gaypeople4itzy

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Hiii…….hello ————★ !! welcome to you lovely <3 ⋆ ࣪. ∗ requests closed ☆⊹ ࣪ ˖ ♡ 🜲ㆍ˕ rarely activeˀˀ⁎ ⭒ ✦🔭 loona (♫︎) ⇢ + itzy^^ ıllı ▞ ᶻ ˖ ◍ kirby lver ⇉💌

319 posts

Loona - Home

Requested ? No

Genre : Angst, hurt/comfort and fluff

Pairings : Poly! Loona x reader <3

Word count : 2,7k

Warnings : Fainting, mentions of not eating, overworking, anxiety, insecurities, brief reference to death

Disclaimer :

I do not know the idols personally, this is for entertainment purposes only :D

I wrote this in the span of like, less than two hours between one and three am and I didn’t re read it much afterwards, hoping you guys will like it still !

So I convinced myself that was going to be short ?? Erm anyways, I don’t really do that style usually but I like it, I think it lets me write stuff that don’t require a lot of proof reading and the best wording hehe, I hope you’ll like it <3

So basically we have our twelve moon girls who have been especially busy lately, and a scared reader who doesn’t want to lose them but is too focused on their studies to try to forget what is making them afraid and their girlfriends find them in the middle of a breakdown before they pass out due to exhaustion, but hey don’t worry ! Lots of care is coming :))

This comes in the form of a bulleted scenario !

You had been working all day, no one really noticed what you were doing nor recognized all the efforts you were putting in your studies, you were tired of always being repeated the same thing, that you shouldn’t stress over it, you knew your own worth yet you were convinced you weren’t doing enough, as if there was always more assignments added on the pile of work you were already climbing

Living alone did have some advantages, it helped you concentrate better, you had all the time in the world for yourself and your own priorities, even if that meant reading your notes from classes a thousand time until you knew them by heart, there wasn’t anything to bother you, it was always pretty quiet, maybe a bit too much actually

Secretly, you did wish to have people around, maybe it’d actually be helpful to be reminded to eat or take a break, to be told you were doing great when you thought of yourself as the worst student possible, you seriously just wanted to feel loved and supported through this, when nights would get too quiet, the only thing we could hear were your quiet sobs from the loneliness you felt through your situation

Yes you had people you were supposed to count on, yet you felt like a burden on their shoulders, you were scared, no, terrified, terrified of losing them, terrified of making them leave, terrified to disappoint, terrified to not be as good as they thought of you, making you want to isolate yourself, in case you could get hurt by someone

Weirdly, you were in a relationship with multiple people, but you still felt somewhat alone, not that they weren't loving of course, you blamed it all on yourself, for never being able to let yourself cool down, or struggling to answer their calls, that’s if they actually talked to you

Because having twelve girlfriends was amazing yet saddening, why didn’t you feel more included ?? Well of course they had to all work together, often creating an image of you not being related to them in any way, shape or form, just like an unknown person, as if you didn’t exist

You tried your hardest to not think too hard about it, after all, they were idols and were busy, it’s understandable they couldn’t always be there, you could attempt at convincing yourself it didn’t affect you however the tear in the corner of your eye whenever seeing them all together online without you made your heart ache

They were usually very present, sometimes knocking at random hours in the night at your apartment’s door, wanting to barge in and cuddle you to sleep, or other days bringing you breakfast, or taking you on a surprise date

and if not there, there was always loads of messages sent, if it wasn’t from the group chat with all of you, it was from some of them individually, enough to warm your heart before heading to class, these girls were the reason you could still stand to this day

Though lately, they had been pretty,, absent, so much that people wondered if you guys had fallen apart since classmates noticed you walking home by yourself instead of being taken somewhere by your lovers, wondering what could had happen to cause this

And truly, you had no idea yourself, barely any news lately, you were starting to think maybe they were purposely avoiding you, or maybe the company had chosen to cut you off, were you bothersome ? Somewhat, you felt as if your presence didn’t matter to them anymore, some would call this assuming things but you’d rather imagining the worst case scenarios than comforting yourself through lies and fake promises

So today, already feeling extra tired, even for a mere Sunday, you didn't even want to check your phone, only for your eyes to meet an empty lock screen, no new messages, just like it had happened the day before, and the day before that, and during the past week, you felt weirdly, empty ?

The strength of getting out of bed was found in the comforting thought that maybe they’d show up to your place at some point throughout the day, you didn’t really believe it would happen but it was better than crying over school like you were about to do

You got out your notes and started working, losing track of time, and your thoughts, who were flying all over the place, you weren’t even able to take a proper break, scared to check your phone to be met by loneliness again, so you chose to work harder, being harsher towards yourself

You were starting to get lost in a spiral of questions, one algebra problem and you were wondering if you were still loved by them, a biology question and you were thinking about dropping everything just then, an english text to read and the sudden urge to give up

You were terribly exhausted, but even greater than that, you could feel a terrible anxious sensation take over your body every time you weren’t focusing completely, as if that little minute of rest would affect your next grades

All of this work and studying was sickening, no one should have to suffer through that, yet you did, maybe it was to prove yourself you were worth something, maybe it was to forget about what was bothering you, maybe it was to convince others you weren’t a failure, maybe it was for someone to say they were proud of you, maybe it was for teachers to not call you stupid, maybe it was to be what you wished to be, you just wanted to be special, at least a little bit

You were scared, shaking slightly, what if you were meant to fail over this, what would you if you were to fuck this up, would anyone even comfort you, did your feelings matter ?

You missed the warmth of their arms, you missed the feeling of them hugging you tightly, you missed hearing them fighting over you as if you meant something, you missed forgetting about what was sad because you could only think of their smile when they were around, you missed them so bad

And what made you even sadder what was had happened a while ago, a few days back then, where you had been trying to get their attention and explain how stressed you felt, and yet the only few responses you had gotten back were so,, detached, so much that you hadn’t been able to open your phone since, scared that you had done something wrong, you just wanted to be understood, no, you needed to feel loved again

While your hand written notes were getting dirtied by tears rolling down your cheeks, you were confused on what was happening, losing the sense of thinking properly, as if the environment around you was starting to disappear

You tried closing your eyes to rest for a split second yet the image of them rejecting you popped in your head and your state immediately worsen, not knowing what to do with your hands, or your head

Anxiously fidgeting with your pen, you tried writing the answer on your homework sheet, scared to not pass that subject for the exam awaiting for you, you did understand everything well, yet felt as if your efforts were worthless, always needing to do more

Without even noticing, your hand started writing down your feelings, you were confused but you couldn’t go against it, you needed a break, something was restraining you though, you thought of yourself of not worthy of getting rest, you thought that working harder would make your girlfriends possibly come back, so you followed your thoughts, letting your hand write down what crossed your mind, from the anxiety you had been feeling to the tears drenching the sheet and the cold feeling of being alone in the dark while the ones you loved were out there probably having a normal day, embracing each other, and of course, without you, who didn’t deserve to be there

A sudden hand on your shoulder brought you back to reality, there stood Yerim, one of your lovely girlfriends, grinning at you before looking at you in disbelief as you watched the others do the same, concerned by the drenched look on your face

You were worried of them finding out what you had written, or that they came here to break up with you, yet you couldn’t form a single sentence even with all the words you wanted to say, when chuu took your face in her hands and asked you if you were okay, you could feel your body lose up a little

A clear sentence was what you wanted to form, but only a sigh came out of your mouth, as tears filled your eyes and suddenly, everything went blank, not a single memory of what had been happening

Time went by

Was it over ?

Was that what they called, the after life ?

Maybe it was your place to be

Still alone

In another life surely

In an all white space with nothing but emptiness was where you found yourself to be

A voice then called your name, going somewhat like this “Y/n.. please don’t leave us princess, we love you so much, stay, do it for us, do it for you, you deserve so much better, we love you”, sounding like an angel mixed with a crying soulmate who had just lost someone, you felt sorry for whoever was that, hearing how heartbroken they seemed to be, “must be talking to someone with the same time as me, even if the voice is low-key familiar”

And weirdly, the white space started to feel warmer, if it was comforting before then now it was a literal paradise, you didn’t wanna get out of it for anything in the world

You closed your eyes for a split second, not knowing why, you just did, as if that would help you remember the sensation you never wanted to forget about

Your eyes opened again but this time, it was in a foggy environment, familiar to your gaze who was trying to figure out what was going on, the warm sensation was still there, even stronger actually, as a sweet scent warmed up your poor heart

That’s when you felt a kiss on your cheek, and it hit you

You looked around and saw you were laying down Hyeju, who had her arms wrapped tightly around you and her face in your neck, a hand holding yours and a protective smile on her face when she met your eyes

You didn’t really understand what happened as she leaned in to kiss you before Jiwoo interrupted the both of you, coming up to you to cuddle your side

“Y/n !!! baby !! You’re finally awake ! You had us so scared, are you feeling okay ???? I love you !” she then said meanwhile Yerim arrived jumping around before kissing your nose and asking you about your state as well, rubbing little circles on your hand

Hyeju pouted a little bit, not wanting the two girls to take your attention away from her, she made her grip a little stronger, not enough to make you uncomfortable but perfect for you to stay in her embrace for a while, before the others came in

Haseul made you sit up and fed you something she had been cooking with Vivi and Jinsoul just before, wanting you to take your vitamins and stay healthy

“My poor love, what got you so worked up lately ? You know you can always count on us, don’t ever let yourself so down okay ? We love you very much sweetheart, please never forget it” you could almost feel yourself crying at Haseul’s words as Vivi rubbed your back in such a comforting manner

Jungeun then walked in followed by Yves and Yeojin who nearly jumped on you before Yves stopped her, not wanting you to get too shaken up just after such a draining afternoon, and of course, she wanted your attention first

Jungeun took your hand in hers as the others were sort of bickering with each other, Haseul still feeding you, Vivi kissing your forehead from time to time and Jinsoul patting your head repeatedly

“Baby, don’t worry okay ? You’re at our dorm and you’re staying here for a while, we contacted your school and they were fine with you taking as long as you needed to rest” Jungeun said seriously, making you remember what you had been working so hard for

“B-but my exams ??! And my grades, I can’t afford failing and-”

“Baby, it’s a no, you’re resting with us now” Hyeju cut you short, before actually kissing you, making the others whine from her getting your attention more than others

Heejin, Hyunjin and Chaewon then walked in, they were now all complete, and ready to shower you with love, they admitted reading what you had written and promised you to never let you feel that way again, that if they needed to skip practice to take care of you, they 100% would, you still remained their first priority and your health was their main concern at all times

You were a bit shocked at first, wondering if it was even real, but when you saw Yeojin and Yerim fighting for who would get to steal a kiss from you first meanwhile Hyeju stuck out her tongue at them as she held you close to her, your head laying down her chest, you knew you it was true, you realized just how safe you felt around them, maybe you weren’t perfect at all times but they were the right home you needed

You went taking a bubble bath with the kind and caring Chaewon afterwards, to clean the body you hadn’t been taking care of and to get the occasion to cuddle warmly with you in the middle of bubbles, giggling from Chaewon’s lovingness

“princess, I love you so so much, thank you for staying by our side, please don’t do that to yourself again, I’m so proud of you for who you are, I love you way too much to lose you” she had said, not even making fun of you one bit or commenting on how pathetic you thought you looked, she only wanted the best for her little love

Right after you got out, wrapped in towels, heejin and Hyunjin walked in, offering you a cute pyjama they had bought for you, wanting you to be comfortable, and of course right after changing, you hugged them as hard as you could

You were still tired but you wanted to spend time with everyone for a bit, you understood quickly that you had fainted from exhaustion, and Jinsoul proceeded to explain how they took you to the hospital in concern and that there, they told them to take care of you properly, that it could be dangerous if it were to happen often but that they couldn’t really anything except from giving you better health tips, being interrupted by Hyeju and Yeojin who thought they weren’t helpful at all

Luckily, Vivi and Yves actually had quite a lot of medical knowledge, and even Jiwoo had studied to become a nurse at some point, so they had tried making it the healthiest environment for you to wake up to

They were all around you and you could feel a smile being drawn on your face as you cheeks were heating up from the love you were getting, you finally felt at ease, you were so glad this was behind you, you slowly drifted asleep as they promised to cherish you with all they had, these girls, maybe if sometimes failing some stuff, were the best thing that had ever happened to you, you couldn’t imagine a life without them by your side, and you were glad to be by their side again at the end of the day

The love you got there, what was people called a home

Nothing in the world could separate you guys by now, your relationship stronger than ever, your insecurities and fears being known, they swore to not let you feel bad about yourself again

The end <3

Hey lovelies !! I hope you all enjoyed :)

Please take care of yourselves and never hesitate to hmu if you don’t feel well, love you all <3

Loona - Home

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