I Was Too Stressed And Mindlessly Scribbled "I Can't Do This Anymore!" In The Back Of My Notebook.

I was too stressed and mindlessly scribbled "I can't do this anymore!" in the back of my notebook.

And look, what my little 9 year old sister wrote back!!!

I'm not joking when I say she's one of the reasons why I still keep going on...😭🩷

The only sensible character in the whole play...

“While I only hated my husband, I could bear to see him—but since I have despised him, he’s too offensive.”

(Mrs. Fainall, The Way of the World)

Restoration Series

Haha! Jokes on me...

Did I really think I'd be free after mid?

I’m Back...

I am attending my last exam tomorrow. Soon, I’ll be posting regularly again. At least, I hope so…

These are what you’re gonna get before long:

The last part of ‘My Guardian Angel’

Fast updates on the series ‘Noona! Please! Help!’

Slow updates on the series ‘The Other Side’

Personal review on Jin’s single ‘The Astronaut’

Short drabbles, if I have the time and mood

The Other Side - Part 1

Fandom: BTS Pairing: Park Jimin x OC (Amelia) Genre: Fluff/Angst Word Count: 1.6k Words Warning: Slight drinking, making out, nothing much explicit in this chapter. Note: (18+) Additional chapters contain heavy angst and sensitive topics. If you can’t handle problematic issues, I advise you to not read any further.

Summary: Despite her brother Taehyung’s disapproval of dating one of his friends, Amelia can’t keep herself away from the charming guy she met at his birthday...

Part 1 - Part 2 - More to come

“For you, I will be new every day ‘Cause it’s boring to have the same thing, right?” - Filter by Jimin

My brother Taehyung’s birthday was the worst day of the year for me. Don’t get me wrong. I loved Taehyung more than anybody in this world. For that exact reason, I could never refuse his request for a birthday party in our house.

I was the kind who hated parties and Taehyung, on the other hand, liked them very much. Furthermore, my presence in that party was a must for Taehyung to actually enjoy it. So, I would always end up being a weirdo trying to communicate with his friends whom I met once a year. Since Taehyung loved making a lot of friends, every year, I would meet some new people too.

Today the party seemed to be going for an eternity. The loud music was unbearable after a few hours. I was done making small talks with most of his friends. I needed some break as I felt my social battery was running out. I needed to find Taehyung.

I groaned in frustration searching for my brother in the crowd. I decided I was old enough to leave his annoying party any time I wanted to. After all, it was my house too. I could go anywhere I wanted. So, I headed for the rooftop.

Surprisingly, there was another person present whom I didn’t notice at first. I yelped in surprise when he cleared his throat to gain my attention.

“I’m sorry.” He said, “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

A blonde guy wearing sunglasses, even though it was night, approached me. I realized that I had never met this person before. Thinking he was a new friend of Taehyung, I tried to talk nicely. But, to be honest, I could do with some alone time instead.

“It’s okay!” I said, “I don’t think I know you.”

“I’m Park Jimin.” He said, “I’m Jungkook’s friend from college. I believe you’re Taehyung’s sister, Amelia, right?” I nodded. But my mind was occupied with the thought that he was Jungkook’s friend.

If I had an enemy, it would be Jeon Jungkook. Jungkook and I went to school together. But we never got along. There was a history of endless fights and arguments between us. Some of them ended up with me crying out in frustration and Jungkook getting some serious talk from my overprotective brother. Nonetheless, they were still close friends.

Jimin suddenly chuckled, “I’ve heard quite a lot about you.”

I tried to smile. If he had known me through Jungkook, chances are, he didn’t know anything good.

A few cups of drinks were making my mind blurry. I started to find the stranger really attractive. I wasn’t even listening to what he had been saying. But his voice was pleasant to my ears. My mind was full of thoughts that seemed too wrong.

“Hello!” Jimin snapped his fingers in front of my eyes and I came back to reality. He wetted his lips before saying, “You haven’t been listening, have you?”

I shook my head honestly. He laughed as if he found it adorable. He took off the glasses and stared directly into my eyes.

Oh God! If looks could kill...

“I think you’re a little too intoxicated to ignore my charm.” he said. Without realizing I nodded in affirmation, making him laugh even more.

Oh God! His eye smile...

Then, he suddenly stopped. His stare was quite serious this time. He wasn’t fooling around anymore. I could feel the tension rising in the air. It seemed like there was an invisible string pulling me closer to this guy. I leaned a bit closer to him. But he didn’t move.

He half whispered, “Are you sure about this?” I nodded again.

Then, he leaned in to kiss me. It was a soft one at first, but gained momentum as soon as he got my approval. During our heated making out session, my mind had gone off to a completely different world. There was nothing I could think of other than him.

But soon Jimin let go of my lips and pulled back. A soft whimper left my mouth. Jimin just chuckled in return and shook his head.

“I don’t want you to regret anything once you’re sober.” He said.

I opened my mouth to say something but decided against it. It was already awkward enough. I didn’t want to embarrass myself further by saying something which would prove how desperate I was to have him.

Taehyung and I were only a year apart and he was the oldest. Our father was never in the picture and our mother died the year I graduated high school. Both of us ended up not going to college. Money was not a problem. We were pretty well off as mother had left us with a big house and a huge backyard of a flower garden. I worked on them and sold them in our personal flower shop which was quite famous in town. Taehyung, on the other hand, did whatever he was comfortable with at the moment.

Taehyung had lots of friends. But I only had him. And he was aware of it. But he didn’t mind. Even though he had many friends, both male and female, he would always forbid me to get a little too close to any of his male friends. I never complained either. Because, most of them were like Jungkook, whom I absolutely despised.

But I felt different this time. This Jimin guy was really messing with my mind. Ever since the night, I couldn’t shake his thoughts away. I felt a little guilty for keeping such a secret from my brother, to whom I had always confided everything.

“This is never going to happen again.” I would tell myself. But little did I know how wrong I had been.

Apparently, Jimin shared a mutual feeling and there was nothing that could stop him from coming back to me. So, coming back to me he did. But at the worst moment possible.

Ding Dong

Taehyung forbade me to get up from the dining table as we were having supper at the time. It was unusual for us to have a visitor so late. So, Taehyung went to check it himself.

“Is Amelia home?” I heard a not so unknown voice spoke and my heart skipped a bit. I knew that Taehyung was as shocked as me because he didn’t say a word in reply.

The stranger continued, “I’m Jimin. I hope you remembered me from the party. I came here with Jungkook.”

It turned out that Jimin had some important business in town. But unfortunately he was too late to catch the evening train. He hadn’t brought his car. Furthermore, he was not in the habit of riding a cab late at night. He tried calling Jungkook but he was out of town. He also informed Taehyung that he had an opportunity to become my friend during his birthday party. So, it seemed like he had no other choice but to ask us to let him stay at our place.

Taehyung didn’t seem to be believing any of his words. But he agreed to let him stay for the night. Only at one condition; Jimin was to share the bed with him. It is necessary to include that we had two spare bedrooms for guests.

I had never felt so uncomfortable while having dinner at my own house before. Jimin looked like he was having the best moment of his life; enjoying the food and appreciating it often. I nodded in between but tried not to say anything and let Taehyung join the conversation. Jimin was acting differently, almost in a child-like manner. I tried to avoid eye contact with either of them as Taehyung kept eyeing us suspiciously throughout the whole dinner.

After a while of chatting about nothing, we were all off to bed. But my brain had no intention of letting me sleep. Instead, it was replaying the night of my brother’s birthday. I wondered if this was the same flirty Jimin I had encountered some weeks ago.

Hours later, I walked out of my bedroom in frustration. Instantly, I was grabbed by my shoulders and I yelped in surprise.

“Ssh!” Jimin let go and whispered, “It’s only me!” I nodded in recognition. He looked at me carefully and a wide grin spread on his face.

“What?” I asked, surprised at his unusual behavior.

“Thank God!” He said with relief, “You didn’t forget about me.”

I laughed at him, “What made you think I might forget you?”

Jimin frowned at my taunting, “Why? You were hella drunk that night. I bet you can’t recall what we did.”

I blushed really hard this time. Of course, I remembered what we did. But I was in no mood to discuss that embarrassing event. Jimin had definitely seen me blushing. His cute face suddenly turned mischievous.

“Can you recall it or should I help?” he smirked. Now, this was the Jimin I was talking about.

Before I could shut him up with a slap on the head, I heard movements ahead of me. Both of us froze. Our eyes grew larger at once.

“Fuck!” Jimin whispered, “Your spy brother is awake.”

I ran straight to my bedroom and shut the door quickly. My heart was beating up to my throat. I could hear a conversation outside which made me smile like an idiot.

A deep voice asked, “Oy! What are you doing there?”

A cute one replied, “I think I might have forgotten the way to the bathroom.”

A moment of silence before a really angry tone spoke, “If you’re trying to make an excuse, Park Jimin, go for a better one next time.”

Next >

My Masterlist

Why my heart hurts???

"all the solo work is just a journey to get back home safely" — kim namjoon bangtan first solo tracks of ch. 2 + favorite lines

My Guardian Angel - Part 3 (Final)

Fandom: BTS Paring: Min Yoongi x Female Reader Genre: Angst Warning: Age gap, mc being a brat, traumatic past, mention of abusive household, a little depressing, I’m sorry it ended this way. Word Count: 2k Words Note: Since the reader is only 15 years old, I reduced Yoongi’s age to be 22. Please keep the age gap in mind before diving in to read. I must say there is nothing explicit in here.

Summary: When things are bound to fall apart, You find out how powerless you are to the destiny...

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 [Complete]

*************************************************

I was beyond angry. Yoongi just informed me that today was the last day in town for me till next month. He was going to be working on the weekends as well with only a day off per month. That meant, no more coming to the town for grocery shopping.

"But I won't forget to buy you a present, kitten. Also you can buy more than one thing when you're coming to the store yourself once a month."

"I don't want your stupid gifts." I angrily said, "I want you. At least, on a weekend."

"Kitten," Yoongi sighed, unable to deal with my raging state, "I'm sorry. You see, it's not something that I can control."

"Fine." I yelled, "get out of my sight. I'm not going home with you."

"Kitten…" He tried to speak but was interrupted by a lady.

"Is everything alright, dear?" The question was directed toward me.

"Yeah, everything's fine. We're just having a discussion. Thank you." Yoongi dismissed her concerns which seemed to be irritating her somehow.

"Are you sure you're alright?" She asked me again. When I nodded my head the lady further asked, "Who is he? Do you know him?"

"Excuse me!" Yoongi said, "I don't see why you need to know that."

The lady still asked me without bothering to look at him, "is he threatening you?"

"What?" was Yoongi's reply.

I shook my head. Then, the lady turned to Yoongi and said, "Sir, I'm very concerned about this child. Please state your relationship to her."

"That's none of your business." Yoongi answered bitterly. He grabbed my wrist and walked straight to our car.

"Sir…" the lady called from behind but we simply speeded our walk and got in the car.

I wanted to apologize for reacting like that in the store earlier and for gaining unwanted attention. Somehow I couldn't manage to do it as I felt a growing lump on my throat.

Yoongi, on the other hand, looked disturbed. I wasn't sure if it was because of the lady or myself.

In the evening, I sat on the bed while Shelby lay beside me. She stayed too quiet as if she understood the dull atmosphere of the house. I ran my hand through her. She moved closer to me and relaxed in a more comfortable position.

Yoongi was cooking outside. I dared not to go to him at the moment. I felt that something wrong was going to happen and I dreaded its arrival. I tried to plan the best way I could apologize to lift his mood. After all, it was my fault that the day went to ruin.

Then I heard a car being pulled up outside. I froze.

Could it be…

I peeked through the window and got a glance of a police car. “Why are the police here?” I thought to myself. Unconsciously I started biting my nails.

I could sense that Yoongi was talking to them outside. A dull ache was twisting within my stomach.

After a few minutes, Yoongi came inside, his face unreadable. He spoke quietly, “Kitten, you need to come out for a moment. Here’s an officer to meet you. Please talk to him nicely.”

I nodded slowly and, almost in daze, walked outside. The man in a police uniform greeted me. He asked me to sit down. After we’re both seated at the patio, the officer asked Yoongi to leave us alone.

“No!” I immediately opposed it. “He’ll stay.”

Yoongi said, “I won’t interrupt, sir. I’ll just stay beside her so that she doesn’t feel too nervous about this whole situation.”

The officer nodded and turned to me. He said that he had to ask me some questions and I was required to answer them honestly. I needed not to be  scared. When I approved, he proceeded to ask me where I came from, who was my guardian, what happened that made me run away from home, how I met Yoongi, how long had I been living with him, if I considered him to be a dangerous man etc.

I answered him truthfully. I told him how abusive of a man my step father was. I told him all the evil things he had done to me. I told him how my life was a living hell before I met Yoongi.

Every now and then, whenever I faltered in between, Yoongi would softly squeeze my hand. It was hard for me to bring up the nasty past. But I had to do it. I had to convince the police that it was my own decision that I ran away and still my own that I stayed with him.

Finally, the police said that I could go. Yoongi took me inside and whispered to me, “you did bravely, kitten.”

Then, he went out to have a last chat with the police. I waited patiently and prayed that the man would leave us soon.

The man, to my horror, did not leave us soon. In fact they were talking for so long that my anxiety got the best of me and I had to eavesdrop from inside the door.

Luckily, they were talking loudly enough for me to hear them. Unluckily, it sounded as if they were arguing over something.

Yoongi's voice was deadly, something I never heard before, "you heard everything!"

"I know, I know," the officer spoke in a frustrated manner, "But what you're asking is against the law. I can even arrest you right now for keeping her for so long without any legal rights over her."

"Will you?" It wasn't even a question. Yoongi said it as if he knew the police won't do that.

"Yoongi," the man spoke softly, "I know you very well. I know what you've been through. I also know from how you're treating her that you truly care for her. I still ask you to give it a rational thought. She doesn't belong here."

"What do you mean by here?" Yoongi argues further, "she clearly loves this place."

"She might love the place. I only meant she doesn't belong with you. She deserves a family."

Yoongi looked him dead in the eye and said, "I'm not letting her go back to that monster, you hear me!"

At this point, I was really getting scared. I didn't know if it was because of the idea that I might have to go back to my stepfather or about the fact that Yoongi was so mad, which was really unlikely of him.

"I assure you. She's never going to see him again. We're gonna call the social service. They'll arrange a nice Foster home for her."

"Oh, shut up!" Yoongi retorted, "I know how those Foster systems work. She might never be adopted. Especially at this age."

"At least, she'll have a chance for a real family. This is only for her own good."

"I don't trust anyone."

"You know you're only saying that because you don't want to lose her, right?"

Something about this confrontation with the police made Yoongi go silent. He didn't reply. It neither looked like he's going to argue any longer.

After the brief moment of silence, it almost took my utmost willpower to stay put at my place and not run straight to them begging Yoongi to say something in my favor, the police finally spoke.

"I'll give you tonight to say a proper goodbye. But I'm coming back tomorrow, along with the social service. I hope you won't resist, then. Otherwise, you're gonna be in trouble, I tell you."

The man finally left without waiting for a reply.

"I heard everything." I said after waiting for a minute for Yoongi to settle in bed. When he looked like he wasn't going to say anything back, I proceeded further. "I'm sorry I made a scene at the shop. I know it's all my fault. Oppa, please, don’t stay mad at me."

Yoongi finally looked back at me and said, "rules are rules. I don't have any control over this situation. They're gonna be here tomorrow and you'll have to go."

"Oppa!" I yelled at him. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He was giving up on me. He wasn't fighting to keep me anymore.

On the verge of tears, I asked, "Are you punishing me for what I did earlier?"

"No!" Yoongi stood up from the bed and came towards me, "You know, I'll never punish you for anything."

"Then, why are you doing this to me?"

"It's for your own good, kitten. Out there, you can at least dream for a new home. A new family. Here, you have nothing to even dream about."

"But you are my home."

I took a step forward and rested my head on his chest. "You're the best thing that I can ever wish for. You are my only family."

Yoongi slowly shook his head. He pushed me away by holding me by the shoulders. He made me look into his eyes and spoke very politely.

"It wasn't me who saved you but the other way around. You showed me everything that my life was lacking. Thanks to you, I felt like I truly lived. No, kitten. I can't be so selfish to keep you in this boring life of mine and take advantage of you like that. You deserve a chance in life. Unlike mine, you have a whole future ahead of you."

I couldn't understand what was going on. How suddenly everything changed in Yoongi. How willingly he was pushing me away.

"But I don't want to go."

"You're too young to understand that."

As I opened my mouth to argue further, Yoongi shook his head to shut me up. He said, "please, kitten, I want you to do better than this. I'm tired. I'm going out for a drink. Sleep tight till tomorrow."

Then, he went out with a bottle of whisky in his hand. I wasn't allowed to leave my room when he drank out on the patio. So, like always, I stayed inside. I stayed and cried. I cried on my pillow throughout the night till sleep took over my messy mind.

The next morning, we didn't talk much. We were just busy packing my bag. At one point, Yoongi came up to me with his guitar and said, "Since you love it so much, I want you to keep it."

I didn't say that the reason I loved the guitar so much was because he played it. I loved the fact that he played the guitar for me whenever I asked him to.

I decided to leave behind the little fox plushie. So Yoongi could have something to look at whenever he thought of me.

When I saw the car approaching from far away, I felt like I would break down anytime and cry. Surprisingly that didn't happen.

I scratched behind Shelby's ear and gave her the last piece of treat. I hugged Yoongi for the last time too. After that, without a fight I climbed inside the car.

As we were driving away, I thought I would take a good look for the last time at the place I called my first home. The place looked hauntingly empty. I looked at the familiar window, the front patio, our jeep, trying to take in as much as I could. 

My eyes finally stopped at Yoongi. His head was bending towards his feet so that I couldn't make out his face. I noticed that his shoulders were shaking.

I didn't need to try. Tears automatically flowed through my cheeks. All this time I had been at my worst, Yoongi was always there beside me, offering the warmth that I just needed. And the one time of him being vulnerable, I couldn't be there beside him, offering the same warmth that he had given me.

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