Giraffewithhumanhands - Just Pushing Buttons And Seeing What Happens

happy valentine's day who wants to throw themselves on a fence spike for me while reciting biblical wedding vows as your last words so i can consume your soul and gain immortality but after confronting god who says he cannot bring you back i become so overtaken with grief that i lobotomize myself to erase my ability to conceive of you in any capacity to prevent my body from absorbing and using you as an eternal battery after which i send myself to a purgatory dream state and you surface in control of my body and defend it from the alien bug soldiers of a murdered ghost planet that are trying to kill me for the sins of the emperor i worship and then i stay sleeping in hell while you end up back in your own body and then my body kisses your body but it's while being inhabited by the soul of the earth and eventually you try to sacrifice yourself for me again but you can't because you're dead now and then i wake up in my own body finally in the same room as you but i faint and get carried off by eldritch barbie before i can hear you assert your devotion to me by calling her a slut. either that or we could get coffee

today im thinking about the huge buff bread guy from kikis delivery service. highly underrated guy

Still thinking about none houses left grief, and while I understand where people are coming from, "it took me out of the world" is just... Really not a relevant criticism here. Like, that line is SUPPOSED to be jarring. It is supposed to be kind of darkly funny, but the point isnt for you to laugh. Its not trying to be a punchline. The point of that line IS to "take you out of the world" because the point is that *this world isn't what you thought it was.*

Round 5, Match 7: Jawbone O’Shaughnessey vs. Abigail Pent and Magnus Quinn

Art for Abigail and Magnus here (done by @ancientannoyance)

Submitted kids:

Jawbone O’Shaughnessey: Tracker O'Shaughnessey, Adaine Abernant, Fig Faeth, Kristen Applebees

Abigail Pent and Magnus Quinn: Jeannemary Chatur, Isaac Tettares, They also end up as parental figures for Harrowhark Nonagesimus and Gideon Nav

Propaganda under the cut!

Jawbone O’Shaughnessey:

1. “A lot of the main characters of this story have shit parents, and Jawbone, formerly a drug dealer and bouncer turned high school counselor happily opened his home to all of them.”

2. “He's a former druggie that the intrepid heroes met at a club during an investigation. Instead of fighting him, they offered him a job as guidance counselor at their school. He took the job and, after a bit, began dating fig's mom. Kristen was dating his niece, who lived with him at the time. During the final battle with Kalvaxus, he helped Adaine work through a panic attack and gave her anxiety meds. Those meds have a mechanical advantage too, as she would roll for panic attacks. As mentioned in the notes for this post, he makes a pretty incredible speech. Anyways, Adaine's parents abandon her soon after and jawbone offers her a place to stay, along with Kristen (who moved in with tracker), Fig (who moved in with her mom), and the Barkrocks (who they're sharing the house with). Zayn Darkshadow also lives in the cemetery at Mordred Manor, and they took in Aelwyn before she got herself an apartment. So he does a lot.”

3. “Jawbone O'Shaunessy is the single best parental figure in those kids lives.

They rescued him from a bad spot, and time and time again he proved that he was willing to be the stable figure when nobody else was there for them.

Adaine, his officially adopted daughter, has panic attacks throughout the whole first season. During the big final battle, when she's inflicted with the dnd "fear" condition, causing a panic attack, he arrives just in time to help save her from running away fully. When Adaine's parents abandoned her and never gave her treatment for her condition, he's the one who really sees her. He says his famous line "You are not a coward- you have a goddamn medical condition, okay?" He's the first person to give her meds to help, and she's able to get back in the fight because of him. (If somebody else has the whole clip please reblog with it, it definately needs to be part of the propoganda).

He also says "You're easy to love, and anybody who couldn't figure it out is a real bozo." to Adaine in a different conversation”

Abigail Pent and Magnus Quinn:

1. “Okay so that may not look like many kids but the thing is that they arrive at this cursed ass house with their too adopted-ish kids, Isaac and Jeannemary. then Magnus meets Gideon, and is like the only person actually trying to talk to her and show her (it might not look like much mut it's the biggest anyone's ever done for Gideon). Sadly she and Gideon actually never gwt to talk because Gideon has a vow of silence. Anyways then they have a wedding anniversary (nice) which unfortunately ends with both of them being pushed down a fuckass long ladder and dying.

BUT they come back in the next book! AS GHOSTS INSIDE HARROW'S MIND and then they adopt her in there before dying again (also they solve a mystery and are good at it)

YEAH AND ABIGAIL CAN SUMMON GHOSTS

manifesting for them to come back again in the fourth book so they can adopt more kids and die again”

2. “Abigail seeing harrow, gideon, and the terrible teens: "I choose you!"”

Please tag/comment where you're from! Submitted anonymously 🤫