It Was Easier To Be Alone When You Knew Someone Would Be Coming Back To You. When You Knew That Being

It was easier to be alone when you knew someone would be coming back to you. When you knew that being alone wasn't a permanent state. So when Ciara went walking, Rae let her. There was a kind of thrill in it, waiting for someone to return, to want to hold you and kiss you and talk to you when they did. It had been so long since she'd been human, she nearly didn't remember it.

The rabbit warren had fascinated her that morning, and she watched the growing babies emerge slowly and scout around, little hops barely getting them off the ground. She could observe them for hours, and when Ciara had told her she'd be back, Rae just smiled and waved her off, content in watching the little balls of fluff learn about the nature of life.

Another thing, though, was that she didn't dare move. She didn't want Ciara to be unable to find her. To lose her beloved when she'd only just found her...would break her in ways she didn't want to contemplate.

Ciara's voice drew her attention, though, and she looked over, brown hair bouncing, a bright smile on her lips. It grew larger as she saw the bouquet and listened to Ciara's request.

Rae's smile grew, if that were possible, and she rolled to her knees, then stood and carefully accepted the flowers. She knew how much concentration it took to hold them, much less tie the ribbon around them so carefully. She held them up to her nose, and though she didn't smell much, it was the gesture that was important.

"They're beautiful," she held them to her chest as she reached up and kissed Ciara on the cheek. "And I'd love to go for a walk with you."

It was hard to contain her giddiness, not to try to rush Ciara to their destination. Because, if she understood correctly, the journey was just as important. With her other hand she gripped Ciara's hand and fell into step beside her. "Have I told you lately how much I love being with you? How much you make me smile just by doing things like this?" she held out and admired the flowers again, grinning. "I couldn't ask for a better lover. Or a better friend." She gazed up at Ciara lovingly, tracing the familiar, beloved features with her eyes as they walked.

Flipping through her ubiquitous notebook one afternoon -- one of the few things saved from Lion's Arch that day; she'd even had to throw out her leather coat because the damage was so severe -- she found a scribbled drawing in the back of an owl with clockwork eyes and feathers. It struck a memory.

Milli had been waiting on Fields to finish wrapping up a package that she would deliver and she'd taken those few brief moments to herself to sketch. Nothing fancy, because she didn't have time for that, but just something of interest. Something that was hers for her own sake. She remembered smiling at it, pleased.

After about 20 minutes, Fields had sent her on her way. It was the last time she saw him alive, the last time she was in his shop before it was blown up. And that event started a tumultuous journey to the present, finding a place with the Hangmen, power and responsibility with the Clubs, business success with her shop, and now a husband and child only days away.

It was a good memory.

Suddenly inspired, and finding that most work left her aching and exhausted, Milli sent for a large sheet of the nicest parchment Virgil could find in the manor, pens, and ink. She was not displeased.

For the next few hours, Milli did little else but sit at her desk and draw. First the rough sketch, then the carefully drawn lines and shading. It was like a design plan, but instead of functional, she was creating something beautiful in and of itself. By the time Valec came up to find her for the evening meal, she was just working on the details.

"That's very good!" he complimented, turning it so the light hit it more directly. "Is that going to be for the new shop? Changing the name to the Owl's Roost?" His grin and laughter made her smile.

"No, just something I thought would be fun to try. I was thinking maybe we could hang it in the baby's room?"

"We'll get it framed first," he assured her, setting it down carefully on the desk. Then he leaned over and kissed her head, embracing her gently. "You are so talented. Beautiful. I am amazed at you every day."

Her arms wrapped around him in return. "I love you too," she kissed his cheek. "Now, what are we having to eat? I'm starving."

He chuckled as he helped her up and then assisted her down the stairs. "I'm sure whatever you want, the cook will oblige."

Leaning on his arm, Milli stopped him and kissed him properly. "Thank you for making my life amazing," she told him.

He replied, "You did that yourself."

"TIME GUARDIAN" Commissioned work for Zero Square - Malaysia. I really enjoyed working on this one! A breath of fresh air in terms of composition and use of elements. :) - Uni Pin Fine Liners - 11 x 16 inches of Canson sketch paper - Approx. 18 hours of drawing BIGGER IMAGE HERE: http://goo.gl/C8n6OD :) Facebook | DeviantArt | Twitter | Behance | Instagram | Shop 

(Strange Bedfellows Part 2)

There were different faces to the man, almost like phases of the moon. When she thought of him as Full Fox, he was open -- in the spectrum of his secretive nature, that is -- and she could almost see him smile sometimes. Not that she ever saw his face. It was all in the eyes. Waning Fox was snarly, surly, and snarky. Often a bit harsh. Dark Fox was bitter and nearly cruel. Nothing she did was right. She could always tell when he'd been thinking about his wife and daughter. Waxing Fox was calm enough to talk to her, to explain the details of something to her without growing snappy. She appreciated his Waxing phase the most.

But unlike the moon, his phases were inconstant and in no way equivalent in duration. After more than two months in hiding, Milli was beginning to think she'd never see Full or Waxing again.

After a week of surveillance and cautious information gathering, Fox had returned to the cabin with a plan. It started tomorrow and as much as Milli wanted to stay up all night checking her devices, Fox had forestalled her, packing them up and forbidding her to open them again until they arrived.

"I need to know where I packed the damned grenades, woman," he growled at her. She knew his moods shifted easily and did her best not to cringe, but sometimes she wondered why he hadn't killed her yet.

He ordered her to bed early. "We'll be up before dawn and moving fast. If you can't keep up, I'll leave you behind," he told her as she climbed into bed, still poking at the ashes of the fire.

She laid down and listened to him. He didn't move to his bed on the other side of the room. She didn't hear him move at all, really. When she sat up, he was staring at her.

It was unnerving, and yet she couldn't find it in her to be surprised.

"You have to promise me." Her words slipped into the dark between them. He didn't reply. "You have to promise you won't leave tonight. Or try to stop me, Fox. This is my fight, too. People I love have died, too." She fought back tears over those he'd been able to confirm dead.

He just stared at her for a long time, but Milli met his eyes with her own, mismatched blue and milky white. Finally, he rose and walked over to sit beside her on the bed.

"She spoke to me when I went back," he said, the words hanging like specters in the air. Milli didn't know what to make of them, so she said nothing. "She said once this was done, I was free. To live my life. To live a good life." He turned toward her again. "What did she mean?"

The pain in his voice meant it could be only one woman: Aria. The fact that she was dead didn't seem to matter, at least not to him. Milli had heard of all kinds of things magic could do, of the ghosts of Ascalon roaming their battlegrounds forever.

"She doesn't want you to throw your life away avenging hers," Milli said quietly. "Maybe you can find something else to live for?"

"What?" he demanded. "Who? I have nothing left."

That stung. "Me," she murmured, eyes downcast. "After tomorrow, I'll be as hunted as you. I could use the help figuring things out."

"And you'd want me to do that?" he asked wryly, eyebrow raised.

Milli nodded. "You're more useful than you give yourself credit for. I've never felt safer than with you." She looked him in the eye. "Promise me you won't leave without me."

Slowly, Fox nodded. "Alright."

She flashed him one of her little smiles, then reached up and did something extraordinary before turning over and going to sleep. She kissed him on the cheek above his mask.

(Strange Bedfellows Part 4)

(OOC: Got home from my parents' house and forgot about posting the rest. OOPS! I'll go quickly with it!)

Strange Bedfellows Part 3

The trek was far from easy, moving fast over the rugged terrain north of Gendarren Fields to get to a small fort on the edge of Krytan territory. Milli was exhausted before they even got there, the supplies packed on her back only half of what Fox's weighed. But she wasn't strong, wasn't built for this.

She was more than a little surprised that he didn't surpass her and leave her behind. He was relentless in their pace, but generous with the stops. It was the only way Milli made it all the way.

As evening stretched from the western horizon, they surveyed the fort from a copse of trees nearly a quarter mile distant. The intervening terrain was cleared of trees and brush, making sneaking up during the day impossible. Even with night to cloak them, it wouldn't be easy.

Fox swore angrily as he looked over the fort's defenses. "There were half this number of soldiers here last week," he growled, gesturing to the guards stationed every 15 feet on the top of the wall. "Something's changed. And I don't know what."

"Visiting nobles?" Milli guessed. "Will it be a problem? Do we need to go back, try again another day?"

She watched him consider things, could almost see the wheels turning in his head, the way his blue gaze didn't waver from the walls. Caution and vengeance were at war in his head and caution had been winning out for 10 weeks. So a part of her wasn't really surprised to see him shake his head.

"We're going in. You'll have to do your part and do it well." He turned to her, blue eyes hard and determined. "If something happens to me, get out. Head east and hide out in the mountains a few weeks. Then head to Hoelbrak. You should be relatively safe there."

She shook her head. "Nothing's going to happen to you," she insisted, knowing it was naive. They were in way over their heads. Things were more likely to blow up in their faces before this was all over. But she didn't want to think about losing someone else. She didn't want to acknowledge the possibility.

Sensing this, or maybe just unwilling to fight her over it, Fox nodded. "Nothing will happen, but remember that. In case."

Milli wasn't sure what gave her the courage to grab him in a hug, but she did, holding onto him tightly. "Be safe," she whispered, pressing her lips to his cheek as she had the night before.

He nodded, then vanished like a cloud of smoke.

***

Nothing had gone right, at least not on her end. The fuses on the implosion grenades had been too long and by the time the devices went off, the gate guards were merely knocked off their feet instead of knocked unconscious.

This led to a pitched battle between them and Milli as she attempted to pick them off with her pistols and a few shrapnel grenades. That only brought more men to find her standing over the mangled corpses of three guards in the courtyard and many, many burned patches.

Speed and ingenuity kept her alive as she dashed into the inner recesses of the fort, laying makeshift traps behind her as she went and trying to keep gunfire to a minimum. Milli hadn't seen Fox, but then she wasn't supposed to. He would be finding the commander while she kept the rest of the keep busy. That, at least, seemed to be working.

Bursting into a large, circular room, Milli hurriedly closed the doors behind her, barring them and setting a grenade precariously on the handle, liable to fall and explode at the first jostle. When she turned to run again, she realized she was in the wrong place.

Stairs led down into a central well, perhaps an area for a speaker to address an audience up in the stands where she was. Two men faced off in the middle, both wearing dark clothes. They traded pistol shots and sword blows, neither making significant gains on the other without sacrifice.

And neither was masked. Either could be Fox. She could kill the man without knowing it. Rushing down the stairs, she saw one man take a rapier through his shoulder as the other's sword found a home in his opponent's thigh. Milli winced. She could hear men in armor running toward them. There wasn't time.

"Fox!" she shouted. Both men turned to her a moment. On the first man's face sat a look of fierce determination. On the other's, a wicked grin.

Milli shot the first man and hurried over to Fox.

"How did you know?" he asked, leaning against her, his shoulder releasing blood at an alarming rate.

Milli wrapped her arms around him and pointed at the stained glass ceiling above them, depicting each of the Six in turn. "The way out's that way." Then she looked at him. "It's in the eyes. You wanted to kill him. He wanted to survive." The grappling hook managed to hold her extra weight and pull them up through the skylight and into the night beyond.

(Strange Bedfellows Part 5)

(Strange Bedfellows Part 7)

She had stopped trying to be actually productive almost an hour before. Now she was just swinging the hammer in vain attempts to work out her frustrations.

It took her a moment to realize when a strong hand caught her own, another wrapping around the back of her neck. "Calm down," Fox said, his voice right beside her ear. She wanted to fight, but the way he took control of her made that hard, her mind short-circuiting any attempts at fighting back. "Drop the hammer," he continued. She let it slip from her grasp, falling harmlessly to the rocky ground around what she was laughingly calling her workshop. "Come inside."

As if she had a choice. He let go of her arm, but the hand on her neck was still there, subtly guiding her. Relaxing her in ways and for reasons she tried not to think too hard on. She sat down at the firepit where they cooked -- the small cave had no furnishings, was little more than a hole in the ground that made her miss the cabin in Harathi.

Fox mirrored her movements, settling beside her with his hand still at her neck, fingers beginning to massage and stroke. "Tell me what's wrong," he said gently.

She enjoyed the relaxing touches for a few minutes and he let her, not pushing while she ordered her thoughts. Finally, she said, "It's not working. I can't even melt copper. The wood doesn't burn hot enough or long enough. I can't do anything with what I have." She swallowed thickly, holding back tears. "I'm useless." The words stuck in her throat. She hated saying them, hated admitting it. He would leave, find someplace else and she would be alone. Worthless.

"You need a forge, then?" Fox asked.

Milli nodded. "Then I could make tools, get back to work again, make money for us, -something-." Her hands balled into fists.

He took one hand and gently worked it out of its angry curl. Then he used his leverage and strength to drag her to him, into his lap. Highly inappropriate thoughts swirled through her head and Milli blushed deeply, glancing up at him furtively. The man was handsome, more so without his mask, obviously, but that was only because his expressions were so much clearer without it. He wasn't angry, nor condescendingly amused -- the woman throwing a tantrum, look at that, she thought scathingly to herself -- but instead intent. Serious. As if her problem were his as well and required his attention in addition to her own.

"I know you don't like the charr," he said solemnly, "but I feel like they're our best option here. I have a feeling we could get you hired at one of the outposts nearby, working with the local smith fixing weapons and armaments. You're more than competent enough to do the job and we just can't go back to Kryta right now." Two fingers under her chin lifted her eyes to meet his. "Can you handle that?"

"What about you?" she murmured, the warmth and closeness of him, his strength and protection, releasing her inhibitions better than alcohol. She had a pressing need to nuzzle his face that she was fighting hard. He loved his wife. His dead wife, but still. She hadn't known Aria, but from the few things Fox had said, she knew she was nothing like the beautiful, kind, sweet Mesmer who had captured his heart.

And yet...he rubbed his nose gently against hers, almost encouragingly. She couldn't help but press back, soft cheek against stubble. "I'll be here," he promised. "You've already proven to me you won't let me leave." He drew away slightly and smiled at the half-lidded expression of bliss on her face. "I suppose I'll have to prove to you that you'll never be rid of me."

The kiss was gentle, soft, and Milli trembled in his arms. The emotions that poured over her were so intense, she couldn't help it. She stroked his face, his hair, touching every part of him she could. She could admit to feeling something for him now. Doing so wouldn’t hurt him or drive him away. And he would stay. She trusted him, believed in him. Fox had never given her a reason to do otherwise. Things would get better. She wasn't alone.

***

It was while gathering firewood that evening that Fox saw them, a pair of shadows playing in the dimness of the trees, a red headed woman chasing a small child with dark, curly hair. He approached slowly -- this was still Ascalon, where the dead killed the living regardless of race.

"Daddy!" Amelia cried immediately, running up to him, but careful not to touch. It was hard to look at her, but he made himself, knowing he might never get the chance again.

Fox smiled at her and knelt down to her height. "How have you been? Are you happy?"

"Very," she nodded. "I get to play with Mommy and so many other people. I miss you, though. Mommy said we'll be together again eventually."

"Eventually, yes," he nodded. "I've missed you, though."

"Don't be sad, Daddy!" Amelia cried, dancing close. "Mommy showed me your new friend. She seems nice. You can play with her until it's time to see us again."

"That's what your mother said, is it?" he quirked a brow at the child.

"It is," Aria replied, evening mist coalescing into her form. "And I'm glad to see you're finally listening to me."

"She's not you," he insisted, standing to look his wife in the eye.

"No one ever will be," she replied gently. "But she'll be good for you. I can tell."

"So you can see the future?" Fox asked, crossing his arms and giving Aria an arch look.

"No," she replied primly, "but I have a sense about these things. And she needs you. Just as much as you need her."

"I'll always love you, though," he argued, not sure why he tried. She had been stubborn even when she was alive.

Aria just shook her head, red hair bouncing. She began to fade with the approaching nightfall. He had a feeling it was for the last time. "Love is boundless, my dear," she said, her voice seeping away to a mere echo in the dark. "So long as you are willing to open your heart to it."

He stood there, alone in the dark, for a long time before he turned, heading back to the light, his Milli, and the life ahead.

Fin

Maybe...

Come into the dark woods, where everything is pure and true.

(Strange Bedfellows Part 4)

Her hands shook as she wielded the needle against his flesh. An inexpert tailor at the best of times, she seemed to be having a hard time breathing and concentrating on the stitching at his shoulder. He would have long ago taken over and done it himself if he could, but he couldn't even see the wound. After the third time Milli lost her grip on the needle, Fox gripped her hand and her shoulder, thumb and finger sliding around her neck. She stilled immediately, her eyes suddenly focused steadily on his face. It was an interesting reaction.

"Milli," he said steadily. "I need you to do this for me. I need your focus here. Do you understand?"

She took several deep breaths, pressing into his hand. He tightened his grip slightly and she seemed to relax even further. "Okay," she agreed in a small voice.

Fox kept his hand there as she worked, the hand at her neck seemingly keeping her grounded and steady.

Once she was finished, he tested the stitching slightly. It would hold. The tiny cave where they were holed up until the night could cover them again wasn't safe for long, but so long as he could keep the bleeding to a minimum it would suffice.

Then he pulled her close by his grip and began poking and prodding at her, seeking her own hurts.

She held still, gasping as he found a wound on one arm from a bullet, another at her ribs from shrapnel.

The woman was shell shocked, a feeling he understood but didn't feel. After a battle, you found a safe place and nursed your wounds, then recovered and moved on. He hadn't felt that kind of shock in years.

He began unlacing the ties of her coat to treat the wounds and she didn't fight him. The scars on her body weren't surprising to him. She'd mentioned them in passing when she'd hurt her head and ear. That wound was well healed, likely wouldn't be more than a small bump on the shell of her ear when it scarred. Fox kept a hand on her as he undressed her, sensing in her the quiet skittishness of an animal that needed to be stroked to keep still.

"Doesn't look like it'll need stitches," he said with a quiet, even tone, his hand at her neck holding her close. "The one on your arm will, though. Can I sew it up?"

Slowly, she moved her good arm to cover her chest, modesty finally kicking in. "Yeah."

Keeping one hand in place, he quickly sewed her up. She hissed once or twice but otherwise stayed still.

Once he hand finished and bandaged both wounds, he put her coat back on her.

"Can you sleep?" Fox asked her. When she nodded vaguely, he found a comfortable place to lean against the rock wall and pulled her to him. Even with the small fire, she was already cold. He held her while her breathing evened out and she slept, trying not to think about the fact that Aria's killer was dead and he hadn't been the one who had done it.

(Strange Bedfellows Part 6)