here for me, you know.”

“I did?” you questioned playfully, giving him a sly sideways glance.

“You did,” he confirmed smoothly. “You came here for my cooking and my cuddles and my kisses.”

You bit your lip shyly, no doubt blushing wildly. He was right, absolutely right.

“Come on, Jagi,” he said with a smile as he took your hand. “Let me give you the tour and then we’ll eat.”

His apartment was, unsurprisingly, both large and luxurious. The décor was so Tae: artsy, minimalist, each room covered in mostly neutral tones but containing some sort of vibrant, eye-catching statement piece. Everything looked so elegant and tasteful, but also so unmistakably expensive. You didn’t often think about the massive difference in wealth between you two since he was not one to flaunt how well-off he was, but it was hard not to think about it now.

He was literally a millionaire and acknowledging that fact suddenly had you feeling a bit anxious. If and when your relationship ever did get out, you knew with absolute certainty that you, a lowly stylist still paying off college loans, would be accused of being with him for his money as well as his fame. The thought made your stomach churn, but you pushed it from your mind and focused back on Tae and the special evening he’d planned for you.

Eventually, he took you to the dining room where you saw he had put together an incredibly romantic dinner. The table arrangement honestly looked like something you would see at a five star restaurant. It was truly exquisite, but the best part wasn’t the flowers or the candles or the fancy bottle of red wine, it was the fact that he had done it all himself and done it for you. Standing there in the doorway, you were momentarily speechless and honestly a tiny bit choked up knowing just how much effort he had put into everything. You leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek as a thank you and absolutely melted at the shy smile he gave you in return.

He held your hand all throughout dinner, having made sure that he sat on your left since you were right handed and he was ambidextrous. Although it was ever so slightly difficult to eat with one hand, you happily endured the hassle: you absolutely loved the feeling of his hand in yours. Conversation flowed easily between you two, as did laughter. With no one else around to watch or judge or tell you to settle down, the two of you unleashed your full rowdiness. Everything was funny, even the things that weren’t funny, and you had to stop every few minutes to catch your breath and regain your composure. You were so grateful that this aspect of your relationship hadn’t changed since you’d started ‘dating’. After all, you had been howling with laughter when you first realized you were in love with him three years ago.

When you finished your meal he got up, went to the kitchen, and returned a minute later with a tray full of dark chocolate covered strawberries. Your heart swelled knowing he had specifically gotten your favorite dessert, but almost burst out of your chest when you realized he hadn’t bought them, he had made them. As you sat there, peeling the chocolate off of one like you always did, swooning at the way he was eating with his lips adorably pouted, you felt more certain than ever before that what you two were doing right now was worth the risk, that he was worth the risk.

A little while later you two were in his kitchen, having just finished cleaning up from dinner. You had tried to help put things away, but he immediately scolded you, saying your only job tonight was to relax and enjoy yourself. You were sitting on the counter watching him put the leftover dark chocolate covered strawberries into a Tupperware when it suddenly occurred to you that dinner was over and it was time for the real dessert of the evening.

“You know,” you began in a sultry voice. “I had a dream once that you were a strawberry farmer. A sexy strawberry farmer, to be exact.”

“Is that so?” he asked with a grin, turning to face you.

“It is,” you said coyly.

“It was right after the Map Of The Soul ON:E concert,” you then went on. “When you wore those overalls for your ‘Inner Child’ performance.”

“Ahh, yes,” he said, recalling the memory fondly. “I suppose I could have been mistaken for a farmer while wearing those.”

“If you remember, you were wearing them without the blazer while I did your hair and makeup,” you reminded him, leaning back on your hands and noting the way his eyes followed the skirt of your dress as it slid up your thighs.

“You were very fidgety that day,” you continued. “You kept stretching your arms and leaning back with them behind your head and running your hands through your hair.”

“I couldn’t help but wonder if you knew that doing all those things while wearing those overalls would show off those big muscles of yours,” you then added, eyeing him curiously as you spoke.

The mischievous smirk he now wore told you your suspicions were absolutely correct: he had been purposefully flexing for you that day.

“Kim Taehyung,” you scolded teasingly. “It’s not very gentlemanly to try to seduce a lady at her place of work.”

“What if the lady wanted to be seduced?” he asked provocatively as he came to stand in front of you, leaning against the counter and caging you with his arms. “What if I could just tell that she liked what she was seeing?”

You did like what you saw that day. Loved it, actually. It wasn’t often that he wore sleeveless tops that showed his biceps and shoulders, let alone ones that also left his sturdy chest and broad back on full display. You had tried so hard not to stare, but apparently you hadn’t tried hard enough.

“You could just tell?” you asked, well aware that you were definitely blushing right now.

“I could,” he said smugly as he gently spread your legs apart with his hands and stepped between them. “Just from the way she was looking at me.”

“And what way was that?” you questioned slowly, your heart rate rising with him so close and his hands on your bare legs.

He paused for a moment before answering, his eyes fixed on you in smoldering stare.

“Hungrily, lustfully, like she might be having some very unprofessional thoughts,” he then said smoothly before adding in a low voice. “The way I’m looking at you right now.”

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To Good To Be True - Ch. 29 | kth(m)

Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.

pairing: Taehyung x reader

genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: 18+

word count: 2.9k

warnings: cursing, fingering, handjob

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Chapter 29: Dinner Before Dessert - Part 2

Before you even knew what was happening, he was capturing your lips in a ravenous kiss. You wrapped your arms around his neck and he slid his around your waist, the two of you molding into one another seamlessly. For the next few minutes, not a single word was spoken as you simply devoured each other, your hunger insatiable after holding back all evening. It was desperate and messy, all tongue and teeth, but you simply could not get enough.

“I have unprofessional thoughts every time I see you in this dress,” he said breathlessly after finally releasing your lips. “Every time I think about you in this dress.”

“You think about me in this dress?” you asked flirtatiously.

“I do,” he replied at once. “And about you in my hoodie and those lace panties.”

“I always think about you, Jagi,” he then added almost guiltily as he leaned his forehead against yours. “I-I just can’t help myself.”

You knew at once what he was admitting to and found it to be possibly the most arousing thing you’d ever heard in your life. The idea that Kim Taehyung, literally the sexiest man on the planet, fantasized about you was such a deliciously scandalous thought.

“I think about you too, Tae,” you said as you cupped his cheeks and kissed him deeply.

“You do?” he asked in amazement.

“Mmhmm,” you hummed in response as you then began trailing kisses down his neck.

“Fuck, that’s so hot” he murmured as he pulled you forward on the counter and pressed his hips into you. “Tell me what you think about.”

You’d had so many fantasies of him over the years it was hard to know where to start. One thing you did know, though, was that nothing you’d ever imagined held a candle to what you were experiencing with him right now. His every touch sent a jolt of electricity through you, every word spoken in his deep, husky voice had your mind hazy with desire.

“I think about you flexing these muscles for me,” you began as you trailed your fingers up his arms and then down his chest. “And about how strong you are and how easily you can pick me up and take me wherever you want.”

“I think about how sexy you look when you’re performing on stage,” you went on. “Especially during those body rolls at the end of Mic Drop or that hip thrust during Dimple.”

“But, mostly I think about your big hands and your long fingers and all the things you could do with them,” you whispered in his ear.

You wrapped your legs around his back as you spoke, pulling him deeper into you, and could instantly tell how affected he was by the risqué things you’d just said. The feel of him between your legs, nothing but a few pieces of fabric separating you, had your entire body buzzing; you had never been more turned on in your entire life. You crashed your mouth back onto his and poured all of your desire into the sensual kiss you shared. He began running his hands up your thighs, pushing the skirt of your dress upwards as he went, but he stopped partway up and leaned his forehead against yours again.

“Can I touch you, Jagi?” he asked hesitantly as his thumbs rubbed little circles on your inner thighs, all hints of teasing and suggestiveness suddenly gone from his voice. “The way you just talked about?”

You were taken aback by his sudden change in demeanor, but your answer came without hesitation.

“Yes,” you replied quietly before giving him a kiss on the cheek.

You were so appreciative of him asking for permission before things went any further. You had clearly alluded to your desire to be intimate with him like that, but you hadn’t explicitly told him you were ready for it now. It meant so much to you that, even though you had teased each other and fooled around a bit before, he hadn’t made an assumption about what you might be comfortable with now, that this kind of intimacy was something he took seriously and wanted to talk about first.

“Can I touch you?” you then asked back as you gently ran your fingers through his hair.

“Yes, Jagi,” he replied before mimicking you and kissing your cheek.

“I still want to go slow, though,” he then said, bringing his head up to look at you, a tender expression on his face. “I don’t want to rush everything tonight.”

“But, I want to be with you,” he added softly. “I want to be close to you and make you feel good and take care of you.”

You didn’t think it was possible to love him anymore than you already did, but knowing that this was how he felt about intimacy, how meaningful it was to him, a whole new kind of love for him bloomed uncontrollably in your chest.

“I want to be with you too,” you said with a shy smile before leaning in to give him a slow, sweet kiss.

Without another word, he lifted you up off the counter and carried you to his bedroom where he then gently laid you down on his bed. Laying down beside you, he took your hand in his and asked if you were sure, saying with absolute sincerity that you didn’t have to do anything if you weren’t ready. You gave him a kiss, with it trying to convey all your appreciation for his thoughtfulness, told him you had never been more sure of anything, and then slowly slipped off your dress to reveal the black lace bra and panties.

The expression on his face as he took in the sight of your near-naked body had you blushing. He looked to be in complete awe of you, his eyes wide and mouth slightly agape, as his gaze lingered on the lace and what it barely covered. Still ever so slightly shy, and wanting to maintain just a bit of mystery, you decided to keep the lacy garments on. A minute or so later, after he finally seemed to remember how to speak, he said you were beautiful and perfect, the most stunning woman he’s ever seen in his entire life.

When he eventually moved to put his hands on your body, you scolded him and said he was still wearing entirely too many clothes to allow such behavior. The speed with which he got up and started undressing had you giggling, but you stopped immediately once his shirt and pants were off. You’d seen him in his boxers before, but never like this, never with him straining inside of them with unadulterated desire for you. The sight left you speechless and aching. You gave him the come hither sign and he obliged at once, climbing back onto the bed and settling down directly beside you, his body pressed against yours.

He proceeded to not simply touch your body, but to explore it, savoring every last inch of you. You shuddered as his fingertips brushed over the swell of your breasts and let out a small gasp when he dipped his fingers under the lace to caress them. As his hand then trailed lower, down past your navel, his eyes were locked on yours, watching for any signs of hesitation or discomfort. When he found none, and instead saw only desire, he leaned in to give you a deep kiss and then slowly slipped his hand beneath the lacy fabric.

He was gentle and teasing at first, but grew bolder with every soft moan that left your lips. Attuned to your body’s every response, he quickly learned what you liked most, what subtle changes had your breath hitching and your back arching off the bed. All at once, you realized that you hadn't even come close to imagining the amount of pleasure his long, dexterous fingers could give you; the things he was doing with them had you in pure ecstasy.

At first you were embarrassed at how loud you were being and tried to hold back, but after he said he loved hearing you make such pretty sounds you stopped trying to be quiet. If he wanted to hear how good he made you feel, you would let him hear. In the heat of the moment you also called him ‘baby’, the first time you’d ever referred to him by a pet name, and he told you at once how much he loved hearing that too.

When he wasn’t kissing you or softly sucking and biting at the sensitive skin of your neck, he was whispering into your ear, most of his words being surprisingly, but delightfully filthy: praise over just how much of a good girl you were being for him, an admission of how many times he’d imagined doing this to you, vivid descriptions of all the other things he wanted to do to make you feel good. Given his sweet, innocent nature, you hadn’t ever imagined him talking to you this way, but now that he was, you never wanted him to stop.

Being with him like this was overwhelming, but in the best sense of the word. He was such a generous and attentive partner, using every part himself to make you feel good, from the soft touch of his fingers to the sultry sound of his voice. Before long, he had you falling over the edge, a cry of his name leaving your lips as your body trembled and the pleasure washed over you. Afterwards, as you laid there panting, still slowly coming down from your high, he told you that you’d never looked more beautiful. All you could manage in response was to gaze at him in wonder and adoration, a bashful smile and light blush on your face.

After how good he’d just made you feel, you were determined to give him the same amount of pleasure. It had been a long time since you’d been with someone, the last time being with your boyfriend in college, so you were a bit nervous, but with Tae you felt comfortable and safe and knew it would be OK. Slowly, you ran your fingers down his chest and along the waistband of his boxers. You teased him like that for a few moments before finally nudging the fabric down, your entire body instantly flushing at the sight before you.

The low groan that escaped his lips when you first took him in your hand was by far the most erotic sound that had ever reached your ears. You were certain it would find its way into every single one of your fantasies from that point forward. The feel of him also shot a whole new wave of arousal through you as you thought back to some of the things he’d whispered in your ear and how much more enticing they now seemed.

You began slowly, teasingly, just like he had, but soon found yourself unable to hold back. He had just given you so much, literally worshiped your body; you wanted to give him everything in return, didn’t want to deny him a moment longer. As you continued, mutters of expletives, praise, and your name began falling from his lips, always in the same deep, breathless voice. Every word out of his mouth only made you all the more desperate to satisfy him, to make him feel as good as he made you feel.

Given how vocal he had been while he was in charge, you thought he might like it if you talked to him like that too. The way he bucked his hips as you told him the naughtier parts of your sexy strawberry farmer dream let you know he didn’t like it, he loved it. Mesmerized by the effect your words had on him, you began unraveling three years worth of unprofessional thoughts between hot, open-mouth kisses to his chest.

The sight of him laying there, head thrown back, eyes closed, lower lip bitten, that beautiful purple diamond glistening against his bare chest, was downright sinful; he truly looked like a piece of erotic art. When he came a short while later, and you felt him shaking with pleasure beneath you, heard him moaning your name, you were overcome with a rush of several emotions: desire, pride, but, most of all, bliss. Being with him like this was better than anything you’d ever imagined. You’d never felt closer to him, never loved him more.

~~~

Later on, after cleaning up, watching a movie, and polishing off the rest of the dark chocolate covered strawberries, you were on his bed cuddling, trying hard not to fall asleep and let the night end. You were in his arms laying with your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat, while he gently ran his fingers through your hair. He had been softly singing to you for a while now, having serenaded you with ‘Scenery’, ‘Winter Bear’, and, of course, ‘Sweet Night’, when he suddenly stopped singing and grew quiet for a few moments.

“Jagi, can I tell you something?” he asked hesitantly.

“You can tell me anything, Tae,” you assured him as you lifted your head up to look at him.

He didn’t respond right away. He just sat there looking at you, his eyes searching yours as he seemed to be gathering the courage to say his next words.

“You are the first person I have ever been intimate with,” he then said quietly, almost ashamedly.

His admission was honestly not at all surprising. Tae had never been in a serious relationship before and was not someone you ever thought would have casual partners. He was rather traditional when it came to his values, family being of the utmost importance to him, and was, as he had once told you, a hopeless romantic. Knowing what intimacy meant to him, it made complete sense that he hadn’t been with anyone before. It broke your heart, though, that he seemed to think there was something wrong with that fact.

“That’s perfectly OK, Tae,” you told him gently.

“I’m really glad you chose me to share your first experience with,” you then said before giving him a kiss.

“I-I’ve always wanted it to be you,” he said shyly.

The weight of that statement enveloped you like a warm hug; he waited for you. He cared about you that much, thought you were that special, that he wanted his first time to be with you.

“Tae, that means more to me than I will ever be able to put into words,” you said sincerely before leaning in to capture his lips again, trying to express with the kiss what you couldn’t with words.

However, the warmth you felt a second ago immediately disappeared when you realized the next logical step in this conversation would be for you to share your past experiences.

“I’ve been intimate with one other person,” you said tentatively.

“And I’m not a virgin,” you then added quietly.

It’s not that you regretted having sex with your college boyfriend. You were with him for three years, and truly did love him at the time, but you now wished more than anything that you had waited. The love you felt for Tae was so much deeper and you couldn’t help but think that it would have been even more meaningful to share all your first experiences along with him. Upon realizing this, you found yourself getting ever so slightly choked up.

“Y/N, that’s perfectly OK, too,” he said tenderly, sensing you were a little upset.

“It will still be special when we do things for the first time together,” he then said as he leaned in and gave you the sweetest kiss.

If you were choked up before, you were on the verge of full on sobbing now, but for the best of reasons. He was just so wonderful, so kind and sweet and caring. You honestly couldn’t believe how lucky you were to be with him.

Once again, you found yourself on the verge of saying those three words, but before you could utter them, Tannie burst into the room, jumped onto the bed, and plopped down on Tae’s chest exactly where your head had just been.

“Ok he’s definitely jealous that I’m cuddling with you right now,” you said with a laugh.

“Tannie, you’re going to have to learn how to share,” Tae said scoldingly as he gave the pup a scratch behind the ears. “Y/N is going to be staying here with us from now on.”

With the amount of butterflies that started fluttering in your stomach, you were shocked that your body didn’t float up off of the bed.

“I am?” you asked shyly, unable to contain a giant grin from spreading across your face.

“Oh. Shit, I-I didn’t mean to assume. You obviously don’t have to if you don’t want to. I just...I’d really like you to. We could spend so much more time together if you’re staying here. I understand if you’re not ready for that, though. I’m so sorry for just saying that without talking to you first,” he rushed out, growing more and more adorably flustered by the second.

He was just about to start more of his precious ramblings when you brought your finger to his lips to shush him.

“I would love to stay here with you,” you said softly, watching in delight as his lips turned up into a smile beneath your fingertip as you spoke.

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Too Good To Be True - Ch. 30 | kth(m)

Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.

pairing: Taehyung x reader

genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: 18+

word count: 2.6k

warnings: implied smut, a lethal amount of fluff

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Chapter 30: Domestic Bliss

After snuggling in bed all morning the night after your dinner date, you finally convinced Tae that, if he actually wanted you to stay with him, he had to first physically let go of you so you could return to your apartment and get your stuff. Begrudgingly he obliged, saying with an adorable pout that he would miss you the whole time you were gone. Several kisses and ‘wait, five more minutes’ later, you extracted yourself from his embrace, got dressed, and headed out to go back to your apartment.

Once you got there, and began packing things into a suitcase, you started trying to wrap your head around everything that had happened in the last 24 hours. All of the developments were profoundly positive, but it had still been a whirlwind to say the least. In some ways, it seemed like things were happening so fast, maybe even a bit too fast. You wondered what your sisters were going to say when you told them you weren’t just dating Tae, but staying with him in his apartment now too. They would probably freak out which you supposed would be a normal reaction given that you and him had only been together for a little over a month.

Still, you kept reminding yourself that, even though you two had only recently shared your feelings with each other, those feelings hadn’t just materialized overnight. They had been slowly growing over the course of several years, as had your relationship. Physical intimacy was obviously a new aspect of that relationship, but emotional intimacy wasn’t. The truth was you and Tae had been closer than mere friends for years, showing your affection for one another in a million little ways, the sum of which had, until recently, gone largely unnoticed. It was almost comical how obvious everything now seemed, but the two of you could laugh about it together knowing it had all worked out in the end.

When you returned to his apartment with your suitcase later that night, you discovered he had already made space for you in his massive closet, emptied a drawer in the en-suite master bathroom, and cleared off the bedside table on the side of the bed he knew you liked. He had also ordered groceries and specifically bought coffee grinds for the coffee maker he had clearly unearthed from somewhere in storage and set on the kitchen counter. As he made dinner for you for the second night in a row, you unpacked your belongings, officially establishing your new semi-permanent residency.

In addition to your clothes, you had also brought with you the ‘I’m Sorry’ Tata Tae had given you as part of your surprise birthday present, stating that he had separation anxiety and wouldn’t want to be left alone in your apartment. Tae’s smile when you pulled him out of your bag was absolutely adorable, all big and boxy, his eyes turning into crescent moons. You put the Tata on the couch in the living room, however, the next morning when you woke up you found him in Tannie’s bed. You chose to take that as a peace offering from the little rascal, a sign that he had finally accepted you into his pack. That morning over breakfast, you and Tae decided that the Tata’s official name would be Tannie Jr., Tanju for short.

It took surprisingly little time for you to feel comfortable with your new living situation, one of the biggest developments being that you no longer felt nervous and anxious every time you came and went from the apartment. After a day or so of walking on eggshells anytime you were in the parking garage or the lobby or the elevator, you realized that no one you encountered really paid you any mind. Tae’s building contained less than 20 units total and all of them were occupied by other rich and famous people. Knowing the true value of privacy, they did not seem to concern themselves with the comings and goings of others. People were certainly friendly, giving a smile or saying ‘good morning’ or engaging in light chit chat about the weather, but you never got the sense they were trying to figure out who you were or why you were there which you greatly appreciated.

Inside the apartment you two fell into a routine almost instantly. Every day when you came back from work it was like a switch had been flipped and, as soon as the door was closed and the outside world was shut out, you went into full couple-mode. You cooked dinner together which always seemed to involve making a mess and howling with laughter. Afterwards, you would snuggle together on the couch watching TV or just cuddle in bed talking about anything and everything for hours at a time.

You always went to bed at the same time, the feeling of Tae wrapping his arms around you never ceasing to bring about the tiniest flutter in your chest. A morning person through and through, you always woke up before him, but you didn’t mind that one bit. Waking up to his adorable, sleepy face, his mouth usually hanging slightly open in the cutest of ways, was by far the best part of your day.  

Physically speaking, things were great, fantastic even. Part of you had wondered if the spark you felt with him the night of your dinner date was only there because it was your first time together. However, you quickly realized that was not at all the case. The chemistry between the two of you was undeniable; you simply could not keep your hands off of one another.

Tae was usually the one to initiate things, casually escalating your innocent kissing to heated makeout sessions which eventually featured his wandering hands, but he always asked if you were OK with things. He also always made it clear he didn’t expect anything in return, stating with utter sincerity that he just liked making you feel good. Your desire for him was as insatiable as his was for you, though, and regardless of who started things, you both always finished them. The two of you fooled around literally every night and oftentimes in the morning too which felt ever so slightly more scandalous knowing you were about to head into work.

You hadn’t gone much further than you did that first night, though, that next day you had nixed the bra, the only downside being that Tae was far less vocal with his mouth now otherwise occupied. The desire to do more was absolutely there, and was definitely mutual, but you agreed to wait and continue to savor the current moment. You were both more than satisfied with the way things were and felt no need to rush; you had all the time in the world to enjoy each other. Besides, the anticipation of taking that next step was pleasurable in and of itself; Tae not-so-subtly teasing you with slightly obscene tongue gestures got you going like nothing else.

You hesitated to say you had officially moved in, you obviously still had your apartment, the lease for which wouldn’t be up for almost another year, but you were clearly living there. Given that the two of you would be leaving soon for a month-long trip to America, these first couple weeks with him felt a bit like a trial run. So far everything had been perfect. You had truly never been happier in your entire life. You hoped more than anything that he felt the same and that, when you got back from your trip, he would ask you to stay for good.

~~~

That Friday you were in the studio packing up your bag and about to head out for the day when you got a text message which had you smiling down at your phone like an idiot.

[Taehyung 4:55 PM] Hey rehearsal is taking forever so I won’t be leaving here for a while. I’ll see you at home later, OK? Text me if you have any trouble getting in. The key I gave you sometimes gets stuck, but just wiggle it around a bit and it will work.

Home

He called it home, not his apartment, but home, the implication being that it was as much your home as it was his. As you reread his text over and over and over again, you thought for sure you would die of happiness right then and there.

The truth was his apartment did feel like home. You had been staying there for less than a week, but it already felt more like home than your own apartment had ever felt at any point during the last three years. This was partly because Tae himself felt like home to you, but also because had gone out of his way to make sure you felt welcomed and comfortable there which you appreciated so much.

After rereading his text message for the hundredth time as you climbed into your car, you decided you wanted to do something special for him as a thank you for all that he had done for you recently. When your stomach started to grumble on the drive home, you knew instantly what you wanted to do. Stopping at the nearest grocery store, you quickly googled an online recipe for a certain special meal, bought the ingredients, and then headed back home.

Not knowing when exactly Tae would be home, you wanted to get started on dinner as soon as possible. Before you did anything, though, you absolutely needed to get out of the dark wash, skin-tight jeans you may or may not have purposefully worn today just to tease him. Walking into the bedroom, you suddenly remembered that most of your clothes were currently in the laundry, but a brilliant idea then popped into your head. After rummaging through Tae’s drawer for a minute, you finally found what you were looking for: his plaid Burberry pajamas. You slipped them on, noting that they were just as ridiculously soft now as they were the first time you wore them, and then headed into the kitchen to get cooking.  

It took you a little while to find all the pots and pans and things you needed, but before long you were humming along. You got the veggies sliced and started cooking and began boiling the water for the glass noodles. While you were cutting up the beef into thin strips, Tannie came bounding over from his bed where he had been lazily lounging since you walked in. He was jumping up and down at your feet, his little paws gently scratching at you through the fabric of the pajama pants. Once you finished the cutting, and placed the meat in the skillet, you finally gave him the attention he was clearly craving.

“Tannie, are you going to be my sous chef?” you cooed, bending down to pet him.

He yipped at you in response which you took as a resounding ‘Yes’.

A half hour later everything was simmering together in the giant wok you found in the kitchen closet. You had just added in the marinade and were pleasantly surprised to find that the concoction in front of you was beginning to look and smell like it was supposed to. Scooping a bit into a bowl and tentatively taking a tiny bite, you squealed with delight when you discovered it tasted exactly like it had the last time you’d ordered it at a restaurant.

“We did good,” you said to Tannie, the pup having begun to run circles at your feet when you got excited.

“We made Daddy a tasty dinner because we love him, don’t we?” you then asked, reaching down to scratch him behind the ears.

Not two seconds later you heard the door to the apartment opening and you immediately scolded yourself for speaking your previous words out loud. You wanted Tae to know you loved him, but you certainly didn’t want him to find out by overhearing you talking to Tannie like a weirdo. Over the last couple days you had actually come up with a plan to tell him in a romantic way while you were in LA as part of your trip to America. You were still a little nervous to say it out loud, but mostly you were excited, so much so that you were finding it harder and harder to not simply blurt it out every time he did or said something sweet.

“Jagi!” Tae called from the entryway. “I’m home!”

Hearing him say those words all excitedly like that had your heart fluttering with domestic bliss.

He burst into the kitchen a moment later, but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw you standing at the stove. Walking over to you, he looked down at the wok and then back up at you, the most adorable look on his face.

“Jagi, you made japchae?” he asked in astonishment.

You nodded your head in reply.

“For me?” he then added, pointing to himself as he spoke.

“Of course I made it for you,” you said with a shy smile.

“I hope it tastes OK,” you went on. “I’m not the best cook, but the recipe seemed easy enou-”

He cut you off with a kiss so forceful it almost knocked you off your feet, but he had thankfully also snuck his arms around your waist which kept you from toppling over.

“I must be dreaming,” he said after he broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against yours.

“I come home after a long day at work and you’re here making my favorite dinner while looking all cozy and cute in my pajamas,” he went on softly.

“No, no, no. I’m not cute,” you said bashfully. “I’m a mess right now.”

“I think I have soy sauce in my hair,” you added with a laugh.

“You look amazing, Jagi,” he said sincerely as he leaned in to give you another kiss.

“So does this,” he then continued, nodding his head towards the stove, a massive grin on his face. “I can’t wait to eat it.”

“But, I hope you know you don’t have to cook for me,” he went on, now sounding a bit more serious. “If anything, I should be the one cooking for you.”

You pulled your head back and furrowed your brow at him.

“I know I don’t have to,” you said earnestly. “I just want to.”

“You always take such good care of me, Tae,” you continued. “I want to take care of you too.”

The expression on his face as he gazed at you was so adoring and reverent, so soft. You literally felt yourself melting into a pile of happy mush beneath it.

“Thank you, Jagi,” he said affectionately as he brought his hands up to cup your cheeks. “I can’t believe how lucky I am to call you mine.”

He leaned in then for the sweetest of kisses, one that was unhurried and lingering, like he was trying to commit to memory the exact feeling of your lips on his. As much as you loved the deeper, more passionate and desperate kisses you often shared, ones like this would always be your favorite. When he kissed you like this, slowly and tenderly, like nothing else in the world mattered, you felt more sure than ever of a truth that had once only existed in your wildest dreams.

He loved you

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Too Good To Be True - Ch. 31 | kth(m)

Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.

pairing: Taehyung x reader

genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: 18+

word count: 2.5k

warnings: implied smut

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Chapter 31: Academy Award

The following Sunday you woke to an empty bed. It was a strange feeling since you had always woken up first and found yourself wrapped in Tae’s warm embrace. After rolling over to look at the clock, though, you realized the likely reason: it was almost 11:00 AM. You’re honestly not sure if you’ve ever slept this late. Then again, you’ve never stayed up until 2:00 AM canoodling with a man who had apparently made it his new mission in life to bring you as much sexual pleasure as physically possible. The fact that you legitimately couldn’t recall how many times Tae made you come last night had you blushing; his appetite for hearing you moan his name was insatiable.

Thinking you could perhaps repay him this morning for all that he gave you last night, you decided to surprise him by greeting him in nothing more than his favorite white ‘Celine’ shirt which happened to be laying on the floor. After slipping out of your tank top and shorts and putting his shirt on, you tip-toed across the bedroom, gently pushed open the door and began silently creeping through the living room. You made your way down the hallway towards the kitchen where you heard him puttering around, and were about to turn the corner to reveal yourself, when you suddenly realized he was talking to someone on the phone. Not wanting to eavesdrop, you quickly turned around to head back to bed, but immediately froze when you heard what came out of his mouth next.

“She is not my girlfriend."

His words hit you like a slap in the face.

He had never specifically called you his girlfriend, but he called you Jagi. He called you his. He asked you to live with him. You were together. You were a couple.

Someone must know, or at least be suspicious, and he must be trying to convince them that nothing was happening between you two. He was just trying to protect you and your relationship. That was the only explanation for why he would say such a thing.

“Honestly, I’m offended that you would even ask me that.”

That blow hurt even more than the first, but you forced yourself to remain calm. He probably meant he was offended to have been accused of doing something against the rules, something risky which could cause a scandal for BTS and Big Hit. Obviously, he had broken the rules and taken a risk by being with you, but he hadn’t done so lightly or thoughtlessly like whoever was on the phone might have implied. He had done it because he cared about you and legitimately wanted to be with you.

“I would be embarrassed to call her my girlfriend.”

Upon hearing those words, though, you physically recoiled; no amount of reasoning could soften that blow. Even if he was just trying to convince someone he wasn’t seeing you, there was absolutely no good reason for him to have made that up as part of his defense.

Unless he wasn’t lying.

Suddenly, all the little doubts and worries that had threatened to invade your mind that day at the photoshoot were back and running rampant, but you used every single ounce of your willpower to keep them at bay.

If he truly thought so little of you, was so ashamed to be associated with you, why had he made you such a big part of his life? Why was he so affectionate and protective and generous? Why did he go out of his way to take care of you and make you happy? Why had he brought you into his home? Why had he done and said so many things that made it seem like he loved you?

It just didn’t make sense.

What he had said was crushing, literally your worst fear being realized, but you were still holding onto a tiny flicker of hope that he didn’t mean it or that it was a misunderstanding or that there was some other logical explanation.

But then he spoke again.

“I put up with her because there is something that I want from her...”

An entire eternity came and went as you waited, in stunned disbelief and complete horror, for him to finish that sentence.

“...and I will do and say whatever I need to in order to get it.”

You stood there motionless, absolutely paralyzed by the crushing weight of the devastation that was welling up inside you. This was why he didn’t want anyone to know what was happening between you two, why it was so easy for him to say that he wasn’t seeing someone, why he had pushed your relationship forward so quickly, why everything honestly just seemed too good to be true.

He was playing you.

He was using you.

And, there was no question in your mind as to what it was that he wanted.

You’d given it to him just last night.

Never in a million years would you have believed that he would do something like this, that he would even be capable of doing something like this, but you had heard him admit to it with your own ears. What hurt the most was realizing how long he must have been planning this. He had spent months, no years, gradually, almost imperceptibly reeling you in. Surely he knew all along how you felt about him and had just been waiting for you to finally let your guard down enough to let yourself believe he felt the same.

And, you did. Up until a minute ago you believed with all of your heart that Kim Taehyung truly loved you.

But he didn’t.

You felt your world collapsing around you and it took every bit of strength you had left not to physically collapse along with it right there in the hallway. Silently, you crept back to his bedroom, closing the door behind you without making a sound. As you stood there looking at the rumpled blankets on his bed, you recalled with disgust everything that had happened in it, the intimate ways you had let him touch you.

You realized at once that you were going to be sick. Rushing to the ensuite bathroom, you soon found yourself dry-heaving over the toilet. Nothing was coming out, yet your body kept trying to empty itself, rid itself of him. You suddenly felt dirty, absolutely filthy. Every single part of your body that he had touched felt contaminated. You needed to cleanse yourself. You needed to remove all traces of him, scrub off every single one of his kisses and caresses.

Struggling to your feet, you went to the shower and turned it on. You made the water uncomfortably hot, almost scalding, ripped off his shirt and threw it onto the floor, and then got in. It hurt, the heat was practically searing your skin, but the pain paled in comparison to the ache in your chest. Suddenly exhausted, you sat on the floor, curled up into a ball, and silently sobbed.

You don’t know how long you were in there like that. The concept of time became irrelevant when your sense of reality had been completely shattered. You honestly might have stayed in there all day, Tae’s words stuck on an endless, heart wrenching loop in your head, but the sound of the bathroom door opening pulled you from your thoughts.

“Jagi, do you want me to make you breakfast?” you heard him ask from the door, his voice sickly sweet.

Jagi

Hearing him say that one word, knowing it was utterly meaningless other than to propagate his lie, was infinitely more painful than hearing all the other heartbreaking words he’d said combined.

“Jagi?” he called again when you didn’t respond.

You had to say something. If he said that word one more time you were going to shatter into a million pieces.

“I’m not hungry,” you called back, the shakiness in your voice masked by the sound of the pouring water.

You took a deep breath and tried to calm your heart and steady your breath. If you wanted to keep the last shred of your dignity intact, you couldn’t let him know you had heard him, couldn’t let him know how absolutely devastated you were right now. You just needed to keep it together long enough to get out of the apartment. Only once you had gotten away from him could you start trying to put the pieces of your life back together.

“I actually don’t feel well,” you then said, hoping that sounded believable.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, sounding all concerned like he actually cared.

“I don’t know,” you replied. “I just feel sick.”

“Look, I’ll be out in a minute, OK?” you added before he could say anything back. “We can talk then.”

“Ok,” he said hesitantly. “I’ll be out in the living room.”

Once you heard him close the bathroom door, you waited another minute and then finally turned off the water. You stepped out of the shower, dried off, and then went back into his bedroom. Still in a daze, you hastily got dressed and then stuffed your toiletries and whatever else you could easily find in his room into your day bag, not even bothering to take anything that was in the closet. After slipping on a facemask, you stepped out of the bedroom to find him waiting for you on the couch. He looked genuinely worried, but you forced yourself to remember that it was just an act.

“I-I’m going to go stay at my apartment,” you said, trying desperately to keep your voice from breaking.

He immediately stood up when you said that, now looking completely distraught.

“What?! Jagi, no. You can’t leave,” he said in alarm. “You need to stay here where I can take care of you.”

“I don’t want to get you sick,” you replied cautiously. “We leave for America in three days. If you got sick now it would be a disaster.”

“Whatever you have I probably already have it,” he argued, running his hand through his hair as he spoke. “I mean we...we spent all night together.”

You flinched at his words; the last thing you wanted was to be reminded of what you two had done last night.

“We don’t know that for sure,” you said evenly. “And you owe it to the guys not to take the risk.”

You could sense his resolve starting to falter ever so slightly when you said that. The fact of the matter was that it would be a disaster if he or any of the other guys got sick now. Getting sick or injured before concerts or shows was always one of their biggest concerns. Given that they were preparing for not just one event, but a whole month-long string of events, that concern was infinitely greater.

“I’ll just stay there for a day or so and sleep it off,” you continued. “I’m sure I’ll be fine after that.”

“Jagi,” he said, sounding so conflicted. “I don’t like the idea of you being alone when you’re sick.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay here?” he then asked pleadingly. “What if you sleep in our bedroom and I sleep in one of the guest bedrooms?”

Upon hearing him refer to it as ‘our bedroom’, you actually felt your heart ripping in half. There was truly no limit to his cruelty.

“No,” you said, your voice catching just a bit. “I want to go home.”

He did not miss you referring to your apartment as home and you did not miss the hurt that then flashed across his face.

“OK,” he finally said dejectedly as he started walking towards you. “I’ll walk you out.”

“Stay back,” you almost shouted as you put your hands up defensively, horrified at the idea of him being near you, let alone touching you.

Your reaction had clearly wounded him; the flash of hurt from a second ago was now an obvious pain etched deeply on his face.

“Jagi, is something else wrong?” he asked, his voice trembling. “Did I do something to upset you?”

Him having the audacity to ask you those questions, knowing full-well the terrible things he had said about you and admitted to less than an hour ago, literally made your stomach churn. He was, without a doubt, a truly incredible actor. He deserved a fucking Academy Award for this performance.

“No,” you lied. “I’m just tired and stressed.”

“But, why...why does it seem like you’re afraid of me,” he questioned, now looking to be on the verge of tears.

You were afraid of him, afraid of just how much more damage he could cause to your already bruised and bleeding heart. You had to get out of there. Every single second you spent with him made the pain in your chest exponentially worse.

“Baby, I’m just afraid of getting you sick,” you said in the sweetest, tenderest voice you could muster. “I would feel terrible if I got you sick right before the trip.”

It almost killed you to call him that, to speak to him so lovingly, but it was worth it because he finally seemed to buy your lie.

“OK,” he said quietly, looking down at the floor as he spoke.

For a moment you just stood there staring at him. He looked so miserable, so broken, and you instinctively felt the urge to go and comfort him. You almost did too, almost walked over and wrapped him in your arms, but then you remembered that the sight before you wasn't real, nothing he had ever said or done had been real, and your heart instantly hardened again.

“I’m going to go now” you said as you picked up your bag and started down the hallway. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Bye, Jagi,” you heard him call out softly behind you. “I hope you feel better.”

You didn’t respond or even acknowledge him, you just kept walking towards the door, hoping and praying he wasn’t going to follow you. You got there, and were just about to leave, literally had your hand on the doorknob, when you heard the unmistakable sound of little paws clicking on hardwood. Turning around, you found Tannie had followed you to the door and was now looking up at you excitedly.

You had done so well, had held it together and been so strong, but for some reason looking down at his little adorably angry face was what finally broke the dam.

“Bye Tannie,” you whispered, choking back a sob as you reached down and gave him, for probably the last time, a gentle scratch behind the ears. “Take care of Tanju for me.”

You then placed the apartment key on the entryway table, opened the door, and walked out of Kim Taehyung’s apartment and his life.

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Too Good To Be True - Ch. 42 | kth(m)

Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.

pairing: Taehyung x reader

genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: 18+

word count: 2.4k

warnings: despair, just utter despair

Chapter 42: Far Too Late

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For several minutes, neither of you spoke. The only sound you heard was that of your own rapidly increasing heartbeat. As you stood there, staring down at his phone, the words on the screen slowly blurring together until not a single letter was distinguishable from the next, the contentment you had been filled with just moments ago drained out of you. In its place arose the now all too familiar sense of dread which had been haunting you every moment of every day.

Seeing Tae and Jisoo together these last few weeks had been agonizing. Just watching him hold her hand and hearing him call her Jagi had left you curled up in a ball, sobbing on the floor of the bathroom, so the idea of them being even more affectionate with one another was truly horrifying. As your mind filled with awful images of all the ways Tae and Jisoo could ‘up their game’, you waited with bated breath for him to say something, anything to calm you down and assure you that your worst fears were not about to be realized. Eventually, his voice did cut through the silence, but it was with the absolute last words you wanted to hear.

“She’s right,” he said quietly, his eyes still downcast.

“I am awkward and uncomfortable around her,” he admitted, sounding so guilty. “Far more than a boyfriend should be.”

“And, I-I don’t think Seung is the only person to have noticed,” he then added as he lifted his head and met your expectant gaze.

The room went silent again for a few moments as you anxiously waited for him to elaborate on that fateful statement.

“Jisoo and I had a meeting with Bang PD on Friday,” he confessed, his voice shaking with obvious nervousness. “He brought us in to talk about our upcoming public appearances like award shows and the Itaewon Class premier.”

“He wanted to set some ground rules for how we’ll interact with one another,” he went on. “I think he’s worried we’ll accidentally reveal our relationship or, rather, that Jisoo will reveal it with her usual antics.”

When he said that your mind instantly flashed with images from the Golden Disc Awards last year where Jisoo gave Tae a surprise kiss on the cheek and left that stupid blue lipstick mark. At the time a stunt like that was relatively harmless, albeit infuriating for you to witness, but she certainly couldn’t do something like that if they were trying to hide an actual ‘relationship’.

“The meeting was kind of tense, though,” he then said as he ran his hands through his hair. “He asked a lot of questions and kept looking at us really curiously and I don’t know. He just...he seemed suspicious, just like he was that first day we met with him.”

It took you a couple seconds to process all that he had just said, but when the weight of his admission finally sank in, your jaw dropped open in disbelief.

“You didn’t think to tell me about this meeting?” you asked, trying your best not to shout as you stared at him incredulously. “Before or after it took place?”

“I’m sorry, Jagi,” he replied sorrowfully. “I know it was wrong to keep it from you.”

“He called the meeting unexpectedly so I couldn’t have told you beforehand,” he then quickly explained. “But, afterwards...I just didn’t know what to say.”

“I thought maybe I was just being paranoid so I wanted some time to think about things before I told you,” he said, giving you a desperate, pleading look. “I didn’t want to worry you for no reason. You were already so sad when I got home.”

“But, seeing Jisoo’s conversation with Seung makes me think maybe it wasn’t just in my head and that he might actually be questioning our relationship,” he said, now looking genuinely fearful.

His words hung in the air between you, thick and heavy and suffocating. Over the last few weeks you had been so distracted watching Jisoo move in on your boyfriend that you’d almost forgotten the reason why this all started in the first place: to keep your big secret. The idea that Bang PD of all people might be doubting the legitimacy of their relationship was downright terrifying. Having your actual relationship be discovered would have been bad enough, but getting caught in an elaborate cover up of that relationship would be infinitely worse. Your career would be over, Tae’s would be in serious jeopardy, and your relationship would no doubt be subjected to all manner of scrutiny and criticism.

You couldn’t believe Tae hadn’t told you about this right away and that he had instead chosen to butter you up all weekend with attention and affection before dropping the bomb. You also couldn’t help but wonder if and when he would have told you if Jisoo hadn’t sent those texts. It was alarming how nonchalant he had been the last two days, how easily he was able to mask his emotions. You couldn’t deny that you felt betrayed, but before you let yourself get carried away with anger, something occurred to you: for the last few weeks you had also been hiding your true feelings so as not to upset him. The situations weren’t the exact same, but even still, you felt yourself softening ever-so-slightly. You knew he had good intentions, just like you did.

“Does Jisoo know you think Bang PD is suspicious?” you asked to break the silence, trying not to sound as hurt as you felt.

“We didn't specifically talk about it, but I think she got a similar vibe during the meeting,” he replied solemnly.

If Jisoo also thought Bang PD was questioning their relationship it could explain why Seung’s comments led her to reach out to Tae with the suggestion for them to ‘up their game’. And yet, as you looked back down at her messages, you felt a gnawing, uneasy feeling in your stomach. After watching her push the envelope for weeks with her subtle flirting, you simply could not shake the thought that she was using this as an excuse to cozy up to Tae and circumvent the rules, ones which were specifically put in place to protect the sanctity of your actual relationship. Whether she was doing it to milk all she could out of this once-in-a-lifetime situation with Tae or because she was legitimately trying to take him away, you didn’t know, but you knew you needed to speak up about it.

“Is upping your PDA really going to help?” you questioned, the slight edge in your voice evident by the grimace it drew from Tae. “Is it truly necessary?”

“It would make things look more believable,” he replied reluctantly as the pained expression he wore deepened.

“I know that, but I just…,” you began, not knowing exactly how to phrase what you were trying to say.

You took a deep, steadying breath to try and calm down before you spoke again.

“Could Jisoo be suggesting it for selfish reasons?” you finally asked. “Just so you’ll give her more attention?”

Tae looked at you for a long time after you spoke, his dark eyes searching yours as he seemed to be wrestling with his thoughts. You could tell he was a bit taken aback by your question. You supposed that made sense given this was the first time since the night of your dream that you admitted to having doubts about Jisoo and her motives. Still, you were surprised that this thought seemed not to have crossed his mind and were even more surprised by what he said next.

“I don’t think she would do that, Jagi,” he eventually said, his tone cautious.

“I know she did some hurtful things in the past, and that we were worried at first about trusting her, but she’s done everything we’ve asked of her so far,” he went on tentatively. “She’s followed all the rules.”

“I honestly think she’s just trying to help,” he concluded, giving you a hopeful look.

At the sound of his words, you felt a sharp pang in your chest. After weeks of holding it all in, weeks of being strong and suffering in silence, it hurt that he didn’t believe you when you finally, finally opened up to him and shared one of your worries. The fact that he defended Jisoo of all people only made the pain worse.

While she hadn’t technically violated any of the PDA rules, she had definitely acted in a way that was borderline inappropriate given that she knew you and Tae were together. It seemed obvious to you what she had been trying to do with her revealing clothes and lingering touches these past few weeks. You found it hard to believe that Tae hadn’t also noticed and couldn’t help but be a little upset and also slightly concerned that he hadn’t acknowledged it in any way.

For the briefest of moments, you allowed your mind to wander to a very dark place. You had not realized how close they had apparently grown over the last three weeks. The fact that she had earned his trust so quickly was incredibly unsettling and had you once again worrying about what they did together when you weren’t there. You also couldn’t help but wonder if the reason why he didn’t bring up her flirtatious behavior was because he liked the way it made him feel. That thought then led to another even more unpleasant one: that he was secretly excited to have an excuse to be more affectionate with her.

A second later, though, you were overcome by a deep sense of shame for having allowed those thoughts to enter your mind at all. Throughout all of this, Tae still had done nothing to give you legitimate reason to doubt him like this. He had done everything and anything possible to make sure you felt loved and desired at all times. He had even told you he wanted to marry you and have a family with you one day. His trust in your relationship and vision for your future together were crystal clear; the last thing you wanted to do was ruin everything with your insecurity. You loved him and trusted him wholeheartedly and weren’t going to let Jisoo get in the way of that.  

“If you believe her and think it will help then I trust you,” you replied, your voice catching a bit at the end.

Despite trusting Tae and knowing he would be doing it with good reason, it still hurt to know he was going to do more with Jisoo. He was going to touch her more tenderly, speak to her more softly; he was going to treat her like his actual lover. There was no doubt in your mind that watching it was going to be torture.

“It’s just a week, though, right?” you then added giving him a tight-lipped smile, trying to convince yourself that you were OK with this. “We can make it through one more week with a little extra PDA.”

The way his face crumpled when you said those words had your heart plummeting into your stomach. You hadn’t seen him look at you this guiltily since the night of your big fight when he realized he forgot your birthday.

“Jagi,” he started, his voice strained as his grief-stricken gaze met yours. “We’re going to have to keep doing this a little longer.”

And, just like that, the last bit of hope you had been clinging to disintegrated. The possibility of this nightmare extending beyond a month had always been there, but you had allowed yourself to live in denial of this fact in a desperate act of self preservation. Had you been aware all along of just how long you would need to endure this heartache, you probably would have given up weeks ago.

“How much longer?” you all but whispered.

“I don’t know,” he replied with a deep sigh. “Until the Big Hit Banquet maybe? Or just after?”

“We need Bang PD to actually see us together so we can convince him it's real,” he added quietly.

You felt the room spinning. The Big Hit Banquet was over a month away. You had only just mustered the strength to brave another week of your current misery, but now here you were being asked to increase both the intensity and duration of your suffering. The thought alone was almost more than you could bear and you felt your body beginning to give out under the crushing weight of it all.

“I’m sorry, Jagi,” he then said, sounding so completely and utterly broken that you felt his pain in your own soul. “I’m so, so sorry.”

“I know it’s going to hurt,” he went on shakily. “But, we have to keep going.”

“We can’t let all of this have been for nothing,” he concluded despondently as he slumped his head back into his hands.

At that moment, there were so many things you wanted to say.

That the pain was already unbearable.

That you honestly didn’t know if you could handle this anymore.

That if you kept going and irrevocably damaged your relationship it all would have been for nothing anyway.

All those words were right there, stuck in your throat, threatening to suffocate you. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you struggled to force them out, but every time they came close to passing your lips your body failed you and all that came out was an inaudible gasp. Silently, you begged him to look up and just see it, the sheer panic that was enveloping you, but his head remained in his hands, his eyes fixed on the floor in a blank, lifeless stare.

The two of you stayed there like that for a long time, you not saying what needed to be said, Tae not seeing what needed to be seen, until eventually your crippling anxiety subsided and was replaced with empty resignation.

He was right: you had to keep going.

It was far too late now to turn back.

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Too Good To Be True - Ch. 43 | kth(m)

Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.

pairing: Taehyung x reader

genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: 18+

word count: 4.1k

warnings: cursing, implied smut, possible infidelity

Chapter 43: Slipped My Mind

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The new ‘rules’ you established that Sunday night were much more vague than the ones that were initially agreed upon. They focused more on what Tae and Jisoo shouldn’t do, rather than what they should do, which left a frighteningly large gray area for you all to navigate through. You hated their ambiguous nature, hated how they made you acutely aware of your lack of control in this whole situation, but you were, begrudgingly, the one to suggest they be designed this way. The unavoidable truth was that having a strict and limited set of predefined ways for Tae and Jisoo to interact was what made things seem forced and awkward in the first place. If they wanted their relationship to be believable, their interactions needed to be less calculated and more natural. They needed to be able to react organically to the situations they found themselves in and that meant not always knowing ahead of time what they were going to do.

Things like kissing on the lips or touching in a way that was overtly sexual were obviously not OK, but other than that nothing was really set in stone. You gave Tae permission to be more physically affectionate and to do more cute coupley things, however, you couldn’t bring yourself to explicitly outline specific things he should do. Ultimately, you ended up telling him to just use his judgement and do whatever he thought necessary and appropriate to make it look real. Your only stipulation was that he be the one to dictate any interactions that were more intimate in nature. If he initiated something, Jisoo could then go along with it, otherwise she was supposed to abide by the original rules. Despite Tae’s trust in her altruistic intentions, you still had your doubts. The last thing you wanted was her thinking she now had the freedom to do whatever she wanted with your boyfriend.

Tae asked if you wanted him to check with you before he did anything with her to which you honestly replied ‘No’. The idea of him spending time contemplating what to do somehow seemed more painful than him simply doing things spur of the moment when he saw an opportunity to put on a show. When it came to explaining what they had done together after the fact, Tae did not ask if that’s what you wanted, he told you that’s what he would do. He said there couldn’t be any secrets between you two and, although you knew it would hurt you both to talk through their interactions, you agreed it was the right thing to do. And, finally, he made you promise that if he ever did anything that you felt crossed the line that you would tell him right away.

Throughout your entire conversation, you could just feel the guilt and torment radiating off of him. It was then that you truly recognized and acknowledged the heartbreak he was suffering as a result of all this. It was different from what you were enduring, but it was no less severe. He was being forced to hurt you, the woman he loved and wanted to spend the rest of his life with, and the deep wounds this left him with were ones you began to fear might never heal. With each passing second, you felt your resolve to be strong for him deepening; you could not bear to cause him even more pain.

After you and Tae talked through everything and decided what you wanted to do moving forward, he called Jisoo to let her know. Initially, he stayed with you in the bedroom, holding your hand and gently stroking your thumb as he spoke with her, but eventually he excused himself and left the room. You felt the tiniest twinge of anxiety watching him leave, wondering why he needed to talk to her in private, but you pushed it from your mind. You trusted that he had a good reason and that he would tell you what you needed to know afterwards. He was on the phone with her for a long time, though, so long that you eventually climbed into bed to wait for him.

You were half asleep when he finally came back into the room, sighing deeply as he closed the door behind him. A few minutes later he crawled into bed beside you. He wrapped his arms around you like always and pulled you against his chest, enveloping you in his warm, comforting embrace. One of his hands soon found yours, his fingers carefully lacing with your own as he peppered your shoulder with little kisses.

“I love you, Jagi,” he whispered after a moment. “I love you so much. More than anything in the whole world.”

“I meant it when I gave you this,” he went on as he gently twirled the couple’s ring around your finger with his thumb. “I will always love you.”

“Please don’t ever forget that,” he then said, the slightest tremble and hint of fearfulness in his voice. “No matter what.”

“Baby, I won’t,” you assured him. “I promise.”

Bringing his hand to your lips, you sealed that promise with a tender kiss to the finger on which he wore his matching couple’s ring.

“I love you and I love us and that’s never going to change,” you added softly.

“We’re going to get through this,” you said finally, trying your best to be brave for him. “Everything is going to be OK.”

~~~

The following morning, phase two of the plan to keep your secret, stay together, and save your relationship began. Tae sent out a text to the other guys letting them know what was going on so they wouldn’t be surprised when they saw him and Jisoo acting differently. Unsurprisingly, Namjoon called Tae immediately after receiving the text. From what you could gather from the half of the conversation you heard, the older man was a bit wary of this change of plans, but agreed you couldn’t risk backing off now if Bang PD was legitimately suspicious. As you sat there in the kitchen listening to Tae explain things, you got a much needed bit of assurance knowing your guardian angel was onboard with everything.

Tae ‘upped their game’ little by little so as to lessen the blow and give you time to adjust to their new dynamic which you greatly appreciated. Despite the fact that they were doing more together than they had been before, you actually felt your level of anxiety decrease slightly. The fact that you and him were regularly talking about what they were doing was helping significantly in terms of quelling your fears. You still weren’t divulging all of your deep seeded insecurities, but you were being more candid than you had been during the first three weeks of this ordeal. However, no matter what Tae did or said in the evenings to assure you of his love and commitment, you did still have moments when you were unable to combat the little doubts that infiltrated your mind.

On Monday, Tae fed Jisoo part of his meal while they had lunch down in the café. Eunji happened to be there at the time and had sneakily taken a photo and then sent it to you. As you sat there by yourself in the studio staring down at the photo, you couldn’t help but be overcome with bitterness. You and Tae would never get to do something like that. Obviously, he wouldn’t be able to take you or Jisoo out to an actual restaurant without being swamped by fans and media. But, inside of the Big Hit building, he did have the freedom and protection to openly be with his partner...so long as that partner was Jisoo and not you.

On Tuesday, they took a bunch of selfies together. They spent several minutes throwing out different poses, giggling the entire time and clearly having fun. They took one while doing Tae’s signature ‘V’ over the eye pose. Another showed them making silly faces with their tongues sticking out. In the last one they took, Jisoo gave Tae a kiss on the cheek while he scrunched his face up all cutely. Jisoo actually made that one the background of her phone, but thankfully Tae kept the photo of Tannie as the background of his. For that, you were extremely grateful; you didn’t think you could handle it if you saw her face every time he turned on his phone.

On Wednesday, he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and pulled her to his chest while hanging out in the studio. She slowly slid her hands down his arms and then carefully intertwined their fingers. Off to the side, you watched them through the mirror, noting how frustratingly perfect they looked together. They were both so beautiful, so captivating and alluring. You couldn't help but worry what people would say when it was time to publicly reveal your relationship years from now. Surely they would be surprised, and maybe even disappointed, to see Tae with someone as plain as you.

On Thursday, he kissed her on the forehead. Out of everything he had done, this was by far the most painful to witness. Although she had given him kisses to the cheek almost daily for the last month, this was the first time he had ever touched her with his lips. The gesture somehow seemed more intimate than if he had kissed her on the mouth. A kiss to the lips could be mistaken for nothing more than lust, but a kiss to the forehead meant so much more. It signified adoration and affection, emotions that were only supposed to be reserved for you. The worst part wasn’t just that he did it, but that he did it with a tenderest of smiles on his face.

By the time Friday rolled around, you were emotionally exhausted, significantly more so than you had been at the end of any of the previous three grueling weeks. Nothing Tae did had crossed the line, all of their interactions had been relatively tame and innocent, but the way he had done things had been hard to stomach.

It just looked so real.

It was both impressive and unsettling how quickly he seemed to have flipped the switch. Just last week it looked awkward and forced every time he touched her or spoke to her, but now it seemed like everything came naturally to him. You knew the ease with which he slipped into the character of her doting boyfriend was a reflection of his acting skills, but nonetheless, it was at times hard to watch. There had been a handful of instances throughout the week where you had, for just a split second, forgotten he was pretending.

To say you were ready for the weekend was a massive understatement and thankfully the day had gone by quickly and without incident. Due to his hectic rehearsal schedule, you actually hadn’t seen Tae once all day since leaving the apartment. Normally, that would have bummed you out, but not seeing Tae meant not seeing Jisoo and you weren’t about to complain about that. However, your hopes of having a completely Jisoo-free day were dashed just as you were getting ready to head home.

After attending a meeting with the other stylist’s regarding the upcoming Big Hit family photoshoot, you entered the studio to find Jisoo perched on Tae’s chair. By now, you were accustomed to this sight. She waited here for him almost every day so they could walk out to the parking garage together. Seeing them leave hand-in-hand was an unpleasant way to end each work day, but you were comforted knowing that the moment he said goodbye to her, he was once again unequivocally yours. As she drove away back to whatever sad life awaited her, he drove home to you and your life together.

Over the course of the last month, Jisoo had interacted with you only sparingly, something which you found surprising and also slightly unnerving. You had expected her to be constantly giving you dirty looks or throwing out little jabs, anything to use the precarious situation against you, but she had contained whatever resentment you were convinced she still held towards you. When she was with you and Tae in the studio, she had mostly ignored your existence, instead focusing all her attention on Tae. Your most notable exchange had occurred early on when she informed you that your close relationship with Tae might be viewed as inappropriate, but since then you hadn’t spoken more than a few pleasantries to one another.

This week, though, there had been a noticeable change in her demeanor towards you. Before, she seemed to have genuinely tried to tone things down when you were around, but now she appeared to have no qualms about flaunting her ‘relationship’ right in front of you. While she did refrain from initiating anything more intimate, she immediately went all in on whatever Tae did, taking a mile when he gave her an inch with absolutely no regard for your feelings whatsoever. She wore a sweet, innocent smile the majority of the time, but every now and then she dropped the façade and flashed you a smug, satisfied smirk. She was clearly loving the new rules, absolutely eating up all the attention and affection Tae gave her, and she wanted you to know. It was infuriating to stand by and watch her, to know she had gotten exactly what she wanted, but you had no choice but to grin and bear it.

As you walked over to your station to pack up your bag, you kept your eyes glued to your phone in an attempt to deter Jisoo from attempting to speak to you. Initially, your plan was successful; for ten whole minutes she pretended not to have noticed that you entered the vicinity. However, her shrill voice eventually cut through the peaceful silence.

“I must say, I’m surprised you’re OK with all this,” she said, her tone annoyingly light. “I’m not sure I would be able to sit back and watch my boyfriend be all over another woman.”

“You must really trust him,” she went on casually.

At last, the claws have come out.

“I do,” you replied evenly. “I know he’s only doing it because he loves me and wants to protect our relationship.”

“Still, doesn’t it bother you when you see us together here at work?” she asked, her voice dripping with obviously fake concern. “When you watch him hold me or kiss me?”

No, it doesn’t bother me. It fucking kills me.

“Not one bit,” you said nonchalantly, refusing to give her the satisfaction of knowing her words had gotten under her skin. “I know it doesn’t mean anything.”

“He still comes home to me every night,” you continued, a hint of smugness now in your voice as your courage surged. “He cooks me dinner, cuddles with me on the couch, makes love to me in our bed, and then falls asleep with me in his arms.”

“So, no, it doesn’t bother me when I see him playing pretend with you,” you stated triumphantly.

She seemed genuinely surprised by the boldness of your statement and you relished the stunned expression she momentarily wore. However, in an instant it was gone and she was back sporting her usual smirk.

“Well, I’m glad to know you’re OK with everything,” she went on in a sickly sweet voice.

“I was worried you might be upset that he and I spent yesterday afternoon alone in my recording lab,” she then added, barely able to contain the glee in her voice as she spoke.

Upon hearing her words, you felt the rush of confidence you’d just experienced begin slowly draining out of you. Like every other day this week, last night you and Tae had talked through his day and he’d let you know everything that had happened between him and Jisoo. He had mentioned the forehead kiss and a couple other small interactions like hugs and holding hands, but he hadn’t mentioned anything about being alone with her in her recording lab. Finding yourself completely caught off guard, you simply stood there in silence, trying to gather your thoughts as you began imagining them together on the couch in that cozy, dimly-lit room.

“Oh, he didn’t tell you?” she asked, feigning surprise when you didn’t respond.

“It must have just slipped his mind,” she continued innocently. “He was really tired when he left yesterday.”

The clear insinuation of her words had you snapping back to reality, but before you could say anything Tae walked into the studio, his big, boxy smile shining brightly. He came over and gave Jisoo a hug, but shot you a quick wink behind her back. Under normal circumstances that little secret gesture would have made you giddy, but right now, after the conversation you and Jisoo had just had, it made your insides churn as an awful thought popped into your head.

What if he does things behind my back too?

You hated yourself for even thinking that, but you couldn’t deny that Jisoo’s words had shaken you. It was clear that you and Tae needed to talk, but you knew you couldn’t afford to get into it right now so you gave him a small smile in return and hoped he wouldn’t notice that it didn’t reach your eyes.

“We need to get going,” Jisoo then said, breaking away from his hug and instead linking her arm with his. “We have dinner reservations at 6:00, remember?”

“Oh, uh, right,” he said, clearing his throat as he grabbed his jacket off of his chair.

“Bye, Y/N,” he then added casually as she began tugging him towards the door. “I’ll see you on Monday.”

As you watched them leave, you began replaying your conversation with Jisoo, trying to stay calm and not let your mind wander to dark places. Not a minute after they were gone, though, your phone buzzed in your pocket.

[Taehyung 4:34 PM] ‘See you on Monday’

[Taehyung 4:34 PM] As if I could actually go two whole days without you.

[Taehyung 4:35 PM] I would die of cuddle and kiss withdrawal.

[Taehyung 4:35 PM] I’ll see you at home soon, sweetheart 💜

As you reread his messages, swooning at the new nickname, you felt yourself relax as you let out the breath you had been holding. Surely there was an explanation for what Jisoo said, the most likely of which being that she straight up lied to you. She had clearly been trying to rile you up, but after you shut down her initial attacks she got desperate and started spewing nonsense. Once you talked to Tae, he would confirm this and everything would be fine. Shaking off the rest of your negative thoughts, you finished packing up and headed home.

When you got there, you were only further convinced that Jisoo was full of crap. After quietly entering the apartment, you crept towards the kitchen and heard Tae starting to make dinner while talking to who you could only assume was Tannie.

I know you missed Mommy today. I missed her too. I snuck down to the studio during one of our rehearsal breaks just so I could peek through the door and see her. She was working on my outfit for the Big Hit family photoshoot and she pouted so adorably when the sewing machine got jammed. I wanted so badly to walk in there and kiss her pouty lips, but obviously I couldn’t do that. You know the rules: no kissing Mommy at work. She’s going to be home soon, though, and then we’ll get to see her all weekend and get all the kisses and all the cuddles too.

Those simply could not be the words of someone who was hiding things from you.

Not wanting to spoil the absolutely lovely mood he’d set with that cute soliloquy, you decided to wait until after dinner to bring up your conversation with Jisoo. Of course, immediately after dinner was over you two had not one but two servings of dessert, the first one hot and messy right there on the dining room table and the second slow and passionate between the satin sheets of your bed.

It wasn’t until later on, after you’d showered, together of course, and gotten into bed that you finally had the chance to ask him about what Jisoo had said. You were fairly certain she had lied, or that she had misrepresented the situation somehow so as to give you the wrong impression, but you just wanted to get clarity from Tae so you could stop worrying.

“Tae?” you began to get his attention.

He hummed in reply as he snuggled you closer and burrowed his face in your hair.

“Jisoo said something today about you guys spending yesterday afternoon alone in her recording lab,” you said carefully. “Did she make that up?”

The few seconds during which he hesitated to answer you were cause enough for slight concern, but it was the way his body tensed up that had you instantly on edge. All at once, the calm, happy cocoon he’d had you wrapped in all evening began unraveling. It was a simple question, one which shouldn’t have elicited this kind of guarded response from him.

“No, actually she didn’t,” he replied, an unmistakable hint of trepidation in his voice. "We were in there."

“I’m sorry I forgot to tell you,” he then added guiltily.

You forgot or you purposefully didn’t tell me?

You couldn’t help but ask yourself this question. Although Tae could be forgetful at times, this was a pretty important thing to have forgotten, especially when it happened only hours before you talked. An uncomfortable silence then settled over the two of you when he didn’t elaborate on his admission or explain the situation further.

“What were you guys doing in there?” you eventually questioned as nonchalantly as possible so as not to convey your growing unease.

Again, there was the briefest of pauses before he responded which caused your stomach to drop.

“She said she needed to stop by and pick something up after lunch,” he answered tentatively. “But then she started playing some songs from her upcoming album and I got stuck in there for a while.”

“I’m sorry again that I didn’t mention it yesterday,” he went on quickly as he hugged you to him a little more tightly. “It just slipped my mind.”

“It’s OK,” you said quietly. “Thanks for telling me now.”

As you laid there, for the first time feeling a bit suffocated by his warm embrace rather than comforted by it, you debated what more you should say. The idea of Jisoo dragging him in there for one thing only to force him to listen to her songs was believable; she was always trying to show off for him in one way or another. If he had told you about this upfront yesterday, you wouldn’t have been nearly as upset as you were right now. While you didn’t love the idea of them being alone together behind a closed door, you trusted him in that situation. At least, you thought you did.

You wanted desperately to believe that he had truly just forgotten to tell you, but the sinking feeling in your stomach had you doubting that theory. Assuming he had purposefully kept this information to himself, the best case scenario was that he was afraid he had accidentally crossed the line by being in there alone with her and didn’t want to upset you. It would still have been wrong of him not to tell you, but at least he would have had good intentions. The worst case scenario, though, was legitimately too painful to contemplate: that he had knowingly and intentionally crossed the line while in there but didn’t want you to know.

With all your might, you tried to force that last heartbreaking thought from your mind. Tae loved you. He was only spending time with her because he loved you and wanted to keep you safe. He wanted to marry you and have a family with you and spend the rest of his life with you.

He would never cheat on you.

Right?

Not sure if there were any words that could express the jumbled mess of thoughts and emotions you were currently dealing with, you ultimately ended up saying nothing more. Whether Tae didn’t realize you were actually not OK at the moment, or he noticed but didn’t want to address it, you weren’t sure, but a few minutes later he reached over and turned off the lamp on the bedside table.

“Goodnight, Jagi,” he whispered. “I hope you have sweet dreams.”

“Night, Tae,” you called back softly, knowing with absolute certainty that any dreams you had, assuming you slept at all, would be anything but sweet.

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Too Good To Be True - Ch. 44 | kth(m)

Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.

pairing: Taehyung x reader

genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: 18+

word count: 4k

warnings: cursing, sexting, bondage, implied sex

A/N:  So I realized the last couple chapters have been super angsty and depressing and decided we needed to have a bit of fluffy, smutty fun for a change. Rest assured, this was but a respite from the heartbreak. The big angst is still coming. But, for the time being, I hope you enjoy Y/N and Tae being super cute and incredibly hot for each other :

Chapter 44: The Best Boy

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It was nearly 2 AM and you were still awake, nothing but the sound of Tannie’s soft snores and Tae’s occasional mutterings to break the otherwise suffocating silence.

You’d say you spent the last several hours tossing and turning, but that would be a lie; it was impossible to toss, turn, or really move at all whilst in Kim Taehyung’s sleepy clutches. He’d fallen asleep rather quickly, leaving you alone with your tumultuous thoughts, something which you were trying desperately not to resent him for. The situation was uncomfortably reminiscent of the night in which this whole fake dating fiasco began: Tae beside you sleeping peacefully while you laid there wide awake, your mind racing. After hours spent contemplating everything - what you were told, what you believed, how you felt, what you should do - you had figured out precisely nothing.

With a defeated sigh, you decided you couldn’t stay in bed any longer. Gently extracting yourself from Tae’s koala bear embrace and stuffing your pillow into his arms instead, you quietly slipped from the bedroom. After turning on the light in the living room, you went over to one of the couches and collapsed down onto it, your head instantly falling into your hands. You don’t know how long you sat there, staring blankly ahead as you sifted through your endless thoughts, but eventually something on the bookshelf in front of you caught your eye.

It was a framed picture of Tae’s phone that showed his background set to the first photo you’d ever taken together, the one where he was trying to eat your pigtail. Since he obviously couldn’t have that photo be the background of his phone all the time, he figured having a picture of what it would look like was the next best thing. He gave it to you a week or so after you got back from America, calling it a ‘because I love you’ gift. You cracked up when you pulled it out of the bag, telling him it would have been easier if he just got you a framed picture of the photo itself, but he said that would have been too boring. It was such a silly, sweet, thoughtful gift, something that was so incredibly Tae. Looking at it now, you were reminded not only of how much Tae loved you, but of the infinite number of ways, big and small, that he went about expressing that love.

Him giving you the couple’s ring that matched his grandmother’s ring to assure you of his commitment. The fact that he made coffee for you in the mornings even though he didn’t drink it. How affectionate and passionate and generous he was when you were intimate. The way he kept the apartment slightly warmer than he probably wanted because he knew you were always cold. How he shared his vision for your future together and spoke of marriage and children without the slightest bit of doubt or hesitancy. When he pretended to be full because he knew how much you wanted the last dumpling. How often he lavished you with genuine praise, saying you were beautiful, smart, talented, strong, the woman of his dreams. How he spent three years writing you the most beautiful love song, one which he often softly sang to you at night as you were falling asleep.

Laying down on the couch, you pulled out your phone and started playing the original demo version of ‘Sweet Night’ Tae had given you. Once he started ‘dating’ Jisoo, his plan for re-recording the song without her on backing vocals unfortunately went out the window. It would make no sense for him to kick her off the song if recording it together is what led them to date in the first place. It was frustrating that she would be on the official version, but you had this one which you absolutely loved and that was enough for you.

As you lay there listening to Tae’s soft, soothing voice, memories from the summer when they were recording this song together washed over you. It had been an extremely confusing and difficult time for you, one marked by many sleepless, tear-filled nights. When you thought back to all the most heartbreaking moments, though, you realized there was an undeniable common theme:

Jisoo bending the truth to fit her own twisted narrative.

How she led you to believe Tae was taking her on a date when they were actually attending a dinner meeting with numerous other people.

How she pretended he had given her the dark chocolate-covered strawberries even though he had actually ordered them to go so he could give them to you.

How she made it seem like he was busy and not spending time with you because they were together when in reality he had been hard at work producing the song he wrote to confess his love to you.

Suddenly, the idea that you’d questioned Tae’s faithfulness for even a second seemed completely absurd. Whatever the reason for him not telling you about their time in her recording lab, whether because he truly did just forget or because he felt guilty about being in there at all, it was obvious now that Jisoo had purposefully misconstrued the situation. She wanted you to have doubts and to accuse him of cheating, knowing how absolutely devastated he would be if you did so. She wanted to drive a wedge between you and him, just like she did over the summer, and ruin your relationship.

Why? Because she was jealous, plain and simple. You had a committed, loving, absolutely wonderful partner and she was jealous. You didn't blame her, you had once been jealous of her when you thought they were together, but the way she was going about dealing with her envy was both cruel and pathetic.

But, no longer were you going to sit back and take it. No longer were you going to be intimidated by her or let yourself be poisoned by her toxicity.

It was time to stand up for yourself and fight fire with fire. If she wanted to shamelessly revel in and openly flaunt her fake relationship, then you would shamelessly revel in and openly flaunt your real one, in all it’s fluffy, smutty glory. You would show her, once and for all, that Tae was wholly and unequivocally yours.

With a newfound sense of calm and purpose, you rose from the couch and headed back into the bedroom, determined to get a good night’s sleep so you could begin taking your life back tomorrow. Climbing onto the bed, you found Tae had completely wrapped himself around your pillow, a sight which was painfully adorable. You tried gently prying it out of his grasp, but he was holding it with both his arms and his legs and it wouldn’t budge. Pulling a little harder now, it was just beginning to come free from his hold when suddenly he clutched it back tightly against his chest.

“No,” he mumbled sleepily.

“Mine,” he then added after you gave the pillow another tug, his words just barely understandable. “My Jagi.”

In that moment, you thought for sure your heart would burst. Even in his sleep, he called you his.

“Tae,” you whispered as you brushed his hair back from his face. “Tae.”

It took a minute of trying to gently rouse him before he finally started to stir.

“Hmm?” he hummed, clearly disoriented after being woken up in the middle of night.

“I left the bed for a few minutes and now you’re cuddling my pillow,” you whispered, smiling as you watched the realization hit him.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he muttered as he let go of your pillow and put it back by your head.

“It’s Ok,” you said back with a giggle. “I just thought maybe you’d want to go back to cuddling me?

“Most definitely,” he replied as he held his arms open.

Scooting over to take up the space previously occupied by your pillow, you let him envelope you in his arms and pull you to his chest.

“Much better,” he said softly as he nuzzled his face into your neck. “My Jagi is back where she belongs.”

“Yes,” you called back quietly, already beginning to feel sleepy. “Yes, I am.”

~~~

You woke the following morning to the feeling of Tae pressing a feather-light kiss against your temple. From there, his lips made their way to your forehead, the tip of your nose, the apple of your cheek, and every other inch of your face. You pretended to still be asleep as long as you could, but when his lips finally found yours you were unable to contain your smile any longer.

“Good morning, beautiful,” he said sweetly.

“I’m not beautiful right now,” you mumbled sleepily, your eyes still closed. “My face is puffy and my hair is messy and I have eye oogies.”

“Your eye oogies make you especially beautiful,” he said with a laugh before kissing the corner of your eye, precisely where the offending oogies were located.

Finally opening your eyes, you found him lying beside you, gazing at you with the most adoring smile. In the soft light streaming in from the window, he looked nothing short of angelic, his fluffy, sleep-mussed hair framing his handsome face. No matter how many nights you spent together, you would never get used to waking up to this view.  

“You were in my dream last night,” he admitted shyly a moment later.

“Yea?” you questioned, loving the little blush that he was now sporting. “What did you dream about?”

He nervously bit his lower lip and looked away for a moment before responding.

“Umm, I might have dreamed that we were in the backyard of our theoretical future house playing with our theoretical future kids,” he said bashfully as his cheeks grew even redder.

Upon hearing his words, you felt the biggest, dopiest smile spread across your face. That might just be the most adorable, wonderful thing he’s ever said to you.

“Ok, you are too freaking cute,” you said, gazing at him with heart eyes.

“How many kids did we have?” you then asked, genuinely curious to know what his subconscious thought up.

“Honestly, I’m not sure,” he admitted with a laugh. “They were running all over the place so it was hard to get an accurate count.”

“Oh dear,” you said with a laugh of your own. “We had so many that you couldn’t even count them?”

“Theoretically speaking, it appears so,” he admitted, giving you a little smirk.

If there was any residual doubt in your mind after last night’s epiphany, it was gone now. The man literally had dreams where you had a family together, that’s how sure he was of your future. You were now more determined than ever to stand up to Jisoo and fight for Tae, your relationship, and that beautiful future he saw with you. And, you knew just how you wanted to do it.

While you and him spent the day lounging around and binging episodes of your new favorite show on Netflix, you secretly planned a special surprise for him for the following evening. It was one which you believed he would thoroughly enjoy and also one which would help make it crystal clear to Jisoo who exactly Tae belonged to. Since she had obviously failed miserably in her attempt to seduce him and have him lusting after her, you decided you were going to show her how it’s done. You were going to make it painfully obvious to her what it looked like when Kim Taehyung had it bad for someone, that someone being you.

Wanting him to be all the more eager tomorrow night, you exerted an enormous amount of self control and kept things PG all day long. That night, when Tae began kissing your neck and running his fingers along the waistband of your leggings while you were cuddling, his way of letting you know he was in the mood, you feigned being too tired to do anything. Given you rarely ever turned down an invitation for intimacy, you thought he might be surprised or disappointed by your reaction, but if he was he didn’t let it show. Always the gentleman, he immediately stopped what he was doing and reverted back to being a cuddly teddy bear, holding you affectionately but respectfully. It was extremely hard to turn him down, especially since his little kisses and touches had definitely gotten you in the mood, but you remained strong, committed to your plan.

You successfully warded off his advances the following morning too, though, it was certainly easier said than done. The two of you had an extremely healthy and active sex life, having literally not gone a single day without some form of intimacy since the night of your dinner date. Going almost 48 hours with nothing more than a few heated kisses was rough and made you all the more excited for this evening’s surprise.

You began putting your plan into action that afternoon once Tae left the apartment to head over to the dorms. The guys were having a meeting and then Jin was making dinner which meant he would be gone for several hours. As soon as he left, you got dressed and headed out to the mall, knowing exactly what store you wanted to visit and exactly what you planned on buying.

A couple hours later, you were back in the apartment, staring down at your purchases with a look of immense satisfaction. The lingerie set before you was incredibly sexy; it was gray, which was Tae’s favorite color, lacy, strappy, and almost entirely see-through. Up until recently, you never in your wildest dreams could have imagined wearing something so scandalous, but being with Tae had given you so much self-confidence. He made you feel like an absolute goddess whenever you were intimate, like every inch of you was beautiful and perfect. You genuinely liked the way you looked while wearing the set and were all but certain Tae would too.

After showering and shaving every last inch of your body, you did your hair in some soft curls and put on a bit of light, natural makeup. You then slipped the lingerie on, sat down on the bed, and texted Tae.

[5:11 PM] I decided to get out of the apartment for a bit and do some shopping.

You snapped a photo of the Victoria’s Secret bag sitting on the floor and sent it along with a winky face. Tae’s response came almost instantaneously.

[Taehyung 5:12 PM] Victoria’s Secret?! 😳

[Taehyung 5:13 PM] Is my Jagi going to put on a fashion show for me tonight? 👀

[5:14 PM] I might.

[5:14 PM] If you’re a good boy.

[Taehyung 5:15 PM] I will be. I’ll be such a good boy. The best boy.

[Taehyung 5:16 PM] Can I get a teaser photo? Pretty please? 🙏🏻

Laughing at him calling it a ‘teaser photo’ like this was some kind of BTS comeback, you laid down and propped yourself up on one elbow, resting your chin in your hand. You held your phone out in front of you and angled it so as to show off your cleavage and reveal a bit of the bra. Biting your lip ever so slightly, you then took a photo and hit send.

[Taehyung 5:20 PM] Fuck. Sweetheart.

[Taehyung 5:21 PM] You are gorgeous. Literally the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

[Taehyung 5:21 PM] Please let me see the rest of your beautiful body. PLEASE.

[5:22 PM] I will…

[5:22 PM] …once you get home.

[Taehyung 5:24 PM] You are minx. A siren. A seductive temptress.

[Taehyung 5:24 PM] And fuck if I don’t love it.

Getting up onto your knees, you took and sent another photo, this one from the side showing the thin straps of the panties and the curve of your ass.

[Taehyung 5:30 PM] That’s it. I’m leaving.

[Taehyung 5:30 PM] I don’t need the dinner Jin-hyung is making.

[Taehyung 5:31 PM] There is clearly a delicious meal waiting for me at home.

[Taehyung 5:32 PM] I told the guys there was an emergency which technically wasn’t a lie.

[Taehyung 5:32 PM] The emergency is that my sinfully hot girlfriend is alone in our bed right now wearing lingerie.

[Taehyung 5:33 PM] I’ll be home soon, Jagi.

[5:34 PM] I’ll be here waiting for you 💜

Twenty minutes later, which you noted with a chuckle was less time than it usually took to get home from the dorms, you heard the apartment door open. Not a minute after that, the door to the bedroom opened and Tae came bursting in, breathing heavily after clearly rushing to get to you.

You were sitting on the edge of the bed, legs crossed and a glass of wine in one hand. Wanting to keep the mystery as long as possible, you had thrown on the lingerie set’s matching satin robe. It barely came mid-thigh, though, and Tae was immediately drinking in the sight of your bare legs. Setting your glass of wine down on the nightstand, you stood up and strode over to him. His hands reflexively came out to rest on your waist, but you stopped him at the last second.

“No touching,” you said coyly, wagging your finger at him. “At least not until you prove you’re a good boy.”

He gave you an adorable pout as he slowly withdrew his hands.

“How do I do that?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at you.

“Strip,” you then said simply.

Clearly caught off guard by your bold demand, his eyes went wide for a moment before his gaze darkened and a sly smirk spread across his face. Slowly, and without breaking eye contact, he began removing his clothes. Once he was down to just his boxers, you instructed him to lay down on the bed. You then pulled two scarves out of the top drawer of your dresser and held them up for him to see.

“If you want to see the fashion show, you have to be tied up,” you said flirtatiously.

His pupils were blown out wide now, his expression one of unmistakable lust. The two of you had never experimented with any form of bondage before, but it was more than obvious that this was something he found arousing.

“Are you OK with that?” you then asked more seriously, making sure he was actually comfortable with what you had just proposed.

“Yes,” he replied instantly. “Absolutely.”

“You can do whatever you want with me, Jagi,” he added as his tongue came out to wet his lips.

“Oh I will,” you said with a mischievous smirk.

Once he was fully restrained, you began the fashion show. You started by untying your robe and slowly letting it fall off one shoulder, giving him a tiny glimpse of the gray fabric beneath. After shrugging it off the other shoulder, the robe then pooled around your waist, exposing the entirety of the nearly see-through bra. You stayed like that for a little bit, letting the robe slip lower a couple times only to pull it back up at the last second, each time causing him to mutter a breathy curse.

The way he licked and bit his lips when you finally let the robe fall to the floor, shamelessly letting his gaze linger on the strappy panties that covered close to nothing, sent a wave of arousal through you. However, nothing turned you on more than him pleading in a deep, husky voice for you to turn around and let him see you from behind. You obliged, but glanced back to find him looking utterly transfixed by the way the lacy fabric hugged your curves.

After striking a number of naughty poses at the foot of the bed, you eventually climbed onto it and crawled towards him on all fours until you were hovering over him. You then proceeded to tease him with hot, open-mouthed kisses to his neck and chest and stomach until he begged for you to untie him, whining that he needed to touch you. You sat down and straddled him as you contemplated whether or not to let him go, relishing the low groans you drew from him every time you gently swiveled your hips. After a few minutes of torturing him like that, you decided he had been a good boy after all and finally released him.

The second he was free he pounced, pinning you to the bed with the hungriest look in his eye you had ever seen. The beast inside him now unleashed, he spent the rest of the evening absolutely devouring you, worshiping your body in every way imaginable and wringing pleasure from you until you truly couldn't take it anymore. It was by far the most intense and erotic sexual experience you’d ever shared together, one that was certainly more than you bargained for, but which had definitely accomplished your ultimate goal.

“Jagi, sweetheart,” Tae said between pants as you laid together afterwards, limbs tangled in a sweaty, messy heap. “You’ve ruined me.”

“How am I supposed to act professionally around you tomorrow after this?” he then questioned, more to himself than to you.

“I’m going to be sitting there in my chair daydreaming about you tying me to it and riding me,” he went on.  

“That could be arranged,” you said coyly, leaning in to give him a lazy kiss.

“Fuck,” he groaned. “You’re going to be the death of me.”

“You love it,” you replied, biting back a smile.

“You’re damn right I do,” he growled as he rolled on top of you.

“How did I get so lucky?” he then mused as he gazed at you in wonder. “I’ve got a smart, kind, talented girlfriend who is also incredibly sexy and kinky as fuck who is one day going to be my wife and the mother of my children.”

“By the way, in my dream Friday night you were a total MILF,” he added as he leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on your lips before pulling back and giving you a wicked smirk.

“Tae!” you scolded with a laugh. “You can’t simultaneously dream about our children and about wanting to fuck me.”

“Sure I can,” he said, giving you a rather serious look. “That fact you were a hot mom that I wanted to fuck is obviously why we ended up with so many kids in the first place. Dream me clearly just couldn’t keep my hands off of dream you.”

“Ok well dream us clearly didn’t know about a little thing called contraception,” you replied jokingly.

“Speaking of which,” you continued, growing more serious and also slightly shy, “I’ve been thinking...maybe it’s time for me to go on birth control?”

“I just...it would make things easier and more convenient,” you went on nervously. “But, if you would prefer we keep using-”

“No,” he said breathlessly, cutting you off. “If you’re comfortable going on birth control then I’m absolutely on board.”

“I want to feel you, Jagi,” he continued, leaning his forehead against yours. “I don't want there to be anything between us when we make love.”

“OK,” you said quietly, overwhelmed by his incredibly supportive and romantic response. “I’ll make an appointment with my doctor.”

“OK,” he repeated with a little smile as he brought his lips to yours in a sweet kiss.

“I love you,” he then added softly as he pulled back and rubbed his nose against yours.

“I love you, too,” you replied, your heart absolutely overflowing with warmth and happiness.

This night may have begun as part of an elaborate plan to put Jisoo in her place and fend off her desperate attacks on you and your relationship, but it was ending on the tenderest of notes: Tae showing you, in yet another special, subtly meaningful way, just how much he loved you.

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Too Good To Be True - Ch. 45 | kth(m)

Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.

pairing: Taehyung x reader

genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: 18+

word count: 4.3k

warnings: cursing, implied sex

Chapter 45: Afternoon Delight

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When you woke up the following morning you were exhausted, sore, and happier than you had been in a very long time. Last night was gratifying in so many different ways. From a purely physical standpoint, it had been, without a doubt, the most pleasurable experience of your life. The energy between you and Tae was unlike anything you’d ever felt before; every touch, every kiss, every thrust sent a wave white-hot pleasure coursing through you. It was truly overwhelming, but in the absolute best sense of the word.

From an emotional standpoint, though, the events of last night were even more satisfying. It felt so good to take charge, to be vocal about your desires and confident in your actions. You wanted something and you went after it without second guessing yourself. In doing that, you had proven to yourself that you were strong and courageous and fierce.

If you wanted to fight Jisoo and protect the relationship you had worked so hard to build, those were precisely the qualities you were going to need to demonstrate.

Moving the covers aside, you realized just then that you weren’t wearing any clothes and neither was Tae. You two must have fallen asleep while cuddling before you had a chance to get dressed and ready for bed. Blushing slightly, you decided that you kind of liked sleeping like this and thought maybe you’d suggest to Tae that you do it more often.

As much as you wanted to stay there with him like that, a quick glance at your watch let you know you had both slept in much later than usual. You unfortunately needed to get up now or else you would definitely be late for work. Carefully slipping out of his grasp, you got up from bed and quickly threw on clothes. After washing your face and removing the remnants of your makeup, you padded into the kitchen in the pursuit of your second true love: coffee.

A little while later you were leaning against the counter, scrolling through Twitter while you waited for the coffee to brew. You were so engrossed in the captivatingly mindless activity that you didn’t even hear Tae enter the room. The beep from the coffee maker pulled your attention from your phone, but before you could move to grab a mug you felt his muscular arms wrap around you from behind. He slid his hands underneath the shirt you had on, settling one on your waist and splaying the other across your lower abdomen. With a gentle tug, he pulled you flush against him. As he began trailing little kisses down your neck, the hand on your lower abdomen slid down until his fingers met soft fabric.

“My shirt, no bra, skimpy pair of panties,” he mused, his breath hot on your neck. “If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were trying to seduce me.”

“Hmm I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you replied coyly, biting back a smile.

This was, of course, a blatant lie. You knew for a fact that few things turned Tae on more than the sight of you wearing his clothes.

“I don’t believe you, little minx,” he whispered in your ear, ignoring your feeble attempt at feigning innocence.

“I think you know exactly what you’re doing right now,” he went on as he gave your earlobe a soft bite. “Just like you knew exactly what you were doing when you sent me those naughty photos yesterday.”

Before you had a chance to respond, his lips returned to your neck. The hot, open mouth kisses he started placing there had you shuddering, but it was the sinful movement of his fingers that had your breath hitching. He’d dipped them just below the band of your panties and was running them back and forth in a teasing, tortuously slow rhythm.    

“I can’t stop thinking about last night,” he purred into your ear, the words dripping from his mouth like honey. “I can’t stop thinking about how stunning you looked in that lingerie or how badly I wanted you when I was tied up or how incredible you felt when I finally got to have you.”

“And right now, all I want to do is bend you over this counter and have you again,” he admitted as he pressed his hips forward, letting you feel every inch of his desire.

Momentarily forgetting that you were supposed to be the one in control right now, you spun around in his embrace and crashed your lips against his in a ravenous kiss which he immediately returned. A few seconds later, he picked you up in one swift motion and set you down on the counter, snaking his arms around you once more and pulling you impossibly close. As you continued devouring one another, he began slowly grinding into you, hungrily and greedily swallowing the soft whimpers he drew from you. Your mind was just starting to cloud over with lust when he broke the kiss for a breath of air and suddenly stopped the intoxicating movement of his hips.

“Fuck,” he breathed out, his eyes going wide when he took in your appearance for the first time that morning. “Sweetheart, I’m so sorry.”

“I didn’t mean to do this,” he went on guiltily, his fingers coming up to gently brush the numerous red and purple bruises that dotted your neck.

It wasn’t unusual for Tae to leave marks. He was, after all, rather possessive when you were intimate which you didn’t mind in the slightest. They typically weren’t this severe, though, and were usually in well-hidden places like your chest or inner thigh. You normally warned him if you felt him unknowingly lingering on your neck, collarbone, or any other easily visible part of your body, but last night you didn’t say a word. Last night, when his lips latched onto that sensitive spot just below your ear, you didn’t tell him to stop or push him away. You just let him keep going, softly sucking and biting until the evidence of his passion bloomed on your skin.

“Do they hurt?” he asked quietly, concern written all over his face as he gazed at you.

“Only a little,” you admitted with a tiny grimace.

He frowned apologetically in response and then brought his lips to your neck and placed barely-there kisses over the marks, soothing the tender skin. Eventually, he moved his lips up and along your jaw until they finally found yours. The kisses you then shared were deep and languid, full of longing. They were the kind you loved to get lost in and never wanted to end.

“Let me take you back to bed, Jagi,” he said softly, leaning his forehead against yours as his thumbs rubbed little circles on your inner thighs where a few more love bites were littered.

“Want to be with you,” he murmured. “Take care of you.”

The fire that had been rushing through him moments ago was gone now, but the passion still clearly remained. You could hear it in his voice, the neediness and desperation, the desire to be so close that he couldn’t tell where he ended and you began. You wanted nothing more than to give in, to let him carry you back to bed and make love to you, slowly and gently like you knew he would, but with every fiber of your being you fought that urge.

“Baby, we’re already running late for work,” you reminded him, running your hands through his hair as you spoke. “We don’t have time.”

“Come shower with me then?” he pleaded, bringing his head up and giving you a hopeful look.

“It will be more efficient,” he then stated matter-of-factly, the slightest smirk spreading across his face.

“That is a lie and you know it,” you said with a laugh. “It takes twice as long as it should whenever we shower together.”

“I like to be thorough when I wash you,” he replied simply, his tone casual.

“It wouldn’t take so long if you weren’t such a dirty girl,” he added a moment later, giving you a seductive lip bite and raised eyebrow, a clear last ditch attempt at luring you in.

You couldn’t stop yourself from blushing, but you rolled your eyes at him and shook your head to let him know his cheesy lines weren’t going to work.

“How about this,” you began as an idea suddenly came to you.

“If you be a good boy and go get ready for work now, we can do the photoshoot tonight,” you said, loving the way his eyes went wide at your proposal.

Last night, while the two of you were lying together in a sweaty heap, Tae had hesitantly asked if you would be willing to let him take photos of you in your lingerie. Tastefully erotic photos, he said they would be, ones that would be for his eyes only whenever you were apart and he wanted to be reminded of how exquisite you were. You were a little surprised by the question, but said yes without hesitation; you trusted him completely to keep such photos private. The idea of him wanting photos of you was flattering and honestly a huge turn on. It also only seemed fair given that you had the shirtless selfie he sent you that one time saved on your phone, a photo which you might have glanced at from time to time when you wanted to be reminded of how exquisite he was.

“Deal,” he all but growled, capturing your lips in a quick, but passionate kiss before letting go of you and sauntering off towards the bedroom. Just as he was about to round the corner of the hallway, he turned around, blew you a kiss, and gave you the biggest, boxiest, heart-melting smile.

~~~

You were not usually a spiteful person.

You did not typically take joy in the suffering of others.

You did not truly believe that two wrongs made a right.

However, you simply could not deny the satisfaction and glee you felt later that morning when you rubbed your fluffy, smutty, very real and still perfectly intact relationship in Jisoo’s smug face.

It was just before noon and you were alone with Tae in the studio doing the second fitting for his Big Hit family photoshoot outfit. The shirt and jacket had been just a little bit too snug when he first tried them on a couple weeks ago, no doubt the consequence of him continuing to frequent the Big Hit gym. Having to do a little extra work by letting them out was a price you were absolutely willing to pay, though. You were completely whipped for Tae’s bulging arm muscles, especially when he used them to carry you to the bedroom and throw you down onto the bed.

Everyone else had already finished their fittings and headed out to lunch, but you had purposefully been dragging it out, wanting to still be working with Tae when Jisoo showed up so they could go to the café together like they did every Monday. Tae admitted once that it drove him crazy when you ran your hands all over him during fittings. He said he’d gotten relatively good at keeping it together and not getting too turned on over the last three years, but that his self-restraint had gone completely out the window once you started dating. It was just impossible, he admitted, not to let his mind wander to filthy places when you were touching him with the same hands that tugged at his hair when he pleasured you with his mouth and clawed at his back when he made love to you.

For this reason, you were normally extremely careful about keeping your touches strictly professional, but today you were making no such effort. Knowing he was already worked up from this morning and wanting to tease him further, you let your hands roam a little more freely and linger a little longer than usual. As subtle as you tried to be, though, he instantly picked up on what you were doing.

“You’re killing me right now, sweetheart,” he whispered as you smoothed your hands over his chest to get out the wrinkles.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” you asked sweetly, gazing up at him with big doe eyes.

“You heard me,” he muttered under his breath as he looked down at you with a dark, hungry expression on his face. “You know what you’re doing right now.”

For a few moments you two just stared at each other until eventually you gave him a tiny smirk and looked away.

“You don’t like when I touch you?” you teased quietly as you checked the fit of the waistband of his slacks, brushing your fingers dangerously close to somewhere they definitely shouldn’t be.

“Jagi, fuck,” he groaned.

“I am about two seconds away from dragging you into the dressing room and taking you up against the wall,” he admitted, his voice hushed as he leaned in slightly.

“I’ll put this in that pretty mouth of yours so no one hears you moaning my name,” he growled as he tugged on the scarf you were wearing to hide the hickeys, the same one which you just so happened to use to tie him up with last night.

“I think I’d like that,” you whispered back before giving him a seductive lip bite.

Just then, Jisoo suddenly waltzed into the studio. It was honestly probably for the best that she chose to show up at that precise moment; things had gotten entirely too steamy between you and Tae just now. In your attempt to send him into a lust-driven frenzy, you had failed to acknowledge the effect such an endeavor would have on yourself. The truth was, last night had ruined both of you. With all the teasing you two had done so far today, you were legitimately struggling not to drag him into the dressing room and do a number of scandalous, highly unprofessional things with him.

Glancing over Tae’s shoulder, you found Jisoo wearing a confused and disdainful expression as she took in the sight before her. The two of you were standing awfully close together, gazing at each other lustfully. You were looking very much like two people who had definitely not fought and possibly even broken up over the weekend which is what you can only imagine she hoped to accomplish with her poisonous words on Friday.

“Hi TaeTae,” she said brightly, plastering the fakest smile on her face.

“Hi Jisoo,” Tae replied absentmindedly, not taking his eyes off of you as he licked his lips, clearly still reeling from the intense moment you’d shared just before she arrived.

“Are you ready to go to lunch?” she then asked as she came and stood next to you.

“Hmm?” he replied confusedly as he finally tore his gaze away from you and glanced at her.

“Oh, right. Lunch,” he then said, shaking his head to clear what you knew were some very filthy thoughts.

“Are we done with the fitting, sweetheart?” he asked, the pet name accidentally falling from his perfect lips as he turned back towards you.

You did not miss the way Jisoo’s face scrunched up in distaste upon hearing him call you that. In that moment, it suddenly dawned on you why Tae had likely started also calling you this new, sweet name. He unfortunately had to call Jisoo ‘Jagi’ because that’s the pet name he let slip on national television. You would always be his true ‘Jagi’, but while he was fake dating Jisoo, he wanted you to have a special name that was only for you. Upon realizing this, and noting yet another way he had gone about demonstrating his love, you felt affection bloom uncontrollably in your chest.

“We are,” you replied, raking your eyes down his body in the most unprofessional of ways. “Everything fits perfectly. You look very handsome, as usual.”

“But, please lay off the weights between now and Saturday,” you added flirtatiously. “I won’t have time to alter these again if you keep bulking up.”

He didn’t say anything in response to that, just smirked and wiggled his eyebrows at you suggestively, knowing full-well the absolute last thing you actually wanted was for him to stop lifting.

“Alright, go change,” you said with a laugh.

As he walked away towards the dressing room, you found yourself alone again with Jisoo for the first time since she had deliberately tried to sabotage your relationship. You were still disgusted and frustrated with her, but you were suddenly having some second thoughts about your plan. Maybe it was enough for her just to have seen you and Tae flirting and realized that her attempt to come between you had failed. You wanted to put her in her place, but flat out embarrassing her might be a bit too much. At least, that’s what you thought...until she opened her mouth again.

“I see you’re still pathetically desperate to stay with him,” she sneered. “Even though it’s obvious he doesn't really want you.”

Oh, it’s on bitch.

“I don’t know,” you mused, pretending to actually contemplate what she had said. “He seemed to want me last night.”

As you spoke, you casually removed your scarf, giving Jisoo a full view of your neck, in all it’s colorful, passionate glory. The look on her face when she saw the hickeys was absolutely delicious; her eyes went wide as saucers and her mouth hung open.

“If you think these are bad, you should see the ones on my inner thigh,” you said innocently as you gently ran your fingers over the marks.

She audibly scoffed and rolled her eyes at your remarks, but you could just tell that she was pissed to have been so boldly presented with the proof of your intimate night with Tae.

“I’ve got some bruises on my hips too, but those were from him holding so tightly,” you went on casually, knowing you didn’t need to elaborate in order for her to understand exactly why he was gripping you like that.

“As fantastic as he was in bed, though, the best part of the weekend was definitely him calling me his future wife and mother of his children,” you then said honestly.

While Jisoo stood there, momentarily stunned by everything you had just unleashed upon her, you whipped out your phone and sent Tae a text which you were certain would catch his attention.

[11:53 AM] What would you say if I told you I wanted leftovers from last night’s delicious meal for lunch today?

[Taehyung 11:53 AM] I would tell you to get in your car right now and drive straight home.

[Taehyung 11:53 AM] So I can meet you there and serve them to you over and over again until you are satisfied.

[11:54 AM] I want them.

[11:54 AM] I need them.

[Taehyung 11:54 AM] You’re going to get them, sweetheart.

[Taehyung 11:54 AM] Meet me at home in 20 minutes.

“He was insatiable last night,” you then added, smiling at her as you looked up from your phone. “In fact, I think he’s still hungry for more.”

A moment later, Tae came out of the dressing room and started back towards you two. He looked slightly disheveled, the result of hastily throwing his clothes back on, and his hair was adorably messy. There was a deliciously dark gleam in his eyes and the faintest smirk upon his lips.

“Hey, I’m sorry but I just realized I have to run home real quick,” he said to Jisoo once he had reached the two of you. “I...uhh, forgot something.”

“But, we’re supposed to have lunch together today,” she said back, her tone one of obvious annoyance as she looked at him incredulously.

“We’ll have lunch tomorrow,” he promised as he put on his coat.

“Besides, people already saw us getting tea together at the café this morning,” he added, giving her a friendly smile. “So we’ve put on our show for the day.”

Tae reminding her that their ‘relationship’ was all for show was the absolute icing on the cake. She was seething as she glared back at him, but he was completely oblivious to her displeasure.

Since no one else would have been there to see it, he didn’t even bother to give her a goodbye hug or kiss. He just said bye and gave her a small wave. Before turning to leave, he leaned in real quick and whispered in your ear, ‘See you soon, Jagi’, shot you a wink and a devilish grin, and then quickly left the room.

As soon he was out of sight, you threw on your own coat and began packing up your bag. You thought maybe you should say something else to Jisoo, but ultimately decided against it. She knew exactly what was going on, knew Tae had clearly chosen you over her just now. At this point, there was nothing more that needed to be said. You had won.

“He’s lying to you,” she said darkly just as you were beginning to walk away.

You stilled, letting her words wash over you for just a moment before you shoved them aside and kept walking

“And, you’re lying to yourself,” you replied calmly, not even bothering to look back at her.

~~~

Approximately 20 minutes later, you were tangled with Tae beneath the sheets of your bed, your clothes strewn on the floor in a trail that started in the foyer and ended in the bedroom. He had gotten home before you and had been anxiously waiting there for you. The second you closed the apartment door he was on you, pinning you against it and capturing your lips in a hungry kiss. He roughly pulled your shirt up and off and from there the situation quickly devolved into delightfully filthy chaos.

“Jagi, you’ve ruined me once again,” Tae said afterwards, still breathing heavily as he turned to face you. “I’m going to want leftovers for lunch every day now.”

“They are incredibly delicious,” you said coyly, leaning over and giving him a kiss on the cheek.

“But, people would definitely notice if we just so happened to both take a long lunch every day only to come back basking in a post-sex afterglow,” you then added with a laugh.

“That is true,” he agreed glumly as an adorable pout spread across his face.

“They are also going to notice if we don’t get back soon,” you said after a few moments, gently extracting yourself from his sweaty embrace.

“You're right,” he sighed. "We should get going."

“I’m going to take a quick shower first,” he then said, planting a kiss on your forehead before rising from the bed and heading towards the bathroom.

After watching him walk away, and shamelessly admiring his incredibly cute butt in the process, you grabbed your phone off the bedside table to check your email. A few minutes later you were reading through one Mrs. Choi had just sent out about the upcoming photoshoot when you heard Tae’s phone buzzing from the pocket of his pants that were laying on the floor. It rang several times, stopped, and then immediately started ringing again. After climbing out of bed and fishing it out of the pocket, you glanced down at the screen and saw Jimin’s name.

“Tae, Jimin is calling,” you said as you walked into the bathroom where he was still showering.

“Shit,” you heard him mutter. “I was supposed to meet him at 12:30 to help him with a song he wants to record.”

“Can you text him and let him know I’ll be a little late?” he then asked.

“Yea, sure thing,” you replied before heading back into the bedroom.

Entering in Tae’s password and navigating to his messages, you tapped on Jimin’s name and texted a quick, ‘Running late. Be there around 1. Sorry!’. You were just about to set his phone down on the bed beside you when something suddenly caught your eye. A few rows down from the message thread with Jimin was a thread with a contact name that was simply the letter ‘J’. The cryptic name had caused a little knot to form in your stomach, but it was the most recent message this person had sent that instantly had your blood running cold.

Can’t wait to finish what we started 😉

Hating yourself for being that girlfriend who was so insecure that she stooped to the level of snooping, but feeling in your gut that something just wasn’t right, you clicked on that fateful message.

Yesterday

[J 1:29 PM] Are you still stopping by later today?

[Taehyung 1:31 PM] Yea. I’ll be there around 3:00.

[J 1:35 PM] Sounds good. Text me when you’re here and I’ll let you in the back door.

[Taehyung 3:05 PM] Here.

Today

[Taehyung 8:17 AM] Sorry I had to leave so quickly yesterday.

[Taehyung 8:18 AM] I had to take care of something.

[Taehyung 8:19 AM] When can I come by again?

[J 8:20 AM] Friday evening?

[Taehyung 8:21 AM] Works for me.

[J 8:22 AM] Great. I’ll see you then.

[J 8:23 AM] Can’t wait to finish what we started 😉

This time there was no mistaking it. There was nothing to have accidentally forgotten. There was no other possible explanation. The proof was right in front of you sitting heavily in the palm of your shaking hand.

Yesterday afternoon, Tae lied to you.

He lied about where he was.

He lied about who he was with.

He lied about what he was doing.

Jisoo was right.

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Too Good To Be True - Ch. 46 | kth(m)

Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.

pairing: Taehyung x reader

genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: 18+

word count: 3.2k

warnings: none

Chapter 46: Lying To Yourself - Part 1

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You stood there frozen, your feet rooted to the spot by the crushing weight of the revelation you held in your hand. From the bathroom came the unmistakable sound of Tae singing none other than ‘Sweet Night’, but you sadly found no comfort in the loving words he sang in his rich, baritone voice. Why? Because that same voice blatantly lied to you yesterday and probably last week too, you now realized. Although your mind was currently racing with a million unanswered questions, there was one that clearly stood out above all the rest:

Who was ‘J’?

The answer which immediately came to mind was the most heartbreaking one imaginable: that it was Jisoo. After all, she was the one who pointed out Tae’s ‘forgetfulness’ last week and who also, less than an hour ago, uttered those words which you once thought to be complete nonsense and now realized were frighteningly true:

He’s lying to you.

However, it occurred to you a second later that Tae already had her number saved in his phone under her full name. You had seen it yourself when he showed you his text conversation with her last Sunday. After quickly going back to the list of messages, you found the one with her name a few rows up. Tapping on it, you saw all of their most recent exchanges which were incredibly mundane and transactional.

‘I’m in the parking garage.’

‘Meet you at the café in 10.’

‘Heading to your studio now.’

You momentarily relaxed before it dawned on you that ‘J’ could still be Jisoo texting from another phone. That seemed a bit unbelievable, but up until five minutes ago the idea that Tae had lied about what he did yesterday would have seemed unbelievable too. The ease with which he had led you to believe he was going to the dorms to see the guys was alarming, as was how elaborate his cover up was. He had gone so far as to fabricate an entire conversation he had with them about why he had to leave before ‘dinner’ started.

It made you nauseous to know that you had sent those photos of yourself to him without knowing where he was or what he was doing. But, it made you absolutely sick that you had then allowed yourself to be so physically and emotionally vulnerable with him once he came home. Knowing he had lied and then been intimate with you like that just made you feel so betrayed.

Looking around the very room where you had done those intimate things together and shared those intimate words, you were suddenly overcome with an intense urge to flee, to get as far away from here and him as humanly possible.

So that’s what you did. You fled.

As you sprinted through the apartment, hastily throwing on the clothes you found strewn on the floor as you went, you tried to wrap your head around just how quickly everything had fallen apart. Ten minutes ago you were on top of the world after putting Jisoo in her place and now here you were utterly flailing, questioning everything that had once seemed so certain. You felt so embarrassed, truly mortified, to have put on that show for her only to discover now that she was right: Tae was lying to you.

What exactly he was lying about remained to be seen, but it was clear what Jisoo wanted you to think it was. She had not-so-subtly alluded to it last Friday. Over the weekend you had convinced yourself that she was full of shit, but those texts made it so much harder to continue believing that. You simply could not deny how your stomach churned every time you thought about the last message ‘J’ had sent.

Can’t wait to finish what we started 😉

The rest of their conversation had been very ordinary, almost business-like, but that message changed the tone entirely. It was so overtly suggestive that it was impossible to read those words and not imagine the worst. And that’s exactly what you were doing right now: imagining the worst.

Tae secretly going to her apartment yesterday afternoon. The two of them together on the couch, her straddling him and grinding against him as his hands wandered over her body and they devoured each other. How they might have been just moments away from moving to the bedroom when your texts interrupted them. How he would have sighed in frustration when he realized he’d have to go home and ‘take care of you’ so you wouldn’t be suspicious. How much he was probably looking forward to going back to her on Friday so they could ‘finish what they started’ and go all the way.

The thought of Tae cheating on you made your heart ache with such excruciating pain that by the time you reached the apartment door you were sobbing and hyperventilating. You didn’t know where you were going to go or what you were going to do. All you knew was that you needed to go somewhere, do something to make the hurting stop.

Your hand was literally on the doorknob, about to turn it so you could make your escape, when suddenly you felt your phone vibrate in your back pocket. Pulling it out, you realized that it actually wasn’t your phone, but Tae’s. In your haste to flee the apartment, you had accidentally taken it with you instead of your own. Unable to contain your curiosity, you glanced down at the screen through tear-filled eyes to find a new message from Jimin.

[Jimin 12:38 PM] Sounds good. Also, as soon as you get here I want to hear how yesterday went. You never texted me afterwards!

Upon reading those words, the vice that had been steadily tightening around your lungs and threatening to suffocate you loosened ever so slightly. Closing your eyes and relaxing your shoulders, you allowed yourself to breathe a tiny, hesitant sigh of relief. Jimin was one of the most kind, loyal, wonderful people you had ever met in your entire life. Tae loved and respected him more than anyone in the whole world. If Jimin knew what Tae was doing, and was asking about it all excitedly, then there was no way it involved Jisoo in an inappropriate way.

Right?

With this new piece of the puzzle in place, you began considering all new possibilities for what Tae might be doing and why he might not be telling you about it. Maybe it was something Jimin or one of the other guys asked him to keep private. Maybe it was something BTS-related that he wasn’t able to share with you yet. Maybe it was something about his upcoming mixtape. Maybe he wrote you another song that was meant to be a surprise. Maybe it was your Christmas present. Whatever it was, if Jimin was on board with it then it must be OK.

Right?

You were pulled from your thoughts when you heard the sound of little footsteps coming up behind you. Turning around, you were met with the sight of Tannie staring up at you with his adorably angry eyes. As you looked down at him, you had a flashback to the day you overheard Tae in the kitchen on the phone. You remembered how truly devastated he was when he realized you had allowed yourself to believe he was using you for sex. You remembered how broken he looked as he laid there beside you, the way his tears slowly trickled down his beautiful face. You remembered that you had almost ruined everything by accusing him of something without knowing all the facts.

Were you now about to make that exact same mistake? Were you jumping to conclusions, yet again, and letting your fears and Jisoo’s manipulative words cloud your judgement? Or, were your worries and suspicions valid? Should you tell Tae you went through his messages and confront him about what you discovered, a choice which would almost certainly reveal that you were questioning his faithfulness? Or, should you say nothing? Should you trust that whatever he was doing and whatever reasons he had for not telling you about it, he loved you unconditionally, was wholly committed to your relationship, and would never do anything to hurt you?

The weight of all of those unanswered questions was absolutely crushing. It was all just too much. You were so terribly confused, so painfully conflicted. Every choice you considered making somehow seemed to be the wrong one. No matter what you did, someone would get hurt. You just felt so trapped. Trapped by your contract and the forbidden nature of your relationship. Trapped by the fake dating cover and your dependency on Jisoo. Trapped by your own insecurity and inability to understand or communicate your thoughts and feelings.  

Slumping against the door and sliding down to the floor in a heap, you let out a strangled, frustrated sob. Tannie immediately picked up on your distress, climbed onto your lap, and began trying to comfort you with kisses.

“I don’t know what to do, Tannie,” you cried into his fur as you held him close. “I just don’t know what to do.”

After sitting there with him for a few more minutes, you ultimately came to the realization that you were not in the right state of mind to make any sort of decision about what to do moving forward. At the moment, you were totally overwhelmed and not thinking straight, still reeling from the roller coaster of emotions you’d experienced in the last hour. What you needed more than anything was to take a step back and get yourself together. You needed time and space to think through everything and figure out how you really felt before you said or did something you might one day regret.

Slowly, you got up off the floor and quietly crept back to the bedroom to find Tae miraculously still in the shower. You dropped his phone down onto the bed, grabbed your own, and then opened the bathroom door just a bit. Speaking through the crack so he couldn’t see your tear stained face, you told him Eunji had called saying Mrs. Choi was looking for you and that you needed to head back immediately. He bought your lie easily, saying it was actually a good idea for you to return at different times. You said goodbye, told him you loved him, and then left for Big Hit.

You spent the rest of the day on edge and in a daze, trying desperately to sort through the tangled mess inside your head. Tae was busy with meetings and rehearsal which you were so thankful for; there was absolutely no way you would be able to keep it together if he was there with you in the studio. Although you held back any tears that threatened to fall, you spent all afternoon teetering on the edge of a breakdown. Several times Mrs. Choi came over to you asking if everything was OK and each time you replied with the same, ‘I’m fine’. You got the sense she wasn’t buying it, but thankfully she did not press you further.

As the initial shock of discovering Tae’s deception began to slowly wear off, you found you were able to think more rationally about the situation. With every passing second, your belief that Jisoo was the true root of the problem grew stronger. While there was no way for her to have known you would stumble upon that text conversation, you had no doubt she was hoping you would catch Tae in a lie at some point and get the wrong idea. The fact that she knew he was working on something private and was manipulating the situation to make it seem like he was cheating was truly sickening. Her behavior demonstrated a whole new level of cruelty, one that was incredibly disturbing and honestly frightening.

There was a part of you that wanted to tell Tae about Jisoo’s scheming, but deep down you were still terrified that doing so might do more harm than good. Other than the night of your nightmare, Tae had never once acknowledged that anything he did as part of the fake dating cover could lead you to question his faithfulness. Did that not occur to him because the idea of cheating was something he couldn’t even fathom? Could he truly be so committed and devoted to you, so trusting in your love and the strength of your relationship, that it never even crossed his mind that you might have doubts? You wanted so desperately for that to be true and the more you thought about Tae’s genuine, innocent nature, the more convinced you were that it was.

It was for this very reason, though, that you were so weary of even hinting at this devastating accusation. If you leveled it against him, you could never take it back. There was not a doubt in your mind that it would crush him to know you’d had these terrible thoughts about him. Even if Jisoo was the one who put them there in the first place, you still feared he might never be able to look at you the same if you told him. You feared he would forever doubt your trust in him and that your relationship would never fully recover.

Despite all that, though, you could not ignore the flickers of doubt and fear that lingered all afternoon in the dark corners of your mind. They were there, threatening to derail your every thought, and you knew they would remain there until you spoke with Tae about what he was hiding. By the time you got home you had finally come to a decision about what to do. You would take the rest of the week to settle down and then confront him on Friday, the next time he went to meet with ‘J’. You wouldn’t mention Jisoo or the texts, you would just ask him point blank where he was really going, give him a chance to explain, and hope that the conversation that followed would put to rest any of your remaining worries.

All you needed to do was just stay calm and act natural until then. You needed to take time to think through what you wanted to say to Tae and how you wanted to say it. That way you could relay your thoughts and concerns without accusing him, hurting him, and making the situation worse. If you could just kept it together for the next few days and have a rational discussion with him on Friday, everything would be OK.

Sadly, though, you soon came to realize just how difficult a task that would prove to be. 

When Tae got home a little while later, you were in the bedroom about to change out of your work clothes. You were so lost in thought, once again pondering the days’ unsettling events, that you didn’t hear him come into the room. Before you even knew what was happening, he was wrapping his arms around you from behind in an intimate embrace.

“Is my muse ready?” he hummed in your ear before placing a little kiss on your neck.

The instant you felt his touch, you flinched. It wasn’t subtle either; your entire body violently recoiled. A second later, as your mind involuntarily filled with awful thoughts of where else his hands and lips might have been, you instinctively stepped forward and tore yourself away from him. For the next few moments you just stood there, eyes screwed shut as you tried to calm your racing heart. You truly had not meant to react that way, but you just couldn’t help it. The heartbreaking truth, a truth which was so hard to admit to yourself, but impossible to deny, was that the first thing you felt when he touched you like that was panic.

Your unease grew exponentially when you realized what he was referring to when he called you his ‘muse’: the photoshoot in your lingerie. Just this morning you had been as eager as he was to do it, but after everything that had happened today, and with all of the questions and doubts still swirling in your head, the idea of being that vulnerable with him was just unthinkable. What was even more distressing, though, was that the very thought of being intimate with him in any capacity made you unbearably uncomfortable.

Slowly turning to face him, you found him wearing a completely shocked and undeniably wounded expression. At the sight of him standing there, looking so broken, your heart plummeted in your chest. You hated yourself for hurting him, the man you loved and wanted to spend the rest of your life with, but the feelings inside you right now were so overwhelming they just couldn’t be ignored. There were no two ways around it; you didn’t trust him right now. Not fully, not like you once did, not enough to give yourself to him again.

“Jagi?” he asked quietly as he looked at you expectantly.

“I-I’m sorry,” you stammered out, praying he couldn’t tell how nervous you were right now. “You just surprised me.”

“And, I’m...I’m just not feeling that well right now,” you then added weakly.

It was a blatant lie, but you had no idea what else to say. You were confused and terrified by your own feelings, and were nowhere near ready to try and talk about them, but you needed some sort of explanation for what was happening.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” he asked tenderly, his expression instantly morphing to one of concern.

“I have a headache and I feel a little nauseous,” you said hesitantly, hating yourself more and more with every insincere word that left your lips.

“When did this start?” he then questioned, the worry now deeply etched on his face.

“This afternoon,” you replied as you averted your eyes from his intense gaze.

“I'll be fine,” you then added, trying to diffuse the situation. “I just need to rest a little.”

He was quiet for a few moments as he studied you rather intently, his dark eyes searching yours as a look of slight suspicion flashed across his face. For a split second you thought he was going to call you out and ask what was really wrong, but then his expression softened.

“OK, if you’re sure,” was all he finally said as he tentatively brought his hands up to rest on your upper arms.

It took an enormous amount of self control, but you didn’t shudder at his touch. As he began gently rubbing his thumbs back and forth, you tried to relax and allow yourself to be comforted by the gesture that you knew was meant to be soothing.

“Why don’t you put on some comfy clothes and get cozy on the couch?” he then suggested. “I’ll make you dinner and then we can cuddle and watch something?”

“OK,” you agreed with a tight-lipped smile. “That sounds good”.

He gave you a hesitant smile in return before leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. Blinking back tears as you watched him then turn around and walk away, you tried to convince yourself that everything was going to be OK. These feelings you had towards him were just temporary. They were the lingering effects of your body’s earlier flight or fight response, but they would subside.

Right?

‘This is Tae, my Tae’, you told yourself as a single tear escaped and rolled down your cheek.

He loves me.

I love him.

We’ll be OK.

Right?

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Too Good To Be True - Ch. 47 | kth(m)

Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.

pairing: Taehyung x reader

genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: 18+

word count: 5.8k

warnings: none

A/N: The long ass chapter was unanimously voted for so here it is! I hope you enjoy. Also, I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear your thoughts and reactions and predictions :)

Chapter 47: Lying To Yourself - Part 2

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There are moments in your life that you know without question you will never forget. They are indelible, monumental ones with profound and lasting effects, ones during which everything changes and after which you know you will never be the same.

The moment in your backyard when your mom told you her diagnosis was one.

The moment on the beach when Tae first called you his and kissed your temple was another.

The moment in your bedroom when you unconsciously recoiled from him was the most recent.

The panic and unease that you felt when he touched you subsided by the time he left the room, but by then the damage had already been done. The look on his face after you pulled away from him had caused a fracture somewhere deep down in your heart. From it emanated a dull, throbbing ache that reverberated throughout every corner of your body right down to the very core of your being. Tae was the love of your life. He was one day going to be your husband and father of your children. He was your home.

But you had let things get so bad, had kept so many secrets and let your mental health deteriorate to such an extent that, for the briefest of moments, you had been afraid of him.

Feelings of immense shame and deep regret began welling up inside you almost instantly and only intensified as the night progressed and Tae showered you with a level of love and attention that you felt wholly undeserving of.

He made one of his grandmother’s recipes for dinner, one he said she always made for him whenever he wasn’t feeling well. Once he was done, he didn’t call you into the kitchen, he brought a plate to you right there in the living room. After settling in behind you on the couch with your back to his chest, he proceeded to feed you with one hand and hold you close with the other. As if that wasn’t adorable enough, he spent the whole time saying sweet things like, ‘Have to take care of my Jagi’ and ‘Want my sweetheart to feel better’. Later on, after you had watched several episodes of your show and were starting to drift off, he carried you to bed and tucked you in.

The flood of guilt that poured down upon you that night as you tried and failed to fall asleep nearly drowned you. Tae had given you everything. Not just that night, but every night and every day since that moment on the beach. He had shown you over and over again how much he loved and respected and cherished you, but still you let in doubts about him, stomping all over his unwavering support and commitment with your unfounded mistrust and suspicion.

Yes, you were in a unique, complicated, and stressful situation by dating Tae in secret and having a fake dating cover. Yes, you were being harassed and manipulated by a selfish, conniving bitch who was clearly determined to ruin your relationship. But, at the end of the day, you were ultimately the one to blame for your life’s current state of disrepair.

You didn’t speak up.

You didn’t ask for help.

You didn’t take control of your own life.

As you laid there in Tae’s arms, the faint, but steady panging in your chest a cruel reminder of the hurt you had caused to you both, your mind latched onto a small flicker of hope.

It’s not too late to fix this.

Right?

~~~

Monday night you had lied when you said you didn’t feel well, but over the course of the next few days you found yourself feeling legitimately ill as you toiled over how to fix the mess you had created. Your head hurt all the time, no doubt from the turbulent thoughts that endlessly swirled through your mind. You felt nauseous when you remembered the awful things you’d allowed yourself to imagine or thought about how close you’d been to ruining everything. Your body ached from head to toe, though, nothing hurt quite as much as your heart. And, you were tired, so, very tired.

You knew these physical symptoms were psychosomatic, mere manifestations of the emotional stress you were experiencing, but Tae didn’t and immediately went into concerned, protective boyfriend mode. Whenever he asked what you thought might be wrong you said you just felt off and not like yourself which was technically the truth. You told him not to worry, though, and that you were sure you would feel better soon which was also the truth. At the end of the week, once you talked to him and made a plan for how to move forward together, you would feel better.

However, your reassurances unfortunately did nothing to quell his worries. He spent all week fretting about your health and doting on you, making sure you were comfortable and taken care of at all times. Around the apartment, he didn’t let you lift a finger. Despite your protests, he insisted on doing all the cooking and cleaning and laundry. He was also extremely physically affectionate, giving you shoulder massages and endless forehead kisses and all the cuddles, but he thankfully didn’t push for any kind of intimacy. Although the thought of it no longer made you uncomfortable, you wanted to wait until after you talked to be with him again.

He kept pleading for you to stay home from work and rest and even began threatening to tell Mrs. Choi that you were pushing yourself through sickness. You assured him it wasn’t that serious and that you were fine to keep working, but made an appointment with your doctor for next week anyway to appease him. It had been your plan to eventually make one anyway to discuss birth control options so the timing worked out.

While at work he was more affectionate and protective than ever before. Every day, he left one of your favorite dark chocolate truffles on the counter next to the ‘Best Friend Tata’ along with a secret, sweet note. When Mrs. Choi asked you to bring up some boxes from the storage closet downstairs, he offered to go with you and then refused to let you take any, carrying all three up by himself. He reminded you to stay hydrated throughout the day and refilled your water bottle every time it was close to empty. He even once accidentally gave your back an affectionate rub after you casually mentioned it was sore which thankfully no one saw.

All week long Jisoo seemed to be an afterthought to him, that is, if he even remembered at all that they were supposed to ‘dating’. He skipped all his cafe lunches with her and instead opted to eat with you in the break room. Clearly not wanting to leave your side unless absolutely necessary, he never went over to her studio. The few times she came to visit your studio, he paid her little mind and instead kept his focus on you, periodically asking how you were feeling or if there was anything you needed.

Although your original plan of purposefully rubbing your relationship in Jisoo’s face had gone out the window after the whole ‘J’ text message discovery, you realized partway through the week that Tae was unintentionally doing it anyway. Her displeasure over his lack of attention to her was deliciously obvious to you and the fact that he didn’t notice whatsoever made it all the sweeter. If him skipping lunch with her to have sex with you was winning the battle, then him basically forgetting about her existence because he was so concerned for your well-being was definitely winning the war.

You felt somewhat guilty for not telling him the real reason why you weren’t feeling well and for keeping him at arm’s length, but the space you created for yourself by doing so gave you some much-needed perspective regarding your current situation and its implications for your future together. Originally, you just wanted to confront him about what it was that he was hiding, but it dawned on you Monday night that doing so would only be addressing the symptom of a greater problem: the lack of trust and stability in your relationship. As the week progressed, and you thought through all that had happened and everything you were feeling, you eventually came to several crucial, long-overdue realizations.

By Tuesday, you knew you needed to come clean about everything you had been bottling up this past month. You were concealing your true feelings so as not to hurt him, but concealing your true feelings was causing him pain anyway. The longer you went without sharing them, the more damage they would cause when they inevitably spilled out. It would be painful for you both to talk about your deep-seated insecurities and the ways in which he had inadvertently hurt you, but together you would heal and your relationship would be that much stronger.

By Wednesday, you knew you needed to put an end to the fake dating immediately. Tae was fake dating Jisoo to protect your relationship, but fake dating Jisoo was putting your relationship in even greater danger than before. She had proven she could not be trusted and that her intentions were purely selfish. She was a deadly, toxic leech and it was clear she would keep taking from you until there was nothing left if given the chance. If Bang PD or anyone else still had doubts after they broke up, so be it. That was a risk you were willing to take to get her out of your life and take away the power she currently had over you.

By Thursday, though, you had come to the biggest, most consequential realization of all. You were at your station getting ready to head home for the day when Eunji and Donghae came over. You assumed they were coming over to gossip or just say goodbye…until you noticed they were holding hands. In hindsight, you shouldn’t have been surprised to learn they were dating. There had always been a little spark between them. You had always felt ever-so-slightly like a third wheel when you were all together.

Truly, though, you couldn’t be happier for them; they made a great couple. The excitement radiating off of them was contagious, and you found your mood lifting instantly just seeing them beam at one another all sappily. However, it was something Eunji said that had the most profound effect on you.

‘It just feels so good to say it out loud and not have to hide it anymore.'

That was the precise moment when you finally accepted a truth you had been avoiding for days: you needed to leave Big Hit. You were keeping your relationship a secret so you could be together, but keeping your relationship a secret was tearing you apart. You had come to this conclusion once before only to have Tae then convince you otherwise. His heart was absolutely in the right place when he did so, and you did not fault him for trying to preserve what seemed to be the ideal situation, but you knew now that the dream of being with him at Big Hit and with him was just too good to be true.

Sneaking around, keeping secrets, lying to everyone. You simply could not keep living like that for the next five plus years. It wasn’t healthy. It wasn’t safe. It wasn’t fair. The truth, you now realized, was that you needed more. You both deserved more. You didn't deserve to have to keep things hidden, to be made to feel like your love was shameful and what you were doing was wrong. You deserved to be in a relationship where you felt secure, one where you could openly give and receive all the love and support you needed.

You leaving Big Hit would certainly present new challenges to your relationship, but if Tae loved you like you thought he did, he would understand it was truly the right decision. If you wanted that beautiful future he told you about - the kids, the big house in the countryside, the happily ever after - then this was a sacrifice that needed to be made.

Coming to all of these realizations had been a difficult and emotionally draining process, but you knew that sharing them with Tae was going to be even harder. No matter how carefully you chose your words, no matter how calmly you spoke, he was going to get extremely upset. For that reason, you thought long and hard about when to have this big, life-changing conversation.

Originally, you had planned to talk to him tomorrow before he met up with ‘J’, but he had actually not yet mentioned that he was going anywhere. If he wasn’t going out after all, you thought it might be best to wait until after the Big Hit family photoshoot on Saturday; dropping this bomb the night before seemed rather cruel. However, when you remembered that Jisoo was going to be there, and that she was going to be putting on a big show with Tae for Bang PD, you knew you couldn’t wait. You had to talk to him tomorrow.

You were looking forward to relaxing and enjoying this last evening with him before everything changed, but as soon as you got home from work you noticed Tae was a little off. He was strangely quiet throughout all of dinner and then only grew more withdrawn once you started cuddling on the couch watching Netflix. You were just about to ask him what was wrong when he suddenly paused the episode you were watching.

For the next few minutes he didn’t say anything, but you swear you could just hear him thinking. Eventually, he gently turned you around in his arms so you were facing him. The way he was nervously biting his lips and fidgeting his hands on your waist instantly set off alarm bells in your head. He looked so scared right now and your immediate thought was that he somehow knew what you were planning to tell him tomorrow.

“Jagi, the reason why you aren’t feeling well...is it because...are you…,” he began apprehensively before his voice trailed off.

You waited anxiously for him to finish that sentence and admit he somehow knew you had spent all week having an existential crisis which ultimately resulted in your decision to leave Big Hit. Taking a slow, deep breath, he gave you one last searching look before continuing.

“A-Are you pregnant?” he finally asked in a shaky, breathy voice.

Upon hearing his words, your eyes went wide. That was the absolute last thing you thought he was going to ask you.

“It’s just...I know it can happen even when you use protection and you brought up birth control for the first time on Sunday and now you’re suddenly feeling nauseous and achy and exhausted without any other explanation,” he rushed out.

“I can’t help but wonder if you took a test after we talked and found out you are, but that you’re afraid to tell me because you think I’ll be upset and not want you to keep it,” he then added, the hurt in his voice unmistakable.

“I know it would be really overwhelming and even a little scary if you were, but it hurts me to think that you wouldn’t want to tell me,” he went on, now getting a bit emotional. “That you think I wouldn’t be supportive.”

“Because the truth is, if you told me right now that you were pregnant I would be the happiest man in the world,” he said softly.

“I always saw us starting our family in the next few years before I went into the military so if we unintentionally got a head start that would be perfectly OK,” he then admitted with a hesitant smile.

“I would take care of you, sweetheart,” he added earnestly as he cupped your cheek with his hand. “We would get married and I would take care of you and our baby and I would be so unbelievably happy.”

For a few moments you simply stared back at him in stunned silence. You didn’t know what shocked you more, that your behavior this week had led him to this conclusion or the fact that he wouldn’t be at all upset if you had accidentally gotten pregnant. In all honesty, you always thought it would be many years before he’d want to get married and then many more after that before he’d want to start a family. As much as he loved kids, you assumed he wouldn’t want to start having them at the height of his career with BTS.

His declaration that he wouldn’t just be there for you, but would be genuinely excited, was by far the sweetest, most romantic thing he’d ever said to you. In that moment, you knew with absolute certainty that you and him were going to be OK. The changes that were coming would be difficult, yes, but you would get through them together.

You had half a mind to tell him everything right then and there, but you soon found yourself overcome with emotion. You felt guilty that you’d caused him to worry like this. You felt relieved that you would still be able to tell him of your decision on your own terms tomorrow. But, mostly you just felt grateful. Grateful that he was yours. Grateful to have his love.

“Tae, I’m not pregnant,” was all you managed to get out before you buried your face in his neck and began crying happy tears.

“Sweetheart, I’m so sorry,” Tae quickly said as he hugged you tightly to his chest. “I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

“I was just worried,” he then added before placing a tender kiss on your temple. “You’ve never gotten sick like this before and I was worried and then I started thinking about things and Googling your symptoms and that made me more worried but also kind of excited and I just wanted to make sure and-“

You stopped his adorable rambling by gently pressing your lips to his.

“Baby, I’m not upset,” you said softly. “These are good tears.”

“I just love you so much,” you then added as you kissed the tip of his nose.

“I love you too,” he replied, gazing at you with a look of such adoration it made your heart melt.

“When the time comes, I promise you’ll be the first to know,” you then said with a shy smile.

“OK, Jagi,” he said back, giving you a big, boxy smile as he brushed away a stray tear with his thumb.

The two of you then spent the rest of the night holding each other close, sharing tender, lingering kisses, and whispering sweet nothings. This time, as you laid there in his arms, you felt the ache in your heart fade and the flicker of hope grow with each passing second.

You wouldn’t just fix it, you would make it better than ever before.

~~~

The following morning when you woke up, you felt better than you had in a long time. You felt well-rested, having fallen asleep rather quickly and finally gotten a decent night’s sleep. More than that, though, you felt at peace. At peace with your decision and the new direction your life with Tae was going to take. You were certainly still a little anxious about actually having the conversation, but last night gave you all the reassurance you needed to know that he would understand and support you.

After enjoying some lazy morning snuggles with him which Tannie boldly intruded on, the two of you eventually got yourselves out of bed and dressed for work. A short while later you were in the kitchen sipping coffee and reading the news when Tae came in.

“Hey, I just realized that I forgot to tell you I’m going over to Jimin's tonight for dinner,” he said casually as he began making himself some tea. “We realized on Monday that we haven’t really hung out in a while.”

“He says he’s worried you’ve replaced him as my soulmate,” he went on with a laugh. “He’s absolutely right, but I can’t let him know that just yet.”

The laugh you let out in response was hearty and genuine. All week long you had been waiting for this moment, but now that it was here you realized you didn’t want to press him and force him to reveal the truth. You trusted Tae, wholly and unequivocally. Whatever he was doing, whatever project he was working on, you believed with all your heart that he had a perfectly valid reason for not telling you about it yet, that it had absolutely nothing to do with Jisoo, and that it wasn’t anything you needed to worry about. It would probably come up anyway when you talked about everything tonight; there was no need to interrogate him about it right now.

“I suppose I could share you for a little while,” you said back in an exaggeratedly disappointed voice.

“Will you be out late you think?” you then questioned lightly, hoping he wouldn’t because your talk would probably take a fair amount of time.

“No, definitely not,” he assured you with a smile. “Not with the shoot tomorrow.”

“Ok, I’ll wait up for you then,” you replied nonchalantly.

“I’d like that,” he said back shyly, turning to give you a little smile. “I don’t like to go to bed without saying goodnight to you.”

Blushing a bit at his sweet words, you gave him a bashful smile of your own as you felt yourself relax a tiny bit more.

Tonight is going to go just fine

The day went by incredibly quickly. There was so much you and the other stylists needed to do to prepare for the photoshoot that there was hardly time to even think about your impending talk with Tae. You did, however, schedule a meeting with Mrs. Choi for Monday morning. Assuming your talk tonight went well, you would need to let her know about your plans to leave Big Hit. You were thinking it would be best to leave just before the holidays and wanted to give her enough time to find a replacement before then.

You also needed to give yourself time to find another job. Where you wanted to work next was something you hadn’t figured out yet and obviously needed to talk over with Tae. Given your experience, it made sense to go work with another group at one of the other management companies, but part of you wondered if it would be best to leave the music industry altogether. Perhaps you could take Park Seo-joon up on his offer and get a job working on a TV show. It would be different, for sure, but maybe the change would be good and would make you miss Big Hit and Tae a little less.

You only saw him once during the day when he dropped by the studio to pick something up from the storage closet. As he walked by the table where you were ironing his outfit for tomorrow, he shot you a wink which immediately made your heart flutter. Biting back a smile, you quickly looked down and got back to work. You would definitely miss being able to enjoy little moments like this with him, but you knew that having a healthy, solid relationship would be infinitely more rewarding.

As you were packing up at the end of the day, grateful not to be getting out ridiculously late, you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket.

[Taehyung 5:03 PM] I’m heading off to Jimin’s now.

[Taehyung 5:03 PM] I’ll see you later tonight, sweetheart.

[Taehyung 5:04 PM] I love you so much 💜

[5:04 PM] Have fun!

[5:04 PM] I love you too 💜

During the drive home it finally hit you that tonight was the night that would change everything. You had managed to stay calm throughout the day, but you were officially starting to get nervous now. It’s not that you didn’t think your conversation would go well because you absolutely believed that it would. You just knew it was going to be a tough one, filled with many tears on both sides.

Once you got home you changed into pajamas, had some leftovers for dinner, and then sat on the couch with a glass of wine. You put on a show to try and distract yourself, but your mind was most definitely elsewhere. You were trying to decide where and how to start the conversation and whether or not you should have some kind of speech prepared. After an hour of contemplation, the only thing you knew for sure was that the first thing you would say was a simple, ‘I love you.’ From there, you would just speak from the heart and trust that the words would come to you.

As the night wore on, you found yourself growing a bit restless. Although you didn’t specifically ask Tae what time he would be home, when he said not too late you assumed that meant around 8 or 9:00 PM. It was nearly 10:00 PM, now, though, and you hadn’t heard anything from him. Over the next half hour you wrote and erased a dozen messages to him. You were getting slightly worried, but didn’t want to disturb him and come off as too clingy. Thankfully, before you let your mind fill with dark thoughts that involved Tae lying in a ditch somewhere, your phone buzzed on the couch beside you.

[Taehyung 10:34 PM] I’m actually going to be here a while longer.

[Taehyung 10:35 PM] You don’t need to wait up.

Staring down at the words on the screen, your heart sank. You really wanted to talk to him about everything tonight. While you could theoretically still talk in the morning, you knew you wouldn’t have a lot of time. You also knew he was going to be a wreck afterwards and didn’t want him to then have to go straight to the photoshoot. Briefly, you considered just telling him you needed to talk to him and asking if there was any way he could come home sooner, but that felt kind of desperate. You still didn’t know where he was or what he was doing and you felt guilty bothering him. Letting out a long sigh, you finally replied back.

[10:40 PM] OK. Drive safe.

You didn’t then say goodnight because you didn’t actually have any intention of going to bed. The fact of the matter was you needed to talk to him tonight, even if that meant you stayed up until 3 in the morning and then had to hide the little baggies under his eyes in the shoot tomorrow. You had waited long enough as it was and you honestly didn’t think you would be able to sleep if you didn’t get all of this off your chest. Placing your phone back down on the couch beside you, you wrapped a blanket around yourself, snuggled Tanju to your chest, and waited.

It was almost midnight by the time he finally came home. The moment you heard the apartment door open, your stomach filled with butterflies. ‘This is it’, you thought to yourself. After a month of keeping everything inside, you were finally going to let it all out. You were extremely nervous, but also excited. Tonight would mark the start of the next chapter of your life together.

“Hi, Tae,” you said softly as he rounded the corner and entered the living room.

Clearly not expecting you to be there, he literally jumped at the sound of your voice.

“Oh, you’re still up,” was all he said, looking at you with an unreadable expression.

It was just four words, just a simple sentence, but with it he still managed to completely level you. It wasn’t even what he said, but the way he said it. In his voice there wasn’t just surprise, but disappointment. You could see it too in the way his face had fallen the moment he saw you. It was almost as if he was hoping you would be asleep when he got home.

“Yea, I…I said I would wait up,” you replied back hesitantly, trying not to convey the hurt you felt at his reaction.

“Well, you didn’t have to,” he said flatly as he looked away and rubbed the back of his neck with one hand.

A beat of uncomfortable silence then passed between you two as you tried to think of how to respond. Wherever he had been, whatever he had been doing, clearly something happened to make him upset. Standing up from the couch, you started walking towards him, hoping to comfort him with a hug, but the way he subtly stepped back and retreated from you had you stopping in your tracks.

“You should get to bed,” he said, his tone slightly clipped. “We have a long day tomorrow.”

As you looked him over, noting the way his hands were nervously fidgeting at his sides, the air between you grew heavy.

“Tae, is everything OK?” you asked after another few moments of awkward silence.

Your voice was now laden with concern and your expression one of genuine worry. Something was most definitely wrong right now.

“Everything is fine,” he replied, a hint of defensiveness in his voice.

“I just feel bad that you waited up,” he then added, his tone now suspiciously light and gentle. “I want to make sure you get a good night's sleep before the shoot tomorrow.”

The look he gave you then was much softer, but still reticent and with it you could just tell that he was silently pleading for you to stop asking questions. Whatever was bothering him, he didn’t want to talk about it right now. You didn’t want to press him on it if he wasn’t ready to share, but you did still want to have the conversation you had been preparing for all week long.

“I appreciate that,” you said cautiously.

“But I...I wanted to talk to you about something,” you then added hesitantly, trying to keep your voice even despite the fact that you were very much on edge at that moment.

In response, he let out a long, frustrated sigh.

“Look, I’m not really in the mood to talk right now,” he then replied irritatedly. “I’m tired and I just want to go to sleep.”

At the sound of his words, all of the courage you spent so long building up began draining out of you. Obviously, he didn’t know just how important the something you wanted to talk about was, but the fact that he just shut you down like that really stung. For a moment you thought about trying to explain to him that it really couldn’t wait, but one glance at the annoyed expression on his face immediately squashed that idea.

“OK,” you said quietly as you turned around and started towards the bedroom. “I’ll…I’ll head to bed then.”

Walking into the bedroom, you felt a heavy blanket of unease settle over you. You had never seen Tae act so strangely before, so distant and cagey and snippy. Last night he was so sweet and affectionate and caring, but right now he seemed like an entirely different person. Hoping that he was currently cooling off out in the living room, you slipped into bed and anxiously waited for him.

You waited for a long time, so long that you thought perhaps he fell asleep already out there on the couch, but eventually, sometime near 1:00 AM, he came into the room. From the way he trudged around, sighing deeply, you could tell he was still upset. When he finally climbed into bed, though, and laid down beside you but then didn’t put his arms around you like he usually did, you knew something was truly not OK.

“Tae, what’s wrong?” you whispered as you fought back tears. “Did I…did I do something to make you upset?”

From the way your words startled him, it was obvious he thought you were already asleep. Your heart plummeted in your chest when you realized he must have purposefully waited so long to come to bed in the hopes that you were no longer awake so he could avoid talking to you.

“No, sweetheart, you didn’t,” he quickly assured you as he wound his arms around you and pulled you close.

“I…I got into an argument with Jimin before I left his apartment,” he then said reluctantly. “I'm just upset about that.”

Obviously, you knew that wasn’t the truth, but you didn’t want to let him know you knew that since you hadn’t had a chance to talk to him about everything. Still, you wanted to try and understand what was wrong and why he was acting like this.

“Are you sure that’s it?” you asked in the smallest voice imaginable. “It just…it seemed like you weren’t happy to see me when you got home.”

“Jagi, I’m so sorry I made you feel that way,” he replied, the guilt in his voice evident. “You didn't do anything wrong.”

“I’m just stressed and frustrated with myself and I took it out on you,” he then added sadly. “I’m so sorry for doing that.”

For a few moments, you didn’t respond as you let his words wash over you. He did seem more flustered than angry right now, so perhaps whatever was bothering him truly wasn’t about you. Part of you still wanted to talk, but it was already so late and it just didn’t seem like the right time to get into everything. You were tired now, and still hurt from the way he had treated you, and no longer felt ready to share any of the important things you needed to tell him. With a heavy heart, you accept that it would just have to wait until tomorrow morning.

“It’s OK,” you finally said back.

“I’m sorry again, sweetheart,” he said back, sounding genuinely remorseful.

“It’s OK,” you repeated tiredly. “Let’s just get some sleep.”

“Goodnight, Tae,” you whispered.

“Goodnight, Jagi,” he said back before pressing a kiss to your shoulder.

As you laid there, trying to relax and get comfortable after the unexpectedly stressful events of the evening, you suddenly noticed something. You had been so relieved when Tae finally put his arms around you and snuggled you against his chest that it initially failed to catch your attention. For the first time since you had started dating, for the first time since he stayed with you the night of the Dynamite music video shoot, he was doing something that very well might have been a coincidence, but was extremely peculiar and ever-so-slightly unsettling nonetheless.

He was sleeping with a shirt on.

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