Cyberpurseturtlepsychic - Witchy - Tumblr Blog

when i think about how it's october already i also think about blowing my head open with a shotgun

happy pisces season!

🧿

This post is for anyone who needs protection. As you cut chords, it can be worrisome and create anxiety. You are protected, cared for, and loved by the universe. No one can cause you harm going forward, and your ancestors or guides will take care of them.

L👀K AT THIS BABY !! ISNT SHE CUTE ?! SHES FUDGY AF TOO !!!

45 CAL MUG CAKE

This one’s chocolate & cinnamon flavour y’all.

This is a recipe I adapted from another recipe bc it was shit soo, here goes:

Ingredients:

1 tablespoon flour (28cal)

1/2 teaspoon baking powder (0cal)

1 teaspoon cacao powder (approx. 15cal, I used that raw Mayan superfood stuff but I’m sure any unsweetened cocoa powder would work)

1 teaspoon cinnamon (0cal, this wasn’t in the OG recipe but cinnamon has a laxative effect on me so bonus points for gettin muh bowels moooovin)

2 tablespoons zero cal sweetener (0cal)

1 tablespoon water (0cal, this was milk in the original recipe but milk is a ~fear food~ of mine so idfw milk)

Method:

Mix all the dry ingredients together (flour, baking powder, cacao powder, cinnamon, & sweetenerrr) and get rid of the floor/baking powder lumps cos they taste gross if they’re left in. It makes sort of a brown powder lookin thing.

Add the water and mix well until it’s smooooooooth af bby.

Microwave for 50 seconds.

Let it cool (it’s really fuckin hot) and enjoy! This is the most important step bitches.

This shit’s b o m b when you’re craving cake cos it’s just about the same texture and has a similar taste. You can of course add some vanilla extract if you wanna be ~fancy~, but I didn’t have any and I’m too lazy to go to the store lmao.

guys i almost fainted in the bus today - PSA

so i was standing in the bus and suddenly i felt like i was fading out of the real world. with every blink everything became more black and i didn’t feel my fingers, toes and lips. i turned to my sister and said „hey i don’t feel so good“ and she told someone to stand up so that i could sit down and gave me something to drink till we we‘re at the bus station where we had to switch the bus.

my dad came and picked me up. after we arrived at home i got a full mental breakdown about how i‘m afraid to fall asleep because i might not wake up again but at the same time i didn’t want to eat because i didn’t want to gain weight.

at the end i still ate a few grapes and some weetabix with milk but let me tell you i was still fucking scared to collapse again. i mean i need to admit the last 5 days i didn’t really eat because even if i didn’t eat above my cal limit i was still purging which is the reason why also didn’t drink enough as i thought i was.

so please girls and boys fucking hydrate enough it’s super important and don’t fast longer that 42h. always have water or a piece of fruit or a granola bar or something with you. in case you get dizzy (and i can not stress this enough) IMMEDIATELY EAT AND DRINK SOMETHING LIKE SIRIOUSLY YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT!!!

don’t ignore the signs of you body.

kurt + cats :]

Think you eat too much to have a problem?

Many active people (women included) eat 3000+ calories a day and stay plenty lean.

The recommended daily calorie intake is 2000 for women and 2500 for men.

The recommended daily calorie intake for weight loss is 1500 for women and 2000 for men.

A 5-year-old needs about 1400 calories or more every day.

The minimum daily calorie intake for a long-term diet without medical supervision is 1200 for women and 1800 for men. Eating less than that eventually leads to starvation mode (a real–yes, real–state of biological stress characterized by decreased metabolism, increased cortisol production, and heart, brain, organ, bone, and muscle damage).

A 2-year-old needs about 1000 calories or more every day.

Most people can’t even imagine eating 1000 calories in a day. You’ll get 1,357 Google results if you search for the exact phrase “1000 calories is way too low” or “1000 calories is way too little”…but you’ll get even more results if you Google the same phrases for 1200 calories, because few people consider dipping below 1200.

A 3-digit daily calorie intake puts you at high risk for binge-eating, slowed metabolism, bone and muscle loss, nutritional deficiencies, gastrointestinal issues, infertility, hair loss, mood swings, and depression. Oh–and sudden death.

900 calories is less than what a completely sedentary, 5'0", 80 lb, 70-year-old woman burns daily (keeping in mind that your metabolism slows with age).

A very low calorie diet, also known as a starvation diet, is 800 calories a day or less. It is prescribed by doctors to obesity patients who need to lose weight quickly, is specially formulated to be nutritionally complete, and is monitored by medical professionals to prevent sudden cardiac arrest and death. It is considered an extreme diet.

600 calories a day or less is literal starvation.

500 calories is less than the daily calorie needs of the average 1-month-old.

400 calories is less than the daily calorie needs of the average newborn.

300 calories is less than what the adult brain alone burns every day.

-Mod Lia

Don't ever hesitate. Reblog this. TUMBLR RULE. When you see it, REBLOG IT.

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My therapist asked me to create something “motivating” so I made these.

lol.

i want to live by the ocean but also in the forest but also in the mountains but also in a big city but also in the countryside u feel me

new drinking game idea! if you see this post you legally have to drink some water. self-care time bitch. consider this a threat.

everyone that is nice to me: thank you for being nice to me

Be the reason people still believe in kind hearts, authentic vibes and warm souls.

half of tumblr wants to fuck, the other half wants to die

♡ ethereal self care tips ♡

♡ sleep in rose gardens on moss beds under night sky ♡ ♡ bathe in honey ♡ ♡ twirl around your room in blush pink nightdress to studio ghibli playlists ♡ ♡ watch howl’s moving castle ♡ ♡ wander around barefoot in green soft grass ♡ ♡ eat lots of berries ♡ ♡ drink herbal teas with some good book in your hand ♡ ♡ go for a long walk and collect flowers and leafs you find to press them in your journal ♡ ♡ write prose, poetry and paint, create art ♡ ♡ make pure organic local honey face mask for your face & lips ♡ ♡ be brave little star, the world will reward you for all the pain you endured ♡

Siren Allure Spell

Sirens are dangerous creatures, who lure nearby sailors with their enchanting music and voices to shipwreck on the rocky coast of their island. This spell is used to bring allure to your speaking and singing voice, to enchant those around you.  It is best used when a witch is wanting to kill it at an interview, dominate a speech, or perform like the greatest diva.  And it is so simple!

YOU WILL REQUIRE:

–tablespoon of honey –bowl of sea salt –glass of water

SPELLWORK:

Begin outside.  (If you are near a body of water, this would be even better.)  Toss a pinch of salt in each of the four directions, saying: Northern sirens of rivers carving stone and dark depths, aid me. Eastern sirens of cliff drops into jetties and sea spray, aid me. Southern sirens of pale sands and hot lava rock, aid me. Western sirens of endless horizon and ancient shipwrecks, aid me.

Make a circle with the remaining sea salt, large enough for you to stand in, and step into it.  Shut your eyes.  Envision the tide rolling in over your toes, kissing your ankles, and drawing you out waist deep.  

Open your eyes and distribute your honey onto a spoon.  Recite the following chant: For words sweetened as fresh honey, for song as powerful as hurricane gales, for confidence as strong as undertow, for appearance as alluring as siren maidens. I am one with the sea and the sea is in me.

Consume the honey.  Let its warmth spread over your tongue, along your teeth, down your throat, and into your stomach.  Concentrate on that heat and feel it spread through your veins.

Taking your glass of water, drink the entirety of it.  When you are finished, say: My siren spell begins now and all will be enchanted.

Step out of the circle and your spell is complete.  It should last one full day.

Hope this helps, darlings!