I Just Wanted To Say Thank You For The Well Spoken Words On The Caiti Situation, As A Victim Myself In

I just wanted to say thank you for the well spoken words on the Caiti situation, as a victim myself in almost the exact same way minus the alcohol, the rhetoric going around on this situation is so incredibly harmful.

There are so many obvious logical fallacies that will now just be used on other victims after this in the impact zone of the internet involved.

People saying that if it was actually bad, then someone in the room would have put a stop to it, when bystander effect, normalized bad practices, and alcohol exists.

People saying that since George didn’t do it purposefully without consent means it isn’t SA.

People saying that if it was serious she would have gotten the justice system involved when most cases aren’t going to be prosecutable in a court of law with minimal proof, and in general often damage the victims more without an outcome that helps anyone, and is often morally objectionable due to the inhumane aspects of prison and US punishment without good rehabilitation.

People saying that she’s either too much or too little traumatized for the experience to be valid, when the incident being morally wrong doesn’t require more or less of an impact.

People saying that people supporting Caiti are saying it’s exactly the same as Shelby’s situation and because it’s not, it’s less valid, when although abuse and SA can have different scales of harm caused, doesn’t mean that SA doesn’t deserve condemnation. Weaponizing someone’s lengthy painful experience to say that we shouldn’t treat another’s seriously is awful. Her story is exactly what Shelby meant to inspire sharing, because this stuff happens in all shapes and forms.

People saying that being emotional or not describing every part in excruciating detail when coming forward for the first time is manipulative and proves bad character or smth.

People saying that because a perpetrator is drunk both sides were equally as wrong and no one can be held accountable.

People saying that cuddling, flirting, being friendly before or after, freezing, not immediately leaving, not saying no, is consent.

People saying that this must be for clout or money because subs are turned on.

People saying that George’s response was a good apology when he said that because the act wasn’t extreme for him he didn’t think much of it, and focusing on many details not actually related to the incident or on other general hatred for dteam to imply bias against them, and generally implied that he was sorry that she felt uncomfortable rather than for what he did. And accepting the apology for Caiti.

People saying that to come forward (especially while not even naming the person) was only to ruin their life, and that that’s the only thing you can get out of coming forward publicly instead of support, peace of mind from not keeping something inside so long, and awareness so other people could come forward etc.

People saying that it was wrong to not handle this privately when that isn’t a viable option for a lot of cases particularly with powerful people involved, or when what you are seeking isn’t necessarily anything from who hurt you, like this is just some petty drama.

People saying that only acts considered more “extreme” and even more sexual should be taken seriously.

People saying because she angrily laughed in her recent response and was extremely explicit about what happened to her that she couldn’t have been shy or hesitant in her first response and is lying.

People actively victim blaming and overemphasizing underage drinking because “she isn’t a victim” when this exact rhetoric will and has been used in these cases time and again and shouldn’t be brought up when SA is even in the discussion, and will be used to guilt people who see it when they become a victim.

People saying perceived consent for other acts or the same act previously is consent for another.

People now believing in an incredibly dangerous definition of nonverbal consent because of dream’s statement, when nonverbal consent has been promoted for the protection of people who go nonverbal, it has to be as clear and exact as verbal consent, either as predetermined signals with a partner, nods, or moving someone’s hand somewhere, not just interpreting body language of a drunk stranger. The whole point of the consent movement is to have signs that aren’t misinterpretable to avoid hurting your partner or someone. If someone internally does not consent, but these signs prove consent, then what is the point? If I thought the signs I was using with someone I loved or a human I respect as I living being, didn’t actually express their wishes, I’d sure as hell try something else.

People saying that because Caiti expressed these signs that they’re calling nonverbal consent that she was lying to George.

People saying that because of that, this is a false allegation and is damaging victims, and some victims weaponizing their own experience to say that Caiti isn’t a victim and should shut up.

People saying that she just changed her mind, and anyone who isn’t reacting absolutely negatively in the moment who hasn’t consented is just having self guilt and is projecting.

People saying that anything other than enthusiastic consent is consent.

More real actual victims are going to fall into one of these categories of criticism and false logic, with it being much rarer that a ‘perfect’ victim comes along by these standards, and an intricate framework for ignoring them has been developed from this incident. If dteam hadn’t promoted and encouraged all of these fallacies from the start I think Caiti could have gotten a proper response to help her move on and not be so much more damaged, and many people wouldn’t have started to see dteam as so tainted by ugliness. In that way everything they’ve done since Caiti first came forward has done perhaps more long term damage than the act itself.

Because of their bias and falling for these manipulative tactics, this audience would just as easily invalidate me, and that hurts, even as I didn’t get as hurt as Caiti and I actually got validation from the people I told and had the confidence to know it was wrong immediately even though I froze and such, all these years later, this fact somehow hurts.

Sorry for the rant, I just needed this off my chest. Thanks again.

Ofcourse it means the world to mean hearing other peoples story’s and your rant is incredibly well worded. I show my support for victims because I know how hard it is. I was always silent for the longest time but now all I can feel is anger and I want people to understand that is more complex than it actually is and you can’t always go to the authorities. When I was 9 I had my 2nd experience this one being me realizing what sexual harassment actually is. I did go to court and I talked to authorities but in the end “I was lying.” I was 9 and they expected me to give full detail on what had happened when in reality all I wanted was to play with my Barbie’s. I didn’t understand what was actually happening cause I was a child. The justice system is incredibly flawed. Sad part is I still see him when holidays come around. It’s sickening. People constantly jumping to blame the victim makes me irritated. To them no matter what you’ll do you’re never gonna be considered a real victim. The idea of how our society reacts to these topics deeply upsets me. I speak for victims who are always told be silent cause they deserve to be heard. Saying she just wants clout is ridiculous when she has so much more to lose than George does. This why most of my post are on these serious topics because I’m not allowing myself to ever be silenced again. I’m also so sorry that you had to experience something similar, I wish every victim the best healing journey. It’s important to remember you’re not alone and there’s people here who believe you and think your story is valid. No matter how big or small your story is, no matter how big or small the impact it had on you is, your story will forever be valid.

🧍🏻‍♀️me right now cause I wrote a long ass paragraph about my experience with my first ever boyfriend about how he literally sexually harassed me and now I don’t know what to do with it.

FUCK WILBUR SOOT! He’s genuinely disgusting. Hearing the possibility of it possibly being him at first had already made me feel shit enough but coming to find out it’s true and genuine is worse. I feel genuinely disgusted with myself for ever liking and supporting him as a person. He was someone that brought me so much comfort, a person that I watched while having a bad day. This whole situation has made me anxious and nauseated that I can’t even eat. My love and support for him was grand and now all I can feel is disgust and guilt. I fall hand and hand with domestic abuse as I watched it happen to my mother at a young age and it’s something I’ve always hated my dad for. 3-4years I’ve spent watching him and supporting him and the whole time he was nothing but a piece of shit. before anyone comes to tell me this isn’t about me I’m well aware of that! This isn’t the only post I am gonna make about this damn topic, this is only the first and it about my feelings and how genuinely mortified and disgusted I am.

Asking other people who weren’t even really in the fucking room if caiti was comfortable is so incredibly stupid.

1. This guy wasn’t even there during the assault so why is he being mentioned at all?

2. Why make other people speak for caiti? Caiti was the one who knew how she was feeling since she is the actual victim! so it’s stupid to ask people who weren’t even really there and don’t know her!

3. You did it in front of other people. If someone started touching me sexually in a room full of people, especially people I barely know, especially people who are fucking friends with him. I think I would pretend I’m fine as-well. I wouldn’t know how to fucking react either!

4. Most people who have been sexually assaulted and raped knows the feeling of your body being still cause your scared and don’t know what to do.

spunout

Why do people freeze during a sexual assault?

Understanding the fight/flight/freeze response can help to explain the way a person might respond to trauma

Here’s a article about it as-well.

5. Just because she smiled at you or looked ok with it doesn’t give you the right. You met her a day ago and she was drunk meaning you can’t just assume. That’s like me going over to my friends house and smiling and joking around with them and suddenly his hands is down my pants cause “I looked ok with it”. Ridiculous logic when you know peoples brain is actually complex and jus cause someone looks like they might want it doesn’t mean they actually want it. Have you failed kindergarten? Keep your hands to yourself!

6. She was drunk I’m sure if most people know that when you are drunk your brain and body is all over the place. Some people are more giggling and bubbly when they’re drunk, from my own experiences I know I am that person.

7. ‘Well George was also drunk’ Alcohol doesn’t make a person sexually assault someone. It’s just an excuse sexual assaulters use.

Canadian Women's Foundation

Alcohol is not an excuse for sexual violence

Right in the midst of planning this year’s Sexualized Assault Prevention Month campaign in Whitehorse, the verdict in the Cindy Gladue case

I just wanna take away every aspect of them being a content creator you like to show you how fuck up and disgusting the Situation actually is.

A 26 year old man touches a drunk 18 year old women without her consent.

It’s always “support victims” till it’s you favourite stupid fucking white guy. HES NOT GOD! HE IS A BOY, A BOY WHO SEXUALLY ASSAULTED A GIRL, THAT IS WHAT HE IS!

@dutchess-psyche

Since you clearly can’t understand simple context clues the full fucking clip and if that’s not enough for you

The video link. Next time watch your fucking mouth and don’t call me dense for commenting on the fact that what George had said was creepy. Cause as I even stated in BOTH of my reply’s that was his response on consent. That it’s “fine” because what if the guy was drunk. Think before responding don’t actively try calling me dense for exposing someone for being a creep.