I Absolutely Fucking Hate It When My Parents Or Anyone Is Like Were Just Trying To Help You When In Reality

I absolutely fucking hate it when my parents or anyone is like “we’re just trying to help you” when in reality they’re just telling me shit I already know or are just straight up being ableist

I don’t need other people to tell me that the amount of pain I’m in isn’t normal.

I don’t need other people to tell me that I should lose weight.

I don’t need other people to tell me shit I already know about my own goddamn body.

I don’t need other people thinking they know my body better than I do.

I don’t need lectures on how using my mobility aids will hurt me in the long run. Like um excuse me these are keeping me from constant injuries and even more severe pain.

I don’t need other people to tell me I sleep too much. I fucking know that. I’m exhausted all the time and the only way to fix that is to sleep also get this I don’t feel my pain when I’m sleeping

I don’t need other people to tell me to exercise. Believe me I’m trying it just hurts too fucking much to do it regularly.

All I fucking did was tell my parents I’ve been dizzy all day because my heart rate has been up all day (thanks POTS) and they both fucking both start “talking” to me (really lecturing me) about all the shit I need to change and all the shit that they’re not comfortable with. What the fuck do you mean dad that you’re not comfortable with me being in pain??? And when I tell you that I use mobility aids to help alleviate that pain you say you’re not comfortable with that either. Who the fuck said you get to determine what’s best for me based on what makes you uncomfortable/comfortable??? It makes me, the person actually dealing with this shit (though if you asked my mom she’d say she deals with it too because I’m “an extension” of her), uncomfortable that they are imposing their opinions and ideas and feelings and ableism onto me.

Abled people do not get a fucking opinion about my goddamn body. I will take suggestions from people who actually listen to me and who have done the work and research to best help me and who aren’t obsessed with how I look to the outside world (my mom especially is obsessed with how we as a family look to the outside world absolutely obsessed and we have to be perfect and me being disabled doesn’t fit into her perfect little fantasy).

I honestly don’t even know how to engage in a productive conversation with them. They think they’re trying to have an “adult conversation” about it but when I tell them they’re not helping and that I already know everything they’re telling me and that what they see as helping me isn’t actually helping they just double down and call me out for being “immature” because I get really fucking frustrated because I’ve heard the same fucking things over and over and over again and again from them and myself and other people who quite frankly don’t get a goddamn say on my body. I told them if you think you can help tell me something I don’t already know or haven’t already tried and they just go “we’re just trying to help” like guys. You’re. Not. Helping. I’ve told you this so many times

Also this really hurt a lot more because I though my dad was more on my side than I guess he is. I thought it was just my mom who was so hell bent on being involved and giving me useless advice that quite frankly will just hurt me but nope it’s both of them and I fucking hate that.

All I wanted to do was help make dinner and now I’m alone in my room on the floor with my back against the door trying not to cry or punch something.

Also don’t get me wrong I love my parents and I’m super thankful for them but goddamn sometimes they’re so fucking infuriating

Why the fuck is it so hard for able bodied people to get their heads around the fact that specifically physically disabled people are not actually accommodated most of the time?

Whether it be the inaccessibility of a building due to stairs, heavy non auto doors, ramps that are too steep, broken elevators or just non existent elevators, etc the list goes on and on. Or now public spaces that let’s say are otherwise perfectly accessible are now inaccessible to so many people because so many people refuse to wear a fucking mask when it would cause then no harm (maybe just a bit of sweat) to wear one.

The fact that abled people don’t see just how fucked up and inaccessible the world is blows my fucking mind. Just because someone “can” do something or go somewhere doesn’t mean they should have to do that or that it’s safe for them to do so. Like sure I can do stairs but holy shit by the time I’m at the top I’m in so much pain and I feel like I’m gonna pass the fuck out man.

Bottom line, the world is really fucking inaccessible and that needs to be fixed. Physically disabled people’s voices need to be listened to and not talked over by ableds who think they know what’s best for us or who think the world is perfect as it is

Why does so much stuff involve the use of my fucking hands?

I use crutches the majority of the time to get around cause hahaha pain and instability and what not so my hands are like always full so if i want to do something that involves my hand or both hands I have to stop moving to do it. It’s so annoying!

Why the fuck does this dmv not have chairs (i know some dmvs do but in my experience they only gave them to seniors and people with children and those with visible disabilities and I don’t bring my mobility aids cause I’m worried probably for no reason of being some kind of denied or poorly treated or something idk ). I have been standing for an hour and I am in pain but I know if I sit on the ground I probably won’t be able to get up. gahhhh. also the accessible entrance is literally so far from the main entrance like wtf. Also also it’s hot in here cause if so many goddamn people

Why are spaces that are meant to accommodate so many different types of people so damn inaccessible

Having POTS fucking sucks all the time but especially in summer omg

It’s so hot out and I feel like I’m constantly on the verge of passing out (still haven’t though so I consider myself a little lucky) it feels like I’m running a goddamn marathon

Heat is fucking ableist i just want to go outside and not feel like I’m dying or going to pass out. Like sure being cold sucks and at a certain point it hurts like hell but for me at least heat and being hot is so much worse.

(I feel like I should note that technically the first bit of this (calling heat ableist) is a joke but I stand by it at the same time)

Is the high if the day 71 F? Yes. Do I still feel like that’s too hot? Also yes I will be sweating my fucking ass off and trying to walk as little as possible which is still more than I’d like cause I’m doing college classes this summer and the campus is massive.