Taste Your Whiskey Kiss | Jjk

taste your whiskey kiss | jjk

— pairing: boxer!jk x f. reader

— genre: fluff (?) | college!au, boxer!jk

— word count: 1.2k

— warnings: long-haired, glasses-wearing jk, annoying jk, oc still wont admit that jk is hot, jk is supposed to be a cs student, making out, mention of oral sex (f. receiving), this is plotless honestly i just miss boxer!gguk T_T

— summary: long-haired jeongguk is a menace. long-haired, glasses-wearing jeongguk is even worse.

— author's note: boxer!gguk is back at last! sorry for the (again) weird summary though. i wrote this in one sitting after that YTC in Busan episode came out and jeongguk blessed us with him wearing glasses :))) anyways. hope you enjoy!

— tags: @dunixxd

masterlist | boxer!gguk masterlist

“Glasses?”

You look up to accept the peck your boyfriend gives you as a greeting while he hums a confirmation, the object perched on his nose knocking against your nose lightly. It’s sled down his nose so much that he looks like a grandpa from your point of view.

“Since when do you wear glasses??”

“Since my mom decided that putting my eyes five centimeters from my computer screen is not good for my sight.” Jeongguk’s hand moves to his nose to adjust his glasses. “She said my codes would never work if I keep mistaking commas for periods.”

You let out a sigh as he takes a seat on his desk chair, his computer displaying lines upon lines of codes you’d never be able to understand.

“You could zoom in, you know, instead of doing a staring contest with the screen,” you say matter-of-factly, sitting cross-legged on his bed. Jeongguk spins his chair around just to give you a one-eyebrow-raise.

“And where’s the fun in that?”

The playful smirk he sports afterwards makes you roll your eyes, not getting why your boyfriend enjoys flirting with danger like that.

“Besides, I can’t see the whole code if I zoom in. Hard to see where it went wrong.”

“Yeah, keep making excuses until you go blind,” you frown as you look at his eyes behind the round lenses. “I won’t help you if you run yourself into a pole.”

Jeongguk shakes his head in mock disappointment. “That’s harsh, babe.”

“That’s your reality if you keep damaging your eyes.”

“Why are you suddenly so hostile? It’s just a pair of glasses.” Jeongguk runs a hand through his long hair, visibly getting frustrated with your elevated emotions.

“I don’t know!” Oh, you do know. “Just— get back to your codes. We can talk about this later.”

“I have something else to do later,” your boyfriend bites back with just as much fervor. “But sure, I can spare some time to talk to you about my glasses.”

He turns back around in his chair and you’re left to stare at the black wavy hair that curls around his nape as he types away on the keyboard.

Despite your denial earlier, you know exactly what got you so worked up like this.

It’s the same thing you felt when Jeongguk first showed up on your doorstep with piercings and a tattoo sleeve, the same thing you felt when he provoked you in the gym, the same thing you felt when he dyed his hair to your favorite color.

You hide behind worrying for his wellbeing when all you want to do is scream how hot he is to his face.

It’s truly unfair how your boyfriend manages to look so hot even in something as simple as a pair of glasses. A pair of prescription glasses at that, too. That combined with the long hair that frames his handsome face perfectly might just be the death of you. It takes everything in you not to pull him away from his coding assignment to tug at his hair as you explore his mouth with your tongue.

Your mind is reeling thinking that all of this is just because one single pair of prescription glasses. And the hair too, you guess, but it’s not like you haven’t experienced what long-haired Jeongguk is like in bed. (He made sure you know that he was a menace a few weeks ago when his hair only reached a bit below his ears.)

By now, you should be immune to whatever shit he’s going to pull, yet here you are.

Half an hour pass before Jeongguk stops typing and lets out a sigh, turning his chair around to face you once again.

“I can’t focus when I know you’re upset with me.” His tone is curt, like you being upset is wasting his time. “So talk.”

“You’re the one who asked me to come, then you blame me when you can’t focus?” you scoff.

“Didn’t think you’d get upset over my fucking glasses.”

“You’re only wearing glasses because you’re too stupid to think that exposing your eyes to such short distance to your monitor is not gonna damage them! You’re the reason why I’m upset!”

“Oh really? Isn’t it because I look too hot in these glasses but you have too much pride to say it to my face?”

You force yourself to sound firm in your one-worded response. “No.”

“No? As in you don’t wanna make out with me right now and fog up my glasses?”

“N-no.”

You’re wavering. It’s over.

“Okay.” Jeongguk shrugs. “I want to make out with you.” The stare he gives you is piercing. “So climb onto my lap and let me take those feisty bites I know you’re dying to give.”

It doesn’t take a second for you to leap off the bed onto his lap, crashing your lips to his in a mess of teeth and tongue. Feels like dejavu when you tug at his lip ring hard enough to make him let out a whimper of pain.

“Why are you so annoying?” you manage to say in between kisses. “If you wanted to make out you could’ve just said so from the fucking start.”

Jeongguk hums, hands on your waist to pull you even closer to him. “You’re more fun when riled up.”

You grab a fistful of his hair and yank hard upon hearing his reason. “Say that again and I’ll withdraw any form of physical intimacy for a month.”

“See?” He grins. “Feisty.”

“Fuck, just kiss me.”

He does, biting your lips and licking into your mouth and sucking on your tongue you can’t help but moan. It just fuels him even further to tighten his grip on your body and steal all the breath away from your lungs.

“Should I— fuck— put on the tongue piercing?” he asks when you roll your hips against his, creating a delicious friction between your bodies.

“No,” you pant. “That thing is— wait.” You pull away a fraction when you remember his words from earlier. “Didn’t you say you have to do something else?”

“Make out with you.”

His lips chase yours but you evade them, confused. “Huh?”

“My to-do-list. For today. Make out with you. Nothing else.”

You let him capture your bottom lip between his lips to suck and chew on like a kid would to a jelly while you contemplate the meaning behind his answer.

Once you understand, you deliver a harsh bite to his bottom lip, making him hiss (in pleasure or pain, you don’t care.)

“Yeah, babe, hurt me with your mouth,” he moans, but it doesn’t last long as he pulls away with another hiss.

“Ah, gotta take these off though, it’s digging into my nose.”

He slips the glasses off his nose, a faint red mark from where it pressed too hard on his skin. You move to place a soft kiss against the flesh, a stark contrast to how you’ve been kissing each other seconds ago.

“That’s what you get for being annoying.”

“Your kiss? Yes please.”

“Shut up.”

He dives back in for your lips, but barely a second pass when he pulls away again, making you groan impatiently. “For someone who wants to make out with me, you sure are pulling away a lot.”

“Just thinking,” he says. “How about I put on the tongue piercing and eat you out until you beg me to stop? Last time you only lasted three, let’s make it five this time, hm?”

You give him six.

a/n: i haven't written in 4 months so i apologize that this is bad hehe. thanks for reading! any feedbacks here will be appreciated :D

a/n: you = jeongguk, i = reader

You’ve been sitting down in front of me for hours, yet I just noticed that the tufts of hair under the grey cap you’re wearing are colored chesnut brown instead of the black I remember seeing beyond a year ago.

It’s insignificant, though, because your hair color changes in only three different shades: brown, very dark brown, and black. The cherry red you were sporting a few months ago doesn’t even feel real because you insisted to dye your locks back to dark.

Doesn’t matter what shade your hair is, actually, because all I can focus on is the way your eyes seem to twinkle more than they usually do, a little brighter despite the scary leather jacket you’re wearing. It’s a crime, you know, to be a paradox like that.

What tugs at my hearstrings is that the playful glint you normally have along with the grin you’re displaying to me right now is gone, and in its place, I only see genuine happiness and adoration pouring out like honey out of your eyes.

It’s a bit unsettling, in a good way.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

Your tone is uncharacteristically soft, completely void of the teasing lilt that seemingly never even leaves your mouth. Your grin dims to an even softer smile, making my heart clench because the softness is making me breathless.

I continue gazing into your eyes though, disregarding your sentence as the lights behind you blur to colorful orbs dancing around the corner of my eyes. Their glow reflects on your eyes, tiny specks of white and warm orange tinting the roundness of them.

I don’t know what goes on in your head, but your teeth make a reappearance as you stretch your lips to form a smile not unlike the one before, and tears prick the back of my eyes as you stare at me like i’m your everything and more.

Maybe I am your everything.

Maybe you are my everything.

I don’t know, but I know that no matter what,

I’ll love you all the same.

march 31st, 2019

masterlist | secreto

(i think) i'd have a heart attack | jjk

— pairing: roommate!jk x reader

— genre: fluff | college au, roommates au

— word count: 4.9k

— warnings: cheese everywhere like it's just cheese in written form, jk eats ssam like he hasn't eaten in months, they're both idiots, mostly oc though, angst on oc's part but eh what is new, (another) mention of iron man (sorry i love iron man (jk does too))

— summary: having feelings for your roommate is never not complicated, all awkward glances and (not-so) subtle avoidance. after weeks, you think you’ve buried them deep enough for your roommate not to notice. but jeongguk digs deeper.

— author's note: another shitty summary by yours truly but pls give it a chance ;-; also i wrote this back in 2019 and changed the pov so i hope it's not too weird or anything. of course inspired by jeongguk's twitter video when he was still actively sharing what he eats on a daily basis hahaha :D

masterlist

You unlock the door to your shared apartment with a sigh; you’ve been working on your assignment at the coffee shop near campus but was forced to come home when the battery of your laptop ran out and you conveniently forgot the charger in your rush to get out to class this morning. The assignment is due tomorrow morning, so you have no choice but to go home considering it’s nearing 10 PM already.

Stepping into the living room, you almost feel your blood boil upon seeing that the lights are on as well as the television, displaying your roommate’s Netflix home page, but there’s no one in sight. It’s not that big of a deal—at least he’s not leaving behind a used bowl or some unfinished pack of chips on the coffee table—but you figure it’s because he is the one behind it that makes your skin crawl in irritation.

You decide to leave the mess behind, let him deal with it however he pleases later. You intend to grab a glass of water from the kitchen but are stopped in the doorway to said room when you see your roommate sat on the bar stool, shoving a huge ssam into his mouth like he’s been starved for the past month. It doesn’t faze your more than his presence itself does.

“Oh, hey—where are you going?” Jeongguk calls out around a mouthful of lettuce, tone changing quickly from bright greeting to a confused one when you bolt out of there as if you saw a ghost instead of your roommate. You ignore him, opting for hastily going into your bedroom before locking the door to ensure your safety inside.

You almost jump out of your skin when there’s a knock on the door; no doubt that it’s Jeongguk. You know he would go after you, you know he would knock, heck, you know he’s home so why would you be so jumpy?

“Hey, are you okay?” Comes Jeongguk’s muffled voice from the other side of the door, concern clearly etched into his tone of voice. If this was months ago, you would be endeared by the way your roommate cares so much about you like this, but this is now and the sound of his open concern for you just makes you annoyed.

“I’m fine, go away, Jeongguk,” you try to let out in the most friendly tone you can muster right now, but you know your go away must make him upset despite the lack of bite in the way you let it out. You hope you just sound tired to him.

There’s a moment of silence as you just shuffle your feet around, restless in the way you worry you have upset Jeongguk in some way. You shouldn’t be acting like this, he’s just being his usual nice self and being a good roommate. If you keep this up he might find out and things will get messy.

“I bought extra in case you want some..” Jeongguk says, voice quiet with the barrier between you both, “uh, the food, I mean,” he continues when he realizes that he didn’t specify what it is that he bought extra of.

“Uh, thanks, but I ate earlier,” you reply with a lie, all you had today was that crappy sandwich from the coffee shop and you think you cannot have anything more what with the feelings nestled inside of you right now. You don’t know what to name it, but whatever it is makes you want to drop everything and just sit on your bed doing nothing.

Jeongguk’s okay from behind the door surface sounds slightly dejected, before you hear his footsteps, fading away along with his disappearance back into the kitchen. You let out a loud sigh, you can feel the beginning of a headache coming because you still have that assignment that needs to be done no later than 7 AM and you have to do it without the help of coffee nor food in your system. Going back out to fetch food doesn’t seem like an option because it would mean both seeing Jeongguk again and telling him that you lied about already having dinner.

As you change out of your clothes to a more comfortable one—pajama pants and a hoodie lying on your bed—you couldn’t help but think that this whole thing started because of you and your thoughts alone, Jeongguk having no business whatsoever in this newfound thing you recently discovered named feelings. Yes, laugh as you will, but liking your roommate seems inevitable because Jeongguk is just.. Jeongguk.

It isn’t clear when this thing actually started, because as far as you know, Jeongguk has done absolutely nothing different to show that he has some sort of attraction to you. He’s always been nice to everyone, laughs just as loud when he’s with you or any of his other friends, and that one time he had to stay a night at the hospital because Taehyung had a really bad fever proved that he’s always had that caring nature in him for those whom he cares about.

Still, you find yourself feeling funny inside whenever Jeongguk does something to you that should be normal for otherr people, like buying you food and asking you to eat it togetherr with him, letting you choose what to watch on movie nights, even lending his hoodie when it’s too cold without one in the apartment. Those things are mundane, friends do that, right? So why do you feel different?

To avoid any weird changes in your friendship, you decide to just bury these feelings deep inside of you until sometimes you even forget you have them. That only lasts until the next time you see Jeongguk and be reminded that this is the subject to your misery these days. You bemoan this fact only to your best friend Yojeong who somehow always has time to deal with your constant whining of he looks good today, what the fuck, I should’ve stayed in my room and not come out until the next century or something.

Maybe that’s why you unconsciously stays away from Jeongguk as much as you can these days. When you have a morning class, you’d make sure you go out of the apartment before Jeongguk even wakes up. If your class ends at noon, you would stay out as long as possible and would only come home when it’s nearing midnight to avoid bumping into him in the apartment. Thank God you’re both in completely different majors, so avoiding him in campus isn’t necessarily a hard thing to do. It’s a bit pathetic, but you choose to keep your sanity rather than losing it over your handsome and friendly roommate.

You do the rest of your assignment in peace, finally submitting it a few minutes past one in the morning. You stretche your arm above your head, suddenly feeling really tired after being hunched over your laptop for hours with your back leaning on the wall beside your bed. Yes, you do your assignments on your bed just because.

You really want to sleep right now, but your stomach rumbles in protest because that one crappy sandwich wasn’t enough to last you through the day, moreover with the assignment needed to be done. You know that it’s dangerous for your health if you forgo eating, so you open the door of your bedroom before stepping out to search for something to eat.

In your haste to reach the kitchen, you miss the fact that the lights in the living room are still on, along with the hum from the television that’s playing some anime with a low volume. You miss the movement from the couch, where Jeongguk quietly looks up from where he’s perched on it. You miss the way he follows you to the kitchen, and finds you rummaging through the fridge.

“The food is cold now, but I can heat it up for you,” Jeongguk says upon seeing you pull out the container from the fridge. You let out a gasp of surprise, accidentally knocking your hand against the top part of the fridge. You hiss while closing the fridge door, turning your head to shoot him a dirty look.

“Thanks, but I can do it myself.” You don’t mean for it to sound as harsh as it came out, and actually feel sorry that Jeongguk has to receive this kind of treatment from you when he does nothing wrong. Like you said, seeing Jeongguk just brings back the fact that you like him to the surface of your conscious and you hates being flustered when being around him.

You expect him to go away after that, but he does the exact opposite as he sits down on one of the bar stools, making himself comfortable. You curse in your mind, hands almost shaking with the sudden nerves that overcome you. If you’d known he was still awake, you wouldn’t have dared go outside of the safe haven you call your bedroom. Let you starve just until tomorrow morning if it means not seeing this guy’s face at one in the morning when your brain doesn’t work that well.

You feel numb as you robotically move the food from the container to a plate, putting the dish inside the microwave before punching the buttons to start heating it up. You lean a hip against the counter, fishing for your phone from the pocket of your hoodie just to give your something to do that doesn’t involve human interaction. Shaking, you open your chat room with Yojeong before typing furiously into the device.

im fucked

shit yojeong what do i do

i was tryig to get food

jeons still awake

he wont leave

you know how i get around him

im fucking shaking

shit

The microwave lets out a sound that signals it’s done heating up food, startling you because you were too focused on your phone to keep track of the minute on the device. Getting the food out, you place the plate on the counter, ignoring how Jeongguk is staring at your every movement like a hawk eyeing its prey. You’re just about to fetch a pair of chopsticks from the drawer when Yojeong’s replies come in.

yojeong: babe

yojeong: breathe first

yojeong: hes your roommate hes allowed to stay

yojeong: if you cant take it just stay with me

yojeong: okay?

you: fuck

you: he wont stop staring

you: at me

you: what if i accidentally blurt it out

You’re just in the middle of typing the word fuck when suddenly your phone is being taken out of your grip, before a pair of chopsticks is thrust into your hands to replace it. You’re too stunned to say anything, eyes looking up to meet Jeongguk’s dark ones. His eyebrows are furrowed, and you almost feel scared because it looks like he would snap at you the next time he opens his mouth.

“Stop playing with your phone and eat.”

See? He does snap.

Slowly, you sit yourself down on the stool while Jeongguk goes back to his previous spot; the stool opposite yours. You’re glad that there’s at least a kitchen counter to separate you both, because you don’t know how you would be able to breathe if he stays close to you for too long. His gaze stays on you though, and you curse this fact because apparently it’s still making it hard for you to breathe normally.

You quietly eat the food you heated up earlier, mentally crying and wailing when you realize that Jeongguk got your favorite from the restaurant. You don’t know how he manages to know, because you never really mention anything to him. Shit, can this boy stop doing things like this to you? It does things to your heart. Unhealthy ones.

You noticed that while Jeongguk plucked your phone out of your hands unceremoniously earlier, he didn’t do anything to it. He just locked it and put it face up on the counter, and you feel this sense of gratefulness toward him for still respecting your privacy.

“Why did you lie?”

The quietness in the room is broken by Jeongguk’s question, tone softer than you would like to admit you anticipated it would be. Though soft, it’s still got  a tinge of assertiveness that makes you feel slightly guilty for blurting out that lie to him hours ago.

Your gaze stays on your food when you shrug, answering his question with vague gestures which you hope he doesn’t question further. But deep down, you know Jeongguk is not one to take unclear answers when he’s serious like this.

“Hey,” Jeongguk says sternly, fingers gripping your chin to force you to look at him instead of your food. Your eyes meet, and you have to force down the gasp of surprise that’s threatening to spill from your lips. Not because of the sudden skinship, but more because despite his firm tone, his expression is anything but. Instead, you see some worry in his eyes that only confuses you rather than scare you. “Answer me.”

You stop chewing to control the sudden spike in your heartbeat, taking a deep breath through your nose to give your brain a bit of oxygen supply it desperately needs. Jeongguk doesn’t let you break eye contact, and you swallow with great difficulty to give him what he wants.

“I don’t know..” you let out quiety, cringing inside when it comes out in a whisper, “sorry.”

Though he doesn’t look satisfied with that answer, he lets your chin go, making you break eye contact as soon as he does. You clear your throat while looking anywhere but him, and you just realize that he’s wearing a pastel yellow t-shirt tonight instead of his usual black or white. This fact is completely irrelevant and you curse in your mind for noticing even the smallest detail about him.

“You’ve been avoiding me, haven’t you?” Jeongguk’s voice sounds again, this time with a tinge of sadness in his question. You look at him again just to discover that he has a small frown on his face, flawing his otherwise perfect face. You mentally tell yourself to get a grip.

You open your mouth to answer him despite not knowing what to say when Jeongguk stops you from doing so with a bitter chuckle.

“Yeah, I noticed. We’re roommates but I barely see you anymore. When I wake up you’re gone, when my class finishes early and I come home you’re not there, when I finish everything at night and come home you’re not home yet and no matter how late I stay up waiting for you, you always come home even later,” he says with a glum smile, and you are too stunned to reply.

“I end up just going to my room to lie restlessly, waiting for the sound of your footsteps to start appearing so that I can assure myself you’re home, you’re here, and the most important thing is; you’re okay and unharmed. Sometimes when I don’t hear you coming home past twelve, I ask Yojeong if you’re already home or not. It puts me at ease whenever I discover that you’ve been home all along, you just won’t come out of your room. It’s okay. At least I know you’re there.

We stop having movie nights, stop eating together after classes, stop telling each other about our days, we stop hanging out altogether. At first I was upset with you, but then I thought to myself, maybe I did something wrong to make you avoid me to that extent. I mean, you won’t push away someone without some reason, right? So I started listing in my head the things I’ve done that could’ve upset you. I even asked Yojeong about it, surely you’d tell her if somehow I made you upset, right? But she won’t tell me, I—“

“Jeongguk,” you call, voice strained with the way you’re holding your tears in, “it’s not.. you didn’t do anything to upset me,” you continue, letting out a breath. You feel really guilty now that Jeongguk has told you the past months in his point of view, you didn’t think that your lack of appearance in front of him would go noticed, let alone affect him this way.

“God, I’m really sorry if you think like that, but you didn’t do anything wrong, really..” you mumble out, hands covering your face because you can’t bear to look at his face in this state of guilt you’re in. Who knew that an attempt at sorting your heart out would cost you the exact person who’s the cause of all of this?

Jeongguk lets out a puff of breath, chuckling. “That’s good to know,” he says, “I figured, though, otherwise you won’t be wearing my hoodie right now.”

You have never whipped your head down so fast in your life, looking at the hoodie you’ve been wearing ever since you got home earlier. It’s his? No wonder it feels slightly bigger than your usual oversized hoodies, because if there’s something common about you both, it’s your love for oversized clothes, including hoodies. Now that you know it’s Jeongguk’s, you just realize that the hoodie smells like him, but because you’re so used to having his scent in the apartment, the thought that the hoodie is his didn’t even come to you. Stupid you.

“Oh my God,” you groan, covering your face again to hide your blushing face from Jeongguk’s eyes, “sorry, I didn’t notice it’s yours. I’ll give it back later.”

“No, it’s okay. You look cute in it.”

You drop your head on the counter because what the fuck, Jeon Jeongguk. You don’t just throw out words like that!!

It’s quiet for a while and your plate of food quickly becomes forgotten because you have a more serious issue to focus on; your racing heartbeat. You’re thinking of ways to shrink or disappear so you can flee Jeongguk’s presence in order to calm yourself down, preferably forever if it means escaping the flustered state you always seem to be in whenever he is around.

“Hm? You like someone?” What? Why would he—

You snap your head up to see Jeongguk looking at the lit up screen of your phone on the table. You snatch it to read the notifications that’s started to pile up on your lockscreen; it’s Yojeong, replying to your stressed messages earlier. A very late reply, considering you’re already a mess in front of Jeongguk.

yojeong: what, that you like him?

yojeong: i know you’re not stupid enough to do that

yojeong: but if you are

yojeong: dont forget me when youre happily kissing him

yojeong: hehe lub u babe

What the fuck.

You feel your face become hot at Yojeong’s messages, hoping to every deity that exists that Jeongguk didn’t have a chance to read beyond the first message. Yojeong might be your best friend and you might love her to death, but sometimes she can be a little shit that you just want to strangle her.

“Hey, are you okay? Your face is really red..” Jeongguk trails off, seemingly worried that his roommate’s face is like a ripe tomato.

“I’m fine, Yojeong just said some weird shit.” You put your phone face down on the table, fanning your face with your hands to get rid of the warm feeling still lingering on the apple of your cheeks. It’s already embarrassing that Jeongguk now knows the fact that you have a crush—though he doesn’t know that said crush is him—and now he sees you with a face so red you could rival that of an apple’s.

“About your crush?” Jeongguk inquiries, suddenly interested in this crush of yours, “Who is it? Do I know him?” he asks excitedly, but you are too busy being embarrassed to notice that there’s a slight downturn of his eyebrows, eyes losing their spark.

You let out a groan, hands stopping their movement of fanning your face because it doesn’t work in lessening the warmth. Now Jeongguk has decided to talk about this crush and you think your red face won’t leave tonight, so might as well leave it be.

“Come on, tell me,” Jeongguk prompts, fingers poking at your hoodie-covered arms, making you swat his hands away with a frown. He doesn’t stop though, instead pulling one arm toward him and continues poking it with his forefinger.

“Stop it, you don’t know him so it’s no use anyway,” you mumble, eyes going wide when suddenly Jeongguk lays his palm flat against yours, fingers eventually entwining with yours. Sure, you share hugs occasionally, but hand-holding is something entirely different, at least in your opinion. Maybe Jeongguk goes around holding his (girl) friends’ hands so this is normal occurence for him, you’ll never know.

“Would it be no use if I told you I like you?”

If your eyes were wide earlier, you don’t know what to call them now. As much as you want to believe him, Jeongguk is far more playful for you to just take his bait straight away like that. You thank your brain for still being able to be reasonable even when your heart is already beating out of control.

Controlling your expression from one of surprise to one of doubt, you pull your hand away from Jeongguk’s grip, heart clenching when his bright grin dims as soon as you do it. “You’re messing with me, aren’t you?”

“N—no! Why would I?” Jeongguk splutters the answer out, eyes going as wide as yours. “I thought it was obvious that I like you? I thought you avoided me because somehow you knew of my feelings and you don’t feel the same way?” He sounds as confused as he looks.

You don’t know who’s more stupid; you or Jeongguk.

“No it’s not obvious, Guk,” you let out a sigh. “You don’t treat me differently than you do any of your other friends—“

“Seriously?” Jeongguk scoffs, “babe, I don’t share food with anyone,” he continues matter-of-factly, but the thing you are focused on is the way the nickname rolled off his tongue smoothly, like he’s been calling you that all his life. It also makes your face heats up again, and you don’t know when the temperature would come back down to normal.

“I don’t share clothes either, and the fact that I let you wear my hoodies says a lot about my feelings,” he continues, lifting two of his fingers to list off the things he’s about to say, “I buy you food, I let you pick the movies on our movie nights—though the reason I do is because you also like Iron Man and the first person not making fun of me for that—heck, I stay up nearly every night just to wait for you to get home and I can only sleep after knowing you’re safe and sound in your bedroom.” He gives up lifting his fingers up, choosing to run said fingers through his hair instead. “I think Yojeong knows that I like you, what with the way I always message her asking about you.” Jeongguk lets out a chuckle, eyes going back to yours after running all over the room, “If that’s not obvious, I don’t know what is.”

You are left gaping at him, eyes blinking as you try to process everything that Jeongguk just said to you. It doesn’t help that it’s nearing two in the morning now, your brain functioning just a little slower than it does in daylight.

“But.. I thought those things you mentioned just.. I mean, friends do those, you don’t necessarily have to like someone to lend them your hoodies, right? And eating together, letting them choose the movies.. Guk, what the fuck?” As always, words fail you whenever you need them the most.

“Stop denying, babe, and just say it to my face if you don’t like me back.”

“Stop calling me babe,” you say around a pout that unconsciously formed on your lips.

“You called me Guk earlier and you usually call me Jeon or Jeongguk, it’s only fair that I give you another nickname as well,” Jeongguk retorts back, and after a thoughtful pause, he adds, “babe.”

You cover your face again for the hundredth time tonight, grunting in frustration because the nickname sounds really good coming out of Jeongguk’s mouth, you won’t mind being called that for the rest of your life. Reserved only for Yojeong and Jeongguk, though.

“Guess you already know that I like you back, huh?” you mumble out, face still covered by your hands, “I just.. never thought that you’d actually like me too.. like, I always thought it’s just me being too affected by the simple things you do, I thought it’s just simply me overthinking everything.. Why would you like me anyway? I’m not that pretty, I’m dumb, I say curse words all the time.. heck, Jeongguk, I never even buy you food.. what kind of friend am I? I’m really sorry..”

You are too busy rambling out that you don’t notice Jeongguk has risen up from his seat, going around the kitchen counter standing between you to stand directly in front of you, prying your hands from your face and replacing them with his warm hands cupping your cheeks. Your eyes are wide and your mouth opens and closes repeatedly like a fish out of water, your face is also still very, very red. Jeongguk thinks you’re adorable like this.

“Are you done?” he chuckles, thumbs stroking your cheekbones slowly.

You scrunche your nose, “not really, I’m still really sorry for being such a shitty fr—“

Jeongguk stops your sentence by slotting his lips over yours, pressing softly when he feels you freeze up. After a few seconds, you relax, and he lets out a breath through his nose before moving his lips against yours. You feel your head spin at the feeling of Jeongguk’s lips on yours, soft, so soft you could kiss him for hours.

After minutes just massaging each other’s lips, you pull away for breath and you have to push at Jeongguk’s shoulder to stop him from going forward, chasing your lips. You then smack said shoulder, making him wince before rubbing at the spot.

“What was that for?” He pouts, lips red and shiny. Shit, you shouldn’t be staring at his lips.

You glare, “that’s for cutting me off mid-sentence, with a kiss,” you smack his other shoulder, “and that’s for taking my first.” Now it’s your turn to pout. Despite that, you have to bite your lip to prevent a huge smile to spread across your face.

Jeongguk’s eyes are comically wide as he stares at you. “That was your first kiss?!”

You purse your lips in embarrassment, “don’t make fun of me now, you—“

Again, Jeongguk cuts you off with a peck. And another. And another until you’re almost giggling because it starts to feel funny but before you have the chance to, he’s kissing you so deep it takes your breath away. When he pulls away, it’s only from your lips but not from you because he trails his lips down, to your jaw, the column of your throat, until his fingers pull the material of his hoodie aside to allow him to mouth at your collarbone.

“Hey, hey, stop,” you hold both his cheeks in each hand, pulling him away from your clavicle only to see his pout right away. “Seriously, Jeon? I just told you that I just had my first kiss and you want to continue like that?” as if my face isn’t already red enough, you grumble under your breath.

Jeongguk’s pout turns into a grin, “Why not?”

You smack his chest for that, internally fawning over how hard his chest feels beneath your palm. You have to get used to this, don’t you? To Jeongguk being all over you, smiling that stupidly adorable grin of his, giving you kisses that take your breath away, doing things that just makes your stomach do that flip.

“I have a class at eight, that’s why,” you deadpan, reaching for your phone to glance at the time, “and it’s nearing three right now. We should go to sleep, Guk-ah,” you continue while grimacing, thinking of the lack of sleep you’re going to get tonight.

“Together?” Jeongguk says, excited. You give him a fourth smack of the night for that, holding back a smile when he laughs. “Come on, you cuddle up to me all the time when we watch movies together, why so shy now?”

You roll your eyes, “fine.”

You end up going to Jeongguk’s room, as per his insistence, where he tells you to change out of the hoodie and into one of his big t-shirts instead. It’s overwhelming, to be surrounded by his smell from both the t-shirt and the person himself, but you’re not complaining.

Cuddling on the couch with Jeongguk while watching a movie felt nice, but cuddling with Jeongguk on his bed feels even better because of the additional kisses he drops against your hair and temple. He gives you a kiss on the lips as a final good night kiss, before you both drift off to sleep in each other’s embrace.

a/n: sorry you had to go thru all that cheesiness, i didnt know where that came from either.. honestly. and its rushed toward the end alsjas i know it was nearing 3 am and i had a class in the morning SO. also fun fact: jeon placed his hoodie on oc’s bed lmao i wanted to include it in the story but didn’t seem to find the right time, heh. ok bye bye

secreto

“Nervous?”

The one-worded inquiry makes him blink, pulling him out of the trance he seemed to be in. The round of his eyes meet yours in the mirror, crinkling at the edges in a smile upon seeing one on your lips as well.

“Kind of.”

Your smile turns playful as you give him a light slap on the shoulder. “Didn’t know that’s an emotion you’re capable of feeling.”

He chuckles, but doesn’t deny it. Maybe he can’t believe it himself, because throughout the years you’ve known him, he’s never got nervous.

He’s always confident, diving head first into whatever he’s got his attention on at the time and trusting that everything will work out in the end. No second thoughts, no self-doubt, no what-if’s.

This time, though, you think he has every right to be nervous.

“You’ll do great, don’t be nervous,” you reassure him when you see the cloud of doubt still present in his eyes. “You’ll be okay.”

“Will I, though?” The smile he gives you is sad, and although he only said three words, you heard a thousand.

You pretend to take his words at face value, stare unwavering even when his own starts shaking. After one minute of silence that feels like forever, he lets out a whisper that breaks your heart into a million pieces.

"Is there really no other chance?”

The two words he purposefully left out ring loud in your ears, and it takes everything in you not to wrap your arms around him like you used to.

“There was no chance to begin with, Jeongguk.”

If he notices the way your voice quiver, he doesn’t say it.

Instead, he reaches for your hand, eyes silently pleading as he intertwines his fingers with yours. They fit perfectly like he’s meant to be yours, and you wonder what had you done in your past life to receive such a cruel fate from the universe.

There’s a knock on the door and you both rip your hands away from each other’s, alarmed eyes falling on the person who just knocked. It’s a staff who tells Jeongguk he has five minutes until it’s time to go before disappearing behind the door, leaving you alone once again.

He breathes out a huge sigh, standing up to fetch his suit jacket from the hanger. You beat him to it, holding the jacket in your hand, ready to help him put it on.

He doesn’t say anything as you go behind him to do so, pretending to be busy fixing the way the jacket sits on his shoulders.

Only when you put your hands on said shoulders gently that he looks up, eyes meeting yours in the mirror once again.

“Smile, Jeongguk,” you say through a smile as well, one you fight so hard to be genuinely happy and not stained with tears. “You’re supposed to be happy today.”

He stares at you like he can see past your facade.

You clear your throat before stepping away from him, hands falling from his shoulders to your side.

“Well, I better go now. Don’t want to keep everyone waiting.”

“Can I get one last hug?”

It’s rushed, words tumbling over one another, like he’s afraid you’ll be gone before he can finish the request. But it’s hopeful, tinged with a bit of longing, and you can’t find it in you to deny him of his simple request.

You put your arms around his neck while his go around your waist, his body warmth familiar and welcomed. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding and it comes out shaky, tears pricking the back of your eyes. You close your eyes to will the tears to go away.

The hug lasts four seconds too long as you both try to collect your thoughts. You pull away only to see his eyes coated with unshed tears, yours no doubt not much different.

“I should go,” you whisper.

“You should,” he agrees.

You open the door to go, yet can’t help glancing back at the man you just had in your arms mere seconds ago. He gives you a smile, and a lone tear rolls down his cheek.

“Good bye, bub.”

The old nickname makes you smile as well, but you think it’s his way of telling you it’s time to part ways.

“Good bye, Jeongguk.”

september 1st, 2022.

written to commemorate jeon jeongguk's birthday.

masterlist | secreto

a/n: i just realized that this isn't a drabble, more like a rant when i was sad and looping euphoria forever mix for a week straight :')) you can skip this one, or read if you want ^^

I thought I had become immune to the one thing that used to wreck me the most, but apparently not. The first time i saw it feels like an eternity ago, but it’s only been two months. I don’t remember a couple months passing by this quickly, but it did.

I thought I was fine, the sound of the piano just like any other songs I listen to on a daily basis. My heart no longer clenches whenever the first notes starts. I was able to enjoy the song without letting a tear out, but even that doesn’t last very long.

I made a mistake of watching it again two months after its initial release. At first my gaze was just fond, watching you do your usual dorky thing together with your hyungs. But half way through the video, the tears started coming.

It continued on until the end of the video, where I was left wondering why the hell am I still very affected by this. This whole video, song, person, thing. Even your high note still makes me cry like the first time I heard it a year ago.

Honestly, I just want to let this go. It’s pathetic to cry over something so petty every time I watch or listen to it. I don’t even know what I’m crying over so it makes this more confusing and frustrating at the same time because not knowing the cause means that I can’t stop whatever this is from happening because I don’t know what to stop. Maybe I just have to stop listening to the song altogether, but I can’t bring myself to do it. It will feel like a part of my life has been taken away, which sounds cheesy and gross—but feelings in general are cheesy, I suppose. I don’t know how many more times I’m gonna write about this because I’ve written before to finalize this and never think about it again, but look where I am now.

You might say to yourself you’re going to let go of something, but the actual process of letting go is hard. In this case it’s hard because I don’t even know what I’m letting go, ha. I should just end this because this is a word vomit disguised as a writing and this kinda makes me hate myself for the lack of eloquency in it.

I’m listening to the song as I type, and when I wrote this part the lyrics says “take my hands now..” and all I can think about is I took his hands and never once let go since all those years ago when he first sang those words. Again, really cheesy..

I never said the title but the picture and everything I wrote for sure gave it away, so.. this ends here, I guess.

august 10th, 2019

masterlist | secreto

happy new year!! here’s to hoping i would write more in 2023 hehehe 🫠🫠