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Danny with Jazz Like the final colors

To-cat-ata in B by sympawnies

anon: Something for TFP StarWaveWave conspiracy AU you talked about on tumblr?

I would like to personally thank this ko-fi commissioner for ensuring that I was incapable of thinking about anything else at all today; and secondarily thank @kurxo​ for accidentally indirectly inspiring this by drawing Starscream being friendly with Soundwave and Shockwave. Fic based on that fanart and some posts I made a few days ago about a potential Starscream + Soundwave + Shockwave conspiracy to overthrow Megatron; this fic is a setup for how such an alliance could come to be. The related posts are tagged #starwavewave conspiracy

If he’d stopped to think about it beforehand, Soundwave would have expected the hardest part of starting a mutinous conspiracy to be convincing himself that he wanted to help Starscream to overthrow Megatron. Certainly, that was the slowest part. Convincing Shockwave had been much easier. But no—it turned out that the trickiest bit of the whole thing was convincing Starscream that he wanted to overthrow Megatron.

###

“Thank You For Listening, Soundwave”

###

“Legend tells that it holds the power to revive the dead,” Starscream said.

Megatron replied, “We require only a cadaver to be certain. Are you willing to make the ultimate sacrifice?” and Starscream cringed away from him, laughing nervously, deflecting the question.

Soundwave recorded.

Soundwave hadn’t realized until that moment that so much of what he disliked about Starscream was how he shrank and shriveled and cowered in fear.

He hadn’t realized until that moment that—even faced by the most highly-trained Autobot guerrilla force in history, by energon shortages and hungry soldiers, by carving out secret strongholds for the Decepticons on an alien world—he hadn’t seen Starscream cringe once in the last three years.

Until now.

Keep reading

New AO3 Tag Wrangling Policy and the Transformers Fandom

(This is a long one, folks, but I think it's important.)

A new tag-wrangling policy on AO3 has the potential to create some massive confusion and chaos in the Transformers fanfic community, with regards to fandom tags. There is a Reddit post about it here with a focus on anime fandoms, but I want to give some concrete examples for the Transformers fandom on why we DO NOT WANT this, and why I think it's a horrible idea.

The Problem

Basically, AO3 is looking to get rid of the "All Media Types" fandom tag across the board, either by dismantling them or just not maintaining them. The Transformers - All Media Types tag has been an all-purpose tag that you could select when your story doesn't fall into any one specific continuity. Additionally, all most (see below) TF continuities on AO3 are considered a subtag of the Transformers - All Media Types tag. For example, if you look at the link above for all works in the All Media Types tag, you will see fics that are also tagged ONLY with Transformers: Animated, because it falls under the All Media Types tag.

One exception: With the upcoming Transformers: One movie coming out imminently, there will likely be a big influx of stories tagged with Transformers: One. In fact, there are several already. However, it hasn't been linked to the larger Transformers - All Media Types tag yet. I wasn't worrying about it though, because I know these things can take time.

With information about this new tagging policy, however, I'm now wondering whether it'll EVER get linked to the All Media Types tag. If that happens, and when more continuities are developed in the coming years (since you know Hasbro loves creating new universes) this has the potential to cause massive confusion when looking for stories to read.

Searching for Stories with the New Tagging System

So let's say the All Media Types fandom tag isn't accurate anymore, because it no longer includes ALL of the continuities (such as TF:One). You will need to include ALL the Transformers continuities when browsing for TF fics.

How many tags is that? Well, here are all of the tags currently listed under the Transformers - All Media Types tag:

Note that this doesn't include Transformers: One since it hasn't been categorized yet.

You will potentially have to have 40 or more different fandom tags in your search, just in case the author tagged their story with something you weren't expecting.

This massively decreases the findability of a story.

Tagging with the New System

The email response from the Tag Wrangling group (see the linked Reddit post above) seems to be a bit flip in the response to the user's concern. "...encourages creators to tag with the media they intend."

While I appreciate what they are attempting to do, this policy change feels like a solution in search of a problem, especially in larger fandoms with multiple continuities, versions, and media types that are all cross-pollinated in both canon and fanon. While I'm focusing on Transformers fandom, imagine a creator in the DC comic universe writing a story that incorporates bits and pieces from a dozen different reboots.

For example, let's say that I am writing a fic about Ratchet. I am using the setting of the original G1 episodes, but I also am using the characterization of him as a bit of an old man grump. That characterization originated in the Animated continuity, but I want to incorporate bits of pieces of his other characterizations as well (old friend of Optimus from TFP, Ratchet ran a faction-free clinic like he did in the War for Cybertron series, he's got a Decepticon boyfriend like in IDW1 - or maybe even Cyberverse, etc.)

With this new tagging structure, I might potentially have to tag the story with ALL of those continuities. So instead of just slapping down the "All Media Types" tag (and maybe one other fandom tag that matches the characters as best I can), I'll have to analyze my story and try to figure out how best to tag for the characters I used.

And what if you're doing a completely AU version of the story? For example, a humanformers story, or merformers? Using the All Media Types tag along with a Alternate Universe - Human or Alternate Universe - Mermaid tag worked perfectly, since you weren't writing the story to fit into one specific continuity. But now, that might not be an option.

What To Do??

The first thing I would suggest is to contact AO3 (using the Feedback and Support page) and let them know (nicely) that you think this is a horrible idea. Give them some examples on how you use the All Media Types tag to find stories to read, or to help you tag a story. People outside of the Transformers fandom don't always appreciate how absolutely tangled the continuities can be with each other, and providing examples might help them see why this would be a really messy change.

Readers: Be aware that when you are looking in the All Media Types tag, it will no longer show newer continuities. And if AO3 starts dismantling that tag like they suggested they are doing, be aware that some stories won't show up in that tag like they used to. You can also create and then bookmark a custom search page that includes all 40+ continuities. REALLY annoying, but it's a workaround.

Writers: Until they start dismantling the All Media Types tag, ALWAYS ALWAYS tag your stories using Transformers - All Media Types... Especially for newer continuities. This will be especially important if you are writing a Transformers: One story. Right now, anyone who is only browsing the All Media Types tag will not see a story tagged only with Transformers: One. Make sure you're aware of how tags work and how they can affect the visibility and findability of your story.

Epilogue

Ugh. That's a lot of words for a long-weekend Saturday. And maybe I'm overreacting a tiny bit. But my work involves information architecture, and this change just absolutely baffles me. It's almost as though they want to make it harder to find stories. Considering that AO3 won a Hugo partially because of its fantastic tagging system, this change seems like AO3 is doing its best to shoot itself in the foot.

When you have a square hole, a round hole, and a rectangular hole… Yeah, you DO want each peg to go in the "right" hole. But if all of the pegs fit in the square hole, who cares? You got the job done.

I love you @ao3org, but please reconsider this change... Especially for IPs that are as old and are as varied as Transformers.

A father and his children

Ok so my kid had an ear infection, right? As kids often do.

The doctor scraped out a bit of earwax to have a better look inside.

I was sent a bill for $200 PER EAR for this 5 second procedure which I did not give permission for them to do.

That was key- they did not ASK me if they could do this "procedure". And, as I OWN a medical practice (it's me. The medical practice is me, sitting in my house on video calls) I knew to call them when this bill came in to be like "You did not obtain informed consent for this procedure, and it was not en emergency procedure. You had full ability to gain my consent and didn't. I'm not paying."

And the massive hospital who owned the bill said "yuh-huh you do have to pay."

And I said "I own a practice. I know these laws. I do not owe you money for this."

And they conducted an "internal review" and SURPRISE! Decided I totally owed them money and they had never done anything wrong ever.

And so I called my state's Attorney General office, and explained the situation because, as I mentioned, I know the law. The AG got in touch within a couple days to say they were taking the case and would send the massive hospital conglomerate a knock it off, guys letter.

Lo and Behold, today I have a letter where said hospital graciously has agreed to forfeit the payment.

"How not to get screwed over by companies" should be part of civics class.

Know your rights and know who to call when they're infringed on. This whole process cost me $0 and honestly less effort than I would have expected.

May this knowledge find its way to someone else who can use it.

I took a creative writing class my freshman year and the amount of students who used AI for their work was astounding. and I honestly don’t get it. why sign up to be in a CREATIVE WRITING class if you need to rely on AI to write for you. it’s stupid.

people like the writer aesthetic but dont want to put work into actually improving their writing. joining a creative writing class? oh! that’s a perfect way to improve! that’s why I joined the class. oh? you joined because you wanted something to brag about to your friends and family? that’s STUPID. people are STUPID.

and who knows, maybe one day these people might become actual “writers”. maybe they’ll spend enough time on chatGPT to get something that even comes close to resembling the blood sweat and tears that other authors—real authors put into their writing. maybe they’ll become famous for it. become a staple in history. meanwhile all the writers who actually cared about writing are left behind without a pot to piss in.

“oh this is so good!” it’s actually miles and miles of code. it’s laziness wrapped in pretty words topped with the pen name of a STUPID person.

i need to get this out of my head before i continue clone^2 but danny being the first batkid. Like, standard procedure stuff: his parents and sister die, danny ends up with Vlad Masters. He drags him along to stereotypical galas and stuff; Danny is not having a good time.

He ends up going to one of the Wayne Galas being hosted ever since elusive Bruce Wayne has returned to Gotham. Vlad is crowing about having this opportunity as he's been wanting to sink his claws into the company for a long while now. Danny is too busy grieving to care what he wants.

And like most Galas, once Vlad is done showing him off to the other socialites and the like, he disappears. Off to a dark corner, or to one of the many balconies; doesn't matter. There he runs into said star of the show, Bruce who is still young, has been Batman for at least a year at this point, but still getting used to all these damn people and socializing. He's stepped off to hide for a few minutes before stepping back into the shark tank.

And he runs into a kid with circles under his eyes and a dull gleam in them. Familiar, like looking into a mirror.

Danny tries to excuse himself, he hasn't stopped crying since his parents died and it's been months. He rubs his eyes and stands up, and stumbles over a half-hearted apology to Mister Wayne. Some of Vlad's etiquette lessons kicking in.

Bruce is awkward, but he softens. "That's alright, lad," he says, pulling up some of that Brucie Wayne confidence, "I was just coming out here to get some fresh air."

There's a little pressing; Bruce asks who he's here with, Danny says, voice quiet and grief-stricken, that he's with his godfather Vlad Masters. Bruce asks him if he knows where he is, and Danny tells him he does. Bruce offers to leave, Danny tells him to do whatever he wants.

It ends with Bruce staying, standing off to the side with Danny in silence. Neither of them say a word, and Danny eventually leaves first in that same silence.

Bruce looks into Vlad Masters after everything is over, his interest piqued. He finds news about him taking in Danny Fenton: he looks into Danny Fenton. He finds news articles about his parents' deaths, their occupations, everything he can get his hands on.

At the next gala, he sees Danny again. And he looks the same as ever: quiet like a ghost, just as pale, and full of grief. Bruce sits in silence with him again for nearly ten minutes before he strikes a conversation.

"Do you like to do anything?"

Nothing. Just silence.

Bruce isn't quite sure what to do: comfort is not his forte, and Danny doesn't know him. He's smart enough to know that. So he starts talking about other things; anything he can think of that Brucie Wayne might say, that also wasn't inappropriate for a kid to hear.

Danny says nothing the entire time, and is again the first to leave.

Bruce watches from a distance as he intercts with Vlad Masters; how Vlad Masters interacts with him. He doesn't like what he sees: Vlad Masters keeps a hand on Danny's shoulder like one would hold onto the collar of a dog. He parades him around like a trophy he won.

And there are moments, when someone gets too close or when someone tries to shake Danny's hand, of deep possessiveness that flints over Vlad Masters' eyes. Like a dragon guarding a horde.

He plays the act of doting godfather well: but Bruce knows a liar when he sees one. Like recognizes like.

Danny is dull-eyed and blank faced the entire time; he looks miserable.

So Bruce tries to host more parties; if only so that he can talk to Danny alone. Vlad seems all too happy to attend, toting Danny along like a ribbon, and on the dot every hour, Danny slips away to somewhere to hide. Bruce appears twenty minutes later.

"I was looking into your godfather's company," he says one night, trying to think of more things to say. Some nights all they do is sit in silence. "Some of my shareholders were thinking of partnering up--"

"Don't."

He stops. Danny hardly says a word to him, he doesn't even look at him -- he's sitting on the ground, his head in his knees. Like he's trying to hide from the world. But he's looking, blue eyes piercing up at Bruce.

Bruce tilts his head, practiced puppy-like. "Pardon?"

"Don't." Danny says, strongly. "Don't make any deals with Vlad."

It's the most words Danny's spoken to him, and there's a look in his eyes like a candle finding its spark. Something hard. Bruce presses further, "And why is that?"

The spark flutters, and flushes out. Danny blinks like he's coming out of a trance, and slumps back into himself. "Just don't."

Bruce stares at him, thoughtful, before looking away. "Alright. I won't."

And they fall back into silence.

Danny, when he leaves, turns to look at Bruce, "I mean it." He says; soft like he's telling a secret, "Don't make any deals with him. Don't be alone with him. Don't work with him."

He's scampered away before Bruce can question him further.

(He never planned on working with Vlad Masters and his company; he's done his research. He's seen the misfortune. But nothing ever leads back to him. There's no evidence of anything. But Danny knows something.)

At their next meeting, Danny starts the conversation. It's new, and it's welcomed. He says, cutting through their five minute quiet, that he likes stars. And he doesn't like that he can't see them in Gotham.

Bruce hums in interest, and Danny continues talking. It's as if floodgates had been opened, and as Bruce takes a sip of his wine, it tastes like victory.

("Tucker told me once--") ("Tucker?") ("Oh-- uh, one of my best friends. He's a tech geek. We haven't talked in a while.")

(Danny shut down in his grief -- his friends are worried, but can't reach him. When he goes back to the manor with Vlad, he fishes out his phone and sends them a message.)

(They are ecstatic to hear from him.)

It all culminates until one day, when Danny is leaving to go back inside, that Bruce speaks up. "You know," He says, leaning against the railing. "The manor has many rooms; plenty of space for a guest."

The implication there, hidden between the lines. And Danny is smart, he looks at Bruce with a sharp glean in his eyes, and he nods. "Good to know."

The next time they see each other, Danny has something in his hands. "Can you hold onto something for me?" He asks.

When Bruce agrees, Danny places a pearl into his palm. or, at least, it's something that looks like a pearl. Because it's cold to the touch; sinking into Bruce's white silk gloves with ease and shimmering like an opal. It moves a little as it settles into his hand, and the moves like its full of liquid.

Bruce has never seen anything like it before, but he does know this; it's not human. "What is it?" He asks, and Danny looks uncomfortable.

"I can't tell you that." He says, shifting on his foot like he's scared of someone seeing it. "But please be careful with it. Treat it like it's extremely fragile."

When Bruce gets home, he puts it in an empty ring box and hides the box in the cave. He tries researching into what it is. he can't find anything concrete.

Everything comes to a head one day when Danny appears at the manor's doorstep one evening, soaking wet in the rain, and bleeding from the side.

The purest form of love is consideration. When someone thinks about how things would make you feel. Pays attention to detail. Holds you in regard when making decisions that could affect you. In any bond, how much they care about you can be found in how much they consider you

Guys what's that one dp fic on ao3 where the Fenton's install some like truth shield around Casper high that'll reveal a ghosts true identity if it's triggered and Danny ends up stuck in the school somehow with a bunch of the a listers + lancer and he ends up revealing himself against his will because of the shield but turns out everyone he was trapped with was like secretly part not human and lancer was like their counselor for keeping all of them safe amd make sure the public didn't know about them? I remember like Danny was trying to keep himself secret but so was everyone else from him because they were like he's just a human he can't find out about this!! And I think either dash or Kwan were werewolves and star was a fairy. Please I read this actual months ago and I cannot find it again 😭😭

proof of concept // i think i'm gonna love you for a long long time

Souheki having entire convos in their minds

Where are my cat!Roksoo fics. That was not a question, it was a statement. I see ppl compare Rok Soo to a cat and really, I’m digging the idea but y’all giving the food but telling me to cook it myself?

…I’ll contribute seasoning—

He’s not a beast person, he’s a legit cat. No opposable thumbs for this kitty. No deus ex machina to make him do legit work later. Give him the slacker life he deserves. Let him live it easily even though he gets dropped off in Rain City’s slums.

Despite that, On and Hong immediately know that he’s intelligent—or they bother him enough to know it eventually.

As if his resourcefulness and caring nature didn’t make it obvious enough that he has high enough emotional intelligence to share his food with the siblings instead of hissing at them for approaching like other alley cats in the slums—

Does he scrounge for food in the trash? Yeah. But they’re almost never bad. No mold, no rot, no dirt. Of course when the food they manage to find is nothing but waste he does find other sources like hunting in the wild. Maybe eventually he urges the kids to turn human so they can cook it. He doesn’t do this often though bc while cats used to be wild and capable hunters he’s just a house cat now. Most he’ll catch are small birds and rodents.

He teaches the kids how to scam. With the magic of cat. Big eyes, cute meows—next thing you know Hans has brought them into the Henituse Estate. After that they endear themselves to the Henituse kids—Cale included.

Kim Rok Soo wants to stay away from the minor villain but honestly the absolute misery from the guy is bothering his afternoon nap so he makes it his daily mission to trip the redhead until he gets a pat.

One day Cale really does trip in the middle of a drunken act and Rok Soo just sits on him. Cale is resigned bc he is not a Cat, and therefore does not have the Divine Right to command anything, much less a cat off his throne.

Eventually Cale warms up to Kitty Rok Soo bc he gets to further his villain act by petting the cat in his lap with a deviously trashy smile—yes, Rok Soo followed him out to the bar. No, he couldn’t stop Rok Soo.

Cats have nine lives. Anybody trying to hurt KRS would be unlucky enough to suffer divine retribution bc black cats are “bad luck.” Heh.

Obviously Ron would know all three of the cats aren’t normal but seeing the growing affection between the Henituse family and the felines he kinda just accepts it like he does in canon and tries to teach the kiddos assassination techniques.

He tries to teach KRS too even after learning he’s a normal—if abnormally intelligent—cat, but KRS runs to Cale every time. After the first time that Ron almost caught KRS, KRS makes sure there’s always ten escape routes that take him to either Cale or Deruth in a minute or less at any moment in time.

Or you know what, KRS’s favorite Ron-deterrent is Violan bc she doesn’t fool around with him like Deruth. Favorite pastime is watching her sculpt bc the noises are hypnotic and it’s like watching discovery channel in live 4k HD. Deruth is only for when he’s in an emergency where neither Cale nor Violan are around. Or when he wants pats.

He stays away from Beacrox bc hello germaphobe torture expert?? No cats allowed in the kitchen?!?!? Little does he know that Beacrox does have a soft spot for the kittens and leaves snacks outside the kitchen for them and the first time KRS takes the offerings he’s so pleased that Ron pets KRS, who is scared shitless but that’s just how it is.

Feral McGee™

It starts with the Joker. 

His goons picked up Tim Drake. Not specifically because it was Tim Drake, he just so happened to be in the Joker’s neighborhood, and we'll, he can't pass up that opportunity now can he? 

Except Tim Drake is watching, along with the rest of Gotham, at the Batcomputer. He’s nursing a broken foot and has been put on monitor duty until he's cleared for field work again. 

The guy looks enough like him, though. Black hair, blue eyes, and bags under his eyes for days. He's also got the same lean sort of build like he does. 

It happens like this. 

The Joker is doing his monologue thing where he explains whatever twisted game he's come up with this time. He takes up the majority of the screen, so nobody can see Not-Tim behind him, not until the big reveal. Then he covers the screen again, getting up close and personal, before stepping back. In those quick few seconds, Not-Tim is no longer sitting there tied to the chair. 

Someone off camera lets the Joker know, and he whirls around, confused as the rest of Gotham. 

And then Not-Tim comes in with the steel chair. 

Or, well, a crowbar, but the reference holds up. 

He takes out one of Joker’s knees before punching him in the face. The Joker drops like a bag of stones, out cold. 

Then he looks towards the camera. 

“Hey there. I'm not really sure where I am, but also if he was after Tim Drake, he got the wrong guy. I'm not him, I'm just some dude. Anyway, I'll just-yep-” he carefully steps over the unconscious Joker, gives the camera a little wave, and then leaves. 

Batman and Nightwing enter shortly after, with the Joker and his goons out cold and tied up. The knots were complicated enough where, in the end, the police resorted to cutting the ties off of them so they could be properly cuffed and taken to Arkham. 

“A constrictor knot,” Batman tells Nightwing as they watch the villain be taken away. “Often used by sailors to temporarily tie things together to keep something in a bag, or to hold something to glue it back together.”

“Huh,” Nightwing says, scratching the back of his head. “Go figure.”

—

The next time it happens, it’s the Riddler. 

He’s laughing, giving his riddles to the Bats and recording himself to all of Gotham while his victim, one of the Wayne brats, hangs over a vat of something. From a distance, he looks like Tim Drake, or maybe a lankier Dick Grayson. And he’s not the only victim, they’re all scattered across the city, but he thought an important figure such as a Wayne should be under the Riddler’s direct supervision while he enacts his schemes. 

While the Riddler cackles and plots and waves his cane around, in the background all of Gotham can see the figure escape. Several Gothamites recognize him as the kid from before, who clocked the Joker. They all watch with bated breath as he sort of wiggles his way out of the ropes holding him up. Once he’s free, he climbs the rope and gets himself down safely. 

Gotham holds their breath as the kid casually walks up to the Riddler, who’s mid-rant. He politely taps him on the shoulder, and as the Riddler is turning around, the kid clocks him just as brutally as he had the Joker. He’s down with one punch. 

They think he’s going to say another sort of awkward goodbye, but instead he pats the Riddler down until he finds a piece of paper tucked into the inside pocket of his jacket. 

“Right,” the kid says, looking at the list. There’s a lot more static overlay now, and several wonder if it’s damage to the cameras. “Uh, the Clocktower, the Docks, and-” he squints at the page for a moment-”Mama Nacaroni’s? What the fuck is that? Anyway, uh. See you later, I guess. Oh! And we’re at the Gotham Arena. Have fun with him, I guess.”

The kid tosses the paper off to the side before the camera cuts to black. 

Just like last time, everyone is out cold and tied up. The Riddler himself is sporting a pretty bad shiner, but well deserved nonetheless. 

“Stop it,” Red Hood tells him. Batman just looks at him, and though Hood can’t see the top half of his face, he can tell that his eyebrow is raised. “You know exactly what I mean, B. Put the adoption papers away.”

“Hn.”

—

After that, it sorta becomes a game. The rogues of Gotham are no longer after a Wayne, or after anybody who holds any kind of social status like usual. They’re all going after this one kid, all determined to be the one to hold him. And each one is televised. 

Mr. Freeze freezes him in a block of ice, but due to the cameras glitching out, nobody can really see how he got free. They do, however, see the kid suplex Mr. Freeze. It should seem impossible, given his lanky figure, but he evidently has more muscle than he’s originally let on. 

Two-Face gets a hold of him, using chains and some power-dampening cuffs just on the off-chance that he’s a meta. They all watch as the kid leans down, pulls a bobby pin out of his hair, and picks the locks on his cuffs. One punch, and Two-Face is down. 

Gothamites are going wild for the kid. They’ve dubbed him Feral McGee™ (an online poll, of course), because every time he goes in for the punch he gets this feral look in his eyes. Also, just the fact that he casually goes up to these rogues and takes them out with all the casualness of doing something incredibly mundane? Incredible. The Gothamites are eating it up. However, despite the video evidence, nobody has been able to properly identify the kid. They know he has black hair and bright eyes, but any time he gets near a camera, it’s like there’s this weird, sort of warped quality the camera takes on. It doesn’t usually calm down until the fight is done-as one sided as they usually are-before he awkwardly skedaddles away.  

He gets kidnapped by the Penguin, Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy (though that was more just a friendly chat than anything), Mad Hatter, and the Riddler again. 

And then the Joker escapes. 

It’s no surprise as to who he’s going to go after. 

Due to one too many careless goons, they manage to find their way to the Joker’s hideout pretty quickly. This time, it’s all Bats on deck, and they all hide away in the rafters as Feral McGee™ is hung over a vat of acid. His whole body is tied up, hardly a single inch of exposed skin to be seen except for the neck up. 

They watch the goons, they watch the Joker, and they watch Feral McGee™. 

The Joker is monologuing, practically begging the bats to come find him before the timer runs out. When it does, the kid gets dumped into the vat of acid. 

Despite these stakes, the kid seems to be only mildly annoyed. 

“Fuck this, I have homework I still need to finish,” they hear him say. 

They all watch, amazed and confused, as the kid starts gnawing through the ropes. Human teeth shouldn’t be able to do that so easily, but one bit after the other, and soon enough the kid’s got himself freed enough to just climb up the rest of the rope. When he’s at the top of the crane holding him up, Batman lets down a rope and pulls the kid up and out of danger. 

“Oh, cool, you’re all here,” the kid says casually, as if meeting the entire Bat Clan is just a normal Tuesday. And then he pulls out a notepad and pen and hands it to Red Hood. 

“Can I get an autograph? You’re dope as fuck, dude.”

Red Hood has to look away and hide his face in his arms for a few moments to not give away their location with his laughter before signing. And then, one by one, the others do as well. They pass along the kid’s notebook with shit-eating grins and barely contained snickers despite the fact that the Joker is still right below them. Even Batman signs it, after his children don’t stop hounding him about it. 

In their distraction, they didn’t see the kid sneak away. He’s far away from them now, nearly right over the Joker. Danny waits, though, until the Joker has turned around as the timer almost runs out. They watch as he snickers at Joker’s flabbergasted look. The Joker comically looks back and forth and under objects the kid obviously isn’t under. However, before he can do or say anything else, the kid drops from the rafters and right on top of the Joker. He crumples to the ground, unconscious. The kid, however, just brushes the dust off of himself. Despite the fall he took, there isn’t a scratch on him. 

When the bats join him, they give his notepad back to him, barely able to contain their laughter at the absurdity of it all. The kid, too, joins in the camaraderie, laughing and joking along with them as Batman secures the Joker. 

“Okay, okay, but I gotta ask, dude,” Red Hood says at one point, looking at the kid. “How do you keep getting kidnapped?”

The kid just shrugs. “I get distracted easily. And I’m sleep deprived, so you know. Social awareness is kind of at an all time low right now.”

“Why are you sleep deprived?” Nightwing asks, barely hidden concern in his voice. 

 “Finals are kinda kicking my ass right now. Especially this dumb English homework I have. You guys wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?”

“Oh, lucky for you,” Red Hood says, wrapping an arm around the kid’s shoulders as he walks them out of the warehouse, “I happen to know a lot about English. So, it is Shakespeare?”

“Yeah, Midsummer Night’s Dream.”

As they walk off, Batman calmly watches, though the rest of the bats can see his jaw twitching. Nightwing comes up behind him, clapping a hand on his shoulder. 

“If you don’t adopt him, I will.”

“Hn.”

Everyone is convinced that Tim never sleeps, and keeps trying to make him go to sleep. But he does sleep. Honestly, he probably sleeps more than any of the Bats.

Unlike the others with their cases, Tim believes in this magical concept called "Delegation".

He has computer programs that run constant search functions that notify him when a match occurs. He has ears and eyes on the streets that let him know when something happens or when they see someone who has disappeared. He prioritizes his cases based on who is in immediate danger.

He also makes sure to end his patrol at one or two in the morning if he can help it, and barring extraneous circumstances, goes straight to sleep.

This leaves him with four hours a day to do CEO stuff (with help from Tam and his computer systems), but he also delegates most of that stuff too. The rest of the time is to chip away at his cases by checking in with his computer/people, and napping. He loves napping.

Unlike Bruce and many other Bats, Tim knows how to ask for help.

Unfortunately, this means that when he's sleeping, it's when everyone is scrambling and no one is noticing what he's doing.

When he wakes up, everyone is starting to trail off to bed.

So what everyone sees is Tim bleary and exhausted, beelining for the coffee machine.

Or; I try to explain fanon Tim behavior in regards to sleep but it's actually a misunderstanding. Bruce knows, of course, but he's not saying anything because he thinks it's funny. Tim spent all that time nagging him, now Tim gets to be hounded.

I don't want to ask AI a question. I don't want AI to write my sentences for me, at all ever. I don't want AI search bars to be the default and I don't want them to be in such a way that I can't opt out. I don't want this kind of AI in my life and there is no such thing as AI art, there is only theft of art from human artists by AI scrappers. I don't want any of this, I hate it. Maybe in a world that isn't driven by tech bro capitalism we can see machines doing all the dangerous inane things so humans can be free to pursue life and creativity. But that's not what's happening right now and I hate it.

Something I have seen in a few fics and is very near to my heart. Tim Drake Has Birds. Not just any birds, but a gaggle of Crows and Ravens and others. That's what everyone says. But what if he had *more*.

Sure it starts with him befriending 4 or 5 ravens/crows but both are smart kinds of birds and very social as well. They seek out others to play with after all. So if Tim was kind to them and fed them and even helped one of them heal after it got a broken wing (the others led Tim to their injured friend while screaming) then they would certainly spread news to other birds that Tim is safe and a friend. Plus, when any of those birds he befriended has kids? They will teach their babies that Tim is Kind and Trustworthy.

Eventually Tim's flock spreads from just being Crows and Ravens to adding pigeons and grackles and Sparrows and even a few blue Jay's and a couple owls! After all, if Tim starts befriending them about the time (or even before) he starts stalking the family by the Time he's Robin he's gunna have So Many Birds. Tim does his best to hide this from the other Bats because he thinks they will try to make him get rid of them like the one time his parents found him petting a Raven in the backyard.

Tim hides his birds from everyone the best he can and has taught some of them helpful tricks in the field that he can only use when alone. Only a handful can do them, but a handful is more than enough. Such commands are Follow That Person, Bring Me That, Poop On That Person, and other such things. Only three of them understand his favorite trick. Take This Match, Strike It, And Drop It On What I Point At. Sometimes he lights goons on fire, sometimes he lights dumpsters on fire. Either way, a perfect distraction for hoards of goons.

Many of them also have tiny harnesses that can't be seen through their feathers that have cameras on them. Sometimes Tim will have a bird follow a Rouge around for a while because really, who would notice of a specific bird is following them?

The three that are best trained and are totally not Tim's favorites, are the three he has in his civilian identity as well. He only debuted his "pets" are he took over as CEO of WE. On his right shoulder rides a *well* above average size Raven named Huggin and on his left is an equally massive Raven named Munnin. Yes, he did name them after Odin's two ravens from mythology. The last one does not come to work with him like Huggin and Munnin, but stays at home and is in fact part of Tim's Home Security. Guinevere the Agressive Swan. She will attack anyone and everyone that isn't Tim and the moment she spots a person who Shouldn't Be There, she is out for *blood*. The only people she tolerates are Brenard, Kon, Cassie, and Bart. Even Damian with his mastery of animals will get attacked by her.

That's such a cute AU! I want to add an that, because Tim is taking care of pigeons, their lifespan increases as well (idk much about other birds so maybe them too). Pigeons were originally domesticated animals. They live 1-2 years in the wild and up to 15 as a pet.

I would also love to see the ravens intimidate the hell out of other people at Tim's work. The birds are just staring intensely at someone Tim doesn't like as they try to get through a meeting. It's an effective tool for the CEO to get what he wants or needs from opponents (ravens are adorable, but huge. I'd be terrified if one just kept staring at me visibly prepared to attack).

I’m noticing an increase in new fic writers on AO3 who…uh…mayy not know how to format their fics correctly..so here is a quick and VERY important tip

Using a random fic of mine as example..

The left example: ✅✅✅

The right example: ❌❌❌

Idk how many times I’ve read a good fic summary and been so excited to read before clicking on it and being met with an ugly wall of text. When I see a huge text brick with zero full line breaks my eyes blur and I just siiiigh bc either I click out immediately or I grin and bear it…it’s insufferable!

If a new character speaks, you need a line break. If you notice a paragraph is becoming too large, go ahead and make a line break and/or maybe reconfigure the paragraph to flow better. I’m not a pro writer or even a huge fic writer but…please…ty…

''I may have accidentaly create a big company and a crime empire in one and involve a shit tone of civilians in it.''

''Accidentaly,'' Tim repeated, all deadpan.

How a teenager with murder tendencies can become the best boss ever, and how he can later explain it to his family.

Tim trips through time. Tim meets Thomas and Martha Wayne and little kindergartener Bruce Wayne. Bruce thinks Tim is the coolest person ever! Tim is very worried about space and time but no speedster has come back to yell at him so...

He tells Thomas and Martha to not go to the theater in the future crime alley. He starts trying to synthesize the bullet resistant and knife proof fabric that looks and acts like fabric that he and the other Bats use in the future so he can replace Thomas's shirts with shirts made of the stuff and have lining of the fabric put into Martha's clothes. He teaches Bruce how to meditate and anger management techniques and stretches to take advantage of his baby flexibility and revels in having a little brother figure that looks up to him and doesn't try to kill him. He goes ahead and sets up some plans that won't come to fruition for literal decades but when they do they will seriously annoy and hamper Ra's. Alfred lets him help in the kitchen and Tim spots that he is absolutely in a thruple with Thomas and Martha. Thomas and Martha officially adopt him.

Then he goes back. The method takes the memories of the experience from the Waynes, erases the signs of Tim's presence in the past. Tim returns to his normal present but with one difference.

He had been holding his adoption papers when it happened.

Tim is legally and officially, according to the paperwork in his hands, Timothy Roderick (for Martha's dad because Jack sucks) Drake Wayne and Bruce's older brother.

Bruce's very distant memories of the time sort of come back to him now that Tim's back, not very clearly since he was five at the time. Alfred, having been older at the time, does remember young master Tim's time before much more clearly and feels a great deal more embarrassment in how he's treated master wayne, particularly the birthday incident. Tim mentally notes that Bruce technically still hasn't tried to actively kill him so he's not the worst little brother. Also all his siblings are now his niblings.

Time hijinks are so fun to mess around with.

I have no clue how that adoption paper will hold up in the court of law, but I doubt Tim cares. According to Bruce's parents, he is the older brother. He will not be taking any other answer as acceptable.

I'd also love to just read about the soft moments of Thomas and Martha referring to Tim as their son and fussing over all of his scars. Little Bruce looking up to Tim as the older one leads him through another breathing exercise.

Then, an older Bruce who's embarking on his training arc and the strange sort of familiarity he finds with learning the breathing exercise. The sense of calm, belonging, and home a simple pattern brings him

Where did Tim learn to read people? Gossiping old ladies at galas. He would sit with them as they pointed out different guests, indicated a slight difference, and then accurately depicted what skeletons their closet held.

Lady 1: "Did you see what cufflinks John Wess had on?"

Lady 2: "Oh? They're the ones inherited by his father? It looks like we'll be reading about a divorce by the end of the year."

Tim: *purposefully playing up his naive clueless innocence so he can learn their skills*

Lady 4: "Oh. It seems Rebecca Till has sunset orange lipstick on tonight."

Lady 2: *sighs and starts chugging her champagne*

Lady 3: "Ha! You all owe me a social favor now. I told you she was sleeping with the mayor."

Tim: *startles as he looks at Ms. Till's lipstick and then back at the ladies confused how those add up*

Am I the only one who is deeply reminded of Tim Drake every time they see a John Mulaney comedy special?

If John Mulaney was 15 and looked 13, he'd be the prime actor to cast as Tim Drake. Because he has this cynical but boyish charm like he's a 50s professor trapped in a modern boy's body and very self-aware about it. He's seen some shit and done some shit, but he manages to look very put-together.

Here are some actual quotes from John's comedy specials that Tim Drake would totally say if he was writing his autobiography:

On Bruce Wayne:

Tim: Kids, you think your dad’s weird now? Wait for his dad to die. Then he goes on a whole quest.

He’ll wanna take more family pictures, but be angrier during them. “Can we get one photo where we all look nice?”

We’re like, “I don’t think this motherfucker’s doing that well.”

Tim: My dad never hit us. My dad is a lawyer and he was a debate team champion. So he would pick us apart psychologically.

Tim: He was a man most acquainted with misery. He could look at a child and guess the price of their coffin.

Tim: He didn’t want us to not get kidnapped. He wanted us to almost get kidnapped and then fight the guy off using weird, psych-out, back-room Chicago violence.

On being Robins:

Tim: This was always a very dramatic process – ’cause we were thirteen, we looked nine.

Tim: God, I guess they’re finally going to kill us all. All right. This is younger than I thought I would be but we are pretty big assholes.

Tim: I thought I was going to be murdered my entire childhood. In high school people were like, “What are your top three colleges?”

I was like, “Top three colleges? I thought I would be dead in a trunk with my hand hanging out of the taillight by now.”

On being 'the smartest Robin':

Tim: I don’t know what my body is for other than just taking my head from room to room.

Tim, to Bart: Here’s my plan, you and me get very dressed up, including hats, and then we wave handkerchiefs at it until it disappears over the horizon. 

On being Red Robin:

Tim: I was hoping, uh, by now that I would look older but that didn’t happen.

I don’t look older, I just look worse, I think. Honestly, when I’m walking down the street, no one’s ever like, “Hey, look at that man!” I think they’re just like “Whoa! That tall child looks terrible! Get some rest, tall child! You can’t keep burning the candle at both ends!”

On Gotham:

Tim: What a historic and beautiful and deeply haunted building this is. I keep walking through cold spots being like, “I wonder who that used to be.”

Tim: I was coming into my apartment building one night and I saw in front of my building a wheel chair, knocked in its side with no one in it. That’s a bad thing to see. Something happened there… you hope it was a miracle… but probably not… probably something worse.

On staying calm while Gotham is on fire:

Tim: I try to stay a little optimistic, even though I will admit, things are getting pretty sticky.

Tim: I’ll just keep all my emotions right here [points to heart] and then one day, I’ll die.

Tim: And by the way, part of me was like: “Whatever"… you know? You ever have those days where you’re like: “This might as well happen."

On Gotham Rogues:

Tim: He did not look like his job description. He looked like he should be the conductor on a locomotive powered by confetti. But, instead, he made his living in murder. 

On the fracturing of the Batfamily amidst Bruce's supposed death and Tim's search for him:

Tim: It was an intervention. For me. Interventions for me, are my least favorite kind of intervention.

Tim [searching for Bruce while Dick is Batman and Damian is his Robin]:

I, meanwhile, was loose in New York City, not doing well.

On his time with the League of Assassins and Ra's Al-Ghul's interest

Tim: Now, we don’t have time to unpack all of that. 

Tim: You’re all uncomfortable now, but I’m way over it.

On college:

Tim: I went to college. For the whole time. Holy shit, right? I just got a letter from my college, which was fun ’cause mail, you know? 

And they said… How did they phrase it? They said, “Give us some money!

“As a gift! We want a gift! But only if it’s money.” I found this peculiar.

I went to college, I was 18 years old, I looked like I was 11. I lived like a goddamn Ninja Turtle. I didn’t drink water the entire time.

Tim, at his first frat party: People were drinking like it was the civil war and a doctor was coming to saw our legs off.

Miscellaneous:

Tim, in an argument with Steph: That wasn’t what I was telling you, but alright, lets talk about this entirely new topic.

Tim, when asked if he's been up since yesterday: And I was like: “No” you know, like a liar.

Tim: I went into the room to get the massage and the woman there told me to undress to my comfort level. So I put on a sweater and a pair of corduroy pants, and I felt safe. 

Tim: Those were the choices — salad or fries, the two most different foods in the universe. That’s like saying, “What kinda day do you wanna have? Do you wanna be active and go to the bathroom and stuff, or do you wanna lay on the floor moaning?”

Tim, talking to Kon at 5AM: It was really easy to get away with murder before they knew about DNA. It was ridiculously easy. Like, what was even going on back then? What was a murder investigation like in 1935??

One cop would just walk in and be like, [speaks sharply with an old-timey accent] “Detective! We found a pool of the killer’s blood in that hallway!”

And he would just be like [low voice] “Hmmm… gross! Mop it up. Now then, back to my hunch… [holds chin with hand and looks around the floor] Hmmmmmm…. Look for clues. [stands up straight] I’ll tell you what we’ll do! We’ll draw chalk around the body. That way, [narrows eyes and looks side to side and speaks with a suspicious tone] we’ll know where it was…”

Tim, showing up to brunch at Denny's: Hope you don’t mind that I dressed up. It was my first communion today so I decided to come right from it.

Tim: I was sitting up in bed a few weeks ago like… [groans] You know, life. 

Tim: How did they find out about the inside zipper pocket? That pocket has eluded everyone in my life.

Most of the Batkids lie to Batman.

What’s unique about Tim “I lie to Batman” Drake is that he lies *successfully* to Batman.

Damian just states blatant untruths and expects people to believe them. Dick puts on a good act, but it can’t fool his family, even if they won’t call him out on it. Jason’s emotions are too easy to read, even with his helmet on. Cass lies with her words, but never with her body. Duke lacks self-awareness of his insanity and thus doesn’t try to hide any of it. Steph and Barbara don’t even bother, because Batman has no authority over her whatsoever.

Tim, though? He was raised by boarding schools and nannies and practically incentivized to lie to adults. He’s so earnest and well-meaning that everyone expects him to be a compulsive truth-teller, and he weaponizes it like the little gremlin he is. And when that isn’t enough, he knows how to spin things just right that they don’t quite sound like an untruth.