Im So Tired. This Life Has Made Me Just So Damn Tired.

Im so tired. This life has made me just so damn tired.

Fears

I’m concerned that I can attribute some of my recent progress to being with someone else.  I worry this makes the steps forward I’ve made “artificial” and if she and I should ever split I would crumble and regress.

Hush.

I can't stand listening to people try to have dialogue about abusive relationships and why people stay.

The pseudo psychological jargon and the fake-sympathy-but-actually-condesending-as-fuck-tone they use is maddening.

What is this all about?

I don't know what has come over me but I'm feeling compelled to unblock him from Facebook. I don't want to talk, but I just want to snoop.

Nothing good will come of this. So I won't. But this compulsion hasn't hit me in almost a year. Why now?

Saw him tonight. On his new motorcycle.

We were in her car and the windows are very tinted. There's no way he could have seen me. But it still felt like he looked me right in the eyes.

Fuck.