Macaque: So, Whats Your Cats Name?

Macaque: So, what’s your cat’s name?

Lady Bone Demon: Ebony.

Macaque, yelling to Azure Lion: TRY EBONY!

Azure Lion, on the computer: DIDN’T WORK!

Lady Bone Demon:

Macaque: What’s your favorite number?

Azure Lion: Without ugliness, there’d be no beauty in this world!

Lady Bone Demon: I suppose that’s true. Let us thank Macaque for his sacrifice.

An Unnecessary Evil

Why are girls allowed to say girlfriend to refer to a platonic friend but boys can't say "this is my boytoy Twink male wife Jason?

another part of the Au “where everything is exactly the same but Lady Bone Demon destroys everyone with facts and logic”

“You’ve been busy.”

Appearing strong when weak was, what Macaque considered a key component when in a bad spot. His “brothers” always considered him the most cowardly among them. Usually, he would roll his eyes and snark that he was rather the most intelligent- able to keep a cool head. He’d need it.

“Tell me,” The Lady’s voice was boundlessly more undone- calm, yet accompanied by a second presence that echoed her words aloud. “What madness overcame you that you would forsake your oath?” She asked, the pitch of her tone dropped.

“When did you decide to betray me?”

The answer to that question was certainly nothing that the bone witch wanted to hear- that he had not a moment of hesitation in tossing her key to the side, not ever any intention of freeing her in the first place. What was he supposed to say? That it didn’t count because he crossed his fingers?

“Listen, Lady Bone Demo-” He started, with a casual tone and a smile laced with nonexistent nonchalance, but The Lady was in no mood to hear whatever seat-of-his-pants lie he was planning to give her.

Sharply, her eyes flickered open, a blue gleam enforcing her stony glare as the winds pushed him back. He had to cover his face, anchoring his foot down to the ground so that he wouldn’t be pushed back by the sheer force.

“Have you forgotten who I am?” Her voice was louder now, and clearer, no longer accompanied by the eerie whispering. “What I am?”

He clenched his teeth at the sound of her voice splitting into many at the last sentence, each one ringing in his six ears.

“Were my instructions, perhaps, unclear to you, Liu’er?” At the mention of his traditional name, he felt similar to a child who’s parent who just called them downstairs with their full name. A fight-or-flight instinct within him begged him to inch away into the shadows, but he knew all too well how that would end.

“Did I cause you pain during your resurrection? Or perhaps, you felt yourself above a task so unbelievably simple as freeing me from my prison tomb,” She said, staring down at him, before vanishing in a blur of blue, before reappearing in front of him, mere inches away from his face just as quickly. “In exchange for something so unbelievably meager as your soul!?”

Again, her voice seemed to contort, and this time, he really did step back, trying to get as far away from her as he could. He stumbled backwards, bumping into the chest of the lady’s puppet, who sent him a wide, unnerving smile that reminded Macaque of a young child amused at a sibling or classmate getting in trouble.

He placed his hand on Macaque’s back, shoving him forward with surprising strength. The wind was knocked out of him for a moment, but he mustered a confident smirk, looking up at the bone demon, who stood before him, arms folded behind her back.

“So…” He said, a conscious effort going into keeping his voice steady, “You want something.”

“From you? No.” The lady said tersely, eyes cooling back into her host’s deep brown ones as she turned away. “There is nothing I have to gain from the presence of someone who is unable to insert a key into a keyhole.”

With her back turned, a white circle opened up beneath Macaque, chains in her signature blue color shooting out of it to entangle his limbs, dragging him inside. “Wait!” He huffed, yanking on the bindings, trying to stay afloat. “So you’re just going to kill me because I didn’t open your stupid cage!? You dragged me all the way out here so that you could get even!?”

The puppet lunged forward, grabbing Macaque by the hair and holding him down, smile wide with giddy anticipation of Macaque’s imposing death (the strange fellow didn’t seem to like him very much). The Lady turned her head, eyes narrow.

“Even?” She echoed, before her lips quirked upwards into a smile, and her brows creased before she let out a shrill laugh.

“If I wanted vengeance, my champion, then I wouldn’t grant you a painless death such as this.” She flickered out of view again, appearing in front of him as she crouched down to meet his eyes, a cold smile decorating the soft features of the child she was possessing- an eerie contrast.

“I would shrink you,” She said, holding her fingers close together to intimate being tiny.

“And find a nice jar to leave you trapped in for a few centuries. I’ll even find a nice blanket in the color of your choice to make sure you never get to look at the face of another sentient being. With that being the alternative, ask yourself,” She leaned down. “Wouldn’t you rather die?”

His lips parted in mild horror- but only for a moment as she leaned away from him. He struggled against the puppet, thrashing about, as if that would save him. “Wait, what do you want!?” He yelled. “I can find Wukong, and his brat too!”

She stood, turning away. “Goodbye, Six-Eared Macaque.” She said coolly. “Your magic will be going towards an excellent cause. You will be much happier in your next life.”

Macaque released a grunt of distress at her retreating form. Was that supposed to reassure him or something?

“Wait!” He yelled, disliking the frantic tone. Was he really about to die? “Damn it, Baigujing, listen for once!” After that, it was silent for a moment. The pull of the chains seemed to ease on his limbs, and the thrall was no longer shoving his head into the pit of doom.

“…You may speak.” She said tiredly, probably of him and his refusal to die with dignity, and baffled with the audacity he had to use her traditional name like they were old chums. “Do be quick about it. I do not have all day to listen to your pointless excuses.”

“Why do you think I didn’t free you? Probably because you never make room for reason in all your crazy ramblings about destiny,” He sneered.

Maybe insults weren’t his best option, but in Lady Bone Demon’s actions, there was always method to her madness. Maybe he could find some way to compromise if he could just get through to her, he could at least get out of this Scott-free.

“Is that so?” She hummed, turning her head to look away. “I suppose you would feel that way. I understand why many try and fight destiny- it is oftentimes cruel. What I do not understand why they fight the only solution to that problem.”

“The only solution is destroying the world?” He snapped. His voice came out a lot less “understanding” than he intended. We’re his acting skills slipping? She chuckled.

“And I suppose you’d prefer I leave it to it’s devices?” She mused. “That I allow war, famine, and crime to endlessly continue when I have the power to stop it all?”

“So you’re a Good Samaritan now? Let me guess, taking over this city was a necessary evil?” He mocked her aristocratic manner of speaking, able to rise to his feet again, as the chains had gone limp.

“Quite correct,” The Lady said, a hint of amusement in her tone. “And you, Six-Eared Macaque? Was destroying this city to get to Sun Wukong a necessary evil?”

He stopped, eyes knitting together at the question. “How do you…”

“My servant made it a point to update me on current events worldwide upon being freed from my tomb.” She answered quickly. He couldn’t see her, but he knew she was smiling.

“Don’t tell me the cat has your tongue now, Liu’er. What happened to all your newfound self-righteousness from before?”

He grit his teeth. “So, I’m not the crème de la crème of purity and goodness.” He said, fists clenched tight enough to draw blood. “You certainly aren’t any better than me. You’re the one who brought me back to life.”

She lightly laughed, and Macaque grew angrier by the second. She was still going to kill him after this, wasn’t she? He needed to get the upper hand, but…

“You’re quite quick to blame others, I notice. I presume that is also my fault that my little host was orphaned in that attack of yours?”

Macaque’s eyes widened. What? “What…?” He repeated his thoughts aloud, no louder than a whisper, but it didn’t go unheard by The Lady.

“I wasn’t trying to…” He trailed off. “But you did.” The Lady finished for him, titling her head upwards as she sighed. “I’ve seen selfishness and hatred far more intense than yours, Six-Eared Macaque.” The wicked amusement she had garnered earlier had faded. She turned to look at him, finally.

Her eyes seemed far too tired, and filled with far too much anger to be on the face of a little girl.

Her tone was cool as she looked above him, at the night sky. “But it will all be over soon.”

For a moment, all was quiet.

“Why’d you pick me?” He asked, after a moment. The Lady, seemingly brought back down to earth, hummed in question. “Anyone could have opened your tomb. But you went out of her way to pluck my soul out of the Diyu, specifically. Why?”

The Lady’s expression morphed into one of annoyance. “You’re only wondering this now?” She asked crossly. His expression didn’t change.

“I had decided not to tell you what I had planned to happen to you in your next life, but I suppose, if it will give you closure,” She hummed. “I can answer your last question.”

She’s really set on killing me… He thought wearily.

“There is one person who exists in this world who, with certainty, will not exist in the new one. Do you know to whom I am referring?”

“Wukong. Right,” Macaque answered. “Yes,” The Bone Lady sighed, closing her eyes. “But in the absence of the Great Sage, there will be a void that will need to be filled.” She spat the words “Great Sage” out as if a worm she’d found in an apple. (He understood finding the title obnoxious. Great Sage, Equal to Heaven? Give me a break.)

A void? Macaque thought for a moment. As in, an empty space that would need to be filled- someone to replace Wukong as the monkey king. MK? But…

Macaque’s head shot up. “You mean-!?” The Lady cut him off with a smile. “Interested now, are we?”

The next thing he knew, the chains were gone.

Au Where Everything is Exactly the Same but The Lady Bone Demon destroys everyone with facts and logic

It’s not even really an au. It’s just me being angry that the show hyped up Lady Bone Demon from the first season just to have her get murked by Sun Wukong.

“Even now, I sense you do not have what it takes to defeat me”. Girl what

So boom, collection of short stories in which I will rewrite scenes with her, and finally the fight between her and Sun Wukong, which will absolutely NOT be written in chronological order!

The first part is here, I will add more as I go.

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Name Calling

Alan Keane from TAWOG is definitely a Lady Bone Demon kinnie and no one can convince me otherwise This might become the first part to an au

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An Unnecessary Evil

Why are girls allowed to say girlfriend to refer to a platonic friend but boys can't say "this is my boytoy Twink male wife Jason? another

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The End

No these beginnings will never have anything to do with the story. Except for this one i guess Did you know that The Lady Bone Demon never

I Got an AU for y’all today.

Behold the 💙 White Lily 💙 Au

The fact that I have yet to see anyone make an au where Lady Bone Demon and her host have a wholesome relationship is a crime against nature, a crime against humanity, AND A CRIME AGAINST ME, SO YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT I’M GONNA DO IT MYSELF.

Thus the birth of ✨ The White Lily Au ✨

See I already had this very, very bad write-out attempt of it on wattpad but we’re gonna ignore it because it’s an hour and thirty seven minutes of GARBAGE

Anyhow, in this AU, Macaque does his friggin job for once and frees LBD like he was supposed to, albeit a little tiny bit late. I thought it was weird that the mayor waited 500 years before freeing her if he had the key, so for this au, we got the mayor HUNTING DOWN MACAQUE’S GOOFY SELF and dragging him to that tomb.

“you’re gonna open this tomb and you’re gonna like it, you ding dong dingaling”

So Macaque becomes a whole tomb raider to get the mayor out of his business, watch out LaUrA CRofT

And boom, 400 years early, our girl is back.

Because Macaque was WAY BETTER as a villain we’re gonna keep him that way. In this au, LBD plans to use Macaque to replace Monkey King in her new world, sounded like a good deal to him

But how can LBD complete her very nefarious plans without a proper host? Because she was freed 400 years early, her body hasn’t decayed yet, so she still has her original form, but it’s still pretty weak from imprisonment.

So an idea pops into her head. She should get a host! And since she’s got the extra time on her hands, she can afford to be picky!

She wants a host who’s strong enough to handle her full power, but she also wants a female child, as a disguise and to make people feel bad for trying to attack her. A willing host was preferred but definitely not a necessity. Kind of difficult to have all of those at the same time, so what does she do? She adopts a child, planning to train them to handle her full power so that she can have the perfect host to carry out her plans. She sees only one viable candidate for the position.

but so sorry for her, that candidate is an OBNOXIOUS 💙 GLUTTONOUS 💙 ANNOYING 💙 SPOILED 💙 PRETENTIOUS 💙 WHINY 💙 BRAT 💙 who just RADIATES youngest child energy, and is excellent at WHINING ❤️ COMPLAINING ❤️ THROWING TANTRUMS ❤️OVER THE SMALLEST LITTLE THINGS AND RUINING ❤️ MACAQUE’S LIFE.

LBD has her work cut out for her, because Bai He is a standard spoiled preschooler and the Lady Bone Demon hasn’t even SEEN a child in eons, much less understand them.

Anyhow this AU is adorable, with Macaque as the angsty oldest son, Mayor is the weird middle child and Bai He is the annoying youngest who always gets away with everything while LBD tiredly raises them all.