Also That Lil Goat Was The Most Precious, Pure, Angelic Being In All Of Creation And I Am SO PROUD OF

Also that lil goat was the most precious, pure, angelic being in all of creation and I am SO PROUD OF THEM.

Fuck. Fuck, that rejection had been quick and complete. Blitz stood there for a moment, watching her go and just--fuck. Trying to process. What had he done wrong? Was it the affection behind the kiss? Behind all of this? Was she just embarrassed that he'd kissed her in front of people? His face burned in shame at the thought, memories of Ozzie's returning the humiliation all over again. A hand pulled away then, a body shoved away now. Was it really so different? People might want him in private, but in public...?

No. Fuck that. Blitz shut that thought down, reminding himself of everything he was starting to understand, all the little pieces he was starting to put together about her. Sure, it wasn't the whole picture, and he probably had put some pieces in the wrong places, but this woman? This woman was hurting inside. She was fighting to, what? Be left alone to suffer?

Was that what she really wanted?

If so, maybe there was a solution. Not a big solution, it wouldn't get them talking, because he wasn't about to spring serious emotional topics on someone during an S&M scene, but maybe it would help her. Maybe it would help them.

Blitz hurried to catch up. Reaching out, he grabbed her by the wrist to turn her to him--then immediately came up with a new plan. They were so damn close to the wall, he just pushed her against it. Not hard, and he sure as hell deserved a knee to the groin for it, but god damn it, he was going to fight, not beg, because if he begged with her? Visage was going to walk. She was going to let the darkness within rush up and take her, whatever it was from, whatever had happened, and she might never come out. So although this kind of roughness wasn't usually how he even considered treating his partners who were women, especially the ones who had been assigned female identifies at birth? He was doing it now. Holding her pinned, looking up, his eyes locked onto hers.

"Do you want to be punished, Viz? Is that what--"

No. Don't ask the rest of that, he told himself. If he asked it, she'd slam whatever part of her heart maybe wasn't already closed and locked. Stick to the filth. Stick to the physical. He shook his head, trying for a safer tactic. Well, emotionally safer for her--hopefully safe enough. Fuck, even if he couldn't do anything else for her, maybe he could give her this? A night of just goddamn surrendering, of stepping outside her pain?

Punishment she didn't deserve, for some crime she had probably never committed, but punishment he'd offer gladly if it would ease any of that ache that was slowly but surely fucking killing her, unless he was extremely fucking mistaken about what was happening with his baby.

So, forcing his tone to warm into something more playful and less emotional, Blitz shook his head.

"Couldn't figure it out at first, why you've been the way you have. But then I realized, maybe you're trying to show me you want to play. Maybe... you're being a brat. Looking for punishment. And maybe tonight, once you're free? You text me, I send you an address, and you show up, ready to check out for the night. We'll talk boundaries, I'll tell you..." The spade of his tail slid up her side, every bit as strong and dexterous as one of his hands, before slipping around her waist, "what I want to do to you. And for once, you don't think. Or feel. Or worry. You just let me blindfold you, and be there. Be my very, very good Visage."

Be mine and I will do anything and everything for you. Whatever it takes. Will a night of forgetting help you learn to trust me? Will it help you breathe, give you a moment of peace, away from the memories of Dhallia?

The sound of fast-approaching boot falls soon contrasted against the beat of the music strongly enough to warn the hellhound of Blitz's approach ... but not before he was already upon her, her head snapping up from her blank stare towards the table. Before she could even react, he was pulling her into a deep kiss that left her feeling emotionally concussed. Oh, they had shared more than a few hot and heavy kisses throughout their time together, it was true, but this ... was something entirely new that she didn't know how to process. This wasn't raw desire, this was something far more earnest ... and she once again found herself caught between painful longing and the instinctive need to run. This was danger ... this was vulnerability ... this was more than she deserved. Not from him, not from anyone. Not ever again. She'd had her chance and it was gone now. And you only have yourself to blame. It cut her like a knife to do it, but she sighed and shifted him off her lap while simultaneously sliding out of the booth to get to her feet, an expression somewhere pained grimace and an annoyed scowl creasing her lupine features. "Didn't I tell you that I'd call you after I got off work tonight...?" Too close. He was far too close. Physically, emotionally, in every conceivable way--down into the very marrow of her bones that did nothing but serve to further weigh down an anguished soul that was already far too heavy for any sane person to carry. To withdraw was a mercy, Visage convinced herself. Blitz only wanted her because he had yet to see the real her. The wounded wretch cowering pitifully beneath the badass party girl facade that everyone expected of her. It was better this way. It had to be this way. And yet... ...Even as she found herself starting to turn to walk towards the rear exit of the club--already mentally mapping her escape route towards the hallway that held the front door to her 'apartment'--some weak sentimental piece of her couldn't help but hope against all hope that even in the face of this rejection ... he would follow. For even as every cell in her body screamed 'Run and don't look back,' there remained the quietest of whispers, fragile and pleading, murmuring 'Don't give up on me.'

I want Ghostfuckers to come out just for the chance to see Blitz in this fit, serving so much rizz that it should be illegal.

That's it, that's the post.

"I can sorry the fuck outta people! Just you watch! I sorried Fizz so hard he cried! And I can sorry more people, everyone but you! 'Cause I don't owe you dick!"

HELLUVA BOSS 2.09 - Apology Tour

"What in Hell would possess you to neuter yourself?"

Putting this one under a cut and adding a trigger warning for SA & trauma:

"My father sold me like, multiple fucking times when I was a child. And a teenager. And maybe you don't know about the whole birds and the bees thing, but let me tell you, when you're not a willing fucking participant and years later someone tells you oh yeah, remember that one time? Yeah I had a kid. What do you mean what happened to him, I dumped his ass in the Pit. Kind of inspires you to just never--

"I don't--

"I don't want to father any more children. Even the fucking thought of it..." Blitz frowned and shook his head, looking out the window for a long, long time before he finally looked back at Parak. "What happened to me wasn't a one and done thing where it just traumatizes you one fucking time and then you get to forget it. That shit? Never is. For any of us. But when there's a fucking kid involved? It hurts. Every time you think about it. It just... fuck. I don't--

"My kid is almost twenty-two. He's fourteen years younger than me. And every time I think about it, I remember all the shit I didn't want. The fucking hands. The smug look on my dad's fucking face when I'd come home." Blitz looked the same as ever--tense and relaxed at once, angry and careless--but his hands were in tight fists where he had them tucked in against his chest, and his breathing was a little shallower, tighter. Controlled--too controlled. Controlled, because if he didn't keep himself together, he'd fall the fuck apart whenever this shit came up, and Blitz was tired of that. He was so tired of a monster from the past still being able to affect him now. It was bullshit. It always had been and it always would be--

But it being bullshit didn't erase the scars or ease the worst part of it all, the part he could never bring himself to vocalize to anyone: the shame. The deep, choking sense of shame, as if it was somehow his fault, as if it always had been. Logic couldn't ease that shame away. Knowing it wasn't his fault couldn't make it feel any less embarrassing, any less humiliating. So, his face burned, his stomach felt tight, and his heart felt like it was stuttering, but he just kept his gaze fixed out the window.

[context for curious readers who didn't pick it up in his headcanon posts, but Blitz had a vasectomy a long, long time ago, and has no plans to ever reverse it. it's not something he is open to negotiating on, and i as a roleplayer will not be playing any "accidents" happening. Blitz still uses condoms, every time.]

This is adorable without context

With context though....😶