I Hate Days Where I Get Sick Of Not Eating

I hate days where I get sick of not eating

I hate days where I have get sick of restricting myself, sick of going to fridge opening just to close it back again, sick of sleeping to forget the hunger, sick where i think anytime i eat more than 600 cal is binging, sick when my parents give me something to eat.

As it was is all about yearning. it's about trying to catch up with everything, but failing . it's about coming to terms with the fact that things will never stay the same. it's about feeling like everyone's getting ahead of you while you're stuck stuck . it's about running away and to something. it's about wanting something everything anything too much. but then. it's about a burst of colours . it's about that feeling of acceptance. that feeling of freedom. it's about coming to terms with, and realising that you're happy where you are. it's about accepting that because you're happy, you can jump, you're free. you can dance and jive and just live.

There'll be a moment when you realise you're 27 when yesterday you were just 17; and you wouldn't be able to tell how a decade passed away and your life got divided into before and afters. The fury of youth will subdue and nothing will really change but everything will feel different when you look at old photographs and blurry videos taken on cheap mobile phones. Scents will remind you of childhood and certain friends you don't talk to anymore, hangouts will become reunions and mom's burnt pie will become the best food you ever had. And I know on some days you won't be able to show anything of those 10 years but I hope you remember to breathe, and let go of the knot in your chest. I hope you go out in the sun and live a little, because tomorrow is 37.

Edit- I added the visualizer for this piece on my YT, check it out here

-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The Flesh I Burned

If your an active Ed blog in June 2024

Reblog this so we can be moots xx

drank mango smoothie now I'm feeling terrible because it was 200+ cals and I'm supposed to be restricting 😡😡

my mom is mad at me cause she made dinner BUT CAN SOMEONE TELL HER I CANNOT EAT

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don’t eat.