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fuck it, bg3 companions shower routine

Shadowheart: Shar hates self-care, but a Shadowheart does take pride in her hair, and a Shadowheart who has learned to be kind to herself can indulge. Long, complicated hair routine, very specific water temperature, and a tendency toward long-ass depression showers. LOVES a bubble bath and will make a whole event of it with flower petals and candles just for her. Will bring a book with a little book tray and a glass of wine.

Astarion: Similarly complicated hair routine. Gotta hydrate the curls, and being dead does not do nice things to your hair. Less prone to standing there staring at nothing while the horrors set in, but prone to scrubbing too hard. Similarly fond of a bubble bath, although without the book or flowers, although he will fuck with an essential oil heater and likes to make his own blends.

Lae'zel: Queen of the 4 minute shower. She has been accused of not even waiting for the water to heat up, but she likes it blistering. Does not actually use 3-in-1, thank you. Having fairly short hair helps. She finds the other companions baffling. Would get bored in a bubble bath unless she had company (rubber duck counts).

Wyll: Sings. If someone called him on it, he would be embarrassed, the first time, for about a minute. Neither wildly efficient nor inclined to standing there for ages and ages and prefers to shower in the morning. Washing his hair is a chance to relax and take care of himself, although before he has his family back, it can be a bit melancholy. He has fallen asleep in the bath before. I feel like he'd love a bath bomb and he'd love the full romantic evening with candles and flowers and music.

Karlach: Please, please someone boil her. Once she gets her engine fixed all the way, she tries a cold shower just to remember what it feels like and keeps up a running commentary about how much it sucks while also not turning up the temperature. Absolutely loves sharing a shower with someone and will also sing. Should not attempt her little jig on wet tiles. May try anyway. Someone should introduce her to proper hair/skin care because if anyone is using 3-in-1, I'm sorry, it's Karlach. Genuinely cannot sit still for a bubble bath unless she has company to cuddle.

Gale: Voted Faerun's Most Likely to Relitigate Arguments in the Shower, Even if He Won Originally. Loves to pamper himself, canonically, loves a spa day, also canonically. You simply are not getting the bathroom back for a good hour, although not all that time involves running water. Plays around with different products and researches the living hell out of everything. Loves a long soak. The only person with a feline in their house to ever bathe in peace. Constantly torn between wanting a book with him when he has a bath and not wanting to get the pages steamy and damp, much less actually wet.

Minthara: Her ideal hair wash involves someone else doing it for her while also having the utmost certainty that the person will not attempt to murder her. If her partner washes her hair for her, she turns into a puddle. She has an incredibly specific lineup of products. If she shares, understand that she has bestowed upon you a great gift. More about bath salts than bubbles and could be persuaded to a sufficiently elegant bath bomb (it would not be a difficult check).

Halsin: Low-flow showerhead user. Hell, he might be the kind of person to turn the water off entirely when not soaking/rinsing out his hair... However, he is not immune to the "shower together to save water" line even though he KNOWS it doesn't work that way. He needs low-scent soaps/etc considering his heightened sense of smell. And listen, this man does not fit in a bathtub unless he goes somewhere special or finds a particularly large one. He made everyone floaty ducks, properly sealed against water damage, and he has one for himself that holds his soap.

Jaheira: Understands that having a chair in the shower is just being kind to yourself and proceeds accordingly. Will revisit arguments she had that day, but despite that has a quick and fairly simple routine. She needs the water pressure to pound the everloving hell out of her back. Loofa on a stick user. Like Wyll, she has fallen asleep in a bathtub, in part thanks to having and using a bath cushion. Truly, the expert on bath-based comfort.

Minsc: Also sings in the shower. LOUDLY. Boo is allowed to sit a shelf out of the way. The best way to get him to use lotion is to give him something that smells yummy. He has similar problems to Halsin regarding fitting in bathtubs. He tries anyway. He has been banned from at least one hotspring for doing a cannonball.

i hate people who know chess. “i’m moving my rook to c2” okay man. i’m driving down I-65

And HERE is the stunning beautiful Grunkle Stunkle Funkle Bunkle debacle in all its glory

wyll being incorruptible is actually a core part of his character and i love it so much. warlocks in general arent well known for putting strong morals ahead of power on their list of priorities, but heres a fiend warlock who exerts his willpower (or wyllpower, if you wyll) over his fucking devil patron by refusing to let her make him worse. he cant rewrite his pact, but he can choose to break it when he deems necessary. he cant dodge her punishment, but he can choose to not "learn his lesson" and continue pissing her off. its ballsy as fuck. he asserts his autonomy and flexes on the lady who owns his soul and hes a fucking legend for it. no it would not make him a "deeper" character if he succumbed, it would make him fundamentally a different character and exactly what youd expect from a fiend warlock

zariel based seemingly her entire plan on wyll caving to pressure and letting mizora run the gate. but he didnt. his force of will (force of wyll) was stronger than the archduchess of avernus had even passingly thought to account for. wyll choosing to spit in mizoras face and suffer the consequences, simply on principle, fucking owns

I think a big appeal of human kink for me as a nb person is that all genders get depicted as human rather than being special on their own.

Like having a womb becomes a human thing, not having one becomes a human thing, big and smooth chests become a human thing. Rather than male or female.

All the traits get mixed, all the bodies get labelled as human and the beauty you find is in the humanity itself. In the fire of their soul, in the flesh on their skin rather than the shape the skin takes.

Not to mention that fantasy races probably don't follow nor recognise our "tradition masc" and "tradition fem" traits. They look past everything and see a human, a person with endless creativity and so much potential for such a little fleeting flame of a life rather than sorting us into boxes based on gender or appearance.

Hell, probably even what we find conventionally attractive and the modern beauty standards mean nothing to them. They're not a human, why would they? Instead each race has their own defining traits of humanity that makes us attractive to them, some ones so absurdly subtle we haven't even noticed them before, others so broad and general that basically all of humanity fits under the attractive umbrella to them.

The most mundane and common of traits, the brown eyes, the blemished non-smooth human skin, body hair and everything else is akin to a luxury in their eyes, they see humanity and see the earth itself in them.

.

Also probably a monster fucking kink.

Yuri Stamps!

Went on a DA deep dive.... none of these made by me!