Yoongi Ff - Tumblr Posts

Y’all got to read this. It’s sweet, sour and sexy.

I feel like I’m this fics universe, yoongi probably had to full on wittiness his parents fights on the daily and get divorced. He probably is scared of being in a relationship with someone where they will leave him for someone else. Which concludes him being “get money, fuck bitches” type of guy. Big W for the reader, she has the balls to call him out on his bs by putting her foot down. Bless her heart. For real. She’s gonna make herself look like a dumb ass knowing he’s gonna dick down some other female.

That’s my thinking. But feel free to reblog and leave some comments for the author. I’d give this a 10/10 coconuts.

Sharing My Heart | MYG

♪ ♫ song to listen to while reading 📖— Softcore - The Nbhd

before you read: Keep in mind that this is all purely fiction. If any of the below warnings trigger you then do not read, blocking is welcomed if you are uncomfortable btw.. idc! (๑˘･з･˘)~

pairing: stylist sub!reader x playboy dom!yoongi

wc. 9k | smut & angst + minor fluff

think of this yoongi: 🍓

→ Warnings: (+18) — unedited! yoongi plays with ur heart like a fiddle, brat taming, unprotected rough sex, oral sex (m receiving), cocky short yoongi is embraced here, praise galore, emotionally unavailable yoongi and yn is aware but in denial all at the same time, car sex in his limousine, caught cheating but not really because ur not dating?, desperate yn, dirty talk, yn got a mouth on her, creampie :] possessiveness is mutual on both ends, finger sucking, unrequited or is it?, yoongi kinda does whatever to get what he wants, crying, panic attack (throwing up), mention of dissociation, manipulation, yoongi is nice when he wants to be, hot hot jealousy, brief hissy fit of an argument, a sad unhealthy friends with benefits situation, yn gets rag dolled around, spanking, doggystyle, squirting, choking, yoongi acts as if he takes viagra, multiple orgasms..

And he just.. looks at me. With those eyes – I mean, you’ve seen his eyes, right? Maybe not the way I have. But really? You have never noticed that look in his eyes?

“Yeah, just like that.” the man groans, fingers tangled in your hair bobbing your head ferociously on his cock in the backseat of his limousine. Nothing but wet smacks and gulps heard, mixed with your muffled whines.

Min yoongi was mean, and the textbook definition of awful but you were utterly and hopelessly weak for him. Any grasp of yourself that you had before was now completely thrown out the second he made way into your life, you were nothing but a mere hair and make up stylist for the man. Between constant flirty banters back and forth only suspecting that he acted like that with everyone, catching yourself months later from being professional in your work field into now his part time fuck.

“Mouth so good, always good for me.” yoongi hissed while your scalp burned from every tug and pull of your mouth being pushed further down onto him. You let him in deeper, jaw relaxed that his cock finds the back of your uvula swallowing around him. You decide to hum around him, feeling his body tense with fingers finding their way over his thighs. The sensation of your throat swallowing around him just right, he weakly attempts to stifle his moans by biting knuckles with short breaths of laughter. Your eyes flickered meeting his barely lidded ones, pulling back abrupt in mid deep throat. A trail of spit connecting from his cock to your lips.

You smile licking your petals only to follow down with a sloppy trail kissing with short smacks to his inner thighs “So sensitive Min Yoongi” you whispered, loving the way he would jerk up at every touch of your fingers or lips even just the feeling of your hot breath against his skin. Your tongue finally trails back down to meet his mushroom tip, wet muscle swirling around him all the while you moan out wantonly urging him to take control again of your throat. Lapping over the slit that dribbled of pre cum, tasting salty against your tongue. The bitter taste fueling you to press back on him harder this time, desperate grunts falling into broken moans. Hips bucking back into your mouth, no problem with choking you to death if fate decided that now.

Besides the aggressive thrusts, your throat giving out with the constant tugs to your tender scalp. You took his cock like a champ, never complained once. Only downside of this you thought, was the carpet of his limousine brushed carpet burn to your knees, but of course nevertheless you were a cockslut. The man grunts again feeling himself closer to his end, “fuuck baby you’re going to make me cum fast if you keep sucking on me like that” he smiles down at your mess of a state, wiping your tears with the pad of his thumb thinking to himself how crazy it was that you still maintained to look this pretty. Tears of mascara dripping down to your cheeks contrasted to pink swollen lips, on your knees being obedient as ever.

He licks his lips coming from his thoughts, continuing to relentlessly fuck your mouth like you were his favorite fleshlight. “Fuck.., fuck” his chest rises “wanna see you take it all and hold it longer.” your eyes blink to his, and he knows just what to do to get his way “Can you do that for me pretty?” smile small, falling even more for his words of given pet names that meant nothing to him but all the everything to you. He recognized the hidden hints, yearning for more. Deciding to ignore it he hums motioning his head for you to get back to it. Even if the way he commanded you to do things was the resemblance to a dog, you didn’t care. If this is how he wanted to treat you, it was deserved. Besides, he was being so much nicer to you than usual. “Damn it," he moans for the umpteenth time head thrown back to his headrest, swallowing around him so fervently not pulling back for air. Holding eye contact begging for him to look at you, while hoping you could last. Your throat began to give out, finishing with a couple strokes later of bobs and swallows to his cock.

Trying his best to keep his eyes from rolling back, “My God.” he looks over his shoulder to check his phone, eyes faltering between you and the device letting out a sigh clicking his phone off. His fingers slipping back into his spot “You are magical or s-something” he was definitely not prepared though for the vibration of your giggle that went straight to his cock, he huffs with a long groan fisting digits into now knotted hair. Abs flexing with every clench to his jaw, trying to hold himself longer from falling apart.

Swallowing sporadically, breathing heavy throughout your nose. You knew he was getting close when he began to babble in tongues, “Oh oh gonna cum, gonna cum—” with various curses and chants of your name your lips pressed tightly around his shaft, sure that they were bruised by now. One last thrust then it’s two, you hold your throat just a bit longer counting back the seconds. Beginning to see stars from the lack of air, he cums, milky spurts of seed dripping down the back of your throat.

Satisfied sighs fell from his lips, feeling him fill your throat to it’s limit. Used to the bitter but somewhat sweet taste, most times liking it more than you would like to admit swallowing yoongi down to the last drop. You pull off with a wet *pop* sound gasping for breath, voice likely ruined but in your eyes it was all worth it. To see the aftermath of Yoongi lazily smirk every time at the lewd action no matter how many times you’ve done it, his muscles would always squeeze one last time. His digits slip from your hair now, cock heavy against his stomach while laid back just enough to take a deep breath.

Yoongi’s completely flustered, maybe at loss for words from his distracted stare “You are fucking crazy you know that?” he grows quiet again, lips parted with uneven breaths, pink tongue darting to lick his bottom lip. The small action not going missed by you, he grins cat eyes prominent. Yoongi sighed ignoring the underlying sentiment as per usual, “Give me a few and then we can fuck?” your eyes turn to slits teasing him, pulling boxers back over his cock. He hissed at the action clicking his teeth shut, your wrist stilled in his hand “No?” he gestured with eyes down to his cock, his half limp dick straining against him desperate. You could only roll your eyes clearing your throat, tapping to your esophagus “Water first please.” throat hoarse from the onslaught, he gasps to himself the realization handing you the bottle shortly apologizing before busying himself to his phone.

You sipped your water quietly watching him through scrunched brows, droplets trickling to your chin mixed with the remains of his cum. You give him an eye smile that was mirrored back to be the tightest lip one you’ve seen from him. But you didn’t question it, you knew he was tired and he wasn’t the most in check with showing his emotions. So you moved on both agreeing to take a small break, in no exact rush still being over an hour away from his place.

You’re straddled in his lap panties already thrown off, legs knocked apart worn somehow still in the tight snug satin dress that reached barely above your thighs. He questioned why you always dressed up for him, it was pointless in his mind. Always ending in him ripping whatever you were wearing off your skin every time without a beat, sparing you his not so sorry apologies that he would buy you a new whatever. His hands already busy roughly grabbing your chin pulling you in for a kiss, your tongue swiping across.

Lips parted allowing you to lick into his mouth, sloppily clashing with each other’s tongues and teeth. You whisper against his lips that you were in the mood still, his hand grabs onto your waist leaning over to grab a familiar foiled packet passing you the condom “Protection like you wanted.” his voice comes out with fake enthusiasm, acting as if he was on board using condoms when all other times he would beg if he could go raw.

You saved him the merciful act throwing the condom to wherever it landed, rolling your eyes at the feign surprise on his features while you were growing impatient. You rut your hips up against him, his eager fingers slipped down to swipe through your folds with ring clad fingers brushing barely. He smirks at the shine of your arousal coated on his fingers, sliding them right into your mouth “All wet from sucking cock, mh.” you ignored him just needing him inside of you now, spreading your thighs more hoping he would take the message. You align the tip of him over your soaking entrance, gentle but rough kisses trailed from his neck up to the shell of his ear.

The smell of your perfume filling his senses full, a sweet scent of tangerines and bourbon vanilla. He hums in contentment carding his fingers through your strands, tilting his neck for more of your mouth "You smell like my two favorite things.” he feels you squirm up against him, your entrance grazing over his cock waiting for permission ignoring his attempts to foreplay any further.

A hiss falling from his and your lips, hand on your hip while continuing to ignore your growing sexual frustration “You put that on for me i bet” he grins rocking you back and forth barely over him, listening aimlessly you whine impatient now “just- fuck me properly for once damn yoong-“ the moment those few stupid words left you, a brow quirks up at you in half amusement and the other in shock. Fingers quick to finding their home over your throat, long deft digits pressed feeling the coldness of diamond and gold plated rings grace you. Lips and teeth quickly coming to clash against yours, you draw him in closer biting down on his lip to tug back for your own enjoyment. Feeling his cock pulse against your cunt that pressed further in, your folds completely soaked of your essence coating him. He breaks back from the kiss to tug the straps of your dress down to pool at your waist, drooling at how your tits spilled with ease from the flimsy thin fabric.

Licking his lips with a smirk, knowing you forgone a bra now when he was around. Probably because he almost always ended up breaking the clasp, tearing your bra right from your chest. As if it was a crime to not see your tits bounce right in his face at every given moment “Yoongi p-please fuck.” he scoffs “Always fucking needy.” his hand fell from your throat, fingers quick to spreading you open. Your shiny slick dripping right from your cunt, cheeks burning red at the realization of how easily worked up you were from just dry humping each other “You want it don’t you baby, you need my cock that bad?” His gaze strong enough to melt your flesh off with how intensely he stared up at you “I do, please i-i need it” his palm cupped your cheek slipping his thumb past parted lips to shut you up.

The man smiling wolfishly mouthing right to your lust driven eyes “You asked for this.” your breath jumping right in your throat, pulling hips up for his cock to bottom all the way out to slam right back into you with timed haste. No time to think now when he immediately began to hit your sweet spot just right. Left to you yelping in a choked cry while clawing claws for nails into shoulders taking every one of his thrusts — yoongi grunts growing more and more feral his fingers boring into your cheek, thumb pressing down on the wet muscle. Your moans muffled begging for more of him, thighs clenched tight while you sunk up and down repetitively on his cock taking the stretch to your cunt all at once. Brows creased, a sheen layer of sweat forming to his hairline his eyes zeroing out at the way your cunt swallowed him with every thrust “This is all your fault baby, it’s what you get for being so fucking mouthy.” your hips buck forward mouth buried down into his shoulder, canines sinking into his flesh marking him. Lapping your tongue over any blood drawn, kissing him with no exact direction. Deeper whimpers fallen against his skin every so often, making zero sense of your mindless babbles.

He felt the heat build to his abdomen, slowing his thrusts down wanting to furlong his orgasm. Still holding onto him, you pull your mouth back from him to meet smiling brown eyes with your tearful ones that were on the edge of your impending orgasm. You were drooling, incapable of forming any words only your hooded irises a sign of being present. You could feel him in your stomach when he began to slow down, hand pressed between your thighs pleasuring your swollen clit. Letting you adjust to the size of his throbbing member, the sensation laced with pleasure no longer feeling the unforgiving burn as much. You arch out to him with every moan for his touch, pushing tits to his face feeling each time he bottoms out to you hitting places you could never dream reaching with your fingers.

Your tongues were kissing, noses knocking against each other with every thrust and bounce crying against his mouth that it was all too much while he cooed up at you patronizingly “Keep crying, baby. You’re making my cock hard.” he hissed against you, hot breath against yours making you squeeze your walls around him. Landing you a smack to your ass while Yoongi watched you began to break apart in his hold, glossy lost eyes and red cheeks staring to him just the way he liked it. Your warm skin naked only for his hungry eyes. Only craving for more of you the man pushed himself back deeper, hand to your face while the other held your hair. Feeling your walls begin to flutter around him your end coming close, mouth drawn agape desperately clinging to his sweaty skin.

"Tell me what you want." his groans guttural, keeping your hips continue a steady pace becoming sloppier with every passing minute

"P-please make me cum!" your legs tremble from holding yourself off for too long, just waiting to hear those few words.

"Go ahead, cum." he demanded watching you finally let go your body that seized in euphoria. While desperately rocking yourself against him, the feeling of your release making waves over his cock spilling over him while you shook and cried from pleasure. Your eyes barely flutter open coming slowly back down from your high, feeling him stare at you dumbfounded by your reactions through furrowed brows. His head titled resembling a confused puppy “Did I fuck you right this time?” his cocky smirk visible, rubbing the sides of your arms to calm the blubbering sobs that fell “I-I’m sorry” you sniffled with a cough, voice still rasped from earlier blinking tears away. Your head crashes to rest on his shoulder, hands moving to your hips to pull himself out from you.

You whimper from the sheer sensitivity, his fingers rubbing over your wet slick. Dragging your sticky arousal over your globes, whispering barely “You better get ready and take what I’m about to give you for being a stupid unapologetic whore.” you clamor quickly at his arms with panic shaking your head “N-no please yoongi, no more.” he pulls you back by your hair smiling at the way your eyes began to well again, rough calloused fingers pressed to bruise your hip “I was too nice earlier don’t you think? you don’t like nice baby, clearly.” he chuckles pulling you off from his lap whirling you to your front, head buried hilt to his seat your backside up in the air ass arched as on command.

It happened so quick you couldn’t even process it correctly, he hums back to you content with the compromising position he pulled you into, his toned taut chest pressed to your back “You want it harder don’t you sweetheart?” you sniffle feeling the smug grin down against your neck. His cock surely throbbed begging for release, watching the sight of your little mouth parted with cheeks burned pink, tongue stuck out your head nodded into the hot leather “Y-yes.” you would be lying if you didn’t like him being rough, the countless pleas to slow down were only foreplay. Yoongi himself knew that if you really wanted to stop you had a safe word, if you could be of use for his masochistic tendencies then you would indulge in it whole.

He scoffs pulling himself off from your back “So greedy baby, you’re going to regret ever saying yes.” you wiggle feeling his member throb with a quiet hiss, earning you another spanking “We’ll see about that M-Min.” barely able to muster those few words trying your best to keep the bratty front you once had “Right.” is all the man says before lining himself to your hole again, pressing himself down into you full while you gasped nails already clawing to his seat with shaky knees and a broken gasp “You feel so tiny,” he huffs with a grunt pacing himself further until he was buried deep inside of you “even after I just drilled you.” and while you thought he was going to torture you with slow thrusts, boy were you wrong. His hips immediately disconnect from yours snapping all the way back to your cunt, pounding viciously inside the tight heat just to hit every beat whatever song was playing within the car stereo.

Your only response was gripping the leather, face smushed to the seat muffling your loud whining moans. Sure that his driver could hear you by now “You like getting thrown around, hm? Used and abused like the good puppy you are.” a vile smile spreads across his sinister lips when occasionally your loud moans reached above the loud volume of his music. His length was stretching you once again, and he knew just every spot to probe repetitively pulling you into nothing but a puddle. Getting fucked so roughly, your head was blank to the point of being unresponsive in making any sense “Y-yoongi” you cry with every wet lewd smack that fell in your ears, the smell of sex and his cologne filling the air.

The complete opposite to how you were talking back minutes before; all the reason how you got here in the first place. Barely here with reality, becoming flustered and humiliated from how pathetic you probably looked. Almost like he was hearing your thoughts, probably taking note of the squeeze to your eyes with pursed lips trying to hold back your moans “What's wrong baby, few more minutes in this position and maybe next time you'll think better than being a fucking brat.” he growls roughly into your ear keeping his firm grip on the nape of your neck, not pounding any less harder into you watching your lips tumble back open.

"Am I hurting you?" the man asked hand snaked between trembling thighs, rubbing at your buzzing clit feeling you writhe in pain from the overstimulation. Whines and defeated moans tumbling from your lips, watching you fuck yourself back onto his hips.

"Y-yes yoongi!" you cried, trying to turn your head back but it was only pushed back into the seats. The man pulling all the way back out just to shove himself into your fluttering hole at once bouncing you back into him endlessly again.

"Good." a lopsided grin tugged at his corners

"Now repeat. No one can fuck you like me."

"N-no- no ah ah! no one can.."

"Finish the sentence."

"Can... fuck mnnh me like you do Yoongi!"

"Your body belongs to me."

"Please! oh fu-.."

"Say it or you don’t get to cum again."

“M-my my! everything is yours”

“Goooood girl.” his voice dropping another octave his tone drawn out with every syllable, followed with praising you from behind helping you ride your permitted high. Watching in amazement at the liquid that sprayed from your cunt while you squirt back all over his stomach, liquids left to drip down his thighs. Leaving him to groan slapping his fingers to your cunt, the gush continuing to leak all over his ring clad digits “What a dirty girl, you just couldn’t hold it in, could you?” you nod stupidly with an impure smile eyes fluttering. Drool dripping from the corners of your lips repeating his name drunkly an airy giggle falls from your lips. Absolutely gone in the afterglow of your pleasure.

His eyes ogling closely admiring how pretty you looked to him, while he blinked back from the feeling of you swatting his hands away to be rewarded with them pinned to your back “Stupid whore, you didn’t even let me cum yet.” he tsks to himself catching himself becoming breathless, after edging for so long he was frustrated and needed to cum now “And to think I was going to be nice once more by fucking my cum into you gently.” he shakes his head with a cocked grin, his bulbous red tip pressing back into your entrance acknowledging barely the hisses from your throat that cursed him under your breath “Hmmm you’re finally getting what you wanted, fucked properly? Right y/n, tell me baby. Tell me how much better I’m doing.” He growls slipping back as he pushes into your fluttering cunt, grabbing ahold of your waist reeling his hips back between each and every thrust. Unforgiving of all your whimpers of protest, he fucks into you slow but long thrusts as your head tilted back.

You could feel the warmth in your center resurfacing, growing more as he bounces you back on his dick. Basking in the pretty sounds you made moving over him, which he thought were the most sweetest yet hottest thing to welcome his ears. A loud gasp ripped itself from his throat, falling forward hot skin pressed to your back. Endlessly groaning into your ear, ropes of his seed coating your walls full feeling you squeeze around him just right. Yoongi hums content against skin, nipping and sucking a bruise to your neck while he finally decided to pull out to admire his work. He sighs out dreamily in his daze “Wish I could taste you right now.” he whispers more so to himself than you, spreading your pussy lips apart to watch his seed ooze from your fluttering abused hole.

He admires your cunt swollen and pink before helping you turn over on your back, half slouched over his seat deeming your trail of tears from the overstimulation.

You were sat back in your seat calming back down while he kept receiving text, you peek over to see his eyes were shut. And of course you were only curious.. so you peek over to see it.

Kiyomi (huge tits): answer meeee :c

Kiyomi (huge tits): i guess u don’t want me to come over tomorrow

Kiyomi (huge tits): hmph 😠

And you don’t know why you ever decided being curious was a good idea. You were fucking stupid, fuck the universe for creating your brain to be this incredulous with everything. You don’t know what to say, let alone think. Your eyes just stare aimlessly now at his phone, the device that sat burning between you and the man. His eyes slowly opening back wide to swipe his phone from you. Watching your once satisfied grin form into a look of utter shock and despair, only watching the man go on about not to look at his phone with a hiss of annoyance “Don’t be fucking stupid and look at my phone.” and just like that he made things worse, were you really sure of what you just saw? He was never a mediator for your feelings, why did you ever get your hopes up.

He attempts to decipher what’s going on in your mind right now, looking for answers in your furrowed features while nothing was shown but pained silence.

You could feel your own insides squirming, your whole body burning still. While you settled down on his leathered seats properly, your chest began to move in abrupt tandem up and down with arising anxiety of what is about to come.

You had always been the different contrasts of you in bed, every moment of yoongi’s pleasure he liked the way you could take anything. But there was something controlled in it that had frightened him. You never let go, even when he was falling apart inside you. Sometimes you would rest on his shoulder, kissing at his neck breathless a mumble falling through swollen lips but that terrified him to no doubt, which left him doing the thing that was best and it was ignoring it all.

You crawl yourself away with a wobble to your legs he reaches out to hold you up, gentlemanly out of all the times you fucked “Woah, what are you doing are you ok,” your teeth gnaws on the redden petal of your lip moving to the seats across from him that connected in the limo, ignoring him straight not even sparing eye contact. But of course that doesn’t stop him from continuing on to speak “Was I too rough, did I hurt you?” your hurt grew into a mix of annoyance in more attempts to mask your pain you felt it was best muttering out the first few words that came off the top of your foggy mind because you were sick and tired of his blatant denial “Can’t believe ‘m fucking a midget in my free time.” this was a low blow and maybe harsh but you didn’t care nor were you thinking, yoongi sat back in the leathered seats remaining unbothered at the satirical jab.

Smiling ear to ear wearing that stupidly charming Cheshire grin of his “and you sure love fucking this midget sweetheart,—” you scoffed, not giving him the time of night to go on. Your eyes muster the courage to stare immediately to his, sending straight daggers to his dilated black pupils that noticed you were sniffling tears before sighing in hopelessness “Must feel pathetic for you then? im quite literally your height Yoongi.. if not taller.” this was doing nothing for you in attempts to soothe your self worth, if anything he embraced being small. He loved himself, you shouldn’t be surprised that he embraced everything of himself. There was nothing else to point out that was imperfect in your eyes, at least except maybe the plain obvious: his god awful ego and complex.

You should’ve called him out, you really fucking should of. But you don’t, you weren’t planning to accept any of this fully. In your own denial that he was never going to change and you didn’t want to accept that there was no room in his heart for you. Apart of you is in love with yoongi, you care and love him with all of you as much as you tried to deny it. If you didn’t you wouldn’t be sat across from him with carpet burn for knees, bare naked sporting the knots in your hair. All the while brimming fresh tears, you tried not to break down and scream out how you really felt with all of this, everything.

You felt sick now having to wear his clothes pulling on the shirt he passed to you silently, thanks to his great habit of ripping your clothes to shreds. You swear under your breath at how you were going to smell so strongly of him later.

His eyes widen in confusion, he adjusts himself knowing he wasn’t going to fulfill another orgasm tonight. Slipping his half hard cock back into his slacks, the zipping sound stings your ears with cringe. The whole reality of your situation hitting you internally, thoughts interrupted of his gruff voice knowing eyes staring into your red ones.

You could just stare into his eyes with false hope needing your answer now, wanting to hear the few words you yearned to hear for the past months.

“Are you crying.. y/n?”

he moves closer across the seats that connected to where you sat. You should tell him to stop, but you don’t. You turn your back to him in your seat with relatalition a slight wobble in your movement, your lip trembles pulling the spare sweats he had to share. Back on feeling the calm before the storm of your impending heart break about to unfold.

“N-nope, ‘m not yoongi.” you wince at your weak attempt to mask your hurt, it was obvious that your voice was on the verge of more incoming tears. And you had prayed to the heavens from above that somehow he was too tone deaf to catch on. But the heavens failed you, of course.

A cold hand is at your waist eliciting goosebumps, hot breath over the shell of your ear “We can stop for the night if you are uncomfortable, hm?” There’s somehow still a soft scent to him that is masked with his musky cologne you think it’s his detergent “Never want to make you feel like you are forced to do this, we can go in to just relax.” and it stings your heart even more because you know if he dropped this complex, and somehow had a change of heart he could maybe just maybe be yours. His death induced glares when others stared at you for too long were not missed, or the way he made it known to his colleagues that you were only his to fuck as degrading as it came to be. The reality of this all is you were his completely, he even knew this himself but ignored any advances you have shown and now you knew you needed to accept it this time for your own good. You didn’t know any better, you didn’t want to take no for an answer once it came all down to it.

“Yoongi please.”

his chin rests on your shoulder, a small hum reverberating against your skin. A shaky exhale escapes you finally speaking up but just barely, “Am I the only one?” you feel his hand from your waist drop, his chin gone with a rough cough as if you asked something rudely insulting “No, you aren’t.” your head drops to your shoulders, with pursed lips you nod finally turning to face him. Just to be met with sorry eyes, wearing a look of seriousness noticing the way he gnawed the inside of his cheek out of habit looking for a sign of what to do, “Ok, o-” you weren’t stupid, you saw the texts there in plain sight. You just wanted him to reassure you.. how sad and desperate are you “You had to have known this already, you know me y/n.” Your heart stings again because somehow you did know deep down already, even before the texts. When you came over to his place with the scent of perfume that wasn’t yours and the stench of sex that lingered in the air, or even the times you would find leftover condom wrappers in the bin that you just knew weren’t from your nights together.

He was never going to truly belong to you, let alone anybody else. And that kind of soothed your heart in some love sick way, that if you couldn’t have him then no one else could. Emotions race through your mind until you couldn’t dissect the feelings between anger or hurt. Your words were caught straight in your throat and you didn’t know what to say, you had to say something because his eyes continued to bore into yours as if you held all the truth in your little mind.

“Do you.. want me more than this, maybe if we could try to be.” you sigh shakily “More than friends with benefits?”

It’s silence, deafening to the soft ambiance of his spotify playlist only heard. The volume turned down now, low enough that you would have to be this quiet to make out the songs being played. You notice now that the engine of the vehicle was no longer on, which meant you arrived to his flat.. over an hour from home and you felt inevitably stuck. You were to stay the night but now you weren’t so sure of that idea.

He speaks up with a short breath of laughter looking into your eyes, hoping to find any signs you were joking “You are playing with me right, it’s honestly funny to think we would ever date.” those words he already repeated, bounced integrating in your thick skull.

There it was, those painful few words that crushed everything in you within seconds.

“Why not.. we spend all this time together already and we get along r-right? We don’t argue that much, why, why can’t you give us a chance?”

You sounded desperate, because you sincerely were. If there was any bystanders you were sure they would have laughed. You really had all hope if you begged enough that he would have the heart to give you a chance, but how silly that you lived in your head of false reality until someone had to take the extreme measures of hurting you properly to wake you up from your daydream.

His stare gapes at you just like you were a joke, his arms to his chest now with his mouth agape in a mid scoff of disbelief mixed with laughter shaking his head “Are you fucking kidding me y/n? We fight to the point where you cry and cry, until I have to leave you alone so you can calm the fuck down.”

He pauses, pinching the bridge of his nose eyes shut in annoyance with an exasperated sigh floating from his lips. There’s a sly roll to his eyes that you catch instantly, your heart dropping into your stomach.

“We, us.. whatever you think this is,” his fingers point motioned between you two “This is a situation where two people fuck with no strings attached. I have made that very fucking clear, i’m never going to be in a relationship with you or anyone for that matter.”

Words of bitter truth and honesty fell on deaf ears, you stare out in nothing but ringing in your head that wouldn’t stop. Reality doesn't appear to be real anymore, you only remember the moments before all of this coming into his car. Looking out through the window with lips tracing onto your neck whispers of completely meaningless praise, you wanted to go back to those last moments and redo everything no matter how wrong it was to wish. You shouldn’t have asked, you hated change and you wanted to take everything back, why did you even bother.

A hand comes to place on your shoulder again, jerking back from a touch that somehow felt the equivalence to a sting. No longer familiar with warmth that used to spread throughout your body into butterflies. Your body tenses, unable to process anything but his worrisome eyes staring to yours with nothing but pure pity. Your own stared to his and you wanted to speak, feel anything but the ringing sensation throughout your body. Most of the time you would have bawled your eyes out by then, all of your emotions were waiting to implode from your body and finally..it was all too intense to take. You did the ethical thing of rushing out the car door that was already opened by his driver, not sure for how long. At this point not even giving a damn what he all witnessed.

You don’t know where you are running, your mind has not a clue with direction. Your body trampling over to the nearest bush puking your guts out. You hate the feeling like you are a burden to him, Yoongi. Someone he feels obligated to worry for. You just being as capable of protecting yourself and he knows that, he knows you are strong and able to take care of your well-being. Next time, next time you will be stronger and and- fuck you don’t know. Will there even be a next time?

“Y/n what the fuck are you doing!”

His voice is an urgent yell and that’s when you realize you can’t breathe. Your chest hurts something tight and heavy, you don’t know why. His breath is coming up next to you in heavy breaths. Your vision is starry like, a mess just like you. This whole situation between you and Yoongi has triggered many panic attacks to happen before but you always caught yourself grounding back to earth before they could succumb to you. When this triggered your anxiety, when you have difficulty being around other people. You begin to experience things in a 3rd perspective. The sense of your body leaving you, feeling as if it was floating off into oblivion and you can’t stop it from pulling you further from the present of life.

A blunt cold wind of winter air hits against your flushed skin and all your body could do was continue to vomit everything that was left from your stomach. In the midst of crying your eyes out his worried tensed voice calling out, feeling fingers pull your hair back into a makeshift pony tail. Not looking to see him motion his driver to park his car while he handled you. Only able to stare through your blurry vision down at the snow covered concrete ground, somehow finding some solace in that. Your hands shakily holding themselves up over, knees trying to not to collapse at the ground. It was so hard that you felt your body shutting down, before your knees decide to buck when his hand pulls your back close to his chest “What the fuck are you doing running away like that? Stay, stay still Jesus Christ.” you continue to squirm in his grasp, broken sobs ripping right from your throat.

Only pushing your head to his shoulder, hand tucked over the back of your head rocking you both side to side while he finally calms you down. You being the first to pull yourself from his shoulder, he sighs out shakily pulling the napkin from his coat pocket. Cold fingers hooked under your chin holding onto you tight so you couldn’t deny him. You make the great mistake of looking into his eyes, he smiles solemn at your broken features making you want to throw up all over again.

Tears left you falling silently to your chin with every sniff, wiping your nose, cheeks and mouth of any excess of whatever you had and still were mustering. Pushing the napkin back in his pocket, eyes tiredly look into his with no life found in them no longer. Only glassy empty doe eyes staring into his, your lips formed down into a pout that he couldn’t stop to find himself cute. As fucked as it was given the situation. He holds his gaze not faltering once, fingers finally leaving your skin. Your eyes look to the ground feeling sudden warmth of his coat around your shoulders and this time, you couldn’t find the strength in you to reject him once more. You accepted it, your gaze lingering back to him with a look of sadness mixed in confusion. All yoongi could offer to you was his hand to your back, walking with you by his side to his apartment in silence. The snow falling onto both of your hair and dissolving into your skin, unbothered to wipe any that fell to your lashes.

You’re in his apartment worn in a change of clothes that were his, which you found odd since you had few pairs of clothes tucked away in his closet. You questioned yoongi and his smile small, explaining that you needed a sweater rather than a tank top. Right.. that’s what it was, not because he wanted you in his clothes. You nod accepting it and resume your eyes back to your phone to continue watching cat videos to distract yourself from another spiral of dissociation, ignoring Yoongi’s presence completely.

While you’re left in your own little world cooing at the cat that walked on its hind legs out of being frighten, you giggle feeling for the feline. He calls your name which you ignore, he huffs. Listening to foot steps pad closer to you he hums before deciding in speaking softly to you “Made you kong-guksu” your eyes widen trailing slowly over the bowel that begged you to be devoured, you push your protests aside and take the tray and bowl with you before stuffing cheeks full that puffed of food. Your brows pinched humming as if you were angry at the food slurping it down so eager to eat every bite, when he catches the action he smiles foolishly up from his phone sat down across from you.

Your figure wrapped in blankets around your lower half tucked to the couch watching the compilation down at your phone of cat videos smiling to yourself or every so often cooing at the screen with a quiet squeal while sipping your soup taking the last small bites. You would occasionally look back up at him to find a hint of a small grin hovered over his lips, only sending a bitter grimace. eyes shot back down immediately to your phone with a genuine smile, reminded of the kittens on your screen drinking milk.

He’d hope you guys would end up talking but you barely said a word to him since the car, he couldn’t blame you. But it lessen his impatience to no end, he had so much to say. Hopefully morning would be different, time later on ended in you restlessly passing out asleep on his couch, he thanked the universe you were too tired to call an Uber home to avoid of him.

Landing you here and now, right into his bed nestled close to a warm chest in the early morning.

You huff and groan growling lowly to yourself at the unasked for gesture tearing the blankets right off from you and tumbling out of bed to haul ass to his living room trying to find your jumbled mess of thoughts along with your belongings.

You felt disgusted he would even have the confidence to put you and him in the same bed after the recent events that have taken place probably with that girl, you could feel the bile coming back to your throat. Feeling yourself spiraling back down into an abyss of awful thoughts hoping they would stop. Which somehow the universe listened to you uncannily, it was rhetorical universe damn it.

“Hey.. don’t leave yet. We need to talk.” a gruff deep voice wakens you more, maybe the wrong things especially given your situation but you push that aside. You take a deep breath both of you standing in his living room awkward and terse, his eyes trailing over your face to see how tired and restless you looked.

“I.. I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

Your voice sounds broken, and it hurts him.

“No. It wasn’t a question, we are going to talk whether you like it or not.” he’s already being defensive, he knows it wasn’t a good approach to take at all. He talked to himself all night of what to say once this conversation happened so why the hell did he just make things worse.

You practically stagger in your movement before laughing at him bitterly, so fucking done with this. Fuck him and fuck kiyomi, fuck everyone.

“You can’t be for real, what do you want me to do, you want me to hug you like I did before?” you scoff trying your best to hold all of the emotions you buried back, of course terribly failing “Do you want me to watch a movie cuddled next to you and pretend that everything is ok because,” you take a heavy breath before continuing to fume and seethe in your anger not realizing your hands trembled down by your sides “I- can’t and pretend that I’m not in love with you Min fucking Yoongi!”

he has nothing to say, completely speechless. Are you surprised, no. He has no capability of having sympathy or understanding of your feelings even if they aren’t able to be returned.

He is silent. Hurting because you’re hurting, he knows you don’t want his pity. But he can’t help the urge to want to hold you close, craving for your warmth against him. But you only step back further away “Y/n.” yoongi reaches out, but you just take another step.

“No.” you mumble, “You’ll hold me and say we’re friends with special circumstances but no— I don’t want to just be your damn friend.” “I want to kiss you freely and call you mine.”

Your heart is practically lurching out of your chest, you don’t know when you got this bold but it feels freeing to be able to say what you have held in for this long, the truth always comes out no matter what. As cliche as that is, it’s so painstakingly true.

“Ok. Ok I’m sorry.. I fucking mean that. I never meant to lead you on, ok? I honestly didn’t know what to do, im being honest here.. I mean that.”

and you know Yoongi is being honest, you see it in his eyes and can render his body language and facial expressions for being real and genuine. How saddening you have to do an analysis on him to see if he is lying or not, you couldn’t stop yourself from bitterly laughing with a shake in your shoulders walking past him to sit yourself on the couch. Honestly all your care in the world right now slowly left your body, deciding you were going to do and say whatever you wanted.

You can tell he is beginning to become nervous when you notice he gnaws on the corner of his lip, twisting and turning his rings before heavily trying to mask his sigh “Ok.. ok let’s stop. Let’s, let’s fix this.” he sees your eyes peek up in wide eye confusion, what the— “Is this all because of Kiyomi?” ding ding we have a winner “Of.. of course it fucking is, how would you like it if I hooked up with someone else and they texted me in the middle of sex with you.” a shaky breath leaves you before looking into his clueless eyes genuinely asking him this

“Would you like that Yoongi, please. Would you really?”

And the way you see him close his eyes, taking a deep breath and slowly open his eyes and stare at you with a lethal glare. You know you just hit an unexpected nerve. He didn’t want to answer that, he sent the signal clear and straight when he gives you a pointed look his eyebrow cocked. And usually you would back down and apologize, but no, fuck him. He deserves what is about to come right the fuck now.

You pause and drift off to stare at your phone purposely before a crooked grin forms on your face and you can just feel him tense when you hear a soft breath shake out from his lips.

“Maybe it’s best we just..” you look up at his eyes with that look, the one that leaves him all the types of confused “you know, end this and I hook up with someone else while you get her.” you press on with a devious smirk fiddling with your phone as if you were in thought of who to contact.

He doesn’t respond and you realize you’ll continue then, huh. He’s always been a hard one to crack. You bite your lip hard, eyes set at his dark irises that grew with that look you just gave him.

“Don’tcha think min?” you know he hates it when you address him formally, like this. Maybe he can read it in your gaze.. you can’t really tell. He is too good at hiding his actual feelings, it doesn’t help your small brain but no need. He confirms you have woken the untamed beast in it’s locked cage.

“Well may-be you fucking should sleep with someone since you seem so set on the god damn idea y/n. Go a fucking head.” He growls throwing his hands in the air in defeat turning his back while you just turn your big eyes to implore over his that looked over his shoulder, noticing he faltered begging you with droopy sad eyes to deny the idea and you could but.. mmm, no. You decide to spit venom in his direction dragging it further “‘Kay, will do.” your smile pursed proudly with that shit eating grin only a brat could master in pissing someone off with, while you went to your phone and acted as if you were texting someone before a special hand snatched the phone right from your hands.

“What the fuck y/n. You are kidding me right, were you actually going to text someone?” he stares at you crazed holding your phone in the air not even wanting to look and see you only had your notes app open had typed in random letters.

You mumble to yourself arms crossed pouting all over again like a baby “Yep. You do the same, in fact you did it to me the second after i sucked your stupid dick,” your shoulders only slack giving up with the prospect “Why cant I then?” your smile graceful now staring up at him through lashes

and while you are muddled in your thoughts ready for your next retort the man of the hour speaks “I’ll be dammed to let you sleep with someone else.”

“Huh. What are you going to d-“ and just like that yoongi won’t even allow you to breath the final words of your sentence before your tongues can clash into a sloppy make out session, he tells you right against your lips in a hushed demand “I’ll fucking drop her. Don’t you dare think about hooking up with someone else, I’m fucking sorry, ok?” you inhale his breath practically nodding your head off, licking your lips. Nose to nose right now and you just can’t help yourself to reel back into his forbidden never ending trap.

“If I can’t have your heart at least let me have your dick” you grumble under your breath and he only can snicker at the remark, his shocked jealousy falling quickly into genuine laughter.

He thinks it’s funny but really you’re huffing out pouncing off from the couch stomping over to hit his chest “I am not kidding Yoongi, I’m so serious.” your eyes implore on his, pout visible while he decides to pull at your lip letting it pop back in place making a blop sound “I heard you.” he hooks your chin for both of your eyes to meet his slacked, relaxed even you could say while yours remained wide “You’re cute you know, too bad you’re dumb” you groan breaking from his weak grasp — smacking his arm leaving yourself to plop back to the couch

“You’re stupid, not me.”

Once more you aren’t allowed to think before both of your sloppy mouthes ghost over each looking into each other’s lust filled eyes gasping and moaning into each other with every lick, tasting bitter lime suspecting he drunk while you slept. Your brows furrowed trying to get ahold of yourself grasping onto his jaw.

He shouldn’t look this good, feel this good.

But you just nod in a daze, forehead moved over against his shoulder before moving again a finger hooked under your chin. Kissing your lips feeling your heart jump in your chest gasping out “Fuck y/n,” Yoongi chokes, head thrown back before resting back onto you “God, look what you do to me.”

You don’t respond but he continues to speak, “Just don’t go” “please.” you almost missed how his voice wavered, and you smiled tired thinking back to the previous night where you dreamt he rocked you close to him in his arms at night, lulling you to sleep with soft touches of his fingers rubbing your scalp with eyes falling heavy of sleep head resting on his chest.

You never wanted anyone to wreck havoc on whatever this was, but the thing was.. no one needed to. You and yoongi wrecked each other enough, you would fight and fight then fuck the anger and sorrow from one another to become breathless and whisper sweet nothings that you guys were gonna be ok and that you forgave each other.

You finally came to a realization, this was an endless loop from here and you knew this would end badly.

Just like your friend told you before “you’re no stranger to love and he wouldn’t be waiting for you if there was a given chance, he thinks you won’t leave and he believes that if you do you would meet again, suffering together all over.” and you smile sadly because it was true, you only suffered together but you didn’t mind that.

Loving him too much to let go, it was unhealthy and an endless circle of nothing coming your way.

You think you and Yoongi are good people morally but this was nothing the sorts of good you both carried on your own, even if others thought Yoongi was a horrible person and maybe you thought that yourself at times. But all that aside you saw good in him beneath all the bad, here you are to nod happily receiving a sweet corner kiss with a quiet whisper of hot breath telling you all the nothing but

“I knew you would stay.”

°˖✧ critique + feedback is welcomed ԅ( ˘ω˘ԅ )

a/n: for my fourth time writing im proud of this story !!꒰˘꒳˘๑꒱໒ ‘twas planning to do a two shot but i dunno this story seems pretty straight forward with where this “relationship” would take them.. nonetheless i hope you liked it and of course don’t be shy tell me your thoughts (💭💭)

just sit pretty | jjk & myg

synopsis: jungkook's hands are wandering all over your body while yoongi is asleep on your couch. can you fulfill your desires without waking him up?

p: jungkook x reader x yoongi

wc: 4.1k of gratuitous smut

genre/rating/au: 18+ | threesome, est. rel. au (jjk) | smut, slight crack

warnings: *cracks knuckles* okay, here we go: pwp, reverse cowgirl, idk if this counts as public sex but it’s in front of a sleeping person, exhibitionism, alcohol mention, breast play, cockwarming, unprotected sex, dry humping, dirty talk (jk is kinda mean), thigh job, pussy slapping, name calling :), orgasm delay, fingering, oral (m receiving), clothed sex, hair pulling, throat fucking, handjob, face slapping, breath play (asphixiation), tit slapping, messy sex, there’s a lot of spit?, hand kink, caught having sex... i think that's it

a/n: uhh... happy new years! merry christmas! surprise! to all my yoonkook whores out there, this is my extremely belated chrimbo present to you.

posted: jan 8th, 2022

m. list | ao3

There's really nothing better than cuddling up with your boyfriend while it's heavily snowing outside.

You’re currently wrapped up under the weight of a large white blanket, with your head tucked neatly under Jungkook’s chin as the two of you watch a documentary, the soft glow of the TV washing the room with whites and golds. Your eyelids are heavy, sleep whispering in your ear as you feel both your heartbeats melting into one.

It would have been a picturesque scene, romantic even, if it weren't for the fact that there's a certain older man that's taking all the space on your couch, banishing you and Jungkook to the small recliner in the corner.

For some reason unknown to you, Yoongi insisted on staying over at you and your boyfriend’s shared apartment despite living only a few more minutes down the road. And although you tried sending signals to Jungkook that you don’t want Yoongi in your apartment, your tender-hearted boyfriend doesn’t have the heart to deny the elder's request.

All things considered, the closeness isn’t so bad. The combination of the smell of Jungkook’s aftershave and his long fingers drawing absentminded shapes on your thighs has you sighing contently into his shoulder. Coupled with the large amount of boozy eggnog you consumed at Hoseok’s new year's party, you’re positive you’re slipping towards the best sleep of your life; feeling safe, warm, and secure in his arms.

That is until Jungkook’s hand creeps closer towards the hem of your shorts; the baggy ones you stole from his wardrobe that provides ample space for his large hand to slip into the pant leg. You look up to see if it's a mistake, your heart thrumming a bit quicker in hopes that it isn't. Jungkook stares straight ahead, barely glancing down at you, and you scoot closer to place a small kiss on his neck.

But then he does it again.

This time, when your eyes slide over to his face, Jungkook can't hide the small, mischievous smile. You're about to say something when he silences you with a glance. He juts his chin to the TV, a silent prompt for you to keep your eyes straight ahead.

Even though you're prepared for the next contact, it's hard to keep your moans to yourself when he drags his knuckle over your clothed slit. His finger goes up and down; from your clit to your entrance, and back again. Your body responds to his touch; your spine locking in place as the world blurs around you.

"Jungkook," you whimper faintly.

You spot the tongue prodding on the side of his cheek as his hand stills, head whipping towards the couch.

You follow his gaze to find that Yoongi's still asleep.

Jungkook adjusts your seating so that your back lies flushed against his chest. He dips his head to nip at the shell of your ear before whispering, “Shhh. We don’t want to wake our guest up. Try to be quiet, yeah?”

Your teeth sink into your bottom lip as you nod.

Jungkook lifts the hem of your shirt and pulls the cups of your bra down. He squeezes your tits together as his thumbs circle and roll your hardening nipples. His lips make their way to your neck, just at the base of your hairline, where they attach themselves on the tender skin. Your mind is set aflame at the languid way he paws and fondles your breasts.

Your boyfriend is pretending to be completely oblivious to the torture he’s set. You have to choke back a groan when Jungkook twists your nipples between his forefinger and your thumb, the strike of electricity causing your body to shudder. He repeats the action a few more times, rolling, pinching, tugging, turning you more and more putty in his hands. Jungkook couldn’t care less about the way you squirm. He ignores the way your thighs press together or the way you’re biting back moan after moan as you're left completely at his mercy.

Every few seconds, your eyes trail to the sleeping figure to your right, and when you deem that Yoongi is still spending his time in dreamland, you allow yourself a small mewl of ecstasy.

“Can I make you cum with your tits, babe?” Jungkook whispers into your neck as he licks some of the marks he’s left behind.

“I don’t know… I don’t t-think so?” you respond. Yet when he tugs your nipples with such force that it has your back bending towards his palms, you feel lighting strike your spine, and for the first time that night, you moan loud enough that it causes Jungkook to remove his hand from under your shirt to clamp around your mouth.

After determining that Yoongi is still very much asleep, Jungkook forces his remaining hand underneath the waistband of your shorts and panties, discarding the garments onto the floor.

“What did I fucking say about being too loud, huh? Fucking Christ!” he growls as he thrusts two of his fingers inside until they hit the back of your throat.

Jungkook pinches your clit in punishment, and your back curves at the sharp pain. You can’t moan; can hardly breathe with his thick fingers crowding your mouth. He does it again, much harder than the last before slipping the tip of his pointer finger inside your hole, thrusting shallowly on purpose to miss the sensitive patch of nerves. Your hips try to chase after the lingering sensation, but his muscled forearm holds you in place, and you’re left squirming; helpless as he draws out your suffering.

“If only you listened to me earlier,” he tuts mockingly, giving the shell of your ear another harsh nip.

You whine in disappointment when Jungkook removes his finger from your cunt, but that earns you another harsh pinch, forcing you to swallow the curses that's threatening to bubble up. You're thrashing in his arms, frustrated at the lack of stimuli. You hear the muffled sound of a zipper opening, and Jungkook bucks his hips into your core as he slides his shorts down. Your eyes roll shut when he does it again.

The soft material of his boxers give you ample friction against your nub, and you grind together with his movements, soaking the fabric with your essence.

“That’s it, angel, just like that. Yeah,” Jungkook groans.

He begins to thrust his fingers into your mouth in a rhythm that matches the sway of your hips. The stimulation is driving you crazy, and the fact that Yoongi is right there and could wake up any second fills you with a carnal hunger that only makes you grind harder. Faster.

“Pretty angel. You wish it was my fat cock in your mouth, huh?” He pinches your tongue between his fingers. “Look at you slobbering over my hand… You're such a fucking mess.”

“J-Jungkook…” you whimper through your crowded mouth. “Empty…”

“What’s that, angel? What’s empty? Is it this cunt of yours?” Jungkook cups your core with his large hand, and begins to grind slow circles on your clit with the heel of his palm before tugging his cock out from its confines.

He taps the blunt head of his cock against your core. "Is this what you want?"

Despite having memorized it, you want nothing more than to see Jungkook’s thick length as he slides the head against your puffy lips. You slide your messy cunt over his shaft, and your head rolls back when the tip slips inside. That small burst of euphoria would explode in your brain, but Jungkook has other plans, and he always pulls out before you’re able to plunge him fully inside.

This little game that he’s playing is getting old, but with your mouth still full, you can’t make any requests aside from the short frustrated grunts of air as Jungkook, yet again, slips out from your pulsing walls.

“Eager, aren’t you?” Jungkook chuckles into your ear. “Aren’t you afraid that Yoongi might wake up?” Mercifully, he slips his fingers out of your mouth so you can speak.

“You started this,” you whine.

“And I can stop it too.”

After uttering those words, Jungkook stills completely. When you look back in dismay, he wears a cocky smile, his hands crossed in front of his clothed chest, with an eyebrow raised up in a challenge.

“Sup?” he asks mockingly with a tilt of his chin.

You say nothing as you stare into his eyes, annoyed that he's fucking with your right now. You squeeze your thighs together, surrounding his length with your warmth, but he doesn’t react; that shit-eating grin still plastered on his face.

Looks like you’re going to have to wipe that off yourself.

Keeping your eyes on him as best as you can, you prop your hands on the arms of the chair. Lifting your body slightly, you squeeze and unsqueeze your thighs around his length. The gasp from behind you is all you need to feel triumphant, your lips curving upwards into a victorious smirk. Yet it doesn’t last, because Jungkook, in his immeasurable strength, is able to hold you down and force your legs apart.

“Fine. Here’s the cock you fucking love so much.” He rasps the harsh words in your ear before he lifts you up by the thighs and buries his cock into you in one fluid motion.

Your body shudders at the sudden intrusion; your head lolling backwards onto his shoulder limply.

“So goddamn tight,” he hisses through his teeth. “Don't go passing out on me, you have a job to do.” Jungkook takes hold of your hand and brings it towards your clit. “Rub that pretty pussy for me until you cum.”

Underneath the blanket, you’re beginning to burn, its soft fabric scratchy against your sensitive skin. But you keep it on, afraid to expose your depravity to Yoongi, even if he’s still sound asleep. You glance towards the sleeping figure one more time while you move your fingers with uncertainty.

Is he really asleep? Can't he hear the soft pants that's spilling past your lips?

Jungkook pinches your nipples in warning. "Get on with it, angel."

At first, your fingers shake as you press ight circles on the sensitive nub, but you eventually find a good rhythm; your hips rocking into your palm.

“That’s it baby,” he groans, his eyes rolling back. “I can feel you tightening up for me. It feels so fucking good.”

His own hands return to your tits, although his touch this time is much gentler. When you’re close to the peak, Jungkook demands that you speed up, replacing your fingers with his own as he tips you by the hair so he can watch every hint of bliss on your face.

Jungkook opens his mouth to mimic your own quiet moans. “Oh shit, so tight for me. God, I want to bend you over and fuck you until you scream.” Then he hisses as your walls pulse around him before delivering a spank on your clit. “What the fuck? Is that what you want? Oh, you filthy fucking bitch. Does the thought of being watched turn you on? Fine then,” his hand leaves you to rip the blanket away from your burning figure, “try not to scream.”

With both hands under your thigh, Jungkook pulls you up so that only the tip of his cock remains inside of you before forcing you back down. “Oh, fuuuck!” he groans with careless abandon. He uses your body like a rag doll, moving your hips for you as he sinks repeatedly into your heat.

“Shit… Jungkook…” It’s impossible to keep your voice down with Jungkook spearing inside of you. Your brain has turned to mush – hyperfocusing on just the pleasure between your thighs.

You twist towards Jungkook, catching him on the lips between raspy moans. You’re hot, sweaty, and your thighs are starting to ache, but you continue to chase that bliss like a madwoman, grunting at every drag of him inside.

“I’m close,” you whisper into his mouth.

“Good, fuck, me too,” Jungkook husks. He catches your tongue between your lips and sucks at the tender muscle. "Cum with me, baby. I can't wait to fill you up."

You moan dutifully in his mouth, caught in the dizzying sensation—

“What the fuck?”

You yelp as you scramble away from Jungkook. You pull the blanket off the floor to cover yourself, even though you know it’s too late. Yoongi definitely saw everything, although right now, he seems to find your beige-coloured walls to be suddenly interesting.

The seconds seem to tick by slowly. Ugh. This was precisely why you didn’t want anyone to sleep over in your shared apartment. How the fuck are you going to get out of this mess?

Jungkook has the gall to look sheepish, flashing the older man a cute smile that shows off his dimples. “Sorry, I was horny, and she’s so soft, yknow?”

“You couldn’t have, I don’t know, moved to the bedroom?” Yoongi asks, appalled.

You’re about to apologize to save your modesty when Jungkook scoffs behind you, rolling his eyes. “Oh, come on! This is our apartment, we can fuck wherever and whenever we want.”

Yoongi drags his palm over his beet-red face, still refusing to look at the two of you. “That doesn’t mean the living room where there’s a fucking guest sleeping not even a foot away, asshole!”

“For the record, you’re the one intruding,” you huff.

“Yeah! So, it’s technically your fault,” Jungkook chimes in, and squeezes you against his chest. “Feel free to leave, by the way, the door is that way.”

The silence lingers. Yoongi’s fidgeting; he’s crossing and uncrossing his legs. It's then that you wonder why he hasn't gotten up to leave, but you quickly find your answer when your eyes fall past the black turtleneck that shows off his built chest, and onto his lap.

You're about to say something when Jungkook cuts you off, muttering curtly, “Ugh, whatever. If you don’t mind, I have to give my girlfriend a mindblowing orgasm. You can leave or you can join us.”

“Jungkook!” You and Yoongi shout in unison, but for very different reasons.

He rips the blanket away from you and continues his pace as though Yoongi didn’t just interrupt you and he isn’t now watching you fuck. You’re having a hard time feeling embarrassed, because it’s been replaced with relief. Now, you can moan however loud you want without the risk of waking up another human being.

You slide your eyes towards Yoongi, and to your surprise, you find his eyes already on you. His adam’s apple bob as he swallows thickly. You peel Jungkook’s hand away from your hip, and place his fingers in your mouth. Without breaking eye contact, you coat the digits with your spit, and you groan audibly when Jungkook pushes them further inside.

“Shit.” Yoongi swallows again, still full of hesitancy.

Jungkook responds with a breathy chuckle. “How about you replace my fingers? I don’t think my girl will be satisfied if you don’t join in on the fun.”

You moan in agreement, fluttering your eyelids for added effect.

With an audible groan, Yoongi stands from the couch. On his way to approach you, he strips himself off his pants and boxers, showing off his impressive length. Your mouth salivates at the thought of his cock in your mouth. He's thicker than Jungkook, but not as long. You want to lick the veins that decorate his shaft, all the way down to his balls. Yoongi's cock twitches as you ogle openly, but what comes out of his mouth is–

“A-Are you sure this is cool?”

“Fuck, Yoongi, just stick your dick in her already,” Jungkook groans.

You find this sort of hilarious – how the normally stoic Yoongi can be rendered so speechless. You know better than anyone that your boyfriend has a one-track mind. Right now, Jungkook is hardly paying attention to what's happening because he’s too busy chasing his own high. He couldn't care less whether Yoongi fucks you, but you secretly hope that the older man doesn't just pull up his pants and bail.

Your whine signifies to Jungkook that Yoongi isn't doing anything yet. With a click of his tongue in annoyance, he sits up and pries your mouth open by hooking his fingers into your cheeks, pulling your mouth apart. “Fucking hurry up! She's getting distracted with you just standing there.”

That's all the encouragement Yoongi needs to pull your head down so he can sink himself inside. Your lips are straining to enclose around his shaft, the sheer girth making it almost impossible for you to breathe.

“Okay, baby, you good to continue, right?” Jungkook asks, but he doesn’t wait for your response before he resumes his punishing pace.

Since Yoongi isn’t intent on moving, you grab him by the hips as you match your boyfriend’s rhythm. You take him the best that you could, plunging him past your pillowy lips and down your throat, and you’re rewarded with a loud groan of your name.

Finally, it seems like Yoongi’s letting go of his restraints. He grabs fistfuls of your hair as he pounds your throat.

“How does my favourite fuck toy feel?” Jungkook snickers as he pushes your head onto Yoongi's dick. "Her throat is god-sent, right?"

Yoongi’s completely lost in bliss – his mouth slightly open to pant softly. “Shit – so fucking good.”

“And my baby? Feeling good?” Jungkook asks you as he bends down to kiss your shoulder.

“Mmmh!” you moan around Yoongi’s length in affirmation.

“Gonna need you to be louder, sweetheart,” Jungkook clicks his tongue.

A sharp slap resounds in the air as Jungkook slaps your clit again, and this time, you keen louder, your eyes screwing shut when he soothes the sting with his fingers. “That’s beautiful. God, I can listen to you scream all day. Keep singing for us, angel.”

Without any prior warning, Yoongi strikes you across the cheek. Not hard enough that it hurts, but it does leave you stunned momentarily. “You’re getting distracted. Just because your boyfriend is fucking you, doesn’t mean you can forget who’s controlling your breathing.”

Was this Yoongi’s true colours all along? You can’t say you’re surprised, but it is welcomed for sure. His threat shoots straight down your core, causing you to gush out spurts of liquid onto the upholstery. You tear yourself away from Yoongi’s cock to groan; the long-overdue orgasm is about to crest over you. But the older man tightens his grip on your head to bring you back, and this time, his pretty hand wraps itself around your throat, his thumb pressing on your pulse point.

“You really can’t fucking listen to simple directions, huh? Don’t think you get to cum without us, bitch.” Yoongi growls.

Jungkook chuckles. “That’s what you get for being distracted, angel.” His large hands return to your tits, pinching and twisting the nipples before he delivers a firm slap on your mounds. “Oooh, yes, tighten up more for me… fuck.”

“Mmh!” you cry. You pop Yoongi’s cock out of your mouth to give your jaw a break, your hand replacing your mouth’s movements. With your eyes firmly on his, you lean forward to lick his balls, groaning at the taste that coats your tongue. You give each of them your undivided attention, popping one in your mouth to coat them in spit, all the while bouncing on Jungkook's cock.

“Taste good?” Yoongi chuckles while patting your head. It’s an endearing motion, and you happily nod along, a drunken smile plastered on your face. “Oh, I bet you taste good too. Stick your tongue out, angel.”

You straighten up as best you can, pushing the wet muscle past your lips. Yoongi bends down to grab your face with his large hand, tipping your chin up so he has better access to your face. He clamps his lips around your tongue and sucks, a heady groan sounding in the back of his throat.

“Oi, keep shaking your ass, baby. Don’t forget who’s making you cum tonight,” Jungkook grunts. He digs his fingers into your ass to remind you, as though it’s easy for you to forget the large cock that’s spearing inside of you.

You giggle, parting from Yoongi's lips to resume jacking him off, while you turn back to face your boyfriend. “Aww, don’t tell me you’re jealous over a little kiss. You know I only love you.” You punctuate your words by clenching your walls, earning you a loud, throaty moan from the raven-haired boy.

“You say that, but you look so happy when I fuck your throat. I would argue that you just love cocks,” Yoongi sneers, maneuvering you to face him again. You open your mouth obediently when the tip of his cock taps your lips. When he sinks in, he hisses, though there’s a satisfied smirk on his face when your eyes fill with tears. “God… if only you could see yourself right now.”

You hum in satisfaction at the compliment. It’s a miracle enough to have one very attractive man fucking you… but two? You’re in euphoria; tuned into your deepest, most carnal desires. You let both men use you to their satisfaction, and it isn’t long before both their thrusts become erratic, hips stuttering as their high reaches its peak.

Sweat slicks your back as you chase after your own elusive ember. Twice now you’ve gone to the brink of bliss, only to be pulled away. If it happens again, you’re not sure you’d stay sane. With determination, you slam your hips on Jungkook’s cock, and your hand comes up to help stroke Yoongi along until both men are left panting and groaning.

“Shiiit, fuck!” Jungkook swears, tightening his grip on your hips as he matches your rhythm. He snakes his hand in between your legs, rubbing your forgotten clit to aid you along.

“Eager to be painted in cum, aren’t you?” Yoongi’s breathless – his words coming out laboured as his hips stutter. “Fuck – ah… Swallow it all, baby. I wanna see you drink me in.”

Yoongi plunges deep into your throat, holding your head with his large hand as you choke around him. You can hardly breathe with your nose pressed into his dark curls, and you squeeze your eyes shut as the world spins due to the lack of oxygen.

“Fuck –“ he manages to utter as you’re forced to swallow his seed. When he finishes emptying himself inside of you, you open your mouth wide to show him your efforts.

"Good girl," Yoongi praises, pressing his lips on the tops of your head. "Now you can focus on getting your boyfriend to cum."

As Yoongi collapses on the floor, you bring your attention to Jungkook. You clench your walls so they constrict around him – milking him until he comes undone with a loud groan, body shaking as he paints your insides in white.

“Oh my god, baby, I’m cumming. I’m gonna fuck you full of my cum—ahhh…” Jungkook grunts, driving his cock deep into your pussy.

It's the edge you need to crumble into pleasure. Your body burns white hot; stars dancing across your vision. "C-Cumming!" you yelp, and you too, shiver with pleasure, spine locking up and toes curling while the waves slam against your battered body.

“Shit – Jungkook, Jungkook… fuck… no more. No more!” you wail when your boyfriend keeps thrusting inside. You’re sweaty and sore, used past the point where you can no longer feel your legs.

You collapse back onto Jungkook’s chest, your boyfriend whispering sweet nothings into your lips as he kisses you languidly. His softening cock slips out of you, bringing with it a glob of your mixed juices that drip onto his leg, but Jungkook doesn’t seem to care, too focused on basking in the glow of an orgasm.

Yoongi’s faring no better. His legs can't seem to support his weight. So he lies sprawled on the floor, breathing hard with an arm draped over his eyes.

“I just want to say, this was not what I had in mind when I asked if I could crash at your place tonight,” Yoongi says as he huffs out a chuckle.

“To be fair,” you murmur, sitting up to grab a few tissues from the small table next to you. “Jungkook started it.”

“Yeah,” your boyfriend laughs as he wraps his arms around you. Jungkook pecks at your cheek before settling his head on your shoulder. “And you get to reap the benefits too. We did all the hard work while you sat there and looked pretty.”

You kiss Jungkook’s temple with a smile, just above his piercing. “How about next time I do all the work while you boys lie down?”

Yoongi perks up at this, sitting up to gape at you. “There’s a next time?”

Two pairs of eager eyes stare at you as you stand to stretch out the cramps from sitting too long. With a sly grin at the two of them, you wink, "Only if I get to 'just sit there and look pretty'."

moon's notes: i spent a total of 1 whole day writing this entire thing. so i'm slightly delirious right now. my inspiration? comes from the fact that i was thinking about cockwarming while watching a movie and all of a sudden yoongi came along???????? i don't know. i have no excuse to write this sordid fic full of filth, but i do hope you enjoyed reading it c:

Best Friends Brother|MYG

Description: Your best friend's older sexy brother. The older one. Smart. Intelligent. The one who advises you about life ever since you were a kid.

Warnings: age gap, reader is 20, Yoongi is 27, Soft Dom Yoongi, Mentions of insecurity indirectly, Unprotected sex, slight fingering, appreciation, nipple sucking, after shower after care, cute stuff?

-------------------------------------------------

You and your best friend Mina were now eating pizza and sharing reels to one another, meeting after a long time and having big plans.

But this is what you were actually doing.

Nothing.

But it was comfortable.

Mina's phone ringing interrupted you as you looked at her lazily picking up the phone and putting it to her ear.

Just like Yoongi, you thought.

You shook your head, it had been too long since you met him. He's probably busy with some music projects in Seoul.

Meanwhile you and Mina went to different colleges and met up like this after a long long time, fixing your schedules when free.

"Oh you're here? Sure sure, yeah", You heard her say, as you curiously eyes her. She was getting up after cutting the call.

"It's Jungkook, you know the guy who was three years our senior?", Mina said and you nodded still confused as to where this conversation was going.

"Yeah, the jock guy", You replied casually.

"Well I've been going out with him for a while, and he's outside.. I'll be back by the night?", She asked but didn't really ask as she was already putting on her socks after jeans.

"I didn't even know how long you've been dating? Is he good? Seemed like a Playboy back in the day", You asked completely not expecting that. She hasn't told you she's been dating for a while?

"Three months, will see you. I'll probably be late cover for me yeah?", She said leaving you alone in her house.

You were supposed to catch up, watch a scary movie at night, do your face mask and stuff. Just you and her.

But in these two years ever since you joined colleges you've been drifting apart, it's no secret.

She can feel it, you can too. Always inseparable during school, best of friends and all that shit just going into trash as soon as you joined.

Your personalities were really different and in the back of your mind you already saw this coming.

The bell rang making you frown, no one was supposed to be here.

Her parents have gone out for the weekend hence your plan of staying, her brother's in Seoul and she possibly can't be back so soon.

She clearly stated that she'd be back by night.

You walked to the door, your over thinking ass wondering if it's a serial killer as you opened the door.

It was quite the opposite. It was Yoongi. With a big ass suitcase. Dresses in dark blue jeans and a yellow T-shirt.

He looked handsome.

"Hi, uhm long time", You mumbled stepping aside giving him a way in.

He was also surprised to see you, hoping for his mom to answer the door.

"Yeah, how you doing?", He asked walking to his room casually as multiple questions popped inside your head.

Why is he here? Is he staying? Did something happen at work? Is he good?

He looked like he lost a lot of weight. He walked back inside probably after keeping the suitcase as you filled a glass of water for him to take.

"Thanks uh, so where's everyone else? Didn't expect you here", He asked drinking his water in one go as you leaned on the counter across him just like he was.

"Your parents are out for the weekend, and I was uhm with Mina, she uhm... She's out buying some snacks for us, I was supposed to stay in your room since Mina snores", You said as he gazed at you nodding at your words.

"Yeah, I didn't really tell anyone so..", He said shrugging at the end and you nodded taking in his words.

"Why don't we sit down?", You walked to his room because Mina's was really quite messy, not like he would mind she was his sister but you just thought it'd be better.

Less messy and probably more comfortable for him, he's back after like an year? Or even longer.

After you were settled down on his bed and him beside you leaning at the headboard you asked.

"Is it fine at your work?", You said looking at him. He was just looking up. He looked pretty, his cheeky cheeks and pretty feline eyes.

You missed this. Sitting like this and talking about life with him.

"It is yeah, although it was getting too much, felt like I wasn't getting a break. So another producer offered me to take off for like a month or two", He explained smiling slightly making you smile.

"Sounds good Yoongi, you got good colleagues", You said following his gaze and staring at the ceiling. Many star stickers pasted on the ceiling.

Back when Yoongi and Mina shared a room and Mina wanted a starry ceiling, her room was their store back then. Then she turned 8 and got her personal room.

"I do, what about you? How's it going at college?", He asked the question you dreaded. You didn't know whether to ramble to him how shitty everything is, the last was two years back.

When you were 18 and were about to start college.

But now things are different. Yoongi has always been smart but he looked even more mature, having work experience too now.

"It's fine", You said but Yoongi could tell it wasn't.

You were different. Introvert. Never opened up to anyone really. He didn't like that you weren't even telling him things like you used to. But then again he was the one who was focused on work never taking a break. Less calls. Less texts.

"Mhm, made many friends?", He asked and you looked at him to find him already looking at you.

"Not really but I'm fine", You shrugged.

"You miss Mina?", He asked.

"Of course I wish she was in my college would've made things easier but that's okay too", You said. You never said it out loud. Not to Mina because every time she talked about her college. She was always doing so good.

"Mina would've come back by now", Yoongi mumbled checking the time and you sighed.

"Look, she's with a guy. Please don't tell your parents, will be back by night", You bit your lower lip waiting for him to react and he shrugged.

"Should've told me Y/N, she's an adult now. Although she shouldn't have left you alone", Yoongi said.

He noticed the pained expression that took over your face, scrunching his face and cocking his face to the side giving you the look.

You sighed. "We've just drifted apart I guess", You let out, rubbing your forehead slightly.

"Impossible, you were so close", Yoongi retorts totally shocked and you smiled slightly.

"We have, ever since college started, she made new friends, a boyfriend, she's having her own adventures that the boring me could never suggest", You chuckled slightly hurt. You thought she'd always choose you even though you can be really constant about your life.

"You literally made her jump roofs", Yoongi exclaimed and you immediately groaned at the memory of the 14 year old you.

"Not that adventure, the smoking, clubbing types. I've never been that kind of person Yoongi, you know it and she has always been an extrovert", You explained a little frustrated.

"Then she's choosing shit if that's what she wants, what about you", He asked.

"I have been the same, not many friends and all, I just miss Mina and I miss you", You said looking at him as he sighed.

"You're really awesome, just don't think you're boring or stuff because your adventure isn't Mina's cup of tea", Yoongi explained and you smiled. Always good with his words.

"You know I'm sometimes jealous of her, because she's so good at it. At communication. Like she's forgetting about me and here I'm stuck with her memories", You chuckled at the realisation that you were saying this to Yoongi.

"Mhm and?", Yoongi asks as you bite your lip. He surely knows you to the point that he understands when you want to say more but won't because you think he'd judge you.

"And, she's good with guys. Don't get me wrong, they come back. And the guy I dated. God he made me feel horrible. Like I wasn't a good fuck, had me scarred for life I guess", You let it out and laughed afterwards masking the hurt with it.

"And you believed him? Didn't even try anyone else? Maybe he was bad at it yanno?", Yoongi argued knows you too well to know you're hurt. Knows you're an overthinker.

"I couldn't try someone else", You said a force in your words, your eyes on him, his on yours, his eyebrows furrowed.

"Why?", He asked.

"Because, I-", You leaned over placing your lips on his.

He's been talking for too long, knows you're fucked. He looks so pretty doing nothing. You just can't help when he's so close to you after so long.

Fuck the besties code that you and Mina never talked about. About not being with each other's siblings.

Your hands settled around his neck as he started moving along your lips after a while. It got hot and wet after a while as you devoured each other.

Yoongi has always liked you, you were so different and adventurous and good at talks completely opposite of what you just told him.

And when you kissed him, for a second he thought he was simply imagining it but here you were gripping on his collar as his hands sneaked around your waist.

You pulled back out of breath.

"Because every time I'm with a guy, you're on my mind. Yoongi would've listened better, replied better", You said pecking his lips in between your words as he just stared at you baffled by your actions.

"Would've touched me better", You said placing yourself on his lap.

"Shit you gotta reply to me Yoongi", You said grinding on his crotch as Yoongi took your hands pushing you back and climbed over you.

"God do you have any idea what you're doing?", Yoongi said as your heart beat fastened inside your chest at the proximity. Your actions registering in your head as you got red and red. "Never took you the one to be so reckless", Yoongi pointed out his lips finding your neck making you gasp.

"Yoongi", You whined as he started un buttoning your t-shirt trailing kisses along it making your skin burn as he reached in between your breasts.

"Was so glad when I saw you open the door", He mumbled against your skin softly making you whine.

"Yoongi, I"- You gasped when he took your nipple in his mouth. You didn't wear a bra knowing only you and Mina would be at home.

"You're so pretty baby, Mina is just stupid", Yoongi says leaning back sitting up and removing his T-shirt.

You both half naked, your cheeks red, chest heaving up and down as Yoongi traced your tummy and grabbed your boobs making you hiss.

"So sensitive here", Yoongi cooed coming down to lick your nippled and suck on them as you pulled on his locks slightly making him groan.

Giving both of your nipples a good suck he trailed his kisses down, biting and nipping on your skin making you whine out.

"So loud, all for me bet that boy didn't worship this perfect body", Yoongi said toying with your waistband.

"Yoongi please I want you to touch me", You whined out as he pulled down your trousers along with your panties.

"I am touching you", He said and you whined making him laugh at you, his gums showing.

He spread your legs for his eyes to see, his laugh fading and his eyes darken when he looked at your cunt.

"You want me so bad, don't you? Look at you baby, so fucking messy, all for me", He said his right hand leaving your leg and coming down to your pussy pushing a finger inside.

"Fuck yes, Yoongi. All for you ", You mumbled your breath catching in your throat and he pumped his finger in and out making you moan.

"I know", Yoongi murmured pulling down his jeans along with his boxers and holy fuck. You've never seen anything so big, not in porn, never in real life.

He was big and thick and perfectly long.

"Yoongi you're so beautiful", You moaned out feeling the need for him to be inside. "Please put it inside me", You said seeing slight pre cum leak out at your words.

"You have no idea what you're playing with, you want me so bad yeah?", Yoongi said pressing the head of his cock to your clit rubbing it up and down.

"I'll cry if you don't", You said out of frustration, not thinking before you spike making Yoongi grin.

"Would love to see that, will see that someday", He said pushing his full length inch by inch inside you as you opened your mouth and closed your eyes. Taking him in.

"Shit Yoongi, you're so so so big", You said out of breath and Yoongi leaned down pressing his lips to yours.

You could feel his veins rub against your pussy walls as he shifted slightly making you wince.

"So tight, so fucking tight. My fucking pussy", Yoongi rambled and gave you a long, slow but powerful thrust making you gasp.

"Yes, yes yours. God feels so heavenly", You said as he started thrusting in and out.

His dick filling you so well, reaching deeper with every thrust.

His hands holding yours above your head as he thrusted inside your pussy repeatedly and harshly.

"Yes yes yes yes Yoongi Yoongi Yoongi Yoongi Yoongi", You chanted like a mantra making him groan.

"Whoever said this is bad can fuck themselves, this is the best. Made for me. Mine", Yoongi growled sitting on his heels pulling you towards him holding your legs up as he thrusted inside you violently.

"Holy fuck, fuck, yoongi. Yoongi. Yoongi. Yoongi. Yoon- ah fuck - gi", You moaned feeling the knot in your stomach tighten.

"Fuck yes, tell everyone who's making you feel good. Who do you belong to baby? My pretty baby", Yoongi moaned his thrust getting sloppier and faster.

"You Yoongi", You cried out. "I am gonna"-

"Me too", Yoongi growled.

"Inside, Fill me, I'm on pill", You moaned feeling your orgasm wash over you and feeling overstimulated as he thrusted and thrusted until he came inside you with a groan.

Leaning his body over yours, sweat beads coating his forehead as he kissed you sweetly.

"You are so beautiful", Yoongi said, his voice deep and soft as you smiled.

"You are such a talker when you fuck", You said as he pressed his forehead to yours as you both laughed.

"You make me say things", Yoongi replied, both of you tired but had the biggest smiles on your faces.

"I love your smile, always have ever since we were kids", You mumbled taking his face in your hands and tracing your fingers over his gums.

"Ahan, is that so?", Yoongi asked and you giggled.

"Mhm, let's take a shower?", You asked making Yoongi get up as you both took a shower together. Bathing each other and talking.

"It's not a one time thing, don't overthink", Yoongi murmured drying your hair with a hair dryer.

"I know Yoongi, I'm looking forward to us", You said smiling at him wearing his t-shirt and shorts as he smiled back.

You both laying in your bed, your head on his chest, your arms up in the air as you measured your hands silently.

"You're so small", Yoongi exclaimed and you huffed.

"I'm taller than Mina", You said nuzzling your face in his neck bringing your hand down to wrap around hin.

"Never took you as the cuddly one, can live like this forever", Yoongi said making you smile.

"I know you're tired and want to sleep though, sleepy baby", You said.

"Baby? I'm like 7 years older?", Yoongi mocked and you both laughed. Glad that his age was not a matter of concern but something you were joking about and you hope it stays the same.

"okay baby", You teased, your laughs never fading as you both slept in each other's embrace.

A/N: you can lmk about my errors yk I'm like really new to this😭

His CumSlut| JJK

Warnings: Porn with no plot, dumbification, pounding hard, rough sex, spanking, slight ass play? Mentions of public bj, mentions of multiple rounds, Unprotected sex, cumming inside, lmk what I missed

-------------------------------------------------

"Couldn't behave in front of anyone could you huh?", Jungkook hissed, pounding into your pussy from behind, his thumb playing over your asshole making you moan.

"Need your cum", You moaned out, your voice weak, body limp as he bent your body to his accord.

"I know bitch but you could've waited huh instead of sucking my cock like a whore, wanted to get caught huh?", Jungkook smacked your ass making you groan, your brain failed to register his words as your body trembled.

You just felt good was all you knew, his huge cock making you see white as your eyes rolled back.

Pounding and pounding, the world was Jungkook and you were his.

"Do you even understand me baby?", Jungkook chuckled his violent thrusts unstoppable as you moaned in response not caring about what he was saying.

The knot in your stomach is getting tighter and tighter, your body aching to burst.

Burst right in front of Jungkook, show everything to him.

"Look at that pussy creaming my dick", He said and smacked your ass and that's all it took for you to cum.

Your pussy sucking him in with your clenches as Jungkook hissed. Already tired and wanting to sleep.

But Jungkook was far from over.

"You think you deserve to rest hm? My dumb baby. The night is long darling get ready", He whined filling your cunt with his seeds and setting a slow pace to ride out his high. Staying inside you until he gets hard again and then starts pounding again.

That was Jeon Jungkook for you and you were his cum slut.

Can you recommend some really BTS angsty fics that have happy endings (yknow something that'll torture my heart but I'll still be happy)

YES. we love torturing our hearts <3

backburner by @yoonpobs

sister's best friend min yoongi! x reader

sometimes you felt like you were the back-burner of a two-decade-long friendship. how could you ever compete?

2. maybe I do by @chateautae

ceo taehyung! x rich reader!

maybe you love each other, maybe you don’t. when a deal between your fathers leaves you forcefully wedding kim taehyung, arguably seoul’s most powerful CEO, you’re prepared for a loveless marriage of eternal regret and unhappiness. but maybe, it doesn’t turn out that way after all.

3. practice by @chryblossomjjk

art major jungkook! x smart reader!

what starts as a harmless little "meet up" ends up being way more complicated.

4. Rough edges by @kjhmyg

badboy jk! x reader!

This series is not ended yet, but I couldn't possibly recommend a angsty fic rec and not include this series. fingers crossed, hopefully this has a happy ending :(

5. The return of an empress by @you-are-my-joy

Empress Reader! x Advisor!Jin, Advisor!Yoongi, General!Hoseok, Advisor!Namjoon, Assassin!Jimin, Knight!Taehyung, Knight!Jungkook

After one fateful night, you find yourself transmigrated into your favorite novel as the Empress that shares the same name as you. As a bookworm, most would think you’d be happy, but how could you be happy when the Empress you’ve become is expected to be killed in three months. The only thing on your mind now is to learn how to survive.

Thanks for reading :0

Sutures - Chapter Three: Anosognosia

Genre: Soulmates AU, Idiots to Lovers, slight Enemies to Lovers

Pairing: Yoongi/Named Reader

Warnings (chapter specific): drinking, drunkenness, light smut, sex dream, implications of oral sex, obsessive behavior from an ex, unhealthy relationship dynamic (not on part of Yoongi & OC)

Synopsis: “A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.” –Jean de la Fontaine

There was only one thing you and Min Yoongi had in common that night. You were both brokenhearted. You only intended to be together for one night, but when you both end up in the hospital the next day you discover that you are soulmates. It could kill you to be apart. As you and Yoongi attempt to sever the bond between you, will another be formed?

Notes: This was originally written and completed on Wattpad between 2018 and the beginning of 2020. I’ll be slowly posting the chapters here. I may make a tag list depending on if enough people want to follow along with updates. Leave me some feedback if you would like added to a tag list.

Previous | Series Masterlist | Next

Yoongi saw the look in your eyes shift from soft curiosity to sheer panic. He felt the pit of his stomach fill with guilt. He shouldn't have slept with you; sure, the two of you would still have this problem, but no one would've had reason to find your shoes. You wouldn't have had reason to leave them behind. 

He'd felt betrayed, he'd felt lonely, he'd felt unloved by those he wanted to love him most. But, that was no excuse to sleep with the first attractive girl he found. 

"Have you told Bang PD yet?" Namjoon asked, his demeanor calm, but Yoongi could see the slight shock cross over his features, causing his thick lips to pout and his chin to jut out. 

Yoongi shook his head.

"I'll call him," Namjoon said. The leader placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder. He blocked Yoongi's view of you. He worried in those few seconds you were blocked from his view that you would collapse into Namjoon's chest and cry the tears meant for him. The tears because of him. 

Namjoon left the room, leaving Yoongi alone with you. He tried his best not to focus on the way your tank top hugged your chest and exposed the hickeys he'd left the night before and that Namjoon probably noticed it too.

"You look tired," Yoongi said. "We can't do anything until tomorrow anyway. Try and get some sleep."

You nodded and Yoongi wasn't sure if you were just trying to reassure him or yourself. He remembered the way you'd fallen asleep long before he did. The way you'd fit against his body; how it felt like two puzzle pieces joining together for the first time. He blinked away the thoughts and tried to focus back down on your eyes. 

"We'll pay them off," Yoongi said. "We'll make sure nothing comes of this."

---

Jihee (9:00 am): Are you all right?

Jihee (9:05 am): I heard you're in the hospital

Jihee (10:01 am): None of your members are texting me back

Jihee (12:31 pm): Baby, the news is reporting something about your soulmate? What happened last night?

Jihee (2:43 pm): Yoongi! Please respond to me! I'm worried

Jihee (5:12 pm): Yoongi...what I did last night...what happened was all a mistake...

Jihee (5:12 pm): I still love you

Jihee (6:00 pm): The news said you were released hours ago! Respond to me!

Jihee (8:20 pm): Yoongi, I miss you

Jihee (9:30 pm): I know I don't deserve you. But, please just tell me you're okay

Jihee (11:50 pm): Goodnight. Love you.

---

"Baby," you moaned. Your hands slipping beneath Yoongi's shirt. They were cold, but he still loved the way they moved over his stomach and chest. Your fingertips grazing over his skin, a fingernail occasionally catching and causing him to squirm.

His hands were in your hair, messing it up and causing it to form mountain ranges as his fingers hiked the peaks and valleys. He loved the way it felt between his fingers, soft and light. 

Your lips moved from his and down to his neck where your lipstick stained his skin. He kept his grip on your hair, feeling it tug slightly as you move downward. He helped you slip his shirt off as your lips connected with his chest. 

"You don't have--"

You silenced him by tugging on the waistband of his jeans and rubbing your thumb over the button, teasing him slightly. 

"I want to," you responded, unbuttoning his jeans. 

Yoongi tightened his grip on your hair, trying not to focus on the way your lipstick was smeared above your lips. He could already imagine the way they'd look...

His head lulled back and his fingers loosened. 

---

Yoongi awoke. He was covered in sweat and ran his hand through his hair. He glanced down at his phone: 6:41 am. He sighed and headed to the bathroom. 

He slapped himself softly, trying to stop the thoughts that continued to cross his mind. He didn't have feelings for you, it was simply lingering from he slept with you. Nothing else. 

He wasn't going to deny he was attracted to you, he wouldn't have gone back to your apartment otherwise, but he felt nothing romantically for you. Yoongi knew the attraction would continue and probably only get worse, but he had to fight it. The last thing he wanted to do was break either of hearts more than they already were. 

Yoongi turned on the shower, the water colder than usual.

---

You stood in Yoongi's studio where he kept his computer. You'd suppressed your laughter at the ridiculous amount of hoops you'd had to jump through in order to enter. A doorbell, black curtain, and two doors. You respected the fact he took his work seriously though. The wall full of awards and trophies he'd won, a few even separate from BTS.

There was a couch in the corner, but you were too anxious to sit. You just wanted your shoes back and whoever took them to get their money and leave you alone. You were thankful your name hadn't been released and the only other person who knew the full truth was Eunji.

"There's many of us trying," Yoongi said. "Me, Namjoon, our managers, other people at the company. One of us will get them." 

You nodded and watched as the countdown on the auction neared two minutes to the end. There weren't many bids, but the shoes were somehow already over 300,000 won ($276 USD). You'd brought your knitting needles and some yarn and mindlessly knitted.

"What are you making?" Yoongi asked, a small smile breaking out across his lips. It was tiny and barely recognizable. You weren't sure if he pitied you or if simply trying to break the tension. 

"Nothing in particular," you said. "I just need something to keep me busy." 

Normally, when you went in without a plan, it turned out as a scarf. You bit you lip as the timer hit a minute. 

Yoongi saw your gaze shift to his screen and he readied to enter his bid as close to the end as he could. He entered one million won ($920.00 USD) and hovered his finger over the enter button. 

"That's too much!" you said. 

"No one will outbid it."

"I know," you said. "But I feel bad. I shouldn't have forgotten them in the first place." 

The timer hit twenty seconds. Ten seconds. Yoongi waited just a few more seconds wanting to time it just right. 

You heard a scream and a crash and almost simultaneously an error message appeared on Yoongi's computer. Please connect to Wi-Fi.

"Shit," Yoongi said. "Jimin!"

You followed Yoongi to the living room, leaving the partially started scarf behind. You saw Jimin and Jungkook crowded around the router working to connect the cord back into it. 

"Did you trip over it again?" Yoongi asked, his voice breathy and exasperated. 

"Sorry," he said. "I'm not used to it." 

Yoongi sighed and turned back to you. His dark eyes looked down at you apologetically and he sat down on the couch, pulling out his phone. 

"I'll try and see if I can see who won." 

---

"It looks like they're going to have to come out and fix it," Namjoon said, hanging up the phone. "We won't have internet until then." 

The members groaned. 

Jungkook walked into the kitchen and brought back a case of beer, a smirk plastered on his face. 

"Let's play a game," he said. "To welcome Sumi to the dorm."

"What game?" Namjoon asked. 

"Answer or drink," he said. "On your turn, someone asks you a question and if you don't want to answer it, you have to drink." 

Everyone agreed and sat in a circle. Yoongi sat on one side of you and Hoseok on the other side. Your knee brushed Yoongi's and you felt a small pang in your chest as you pulled away.

"All right, we'll go in order of age. Jin, you're up first." 

You didn't really pay attention to the questions. You'd fall somewhere towards the end. Between Jungkook and Taehyung. 

Jin answered the question. He didn't seem like the type to be embarrassed easily, a quality you admired in the eldest. 

---

"Yoongi," Jungkook said. "Your turn."

The room stayed silent. No one had a question for the boy and he couldn't help but smirk slightly. However, Taehyung meekly raised his hand. 

"What happened with Jihee?"

Yoongi cussed to himself. He knew she had been texting the other members about him. The other members would always consult him first before telling her anything when it was obvious he wasn't talking to her. 

"She cheated," Yoongi answered simply. 

The other boys' eyes widened and they nodded. However, it wasn't their gazes Yoongi felt boring into him. It was yours. He could feel your eyes staring at his profile. 

Yoongi had been careful the night he met you. He managed not even to tell you his name. He'd only mentioned he'd recently gotten out of a relationship. He figured you didn't need to hear his sob story. Besides, he planned on keeping Jihee's betrayal a secret. Just as she wanted. The only people he could trust with the truth were his members. 

But, you deserved to know the truth. It was unfair to keep you completely at a distance, especially when he'd overheard everything about your ex.

Yoongi noticed you drinking, you'd already cracked open another can by the time it got Namjoon. He felt a twinge in his chest. Yoongi quickly suppressed it, your drinking habits were none of his business. And based on the way Eunji talked the night at the bar, it didn't sound like you drank much. Only when your heart was broken.

"Sumi," Jungkook said. "Your turn." 

Again, the room fell silent. No one knew Sumi well enough to ask her such a personal question. But, then again, everyone was tipsy, or in a few cases, already drunk. 

"How's Yoongi in bed?" 

Everyone except for Yoongi and you laughed. 

"Seriously?" Yoongi asked. 

He knew it was the alcohol that asked the question, but it was still inappropriate. He didn't want you to have to drink. Your eyes were glazed and your cheeks rosy. 

Yoongi reached over and drank for you, crumpling the can when he finished. 

"Move on," he said. "It should be your turn, right, Jungkook?"

"Wait," you said. "I didn't answer." 

Everyone turned to look at you. It was obvious you were too drunk to notice that Yoongi had technically already drank for you. 

"He's good," you answered. "Better than my ex and I hate that cause..." 

You drifted off not noticing the seven stunned faces staring at you.Your words slurred, but they hung in the room. Your eyelids drooped and your head lulled forward into your chest. 

"I think it's time for bed," Namjoon said, standing up and helping you stand. He threw an arm around you and led you down the hall towards your bedroom. 

Despite the fact that the situation was perfectly appropriate, Yoongi still felt a small pang of jealousy. He knew he shouldn't and that it was all the soulmates thing, but that didn't stop his fists from clenching. 

"She probably won't remember this in the morning," Yoongi said. "Don't remind her."

Yoongi swallowed the rest of his drink and left the room on the pretenses of being sleepy--which he was--but he also didn't want anyone to see the blush come to his cheeks. 

---

You awoke the next morning with the worst headache you'd ever had. You clutched your forehead and glanced at the time: 10:30 am. You sighed. 

You spotted your knitting things from yesterday placed on top of the dresser. You didn't remember fetching them from Yoongi's studio, but then again, you barely remembered anything after Jimin knocked the Wi-fi out. 

"All I drank was beer," you muttered to yourself. 

You weren't known for being a lightweight causing you to wonder just how much you'd drank the night before.

As you squirmed you felt something soft move in the crook of your arm. You looked down and saw Kitty. You smiled at the stuffed cat and her droopy eye. 

THE YOONGI ONESHOT IM WORKING ON IS GONNA BE DONE BY LIKE NEW YEARS PROBABLY LMAOOOO wish me luck yalls

𝓡𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻 × 𝓜𝓲𝓷 𝓨𝓸𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓲 (drabble)

✪Anon request: "Impreg kink with Yoongi?"

´`✻.¸¸ღ

"Faster!" He groaned, throwing his head back into the white pillows. His eyes rolled back in pleasure, when, with dexterity you have never showed him before, you began to roll your hips into his, causing his cock to bury deeper between your walls, into your sweetness.

"Y-Yoongi!" You moaned, your walls offering his cock a hard squeeze, making him almost see stars. Damn, you were so tight wrapped around him like that. He could swear he has never seen anyone more stunning that you. Just like that, on top of him, your shirt- which was actually a stolen one of his, was teared appart, the buttons of it resting on the floor and in the bedsheets, your beautiful breasts peerking out from under your red bralette, bouncing slightly with every meet of his hips against yours.

Yoongi licked his lips, staring at your fucked up expression. He loved seeing your mouth slightly opened, letting so many sinful sounds out of it, pure music to his ears. Licking both his index finger and thumb, he started to rub one of your already erected nipple between them, making your body jolt in pleasure.

"What happened, little one? You just love it when your master is playing with your cute precious nipples?"

Oh, how you loved it when he was talking dirty to you, your body reacting immediately to his filthy words, walls clenching harder, once more. "Fuck, princess, you're gonna make me cum so fast like that."

You whimpered at the thought of his cum finally filling you up to the brim, rolling your hips harder into him. He smirked, arching a perfect eyebrow and burring his fist into you hair, only to press you flat on his hard chest.

"My little kitten wants her master to give her his babies?" He groaned, the smirk spreading on his lips the more you whimpered, thinking of his words. "Y-yes, m-master. P-please..." He pulled on your hair more, yanking your head back, to stare into his eyes.

"What do you want, little one? Want me to milk your walls? To make you my little precious whore? Want master to give you all of his seed until your precious belly is filled up by it?" He started to take control, pressing his huge palm down your lower back, to keep you flat on him.

"M-master...!" You whined loud, when he started to thrust up, into your cunt, with long and hard moves, abusing your sweet spot and sending you over the edge.

"S-shit! Take it all!" He groaned, kissing you hard and leaving you breathless, while his cock spilled his cum into you, accompanied by deeper thrusts, feeling the tip of his cock kissing your cervix, fucking his cum into you.

He slowly pulled back, only after you came back to your senses, pressing you on your back. You stared at him, frowning when you saw him not staring back at you but between your thighs, so you decided to see whatever was that interesting.

Your cheeks turned red, seeing his cum slowly dripping out of your cunt. Yoongi frowned more, collecting the drops and pushing them back in with his finger, not wanting to miss one.

"Be a good girl and keep my cum inside of you, princess. It is all yours now."

SMOKE, iv. | myg

pairing: idol!yoongi x smoke!oc (ft. jungkook)

genre: angst, heart-wrenching fluff

word count: 6.5k

summary: everything that hurts must begin to stop at one point. 

pinterest board: smoke / taglist: join / discord: join

warnings: DOMESTIC ABUSE, oc gets triggered a lot in this chapter, dissociation, anxiety, alcohol consumption, a brief mention of physical violence, religion, praying, jk and oc smoke together.

note: hi, my babies. i'm here with another chapter. i really like this chapter a lot and i like where it's heading, so i hope you like it as much as you do. let me know what yout think. sorry, this is a bit short, but i didn't want to drag it out, esp. if everything that needed to get settled did. i love you all soso much, mwah.

When Jungkook appears, uncanvassed, damp and abysmal, in the field of my swimming vision, I have to stop dead in my tracks to see if my inebriated brain isn’t playing tricks on me. 

He’s sat on the half-wet stone of the staircase leading up to the street where I live. My apartment complex is just straight up, a minute away from where he’s waiting for me, and the wheels within my brain cells begin to whirr and turn, reminding me that I tapped on the crescent moon icon on my phone before I absconded to my girl best friend for a heart-to-heart conversation and a new set of nails. Misty-eyed, I recounted to her the monochrome poetry lines that bloomed through last night between me and Yoongi and wilted in my bare, sleep-cloaked hands this morning while she filed down the freshly baked acrylic powder. The moment she heard the deadly words that were spat at me, she flung her rosy, tiger-print file across her station, got up to her feet without a word and came back with a bottle of my favorite pink nectar in even pinker, fancy glass, certainly not meant for wine. 

And I downed each and every refill in one, singular gulp everytime she moved onto the next step and my hand was free. 

And Miyun… as much as she erupted in her idiosyncratic rage, her work on my nails was immaculate and untouched by her vivid lava. Curses and funny remarks, that yanked the weight off my shoulders and wiped it out using her vigor and red-hot magma, shattered the room until I laughed so hard that the alcohol dipped into my system far quicker than usual. She glued on the crosses I had asked for while I chortled, and she shushed me, breaking into a soft, non-obvious laughter that she tried to keep at bay while her hair fanned around her. Cherry-red, long and lustrous, curling on the smooth skin of her arms. The laughter died down and silence replaced it as she laid down the last layer of top coat over her artwork—and I felt a certain inspiration seize me. 

“What if I dyed my hair red, too?” I voiced it out, a seawave of different kinds of co-existing emotions ebbing and flowing in me. Airiness and offense, care and distance. And they were all roped around the memory of Yoongi in me like the roots of flowers in a colorful meadow soil. Vast and expansive, yet delicate and frail. One sweep of the wind’s harsh breath and they tilt—and remain tilted. 

I do, too, despite my efforts. 

Despite my ingrained fight to straighten and my strivings to be unaffected, unagitated and undisturbed by the way I was disrespected by Yoongi. They were all fruitless, however. Barren of my long-exercised resilience against the violence of men, my wariness and vigilance of them only strengthening. 

He took me to the far north side of paradise with his tongue and fingers in the middle of the night. And when the sun rose, he treated me like I dragged him to the deepest of hell and left him there to perish of starvation and thirst.

I should have seen it coming and prepared myself for it, especially when I had decided in my heart to take care of him, take care of the deep-sunk, nameless agony in him that prevented him from coloring our stanzas. But alas… it came to face me too soon, in my gossamer defenselessness.

Yoongi metamorphosed into the vermin that Ji-hoon was. His face faded on top of his while my ex-boyfriend’s body remained intact, broad and fear-instilling. And when Yoongi stood up so quickly, I sailed back, against my will, to the sheer realm of brutality that I had dwelled in, years ago. Yoongi with Ji-hoon’s body, abandoning me after I got myself into trouble. For wearing too much make-up, for having long manicured nails, for dressing a certain way that was impertinent in our relationship. He would leave a bruise for every mistake I made to discipline me, to ascertain that I would learn from it and never do it again. And I did learn after I was depleted of color-correcting concealers, the sinews I would use to raise my hands and tap the cream product in, erasing my foolish mistakes from the eyes of Jungkook, Minyun and my parents. 

I fought for too long during the relationship. For my freedom, for my dignity. And I fought for too long after the relationship to go through it all over again. 

I dreaded being hit when Yoongi stood up from my couch. Flinched when he went around the coffee table past me because I anticipated the swing of his arm with my eyes boring holes into my carpet. I had flexed my muscles to brace myself against the incoming physical pain so hard that I nearly gasped, pathetically, for air when he walked on into the corridor. 

But I still couldn’t look at him. 

Although I knew, rationally, that Ji-hoon wasn’t present, I didn’t let up until he shut the door behind me with a soft click because my body didn’t connect to my clear-headedness. It was caught in a fight or flight response like an ensnared bird. 

And this must’ve been what Minyun was seeing when she contemplated me, paused in the middle of dusting her station clean with her pale-pink kabuki brush. Because she resumed right after once I reciprocated her gaze and curled her lips under her teeth. 

“We can go to Olive Young then, and stop by 7-Eleven after to get some snacks and drinks.” 

She reflected on my wound and didn’t hesitate to cradle my head and bring me to a safe refuge. 

And I didn’t hesitate to wrap my arms around her and hug her until all those oxymoronic emotions, which I felt towards Yoongi, dulled in the smallness of me. 

I let her take the lead. Choose the vibrant, deep cherry tint that would annul my trigger and dye me anew. I sipped on my iced cherry drink for the occasion while she glided the brush along my strands, splattering most of the orange paste on the thick wisp of the symbol of my connection with Jungkook, the only man in my life who never used his manliness against me. I thought about him as she rubbed it in; and I thought about Grookey. Thought about how, in that very moment, I was saying goodbye to the self I possessed while being attached to them. 

And when Minyun washed my hair and curled her round brush through it, the stark contrast to who I was before overwhelmed me so much that I began to weep. 

I couldn’t recognize myself, I didn’t know who that girl in the mirror was. But something told me that she was stronger than who I used to be. And while it felt petrifying to be standing alone in the crook of my past self and my current self, the longer I gaped at myself, the more I adapted to the assurance that she was emanating. 

She wasn’t going to take any shit from any man ever again. Certainly not with darkly, sequoia-kissed hair like that.

Minyun brushed her thumbs under my eyes and shifted me deeper into the refuge by grabbing my shoulders and guiding me to her balcony, where she sat me down on her chair while she crouched in front of me. Sliding a tiny cigarette into her IQOS and taking a puff, she leaned over to the square table and grabbed her pack, nudging a longer, classic cigarette between my chapped lips. 

I never smoked on my own. I would take hits from her slender, pink case of flavored air or steal her cigarettes when I had enough buzz from the alcohol in my veins. Forget about it the following days and weeks that we wouldn’t see each other because I was such a hermit. But I didn’t want to be one anymore—I wanted to spend more time with her from now on. With Jungkook, too. 

“You look so pretty with your new hair,” Minyun said, sweetly, leaning back on her sock-clad heels in her Louis Vuitton slides, wrapping her arm around her knees like I did around my chest last night, and I inhaled her compliment along with the drag of her cigarette. “We’re twins now.” 

I had become such a fragile egg shell that her words multiplied in me as they settled in my lungs, bursting and imbuing me with pigments of confidence. And I beamed through my tears, a light protruding through clouds, as I exhaled the smoke. 

It felt as natural as breathing—to claim her cigarettes and make them a thing of my own. 

In place of Grookey. 

It’s what Jungkook spots first, instead of my hair, once he senses my presence and lifts his head, standing up to his feet, towering over me. And he must’ve been waiting for a long time because his scolding words are flung out first before anything else.

“Where have you been? Do you know how scared I was? I called you up. I rang your doorbell and you wouldn’t answer. All day.” 

I take a long drag just to stabilize myself, gratitude unfolding in my sternum for the way he isn’t manly. 

He’s merely caring. 

Hovering above me, moving his arms in my proximity, features stern in his soft manner, and yet I’m not threatened by my fear because I know him, because I trust him. Trust that everything about him is securely soft and boy-like, round and endearing—even when he raises his voice a little at me. 

Minjun and I took another bottle of rosé to her balcony that we finished by passing it to each other and smoking like there was no tomorrow, so the liters of the nectar that flit in my bloodstream elevate how I see him and my body is naturally inclined to do something I normally wouldn’t do. 

And much to Jungkook’s surprise and a little bit to his dismay, I listen to that hushed tone of my heart and obey it—discovering that it is an aid and nothing else. 

“Since when do you—” 

I silence his stupid, yet valid question by wrapping my arms around his neck, careful not to nip his skin with the hot prickle of the cigarette. Its orange tip envelops us in a soft glow in the middle of the darkening evening, the smoke surrounding us like a protection ring. It takes three beats of my heart—which in reality must be his and surely not mine considering the numbness that has descended, fully, in me—for his arms to move and swathe me in complete safety. 

He’s rescuing me, like Minyun did. Bouncing off of her and finishing the job, without knowing a thing about it. 

We become one, singular form of a penumbra, dressed as we are in this unlit shade. Jungkook with his cargos and baggy sweatshirt; me with my tracksuit that’s too big for me. His neck is cold and I scatter a little bit of my warmth upon that skin, regretful that he waited for me this long because of my foolish forgetfulness. 

My dearest boy best friend. 

I squeeze him harder and Jungkook buries his nose in my shoulder, fisting the fabric of my hoodie on my back. 

And then, he sniffs my hair. Makes a Korean sound of discovery and surprise. Pulls back just to look at me with narrowed, inspecting eyes. Drags me to the nearest street lamp—and I watch his eyelids grow to their original, bulbous size. 

Roundie. 

He has noticed my hair, at last. 

Fluffs it and completely destroys the impeccable blowout that Minyun gave me. 

“What the fuck, Jungkook?” I grumble, pushing his hand away, but, like my hoodie, he fists both of my wrists in one hand and sinks the other one into my length, following the diligent curve that Minyun created. 

I huff, and the sound is deadened by the devastating words he utters, disappearing into the prickling coldness of the air. 

“What did he say to you that made you do this?”

I dwell in silence, my numbed emotions leaden, dented and yet sharp enough that I feel their resurfacing pain. 

I look away, untangling my wrists from his hold. Jungkook unclenches his fist, but the ash from my cigarette lands on the back of his hand. I gasp, quick to brush it away, however he’s quicker. Doesn’t make a sound in response. Shakes his hand and steals my cigarette, puffing on it. 

My mouth parts. Shock strangles me. 

He smokes? 

Jungkook’s seriousness droops as he chuckles, dryly, at my reaction. He takes a step back, slides a hand in the pocket of his pants, coalesces into the shadows of the early blooming night. 

“I didn’t know you smoked either,” he says, smiling in that lopsided way of his, a large dent in his cheek. And it feels as though I’m getting to know my best friend for the first time. What else is he hiding? What does he do, in utmost normalcy, when he’s not with me? 

He dips his chin to look at the cigarette before he flicks his thumb across its ivory butt. The ashy particles fly to the rocky ground in tandem with his smile. And his mind travels back to this morning’s misfortune, as rapid as a rocket shooting up beyond the clouds. 

“I’m not giving this to you until you tell me what he said. The last time you did something to your hair like this was when you left that good-for-nothing son of a bitch.” 

A fleck of memory appears before my eyes. Me dousing my hair in black dye with my own hands while Jungkook stood by; him putting my star clips in my no longer virgin strands to distract my tears, me sliding the same ones into his, making a middle part and laughing until my stomach hurt. He had healed me by just being with me, not expecting words, not expecting any explanations. 

Him asking me for them has a great meaning, a certain hastiness that I know full well has a stabbing pain, and I feel his fear, instead of mine. Understand, all of a sudden, why he waited for so long.

And I put him first, just so that emotion unclenches its fist from him. Nod my head to let him know that I’ll tell him, bare my heart for him. 

I walk backwards and sit down on the stony stairs. Jungkook joins me, right beside me. Takes a long drag of the cigarette as if to prepare himself for what I’m about to share with him—and I need the same smoky courage. I take it from him, puff on it and give it back to him. He gives me a gentle smile and I recognize the reason behind it.

A new form of bonding settles between us. 

I reciprocate the smile and gather my words in the brief silence. The wind helps me as it breezes through my hair, fondles my face ever so gently and when I lift my chin at its attention, my eyes stumble across the full moon. 

I breathe in its pristine energy. Let my lungs be full of its beams—and let it cleanse me, thoroughly. 

Jungkook’s patience helps me, too, as he quietly finishes the cigarette, stubbing it out on the step. Ready to listen. 

And so I begin. 

“I invited him upstairs because I wanted to,” I start and realize that I have to come forth with the truth. Deem that he deserves to know. I look inward, quickly, and try to detect any obstacles in me—but I find myself empty, cleansed, a dried fountain with no drops of water, yet I am free. With the alcohol still trickling in my bloodstream. “I didn’t feel sick. That was a lie.” I flick my eyes to his reaction, catch him widening his eyes and parting his mouth and I decide it’s time for another cigarette. I pull one for him and myself, lighting it up for the both of us. “I didn’t want you to know that I got triggered. I’m sorry for that.” 

Jungkook blows the smoke in the other direction, away from my face. He furrows his brows in pity as he leans his elbows on his outstretched knees. 

I expect him to yell at me… but he does the exact opposite, soothing me down to the marrow of my bone. 

“Triggered? How?” he asks, his voice so muted that I barely hear it, lips pursed in that eternal pout of his and mine mirror it, naturally. I appreciate his gentleness so much that I lean the side of my head against his shoulder. And he leans his against the top of mine. 

“I guess I wanted to be alone when I left the room and I found Hobi at the end of the hall. I sat with him for a little while and when he started talking, I realized he was drunk and my body gave up on me. I dissociated like I used to after the breakup. I thought I was better, that I healed from it, but it’s been a long since I was in the company of men, you know? I didn’t want to disappoint you, especially when I’d promised you that it wasn’t happening to me anymore.” 

I hear him take a strong puff and I reflect him, doing the same. Then, he sighs and extends his legs, his back rounding forward. I watch the smoke make patterns in the night-tinged air and I breathe differently, now that I’ve pulled the skeleton out of the closet. And even though my emotions are numb, my softness deepens when Jungkook takes the bony creature into his arms and begins to dance with it. 

“You could never disappoint me,” he whispers, his words the music for the dance, and I wrap my fingers around his clothed forearm, just holding him there, needing it. “You should’ve told me. Did you think I would tell you off for it? Of course not, you silly goose.” 

I chortle, and the smoke comes out in staccatos that are guided by my tender laughter. And he melts it with his following words. 

“How can I help you? Should I get you a therapist? I don’t want you to take meds for it…” he trails off, clicking his tongue and fishing out his phone from his pocket. His fingers move on the keyboard of his screen and the letters I read fracture my heart and glue it back together all the same. “Grounding techniques. Breathing slowly while counting. Different sounds, walking barefoot, blanket, ice cube or cold water—”

My mouth opens before my brain registers what my weakened heart longs to say. 

“Yoongi splashed cold water on my face and neck and that brought me back,” I spew out, tiny tears lining my vision at the memory, at the feel of his cold, solid hands, at the sight of his wide, fearful eyes that relaxed when he realized that I was back in the present times. “He saved me.” 

I blink them away; I smoke them away. 

Jungkook sucks in a breath, clicking on an article about dissociation and scrolling down. “Yoongi and I will be your therapists, then. For free.” 

I look away and withdraw from him, twiddling with my fingers. My heart enlarges, yearns for it—yearns to create a link to his beyond the physical bound we have, reach out for him like a child for its father, but my fear of being triggered again, of being afflicted by his pain slaps its arms away from him. 

It’s not meant to be—Yoongi is not the one for me because if he were, there wouldn’t be any barrier between us. And with that knowledge, my obsession with him, slowly and painfully, dissipates, leaving my frailty and my willingness to help him, if he’d ever need me, in the hands of God. 

But knowing the faces of manliness and ego, Yoongi won’t allow himself to be helped by me. And that bruises me more than the words he flung at me.  

Jungkook senses my absence more vividly than I want him to, and his head swivels in my direction, the article momentarily forgotten. 

“What’s wrong?” he asks, prodding me, and it’s me who sighs this time. 

I take the last drag and gaze at the moon as I speak. “Yoongi can’t help me when he needs help himself.” 

The yellowish face of the bulbous planet nods at me and I feel, ever so slightly, at ease, leaning my elbows back on the steps. That is until a lump forms in my throat and, inertly, I ask the feminine luna for her strength, for her resilience, and I ask her to help me become my new self that resembles her so much. 

Jungkook locks his phone and stares at me. “What happened this morning?” 

And perhaps she does nurture me with what I need through her radiance after all because I don’t hesitate to tell him. 

“I wore lingerie to bed that was see-through and when I looked for him and found him crying on my couch, he told me, ‘can you, please, put something fucking on?’ and left,” I unravel, violently, mimicking Yoongi’s coarse morning voice, and Jungkook scoffs, averting his gaze. He sucks hard on the last of his cigarette before throwing it away with the same nerve, shaking his head as he thinks about those poisonous words. Validates me, like Minyun did. 

It takes several heartbeats and several more moonbeams puncturing my sternum before he turns back to me. 

“Check your phone.” 

A wrinkle between my brows. “Why?” 

“Just do it.” 

Without understanding why he wants me to do that, I comply. I pull out my phone from my purse, the light from the screen bathing me in stark blue. Jungkook chews on his bottom lip as he watches me read my notifications from him, Minyun and Netflix. And when I say nothing, he tilts his head and reads them on his own, only to groan and place it in his hands. 

Then, he stares off into the distance. 

“What?”

He takes my hand and drags me to my feet. “Come on.” 

I yelp and Jungkook yanks me to the patch of grass by the street lamp, kneeling by the gravel. And I can’t speak as he builds a praying altar of rocks, leaves and sticks. I can’t speak when he holds it in place and makes sure it doesn’t collapse, as small and sturdy as it is. And I can’t speak when he adorns it with an abandoned, pink flower petal that he finds nearby. Places it on the top of the last stone, against the flesh of the damp, green leaf that is propped by a petite rock. 

And in my silence, once he’s done, he tugs my hand down, sinking me to my knees. Sits back on his folded legs and presses his palms together. 

“God, I know that you know I don’t believe in you. My dad probably talks to you a lot about me, so I’m sure you know who I am. I don’t come to you because of me, though. I come to you right now because my friends need you,” Jungkook prays, his voice mellow and subdued, meant for my ears and the ears of God that I myself believe in, but don’t have a relationship with. I settle down into my respect for his bravery and kindness, closing my eyes, and I feel him enveloping his fingers around mine on my lap. My heart thumps and my other hand finds the way to it—I pin my palm to the left side of my chest, cradling those full-blooded strikes, willing the corners of my mouth not to quiver. “My dad says you know everything and right now I really hope that you know what Yoongi went through. I ask you, sincerely, to give him strength to be a better person. To make sure his feet don’t walk backwards but forward with the girl beside me. I also ask you to help her to not dissociate anymore, help her not remember that son of a bitch, sorry—that guy that broke her. And altogether, I ask you to heal them both. Also, make sure Yoongi mans up a little and texts her like I wanted. Or just do something, anything. Give him ideas. Make his balls grow or whatever. Thank you. Sorry for all I did. Amen.” 

The tears fall and I can’t halt them, nor do I want to. Lightness floods my chest, my mind, spreads all over my bones, and I breathe out in hiccups. I agree with his prayer by whispering the same ending word and when I glance at Jungkook, I see him meditating, privately, on something on his own. 

It inspires me, comforts me and impassions me to do the same. 

I flutter my eyes closed and quieten my breathing. 

Dear God, if I was wrong and this is for me, allow me to take care of Yoongi. Help us find a way towards each other and cleanse my heart from all the pain. 

And then the words spill, my prayer prolonging, and I discern that they don’t root from me, bathed in the glimmer of the moon as they are. 

I forgive him and I’m giving him another chance. Give us the opportunity to better our actions and communicate our pains. Give us the strength to do so. Give us the words. Give us peace of mind and clarity. Thank you. Amen. 

My tears have dried by the time I’m finished with my internal prayer. Jungkook has patiently waited the whole time, holding my hand, and he gives me the lovingest, most wholesome smile I’ve ever received in my life when I face him. He kisses my knuckles and I feel, strongly, that it seals our prayers. 

Helping me stand, it’s him who hugs me this time around. I bury my face in his chest, fisting the back of his sweatshirt like he did to me when I arrived. We remain like this, underneath the lenitive moonlight and the merciful eye of God that I sense upon us. And I know, in the abyss of my weakened heart, that I shall never forget about this moment. 

“Did you also feel that lightness in your chest?” Jungkook asks onto my hair, and I nod, too lost in my brimming, alive emotions—no longer numb, but erupting in tender colors—to answer. Love, thankfulness, delicate joy and that persisting lightness. 

Grabbing my shoulders, he breaks the hug and grins down at me. He glows underneath that street lamp, a pure whiteness lining his form, the tiny twinkling freckles of stars scattering upon his skin and I love him. 

I love my best friend. 

And the more I look at him, the more I’m reminded of the way I put the star clips in his hair and I think it would only be right if he were to wear them right now. 

I link my arm around his. 

“Let’s go inside.” 

The moonlight shone upon our way, ascertaining that we didn’t stumble. Reached a standstill and formed a ring around us when we stopped by the door to my apartment building and had another cigarette together, this time another shared one because I felt as though I had inhaled too much smoke throughout the day. 

The stars poked at my back in our silence, encouraging me to break it, and I did—once it was my turn to puff. I thanked him, earnestly, for the prayer, showed him my nails embellished with little silver crosses, ones he gaped at with utmost fascination before it all spurred something in him enough for him to share with me what went down earlier in the morning after Yoongi left my apartment. 

Crestfallen Yoongi, drenched from the rain, murky, cloud-bearing; the very one I know. Jungkook had to, essentially, extricate him from the force of his innermost downpour, and I waded through the torrent with each information he provided me. 

He was profoundly regretful and made a fool out of himself by choking at the sound of my name—something that made my cheeks ignite with coy flattery and my fingertips to tingle. The knowledge that he rued his actions wove through my prayer and quelled me, my heart and my mind, until there was no ounce of ache that bothered me. 

I entered a state of sobriety, plopping down onto my couch with a small basket of hair ties and clips. Jungkook wasn’t really cognizant of what I was doing as he focused on telling the story, describing, in his teasing manner, the way Yoongi looked like while he spoke of me. The way his cheeks flushed and light burst in his eyes. He was so preoccupied with the task that he didn’t flinch when I brushed his hair with my Kuromi tangle teezer, nor when I put up his hair in two pigtail buns and secured them with matching, violet Kuromi hair ties. 

His hair felt brittle in my fingers from all the bleach the stylist used on his hair. Briefly, I remembered the way he specifically asked her if there was a drugstore alternative to the professional dye and he went to buy it for me that very day and we splattered it on together, with him choosing the strand, of course. I made a mental note to talk about his hair with him later. 

I grew hot when he shifted to the part, where he read to him the message I sent for him. I had cleaned the whole apartment in effort to rid myself of the residue of my trigger, but my care for him remained because I understood where he came from. What I hadn’t known was that after listening to my heart and typing out the message, I would get tormented by my mind so viciously that I had to seek my girl best friend. My care for him sank to the bottom of me and the offense I felt resurfaced, swallowing me whole. 

To know, in the present time, that Yoongi thought it too good to be true, grew smaller when Jungkook began to tell him off, washes it all out and I am a brand new canvas. 

I take off my hoodie, aflame. 

“He really thought about what I said to him and he even put your number in his phone. I visibly saw him opening a new text message and typing something,” Jungkook says, exasperated, and I have to chuckle to myself—he looks so damn adorable with the two minty buns, but he’s still missing those clips. I search for them in my basket, reveling in that fire of his, which his words are permeated with, the heat stifling me. “I thought he sent it to you. I didn’t see him do it because I got a call from Namjoon, asking where we were. We had a meeting right after—and that’s also something I need to talk to you about.” 

My ears perk up and I freeze with the clips in my hands. 

The smile Jungkook gives me this time is cheerless. 

The sweat that coats me morphs into a layer of iciness. 

“We’re going on tour abroad next month,” he imparts and my heart closes. I disintegrate, the clips falling out of my hands. And the stars blanketing the heavens outside must do the same, plummeting to the ground, conjointly, with me. “We were supposed to have another concert tonight, a secret one that would be made into a docuseries, but then America fucking called.” 

That means no hanging out with Jungkook, no star clips; no seeing Yoongi and leaving things as they are—unfinished and still aching on his part. 

And that leaves me alone with my thoughts. 

I pout, my heart dead silent. 

“When will you be back?” 

Jungkook gathers the fallen clips and sets them down upon my open, vulnerable palms. Manages to warm them up in that brief exchange. 

“There aren’t many tour dates. I’ll be back before—”

My phone pings in the kitchen. 

And before I can breathe, Jungkook scurries to his feet and flees. 

Grabs my phone and holds it in front of my face, so the detector can unlock what the notification hides. And once it does and his eyes sweep over the lettering multiple times, he squeals. Springs. Beams like the warmest star he is, personified firelight. And I’m more happy that he’s happy than I’m happy about the fact Yoongi has done something. 

For me. 

Jungkook slides the phone into my clammy hand and I let out a little breath. Instagram has notified me that a certain person that goes by the name agustd liked my post. I smirk, cupping my face, while I click on the notification to see what exactly he liked. Jungkook sits beside me and looks over, laughing, vehemently, through his nose before he starts clapping. 

My stomach jumps, stirring my butterflies awake. 

I’m wearing a knitted set in the picture, nearly pellucid with how stretched out and purposefully ripped the fabric is, and I’m sat on my vanity table in my room with my arched back facing the mirror, my long black hair obscuring most of the sheerness of my spine. 

Is that a truce? Liking a picture where I’m wearing something so akin to the slip that broke us this morning? If he did, then that’s an intelligent move in the chessboard of all toxicity. 

And I like it. 

I blush, profusely. But then another notification rings through my living room and Jungkook stills beside me. We share a look, both of our mouths parted, before he steals my phone, though I slap his back and retrieve it from his grasp, the shifting causing the message to get opened. 

I run a hand down my face. “You clicked on it and now he can see I’ve read it, Jungkook.” 

He merely laughs. “So what? Read it.” 

I groan, tipping my chin, focusing my gaze on the letters, and my heart thrashes in my ribcage. And their meaning propels it to fly on the wings of my butterflies. 

The letters tremble in tandem with my hand as I read them. 

“I’m sorry for my behavior this morning, you didn’t deserve that. I hope you allow me to make it up to you as best as I can. Car drive tomorrow at 8 PM? Food’s on me, you just bring your playlist, moon kitty. And your sneakers. Yoongi. Jungkook gave me your number.” 

My heart stops mid-flight. And I don’t see Jungkook’s eyes abounding in the glow of the stars. Neither do I hear his laughter and his praises for Yoongi because I walk backwards into myself. 

Bring your sneakers. 

I see myself getting hit for wearing heels. I don’t feel the pain, but I have a glimpse of the bruise forming on my cheek, a patch of red and purple staining me for weeks only because I wanted to feel pretty and feminine on our date night. And before Jungkook’s voice can get to me, the echo of Ji-hoon’s command fans out in me. 

You won’t dress like a slut when you’re with me. Take them off. That dress, too. And wear your sneakers. 

I was forced to wear jeans and Nike’s to a fancy restaurant while he sported nice pants and a polo. And much to his dismay, and later to mine as well, I still received stares and smiles. From men and women alike. 

The memory splinters at the sound of Jungkook’s voice. And I perceive that it’s just that. 

A memory. 

I didn’t dissociate. 

And vulnerability clutches me so tightly that I shrivel and don’t think before I fold myself into Jungkook, hugging him until the memory completely evaporates. 

Jungkook pets my head as I bury it deeper into his chest. “What’s wrong?” 

“Just a memory,” I heave, blinking rapidly, and Jungkook holds me to him, sifting his fingers through my hair. 

“Are you okay?” he murmurs, continuing with the movement that intersperses mollification all over my being, and I nod. 

As long as I have my best friend, I will be okay. 

“It happened this morning, too,” I admit, unafraid, and Jungkook stills for a moment. “When Yoongi got up from this couch, I thought I was gonna get hit again. And now when I read that he wants me to wear sneakers, I remembered the way Ji-hoon hit me because I wore heels that one time. But it wasn’t so bad. I didn’t dissociate. Your prayer helped.” 

Jungkook curls around me and holds me tighter, putting me back together, and I let him. 

I let him because there’s nothing else for me to do. 

There’s no one else for me. 

“He’s not here anymore. He’s not in your life. I broke his leg, remember? He can’t walk back into your life.” 

It’s the only memory, where he’s present, that brings me pleasure: Jungkook finding out I was a victim of domestic abuse and chasing him all over the city until he yanked him by the back of his shirt and beat him until he was unrecognizable. He broke his leg by purposefully driving over it with his motorcycle upon leaving, considering the deed done. 

“Every time your bad memories come back to haunt you, remember this one,” Jungkook advises and I pleat his words, stuffing them somewhere inside my sternum, where I can return to them and remember them like he said. Use them as a weapon.

Something tells me that now I shall need it more than I ever have before.

“Yoongi isn’t like him, I promise,” he continues, seeping his boyish warmth into my skin as he cups my face and makes me look at him. I feel as though I have run a marathon with the way I breathe spasmodically and Jungkook sees me, composes me by leading me to take deep breaths that subdue my nerves. “I regretted letting him take you home but for a far different reason. Underneath all that pain is a good person. A romantic that has lost his hope, but if there’s anything I can depend on, it’s the fact that Yoongi will find what he’s lost. And he’s halfway there. If he wasn’t, he wouldn’t have texted you.” 

I ponder his words, my heart collecting all those stars that have plummeted from the heavens, and, internally, I use their light to help me comprehend the deeper meaning behind his words. A romantic that has lost his hope. I wonder what meadow of agony he walked through—and I wonder how much it would devastate me if I ever were permitted to place my bare feet upon his footprints on that flowery soil. 

“You can trust him because I trust him.”

I slide the star clips beneath the space buns I twisted his hair in and I nod. 

“Let’s text him back.” 

𓂃 ౨ৎ LOVE-KISSED BABIES: @tkslovechild, @jjk7k, @parkinglot-nights, @bethvar, @Sexytholland, @yoongibaybee, @crystaleah,@fennecnco, @lil-kpopstan, @euphoricmyth, @jungkoock, @cinmmongirl, @hobiberrystuff, @kam9404, @fr0ggieth1nk.

© 2024 hoseoksluna, all rights reserved.

BACK to masterlist | READ third part

SMOKE, v. | myg

pairing: idol!yoongi x smoke!oc (ft. jungkook & taehyung)

genre: smut, fluff

word count: 8.2k

summary: everything that hurt has stopped.  

pinterest board: smoke / playlist: moon kitty's playlist / taglist: join / discord: join

warnings: yoongi is perfect, mutual masturbation, lots of lustful thoughts of sex and oral, yoongi's pov—literally the biggest warning, sex toys, desperation, praise kink, neediness, mentions of punishment & an actual punishment, too.

note: this might be the best chapter in the series and unfortunately, it's the last chapter i post before my hiatus. thanks to my bestest friend in the world, @tkslovechild, this series is finally moving forward somewhere and it's not a source of my depression anymore. i hope you all enjoy this chapter, my babies. see you after my hiatus. i will miss you all, terribly. luna loves you forever.

side note: make sure to listen to oc's playlist. it's so good.

The lights must be blaring, in the bizarre simplicity of our current happenstance, and the toys for adults must be tinged with a variety of colors, but my eyes are moored on the prismatic delicacy of her utter engrossment. 

Pupils wide and swallowing each detail of the display of the instruments of pleasure, my cock is so tight in my pants that I struggle for air, my fists clenched by my sides, ever so ready to snatch the product she points at just so I could become the means to make that joy explode further in her. She teased me in the car with her naughty songs, with her coy glances at me to suss out whether I caught onto the meaning—when in reality I tried my fucking hardest not to give in to my imagination and crash my car. Her body was curled so divinely, facing me, and my hands gripped the steering wheel until the leather squeaked. We laughed about it, she blamed me for farting, and I longed to kiss her until she would shut up. 

And I should have—because now she’s teasing me with her utmost fascination with a certain clit sucker. 

Whatever color it is. 

It was her idea to head inside this store. We drove around through the moonlit streets of Seoul for an hour, listening to her playlist reverberating throughout the vehicle. With the windows pulled down, the miscellaneous paraphernalia of her soul—the erotism of persona, the melancholia of her heart and the despondency caused from her pain—rumbling out of them, letting everyone see and hear the echo of her newly bloomed enthusiasm and the sprightliness of her being. She was alive at night, alive with me, liking the principle of me learning about her through this artful form. And I liked her liking that. 

The songs spoke what our mouths couldn’t, communicating for us, because we acted as though my own pain didn’t break us apart. In the vivacity of the car drive, in the lapis lazuli of our own exclusive, atmospheric globe, I didn’t tell her off for being bare for me the previous morning. No, I took off her night dress and drank from the sweet nectar of her bosom, right there on the ivory of her plush couch until she drenched it so well that she blushed. 

In fact, it’s the only thing I voiced out in terms of the conflict. 

Perhaps it was due to the influence of her songs, laced with the heady aroma of her energy—fuck, if I know, but I didn’t regret my words. 

Not this time. 

And her glimmering cheeks flushed like they did in my imagination, tightening my cock in the easy way that she was only capable of doing. I seized the tension between us—and I might as well clasped my hand over her thighs, which were still turned to me, with how her breath hitched in her throat in reaction to my brazenness. 

It was the reason why she wrapped her fingers around my wrist when we walked by that sex shop en route to the restaurant I chose, stopping me dead in my tracks. She held our sexuality close to her chest, not adding to it in the car, but unraveling it there, in the middle of the street, with strangers passing by. Gave me a look only a moon kitty like her could, mischievous yet innocent, and tilted her head in the direction of the store. And I knew, deep in my heart, that it was the little creature inside her that dragged me in—no longer neglected, but attuned to my attention, to my care and the respect I wafted towards her. 

There were no two sides to her, and on no account did we stand on the opposite sides of the chessboard with our agonies, despite the fact all I could see was the monochrome of its pattern once I regarded her enthrallment. 

Somehow, we are unified at this very moment,  and I crave to buy her that clit sucker. 

“Choose a color,” I rasp, and my cock agrees with me, twitching at the idea of her picking a color of her liking, one that can match her nails or perhaps the dark wine of her hair. One that bewitched me so profusely once I observed it under that soft white light of the interior of my car, its sleekness dipping into my heart that began to thunder for her. One that absolutely pales in comparison as I look at it now, the red dull and bleak, my sight unfolding in colors. My craving expands when her eyes widen at my seemingly brainsick idea, digging into mine while her tightened lips quiver in a smile. I smirk, enjoying her coy reaction, and I take this teasing into another dimension, austerely because I want to—and because I can, because we can. “Maybe the red one to match your hair.” 

Her gasp melts into a delicate laughter that tickles my insides and, mindlessly, she runs her elongated fingers through the ends of her hair at her tummy. Taps her long, cross-embellished nail, on another package beside it. “This one has the thingy that vibrates inside you.” 

It’s the same rose toy, but with a silicone attachment with a bulbous end. I’m not sure how those violent vibrations inside her walls can feel pleasurable for her, but the way she gazes at it—with a smirk akin to mine and lowered long lashes that languidly beat against the tops of her cheeks—propels me to seek my answer. 

I take it in my hands, inspecting it further. And I notice that the petals hide a small tongue in their center, simulating an oral sex for her lonesome times. 

Heat clings to my skin as I grow feverish. I am leaving for a tour in a few weeks. Who will be there to eat her sweet little pussy? 

The apples of her cheeks blaze in pinkness, regarding me as she is, and I lick my lips. “This one licks your clit. Do you think it’ll do a better job than me?” 

The rose tint deepens at my teasing words and all I can think about is how she’s gonna press those petals deeper and deeper into her folds, digging her long nails into the silicon surface just like she dug her nails into my scalp. And suddenly, I can’t take it anymore. 

I fast forward. 

“Do you want this thing or the bullet?” I ask her, impatient, but for what—I don’t know. What I do know is that I can’t stay in this place any longer with my imagination bursting forth and clouding everything negative I ever felt towards this girl. And while the newness crests joy and contentment in me, I need to be distracted from the lust that has become so natural between us. Or else, I bend her over in this aisle, rip the package open and use it on her while I fuck her dumb. 

I might become unhinged. Just for her, just for the flush blanketing her features. Just so I have her positive feelings in my hands. 

She’s too overwhelmed to respond, redder than her hair and it’s endearing. Kitty cups her face and turns around, letting me see her back, and I do the thing I unknowingly wanted to do the moment I inched closer to her. 

I brush my hand down her noble spine, clothed in the sheer fabric of her tight top that exposes her camisole underneath to me. I hook my fingers on the belt loop of her baggy jeans and bring her back to me. Her gasp is so tender and so unlike her when she collides into me, her fists bunched on the top of my chest, her hair a mess—tangled on her forehead and eyelashes and I’m awestruck. 

By her beauty, by the way there’s no end to her. And I want to keep acknowledging myself with the inexhaustible wholeness of her until I’m gray and stooped in the old age of my affection for her. 

No gold, no golden power staining my hands. She’s silver and I am desperate for that moonlit glory to mist my veins. Privately, for me and her. A thing only we know of. 

No Sun-mi, no Jungkook. 

Pinching the strands of hair away from her face, she seems to be swimming in a thought I’m very curious about. Even more so, when she engages her hands and hangs them over my neck. Calmness relaxes the muscles of my stomach and I take a detailed note of that. 

No anxiousness, no winged demons beneath. 

This is right. This is how it should’ve been from the start. Playfulness, a little bit of lust, and a whole lot of exuberance. Nothing else, at least not this early on. 

And even though I asked her a million naughty questions that I’d love for her to sophistically answer for me, something whispers in my gut that I should share my thoughts with her. And without a hint of fear, I do. 

“This is good, isn’t it?” I murmur, tipping my chin, my body leading me to lean my forehead against hers and I do—I do, I do. Kitty sighs, oddly validating me, and I continue. “I mean I wasn’t planning on buying you a fucking clit sucker tonight, but I’m glad we’re here.” 

She laughs and I lift my head, needing to see her expression of delight. And atypically, my mouth rounds in the same grin and the same laughter spills out of me. 

One that breaks into an indecent groan when she finally graces me with her response. 

“You know, they have rose toys for men as well. So if I’m getting one, you’re buying one, too.” 

It’s like she palmed me over my jeans with her words, but I disagree with a fraction of it. 

“Wrong. I’m getting you one.” 

She appears to be stunned by my willfulness to not let her spend a dime when she’s with me, her mouth parted and her head cocking back just once. And when she closes her pretty, half-glossy mouth, curls the pillows under her teeth and drops her eyes, her palms sliding down my chest, she accepts it. 

And I feel like a man, not a skeleton of who I used to be. 

“You’ll be getting two, then.” 

I chuckle. Draw near to her ear, sinking under the waterfall of her hair, and I hear her breathing harden. “I can get three if you can’t decide,” I flirt, pulling back more to edge her than to stuff my hand with the other toy that includes the bullet, holding it up for her. Her pools sparkle as she looks at them before perching up at mine, melting.

I bite my lip, feral; and I don’t wait for her to answer once I stack them up in one hand, pivoting on my feet. 

“Wait.” 

She steals the box with the bullet and puts it back to its original place. Replaces it with a male version of it, her smile cheerful and full of mischief. I take something else that I cover from her sight, which glides upon the display of all kinds of different cock rings and whatnot. 

Little does she know what I intend to surprise her with as soon as she allows me back into her girlish lust. 

My heart hammers in my chest in tandem with my cock as I pay for it. And I hope that she gets the memo. 

That she’s not just a fling—and certainly not just a friend. 

“Do you think your toy will pass through security?” 

Had I not swallowed my noodles, I would’ve spat them out at her black little outfit. Kitty giggles at my reaction—at the frozen tension in my face as I gaze up at her from my bowl, the soup dripping from my chin. Our movements are simultaneous—hands letting go of our chopstick, but while mine reach for a napkin, hers rummage in the white plastic bag I set down on the empty chair beside me. 

The table is too narrow, and it’s a blessing and a curse. 

Her vanilla perfume hits my nostrils and I’m convinced it’s what the moon must smell like. The box of the male toy is overly big for her hands and her hair shields her from me as she discreetly reads the description and the instructions. I widen my legs under the table, my bloodstream focusing on only one body part of mine, and I wonder if that’s what she was truly thinking of while she ate her own bowl of noodles. 

Fucking myself with a rose fleshlight. Away from her; across the sea. 

Jungkook must’ve told her about our tour. I wasn’t going to mention it tonight because I didn’t want to ruin the night with the sombreness of my work. As much as I looked forward to seeing our Army from that side of the globe, I wasn’t happy with the decision installed upon us—wasn’t happy that our management didn’t ask us about our feelings, whether we’re ready for it or not. It was more of a—you have a job now, do it well, cameras will be rolling—and that was the end of it. Namjoon sensed my dissatisfaction, slouching in his chair in front of me, with his jaw propped between his fingers and his eyes piercing through me but he, too, couldn’t say a thing. 

None of us could. 

It cast me to a deeper sea of my anguish that I didn’t want to stream into my ordinary life with Kitty. I was going to tell her as soon as my fresh emotions would’ve settled and we would’ve settled to the same extent, though having the toy be in the center of it changes everything now. 

It’ll be different. 

I won’t be a puppet, channeling my humanness through my love for our beloved Army. On the contrary, I will be a dancing fool, knowing I have someone waiting for me back in Seoul while being the epitome of my deepest longings and sentiments overseas. My heart, the toy and the means of our communication. 

I wasn’t going to bring the toy with me because if the members were ever to find out, I wouldn’t live it down. But if it makes that sparkle in her irises last a little longer, I shall put extra care into hiding it at the bottom of my suitcase. 

“You want me to take it?” I ask, softly, leaning back in my chair, one hand on the table, the other across my thigh. Her smile curves as she glimpses up at me, and I still can’t believe she pulled out an actual sex toy in a restaurant filled with hungry drunken people. If anyone recognizes me, I’m fucked. Majestically, devastatingly fucked if they take a picture, the said picture gets to our management and I have to write an apology letter on Weverse afterward. 

I’m sorry for having a personal life with a beautiful girl who’s unlike any shallow pretty faces I’ve come across. I will be more mindful of my actions in the future.

Fuck that. 

She can take it out of the packaging and see if it needs to be charged before we can use it if she so much as wishes so. 

We.

Yes, that’s right.

I’m not the same person I was yesterday, and something tells me that I have her to thank for that. 

“Well, I’m sure the Christmas spirit will get to you and you’ll be lonely. Also, let’s not forget it’ll be cuffing season most of all.” 

It’s funny she says that, considering what I secretly bought for her. Hysterical, in fact. Hilarious. 

It’s hidden in the pocket of my jacket, so even though she followed her curiosity into the bag, she still doesn’t know about the surprise that awaits her. I took it out when I let her walk in front of me, discreetly. It brought me more joy than I thought I was ever capable of bearing. 

Still, I wonder how much more of it I can be filled with. And I want to tempt it—brim with it. I reckon she’s the safest person to take that risk with, but the quiet, unknown voice in me adds that it’s not a risk at all. 

Quite the opposite. 

And the idea of cuffing her, both literally and figuratively, draws me closer to that cliff of brisk water of that ultimate joy and I want to get soaked. I want to drink. 

I want to be cleansed by it. 

“Would you like to be cuffed by me, little one?” 

It was automatic, the pet name streaming out of my mouth like that mini waterfall I seem to be dazed by. The question, too. And I’m not afraid, not even a hint of dread crawls upon me, and I find myself hoping that it stays. That everything I do and say from now on is of that automatic matter, unabashed, not blocked, not held back. 

I hope to be a real person with her. Without any ghosts, any demons. Any pain to scar her with. 

The little one doesn’t smile this time, shrinks in her flummox, but still I don’t fear, I don’t wish to grasp my words and put them back in my throat. Taking little steps means grazing your knees and I’m here to place band aids on her bleeding spots. 

I’m here for her. 

And my belief is supported by my actions this whole evening. 

The person I was yesterday is almost unrecognizable to me and I pray, I pray and I will pray once this night is over that it shall remain so. 

“I’m not sure what kind of question you’re asking me right now,” she murmurs, leaning her elbows on the table, drawing close to me like I’m drawing close to her, and it’s good enough. I don’t ask for anything else from her. 

“It’s the one you think it is,” I rasp, making her eyes widen slightly, and I have to chuckle. She’s so damn adorable, standing outside of her comfort zone, and my own eye is watchful over her, over her little steps, band aids ready in my hands. 

At the sound of my soft laughter, she drops her gaze, running her tongue over the inside flesh of her cheek—and there it is. That kind heat rushing through her. I want her to be smoldered by it. 

I want a lot of things when it comes to her, a phenomenon that forces me ponder if there ever will be an end to it. It’s better than feeling dissatisfaction regarding someone, digging a hand deep in them, expecting gold, yet plucking out stones that only cut your skin eventually. The more you dig, the bigger the wound. But I don’t have to do that in her. The little one, the moon kitty herself, gives it over, willingly. All of her silver moon dust, glory, and the ashes from her firelight. 

Maybe that’s how it should be. 

Not expecting, not reaching, but being given, being provided. 

Her eyelids lift and descend over the package in her hands before they root upon mine. And her response to my words keeps me company all the way to America. 

“Show me how well you can use this and I just might be.” 

Dead or alive, I blur between the lines. Jet lagged or just sick with love, it is a conjoined affair in me like the two halves of my heart. 

I miss her, even though I haven’t been able to unattach myself from my phone, the only tangible connection between us—the back and forth exchange of words, emojis and stickers that I had never used in my life but began to spam our conversations with once she coyly hid behind them. I miss her, even though I spent nearly every day with her until I boarded my flight. 

In Jungkook’s hotel room, the members share a meal together while I stay back, settled comfortably on the beige couch by the floor-length windows as the morning sun shimmers its rays across the walls. I’m sporting a hard-on, which I camouflage with a rough-textured pillow across my lap, due to the contents of our text messages. Hobi is slurping his ramen next to me, elbows propped on his elbows, posture slouched, oblivious to the fact that the girl of his platonic dreams is horny and challenging me to join her in her evening self-care. 

Yes, Hobi has developed a crush on the moon kitty and I was the first one to know. 

During the last of our leisure time in November before the tour, Hobi called me up and asked me to join him on his last drinking adventure before our work duties swallowed us. He lured me into his apartment with the two bottles of Hennessy that he had bought for the occasion and we talked work, we talked our management and we talked girls. 

He admitted to me how guilty he felt for triggering such unpleasant memories in Kitty’s mind after I shared with him the reason why I picked her up into my arms and walked away from him. I was purposefully vague in my speech, not wanting to disclose such privacy without her present, without her knowing especially, and Hobi respected that. Told me he thought about her since that day, remembering only the negative, tethered wisps that seemed to curl tightly in his gut. And I, drunk out of my mind, doting and devoted, shared with him that I wanted her. 

Made sure to emphasize in my admission that she was mine. 

It was the bravest thing I ever had done. 

Hobi understood, explained to me that how he regarded her was strictly friendly. Thought that she carried a certain elegance of beauty that was unprecedented in today’s culture, however, with which I enthusiastically agreed. Then he clutched my shoulder, the wounded one, with extra tenderness, looked me carefully in the eye, and gave me a groundbreaking word of advice that shook through my world. 

Don’t treat her like you treated Sun-mi. 

I didn’t grasp the meaning until we opened the second bottle and Hobi, seeing my puzzlement, fleshed out his wisdom. 

Don’t cling, don’t make her the air you breathe. Just live your life by her side and breathe your own air. You worked too hard to get here to backtrack. 

And I tried, within the little time we had together. 

We didn’t fuck, we didn’t devour each other’s bodies. We conversed, I learned her favorite color, the name of her favorite band, the dishes she liked—and the common ins and outs of her life. White wasn’t the only color of her soul, she liked red; that deep, dark tint one would only witness alive in the depth of the night. She liked the color of the stop lights, of the tail lights; she liked the way it bathed my face in gentle, undangerous fire whenever we would get stuck in traffic on our car drives—and apparently she liked my patience. 

Chase Atlantic was her favorite band. 

Tteokbokki her favorite dish. 

And I was her favorite person. A fact I already knew by the way she would kiss me at those favorite stop lights of hers. 

That was all we did. Kiss and converse. And I didn’t cling to her, didn’t make her the air I breathed. On the contrary, following Hobi’s wisdom, I fell for her in the purest of ways, which I somehow made possible in this befouled world. 

And, perhaps, she did, too. A deduction of mine because she began to smoke in front of me at some point. 

She was afraid I wouldn’t like it, a sensitive wound that she let me in on—a formless, unclear one that kept me wide awake at night, scrambling my brain to try and figure out what the fucker before me did to her. That was, until she told me, upon our last car drive during that last week we’d have with each other, that the said wound was caused by my own fault. 

I told her off for being bare for me at the beginning of the trajectory of our closeness and I sowed a poisonous plant of a hang-up in her. A block in her brain that pressured her to hide the “questionable” parts of her from me. 

But there weren’t any questionable parts of her—and I told her, after I pulled out my own pack, lit up one, grabbed her by the back of her neck and kissed her until her lungs were depleted of air. 

It was the bloom of our lust, particularly the vocal, intense apology I strung into her lips, kissing them deeper and deeper until they swelled. It was the beginning of our naughty text messages—right on the cusp of my absence, hooking onto my yearning and expanding it to heavenly dimensions. 

Yes, heavenly. Our closeness represented heaven as we had forgotten about our toys and remembered them during our hypersexual conversations. Face to face, we focused on the stimulation of our connected intellect, our intertwined characters; phone to phone, our bodies sought compensation.

And right now, upon the first morning here in the US, the moon kitty is persuading me into unpacking my suitcase and using the rose toy in my room. 

She’s straining, working so hard, sending me her little stickers of adorable, pleading animals, incognizant to the fact that I don’t need to be that much impelled to do it. She’s staying up for me, needy in bed—I made my decision the second she mentioned it. 

I merely delight in her saying please. 

I get off on it; it makes my cock rock hard and the concept of the members being around and unaware of what she’s doing to me—especially Jungkook, who’s stimming and happy to be eating after a restless night—heightens my pleasure, lengthening towards the heavens. 

If only I could take her there. With my tongue. Like I did the first time, holding her body down so she wouldn’t rise higher without me. 

pleaseeeeee, i’m gonna start without you if you dont get up rn 

I smile at the text message and I imagine her writhing in her bed, her bedsheets crumpled and tousled around her, her fingers tracing the curved petals of her rose toy—itching, impatient, needy; waiting for me. 

My cock grows. And I, too, meet my impatience. 

Just a second. Be good, I respond back to her, locking my phone and immersing myself in reality. 

The boys are uncharacteristically quiet, each one indulging in an activity of their own. Jungkook is huffing, his cheeks full and around, staring down his plate of food as if it was about to grow its own legs and walk away from him. Jimin is watching him with an endeared smile that is split by a secrecy all of us are aware of. Lopsided, its glow is shunned out by the tender, doleful layer of wetness in his eyes. And I know that his tummy will get full by watching him eat and that it will be his only source of fulfilling food for today. 

I clench my fists. 

Hobi beside me has finished his own breakfast and has entered his food coma, staring into nothing at the ceiling as he rests his neck against the backrest of the couch. Taehyung is looking at me in a way that brings my eyes back to him for a double take. With a smirk and a glint in the gentleness of his eyes, he flicks his browns at his own phone and nods his head, telling me something in the silent language that I don’t want him to. 

He noticed something he shouldn’t have. 

The words are flung out of me long before I comprehend what I’m saying, up and ready on my feet, covering my erection with the thick hem of my oversized shirt. 

“I’m gonna head to mine for a bit and take a shower,” I announce, making heads lift in my direction, and considering my situation, I cower in shyness, keeping my back to them as I walk towards the front door. 

“The stylist is coming at one pm and we have a soundcheck at three thirty,” Namjoon informs, and I pivot to look at him, at all six of them while my hand remains on the doorknob. 

Jungkook is rubbing his eyes and I take one last look at his faded mint hair, saying goodbye to it in my heart. I know what hair color I’m changing my silver hair to, thought of it on the plane and was immediately convinced it was my greatest idea. I nod, sweeping my eyes over the last five heads as if I was going to come back to them as a different person. 

Perhaps I was. 

I ignore Taehyung and his knowing smile as I leave, racking my brain, trying to come up with the reason why he’s acting like this. Did Hobi say something or was I not careful enough, divulging my secret out in the open with my face or my body language? Was the pillow over my lap and my eyes, all of my attention glued to my phone making it that obvious that I’m seeing someone? 

How would they react if they knew it was the Kitty girl? 

I leave it be for now, my cock asking for attention. I fish out my hotel key card and close everything behind me. Taehyung’s all seeing eye, Jimin’s diet and I stoop in my homesickness. 

It’s been two days and I feel as though Kitty ripped my heart out of my chest and folded it somewhere inside her purse when we hugged for the last time. I reminisce on her innocent touch on my neck, the only place she ever touched me besides my hair, on her lips that pressed against that place her hands warmed as I video call her. 

She picks up, immediately. 

I can only see her round head, the red of her hair sprawled messily on the silky, light beige cover of her pillow while the rest of her body is shrouded by that material. She smiles at me, no hint of embellishment lining her face—and something tells me that she’s all bare underneath her bed sheets, too. 

I palm my cock, desperate. 

“How long were you gonna keep me waiting?” she asks, and proves me right as she raises a hand and props it behind her head, the duvet drifting down a little and exposing the beginning of her fleshy peak and my mouth waters. I licked and kissed that breast of hers once upon a time and I would do anything to have that opportunity right now. I would do a better job; I would drive her insane. Spoil her with kisses so harsh that she would reach a point in heaven that no one ever has. 

I think about her question and deem I could never keep her waiting long if I were all by myself. “You know who I was with. Was I supposed to pull out my dick in front of them?” 

She giggles at my bizarre response, shifting her head to find a more comfortable spot, and the wholeness of her breasts greets me.

Bless all silky beddings. The superior invention of all. 

“Oh, hello there,” I joke, deepening her giggles and she angles her phone so I don’t see anything, breaking me apart. 

I shall punish her for it. 

I set my phone down against the table by the wall and take my shirt off. My angle allows her to see the state of me that she created with her lust—by telling me that she was up and desperate for me, craving the toy that I bought for her and that she wouldn’t use it unless I did with her at the same time. I didn’t need any details, any obscenities that I know full well she’s capable of giving me. Just her admitting to me that she needed me, trusting me enough with that intimate information made me so hard that I couldn’t contain myself. 

I watch her eyes glide down my body that isn’t good enough to be regarded like she does, stopping at the weakness she’s effectuated in my groin. And I let her, the first person who ever looked at me with such raw, undomesticated hunger. 

And I wish she would eat me up. Get on a plane, get to this hotel, to my room and take her time taking out my bones. I am for her taking—and I have been since the first time our eyes linked. 

“You’re not really helping me right now,” she croaks out, her raspy voice enveloping around my aching cock and I can say the same. Especially when she shifts entirely, rolls over to her tummy and I can see her natural face better, the carmine of her hair that veils and tickles her cleavage, enough that she flicks it behind her shoulder, letting me be the witness to her bare skin. 

Now she’s punishing me. 

“Was I supposed to help you? I thought we’re helping ourselves,” I tease, and my words pull her mouth apart, even more so when I begin to take off my belt, making sure I tug it out of my belt loops swiftly. She bites her lip, ruining me, and I want to use that leather on her. I fold it in half and point it at her. “This is what you’re getting once I see you.” 

She licks the skin she bit onto, her eyes widening, and I quiver—I quiver because she likes the idea. 

“What for?” she asks, raising her voice a little bit, and I chuckle. 

“For being so goddamn beautiful.” 

Kitty blushes and curls her lips under her teeth like I’ve noticed she so often does. I like it so much, so fucking much that I yearn for her to do it when she takes my cock into her throat for the first time. 

I know she will do a good job, swallowing every inch. 

“Where’s your toy, huh?” 

My chuckle is savage this time, vibrating in my sternum and I watch her perk up at the sound like the kitten she is. I descend into madness, willingly, hasty to jump head-first into this thing, despite my following words. 

“You just can’t wait, can you?” 

Her ‘no’ is etched all over her flushed cheeks and I crave to kiss it, run my lips all over it so they can remember it beyond this day, this month—all the way into the new year. 

“Did you pass through security with it or does the entire LAX know what a slut you are?” 

Her words spring in me, exciting me further more, and I can’t help but smile and blush, like her. I drop my gaze, fondle the leather of my belt, and I feel little sparks of muted electricity shooting down my arms. My mind outruns me, picturing the way I physically destroy her for her bratty, delicious mouth, and my smile blossoms, denting into my face. 

“Your ass is gonna be red, little one. So fucking red you won’t be able to sit down.” 

She doesn’t back away at the threat and I visibly see my own reaction reflecting in her. And it’s my mouth that parts this time when she props her phone against something, rises her chest in the air and sits down on her folded legs. And I have to hold onto the table, with the belt still caged in my grasp, when she spreads her thighs and gives me the consent to see all of her. 

Her perked, full breasts, asking for me. Her soft tummy, perfect for my hands to hold. And my own personal ruination down low, between those thighs, glistening and sopping wet. 

“Not even like this?” 

My cock aches. I let go of the belt and the clanging sound accompanies me as I unbutton my pants. “Not even like this.” 

My desire lodges at the bottom of me, pent-up and animalistic. And I take my phone, rummage in my opened suitcase for the toy, lube and head for the shower. My manliness doesn’t even move due to how hard I am. 

Hearing the sizzling noise of the blasting stream of the shower, her brows scrunch up in confusion and I enjoy her obliviousness to her punishment. 

“You’re taking a shower?” 

I’m not too sure about how loud the toy is and I’m not risking having my members eavesdropping on our intimate act with their ears pressed against the thin walls. I’m absolutely not risking shit, locking the door behind me after I leave her in the small rectangular hole in the shower and dispose myself of my underwear. 

And when I step inside and the water dribbles down my sensitive skin, ignited from my lust and hers, I discover that my plan is working out perfectly. 

She can’t see anything. 

She can’t see the lower half of my body—and she won’t be able to watch the petal-ornamented mouth of the toy swirling around my cock. 

And that’s what she gets, talking like that. 

“Get your toy ready, kitty,” I say, letting the water drench me before I get the job done. I push my hair back and I hear her gasp, the sound making me stop my movements. I look over to her, swiping the drops from my eyes, and I find her humping her hand ever so slowly. I rage, beautifully, wishing that was my hand she was gliding her pussy on until I realize that I’m the reason she slid her hand down there. But that still doesn’t mean she’s allowed to do so. “No touching or we stop.”

My heart hammers in my chest when she complies and my weakness for her increases, filling up every part of me until she’s the very owner of me. 

I swell up with pride. 

“Good girl.” 

At my praise she plunges her wet fingers into her mouth and I lose my sanity. I lose my name, my identity, and the knowledge of my whereabouts. I’m not in LA, where I don’t want to be, carrying my responsibilities and the pressure of unfairness on my back, but I’m somewhere else entirely. All by myself in a place, where she’ll soon join me. A wintry island, just for us, where I’m not an idol, where I don’t have a job that forces me away from her, but where I’m free. Free to do whatever I please. 

“Good fucking girl. Let me have a taste.” I lean my palms against the edge of the hole and I die when she reaches her shiny fingers towards me, towards the camera. I hum, the sound interwoven with my gentle laughter, and I stop myself before I lick the screen. “Thank you. So good, Kitty. Now, can you be the best girl ever and lick your toy? Make it nice and wet for your pussy?” 

Her breath trembles as she exhales, reaching over for the red rose beyond the set-up of her phone. And she rests her chest against the mattress, upthrusts her bum in the air and while she’s this close to the camera, she darts out her tongue and drags it over the silicone hole in the center, her alluring eyes fixed on me. 

My arousal oozes out of my tip, scalding hot, and I suck in a breath, fucked out. 

“Fuck, baby,” I husk, my eyelids lowering as my whole body catches on fire, and I can’t respire. I grip the edge until my fingers are bathed in white. My desire asks for more. “Spit on it for Oppa.” 

She moans and I nearly explode, my memories of her noises when I was tongue-deep in her flooding through my mind, and I can’t take any more of it. Especially not the discovery that she’s keen on titles, keen on me being the dominant one. 

My palm itches for my cock, but I won’t give in. Not yet. 

Kitty gathers her saliva and she seizes all of me when she spits on it, circling her tongue around the rim, spreading it there. And then she whines and my manliness twitches, painfully, ridding me of any sense I had left. 

“Can we start now, please?” she begs, and I’m ready to give her everything. 

I moisten my lips. “Wait for just a little while, baby. Let Oppa get his toy ready.” 

And under her gaze, I squirt the lube inside the hollowness and all over myself, sighing and tilting my head back when I scatter the liquid along my shaft. The pressure of my fist is delicate, yet it feels as though I’m levitating. I’m confident it’s owing to the fact I’m being watched by those rounded eyes of hers and that she’s observing what her psyche has done to me. 

“I want to see you,” she whimpers, and I don’t feel like punishing her any longer. 

I unclench my fist. “What pretty word do you use when you ask for something?” 

She doesn’t even think about it and my pride enlarges. “Please.”

“That’s a good fucking kitty.” 

She sits up and nearly fucks her mattress, moaning into her hand—and I know, I already know that I won’t last long under these circumstances. 

I’m so eager to give her what she wants that I don’t perceive that she's never seen this private part of me before until she gasps so fucking loudly that I startle. I’ve set her on the lower shower shelf and her mouth is wide open, the toy prepared in her hand. 

“You’re so…” she trails off, shy all of a sudden, and I might pay for her plane tickets after my shower. I’m fucking her so hard that I’ll mark every single inch of mine inside her pretty pussy. 

“Tiny,” I finish for her, and she laughs in that dopey way, even though we haven’t even started yet. 

“Will that toy even… fit you?” she asks, her pools entwined to my cock, transfixed, and I long to kiss her. Despairingly. 

I look down to my little man, to the toy and eventually to her. “I’ll make it fit.” 

Her breath hitches in her throat, pleasuring me. “If you talk like that while we do our thing, I won’t be able to hold out.” 

I hum, deeply, my endearment. “Why is that a problem?” She’s taken aback, like she always is whenever we talk, and I tilt my head towards the toy in her hand. “I want you to ride it for me.” 

She sinks her teeth into her bottom lip and places the rose between her legs without taking her eyes off of mine. Ever so dangerous, ever so aphrodisiacal. “I want you to fuck it for me.” 

I groan, wrapping my fist around my shaft. “Turn it on, Kitty. Make yourself feel good.” 

She mewls long before she turns it on—and once she does, her chest arches towards me and her eyes flutter back. Her hips slowly find their rhythm as she begins to hump it, unsure at first before falling into its temptation. And then she’s loud, louder than the raging waterfall behind me, sprinkling me, and louder than me when I get to work and tug on my length. 

My noises bring her to me, but she doesn’t fix her gaze on mine—they pass down to my cock, her moans becoming needier, and she encourages me to join her. 

“Come on, Oppa, it feels so good.” 

I wade in a haze, spurred from her pleasure and now the title, unable to move my limbs. “Is it sucking on your clit?” 

She nods her head, stopping, but it brings forth more delight for her. She crumbles, her chest curving, and she saves herself from tumbling by propping her palm flat on the mattress, struggling—struggling to breathe, struggling to talk. 

“I—I’m not doing it if—if you’re not,” she stutters, her words melting into a whimper and I’m gone. 

It’s her energy, her desperation-fueled energy that pushes me to move my other limb and glide the mouth of the toy down my tip. She orders me to turn it on and I do, bending forward in the paralyzing pleasure it begins to give me. 

And it’s me who’s loud as it sucks on my head so vehemently that I, too, struggle. 

“Fuck, fuck—” I groan, lowering the toy down my length just in time for it to take the other direction, and I don’t moan any of her pet names. No, I moan out her name—and I make her come. 

My name breaks on her tongue and it is as my undoing as it is hers. I have to pull it out of me in order not to stop our playtime there, recuperating by watching her convulse while sitting on the toy as it completely traps her in the celestial realm of her orgasm. My cock twitches in the air, yearning to be inside her, and feel her walls spasm around it. I accept my death for the longevity of the bursting of her pleasure and I fall, I face-plant, drastically, for her. Deeper and deeper. 

No way back. 

“Good girl. So good. Oppa is proud of you.” 

She yelps, overstimulation grappling her, and I bite my lip so hard I break skin. She lifts her bum, quivering, and only when she catches her breath and begs me to come for her do I fuck the toy and chase down my own orgasm. 

And it doesn’t take long. Not when she topples onto the mattress and her face is what I come on while she, again, joins me, working her fingers on her clit out of my view. 

“You know I’m fucking you and not this toy,” I mutter, focusing the suction on my tip as I pound it. And when she moans my name and I hear the squelching of her hole, I throw the toy on the shelf beside my phone and use my hand to stain her face as if she were here with me, on her knees. 

My orgasm erupts and erupts, triggering hers, and we come together like this. Close, yet far away. Looking into each other’s eyes—never failing, never deteriorating, never diving into our past pains. 

Lightness blankets me and I feel as though I could fly and drift through this world without any burdens to bear on my back. Kitty looks well-spent and I suppose I reflect her all over again—and shall reflect her until my last dying day. 

I wipe my screen, my innermost craving still yet not satisfied, and I identify what it truly is. As she raises onto her knees, I lean against the shelf with my elbows and reveal it to her. 

“Let me see your pussy. Show me how wet you were for me.” 

She saw me up close, I didn’t.

It is only fair. 

She swears, enveloping her vulgarities around my name, and she obeys. Lies back down against her silky pillows and takes her phone between her legs, spreading them. She parts her wet folds with the two of her fingers and I salivate. Her clit is swollen and carmine from the intense sucking of the toy, glimmering in the faint light, her lips dripping and her hole squeezing around nothing. I wither in need, tasting blood on my lip, and when she runs all four of her fingers up her clit, I begin to heave. 

Hard, all over again. 

“Such a pretty pussy. Oppa misses it.” 

She purrs nonsense, as sleepy as she is, and the transfer back to reality is brutal. I check the time and it must be almost four AM in Seoul. I grieve the time zone between us, hoping the endeavor we shared was worth her staying up for me. 

“Good night, moon kitty. Sleep well.” 

She mumbles the same without omitting my newly deep-seated title. The three beautiful words for her form on my tongue, but I don’t say them. I save them for a better time, for the end of this tour, once I fly her to me. 

I watch her sleep for a little bit, my cock softening. Her hand is furled under her chin and I think about how she’s protecting my heart right in there. It doesn’t allow me to end the call, so I take a shower, place her on the sink when I dry myself off, on the table when I dress myself and turn my microphone off when I blow dry my hair. 

It is only when Jungkook knocks on my door and sloshes his sudden plan over me that I am forced to let her flow in her dreams without me and keep them undisturbed. 

What he tells me is my duty and I don’t hesitate to pocket my inconspicuous knife that carries too many bad memories. 

I thank him in my head that I get to wash those memories away with a different blood. 

What he tells me is this: “Come with me, hyung, we have a son of a bitch to mutilate.” 

𓂃 ౨ৎ LOVE-KISSED BABIES: @tkslovechild, @jjk7k, @parkinglot-nights, @bethvar, @Sexytholland, @yoongibaybee, @crystaleah,@fennecnco, @lil-kpopstan, @euphoricmyth, @jungkoock, @cinmmongirl, @hoseokkie-caeks, @kam9404, @fr0ggieth1nk.

© 2024 hoseoksluna, all rights reserved.

BACK to masterlist | READ fourth part

Boy With Luv

Note: I found this prompt on Pinterest and it sounded promising. The first person that came to my mind was Yoongi. So I wrote a fan fiction about him. A little reminder that it is totally fictional. The character I made has nothing to do with the real Min Yoongi. Anyway, I hope you like it.

Fandom: BTS Pairing: Min Yoongi x Female reader Genre: Fluff and Angst Warning: Implication of self-harm, slight swearing, little drinking. Word Count: 3k Words

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“WHAT? It’s already 8:45?” I needed to hurry or I’d miss my 9 a.m. English class. I jumped out of my bed and changed my clothes as quickly as I could. I sprinted out of my house checking my watch to found that it was already 9.

A trip from the bus stand to my college took almost 15 more minutes. I started to run once I got down from the bus. I was breathing heavily when I opened the door to my class.

“We’ve already discussed about our new project, dear. Since, you’re late, your partner will explain it to you. Mr. Min Yoongi, as you’re the only one left without a partner, you two may pair up.” The professor announced.

I was too shocked to give any reaction while Yoongi just nodded. Every other seats were already taken. So I had to go sit on the back with this guy called Min Yoongi. The whole class went on in a blur. I glanced at my partner twice. He seemed to be really absorbed at whatever he was writing on his notes.

First, let me put some words about Min Yoongi. He was majoring in Music and we only had English course together. He looked very intimidating. I never saw him talk with anyone unless it was necessary. The only time he talked to me was when I was with my best friend discussing about our plans for a sleepover and he told me I was being too loud to be on the library. Since then, I tried to avoid him at all cost.

But now, he was my partner for the English project, whatever it was. I was already too nervous to approach him about the matter.

Once the class was over, he said to me, while packing his bag, “We have to write ‘Daily Words of Affirmation’ to each other for the next five days.”

“Huh?” was the only thing that came out of my mouth.

“The group project?” he raised his eyebrows.

“Oh right,” I said, “the group project. So, I have to write something positive to you from when exactly?”

“From today.” He headed to the door. “And also,” he turned back, “You can write a hand written note or send me via email, whatever way you’re comfortable with.” And he was gone.

“So, that’s it?” I thought to myself, “No other instructions? Can’t he just sit and talk like a normal person do when they do group projects?” I was getting really annoyed at this guy by then. What could I possibly write when I couldn’t even find anything good about him?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My hair looked like a mess as I repeatedly ran my hand through them. “Oh, come on! Think like a mature person. Everybody has some good aspects about them.” I forced myself to think of something nice. The fact that by the end of the week we had to submit our interaction to our professor was more frustrating.

As I didn’t know him very well, I thought about writing something about his appearance instead. What was I going to write anyway? It wasn’t like I found him very attractive or something.

I closed my eyes and tried to imagine his face. For some reason he looked like a cat to me. I smiled to myself, “Fine! I’ll write that.” I hoped he’d take that as a compliment.

“You look like a cat.” I typed on my laptop. It sounded too rude. I tried to think of a creative way to put it. I typed again.

“Though lazy, cats are really skillful in hunting. Somehow, your face reminds me of a cat. Can’t wait to find out what you’re good at!”

I was really satisfied with whatever I wrote. Before I could send it, I got an email from Yoongi first.

“With or without glasses, your eyes are the most appealing bit on your face (that’s my personal opinion).”

I was taken aback. I couldn’t picture Min Yoongi writing me that. Also, his message sounded better as a Words-of-Affirmation than mine. I still couldn’t think of a decent thing to say. So without working myself up I sent my message.

Before going to bed I went to the bathroom to wash my face as a part of the night routine. I took off my glasses and stared into my eyes in the mirror. The last time someone told me that my eyes were beautiful was in grade 8. That was before I started wearing glasses.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was prepared to talk to Min Yoongi the next day. I needed to find out something to write this time. It was so frustrating last night that I finally built up my courage to get acquainted with this seemingly rude guy.

We didn’t have English class that day. So I texted him to meet me at the cafeteria whenever he could. After waiting for what seemed like an eternity he texted back, “Come to the library.”

“Oh God! That library again. Does this guy even think about other people’s conveniences?” But it seemed like I had no other choice. I was determined to ace that English course no matter what. So, burying my ego I went to the library.

He was sitting at the far corner, his usual place. I got closer and saw that he was reading ‘The Alchemist’ by Paulo Coelho. That caught my attention and I spoke up without hesitation, “I read that book last month.”

Yoongi glanced at me once and got back to reading again. I sat beside him. I tried to take the conversation further, “They say this book helps you to find your true destiny. But I guess I was too caught up with All-thing-is-one stuff to notice that.”

“Don’t worry.” He said turning a page, “Some people read with their eyes and not their minds.”

“Excuse me?” I felt offended, “did you just consider me as one of those people?’

He shrugged his shoulder while still keeping his eyes on the book. As a book lover his words felt like an insult to me. Why on earth did I end up being partnered up with a guy like him on a project like this?

I decided it was time to be frank, “Listen here, Mr. Min Yoongi. I wanted to talk to you only because I felt it was necessary to know you better. You know, for the project?”

“Yes, I know.” He shut his book close and stared at me. His eyes looked cold. It felt like he was daring me to say something more. Something I was desperately wanting to throw at him.

The next moment I saw something else in those eyes. But I couldn’t figure it out then. I turned to go away when I heard him say under his breath, “Because no one in their right mind would want to know me.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What could he mean by that? It ought to sound like a threat. But I felt like it was a cry for help. The more I got to know him, the more mysterious he was getting.

At least I was relieved. Because by then, I had already figured out what to write to him next.

“There’s hope for you because you read with your mind and not just the eyes.”

I wrote that thinking he was clever enough to see the sarcasm in it while our professor would have no clue, being unaware of the whole situation. I sent the message and went on about my day.

I got his email at midnight. I immediately opened it.

“You’re a natural optimistic, always seeing the beauty in the ugliest of places.”

I pondered over his words. If he really meant whatever he wrote, that would mean he had took enough time to put some serious thoughts about me.

“That’s for the project only, you silly!” I told myself.

As I went to bed, his face appeared in front of me. The way he looked at me when he said, “Yes, I know!” I felt like I knew the second expression on his face, “Was it, perhaps, sadness?”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I texted him again the next morning, “Are you busy? If not, let’s meet again.” I had thought about his last message to me. It was rather a compliment. I was truly an optimist. My father once told me it was a strength to hold onto. So, I decided I would not let that go so easily just because some guy was trying to act tough.

I got a reply, “Actually yes, I’m kinda busy. Currently working on my new music.” After a second, another message popped up, “Sorry about it. Maybe we can meet at evening?”

It didn’t sound too bad this time. He was actually trying to be polite, whatever the reason might be. I didn’t write him back. Instead I went straight to the practice room.

It was a huge hall with different instruments here and there. I found him sitting at the very corner with a piano. So, he played piano? I always wanted to take piano lessons. For some reasons, I was never able to.

There was no one in the room. I moved closer to hear him play better. He was scribbling in his notes something I couldn’t see. I patiently waited without bothering him. Then, he started to play.

The music slowly started to build by the time. The sweet music turning into something, I dare say, emotional. I felt my heart getting heavy. My feet felt numb. I stayed motionless as I took in every stroke of the key within myself.

How could a person seemingly so cold, make music so touching?

Yoongi finished the whole piece and looked back at me, directly into my eyes, as if he knew I was standing there. A drop of tear fell from my eye. I suddenly realized my cheeks were wet.

“What did you name it?” I asked about the beautiful music he had created.

“First Love.”

We were sitting across the table in the café. I had a latte while he ordered an Americano. “Did you really make that?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

“It was so beautiful. I have never heard anyone playing a piano before. You sounded like a piano prodigy or something.”

“You’re saying that since you never heard anyone playing a piano before.”

A moment of silence, then I broke into a laugh. I was getting used to his kind of humor by then. Yoongi’s smile slowly built on his lip. His cheeks turned red as he said “thank you” in a low voice.

“What?” I said loudly, “I couldn’t hear you. Did you just come up with another savage reply of yours since the last one didn’t bother me?”

This time his smile widened to reach up to his eyes. That was a sight I never saw before. He looked so innocent with that gummy smile of his. I suddenly felt something inside my stomach twisting.

He felt like a boy I could love.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Was it even possible? Could people really fall in love with someone so easily? Or maybe I was mistaking infatuation for love. Even if I wasn’t in love with him already, I was pretty sure I would be soon if I continued to get closer to him.

One thing was clear. Whatever the feeling might be, it was too strong to ignore. Never in my life had I felt something so deep.

“You are so full of love that you should cherish your ability of making such lively music.”

I didn’t hesitate to send him the message. This time, I waited eagerly for his reply. His words were reassuring. They made me feel alive. They made me realize, I had something in me. But again, that was exactly what the project was all about.

I waited and waited. At some point I fell asleep on my reading table. I woke up at about 10 p.m. I quickly checked my email. The message I was waiting for had already arrived.

“You’re a light in the darkest room, a bright star in the night sky. You’re someone’s hope in the time of complete despair.”

I knew I would keep thinking about it all night.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

10:43 p.m. I texted him, “Can’t sleep.”

“Me too.” A quick reply.

“Wanna meet?”

“Sure.”

11:04 p.m. We were sitting on the park bench. The night was surprisingly cold. I was grateful for the beer Yoongi brought with him. But I was getting high by the time.

“I don’t know what to talk about.”

“Don’t worry. I like silent company more.”

11:18 p.m. I could feel the alcohol was making me a little drowsy. But I didn’t want to go back just then. “What are you good at? Other than music?” I said trying to avoid the sleepiness.

“I used to play basketball in high school.”

11:35 p.m. I decided it was time to talk about some real shit, “I want to get a tattoo so bad.”

“Get it then.”

“My mother will kill me.”

Yoongi shrugged his shoulder. Then he unbuttoned his sleeve to show me his bare wrist. I spotted a faint white line there, “What is that?” As soon as I asked that, I knew I messed up.

“Shit.” I swore, “Sorry.”

“If you ever decide to get the tattoo, take me with you. I’ll get one here.” He raised his wrist again.

“Fine! Let’s get going then.”

11:49 p.m. Yoongi drove us to the tattoo parlor I always passed by and fantasized about getting in.

“I can’t believe we’re doing this.” I almost screamed in excitement. Yoongi smiled at me and my inside melted.

They were not allowing us to go inside since it was almost closing time. I practically begged them to let us in. After a minute or two, Yoongi stepped forward and said something to the guy I couldn’t hear properly.

Finally they let us in.

12:14 a.m. We were driving back from the parlor. “Don’t you want to see my tattoo?” I asked.

“You probably got it somewhere no one could see.”

I smirked, “I’ll show YOU though.” I lifted my shirt to show my waist where I got a little bow.

“What did you get?” I asked Yoongi, “Can I see it?”

He showed me his wrist. There was a small line drawn along which were the piano keys. It was so simple yet I knew how important it was to him.

He said, “Piano is my savior.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I woke up late with a headache. I quickly lifted my shirt to check my tattoo. It was there, fresh as new. I smiled to myself, “So it wasn’t a dream after all.”

I took a pain reliever and made myself some mango juice. I checked my email and found Yoongi’s message. Just the thought of reading it made my whole body squirmy.

“You’re a rebel at heart.”

It was such a compliment to me. All my life, I’d only had dreams. But I felt like a coward every time I stepped away from fulfilling them. I decided, as soon as my semester would be over, I’d start getting piano lessons as well.

“Maybe Yoongi can teach me.” I thought and smiled.

It was my turn to return the compliment.

“The courage you have to show the vulnerable side of yours, makes you stronger.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I texted Yoongi that I had three classes, so I would meet him at evening. I already missed more than half of the first class since I woke up late. During the other classes I kept checking my phone often to see if he had replied. There was none.

Once my last class was done, I called him. It sent me straight to voicemail, “Hey Yoongi, it’s me. Just called to know when you’re free so that we could hangout… Yeah! So, call me back when you can, okay?”

I was waiting anxiously all evening. But there was not a single text or call from Yoongi. I kept wondering what could be the reason.

“He’s probably busy, that’s all.” I tried to reassure myself. But there was a part of me which felt like something was not right.

Maybe my last message mentioning about his vulnerable side was too much. Maybe he never meant for me to see that, but he was drunk enough to let that slip.

It was already midnight. Yoongi hadn’t contact me for a whole damn day. I was really stressed at that point. I felt like I had messed up. I wanted to cry.

“Why do you have to be so clingy, you pathetic bitch?” I shouted out at myself. That didn’t help. Since there was nothing I could do, I finally fell asleep wishing that as soon as I woke up, everything would be okay.

I checked my phone the next day. There was still no reply. So, I felt like it was time I wrote my final Words-of-Affirmation to him.

“You are someone’s favorite person in the entire world.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yoongi texted me that evening, “Meet me at the park.”

I saw Yoongi waiting for me beside the park bench we were sitting on two nights ago. I went to him and he looked up, his expression unreadable.

“Why didn’t you call me yesterday?” was the first thing that came out of me.

“It doesn’t matter.” He said, “Our project ends today.”

“Project?” I was too confused. What did he mean by that? Were we just hanging out because of that stupid project? I felt too numb to react to that.

Yoongi took some time before he said slowly, “It doesn’t feel right.”

“What?” I asked.

“We shouldn’t be hanging out.”

“And why is that?” I was getting a little angry at him.

“Everything’s happening too fast. I don’t think I’m ready to handle them.” He sounded as if he were scared.

“Yoongi, it’s okay! We all feel overwhelmed at times. It’ll pass. Just take it easy and see what comes next.”

“No!” he said, “Please, don’t try to get too close. We’ll both end up being hurt.”

“I’m sure that won’t happen.” I stepped forward. But Yoongi took a step back.

“But you don’t know me.”

“I want to know you.” I said, “At least give me a chance.”

Yoongi gave out a mocking laugh, “How can you do that when I don’t even know myself?”

That was it. I couldn’t bring myself to say anything else. I stood there in silence. Tears threatening me every moment to burst out.

“There is a lot I still need to figure out.” Yoongi said finally, “I need to find myself first in order to let people get close to me. I don’t want to lose any loved ones anymore.”

He came closer and took my hands. He gave me a folded paper and said, “It’s my last message to you. Forgive me for everything, will you?”

Then he walked away. Tears kept falling from my eyes as I didn’t stop them anymore. Crying was the only way I knew to deal with grief.

I opened the paper when I got home.

“You have so much potential in you that once you realize your destiny, no one can stop you from achieving it.”

Whatever the destiny was, I didn’t know it. All I knew was that what Yoongi needed was time. And I could surely gave him that. But I was not going to give up on him.

My Masterlist

Parallel

Fandom: BTS Pairing: Jungkook x Female Reader x Yoongi Warning: It’s extremely angsty, toxic relationship (bit problematic too), physical and emotional abuse, drinking, manipulative behavior?

*************************************************

I look at him in disbelief. “Is it really the Jungkook I fell in love with?” I ask myself.

My cheek hurts from the slap that Jungkook’s hand had just landed on my face. Tears are forming in my eyes. I can’t see him properly through my blurry vision.

Instead who came to my mind was my ex, Yoongi. He was wasted that night. I should have understood and kept quiet. Instead I let my emotions take control of me and shouted at him, causing him to break the empty wine bottle right beside me. Pieces of glass flew to my face. I wasn’t badly hurt. But I was scarred inside. A scar, I knew, would never heal.

I remain silent. I wish I had done that before Jungkook’s anger rose to the point of hitting me.

Jungkook seems to have come back to his senses. He steps toward me, “y/n,” he whispers. I step back. Jungkook’s voice cracks up as he speak, “Are you going to leave now that I’ve done that to you?”

Yoongi, too, had come to me once he was sober. That day, I saw him crying for the first time. He had begged me to stay. He told me, “I’m not what you think I am.”

I answer to Jungkook the same reply I had given Yoongi that day.

“I can’t love someone I’m afraid of.”

*************************************************

My Masterlist

Note: I don’t know why I keep thinking about such violent scenarios. Personally, I don’t think Jungkook and Yoongi could do such an act. But I had to imagine someone before I make a scene on my mind. Them being my biases, automatically came to my mind first. Forgive me, lord. Forgive me, Jungkook and Yoongi.

Sweet Morning

Fandom: BTS Pairing: Min Yoongi x Female Reader

It seemed like I had one of the worst weeks possible. With loads of work on hand, I barely spend any time with Yoongi for the past few days. Being a workaholic, he didn’t have time for me either.

I was having disturbed sleeps. I would keep waking up every now and then hearing the slightest noise. And again, work for the whole day at a stretch without much scope for a nap.

Today, it was different. I was finally able to had a nice long sleep at night. The one that make you feel refreshed and I dare say, happy afterwards. But the most beautiful part of my morning was waking up. Opening my eyes, the first thing I saw was Yoongi’s smile.

“Slept well?” he asked while gently resting his hand on my head.

I nodded sleepily, an automatic smile coming to my face as his hand ran down to my cheek.

“I was watching you for a while. You were sleeping like a baby.”

“Yeah,” I said, “It was a good one after quite some time.”

“Now, get up quickly. I made breakfast.”

Leaving a soft kiss on my forehead, Yoongi went straight to the kitchen.

My Masterlist

Christmas Special Fluffs

Fandom: BTS Pairing: OT7 x Female Reader Genre: Fluff Notes: It’s a collection of Christmas special one shots of each member in different situation with the reader (not poly). I know, I’m late. A lot of things were going on and I couldn’t manage to write. Sorry about that. Anyway, a very late Merry Christmas to you all...

Sweet Sorry - Kim Namjoon

My already messy apartment now looked messier than ever. As I looked at my tired boyfriend on the couch, I regretted to have agreed to his plan of decorating my place for the Christmas.

“Ugh” Namjoon groaned, “my back hurts so much.”

“Don’t forget that it was all your idea.” I reminded him.

Namjoon shook his head, “I didn’t think your place was such a trash.”

“Well, you can’t blame me.” I shrugged my shoulders, “At least, I warned you.”

I sat down beside him and put my head on his lap. I could feel that my body ached too. Namjoon started to play with my hair. It was one of his favorite things to do.

I looked up at him, “Or we could stop if you want.”

“No, darling!” Namjoon smiled, “Like I had promised, we’re going to make this place look like a heaven.”

And we were back at work; dusting and cleaning the floors, walls, ceilings, windows, arranging the misplaced items, collecting the dirty laundry from different corners of the house, putting the books back to the shelves etc.

A short break. Then, we started to work on the decorations. It was my first time decorating a house for Christmas and my excitement was too much. We made the bed with white and red bed sheets, put different flowers and wreaths all around the place and hung special items on the wall.

Finally, it was time for the best thing among all, decorating the Christmas tree. We put on the fairy lights around it, hung little gingerbread men and other cute items on it and lastly, we needed to put the biggest star on top of it.

“It’s too high. I can’t reach it.” I said, “And also, I don’t have a ladder.”

“But you have me.” Namjoon said with a smile.

I thought he meant to do the job himself as he was much taller than me. But instead, he lifted me up, holding me firmly by my waist. His cheesiness was making me blush. I still managed to set the star in the perfect place.

Taking a look around the place, I was really satisfied with the result. My place had turned to a whole different one. It looked like a heaven indeed. But as soon as my eyes rested on the tree, I frowned.

“Something’s missing.” I said.

Namjoon looked at it’s direction, “What?”

“Of course,” I gasped, “the glass baubles.” I facepalmed myself to have forgotten about my favorite piece of decoration. I looked at Namjoon, “Could you please bring it for me? It’s in my closet.”

Namjoon went straight to the bedroom. As he was returning with the box full of red and white glass baubles on his hands with a smile that showed his dimples, I remembered just how much I loved him.

But the next thing he did was tripping and falling to the floor along with the box full of red and white glass baubles. The smile that had grown on my face earlier disappeared within a second as I heard the glasses being shattered inside. I remembered just how much I hated his clumsiness sometimes.

“I’m so...” Namjoon began but I cut him off.

“Don’t speak.” I said boldly. “It’s done anyway.”

I raged out of the living room and sat down on my bed. I realized I was very exhausted by all the works I had done this evening and I just wanted to sleep. I tried to clear my head. I didn’t want to think of the disaster that just happened.

I could hear Namjoon cleaning up the mess outside. It sort of broke my heart. Minutes later, he peaked into my room. I still couldn’t bring myself to say anything. He came to sit beside me and said, “I’m sorry.”

“I know.” I answered.

He placed a soft kiss on my cheek and said again, “I’m sorry.” It was one of my favorite things that he did. I still didn’t budge.

He kissed me once again and said, “I’m really sorry, darling.” He was whining like a little child at this point. And I couldn’t help but laugh. Namjoon’s worried face beamed with relief.

“Alright!” I said, “I think we can go one Christmas without glass baubles.”

Grandma’s Special Recipe - Kim Seokjin

I was weeping for the past few minutes as the nostalgia of my childhood hit really hard. Earlier I had found an old diary of my grandma while cleaning the house. There weren’t much personal but more like important business stuffs written on it.

But among them, I had found my grandma’s recipe for making the famous gingerbread house we used to make every Christmas. Reading that reminded me of my late grandma and our memories together. I couldn’t help but cry at the sudden overwhelming feeling in my heart.

My fiancé, Jin, came back from work at that time. As soon as he saw me he called, “Jagi!” I quickly wiped away the tears and tried to smile at him. I didn’t mean for him to see me like that.

He held me in his arms and asked, “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah!” I sniffed, “I’m fine.”

“What is it, jagi?” He looked at me again, trying to read my face. Then he suddenly gasped, “Oh my God!”

I looked up at him in confusion. He beamed with sudden joy and asked the dumbest possible question, “Are we going to have a baby? Are you pregnant?”

“What? NO!” I was shocked at his stupidity, “It’s just that I found my grandma’s diary and it reminded me of her.”

Jin just replied with an “Oh!”

I went back to my bed and held up the page of the recipe for him to see. He took the diary from me and checked it. The recipe was cut out from an old newspaper and there were hand written notes of my grandma everywhere, making changes where she had thought was necessary.

Jin let out a chuckle and said, “Jagi, this sounds like a lot of fun. We should try it this Christmas.”

I was so glad to hear that. “Really?”  I asked, “Do you think you can do that?”

“Of course!” Jin said with confidence, “Though I won’t say it will be exactly like your grandma’s one. But I will do my best.”

Even though I wasn’t very good at baking, I still tried to help Jin in every possible way. I bought the groceries myself and prepared all the necessary utensils needed for the procedure. I also promised Jin that I would do the dishes once everything was done.

Jin started to work, yelling me orders in between. But my mood was too good to be ruined by his little insults. I worked rather enthusiastically. I stirred the mixture on the stove, batted the dough, cut the little doors and windows, even helped Jin with the icing.

After hours of much works, it was done. The house had been decorated perfectly. It looked almost like my grandma’s. I clicked a picture before cutting the gingerbread house. At first bite, the smell instantly reminded me of older times, though the taste wasn’t exactly the same.

“What do you think?” Jin asked curiously.

“It’s great.” I nodded, “Thank you so much for doing this.” I wrapped my hands around his neck. “Tell me what can I offer you in return?”

“You know exactly what I want.” Jin smirked at me.

I gasped, “You mean, a baby?”

Jin gave me a warm smile and spoke, “Nope. I want you to do the dishes, instead.”

Peppermint Love - Min Yoongi

“So tell me, why am I finding it out just now and that too, from Hoba?” I could hear Yoongi from the other side of the phone call. His voice suggested that he was really annoyed.

Basically what happened was this; Yoongi was delaying his Christmas plan, which was to be with his family, because I had no one for my Christmas celebration this year. Since, it was our first Christmas after getting together, Yoongi wasn’t very happy leaving me alone. But I had forced him to go because his family had been planning for a special party and it wouldn’t look nice if their youngest son was absent there.

But the worst happened. I fell sick the day before Christmas. It was a seasonal sickness for me but still pretty bad, as always, to handle. The fever and the blocked nose wasn’t making me feel very Christmas in my lonely hours. Still, I didn’t want to spoil Yoongi’s mood. So naturally, I kept my mouth shut.

“I thought I could trust Hobi for once.” I said, equally annoyed.

Yoongi sighed. “Is it too bad?” his voice was soft now.

“No!” It was definitely a lie since I could feel that a headache was also added to my list of discomforts.

“You shouldn’t have forced me to come to this party.” Yoongi said, “I would rather be with you.” Before I could say anything he already hung up.

As the hours ticked by I realized how terribly lonely I felt. Yoongi was in a whole different city and my own family was at the opposite side of the continent. I was also hungry but wasn't in a shape to make anything for myself. So, I called the Pizza place near my house and ordered my favorite one, the pepperoni.

The bell rang. I had to get up from the bed and slowly head towards the door. My whole body ached even at the slightest effort. But behind the door, I didn’t meet the delivery guy but my boyfriend instead.

“Yoongi?” I was surprised.

He shook his head in mere annoyance and hold up the huge bags he was carrying on both of his hands. “Let me put this things down first.”

He went straight to the dining room and put the bags on the table. I still couldn’t believe it. Yoongi had driven more than a hundred kilometers road on the Christmas Eve and he left his family to be with me instead.

Yoongi turned to me and said. “Let’s eat the food before it gets cold.”

That was when I hugged him right away. Yoongi let out a sigh and a few seconds later, he embraced me into his arms.

I was overwhelmed by his presence in my lonely state. I took in the warmth and his familiar soothing scent. The smell of his perfume mixed with the after-shave was intoxicating.

I finally let go and informed, “But I’ve already ordered Pizza.”

Yoongi smiled, “A little more food during Christmas won’t hurt.”

The table was set and the hot food served. We ate and talked and laughed and cried out of too much laughter. It was such a merry time that I almost forgot I was sick.

But my fever rose at the end of the night and I was curled up in my bed, shivering. Yoongi touched my forehead to detect the amount of heat and frowned. Then, he went to the kitchen to prepare something special.

Peppermint tea, something I never quite liked. But as I had a cold and the tea was warm, I accepted it rather gratefully. A soft ‘thank you’ left my mouth as I took the cup from his hands. Yoongi sat beside me and watched quietly as I sipped my tea. I wondered what I had ever done to deserve this.

Wrapped - Jung Hoseok

Shopping for all of them who were coming to our Christmas party was exhausting. But the worse was wrapping them in gift papers by ourselves. Since it was our first Christmas together after we had moved in together, my boyfriend Hoseok wanted it to be a special one. And hand-wrapped gifts sounded special indeed.

“Do you have any idea how long we’ve been doing this, Hobi?” I asked, a little annoyance in my voice.

“C’mon, goldie!” Hoseok said in the cutest tone, “Don’t talk like that. We should be doing this with joy.”

“Joy, my foot.” I muttered.

“Uh-uh.” Hobi did another cute sound effect while moving his index finger side to side, indicating I shouldn’t have said that.

I didn’t respond. Instead, I walked out of the living room to my bedroom. I waited for a moment to see if Hobi followed me. When I was sure he had gone back to work, I did what I had been planning the whole evening to do.

I hid Hobi’s Christmas gift, a fancy watch, which I had bought secretly from the shop today, in his closet. So that, next morning he would find them himself while I’d be fast asleep.

Then, I went back to work along with my hard working boyfriend. We finished them all by midnight and arranged them neatly under the Christmas tree. Wishing each other merry Christmas and kissing goodbye, we went to bed.

“Holly Molly!” Hobi exclaimed in the morning and I woke up with a start. “What did my little bumble bee bought without me knowing, huh?”

I sat on the bed and smiled, “Check it yourself, my little sunflower.”

Hobi opened up the present, giggling like a little child. His eyes were shining when he saw what was inside.

“Did you like it?” I asked.

Hobi beamed at me and said, “What are you talking about? It’s fabulous.”

Everyone was busy searching for their gift and opening them. There was a lot of chaos among our family and friends. Watching them liking what we had got them, made me feel like it was all worth it.

“Hey!” Taehyung called me, “Here’s one addressed to you too.”

“For me?” I asked. At first, I was a little confused. But then, I realized that Hobi had planned to hid my gift among all the others. I took the small box from Taehyung.

Hobi hugged me before I could open it and whispered in my ears, “Merry Christmas, honey!” Inside the box was a ring. My head stopped working for a while. Looking back at Hobi, I almost teared up.

He was on his knees.

Sexy, Cutie, Lovely - Park Jimin

Christmas this year was full of snow. And there was no way we could step out of our house in this weather. So, Jimin and I had planed for a movie marathon night. Being the movie freak as I was, the job of selecting the best movies came to me.

You could imagine how pissed I was when Jimin started to act uninterested through the second movie. At first, he tried talking in between scenes. When I refused to join his unfitting conversation, he started to complain about how all the movies I chose were so boring, even though it was ‘Home Alone’ which we were watching at that time.

“You can go and sleep.” I said, “I’m gonna finish my boring marathon alone tonight. And I’m perfectly happy to do away with you.”

“What?” Jimin pretended to look cute while being shocked, “you’re abandoning me for these movies?” I gave a stiff nod and he started to whine and threw a tantrum like a child.

“Acting cute will take you nowhere, Park Jimin.” I stated flatly.

He put his head on my lap and said with a smirk, “But it took me to your heart.”

“Stop being a cringe and move out of the way.” I pushed his head.

After minutes of doing puppy eyes and pouty faces, when I still didn’t budge, Jimin walked away from me. But he was back within a minute wearing his night gown which I had commented he looked sexy in ages ago.

“What does it suppose to mean?” I raised one of my eyebrows.

“It means,” Jimin threw himself on the couch next to me dramatically and said, “I’m getting ready for bed.” The last word, he said in a whisper, clearly indicating the obvious.

I scoffed in reply and kept my eyes fixed on the TV. Jimin moved on the couch in a certain way to get closer and carefully snaked his hands around my waist. I knew what he was capable of doing to me. But I refused to give in.

I slapped his hand and said, “Stop bothering me.”

Jimin took away his hands, a frown growing on his forehead. Then, he walked away stomping his feet, muttering “Stop this! Stop that!” I almost laughed out loud.

After half an hour of watching the movie alone, I realized it was indeed boring. No offense to my all time favorite ‘Home Alone’ but I was missing Jimin beside me. I sighed and turned off the TV.

Jimin was already fast asleep. He looked like an angel in this innocent state of unconsciousness. I could look at him for the whole night and still wouldn’t get bored. I smiled to myself.

“My lovely Jiminie!”

You’re My Boy - Kim Taehyung

Apparently, five layers of clothes weren’t enough to keep you comfortable on a snowy night out on the street. I wasn’t foolish enough to have come out into the open at this time either. But unfortunately I had a boyfriend who was extremely stubborn. I knew, I wouldn’t be able to lift his mood up the whole Christmas if I didn’t come out to play with him in the snow just now.

So, here I was, struggling to throw a single snow ball at my childish boyfriend, who had been continuously throwing enough of them at me by which I could have built a huge snowman.

“Please!” I begged him as another ball hit my shoulder, “Stop it already. I’m so tired.”

Taehyung came running at me with a smile on his face. “You’re not fun to play with.” he tried to mock me.

“I know!” I huffed out, “Can we do something else? Something fun?”

Taehyung thought for a moment. Just before I could offer him to play a nice game of monopoly inside our warm room, he yelled in excitement, “Let’s make a snowman!”

“What?” I asked in disbelieve, “No way!”

But Taehyung always had his way. So, we were rather doing what he had suggested instead of what I had thought of even if mine was a rational decision anyone would have agreed upon.

Building a snowman was harder than it looked. I remembered to have done it when I was just a kid. Those times, I always had my sisters and parents to help me. The shapes were never right. Taehyung wasn’t satisfied with them at all and we had to rebuild it from the base every time.

Finally, we managed to make the perfectly symmetrical balls, the upper one half the size of it’s base. Taehyung nodded his approval and I sighed in relief. I was grateful that Taehyung let me do the most interesting works; putting the buttons, eyes, mouth and the carrot for a nose. I finished the final task perfectly and looked back at my boyfriend.

And there it was. The boxy smile. When my eyes stopped at his perfectly wide grinning face, I felt like the time had slowed down. The snow was falling rather dramatically. My surrounding suddenly looked more romantic than it did even a few minutes ago.

Taehyung looked at me and tilted his head in confusion. “Baby?” he called, “Why are you staring at me like that?”

I suddenly realized what I was doing. I chuckled and shook my head to let out those romantic thoughts away. I decided that the romance could wait. Instead, I let his inner child enjoy this rare moment for now.

First Mistletoe Kiss - Jeon Jungkook

Finally, the party was over and all the boring people left the house. When I had done my share of cleaning up, my mother allowed me to go to bed. I picked up my phone as soon as I reached my room and locked the door.

“Oh shit!” I swore. Five missed calls and a text! And all of them were from the same person; Jeon Jungkook.

Jungkook was my neighbor and I had known him for a year. I had liked him since day one. Little did I know that he had liked me as well until last week when he had asked me to be his girlfriend. Naturally, I said yes. But over the week, I got to know the Jungkook behind those doe eyes and bunny smile. He was quite stubborn and possessive in nature.

Five missed calls on Christmas Eve from him could mean disaster. I hastily checked the text.

“I don’t want to be that clingy boyfriend asking for attention when you’re having fun. So, I’m texting you instead. Merry Christmas.”

I got the tone of the message. Jungkook had a habit of always ending a text with calling me love. But he hadn’t done that here. Especially when it was supposed to be a merry Christmas text. That was not a good sign.

Since I had a pretty strict family, the fact that I had a boyfriend before I graduated high school was a secret. So, I checked whether my parents had already gone to bed or not before calling Jungkook right away.

“Wow!” I heard Jungkook speak, “You remembered me!”

“I’m so sorry. kookie!” I pleaded in a half whisper. “There were so many people. And you know my mother. She doesn’t allow phones in front of the guests.”

Jungkook remained silent for a while. Then he spoke again, “I wanna meet.”

“What?” I raised my voice unexpectedly, “You mean, now?”

“Yes!” Jungkook said, “Don’t you dare say no! I’m not going to bed without seeing you.”

I thought for a moment. Everyone was tired as hell. There was no way my mother would come to check on me at this time. I decided I would take this risk. “C’mon!” I told myself, “It’s Christmas!”

“Love?” Jungkook called.

“Meet me at the store.” I said, “And don’t forget to buy me Cheetos.”

Jungkook was waiting with a packet of Cheetos by the store door. A big smile spread across his face when he saw me. I gave him a quick hug and started complaining about how bored I was during the whole party and how much I had thought of him.

Jungkook kept on smiling and feeding me the Cheetos in between as I was too busy ranting about my misery. I stopped when I realized that Jungkook hadn’t spoken at all.

“Don’t keep staring at me like that.” I said.

Jungkook chuckled and said, “I can spend a whole lifetime hearing you talk.”

“That was cringey!” I said as I felt heat rushing to my cheeks.

“Look!” Jungkook pointed up to a mistletoe hanging above the store door. “It’s not every Christmas you get to stand under the mistletoe with your boyfriend by your side.”

I knew exactly what he meant. I was rather doubting if it was a coincidence at this point. The thought of Jungkook wanting a kiss from me sent a shiver down my spine. I looked down in embarrassment.

“Wait a minute!” Jungkook said, “Haven’t you ever kissed under a mistletoe before?”

“Actually,” I mumbled, “I’ve never kissed anyone before.”

A visible shocking expression spread on Jungkook’s face. When recovered, he cleared his throat, “Let me be your first, then.”

Carefully, he closed the distance between us. Then, he cupped my face on his hands and asked, “May I?”

When I nodded my ‘yes’, he gently kissed my lips. He let go and whispered softly, “Merry Christmas, love.”

My Masterlist

My Guardian Angel - Part 1

Fandom: BTS Paring: Min Yoongi x Female Reader Genre: Fluff and slight angst Warning: Age gap, running away from home, starving, lots of crying (I’m sorry but the mc cries a lot), panic attack, implication of abuse etc. Word Count: 2.7K Words Note: Since the reader is only 15 years old, I reduced Yoongi’s age to be 22. Please keep the age gap in mind before diving in to read. I must say there is nothing explicit in here.

Summary: You decide to follow a kind hearted stranger to his house in the middle of nowhere after you ran away from your abusive household...

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 [Complete]

*************************************************

I couldn't even keep track of the time. Who knew how long I had been sitting here all alone. The passers by kept throwing glances at me every now and then. But nobody really cared to ask me if I was okay or what I was up to even if my get up suggested that I wasn't a local in this place.

I had been observing my surroundings carefully. It seemed like I had taken my refuge in a complete foreign land. It was a rocky desert. It shouldn't be called a desert I suppose. Because there were enough plants to make it look livelier, at least to me. I was under a tree myself and secretly grateful for it because it was sheltering me from the heat of the sun. Even though it was winter, the heat had been bothering me since I had walked a long way to reach where I was now. Losing my energy completely, I collapsed beside this old friendly tree.

There was a grocery store beside me. People were going inside occasionally and coming out of it with huge bags. There might be a month's worth of groceries in them. Some of them would walk past me while biting into their snacks. It wasn't making me feel any better since I was starving for a whole day.

Even with the hunger, I was still dozing off because my body couldn't afford to keep me going any longer. That was when he came to me.

I heard someone clearing their throat. But I didn't bother to look up. Not gaining my attention, the person next to me let out a cough next. I looked up this time.

I saw before me a young man, probably in his twenties, carrying a grocery bag on one hand and a whiskey bottle on the other. He was wearing bright but dark blue clothes with a vest on. I noticed that his boots below the baggy black pants were a different shade of blue. All in all, I didn't like his outfit at all.

But there was something I couldn't say I didn't like. It was his hair. Bright fiery red hair. But as I checked out his facial features, I wasn't very glad that he had approached me. He looked really intimidating. Even the beautiful hair was making it worse.

I fixed my sitting posture as I felt a little uncomfortable around the stranger. To my relief, he looked away from me immediately but asked nonetheless, "where are you from? I haven't seen you around."

I didn't reply. So, he asked again, "do you have a home?" He then glanced at me once more.

Again, I remained quiet. He nodded his head as if he got the answers. "I'll just assume you ran away from your place. Seeing you in a state like this, it's most likely." He got it right. But I still didn't want to talk to him.

He leaned a little forward to me and asked in the most gentle voice, "Do you want to eat something? Are you hungry?"

The mention of hunger suddenly made my stomach growl. I nodded slowly. He tried to take out something that he had bought from the store earlier and a tangerine fell from the bag as he was doing so. When I moved to pick it up he went for it first and said, "uh-huh, that's for me." I immediately backed away.

Then, he handed me a sandwich. I grabbed it quickly and started to gobble it up. At that moment, the cold sandwich tasted like the best thing in this world. I couldn't help but let out a sound of satisfaction after the first bite.

He sat a little further from me and started to peel his fruit. I was done eating in a matter of a minute. He offered me a bottle of water. I took it gently this time and bowed my head to show him my gratitude.

He asked while feeding himself a piece of the tangerine, "How long have you been out and not eating?"

I noticed that though he talked with a heavy accent, his voice has a natural calmness. His ordinary questions sounded like music to my barren ears. Instead of answering, I kept staring at him in awe.

He looked back at me and tilted his head a little before saying, "So, you want this too?" He extended his hand towards me to offer two pieces of his little round ball of a fruit and I gladly accepted them, this time, with a little smile.

“I’ll get going now! I hope you figure out what you’re going to do next. Sitting here all by yourself won’t help you.” He said as he stood up and rubbed the dust away from his clothes.

I looked at him earnestly. I didn’t want him to leave. I wished he stayed a little longer so that I could get comfortable enough to talk to him. He looked down at me and said, “Don’t worry! I won’t advise you to go back home.” Then he muttered to himself, “I doubt if it was even a home.”

He looked back at me and said, “I hope you know the stranger danger rule already. That’s a good tactic that you didn’t talk to me just now. But I hope you won’t accept food from any strange man in the future. And don’t stay at a place long enough for people to notice that you need help. Get moving.”

Then he bowed his head a little before walking towards his jeep. He was going away. Suddenly, all the uncertainty regarding my future hit me hard and I started to panic. What should I do now? I had to stop him.

I jumped on to my feet and pulled my backpack on my shoulders before running towards him. He was about to open the door to his car when he realized I was behind him. He looked back with a confused face, “What happened?”

I cleared my throat to say, “I wish to go with you.”

His small eyes grew larger at my response. “Wha…what do you mean?”

“I meant what I said. I want to go with you. Where are you heading to?”

I knew I wasn’t the best judge of character. But I decided to listen to my intuition. Something told me that he was a guy (perhaps the only one) I could trust.

He shook his head and said, “Didn’t you hear a word I said? Don’t talk with strangers let alone get in their car. Are you stupid or what?”

His words sounded harsh enough to make my eyes prickle. I shifted on my legs and said quietly, “But I’m really scared. I don’t know what I was thinking when I ran away. I have no experience of the real world out here. I’m afraid something might go wrong. Please, don’t leave me alone here.”

“I know the world’s terrifying.” He said with a gentler tone than before, “I’m pretty sure you’re aware of it too. But I could be just as terrifying. How are you so sure to trust me, huh? Do you even know my name?”

I shook my head and asked, “What’s your name?”

He let out a frustrated grunt and said, “Just go away, please.”

I tried to smile, “It’s okay! I can just call you ‘oppa’!”

He looked at me as if I just swore at him. He shook his head again, opened the car door and got in. He signaled me to move away from his path so that he could drive. That was when I couldn’t control  my tears anymore. I stood there, looking at him while tears poured down my face like a waterfall.

His brows knitted together to form a frown. He closed his eyes, shook his head and sighed heavily. Then, he looked at me and said in a way that suggested he was really pissed, “Alright, c’mon! Hop in.”

I smiled and wiped away my tears as I ran to sit beside him. I pulled him into a hug and said, “Oppa! Thank you so much.”

“Aish!” He spoke while pushing me away, “Stop making a fuss.” Then he went on muttering to himself, “I don’t even know why I’m doing this. I doubt you're ever going to listen to me.”

And he was right to have doubted that.

"Don't ever call me Oppa. My name's Min Yoongi and you'll call me by that name only. Understood?"

"But I like Oppa more."

"And don't do that again. Don't hug me. I'm intolerant to touch."

"But I can't help it when I get excited."

“Don’t talk back like that either.”

“But I…”

I stopped myself quickly and nodded my head enthusiastically. I needed to show him that I could be a good girl if I wanted to. Yoongi didn’t talk further and kept his eyes fixed on the road.

I noticed that we were driving away from the small town of the desert to… well, it could be said that his house was in the middle of nowhere. It was a cube shaped small one room house with a large patio in the front. Everything around it clearly suggested that Yoongi lived here all alone. But nonetheless the place was neat and clean for a bachelor living here. The best thing about the house was that it looked like a place that could be called home.

My chest swelled up with overwhelming emotions. I was already in love with it all. I could never imagine living in a place like this. Not even in my wildest dream. But then, a sudden thought crushed my dream into pieces. Yoongi never said I could stay at his place.

When the car was parked, Yoongi got down quietly. I followed him to his house. He nodded at the big couch on the patio for me to be seated and I sat down obediently. I had to make sure he found my behavior tolerable enough to let me stay.

He went inside the room and there was the barking of a dog. I could guess that he was walking around placing his groceries at convenient places. After a long time, when the sun was almost setting down, he came out with food ingredients. The dog also followed him out.

“It won’t take long. I hope you’re not too hungry.” He said while lighting up the stove. I shook my head. He nodded and continued to cook.

The dog came towards the couch to inspect me. I smiled and patted its head carefully. The dog didn't retreat. Instead, it climbed onto the couch beside me. It made me laugh with its adorable behavior.

Yoongi finally arranged the hot food on the table. I tried to help him but it didn’t seem like he needed any. When everything was done, we sat down opposite each other. The smell was delicious. But I still couldn’t bring myself to eat. I needed to let out the uneasy feeling I was having.

Yoongi definitely noticed that I was struggling to say something. He didn’t start eating but didn’t urge me to talk either. Instead, he waited patiently for me to open up first.

“Oppa!” I stuttered as I said, “I was won… wondering if you’re going to… I mean let me…” I shook my head before stating directly, “Please, let me stay with you.”

“I think we can decide upon the matter after dinner.” he replied politely.

I shook my head again, “Just give me one chance. Just the one. I promise, you won’t regret it. I will be a great help to you. I’ll do all of your house chores. I can wash the dishes and your clothes. I will wipe the floor clean. I can learn to cook if you want me too. Please, keep me as a maid. Don’t send me away.”

Yoongi handed me a pair of chopsticks and said, “Eat before it gets cold.”

With a lingering fear in my heart I had to withdraw.

I got up immediately after Yoongi finished his food. I decided I would give him a demonstration of my will and the hard work. I started to take everything inside the house to the sink. Yoongi silently joined in to help.

“I’ll do the dishes tonight.” I announced and proceeded to get the job done as quickly as I could.

Yoongi didn’t complain either. He sat down on his bed and moved his attention to a comic book. I started with the small things like spoons, chopsticks etc and gradually took the bowls and the plates.

“I have years of experience in household work, you know.” I boast about myself. But Yoongi didn’t budge. So I said louder, “I’m sure you’ll find me a useful maid.”

Yoongi turned to the next page to read. I tried to joke, “Who knows, maybe you’ll have to start paying me for the…” I couldn’t finish my sentence.

The plate slipped through my fingers and shattered on the floor making a piercing sound. I froze in my place. Yoongi looked up from his book. The barking of the dog was deafening my ears.

“Oh no!” I thought to myself, “I had done it again.”

I saw Yoongi placing the book on the bed and slowly walking towards me. I tried to defend myself, “I’m so sorry. Please… Listen to me. I… I didn’t mean to. It won’t happen again.”

Yoongi walked past me. I saw his hand reaching the sink to grab something. I shrieked and fell on my knees. I shielded my head with my hands as I begged him to not hurt me.

“Please… I’m sorry. I… please.”

Tears streamed down my face as I paced to and fro. My head was still bowing towards the floor. I could feel my whole body shaking. I felt like I was going to throw up.

Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder and I jerked away from him as I yelled, “No! Don’t!”

“Hey!” I heard him say, “Calm down.”

I looked up at him slowly. He was kneeling down beside me. His expression confused me for a while. He didn’t look angry. What was it again? Yeah! Worry. I saw worry in his eyes.

I slowly raised my head to face him when the dog stopped barking. He spoke carefully, “It’s just a plate. You don’t have to worry about that. I’ll take care of it, okay?” He was moving a little closer to me with each sentence.

Finally, he reached to rest his hands on both of my shoulders. My tensed muscle relaxed at his touch. I leaned forward and he caught me before my head could touch the ground.

I sobbed on his shoulder while he gently patted my back, whispering reassurance that it was really no big deal. I tried to bring myself to say something. But my breath was hitched. It made me cry even more.

“Don’t say anything. I understand.” He whispered softly.

I wiped my tears away to look into his eyes clearly. I didn't know how I had believed that these eyes could hold rage. There was nothing but comfort in his deep black twinkling eyes. I knew immediately that I had made the right choice to have put my trust on the bearer of these eyes.

Minutes later. I sat quite motionless at one corner of the room watching him do all the work. Yoongi carefully picked out the pieces of the plate, broomed the place, did the remaining dishes and made the bed.

At last, he walked to me and kneeled down to say, “You need to sleep. You must be exhausted. Come.” He extended his hand towards me. Hesitantly, I took it and he led me to the only bed in the room.

Carefully tucking me in the soft blanket, he asked, “Do you want me to turn the lights off?” I nodded my head. He turned it off and walked to the door.

He stopped and turned to me. He looked as if he was deciding how to put his thoughts to words. Then, he carefully spoke, "Next time, anything goes wrong again, you don't have to freak out. Instead, you can help me make it right. Okay?"

My eyes started to get blurry. I barely managed to let out the words, "Next time?"

Yoongi replied with a ‘hmm’ almost inaudible to my ears.

Special 8 Photo-folio Masterlist

My Personal Masterlist

Tag List: @niverred, @aytenlii, @mmooggyy, @ttipa, @blubb7, @ezzie0861, @zshenbi, @bangtandoll20, @sparklingplumsoju, @dangerousbatfish, @harmony991721, @salobsarai, @un-requitedloove, @soifde-vivre, @bts-ruu, @ellaisreading, @jkkookie, @fannficblog, @minimoni-m, @kami20d, @2112sthings, @21ducklings, @nathchx, @scenesroland, @lottie395, @kittyscupcakeandbunny, @yourgirlcin, @ally-trash, @mia61313, @gggggg78hhh @zaenurath, @feetlicker999, @flowergirlpower17-blog,

Feel free to let me know if you want to be added or removed from the tag list...

My Guardian Angel - Part 2

Fandom: BTS Paring: Min Yoongi x Female Reader Genre: Fluff and slight angst Warning: Age gap, sorry but Yoongi spoils our little mc too much, nightmares, implication of abusive parents, running away from home, kissing (on the cheek), sickness, crying etc. Word Count: 2.8K Words Note: Since the reader is only 15 years old, I reduced Yoongi’s age to be 22. Please keep the age gap in mind before diving in to read. I must say there is nothing explicit in here.

Summary: You start to find happiness in the little things of your everyday routine bound life with the not-so-stranger in your shared home...

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 [Complete]

*************************************************

"Kitten, I'm home." A familiar voice greeted me from the outside while I was inside hiding beside the closed door.

My three most favorite words coming out of the mouth of my favorite person were enough to make even my worst day better. I tried hard to stop myself from giggling and giving away my position to him.

“Shelby, don’t!” I angrily whispered to our dog to stay quiet at her place. But she kept looking in my direction with her tail wagging behind her. I glared at her to stop. There was no time to bring Shelby beside me. Because I could already hear Yoongi opening the door.

And “Bwagh!!!” I yelled at his face right away.

“Ahh!” Yoongi sighed irritably. His eyes closed with a visible frown on his forehead. “How long will you keep this up?” He asked finally.

“Long enough for you to get used to it.” I replied happily. I wondered how stupid he could be for falling for the same old trick dozens of times. Nevertheless, this simple silly act made both of our days better.

As for most of my days, there was nothing exciting going on. Yoongi left everyday early in the morning even before I was awake. He always prepared both breakfast and lunch so that I really had no work to do. The only thing that kept me busy in this house in the middle of nowhere was our dog, Shelby. I would pet her, feed her, play with her and even talk to her from time to time to pass my lonely hours.

And Yoongi would be busy doing carpentry in the nearest town. He would have his lunch outside and would be home before it's too dark. His coming home was the time I wait for everyday since I started living with him. Because everyday I missed his presence beside me terribly.

As soon as he was home, I was happy again. I would start talking about how boring my day went and how much I missed him and what a new trick I had taught Shelby and what an interesting story I read from one of his old books and what a unique insect I had discovered outside and many more.

Despite being exhausted from his work earlier, Yoongi never complained. He listened attentively while doing his usual household chores with me. He rarely interrupted me while I talked but I knew for sure he was listening.

On a normal night, we would go to bed as soon as we were done with our dinner. But sometimes I would make a request to Yoongi to play the guitar for me. And he would be already on the couch ready to play my favorite tune as soon as I rested my head on his lap. Sometimes I would fall asleep and Yoongi would carry me to the bed without waking me up.

He let me have the bed for myself. It was too small for two people. So Yoongi would sleep on a sleeping bag on the floor beside it. I had asked him to let me sleep there instead since it was practically his house. But he refused and stayed firm in his decision.

Even with all the happiness that I never imagined I could experience, it would be a lie to say that I never feared losing it all. I often did. Actually more often than it could be counted as often. Every time I could hear Yoongi’s soft snoring through the quiet night, I would think about my life before him.

I knew that I was a burden on my step father who, after my mother’s death, had clearly shown me in every single way possible that I was unwanted in his house. But he was also very strict and possessive in nature. What if one day he decided that he would search for me?

I dreaded that my step father would find me somehow and all of this would be over. I would no longer be able to see Yoongi. I would no longer know what happiness truly feels like. I would no longer have a place to call home.

"Don't go anywhere far. I don't have the energy to look for you around the whole town." Yoongi yelled at me as I sprinted out of the grocery store.

"I won't." I replied louder as I went closer to one of my favorite places.

The gift shop.

It was a regular thing at this point. Every weekend, Yoongi would bring me with him to the town to do the week's grocery shopping and after that I was allowed to look through the cheap gift shop nearby. I would find something I liked and Yoongi would buy that for me in the hope of keeping my mood lifted throughout the whole week.

I walked around the small shop and carefully looked for the one thing that could bring me some comfort at times when Yoongi’s not there for me. And the little fox plushie, I assumed, recently came into the shop because I never had seen one here, caught my attention.

“Aren’t you a cutie?" I took the sleeping fox in my arms and cradled it slowly. I realized I had never had a stuffed animal my entire life. Not that I had always wanted one. But the sudden realization made me want to have a stuffed animal for myself.

I sensed Yoongi coming into the shop and I looked back, holding the fox towards him to see.

"So, you've already made up your mind, kitten?" Yoongi took the plushie from me to check it. But there was a frown on his forehead.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Umm... I think we can find something better than this." He returned the baby fox back to its family.

That was a really unexpected reply. Yoongi had never refused to buy me the thing I always chose for myself. I couldn’t even see any defect on it for him to say that. As he walked away from the plushie section, I took the little fox again and the price tag caught my eyes this time.

Hell, no!

"How come something that is too costly ended up at a cheap shop like this one?" I thought to myself. I could tell that my face went red from the embarrassment.

I should have been more understanding. Just because he said he'd buy me anything I liked didn't mean that I could ask for just about anything. That's asking a little too much from him considering how generous he was to me.

So, I picked a colorful key chain and showed it to Yoongi, pretending to be very hyped about it. He simply nodded and got that for me.

On our way home, I couldn't bring myself to talk like I usually did. Yoongi, too, remained too quiet.

The next weekend, Yoongi had to go to work. He said that it was the only time I had to miss going to the town and that he would make sure that it would never happen again. Despite the reassurance, I was kinda mad at him the whole day and decided not to talk to him when he came home.

He came home later than usual, called "Kitten, I'm home" as usual and asked me to put the groceries at the right places.

I, intentionally sulking at his presence, took the bags from him and got to work without any words. Judging by the heavy atmosphere that I had created around the house, he seemed to have understood how I felt. But he stayed quiet nonetheless.

My head was burning at that point. Maybe that was why I made unnecessary noises while doing the simple tasks Yoongi had assigned me to do.

"Oppa!" I couldn't help exclaiming as I noticed the small bag. I had been to the place too many times to know where it came from. And there it was. The little sleeping fox plush, waiting for me to embrace it in my arms.

I waited no longer. I ran towards Yoongi and immediately pulled him in a hug. Unable to say how happy he had made me, I kissed his cheek impulsively instead.

"Aish!" That usual sound of Yoongi whenever he was irritated or at least wanted me to think that he was.

But in a split second, his face beamed and he accidently flashed a gummy smile. Not to be exaggerating but it was a sight worth dying for. Yoongi's face changed, with that his whole demeanor changed as well. He looked like a completely different person when he smiled like that.

So, I had to say it, "Had I known it before, I would have kissed you all day and night, only for you to smile like that."

The only time I remembered going on a vacation was when I was a child and my father was alive at the time. We had gone to stay by the sea for a week. Even though most of the memories were faded, I could still see my father’s happy face in my mind sometimes.

This time it was the desert in contrast to the sea. Yoongi had planned to take a few days off from work and take me on a hike. I had never been so excited to look forward to something. We packed our stuff, got in his jeep and drove off.

The place looked so lively with many plants of vibrant colors. There were small and big mountains. The huge golden field stretched ahead of us. Yoongi parked his car at a side and we got off with our bags. After some hours of walking past the rocky mountains we found a suitable place to camp for the night.

I was excited at the prospect of sleeping in the open sky. Something about seeing the galaxy all night told me that it was a rare experience only a few fortunates could afford. I got another new reason to be grateful to Yoongi for the rest of my life.

“Oppa!” I called to check if he was already asleep since we had a long day.

“Hmm?” he replied.

“What does it feel like to look at the sky and you can see a part of eternity ahead of you?”

“Umm…” He thought for a moment before answering, “I don’t know! What do you feel about it?”

“I feel small. I feel insignificant. I feel…” I stopped and glanced at him, expecting a reaction.

He was still looking at the sky earnestly but hummed quietly at my response. It felt like I didn’t need to explain it further. Yoongi understood.

“Oppa!” I hesitantly called again, “Would you mind if I ask you something?”

“Ask away!” He shot me a pretending-to-be-annoying look and turned back to the sky.

I gulped before asking, “Why do you live alone?”

“For peace.” He sighed.

“I don't think I understand.”

Yoongi stayed quiet for some time and I felt like I shouldn’t have pushed the boundary. So, I turned on the other side and closed my eyes.

As I was dozing off, I could hear Yoongi’s deep soothing voice. He talked as if he was living the memory that he was speaking of. My tired eyes couldn’t cooperate. But my ears were all awoken.

“I was about your age, kitten, when I ran away from my parents seven years ago. Until now I never regretted that decision even though there were times I actually missed them. Because it was the only way i could bear to live with a sane mind. Solitary life offers you a kind of peace you wouldn’t know you needed until you can experience it. But…”

He stopped suddenly. I wanted to ask him to continue. I wanted to know what could be the ‘but’ when he himself said that he didn’t regret it. Apparently I didn’t need to. Because Yoongi spoke the rest of the words in a muffled voice as he fixed his posture to a comforting sleeping position.

“I never realized that it was happiness that I lacked in my life apart from peace. That was until I met you.”

His words kept me up through most of the night.

The next morning, it turned out I had a severe dust allergy. So, I woke up with a swollen face and a tight throat. The horror in Yoongi’s eyes as he realized something was wrong with me was another new thing I discovered his neutral face could do.

My feet were blistered from walking in the heat last day. So, after walking almost half of the way, Yoongi had to give me a piggyback ride until we reached his jeep.

I rested my head on his shoulders as he walked slowly carrying my weight on his back. And I spoke quietly in his ears.

“It was the same for me too, Oppa. I realized I can finally rely on someone without having to feel like a burden.”

I could hear the usual sound of the car being parked outside. I sprinted out of my room in no second to greet Yoongi. But instead I saw the man I was the most scared of before me. It was my step father.

“Long time, no see, huh?” He grinned at me with his disgusting rotten teeth.

“H… how d… did you find me?” I stammered as I took a step back.

“C’mon, now! Is that the way you greet your father?” The man began to walk towards me.

“Stop!” I yelled. “You’re not my father.” I wanted to scream it on his face but couldn’t bring myself to do so.

“Quit the game. It’s time to go home.” He quickly grabbed onto my wrist before I could turn back to run.

“Let go of me.” I screamed. “I’m not going anywhere from here.”

No matter how much I screamed or pleaded, he seemed to take no notice of that. He kept dragging me towards his van. I tried hard to fight him. But he was way too strong.

“Oppa!” I tried calling for Yoongi in vain. I knew he wouldn’t be able to hear me. He was miles away at work. He didn’t even know anything about the existence of my cruel step father.

As soon as he threw me inside his van I tried to get up and escape. But he grabbed onto my hair and pulled me back inside. I screeched my lungs out as a sharp pain ran through my head.

I woke up panting and drenched in sweat. I must have screamed in real life because Yoongi was already beside me, trying to read from my face just how bad of a nightmare I had.

I tried to speak but my breath was hitched, as always, whenever I cried. Yoongi moved a little closer and I threw myself at him, hugging him by his neck and sobbing loudly on his chest.

My grip on him tightened as he tried to move. I couldn’t let him go from my sight. I couldn’t let my nightmare come to reality.

Yoongi hugged me back and stayed that way for quite some time before whispering softly in my ears.

“Kitten!” He said, “I’m not going anywhere. Just give me a minute, okay?”

I sniffed and nodded my head as I released my hold on his neck. Yoongi went to the patio and came back quickly with his guitar. I tilted my head to the side in confusion.

Yoongi started to play a soft tune. It was a new one. I hadn’t heard him playing it before. I grabbed a pillow and leaned on the side of the bed. Then I closed my eyes to absorb the music. I noticed that it made me feel relaxed within a minute and I was able to speak again. He really knew how to calm me down.

Something that I had come to notice was that Yoongi never talked unless he knew for sure I was ready to speak again. So I had to make the first move. And I calculated just what to ask for in my head before I spoke.

“Oppa! I have a favor to ask for.” I stated quietly. I knew Yoongi wouldn’t be able to refuse.

He stopped the music and looked towards me. I said, “Can you please lie beside me until I sleep? Just tonight? I swear I won’t ask again.”

Yoongi closed his eyes and shook his head in frustration, “Aish! This girl and her whining. Yah!” He scolded me, still speaking softly though, “Don’t you think I’m spoiling you a little too much? You’re always asking for favors. How old do you think you are?...”

His rant went on about as much time as it took for him to make the bed. Then he lied in the corner, making an irritated face. I smilingly joined him without a word. Even though he would say that he didn’t like to be touched, he was undoubtedly the best cuddling partner one could ever wish for.

Special 8 Photo-folio Masterlist

My Personal Masterlist

Tag List: @kpopppy,  @mimislovee,  @cutubabyyy,  @pinnk-bvnny,  @just1xn,  @take-u-2-an0ther-w0r1d,  @mamamobluehaypka,  @moonyoon5839,  @laisalia,  @rabreu1414,  @fqky,  @miaaa1122,  @legendarydreamqueen

Feel free to let me know if you want to be added or removed from the tag list...

My Guardian Angel - Part 3 (Final)

Fandom: BTS Paring: Min Yoongi x Female Reader Genre: Angst Warning: Age gap, mc being a brat, traumatic past, mention of abusive household, a little depressing, I’m sorry it ended this way. Word Count: 2k Words Note: Since the reader is only 15 years old, I reduced Yoongi’s age to be 22. Please keep the age gap in mind before diving in to read. I must say there is nothing explicit in here.

Summary: When things are bound to fall apart, You find out how powerless you are to the destiny...

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 [Complete]

*************************************************

I was beyond angry. Yoongi just informed me that today was the last day in town for me till next month. He was going to be working on the weekends as well with only a day off per month. That meant, no more coming to the town for grocery shopping.

"But I won't forget to buy you a present, kitten. Also you can buy more than one thing when you're coming to the store yourself once a month."

"I don't want your stupid gifts." I angrily said, "I want you. At least, on a weekend."

"Kitten," Yoongi sighed, unable to deal with my raging state, "I'm sorry. You see, it's not something that I can control."

"Fine." I yelled, "get out of my sight. I'm not going home with you."

"Kitten…" He tried to speak but was interrupted by a lady.

"Is everything alright, dear?" The question was directed toward me.

"Yeah, everything's fine. We're just having a discussion. Thank you." Yoongi dismissed her concerns which seemed to be irritating her somehow.

"Are you sure you're alright?" She asked me again. When I nodded my head the lady further asked, "Who is he? Do you know him?"

"Excuse me!" Yoongi said, "I don't see why you need to know that."

The lady still asked me without bothering to look at him, "is he threatening you?"

"What?" was Yoongi's reply.

I shook my head. Then, the lady turned to Yoongi and said, "Sir, I'm very concerned about this child. Please state your relationship to her."

"That's none of your business." Yoongi answered bitterly. He grabbed my wrist and walked straight to our car.

"Sir…" the lady called from behind but we simply speeded our walk and got in the car.

I wanted to apologize for reacting like that in the store earlier and for gaining unwanted attention. Somehow I couldn't manage to do it as I felt a growing lump on my throat.

Yoongi, on the other hand, looked disturbed. I wasn't sure if it was because of the lady or myself.

In the evening, I sat on the bed while Shelby lay beside me. She stayed too quiet as if she understood the dull atmosphere of the house. I ran my hand through her. She moved closer to me and relaxed in a more comfortable position.

Yoongi was cooking outside. I dared not to go to him at the moment. I felt that something wrong was going to happen and I dreaded its arrival. I tried to plan the best way I could apologize to lift his mood. After all, it was my fault that the day went to ruin.

Then I heard a car being pulled up outside. I froze.

Could it be…

I peeked through the window and got a glance of a police car. “Why are the police here?” I thought to myself. Unconsciously I started biting my nails.

I could sense that Yoongi was talking to them outside. A dull ache was twisting within my stomach.

After a few minutes, Yoongi came inside, his face unreadable. He spoke quietly, “Kitten, you need to come out for a moment. Here’s an officer to meet you. Please talk to him nicely.”

I nodded slowly and, almost in daze, walked outside. The man in a police uniform greeted me. He asked me to sit down. After we’re both seated at the patio, the officer asked Yoongi to leave us alone.

“No!” I immediately opposed it. “He’ll stay.”

Yoongi said, “I won’t interrupt, sir. I’ll just stay beside her so that she doesn’t feel too nervous about this whole situation.”

The officer nodded and turned to me. He said that he had to ask me some questions and I was required to answer them honestly. I needed not to be  scared. When I approved, he proceeded to ask me where I came from, who was my guardian, what happened that made me run away from home, how I met Yoongi, how long had I been living with him, if I considered him to be a dangerous man etc.

I answered him truthfully. I told him how abusive of a man my step father was. I told him all the evil things he had done to me. I told him how my life was a living hell before I met Yoongi.

Every now and then, whenever I faltered in between, Yoongi would softly squeeze my hand. It was hard for me to bring up the nasty past. But I had to do it. I had to convince the police that it was my own decision that I ran away and still my own that I stayed with him.

Finally, the police said that I could go. Yoongi took me inside and whispered to me, “you did bravely, kitten.”

Then, he went out to have a last chat with the police. I waited patiently and prayed that the man would leave us soon.

The man, to my horror, did not leave us soon. In fact they were talking for so long that my anxiety got the best of me and I had to eavesdrop from inside the door.

Luckily, they were talking loudly enough for me to hear them. Unluckily, it sounded as if they were arguing over something.

Yoongi's voice was deadly, something I never heard before, "you heard everything!"

"I know, I know," the officer spoke in a frustrated manner, "But what you're asking is against the law. I can even arrest you right now for keeping her for so long without any legal rights over her."

"Will you?" It wasn't even a question. Yoongi said it as if he knew the police won't do that.

"Yoongi," the man spoke softly, "I know you very well. I know what you've been through. I also know from how you're treating her that you truly care for her. I still ask you to give it a rational thought. She doesn't belong here."

"What do you mean by here?" Yoongi argues further, "she clearly loves this place."

"She might love the place. I only meant she doesn't belong with you. She deserves a family."

Yoongi looked him dead in the eye and said, "I'm not letting her go back to that monster, you hear me!"

At this point, I was really getting scared. I didn't know if it was because of the idea that I might have to go back to my stepfather or about the fact that Yoongi was so mad, which was really unlikely of him.

"I assure you. She's never going to see him again. We're gonna call the social service. They'll arrange a nice Foster home for her."

"Oh, shut up!" Yoongi retorted, "I know how those Foster systems work. She might never be adopted. Especially at this age."

"At least, she'll have a chance for a real family. This is only for her own good."

"I don't trust anyone."

"You know you're only saying that because you don't want to lose her, right?"

Something about this confrontation with the police made Yoongi go silent. He didn't reply. It neither looked like he's going to argue any longer.

After the brief moment of silence, it almost took my utmost willpower to stay put at my place and not run straight to them begging Yoongi to say something in my favor, the police finally spoke.

"I'll give you tonight to say a proper goodbye. But I'm coming back tomorrow, along with the social service. I hope you won't resist, then. Otherwise, you're gonna be in trouble, I tell you."

The man finally left without waiting for a reply.

"I heard everything." I said after waiting for a minute for Yoongi to settle in bed. When he looked like he wasn't going to say anything back, I proceeded further. "I'm sorry I made a scene at the shop. I know it's all my fault. Oppa, please, don’t stay mad at me."

Yoongi finally looked back at me and said, "rules are rules. I don't have any control over this situation. They're gonna be here tomorrow and you'll have to go."

"Oppa!" I yelled at him. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He was giving up on me. He wasn't fighting to keep me anymore.

On the verge of tears, I asked, "Are you punishing me for what I did earlier?"

"No!" Yoongi stood up from the bed and came towards me, "You know, I'll never punish you for anything."

"Then, why are you doing this to me?"

"It's for your own good, kitten. Out there, you can at least dream for a new home. A new family. Here, you have nothing to even dream about."

"But you are my home."

I took a step forward and rested my head on his chest. "You're the best thing that I can ever wish for. You are my only family."

Yoongi slowly shook his head. He pushed me away by holding me by the shoulders. He made me look into his eyes and spoke very politely.

"It wasn't me who saved you but the other way around. You showed me everything that my life was lacking. Thanks to you, I felt like I truly lived. No, kitten. I can't be so selfish to keep you in this boring life of mine and take advantage of you like that. You deserve a chance in life. Unlike mine, you have a whole future ahead of you."

I couldn't understand what was going on. How suddenly everything changed in Yoongi. How willingly he was pushing me away.

"But I don't want to go."

"You're too young to understand that."

As I opened my mouth to argue further, Yoongi shook his head to shut me up. He said, "please, kitten, I want you to do better than this. I'm tired. I'm going out for a drink. Sleep tight till tomorrow."

Then, he went out with a bottle of whisky in his hand. I wasn't allowed to leave my room when he drank out on the patio. So, like always, I stayed inside. I stayed and cried. I cried on my pillow throughout the night till sleep took over my messy mind.

The next morning, we didn't talk much. We were just busy packing my bag. At one point, Yoongi came up to me with his guitar and said, "Since you love it so much, I want you to keep it."

I didn't say that the reason I loved the guitar so much was because he played it. I loved the fact that he played the guitar for me whenever I asked him to.

I decided to leave behind the little fox plushie. So Yoongi could have something to look at whenever he thought of me.

When I saw the car approaching from far away, I felt like I would break down anytime and cry. Surprisingly that didn't happen.

I scratched behind Shelby's ear and gave her the last piece of treat. I hugged Yoongi for the last time too. After that, without a fight I climbed inside the car.

As we were driving away, I thought I would take a good look for the last time at the place I called my first home. The place looked hauntingly empty. I looked at the familiar window, the front patio, our jeep, trying to take in as much as I could. 

My eyes finally stopped at Yoongi. His head was bending towards his feet so that I couldn't make out his face. I noticed that his shoulders were shaking.

I didn't need to try. Tears automatically flowed through my cheeks. All this time I had been at my worst, Yoongi was always there beside me, offering the warmth that I just needed. And the one time of him being vulnerable, I couldn't be there beside him, offering the same warmth that he had given me.

Special 8 Photo-folio Masterlist

My Personal Masterlist

Tag List: @idkjustlovingbts,  @lisabyers,  @a-sweetdreamywoman,  @yoongsexual,  @tatakaee,  @borareadsfic,  @sailorjoonies,  @futuresoffantasies, 

Feel free to let me know if you want to be added or removed from the tag list...

Noona! Please! Help! - Part 3

Fandom: BTS Characters: Younger Brothers BTS and Elder Sister Narrator Genre: A Little Dramatic and A Little Comedic Word Count: 1.1K Words Warning: Angsty (It’s me), mention of child abuse, self doubt, did I mention angst? Note: It’s a siblings AU story of BTS with the narrator as their elder sister. I tried to write something different from what I usually write about. I had fun making this. Hope it makes you feel good too. Happy Reading Everyone :)

Summary: Her little brothers can’t attend to a single task without her help. Be it a dance competition or asking out a girl for a date, they always seem to be finding everything too hard to go through without her by their side. ‘Our lucky charm’; that’s what they like to call her. But what if she turns out to be a misfortune in different situations in one single day?

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - More to come

Who Will Pay the Rent?

9:24 a.m. 1st September, 2015

“Just a few more minutes left.” Yoongi sighs heavily, “you could have easily saved the bother to come here, today.”

“What happened?” I ask, taking the empty seat beside him. “I thought you said that we’re winning today. What’s up with that long face?”

“It seemed like that at the first half.” Yoongi nods towards the field, “as you can see, the tables took a 180 degree turn.”

Honestly, I don’t understand a thing about basketball. It is better to just take Yoongi’s words as they are. I ask him the important question now, “how much do you owe them?”

Yoongi intentionally avoids eye contact and keeps looking at the match without a reply. I notice that he is sweating like crazy. I understand now that it is not just about the game.

“Don’t tell me you have to sell a kidney to pay them.” I jokingly say to which he doesn’t budge. I grow agitated. “Yoongi! C’mon, tell me what it is?”

He sighs and says, “It’s just worth my rent, that’s all.”

“Your rent?” I ask, “like for the month?”

Yoongi nods and stays silent. We both remain silent for the rest of the game. I wish I could offer to help him. It is most likely that he will not accept anything directly from me. I, on the other hand, am not in a place to help him either.

My phone vibrates in my pocket and I quickly take a look at Jimin’s message saying he’s going inside the exam hall right now. I write a small “good luck” reply and put my phone back inside the pocket.

Yoongi starts to stand up from his seat, “Let’s get out of here! It’s not like anything can change in the last few minutes.”

I nod and follow him out of the stadium. He asks me if I want something to eat to which I shake my head.

“Noona!” Yoongi says, “Stop worrying about me. It’s not like I’m going bankrupt or something. It’s just some stupid amount of money, that’s all.”

“So,” I start hesitantly, “who will pay the rent?”

“I’ll manage that somehow, Noona. I always do.”

Yoongi’s the one among us who’s the most desperate to make a lot of money. That’s why he goes into these betting games and all. I once heard from Jin that he had found Yoongi starving himself because he lost all his money on some games and Jin had helped him that one time even though Yoongi refused to be helped. I don’t really approve of his ways but who am I to stop him? I did not raise him. I don’t even understand his ways of thinking.

I still feel like I should advise him to stop this nonsense and try something else. Something permanent. He is a genius and I know he will be able to figure something out if he wants. But I also feel like today is not the time to lecture him on life. Not when he’s already so stressed about it.

I decide to head to my next destination. I am not going to leave Yoongi in this state. So, I ask him, “If you don’t have to be anywhere, will you come with me?”

“I can manage some time. Where will you take me, Noona?”

“We’re going to meet Jimin.”

Jimin’s exam will be finished at around 11 a.m. So, Yoongi and I wait for him outside the hall where there seems to be a huge crowd of the guardians of the other students. I mentally pray that Jimin will be able to outsmart them on his test today.

“I never understand Jimin’s appeal for education.” Yoongi says.

“I think it’s the same one as yours.” I offer an explanation, “Come to think of it. At the end of the day you both want to win at life. By elevating your status. Either with education or with money.”

“You know what, Noona?”

“What?”

“I hate it so much that you’re always right!” There is a faint line of smile on his face as he says the last sentence.

“Yoongi” I suddenly feel an urge to talk to him seriously. Yoongi barely talks about his real issues.

“Noona?”

“I’m asking this because I’m really worried about you, okay?”

Yoongi frowns, “I think I know what you’re going to say. I’m sorry for making you feel that way. I really am. I’m sorry, Noona!”

“Oh no, dear!” I quickly add, “You don’t have to apologize. I understand that you’re going through tough times.”

“Noona!” Yoongi looks at a distance as he speaks, “Do you remember ma’s face? Like, not the one as we see in her pictures. The face of her when she was sick. That face she had before she could finally rest after years of pain she went through.”

I don’t know why Yoongi is suddenly bringing this topic. Is he really missing ma all of a sudden or just trying to change the topic? Yoongi glances at me for a second and I can see his eyes glistening.

“If only I had the money, I would have taken a bus from school to come to see you.” Yoongi sniffs, “he wouldn’t let me go no matter how much I begged him to. Said it was a ‘waste of good money seeing some sick people’. I don’t think I can ever move on from the fact that I never saw ma and pa again after I left that house.”

“Yoongi!” I can barely make myself audible.

Yoongi never talked about the times he spent with our uncle who took him in when ma fell sick. Yoongi was only four at that time and he was the only one who never came to visit us occasionally during the five years when ma and pa were still alive. When I used to ask pa about it, he would always say that Yoongi was too busy with his school. I only got to see him first at their funeral. Only after Yoongi left uncle’s place for good when he was finally eighteen, we started meeting almost regularly.

“I’m sorry, Noona, I turned up this way.” Yoongi looks at me, his eyes bloodshot, “I didn’t really have an opportunity to be any better than this. Of course, I won’t use this as an excuse. I’m all grown up now and I’m trying to be more responsible. I swear, Noona, you will be proud of me like all the rest of our brothers one day. I will make that happen.”

“But I am proud of you!” I say, “I am proud of how strong you are. I am proud that after all those shits you went through, you still grew up to be such a kind and sweet soul.”

“Thank you, Noona! But you don’t really have to cheer me up.” Yoongi shrugs his shoulders, “I know me.”

“And I know you too.” I slowly move towards him and pull him into a hug, “I see you, Yoongi. I see you!” I slowly pat him on his back as I can sense him fighting the urge to hug me back.

< Previous || Next >

My Masterlist

Tag List:   @sophiatcha,   @lalavione1309,   @jwirecs,   @missmayaarmy,   @sarai-ibn-la-ahad,   @ayalies,   @karougirl123,   @juju-227592,   @coffeepurpleu,   @dreamerwasfound,   @wetfeline,   @phthao2406, @hoshi-is-ult-bbg, @bestloverstan,   @quixoticbittersweet,   @jwirecs-main,   @singukieee,   @l3aecon,   @bangtandoll20,   @gabcats5,   @latina-girl-18,   @kyuupidwrites  

GODLESS (teaser)

18+

trigger warnings: narcotics, abusive language, gore, harassment, fights, weapons, sex.

Summary: The thriving streets with booming businesses have come to a stand still. Curfews and police raids every few hours to seize any whiff of narcotics terrorised every person, regardless of involvement. The Upper Side lies unfaltering in their picket fences. In this induced borderline dystopia, in your cardboard box apartment you have found a strange joy in watching the actions of a tangerine-stealing thug.

Pairing: min yoongi x f!reader

what to expect? thug!yoongi, unemployed!reader, accomplice!rest of bangtan, warnings with the main story.

a/n: this is so fun

READ HERE

soon ;)

GODLESS (teaser)

18+

trigger warnings: narcotics, abusive language, gore, harassment, fights, weapons, sex.

Summary: The thriving streets with booming businesses have come to a stand still. Curfews and police raids every few hours to seize any whiff of narcotics terrorised every person, regardless of involvement. The Upper Side lies unfaltering in their picket fences. In this induced borderline dystopia, in your cardboard box apartment you have found a strange joy in watching the actions of a tangerine-stealing thug.

Pairing: min yoongi x f!reader

what to expect? thug!yoongi, unemployed!reader, accomplice!rest of bangtan, warnings with the main story.

a/n: this is so fun

READ HERE

soon ;)