Midnight | Ljh

Midnight | ljh

pairing: jihoon x f!reader genre: angst word count: 2.1k summary: a sudden text leads you to the place you wished you never left warnings: death is a main plot point a/n: i've been m.i.a for a while now but i'm slowly getting back on track ~ really slowly ~ managed to write this last night so i hope you like it. thank you to @ressonancee for reading it for me💓

It’s a weird thought, dying. It was the kind of thought that often crossed your mind. What it would be like to die. Was it like flushing something down the toilet or turning off a lamp? One second and it was done, forgotten. Or was there something else so it was just a second of darkness before you were led to something else so incredible that it was hard even to imagine it? 

Maybe it was just a thought that never managed to leave your mind or perhaps it was because death seemed to be the central point of your life. Not only your life but everyone else’s lives. It was hard not to think about death when you may wake up one day and have it be your last day. It's hard not to feel scared to pick up the phone and see the text there, announcing one’s imminent death. 

Some days it was easy to forget about it all together. Days when life just hit the perfect amount of good, when it was just good enough that it could be overlooked, but not good enough so one could feel the storm down the line. It had been a long time since you had one of those. 

A good day.

You used to have plenty of them. Most of them were overlooked. You spent so much time just worrying about the smallest things, every little dust that seemed to be out of place, that you failed to see the good. You had taken it all for granted until it wasn’t yours anymore. 

Unlike most nights, when you’d wait until midnight to make sure you didn’t get the text, just to make sure that you had another day to live, you fell asleep. This weird state of numbness in which sleep was the only possible course of action. Dreamless and sound sleep, a good one. 

Yet, when you finally woke up to a text on your phone, it wasn’t scary. You had always expected that getting it would feel like doomsday had finally come, at least to you. But somehow, it was just a day. The sun shone brightly outside your window, the birds were chirping, and the kids laughed on the playground. 

To you, it was your final day. To everyone else, it was just a day. A normal, bright, sunny July day like any other. 

You didn’t make phone calls or somehow announce your death to everyone you knew, though that was probably the most responsible and respectful thing you could have done. Somehow, you didn’t want anyone to know. You want to go like you had come into this world, silently. Your mother used to say that you only cried after the doctor hit you a couple of times until you finally made a sound. You were a quiet child, she said, sometimes I’d just watch you play by yourself for hours, just to make sure that you were really there. 

All you did was put on your sunny dress, the light pink one that hit just above your knees, take your ID - which you were likely to need - and leave your apartment. You took one last look around, at the green couch you had chosen despite the protests of everyone around you, at the bookshelf filled with books that you had yet to read, the little decorations you had bought over the years that were a nightmare to clean but oh so pretty to look at.

“It was a good run, thank you”

Although dying was a constant thought, what you’d do when you found out about your death wasn’t. What you would do in those last 24 hours, where would you go, who would you see? 

Your mother was a clear and obvious no. Even if you went just for a visit, she’d know. You had never been able to lie to her. A programmed text was all that you’d allow yourself to give her and your friends. It was selfish, you knew that. You should give them time to say goodbye, they were the ones who would suffer, and they would be the ones left behind. 

You knew all of that, but couldn’t bring yourself to do anything about it.

You didn’t have a clear place to go in mind, you just wanted to walk. At first, you thought that it was aimlessly. And it was until it wasn’t. Until you reached the building you were all too familiar with, one where you had spent years of your life coming to, like it was your second home, until you didn’t. 

Taking a deep breath you pushed the door open. You weren't too sure of what you expected to find, but Jihoon right in front of you wasn’t one of them. It was too early for him to be there. His days usually started after noon, and that was still early, barely ten in the morning. So why was he there? 

“Hey,” he said. 

You wanted to urge him to keep talking. Anything at all was fine. His grocery list, all the planets in the solar system, counting from 0 to a million, a scary book. Anything. You just wanted to keep hearing his voice. You missed it. Six months without it, without him. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, eyes scanning your face, your teary eyes. 

When did the lump in your throat happen?  Why were you on the verge of tears? 

For five years of your life, Jihoon was a constant. You used to float around him, adapting to him, clinging to him, loving him. Until he wasn’t. Until there was nothing left of him in your life but the memories you had made together. 

“I know… I know that I shouldn’t be here, that we agreed that we’d never seek each other out again” you pulled as much air into your lungs as you possibly could “But just for today, can you please let me stay?”

For the first time in your life, you didn’t mind how vulnerable you sounded. For once you didn’t mind using your pain to get what you wanted and needed. And you needed Jihoon like you needed him every day.

“What’s going on?”

Jihoon took a step towards you, hand raised on the same level as your face as if he would reach for you at any second. Would it be wrong to silently pray that he would? Would it be possible to wish for something so fervently? 

“Please, Jihoon, please. I need this just today. I promise I’ll never come to you again” you begged him, eyes closed when he never touched you. 

“I… yeah, okay. Just don’t…” he seemed distressed, but agreed either way. 

“Interrupt,” you said completing his sentence “I know”

Jihoon was never a bad boyfriend and you like to think that you weren’t a bad girlfriend either. People don’t stay five years together if they hate each other, or at least you thought so. You know you wouldn’t. And Jihoon wasn’t someone one could hate. He was serious and quiet, yes, of course, but he was also kind and warmhearted. He would quietly do things while thinking of you like leaving an extra hoodie in his studio in case you got cold, always having a hair elastic around his wrist because you always seemed to forget yours somewhere, like writing the words he found it difficult to say in a song and send it to you in the middle of the day – something that made you cry in your office desk. 

Like death, it was difficult to pinpoint when your relationship had ended. You were able to talk about issues, and then talking became screaming. Love songs, written most beautifully, became filled with resentment and anger. You were together and then you weren’t. 

He was yours and then he wasn’t. 

You watched the back of his head while he worked, listening to his fingers quickly tapping on the keyboard, sitting in the very same spot you used to. The extra hoodie was still neatly folded in the corner, the little box that used to be filled with your hair ties was still next to the coffee mug. When he reached for it you noticed that the back elastic was still around his wrist. 

The smoke of jealousy burned your throat, rising from the twisting pit of flames that your stomach had become. 

You shouldn’t feel bitter over it, had no right to be angry at him for moving on. Still, you allowed the feeling to sip into you, allowing the flames and smoke to take over your veins. It was your last day on earth, breathing, you should be allowed to hate the man you loved, even if it was just for a second. 

“Hey, you wake up”

You came to your senses with a gasp, eyes wide, gripping the hand on your shoulder for dear life. You wished for it to save you, to just pull you back. 

Jihoon’s eyes looked back at yours, filled with worry. His eyes too, were wide, mouth open in surprise. You relaxed your body against the couch again and took a couple of seconds to just look at him, to memorize him. 

If there was a place after this life, if there wasn’t just nothing after it, he was someone you’d want to remember. Your mother believed that the people in our lives are souls we choose to meet during the course of human life. If that was true, if you had a choice, you hoped to meet Jihoon again. 

“Sorry, I fell asleep” 

You cleared your throat, forcing your body to sit up and in the process pushing Jihoon away from you. The spot he had touched in your shoulder felt oddly warm, compared to the rest of your body. You wanted to ask him to touch you again, hold you again.

“It’s fine, you were probably tired”

Jihoon held back the desire to ask questions, to demand answers. He knew when you parted ways that he would never see you again, that if he did it would be by chance and there was no chance of you talking to him again. 

He had never seen you like that, eyes lost, sounding desperate. He didn’t have it in him to tell you to leave, he didn’t want to either. If a small moment with you, in silence, was all he had then he was more than happy to accept it.  

“Thank you for today. And, as I said, this won’t happen again”

You got up, running your hands over your dress, helplessly trying to smooth the wrinkles in your dress. He wanted to ask you to stay, invite you to dinner, ask if you were doing fine — although, if your restless sleep was a sign of anything, fine wasn’t one of them. 

“Okay” was all he managed to say before you almost fled his studio. 

Your steps were quick and you opted for the stairs instead of the elevator. It was only the second floor, you could go down a few flights of stairs.

It was already dark out when you pushed open the door, there were only a few cars in the street and only a couple of people rushing somewhere. A little bell inside your mind went off, like an alarm, like it said that you only had an hour left. 

“Wait!”

Jihoon rushed out of the building, turning his head side to side, trying to find you again. You simply stood there awkwardly, hand to sides of your body. 

“I… you… did you get the text?” 

A part of your brain told you to tell him the truth, to just cry and grieve the loss of your own life in front of him, let him hug you like you knew he would. But the other part, the one that was ego-driven, didn’t want the last image of you Jihoon ever saw to be a broken one. 

“No, no” you waved your hands in front of yourself, doing your best to smile reassuringly at him “I just had the worst night of my life and you were the only person I could think of”

“Oh” he furrowed his eyebrows at you, head slightly tilted to the side

“Sorry for just showing up, I know how much you hate that”

You smiled again, this time more naturally, a calmness settling into you. 

“You’re okay though, right?” his eyes were focused on your shaking hands when he took a step forward, and at the same time you took one back “Do you need anything? I can take you home if you want”

“No, it’s fine. I’m fine” you were quick to add

“I’ll see you around then, I guess”

Please, god, you prayed silently, let me meet Jihoon again in my next life. 

“Bye, Jihoon”

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a night in berlin—-l.sm

♡ pairing: lee seokmin x fem!reader ♡genre: established relationship with idol!seokmin ♡wc: 1.2k ♡warnings: 18+ MDNI, oral [m. receiving], cum eating, fingering, switch!seokmin, switch!reader, praise kink , pet names, teasing ♡a/n: this can be read as a part 2 of distance makes the heart grow fonder or a stand alone but i did have that couple in mind when i was writing this!! inspired by the absolute snack lee seokmin was today at lolla berlin ♡tags: @seungkw1 @myhimbomingi

He glows on stage, he always does, today is no different. The air on the festival grounds is humid, his sweat glistening on his forehead and dampening his hair. His energy was electric and you couldn’t wait to get your hands on him. 

By the time Aju Nice started up for the third time, you firmly believed the song was a punishment from God himself. Just your luck, they decided to punish you so many times you lose count. However, lucky for you, they do have to leave the stage at some point, and the minute you see your boyfriend disappear backstage you’re slipping through the crowd. 

The door to the hotel suite unlocks and opens quickly after you got there. The shining smile of your boyfriend, Lee Seokmin, was the first you see when he comes through the door. 

“Darling!” he pulls you into a tight hug, kissing the top of your head, “did you enjoy the set?” 

“Mhmm…” you mumble into his chest, not particularly caring about his sweat soaking his shirt, “You looked so good, Minnie” you felt him smile against your hair at your comment. 

Snaking your hands up around his neck you pull him into a heated kiss. Momentarily surprised, Seokmin took a moment to return your enthusiasm. You swipe your tongue along his bottom lip, greedily requesting access. Whining slightly Seokmin breaks the kiss, 

“Baby…” he sighs, “I need to take a shower” 

“Don’t let me stop you” you huff, untangling yourself from him.  You cross your arms and plop down on the bed, not looking at him.  

“I…” he panicked, “I’ll be so fast, then…then you can have your way with me” he promised. You didn’t respond, better to let him squirm a little.  Realizing he wouldn’t get a reaction out of you that easily he all but ran to the bathroom.  The water turns on quickly afterward and you hear Seokmin shuffling out of his sweaty clothes.  

After a few minutes you figure he is in the large shower by now, letting the warm water run off his tanned skin, loosening his muscles that were well used on stage today. The visual caused you to unconsciously squeeze your thighs together.  Sighing, you decided that was enough waiting for the both of you.  Your shirt was over your head and discarded on the floor before you reached the bathroom door.  

Pulling back the curtain you see Seokmin, eyes closed, under the water, his beautiful cock on full display, buried in his fist.  

“If you needed help you could have just asked,” you remarked, startling Seokmin.  

“Baby…” his eyes snapped open, quickly taking in the fact that you are, in fact, naked, “I tried to wait but…I’m sorry” he whined.  

“It’s okay Minnie,” you climbed into the shower in front of him, “you’ve had a long day,” you positioned yourself with your back to the water and turned Seokmin to face you, “let me help you,” you pouted at him.  You take his trim waist in your hands, “You’ll let me help you won’t you?” you looked up at him, already sinking to your knees, to which Seokmin could only nod, following your sinking form with his eyes.  

Once you were comfortably on your knees on the floor of the large shower stall you replaced his hand with your own.  You gave him a few cursory pumps and ran your tongue against the prominent vein that runs along the underside of the shaft.  These actions earned you more whines from the man above you, “You have such a beautiful cock, Minnie” he had no time to respond to your compliment before you were taking him into your mouth.  

“Oh-” Seokmin breathed, eyes closing immediately and his hand finding the top of your wet head.  You hollowed out your cheeks and took him deeper.  Seokmin gave you time to adjust, as always.  Soon though he was thrusting down your throat, you bobbed your head in order to keep pace with him.  “I do-don’t think I’ll last too long” he informed you, which of course, you took as a challenge and let him shove his cock down your throat until your nose was touching his skin.  “Oh my God” he let out breathy moans and whines.  You thanked the heavens that this was happening in the shower so he couldn’t see that his cock brought you to tears.  

His hips began to sputter and you could tell he was so close to his release.  Having his reactions memorized shouldn’t surprise you anymore but you still aren’t humble when hot strings of cum begin to hit the back of your throat.  You swallow all he gives you and softly suck as you pull back from him, making sure not to waste a single drop.  

He pulls you up, switching your positioning as he does, his back now to the water and your back against his chest.  His lips are on your neck before you have the time to process the movement.   

“You did so well,” he mumbled against your neck, “you always do so well” he praises.  His large hands start to roam your body, one of them stopping on your breast.  He squeezes it in his hand and then moves to pinch your nipple.  A nice purple bruise is forming under his lips at your neck.  His other hand moves ever lower until the pads of his fingers brush your sensitive clit.  You suck in a breath at the contact, “Sensitive already?” he mumbles.  

His fingers circle your clit with slightly more pressure as his other hand continues to tweak your nipple, earning him breathy whines and moans from your mouth.  The hand on your breast moves down your body, squeezing your hip on the way.  He continues his ruminations on your clit and lines up his fingers of the other hand at your entrance.  

“Please” you whine.  

“Please what?” you can hear the smirk in his voice.  

“I need you inside of me, please” with that Seokmin pushes two fingers inside.  Just as you have Seokmin memorized, he has your body mapped out.  He curls his fingers skillfully to reach the spongy spot inside you.  He pumps his fingers in and out, and it isn’t long before you feel the coil in your stomach tighten.  

Seokmin continues to pump his fingers and toy with your clit, it is almost too much.  “Let go, darling,” he whispers breathlessly into your ear.  The coil snaps, your vision is blurred with water and pleasure coursing through you.  Seokmin continues to pump his fingers in and out throughout your climax.  Slowly, he pulls his fingers out and turns you around and presses a sloppy kiss to your lips, he can taste himself in your mouth still but he doesn’t care.  

After a moment of you both coming down from your highs he reaches for your shampoo.  He squeezes some out into his hand and turns you around again.  “Let’s get out of here so we can go to bed,” all you can do is nod while he lathers the shampoo into your hair. 

dokyeom sighs when you finish massaging his hands, but more in defeat than in relief.

"there you go, love", you announce, kissing his forehead before getting up to clean your own hands.

dokyeom sadly looks down at his palms, covered in a white cream. his doctor said he should try this new one, that maybe it would help better with his eczema - and even though he's always so positive, it still sucks to have to go through all this. again.

"how is it?"

"it's okay, i guess. it's not hurting anymore, the bits where my skin opened", he sighs. "how long do i have to be with this again?"

"about 20 minutes, then you can wash it off and apply the other one."

dokyeom just nods. yeah, well, at least it wasn't that bad-

"i know you hate this, but it's okay", you tell him, drying your hands on a towel. "it happens."

"i know", he looks up at you.

again, you lean down to kiss him - on his lips, this time -, and walks out of the bathroom.

"are you hungry? i can make us some dinner."

"wait for about 20 minutes, then we can cook together."

"i'm not letting you c-"

"there are gloves for a reason, darling", dokyeom chuckles. "please? cooking date?"

for the first time tonight, it's your turn to sigh. how can you say no to lee seokmin?

a/n: i hope his eczema gets better again, take care, dokyeomie ❤️🍒.

[ 1 6 : 1 5 ]

You can barely see Seokmin's watery eyes, both because of the darkness of the movie theatre and your own tears.

Neither of you had expected this romantic movie to be sad—but this did explain the good reviews it had online.

“Baby,” you whisper, leaning towards him to grab his attention.

Seokmin looks down at you, blotting away his tears with a sheepish smile. You reach over and take hold of his arm, hugging it tight before turning back to the screen.

Double BaeCation

Feat. Cheol and cheol bae

A/N: After way too long.. I have finally gotten to make this sequel to Being Loved by Shua . There's a lot of space to be delulu and fill in the blanks cause it's mostly a montage-esqu kinda thing. I hope you enjoy. As always, feedback is very much welcome. 22 slides and an itty bitty written part

Warnings: one suggestive text bubble

After the boys found you two giggling behind the funnel cake stand, you all went back to the hotel.

Joshua helped you out of your shoes and guided you over to the balcony.

It's only been two days and you already felt better now that you were with him, in his arms. the entire time that you've been with your boyfriend, he has made sure to check in with you all the way. Be it what you ate, what you felt, what you wanted to do or even what you wanted to say. But if you still felt some type of way about interrupting some sort of balance in his work life, he'd flick your forehead lovingly, grab the sides of your face and cutely, aggressively kiss your the same spot.

He wrapped the little throw blanket around your arms and pulled your back flush to his chest, strong arms secure around your waist and your hands intertwined with his.

"I'm so happy you came. You have no idea, darling." He spoke softly against your temple, lips planting a lingering kiss on the spot.

The smile you had on since he angily tugged you away from his leaders girlfriend and into his hold, has yet to disappear. If anything it's stretched wider than before.

"I'm happy I'm here, with you." You responded, leaning your head against him and looking up at him. "I feel so safe and and at ease with you like this. I don't ever want us to be apart for this long again, please." You furrow your brows a little bit. feeling slightly embarrassed for sounding needy or clingy.

But Joshua doesn't think so at all. In fact, he looks at you like you hung all the stars in the sky. A hand reaching to angle your jaw so he could lean down and kiss your nose then lips. "I've got you, baby." He kisses you again just a little deeper. "Daddy's got you."

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