Human Alien Dynamics - Tumblr Posts
A few very short stories inspired by the above post.
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“Heyyyy… can I ask you weird questions for a minute?”
Presley approaches Daisy in the cafeteria rather suddenly and with an awkward smile on his face. Daisy cocks an eyebrow and continues her scrolling through her reports and snacking on almonds.
“Sure, what‘cha need?”
“So you know how there aren’t very many humans on this piece of junk?”
“Yep.”
“And y’know how people sometimes… have… attraction, to other people? And it’s not really a choice, it just happens, but it’s not a bad thing either way—“
“Keep goin, hun.”
“And y’know how you’re a doctor?”
“Obviously.”
“Well, I, uh… I… geez, this is hard—“
“Okay,” Daisy sighs harshly and puts her tablet down, turning her chair to face Presley and trying to hold her kind composure,
“So you wanna have sex with an alien.”
Presley’s face goes red and his head whips around,
“Geez, not so loud! Yes, I wanna ask Etazia to have sex with me.”
“Etazia— she’s a Rev’tick, yea? A pretty good looking one too, not a bad choice—“
“Can you just tell me if that’s a thing that’s possible or not?”
Daisy relaxes into a lazy smile and picks her tablet back up, swiping away from reports and opening anatomy textbooks.
“Hypothetically, yes. Rev’tick have five sexes: two feminine, one masculine, and two others. Etazia is rinnit, which means she has a cloaca. You’ll have to keep in mind that the average human penis is notably larger than either of its Rev’tick equivalents, but rinnit do experience pleasure from penetrative sex and have a few notable external erogenous zones… I’ll let you discuss those with her. Questions?”
Presley, whose face very quickly ended up in his hands to cover the red that is now spreading down his neck, groaned,
“I don’t want to continue this conversation. But. What is a cloaca.”
Daisy laughs and pulls up a diagram on her tablet, waving it in front of him until he picks his head up enough to look.
“It’s just… an everything-hole.”
“Oh. Weird.”
“You have a g-spot in your ass.”
“Fair enough. I’m gonna go curl up in a corner now.”
“Great. Have fun with Etazia later— I think she likes you~”
A few eyes turn to Presley as he shuffles out of the cafeteria, eyes glued to the floor. Daisy just returns to her reports with a hum of amusement.
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“I am curious. Why did you place a vegetable into y—“
“oKAY can we not say that out loud where people can hear?”
Taraque looks around in confusion, then turns back to the distressed human in front of him.
“Jeremy, no one can hear, see, or sense us through the protective barrier. I do not understand.”
“Just. It’s fine. Just help me get it out, would you?”
“Of course! I am well versed in human physiology. Lay front-down on the bed.”
…
“So is there a reason why you did this?”
“Ugh! It’s a human thing. It… feels good, if you do it right.”
“I see. Then I suppose you did not ‘do it right’?”
“Ha. Yea. You could say that— ow! Warn a guy, would ya?”
“Apologies, I had assumed my intentions were clear.”
“Oh, just shut up and help me already.”
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Wendy briefly startles at the chime at her door before looking to the clock. 1900 already! She smiles and keys the door open,
“K’Nala!”
“Greetings, Wendy! Are you prepared for our weekly chess lesson?”
“Yes— well, not really, I lost track of time. Let me go get the board. Come in!”
Wendy rushes off to grab the chess board and pieces from beneath her bed. She always looks forward to these little lessons— it’s nice to feel like the smart one every once in a while, and spending time with K’Nala is always a treat.
When she returns, Wendy expects to see K’Nala already seated at the table. Instead, she’s somewhat awkwardly standing near the door, looking around and fidgeting. When she eventually meets Wendy’s confused eyes, she smiles weakly and holds out a sparse bouquet of flowers that Wendy doesn’t recognize.
“These… are for you. I hope you like them. I don’t know any human flowers, but these are my favorites. The blue ones are from my planet, and the purple ones are from Gander, and—“
“K’Nala, you got me flowers! That’s so sweet, thank you!”
K’Nala’s face lights up, relief flooding her stiff body.
“The gift was effective, then?”
“Very. Although, I can’t really say that without knowing for sure what your intentions were with it.”
K’Nala’s nerves reappear and she looks away while Wendy picks through the flowers and searches for an acceptable vase, keeping one eye on the nervous alien in her residence.
“I… I read in a humanity studies book that, well, that flowers were an appropriate gift to initiate… oh, nevermind, uh, I just think they’re pretty and pretty things make me think of you? Is that stupid to say?”
“No, that’s adorable.” Wendy corrects confidently, smoothly approaching K’Nala once the flowers are placed and putting one hand on her arm, “Are you trying to ask me out? —To clarify, is this a courting gift?”
“Yes! Did… I do it right?”
“You did perfectly, K’Nala! You didn’t have to do that.”
“I didn’t?”
Wendy pulls her in for an embrace, a display which she’s taught K’Nala about before,
“You didn’t have to, but I very much appreciate it, and… I would love to engage in a romantic relationship with you.”
“Yeep! Astounding! I look forward to every bit of it!” K’Nala hugs back, which forces Wendy to hold in a chuckle. Looks like the reasoning for this one has come across.
They eventually pull away, Wendy smiling with fond amusement and K’Nala grinning like she’s just discovered a new habitable solar system.
“So,” Wendy starts gently, “Chess?”
“Chess. Unless our dynamic should change with our new relationship title?”
“Nope. We just slowly add physical and emotional intimacy in comfortable intervals.”
“Ah, ideal. Chess, then.”
I think it's a shame that there's no real apparent deep dives into sexuality/romantic combinations/issues in the whole "Humans are space [whatever]" and "Earths Space Australia' fandom? Phenomenon?
Like, I feel like that's a source that's been untapped. Either that or I'm just digging in the wrong sandboxes. But y'all cannot tell me no ones thought to do it.
Where's the human OBGYN going into a field closer to veterinarian work in order to be inclusive for other alien life?
What about the humans who have to study the reproductive habits etc to help get all the details needed to have a successful and inclusive OBGYN practitioner among aliens?
Hell, what about the aliens doing the same! Give me aliens who ACTUALLY understand afab needs and actually blow the entire amab human led OBGYN studies out of the water entirely.
And not to mention just the folks on both sides who are super into xenophillia? The amount of embarrassing accidents or potentially traumatic (or both) accidents would be interesting. Especially if the alien doesn't really understand embarrassment. Cause one one hand you have HUMAN whose probably hurt or distressed because they messed up doing the DO, whose 100% RESISTENT to going to medical for aid! And then there's the ALIEN whose like ??? You're [insert issue here] ... that... that warrants medical.
And what about courting/dating? Humans have SO MANY DIFFERENT rituals and we all come at dating/relationships differently because of our environment/culture/religion/history etc. How would human/alien partners wade through this? What are the fairytale dream come true scenarios and the absolute HORROR stories? (Yes some probably would feel similar to how we ce up with dumb racist reasons not to date someone because they're from xyz race/culture/class, so while ugly it would definitely happen.)
How would couples do up their homes so both could be comfortable and happy/content/functional? What compromises would each party make for love?
What about space equivalent of green cards? Relationships of convenience or relationships that are SO FUCKING inconvenient?
What about species we find humans can in fact hybridize with? What does that entail? What are the ethical moral implications? Would new laws need to be out in place to recognize the new life form? Would it be casual or a HUGE deal? Would the child be infertal (many hybrid animals are)? If so how would this affect laws/socialization? And what if the offspring wasn't infertal? The continued mixture down the road would lead to evolution I'm the genetic pool eventually.
Idk. It just all feels terribly untapped, and I'm disappointed, and my crops are dying, but I don't have the spoons or energy to WRITE anything like this indenpth. 😔 ugh.
Well. Idk. If anyone is inspired, I'd love to read whatever you come up with.