MASTERLIST

MASTERLIST

Brain farts:

Imagine it’s raining (feat. hilichurl :D) chill fluff

That smile…(Diluc Ragnvindr) horror??

THE FIERCEST SEA GOD (Genshin hcs for a Cala Maria! God! Reader) crack

Big brain creations:

Your guardian friend- You are isekai’d to Teyvat and manage to save Kunikuzushi from his future.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Socks???

((My special talent is headphones..-commence Vinyl Scratch cosplay-))

THE FIERCEST SEA GOD

Summary: The acolytes with a Cala Maria! God! Reader

Genre: Crack

Warning: Fish organs, Morax gets uno reversed and becomes stone. Reader kills.

This is crack. Just crack hcs

Idea by this✨✨

Okay so, listen mate. You probably need to surround your cave with as much raging sea as possible.

Seriously the amount of acolytes that just break in and invade your privacy is ungodly.

Go away I ain’t got time for you-

Why do they even show up with gifts you literally destroyed their ships and killed thousands???

Stop dumping gold and weird looking human stuff at the door I don’t even need them.

Just wait till the find out you like squid livers…oh god WHY IS THERE A PILE OF SQUID LIVERS AT YOUR DOOR-

The archons are the most persistent and annoying of them all tho.

Remember the pirate that got turned into stone??? Yeah except it was Morax. Opposite Day for him ig.

“Your grace, it is I, your loyal servant, Morax.” The god of contracts bows down on his luxurious looking ship. You merely scowl in annoyance. Good lord it’s another one of those offerings…

“Your grace, may I offer you this fine gold and these precious ores as a symbol of my devotion! I ca-“

“You talk too much.” And with that you cut Morax off and turned him into stone. The other acolytes that were present screamed in horror as you dived back into the sea made sure to leave a massive wave with your giant tail to tumble the ship.

Part 1

It’s been a month and half since you and Kunikuzushi met. He was cautious of you at first (because duh you just abducted him) but started warming up slowly. Heck you two aren’t even stuck together. He could have walked away anytime but for some reason, he stayed. Maybe he really believes you are his “guardian friend”?

But yeah, using your in game powers you teleported yourselves out of Inazuma and into Mondstadt because Inazuma was anything but safe.

So now, here you two are, residing in a temporary home in Springvale. Both of you accompanying each other in your daily shenanigans. You however, keep an eye on Kunikuzushi because he is as innocent and naïve as a small child.

___________________

“Hey Kuni, could you go and fetch some berries from the garden?”, Kunikuzushi heard your voice call out from the kitchen. It was a sunny morning. The sky was a beautiful blue sheet with the perfect amount of clouds floating around the sun. A perfect weather to relax in your backyard, exactly what Kuni was doing.

“Sure!”, he answered back and got up. The backyard had a small yet sweet garden with a few fruits and veggies patches. There was of course a thick berry bush.

Kunikuzushi picked up a nearby basket and began picking some berries, carefully picking the ripe ones. Once he was done, he turned around to leave and-

*SQUEAK*

???

It came from the bushes….Kunikuzushi stopped and listened.

….

*SQUEAK*

Is there a rodent in the bushes? That can’t be good. Y/n said that they are bad for crops…

Carefully setting his basket aside, he approached the bush. Hesitantly, he stretched his hand and inspected inside-

!!!

Inside the bush, was a small electro slime, stuck between thorny branches. The poor thing was shaking. It looked pleadingly at Kunikuzushi. Begging him for help with his “teary” eyes.

Usually Kunikuzushi has seen how dangerous slimes can be. But this one was so small…so vulnerable…he wanted to help it…

He carefully grabbed the smooth part of the thorny branches and began removing them away from the slime. He was slow during the whole process in order to not startle the slime because if he did then I’ll get hurt by the other branches around it.

After what felt like an hour, he finally managed to free the slime. It jumped out of the bush happily and stared at him with sparkly eyes that said “my hero”.

“There, you are free now. I think you should go home, come on shoo!” Kunikuzushi tried to shoo the slime away but it continued staring at him.

He awkwardly gazed around until he decided to get up and go. As he was walking towards the door he felt something bump his leg. He stopped.

…..

The slime was still there and it was lovingly nuzzling itself against his leg. Kunikuzushi has never felt so confused in his life.

__________________

“Hey Kuni, why were you out for so long? Did you get the b- OH MY GOD!”

Here we see, a wild Kunikuzushi with a wild electro slime in his arms standing awkwardly next to the kitchen table. The sight reminded you of a child with a stray puppy about to ask if “we can keep it”.

“Listen, don’t panic, I can expl-“

“It’s so cute!” You cooed at the little blob who tilted it’s “head” at you mildly confused. The slime wasn’t the only one as Kunikuzushi also had the matching expression.

“Where did you find it?”, you asked as you gently took the little slime in your arms, cradling and stroking it. It purred in delight.

“O-oh it was stuck in the berry bush. I freed it but now it won’t leave me alone…” Kunikuzushi looked away and rubbed his neck.

“So can we keep it?” He looked at you with small puppy eyes.

“Only if it wants to stay with us”, you stated.

Kunikuzushi stared while processing what you just said. Then, he gently took the slime back in his arms and-

“Do you want to stay with us little slime?” He asked while looking into it’s eyes.

The slime had no definite face, only two round eyes. But one could still tell the overloading happiness emitting from it. The slime squeaked in joy and buried itself into Kunikuzushi’s chest so hard he stumbled.

“Woah- haha I guess you do!”

“Aw look at you! You just became a slime daddy!”, you cooed at him.

“A what now-“

“A slime daddy!”

“I…am a parenteral figure to this slime?” Oh my god he was so cute.

“Haha no no, it’s pretty normal to adopt different creature and claim to be their parent.” You pat his head.

“Oh, I guess then I’m your slime daddy then?” He held the slime up in air as it squeaked what seemed to be a “yes”.

He smiled…that smile then turned into a fit of giggles, and those giggles turned into hearty laughs as he hugged the slime. It was beautiful seeing him laugh like that…it was so contagious that you started laughing as well. The slime only snuggled into his embrace, enjoying the sweet atmosphere.

________________

“So…watcha planning to name it?”, the slime had no name. You wondered for possible names as you, Kunikuzushi and the slime cuddled together on the couch while reading a book and enjoying the berry ice cream you made.

“Hmm…any ideas?” He also pondered.

“Well I think you should name it since you found it.”

“Uh…I have no idea…”

“No idea huh? Well how about Kuni jr?” You grinned at him as he flushed in embarrassment.

“Wha-“

“Or…kuni-kuni?” He turned even redder.

“S-stop!”

“Or, how ab-“

“Bu!”

“???”

“I’m gonna name them Bu…” he declared, his cheeks still red.

“Oh…watcha think Bu?” You asked the slime. Bu seemed to be approving of that name.

“Well then, welcome to our family Bu.”

_____________________

Here part 3

Taglist:

@angryhope @hana-chie @twst-123 @depressed-bitchy-demon @milza12 @inlovewithwaffles @shizunxie @koi-chairowo

yes yes yes

yes

yes yes

Forgotten

Part 2

Warnings: mentions of death, traveller almost dies, so does Paimon, foul language, violence, weird monsters not from Teyvat??

Notes: hahahah exams *dies*

Here part 1

Summary: You die stopping your brothers form fighting, but somehow live? You lose all memory of them tho and get transported to another relam. And then you meet four years later.

Four years later…

Location: Dawn Winery, Mondstadt

Time: 1:00 am.

Footsteps echoed in the dark halls. They belonged to none other than the Darknight hero. Why was he up so late though? God knows. The walking continues. Everybody is asleep except him, who just came back from his usual abyssal creature hunting. He still keeps walking…until he stops when his eyes land on a room at the end of the hall. A room that had been locked for the past four years. He forcefully tore his eyes away from that room. He’s already tired and doesn’t need the reminder of a tragedy.

———————————

Time: 8:23 am

Location: The Adventures Guild, Mondstadt City

“Ad Astra Abyssosque! Traveler, just the person who I was looking for!” Katheryne greeted them with a warm smile.

“Let Paimon guess…another super duper dangerous commission that needs the traveller’s help huh?” The floating fairy huffed and crossed her arms. Her guess was true though because that’s what has been happening for the past few times. The traveller merely gave a curious expression.“What is it about?” they asked.

“I’m glad you asked, this is a major commission and no other adventures, no matter how experienced, could not complete it. In fact, they are yet to be back.” Katheryne gave a sad expression.

“W-what do you mean “yet to be back”?! Did they get lost or something? Did they-“ Paimon gasped at the thought.

“Paimon, calm down it can’t be that bad, right?” the traveler tried to calm the panicking pixie but also fell into doubt. What is it this time?

“The condition of the adventures is unknown. We lost all contact with them and can’t tell wether they are dead or alive. It’s like they disappeared from the face of Teyvat.”

“EEEK! THATS SCARY AAHHH NOPE NOPE-“ Paimon shrieked and hid behind the traveler.

“Paimon we literally did fight god on a daily basis come on it can’t be that bad. Say Katheryne, what is this commission anyways?” the traveler asked. They were curious. Who knows? Maybe disappearing people could be some abyss problem. And where there is abyss, there is sibling. There is a small chance.

“Yes ahem, There has been suspicious activity going on in the thousand winds temple. The most we know is that there has been a giant pit with no end and that whoever falls in it never returns. A few abyss mages have also been spotted at this site. Other info…”Katheryne filled them with the details while traveler and Paimon got the worse déjà vú. They just came back from their adventure from the chasm. What’s with this place and cursed pits?!

But they did catch a glimpse of their sibling in that chasm…and there were abyss mages there so this is definitely their doing. Who knows, maybe they’ll find something else that’s useful on their quest to find their sibling.

“…is all I can fill you with regarding this commission. Do you wish to acce-“

“I accept this commission.” The traveler said. They were determined and confident that this will help them.

“TRAVELER WE JUST CAME BACK FROM A CURSED PIT WHY DO Y-“

“I knew I could count on you! Ad Astra Abyssosque traveler, good luck!” Katheryne gleefully wished them.

“STOP CUTTING PAIMON OFF!” Paimon angrily stomped her foot on air.

“Don’t worry Pai, it can’t be that bad!”

——————————————

Time: ???

Location: ???

It was really bad.

Why did they even accept this commission? Traveler and Paimon wonder as they are injured, surrounded and outnumbered by creatures they can’t even begin to describe.

They look like humans but horribly mutated. Some were giants with heads too large for their bodies. Some were small but had oversized or undersized limbs. Some had no limbs. Some were missing a whole half of their bodies. Some were just parts of bodies. All of them had one thing in common though, one ugly white eye on random parts of their “bodies”.

How did they even end up in this hell of Teyvat?

——————————

Time: 10:14 am

Location: Thousand Winds Temple

“I think this is the site of commission. Look there’s the cursed pit!”

The traveler and Paimon arrived where Katheryne had directed them to. Funnily enough there were no abyss mages or any monsters in sight there. It was oddly peaceful. The sun was shining, there were no clouds, the animals were scurrying around looking for food! It made them feel at ease.

“Huh, looks like an ordinary pit to Paimon, except it seems to be really really deep. Wonder what caused this..” Paimon and traveler stopped at the edge of the pit. True, it seemed ordinary with zero magical traces around it. The only problem was that it’s diameter was unsettlingly large, large enough to drop Azdaha in it. How did this even appear here in the first place? They were thinking of the possibilities until….

Everything went black.

——————————

“…er”

…..

“….aveler”

……

“TRAVELER!”

Traveler jumped awake. What happened?!?

“Traveler thank archons you are awake!” Paimon cried and hugged them. She was trembling and and seemed terrified. Traveler hugged them and rubbed her back to soothe her. They looked around. Where are they…?

It seemed to be the thousand winds temple but disturbing. Very disturbing. The sky was red. The sun or what seemed to be it was covered by a large black object whose darkness was oozing around the sky like veins. It only provided a dim source of red light. Looking at the ground and surroundings. The ruins were even more broken. There were thick black vines everywhere. The trees were dry and completely covered by such vines. No animals or signs of life nearby.

“Paimon…w-where are we..?” Traveler managed to gasp out as they stared in horror. Was this some sort of dream? The pain in their whole body said otherwise.

“P-paimon doesn’t know! The l-last thing Paimon s-saw before b-b-blacking out was us f-falling!” Paimon said between her tears. Now a pit formed in traveler’s stomach. Did they fall in that pit…?

That can’t be good…they need to get out of he-

A figure interrupted traveler’s thoughts. Someone was there. Someone was approaching them in the temple. They felt hope. Maybe this person can answer their questions! Their hope however, was quickly turned into horror when the figure came close enough to be properly observed.

And when observed, it was anything but human.

——————————

No matter how many times they hacked and slashed at these creatures, no damage was done. They kept healing. Some cut off parts multiplied into new creatures. Elemental power wasn’t working at all.

The traveler and Paimon were hopeless and on the verge of death.

——————————

Some where at a distance…

A group of 5 stared at the commotion by the traveler.

“Looks like we got new faces here. And they don’t seem to be welcomed properly.” A voice from the group spoke.

“I sure can see that. Jeez they sure are putting up a fight.” A second voice huffed.

“Are we gonna help them or leave them as zombie food?” A third voice asked.

“Of course we have to! Can’t you see the condition they are in?!? It will be a shame if that cute little pixie dies!” A fourth voice shrieked out.

“Well we are still full on supplies. Y’all up?” ….the fifth voice spoke.

“Fuck yeah!”

“Let’s do this!”

“Don’t worry little pixie!”

“LETS GOOOOO-“

——————————

Traveler fell to their knees. They were too broken to fight. Paimon helplessly clung onto their head, crying and shouting something they couldn’t hear. It was no use…the monsters kept coming and coming. Maybe this is how they die, huh? There was nobody to save th-

BOOM

A large explosion just happened, clearing a massive amount of the monsters swarming them! From the smoke, five silhouettes appeared. They didn’t have time to react as the silhouettes quickly jumped to battle. They were effectively taking down those monsters like they were slimes.

One of them was moving so fast it appeared as if they teleported ambushed the enemies. Another, used a large cannon to shoot large masses of energy and blew the monsters into pieces. Third, used a a sharp whip, whose strike cut the creatures into shreds. The fourth one, they were some sort of toxic gas making enemies drop dead. Lastly the fifth one attacked bombs.

Soon the all monsters were cleared and only their ashes remained.

——————————

The figures approached the traveler and their pixie. Traveler’s eyes were on the brink of closing yet they still held Paimon protectively. One of the figures crouched down next to them to inspect them. It was the fifth one.

Traveler finally saw their face. They had round yet fierce (e/c) eyes and short messy (h/c) hair. Their face was littered with scars of burns and cuts. Could it be because of explosion accidents? Who is this person…?

Soon traveler blacked out.

——————————

Time: 5:00 pm.

Location: Dawn Winery, Mondstadt

Traveler woke up with a loud gasp. Pausing for a moment, the took deep breaths and observed their surroundings. It’s Dawn Winery? What are they doing here? WAIT WHERE IS PAIMON??

The jumped out of bed, half clothed and patched up. They didn’t care. Need Paimon safe.

They slammed open the door. And that caught the attention of master Diluc and his pixie companion downstairs.

“Traveler you’re awake!” Paimon shrieked happily and flew up to hug them. They were washed with relieved and hugged Paimon back.

“Are you okay Paimon? Are you hurt? What happened?”

“Calm down will ya? Turns out Paimon also blacked out with you. Then, when she woke up, she was here! Turns out Master Diluc was out on his Captain Pyro duties near the temple because of the abyss mages and he found us there.”

“It seems you are awake, but I advise you go back to bed and lay down. Your injuries aren’t healed yet.” It was Diluc this time. He glanced up at the traveler by then looked away blushing because they were only half clothed

“A-ahem, also your clothes are by your bed. Feel free to call Adelinde for help.”

“GASP MASTER DILUC DONT LOOK AT THE TRAVELER!” Paimon screeched trying to cover them up.

“M-my apologies…” Diluc merely walked away flushed.

“Whew t-that was awkward…you know I should probably go dress properly…” traveler rubbed their cheek in embarrassment.

“Okie dokie! Paimon will be off to explore the winery so cya later!” Paimon gave a thumbs up and then proceeded to disappear to god knows where.

Before heading back to the room, something caught the traveler’s eye. It was a door at the end of the hall. The door was open and the room was dark. Something was calling them. They didn’t want to snoop but their gut was begging them to go, and so the let their feet carry them to that room.

——————————

It was a simple room yet dusty room. Spiders probably live here now. There was a a window at the end and a bed under it. A few drawings and plushies laid on the shelf. Everything had a heavy layer of dust.

‘Must be a child’s room…’ they thought. They looked around until something made them stop dead. On the floor, was a picture. Traveler picked it up.

It was the picture of three children, hugging and laughing innocently on a tree. On the left end was none other than Master Diluc in his youth. His eyes were so big and cute! On the right end was…Kaeya? He seemed kinda scared being on top of a tree. It was strange seeing those two together like that. Wonder what their history was…

Finally between them, was an unknown child with cute round eyes like Diluc’s. Traveler stared at them for a while. And then…it clicked.

——————————

“MASTER DILUC! MASTER DILUC!”

Diluc heard the traveler shout his name. He turned around and here they were, panting and huffing.

“Traveler is everything alright?” He asks concerned.

“Listen, please don’t get mad but this is important. I-I saw a room at the end of a hall a-and I didn’t mean t-to-“

“Listen, I won’t get mad, just calm down. Take deep breaths and take your time to speak.” Diluc calmed and reassured the traveler. How could they possibly get him mad? He thought.

The traveler took a few breaths and then spoke.

“Listen, I didn’t mean to snoop but the room at the end of the hall, it was open and for some reason I felt the urge to go there. I saw a picture on the ground an-“ before they could finish a dark shadow formed over Diluc. All of his warm reassuring look was gone.

“I prefer not to talk about it.” He simply stated with a hollow look.

“No no, please hear me out! The child in the mid-“ the traveler tried to finish.

“Please go back to rest.” Diluc turned around ready to leave. Frustrated, the traveler shouted-

“THEY SAVED MY LIFE JUST A WHILE AGO.”

With that, Diluc froze at where he stood.