Reddit Users You Are Welcome Here.

Reddit users— you are welcome here.

A few things you should know: Tumblr doesn’t care about karma or popularity or whatever. Post whatever you want. If all you care about is being seen, you’re in the wrong place. Also, curate your feed with following and somewhat with tags, but tags can also be used for conversations, quips, witty one liners, and additional commentary. Reblogging is important, calm down on the angry discourse, and… just dive in, guys, c’mon, as long as you’re not mean we’re not gonna bully you out or anything.

Tumblr users— PLAY NICE. I know we joke about how we use a hellsite, but Reddit really is a minefield. You can’t say anything without someone screaming at you about it and everything is extremely organized into subreddits, no one cares about the people or follows anyone really, and they never use their reblog-adjacent feature. They’re gonna be confused. They might mess up. They won’t understand our inside jokes yet. They probably think we’re still like we were in 2012. Give them time and kindness. Hellsite is a safe space.

Fr my life is empty now idk how to handle this it was so good

Can we calm down and agree that all eyes are pretty and special?? THEY ARE. I have beautiful honey syrup eyes that look just a little bit mossy green after I’ve cried like they’re trying to regrow my happiness or like the thriving ecosystem just below the surface has been released for just a moment. My eyes are freshly made caramel. My eyes are fucking delicious and you’re arguing about the color of the sky or whatever. Shut up. Eyes are always pretty.

I think it should be illegal to make a fictional character with blue eyes, choose something else.

Oooh, that sounds like fun. Me next!

I know that you’ll never feel like I do

I will break into pieces right in front of you

I will burn down the city and string up the noose

And you’ll watch in wonder

(Put it on me - Matt Maeson)

Do you ever get

A little bit tired of life?

Like you’re not really happy

But you don’t wanna die?

Like you’re hanging by a thread, but

You gotta survive,

Cause you gotta survive

(Numb Little Bug - Em Beihold)

You’ve got the same eyes as your father

And you carry the same kind of temper too

What a shame for the people of the community

Favorite thing’s a fight and a lager

Name a better way to spin out a jar or two

He’s a model citizen, through and through

(Oh yea, you gonna cry? By Lovejoy)

So carry me from these walls

Brother of mine

Show me the world outside

It has to be true

I’m counting on you

To be my wings and my eyes

(Fish in a Birdcage by Fish in a Birdcage)

(This whole song resonates the grunkles for me)

All you have is your fire

And the place you need to reach

Don’t you ever tame your demons

Always keep them on a leash

(Arsonist’s lullaby, Hozier)

As well as Touch Tone Telephone by Lemon Demon, Wheels on the Bus by Melanie Martinez, Alone by Nico Collins, Rät by Penelope Scott, and Washing Machine Heart by Mitski.

Gotta have a few for Stanley as well, so…

This suit doesn’t fit me

I made it myself, counterfeitly

With buttons of blue

Killing me with deja vu

It’s a gift for you, and I escape at last

When enough time has passed

But something keeps me as a pet

The only house that’s not on fire yet

(^, lemon demon)

And I will spend a lifetime

Trying to understand why

Someone sharing my bloodline

Would not lend me their hand…

Am I supposed to apologize?

(^, Maria Mena)

Uh oh, don’t you know

You’re not welcome ‘round here

I think you should go

Before you cause some problems

Uh oh, don’t you know

I’m the one you should fear

Talk to me if you’ve got a problem

(You’re not welcome - Naethan Apollo)

I am not your protagonist

I’m not even my own

I don’t know anything

I don’t even know what I don’t know

…

My heart catches on every thorn

You’re already halfway out the door

And I’ve never looked so old

And I’ve never been so cold

(Sweet Hibiscus Tea, Penelope Scott)

I talk to my self- self

I think I need help- help

So what if I’m not okay?

I’m not okay,

I’m bad for my health- health

My head’s on a shelf- shelf

So what if I’m not okay?

I’m not okay

(^, Weathers)

And all of Trapdoor by ToP, Everybody Knows by Sigrid, and Action Movie Hero Boy by Lemon Demon

And they’re both Cheshire Kitten by SJ Tucker

Lyrics that make me think of Ford:

Oh my god, look in the mirror

I was young, nothing to fear once

What have I done, how did I get here?

What have I done? (Oh My God, Alec Benjamin)

All the shine of a thousand spotlights

All the stars we steal from the night sky

Will never be enough

Never be enough

Towers of gold are still too little

These hands could hold the world but it'll

Never be enough (Never Enough, Greatest Showman)

This mountainside is suicide

This dream will never work

Still the sign upon my headstone, write

"A champion of the world" (Champion of the World, Coldplay)

It's so dark, it's so dark out here in space

And it's been so long, been so long since I've seen a face

My eyes are shut but I can see

The void between you and me, mm

And I feel and I feel like I'm going insane (Mayday, TheFatRat)

Every time that I look in the mirror

All these lines on my face getting clearer

The past is gone

Oh, it went by like dusk to dawn

Isn't that the way?

Everybody's got their dues in life to pay

I know nobody knows

Where it comes and where it goes

I know it's everybody's sin

You got to lose to know how to win (Dream On, Aerosmith)

And then the nightmare started, it got deafeningly loud

Every fiber in me screamed out, but I couldn't make a sound

The whirling of a vortex, a violent carousel

It sounded like a freight train was dragging me to hell

And this was my prayer:

Save me from this terrible nightmare

That was when I saw my family with my eyes shut real tight

Would they know how much I loved them if this was how I died?

No, I vowed I'd not be murdered by a monster in the sky that night (The Tornado, Owl City)

NOT TO LIVEBLOG TOH BUT THE SEASON 2 FINALE LITERALLY JUST MADE ME CRY WTF IS THIS

Also idk what’s up with this collector guy but I low key love them? Like, bestie, did you just move the moon with your finger????

aNyWaYs

A few very short stories inspired by the above post.

———

“Heyyyy… can I ask you weird questions for a minute?”

Presley approaches Daisy in the cafeteria rather suddenly and with an awkward smile on his face. Daisy cocks an eyebrow and continues her scrolling through her reports and snacking on almonds.

“Sure, what‘cha need?”

“So you know how there aren’t very many humans on this piece of junk?”

“Yep.”

“And y’know how people sometimes… have… attraction, to other people? And it’s not really a choice, it just happens, but it’s not a bad thing either way—“

“Keep goin, hun.”

“And y’know how you’re a doctor?”

“Obviously.”

“Well, I, uh… I… geez, this is hard—“

“Okay,” Daisy sighs harshly and puts her tablet down, turning her chair to face Presley and trying to hold her kind composure,

“So you wanna have sex with an alien.”

Presley’s face goes red and his head whips around,

“Geez, not so loud! Yes, I wanna ask Etazia to have sex with me.”

“Etazia— she’s a Rev’tick, yea? A pretty good looking one too, not a bad choice—“

“Can you just tell me if that’s a thing that’s possible or not?”

Daisy relaxes into a lazy smile and picks her tablet back up, swiping away from reports and opening anatomy textbooks.

“Hypothetically, yes. Rev’tick have five sexes: two feminine, one masculine, and two others. Etazia is rinnit, which means she has a cloaca. You’ll have to keep in mind that the average human penis is notably larger than either of its Rev’tick equivalents, but rinnit do experience pleasure from penetrative sex and have a few notable external erogenous zones… I’ll let you discuss those with her. Questions?”

Presley, whose face very quickly ended up in his hands to cover the red that is now spreading down his neck, groaned,

“I don’t want to continue this conversation. But. What is a cloaca.”

Daisy laughs and pulls up a diagram on her tablet, waving it in front of him until he picks his head up enough to look.

“It’s just… an everything-hole.”

“Oh. Weird.”

“You have a g-spot in your ass.”

“Fair enough. I’m gonna go curl up in a corner now.”

“Great. Have fun with Etazia later— I think she likes you~”

A few eyes turn to Presley as he shuffles out of the cafeteria, eyes glued to the floor. Daisy just returns to her reports with a hum of amusement.

—————————

“I am curious. Why did you place a vegetable into y—“

“oKAY can we not say that out loud where people can hear?”

Taraque looks around in confusion, then turns back to the distressed human in front of him.

“Jeremy, no one can hear, see, or sense us through the protective barrier. I do not understand.”

“Just. It’s fine. Just help me get it out, would you?”

“Of course! I am well versed in human physiology. Lay front-down on the bed.”

…

“So is there a reason why you did this?”

“Ugh! It’s a human thing. It… feels good, if you do it right.”

“I see. Then I suppose you did not ‘do it right’?”

“Ha. Yea. You could say that— ow! Warn a guy, would ya?”

“Apologies, I had assumed my intentions were clear.”

“Oh, just shut up and help me already.”

—————————

Wendy briefly startles at the chime at her door before looking to the clock. 1900 already! She smiles and keys the door open,

“K’Nala!”

“Greetings, Wendy! Are you prepared for our weekly chess lesson?”

“Yes— well, not really, I lost track of time. Let me go get the board. Come in!”

Wendy rushes off to grab the chess board and pieces from beneath her bed. She always looks forward to these little lessons— it’s nice to feel like the smart one every once in a while, and spending time with K’Nala is always a treat.

When she returns, Wendy expects to see K’Nala already seated at the table. Instead, she’s somewhat awkwardly standing near the door, looking around and fidgeting. When she eventually meets Wendy’s confused eyes, she smiles weakly and holds out a sparse bouquet of flowers that Wendy doesn’t recognize.

“These… are for you. I hope you like them. I don’t know any human flowers, but these are my favorites. The blue ones are from my planet, and the purple ones are from Gander, and—“

“K’Nala, you got me flowers! That’s so sweet, thank you!”

K’Nala’s face lights up, relief flooding her stiff body.

“The gift was effective, then?”

“Very. Although, I can’t really say that without knowing for sure what your intentions were with it.”

K’Nala’s nerves reappear and she looks away while Wendy picks through the flowers and searches for an acceptable vase, keeping one eye on the nervous alien in her residence.

“I… I read in a humanity studies book that, well, that flowers were an appropriate gift to initiate… oh, nevermind, uh, I just think they’re pretty and pretty things make me think of you? Is that stupid to say?”

“No, that’s adorable.” Wendy corrects confidently, smoothly approaching K’Nala once the flowers are placed and putting one hand on her arm, “Are you trying to ask me out? —To clarify, is this a courting gift?”

“Yes! Did… I do it right?”

“You did perfectly, K’Nala! You didn’t have to do that.”

“I didn’t?”

Wendy pulls her in for an embrace, a display which she’s taught K’Nala about before,

“You didn’t have to, but I very much appreciate it, and… I would love to engage in a romantic relationship with you.”

“Yeep! Astounding! I look forward to every bit of it!” K’Nala hugs back, which forces Wendy to hold in a chuckle. Looks like the reasoning for this one has come across.

They eventually pull away, Wendy smiling with fond amusement and K’Nala grinning like she’s just discovered a new habitable solar system.

“So,” Wendy starts gently, “Chess?”

“Chess. Unless our dynamic should change with our new relationship title?”

“Nope. We just slowly add physical and emotional intimacy in comfortable intervals.”

“Ah, ideal. Chess, then.”

I think it's a shame that there's no real apparent deep dives into sexuality/romantic combinations/issues in the whole "Humans are space [whatever]" and "Earths Space Australia' fandom? Phenomenon?

Like, I feel like that's a source that's been untapped. Either that or I'm just digging in the wrong sandboxes. But y'all cannot tell me no ones thought to do it.

Where's the human OBGYN going into a field closer to veterinarian work in order to be inclusive for other alien life?

What about the humans who have to study the reproductive habits etc to help get all the details needed to have a successful and inclusive OBGYN practitioner among aliens?

Hell, what about the aliens doing the same! Give me aliens who ACTUALLY understand afab needs and actually blow the entire amab human led OBGYN studies out of the water entirely.

And not to mention just the folks on both sides who are super into xenophillia? The amount of embarrassing accidents or potentially traumatic (or both) accidents would be interesting. Especially if the alien doesn't really understand embarrassment. Cause one one hand you have HUMAN whose probably hurt or distressed because they messed up doing the DO, whose 100% RESISTENT to going to medical for aid! And then there's the ALIEN whose like ??? You're [insert issue here] ... that... that warrants medical.

And what about courting/dating? Humans have SO MANY DIFFERENT rituals and we all come at dating/relationships differently because of our environment/culture/religion/history etc. How would human/alien partners wade through this? What are the fairytale dream come true scenarios and the absolute HORROR stories? (Yes some probably would feel similar to how we ce up with dumb racist reasons not to date someone because they're from xyz race/culture/class, so while ugly it would definitely happen.)

How would couples do up their homes so both could be comfortable and happy/content/functional? What compromises would each party make for love?

What about space equivalent of green cards? Relationships of convenience or relationships that are SO FUCKING inconvenient?

What about species we find humans can in fact hybridize with? What does that entail? What are the ethical moral implications? Would new laws need to be out in place to recognize the new life form? Would it be casual or a HUGE deal? Would the child be infertal (many hybrid animals are)? If so how would this affect laws/socialization? And what if the offspring wasn't infertal? The continued mixture down the road would lead to evolution I'm the genetic pool eventually.

Idk. It just all feels terribly untapped, and I'm disappointed, and my crops are dying, but I don't have the spoons or energy to WRITE anything like this indenpth. 😔 ugh.

Well. Idk. If anyone is inspired, I'd love to read whatever you come up with.