Lost Souls - Tumblr Posts
Sometimes I just think, am i the only one that is lost? Why does everyone else in the social media seems to perfectly know what they will do for the rest of their lifes at the age of 20?? Am I the problem or is everyone else just pretending???
Sometimes I just feel so lost. Like, how am i supposed to know what i wanna do with my life before my 20s?? How do i know if im in the right place, doing the things that will "lead me to sucess"? Is there a thing that you do that guarantees you a great future? Or every bad thing is a part of the process also?
I motion towards all of the little birdcages strapped to my belt and scythe. Some pure, like butterflies, others corrupted and snapping through the bars. "I let the pure ones go when I have the time, but the corrupted ones are a hassle. They get bitey." I look up at Satan. "You get where I'm coming from?"
He looks me up and down again, frowing in confusion. "Wait, you're not Death." I shake my head. "He gave me his spare scythe though, with no instructions so it's kinda confusing."
Satan thinks for a second. "Are you mortal?" I nod my head. "I think so. Until I actually die we'll never know." He chuckles at this and holds his hand out. "Give me the corrupted ones, I could use a little snack."
I unhook them and release them from their cages. Satan quickly grabs them and swallows them all whole. I shudder a bit. He looks back down at me. "So, what was it that you wanted in return?"
I blink a few times. "Oh, yeah. That." I shrug, "Dunno, I just didn't really wanna carry them all around." Satan is silent for a while, obviously surprised. He crosses his arms and looks at my scythe. "If Death acknowledges you, I guess you are a pretty special kid. How about I offer you this."
He leans down and whispers in my ear. I perk up and nod my head enthusiastically. "That'd be great!" He chuckles and pats my shoulder. "Go have fun, kid."
Back in the mortal realm I pull up my hood and spin the scythe until it reduces into a cane. I emerge into the street, and suddenly the deal I made with the Devil pays off.
I can see the lost souls wandering, when before i could only take them from people. I run up to the closest one and reach out with the cane/scythe. It looks up at me, questioningly. Eventually it taps the cane with it's nose and is immediately transformed into a little glowing blue kitten.
I gently pick up the small creature and put it into a comfy birdcage alongside a small grey snake. Not wasting any time, I hurry up to the top of the seaside hill on the outskirts of town.
Setting down my cane I unclip the birdcages and open them one by one, releasing the lost souls into the wind. As they float away to the afterlife, I can almost hear their joyous laughter. They are free.
“In exchange for your soul, I can offer you - ” “No, I don’t want to sell my soul. I want to sell all these.”
Happy 3rd anniversary UNDERTALE
A couple of weeks ago, I a weird dream where I was watching some 90s cartoons? But as the dream was coming to an end , undertale was on the tv, vit was also a 90’s cartoon. It wasn’t even called undertale, it was called FRISK AND FRIENDS and it was a 1 hour special. As I’m watching this show, it looked like a mix of “Rocko’s Modern Life” and “Hey Arnold”. Obviously Frisk is there cause they are the main character, but none of the monster family is there and this made me EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE BECAUSE I THOUGHT BAD TIMES WERE GONNA HAPPEN. Until.... Some random ass kids show up and hangout with frisk. I’m here thinking, “Who the hell are these?”
Again , as this episode progresses I realize it’s the soul kids, cowboy, ballerina , little chef everyone is here. Episode is ending , something serious is happening. Cowboy out of no where gets a serious look at Frisk and says, “Frisk... it was nice hanging out with you, but I think there is something we need to show you.” They all lead frisk to a fenced door, play dramatic music, Frisk opens the door...
Season finale. It’s frisk’s birthday and everyone was waiting to throw a surprise party. It’s the end, and it pans to Frisk looking at the camera.
“ And to viewers like you.....thank you”.
Sevgi diyorum bazen. ne tatlı bir duygudur içten bir samimiyetle masuma verilince..
cute white paw..
Ahhh. One of my favorite horror motifs. Spooky mirror or spooky painting. Don't tell Dorian Grey tho...
These look cool. (I have not purchased them myself… just sharing in case anyone is interested. Link below.)
She watched the woman often. Well, there were many she watched in the haunting twilight between the world and the Mists where she was trapped, but some seemed to shine more brightly than others. Rae wasn't sure why.
She had been a girl, once, just sixteen. Lovely and in love. But that was gone now and something had snapped inside her when she died, some connection that left her lost, stranded. Wandering.
But the woman was interesting. She spoke harshly to some, gently to others. She laughed at herself. But not in a way that seemed a joke, and that made Rae sad. When the woman did so, usually all alone, Rae would hover near, an echo at her shoulder. The woman wouldn't see her, she knew, wouldn't feel her. But such a person shouldn't be left all alone, Rae thought.
And when the woman sat in front of her fire on the outskirts of nowhere, Rae sat beside her. Though her voice had not seen use for decades, she spoke, "You are not alone. You are still free. You should smile." The sound was a croak in her own ears and likely sounded like nothing more than the wind to the woman, but she had said it. Made it plain. That was all she could do for her, really.
Her obsession grew. She knew the woman would die, pass into the Mists and leave her alone again. But what else was there to do with eternity. So she followed this one that needed someone and had none. Another lost soul.
It took some time and some intense concentration, but eventually she was able to make out the woman's name from another person's lips, whispery and vague.
Though the name itself sounded like a whisper, even to Rae. She spoke it quietly beside her charge that night. "Ciara."
She’d never been on the sea before. But Ciara had gone and Rae had followed, curious and eager. She hovered near the woman — teal-haired now, she changed it at irregular intervals for reasons unknown — and watched the land disappear.
Rae wondered what the sea looked like in the real world. In her in-between place it was a sad slip of waves quickly lost to the fog. One night she looked over the edge and caught sight of her reflection in the water. It was curious to see herself again, but the image was gone after a moment.
Ciara was displeased. The crew was rowdy, and Rae stayed out of their way. She pressed close, watching Ciara’s face as she muttered her curses and disgust. Rae couldn’t rightly hear the words, not unless she concentrated very, very hard. And really, she could understand what Ciara was saying just by watching her. She had a very expressive face. Far too often it expressed little at all.
Sometimes Rae touched her, gliding ghostly fingers over her cheek just to pretend she could make the woman smile.
The battle was…strange. Hugely chaotic in a way that was felt more than heard. And as someone without a body, that was unique for Rae. She was close to Ciara, but there were little eruptions all around her, a brightness when someone died. Then the light faded, as it always did. When she had first died, she had watched many deaths, hoping to find another like her. She never did.
Rae turned at the feel of an explosion, the brightness of several nearby souls drawing her attention. And she saw a man charging Ciara with a rapier.
"Ciara!" she cried, tripping back past the woman. Rae didn’t know if she’d been heard or if Ciara merely sensed the attacker, but she turned and parried his blade, firing a shot through the man’s chin that almost immediately separated his spirit.
If she’d had a heart, it would have been pounding. As it was, she just felt shaky, the world a little out of focus. Except for Ciara. Rae scrambled to her feet and stayed near the woman, her anchor in the whirl.
She wasn’t able to save Ciara from all injuries. The woman racked up many and Rae winced to see all that precious blood flowing free. But Ciara didn’t seem to care. It was only when the fight was over that she appeared drained at all, but only at the edges. Only when no one else was looking. But Rae was always looking.
It was only when they were safe again that the world seemed to right itself, move from murky to clear. Rae scolded herself. She shouldn’t have come to sea. What would have happened if she’d fallen overboard? Or been caught in that murky time completely? But Ciara had stayed clear and focused the entire time. And she might have saved the woman’s life. That was worth a little risk, right?
Ciara, though, was still tensed, like a fist. One wrong move and she would jerk, hitting someone. Only with her pistols instead of her fist. Rae didn’t want to see that. Didn’t want to see her…whatever Ciara was to her, thrown overboard. She didn’t want to have to watch her drown. Or worse, get lost in the ocean’s depths with Ciara’s body.
"Calm, Ciara," Rae whispered, huddling close. She rubbed her hands, insubstantial, but she remembered it to be a soothing thing. She laid her head against Ciara’s back. "Calm down. You are safe. Relax. Rest. Soon you’ll be home. I’ll watch you till then," she promised. An easy thing. She needed no rest.
Carefully, Rae wrapped her arms around Ciara, holding her close, pretending that the woman accepted the embrace. It was comforting. “I’m here, Ciara. Just relax.”
She hoped the woman would somehow understand.
At night, on the ship, she could almost hear the real world. The creak of the timbers, the splash of the water against the hull, the faint sound of the wind in the sails...all of them seemed close at hand. So on the second night, with the moon shining down coldly, Rae concentrated on doing something she'd not done for a very long time.
Touching something.
Newly dead, she'd tried often, attempting to move objects, to press against people. Anything to show them she was there, more than just an odd draft, a strange feeling. It had cost her, making her feel even more ephemeral and weak for hours after. And she had rarely accomplished anything.
Rae wasn't sure if it was the presence of her person -- and she had begun to think of Ciara as hers in way that was more fond than possessive -- or the late hour or the utter silence, but she knew she had to try.
First, it was shifting a screw. She'd noted it when Ciara had settled down for the night. Now, she concentrated very hard, focusing all of her being on her hand. And gently, slowly she reached out and brushed her hand against the screw.
It twirled in a little circle for a moment before coming to a halt.
Rae had the biggest grin on her face. She turned to Ciara, wishing she could share her happiness with someone. But the only person she had didn't know she existed.
Scooting to the sleeping woman's side, Rae reached out again. She wasn't as tired as she'd expected and she wanted to touch Ciara. Show her gentleness and caring. Focusing on her hand, she brushed at the woman's forehead, sweeping a long lock of aqua hair away from her face.
The touch was electrifying. Warm in a way she didn't know she'd lost. And she felt stronger for having done so. She did it again, then a third time. Gentle caresses. But despite the strength she'd gained from touching the woman, she was still exhausted quickly.
Rae lay down beside Ciara, grinning and watching her sleep. "Thank you," she spoke. "You've given me back something I lost. Hope."
Things seem...different once they leave the boat. It's like the world is brighter. Rae keeps pace with Ciara, following the woman but also marveling at the things around her. The brilliance of the sunlight on water, the radiant color of flowers on the hillside, the depth of blue of Ciara's aqua eyes.
Rae sits just in front of her while the woman eats her meager rations. She follows the woman's eyes with her own, lowering her head to keep catching glimpses of that color. So beautiful. She's never seen such a thing. And she's pretty sure that's an accurate assessment, as another person's eyes never made her stop and stare, even when she was alive. Not just from the color.
"I wish I could tell you you're pretty," she says, the vocalizations feeling more natural now. She knows the woman can't hear her, but the sound of her own voice isn't so strange anymore. "I wish you could see it, because you're always so sad."
Like the impulsive girl she once was, Rae leaned forward and hugged Ciara, focusing on her arms, the feel of flesh against her indistinct body. It was momentary and she felt Ciara stiffen, but she sat back, grinning ridiculously. Just as on the ship, she felt better, more real after touching Ciara. She moved away, not wanting to startle the woman more than she already had.
But she was happy. For the first time in longer than she could remember, Rae was happy.
Ciara seemed to have a...fondness for getting herself into trouble. Rae noticed this, saw how the woman flung herself into danger, sometimes to save another, sometimes not. If she'd had a body and a heart within, she'd have said it made her heart pound.
The woman's bravery was without question. But sometimes Rae wondered if her methods weren't...too much. Too brazen. Without care for her own safety.
Far too often, Rae would be the only one sitting beside her as Ciara stitched yet another cut, wrapped yet another busted joint. "Ciara, you cannot keep hurting yourself so," she admonished, knowing her words wouldn't reach the woman, but wanting to say them anyway. "You must save a part of you for you."
With a steady hand, Rae touched Ciara just over her heart, pressed her hand there. As always, it was a rewarding jolt, a burst of energy and strength. A connection she'd never had with anyone else. "You are still important," she whispered, willing the words to be heard. Then she released the other woman.
Her eyes searched the lovely face, kept so blank most of the time except when she was alone. And then...always so sad. Rae drifted close, hovered as only a spectre could. She ran her hands over Ciara's hair comfortingly, pushing the locks away from her face. Touching her was always exhausting, but worth it.
After she did, Rae nearly felt...human. Like perhaps she could care about Ciara as more than just a connection to the world, a curiosity. An oddity that she had to share with no one else.
But then, where would she go anyway?
secrecy. on We Heart It. http://weheartit.com/entry/8002349?utm_campaign=share&utm_medium=image_share&utm_source=tumblr
It was all so beyond her control. Rae was used to being unable to interact with the world around her, but she wasn't used to caring that she couldn't.
Ciara had just seemed to explode with anger, the woman who had been so crystal clear to her becoming suddenly out of focus, swarmed by a miasma of red and black fog that seemed to contain dark lightning within.
Rae had been helpless as she watched Ciara attack the armored man savagely. Though she'd thrown herself at her, trying to touch her, to draw her out of it, something...the miasma wouldn't let her close. She was just a ghost again, with no power to interact. It was frightening. And it made Rae realize just how much she had come to depend on Ciara.
Once the woman was unconscious on the floor, Rae was sobbing uselessly beside her, begging Ciara's attackers to stop, even though she knew they couldn't hear her. The miasma clung in a way that was almost...smug.
She hated it. Almost as much as she hated her own helplessness.
Ciara was taken and patched up, then bound more completely than Rae had ever seen. The incessant machine noises would have been calming if she wasn't sure that the buzz was coming from the miasma that refused to leave Ciara.
Rae reached into it, but it shocked her fingers, a warning. She wasn't used to feeling anything and the sensation of pain was almost more startling than the fact that it fought back at all. After a few minutes of clutching her hand to her in shock, Rae moved back to Ciara's side. If the...thing could hurt her, maybe she could hurt it.
Ciara was awake and the buzz...was more like words now. It was distracted, Rae was sure of it. Making herself as solid as she could, she swept her arms through the cloud, trying to drag it from Ciara.
There was pain as soon as it realized, but Rae struggled through it. She pulled at the almost-present miasma, shoving it away from Ciara.
It took no thought to climb onto the table beside her, curl up around the woman in a protective fashion. She was crying, filling the air with the sounds of hurt and despair.
Rae was exhausted, but she stayed close, whispering to Ciara, "I'm here, I'm here. I won't let it hurt you. It's okay, Ciara. I'm here."
The Price of Insanity
Again.
The damn itch was starting up again.
Exhaling slowly, she focused her gaze on the oh-so-familiar ceiling of the subterranian lab and gave her wrists a light tug. Cable clinked against the edges of the bed, and her hands moved only a scant inch. Ciara had awoken to find Nighlla’s patience had obviously worn out and she was bound hand and foot.
…not to mention the straps above her breasts, over her stomach, her hips, thighs, knees and shins…
Unable to move, the thief was left to stare blankly at the ceiling and think.
…they could’ve chosen a more elaborate torture, but perhaps this was simply more elegant.
You see? This is what your approach to everything gets you. Really, it was much simpler before you let that charlatan toy with our connection. You had no troubles such as this when I held the reins.
Closing her eyes did nothing to block out the voice. Not that soft, insidious whisper that was liquid and enticing, purring in the back of her mind. Ciara knew attempting to knock herself out would be futile; there was no hard surface close enough to slam her skull against and the… whatever the hell she was hooked up to would start shrieking out high-pitched beeps if she held her breath.
It was easier, wasn’t it? Just letting me help you. Guide you through everything. I’m certain you could’ve gotten something more enjoyable out of that interesting little construct if you’d just let me handle it. Or were you eyeing that big Elonian that you took a nip out of? Handsome, wasn’t he? Ooo, or what about that sassy little redhead that came up to play ‘rescue Prince Charming’?
One slow breath in, one slow breath out, and she closed her eyes, blocking out the sight of the lab’s ceiling for the more familiar sensation of gazing into fathomless dark. The dark was welcoming and she would’ve fallen gratefully into it, into silent stillness, if not for that continual, laughing murmur.
I know how much you want to just give up, pet. You could. I’ll take care of everything for you. Handle it all. I could, if you like, give you the chance to roll in his blood. Go take back your woman from whatever upstart happens to be warming her bed. Perhaps having that little blue-haired tart on a chain would ease the cold, hm? Or money? Money enough and we could have everything we wish purchased and no harm done to anyone. You could simply buy your little blonde back. Give her everything she ever wanted.
Vaguely, Ciara could recall that simple message that had taken her down to the beach. When that… whatever she was had arrived, the thief had been looking across the bay, remembering that ridiculous duel which hadn’t ended, as she’d so hoped, in her death.
…probably not the best train of thought to be on when someone began asking questions about the Clubs. Or her work. Or him. Or looked at her and spoke of trust, of all things… Had it been then that she’d heard the sibilant voice rising beneath her thoughts, speaking the name she didn’t allow herself to consider. Ever.
…she had been trapped. Was trapped. Was still trapped.
A shudder worked down her spine that she was barely aware of, and when beeping rose, the redhead did not pay it any mind. Soft hissing filled her ears, rising with her own snarl in a crescendo that drowned out anything external. Muscles tensed as the redhead began to thrash anew, twisting her neck and curling her spine in an attempt to bite at the strap across her collarbones.
She didn’t know she was keening loudly.
…or that she was crying.
Rae had been distracted. Too many people, too much nearness and it eventually made her lose track of Ciara while she found a quiet spot to sink into. It was only for a night.
One night too many.
When she found the woman again, it was with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. Despite the rest, despite her happiness at seeing Ciara, it was all clouded. Like the miasma of red and black that surrounded her.
Rae rushed at it, trying to push it away as she did before, but she just heard a chuckle all around her.
Silly girl, said the sibilant voice whispered, did you think I would let you have her? She is mine.
"No!" Rae shouted, though the sound would be nothing but wind in the real world. "Let her go! She's not yours. She doesn't want you. You're...you're hurting her!"
The ghost slammed herself against the miasma, watching Ciara move from man to man with abandon. Rae cried, moaned, wailed, and none of it seemed to help. Nothing got through.
When the miasma finally started to clear, when the awful thing was sated, Rae was there.
"Ciara, Ciara please look at me," she begged, making herself as solid as possible, leaning over the woman with beautiful aqua eyes. "Don't let him do that to you. Ciara...I need you. You're not alone. I'm here for you. Always."
She wrapped her arms around the woman and hovered close. The next time she saw the red and black cloud, Rae vowed nothing would stop her from destroying it. Nothing.
Ciara was hers.
“I’m done with this. You’re boring and a waste of my time.”
It ran through her head, over and over again as she fingered the scorch mark on her discarded leggings. Ciara spat again, trying to get rid of that peculiar taste in her mouth, and dropped her forehead onto her left knee. Again, she saw Serenity’s smile as the echo of a pistol being cocked rang overly loud in her ears.
Again, she heard those words.
Again… She heard the gunfire.
I told you, sweetness… There’s only you and I.
Her jaw tensed, and without intending to, the thief broke into a bitter laugh.
That’s it, my love. I will never leave you. I will never discard you. Your choices cannot hurt me, and I… Well…
It was almost tangible, that echo of sensation, as if a warm hand stroked her cheek.
I will not let you be hurt anymore.
It was easier to be alone when you knew someone would be coming back to you. When you knew that being alone wasn't a permanent state. So when Ciara went walking, Rae let her. There was a kind of thrill in it, waiting for someone to return, to want to hold you and kiss you and talk to you when they did. It had been so long since she'd been human, she nearly didn't remember it.
The rabbit warren had fascinated her that morning, and she watched the growing babies emerge slowly and scout around, little hops barely getting them off the ground. She could observe them for hours, and when Ciara had told her she'd be back, Rae just smiled and waved her off, content in watching the little balls of fluff learn about the nature of life.
Another thing, though, was that she didn't dare move. She didn't want Ciara to be unable to find her. To lose her beloved when she'd only just found her...would break her in ways she didn't want to contemplate.
Ciara's voice drew her attention, though, and she looked over, brown hair bouncing, a bright smile on her lips. It grew larger as she saw the bouquet and listened to Ciara's request.
Rae's smile grew, if that were possible, and she rolled to her knees, then stood and carefully accepted the flowers. She knew how much concentration it took to hold them, much less tie the ribbon around them so carefully. She held them up to her nose, and though she didn't smell much, it was the gesture that was important.
"They're beautiful," she held them to her chest as she reached up and kissed Ciara on the cheek. "And I'd love to go for a walk with you."
It was hard to contain her giddiness, not to try to rush Ciara to their destination. Because, if she understood correctly, the journey was just as important. With her other hand she gripped Ciara's hand and fell into step beside her. "Have I told you lately how much I love being with you? How much you make me smile just by doing things like this?" she held out and admired the flowers again, grinning. "I couldn't ask for a better lover. Or a better friend." She gazed up at Ciara lovingly, tracing the familiar, beloved features with her eyes as they walked.
What do you do when you're lost? 😶
Anna and Hani - Laura Pajunen , 2021
This is drawing that I made... So... Yes, that's all.
ok, I'm not in Undertale fandom now but I found this drawing in my phone's storage so why not publish this?
it is redraw of my old art (you can still find it in my profile)