I'm Here To Talk To You About Your Cars Extended Warranty

I'm here to talk to you about your cars extended warranty

ALIEN: ROMULUS behind the scenes •

Tony: Sometimes I think you were bred in a lab to help people.

Peter: You know what else they bred in a lab?

Tony: Steve.

Peter: I was gonna say pugs…

Let my boi cause chaos in peace

Tony, poking Peter with the end of a broomstick: Get off the ceiling!

Peter: Nuh uh!

Tony: Why not? What are you hiding?

Peter: I’m not hiding anything!

Tony; then get down!

Peter: no!

A call interrupts. Tony takes it: Hello? Yes, this is him. Ohhh did he now? Yes, I’ll talk to him about it.

Peter, horrified: I’m not coming down. Ever. I live up here now.

Tony: no, no. Peter, I would *love* to know why the principal of your school just called me AND TOLD ME YOU BLEW UP THE CHEM LAB AGAIN!

Peter: it wasn’t my fault!

Tony: FOURTH TIME THIS MONTH. FOURTH. TIME.

Peter: I’M SORRY! IT ISN’T MY FAULT!

(I see things like this a lot, so I decided to write my own 🤷)

He speedrunning getting his silver fox look

Tony: What the hell kid, you're covered in blood!?

Peter: Oh, my shirt? Don't worry I just spilled some paint 

Tony: God, don't scare me like that. Go change 

Peter: Don't worry I will. I just needed to show you this first 

*turns around*

Tony: How'd you get paint on the back of your shirt too?

Peter: Yeah those stains are blood. I was stabbed several times 

Tony: PETER-

How did an assassin miss a entire knife in his back?!

Tony: kid, you alright?

Peter: yeah, why are you asking? I’m right here with you playing minecraft.

Clint: yeah, Tony, stop being mother Hen.

Tony: fuck off, I feel like something is wrong. Look me in the eyes.

Peter: what? no?

Tony: Peter!

Peter: ahjak okay!

Tony, one second after looking at his kid: Friday, call Bruce, we’re heading towards Medbay!!

Client: you gotta be kidding? he’s completely fine!

Tony: ehh no, he has the “I was stabbed” look in his eyes.

Clint: no he’s not. that’s not a real thing.

Peter, bewildered: yeah, that’s not a real thi—

Friday: it appears to me that Mr. Parker-Stark jr. is losing his blood in exponential levels and he has some sharp object in his back.

Peter: the knife isn’t that sharp

Tony: PETER

Some more perfect beings