When Tulips Kiss | Hwang Hyunjin SMAU

When Tulips Kiss | Hwang Hyunjin SMAU

you and hyunjin were THE couple back in high school, and the two of you thought that you had found your perfect match. until one day, one misunderstanding turned everything around. the love that you had for one another turned into spite, anger, and hatred. a few years later, one of your best friends since childhood came home from studying abroad, resulting in your friend group to finally be complete again. but on your way to meet up with your friends at the local boba place, you run into the one whom you have grown to despise.

PAIRING: hwang hyunjin x f!reader

GENRE: social media au (with written parts), university au, non-idol au, crack, fluff, angst, slow burn, enemies to lovers, lots of push and pull, hyunjin’s a fuckboy

WARNINGS: mature themes, profanity, suggestive and talks of sexual intercourse, kms+kys jokes

FEATURED IDOLS: all stray kids members, soloist chuu, jiwon of fromis_9 (y/n fc), chaewon of le sserafim, and more

STATUS: ongoing

DISCLAIMER: this is 100% fiction and doesn’t portray how the featured idols act in reality, this is made purely for entertainment

𝜗𝜚 NAVIGATION

PROFILES: 𝜗𝜚 sonny angels || 𝜗𝜚 big hero 6

ZERO || introduction

ONE || let’s get the band back together!

TWO || we are SO back

THREE || LOVESTAY NIGHTCLUB!!!

FOUR || something about her

FIVE || hyunjin approved (?)

SIX || civil

SEVEN || the best of both worlds

EIGHT || de-stress

NINE || happy birthday

TEN || what is she doing?

ELEVEN || nintendo

TWELVE || keep it down

3TEEN || who are you

4TEEN || friends

5TEEN || don’t be mean

6TEEN || wish you were sober

7TEEN || hush up boy

8TEEN || ayen on top!

9TEEN || no feelings at all?

TWENTY || what a coincidence

TWENTY-ONE || gyu

TWENTY-TWO || guitar hero

TWENTY-THREE || take a hint

TWENTY-FOUR || nobody’s surprised

TWENTY-FIVE || log off.

TWENTY-SIX || WRONG ACCOUNT.

TWENTY-SEVEN || am i cooked?

TWENTY-EIGHT || nothing has changed

TWENTY-NINE || the second time?

THIRTY || a win is a win

THIRTY-ONE || #needthat

THIRTY-TWO || i’m a simp

THIRTY-THREE || i like studio ghibli

THIRTY-FOUR || throwback

THIRTY-FIVE || hwangster

THIRTY-SIX || better off

THIRTY-SEVEN || what if

THIRTY-EIGHT || + hyune

THIRTY-NINE || goodnight

FORTY || our gf

FORTY-ONE || THAT’S TERRIBLE

FORTY-TWO || …

FORTY-THREE || …

FORTY-FOUR || …

FORTY-FIVE || …

AND MORE TO COME…

TAGLIST (CLOSED)!

Hyunjin As Your Boyfriend

Bangchan | Minho | Changbin | Hyunjin | Han | Felix | Seungmin | Jeongin

Contains Smut🩷

Small note, hyunjin is really just- coming for me lately. So I needed this more than I knew lol

-🩵

•The hopeless romantic.

•He’s thinking of the best. Date ideas.

•They’re so thought out, so unique and cute-

•Takes you two to the beach for a beautiful picnic.

•Movie nights laying on your bed with a projected on the ceiling so y’all can cuddle.

•Plans cute painting dates.

•Speaking of paintings.

•Has so many doodles, drawings ext that are of you or things that make him think of you.

•Your first date? It’s a painting.

•That one picture he just melts seeing.

•It’s a cute little doodle he keeps in his phone case.

•Loves writings you little notes that you can put in your phone case.

•Loves telling others “that’s my partner”

•Gush’s about you a lot.

•Especially to the members.

•Which he always likes to tease you about them.

•”Ah- y/n why are you talking to innie? I’m right here? Your handsome boyfriend”

•And when you give any of them a hug.

•Mans whining “Right infront of me? How could you. We need to go home and change your clothes of his dirty touch”

•All in good teasing, makes you laugh, makes the members laugh.

•Sits and judges people with you.

•Like you don’t like someone?

•He’s picking up the same vibes but it’s plastered on his face.

•Random dance battles.

•Ending in you both on the floor laughing at each other.

•He’ll do the little “ew” thing to you when you ask for a kiss cause you pout and he just loves that.

•”Ew we can’t kiss! I have a partner”

•Likes to take you traveling with him especially to fashion shows.

•You’re always his plus one for anything.

•Tells you all the time “you should model you’re stunning”

•Ugh and this mans complimenting you so much.

•”My partner is just amazing, they look so pretty, they’re so stunning”

•Tries to learn about stuff you like so you both can do it.

•You like Knitting? He’s learning it.

•You like to play a certain game? He’s trying it out too.

•He gets the big sad when he’s away.

•Literally thinks he’s gonna die.

•Calls you from his room saying “I can’t go on my babies not here with me, it’s been 6 years”

•Dramatic man.

•Sends you so many dumb (cute) little videos.

•Also sends you so many pictures.

•So. Many. Pictures.

•Also listen- yall getting matching jewelry.

•Because he’ll be on tour and see these cute bracelets and need to get them for the both of you.

•He’s a really good gift giver too.

•Not that you want him too, and no matter how much you protest.

•He finds the most you gift. Like it’s scary.

•Overall this man is such a hopeless romantic.

•Be ready to be treated like a god.

•Cause honestly that’s how he views you.

︵‿︵‿୨Smut Below୧‿︵‿︵

•He’s just as romantic in the bedroom.

•Does the whole rose peddles to the bed.

•Candles, good music ext.

•His favorite way of fucking you is anyway he can see your face.

•He just wants to be able to kiss you.

•Hands frantically touching your body.

•Also think he’s very vocal. Not so much talking.

•More of he has his head in your neck moaning and groaning.

•Is definitely leaving marks on you. Thinks they’re pretty.

•Im a firm believer that he loves when you ride him facing him.

•He can hold onto tightly, hands running all over you.

•Both of your faces contorting in pleasure.

•Likes when you suck or bite his neck.

•Honestly probably likes when you choke him. Not hard but just enough.

•If he does talk it’s him whimpering about how good you feel or how good you’re doing.

•If you got tittie he sucking them. Feel like he’s a tittie kinda guy.

•Man also really enjoys shower sex.

•It’s just so so intimate.

•And this. This is the most loving kind of sex.

•It’s normally when he is really needy and just wants you.

•The feeling of the warm water while he fucks you makes him cum so fast.

•He just loves loves it.

•Aftercare with him is a lot of loving words.

•Cuddling on the bed as he pushes his hair out of your face.

•Telling you how much he loves you.

💙 If you’d like to read more of my stuff you can find it Here: Master List . Thank you for reading and if requests are open or you just wanna talk feel free to send me something🩵

long for you.

I. Prologue | II. hyunjin's interlude | III. afterthought

exbf!Hyunjin x gn!Reader genre 𓋰 Angst warnings 𓋰 Discussions of Hiatus, arguing, cursing, 1 food mention word count𓋰 1.5k

author's note 𓋰 This chapter discusses topics of hiatus and public criticism. STAYs (Especially my Hyunjin biased STAYs, please read at your own discretion and take care of yourself the way you need to). All of my work is fictional and does not reflect SKZ, the public or staff.

AT THE STUDIO

The boys’ arms swung at their sides as their whole body moved with their heavy breaths. Humidity filled the room, making the mirrors fog up with a misty white layer. Despite being hard to see in their reflections, Lee Know had his eyes on Hyunjin most of the practice. As the boys collapsed from exhaustion, Lee Know did not hesitate to express his findings. 

“Hyunjin, you’re off on your footing during the second chorus” Lee Know mutters as he towers over Hyunjin who is laying flat on the floor. “Our comeback stage is not too far from now. We need to get this down”

Hyunjin did not respond although he was listening intently. All he could do was simply rest his arm over his eyes to cover the bright lights and the piercing stare of his hyung. Hyunjin wouldn’t know what to say even if he had the power to do so. He knew he was lacking. 

Hyunjin was physically exhausted from the continuous practices that went on for hours to weeks at a time. His muscles ached yet somehow he found energy to power through. On the other hand, Hyunjin was still heartbroken or rather lost after your break up. He was no longer mad. Just uneasy. 

There were no clear answers that would reassure him.

Hyunjin seeked comfort from STAY but could only find comments pointing out his restless behavior. According to the public, he was acting ‘cold’ and ‘abnormally quiet’. But again, his muscles ached. 

His heart ached.

Chan lessened up on Hyunjin, providing him support from afar after his outlash. He was afraid to push his younger member too far, knowing damn well that Hyunjin was on the brink of losing it. It didn’t take the members long either to find out that Hyunjin was going through a hard time. 

On the other hand, the youngest was lingering by the computer that once played their tracklist. Felix hovered behind him as they scrolled through the internet. Chan’s curiosity got the best of him and forced his feet to shuffle across the practice room. Chan, who already looked stressed, furrowed his eyebrows as he saw the familiar logos of new sites on the computer. 

There were articles upon articles that mentioned Hyunjin’s name. What shocked Chan the most was that fans and non-fans were making the most hurtful comments about Hyunjin and the whole team. The news sites accumulated all of their tweets displaying the ‘critiques’. It left Jeongin and Felix’s jaws agape from the shock and complexity of their comments that jabbed at everything they possibly could. How could anyone say these things?

Chan tugged at the boys’ shirts, signaling them to step away.  “Stop reading that” Chan said through gritted teeth. “These people don’t know what they’re talking about”

Jeongin stumbled to the side of the computer where Felix was once standing.

“Hyung… What are we gonna do?” Jeongin said as his face grew into a frown. 

Chan only sighed. Chan remembered how they’re a team. What one experiences, all of them feel it too. He couldn’t just let this continue on. Chan took swift strides over to Hyunjin who was now sitting up with his face in his hands. 

“Hyunjin, get up” Chan firmly said, voice slightly above a conversational voice. “We’re going to management now” 

FLOOR 5: JYPE STAFFING AND MANAGEMENT

Chan’s leg shook as he waited for the staff to end their meeting. What was once worry fueling his adrenaline was soon replaced with anger. Chan felt his heart pound and his skin burn red as he thought of every bad outcome of this situation. 

As soon as the meeting looked like it was finished, Chan shot out of his seat. Nobody had even left the room when Chan entered the meeting space. “We need to talk” He demanded.  

All of them looked at him in surprise as Chan was never like this. The staff member sitting at the head of the table muttered a few things under their breath which caused the others to rise from their seats and leave in a hurry. The staff cleared their throat and motioned for the two boys to sit. “What do you need, Bang Chan? Hyunjin?”

Chan glanced at Hyunjin who hung his low. Before speaking, Chan let out a shaky breath. “Please tell me you can do something about the things going on online”

"Chan, we've discussed this before" The staff said flatly.

In the past, time before their debut and back when SKZ were just kids in a training room, they heavily reviewed what it meant to be an idol. The staff talked endlessly about how there would be times that were hard and that people were going to criticize them regardless of what they did. At one point in those discussions, Chan calmed his curiosity and asked what would happen if it became 'too hard'. They simply said that they would likely take action under one condition.

"It can't be something you directly caused"

Chan knew that the staff believed that Hyunjin's backlash was a result of his own actions since he was acting differently than what they wanted him to be. But Chan also knew that Hyunjin didn't have a choice and wouldn't have been how he is today if it weren't for the staff's demands.

"He didn't do anything!" Chan raised his voice. "He did what he was told! You told him to breakup with them because you all believed that there were conflicts"

The staff grew frustrated, chewing their inner lip and releasing a deep exhale from their nose. "We did. He was losing focus and risking his career by dating them. Now, he's being criticized for the lack of professionalism since the break up. He's acting out on his own!"

Hyunjin's head raised. Chan looked over to the semi-slumped boy and saw that Hyunjin's eyes read anger.

“You don’t care, do you?” Hyunjin scoffed, “You think we’re just idols before we are human, huh? We just rack in money for this company, right? That’s all we are? Like you think we can just handle everything? There are 5 trucks outside of this building right now, demanding that I leave Stray Kids for my ‘behavior’. My ‘behavior’ is because I—... I’m heartbroken…not because I didn't like consequences of my own actions"

Chan continues to stare at Hyunjin and rests a hand on his shoulder as he fights back tears, seeing his member break down in a sob. “I’m tired of this comeback and I’m tired of people hurting me. I’m tired of you guys not protecting me or the people I love…I can't win in either situation"

The staff sighed. “Hyunjin, the day you signed that contract, you knew what you were in for. You were not allowed to date for a while but once that agreement ended, you went soul searching for Y/n. You also knew the potential consequences for dating. You knew that we can’t protect you from everything. You chose to date, you followed through with a break up and now you hate the consequences of your own actions that you've compiled. A-and Hyunjin? If you are that tired, you should just sit out on this comeback and reflect on yourself”

Chan’s jaw dropped at their petty comment. They're now pushing Hyunjin to be on hiatus… Chan knew that any form of hiatus was indefinite. There were no time frames of when Hyunjin would be back if he were to be on hiatus. There was no guarantee that he would even come back.

“You want him to be on hiatus, again? Are you serious!?” Chan exclaimed, anger fully taking over. “You want him to receive more backlash? Do you want him to hurt more? Is that all you can think of?! You're supposed to protect us! ALL EIGHT OF US"

Hyunjin pulled Chan back down in his seat. "Do you really want me to be on hiatus?" He whispers out to the staff.

All the staff could do was shrug their shoulders and brush it off. “I don’t have an answer for you. It’s up to you what you want. We won't make that decision”

Hyunjin looks at Chan. Chan shakes his head furiously. "Hyunjin, think about this first" "

As the staff collects their things and heads to the door. They stop right before it, standing right next to Hyunjin. "Are you in or are you out?

Y/N’s HOME

It’s been days since you last heard from him. Yet he was still on your mind. It was impossible not to be. On every form of media, Hyunjin’s name and face were plastered all over it.

Stray Kids’ Hyunjin raises concerns amongst fans from new fansite photo Fans of Stray Kids question Hyunjin’s wellbeing after posting artwork Hyunjin of Stray Kids attitude changes, fans demand an answer Kpop fans angered over Stray Kids’ Hyunjin lack of 'professionalism'

Not to mention, every time you commuted to work and school, you passed by their building which was now racking up protest trucks. It was bad on Hyunjin's end. It really made you feel sick to your stomach thinking about how fragile yet lovingly Hyunjin viewed the world before all of this. Imagine how he felt when it turned its back on him.

Just like any morning, you turned the TV on, expecting to hear yet another coverage story about the trucks accumulating and the fans arguing with everyone. You were in the kitchen, cooking breakfast. But as you scramble your eggs, you stop in your tracks. The hair on your arms and the back of your neck rise. Goosebumps and weakness in your limbs overcame your body too. Without a thought in your head, your body took you to the TV. In bold black letters, the news subtitle read:

Hyunjin posts letter apologizing to fans, following a hiatus statement issued by JYPE

What the fuck is he doing?

series taglist: @isagerada , @sparklyglitterangel , @havenwithleeknow , @piscesrising01

Please reply or send an ask to be removed. Otherwise, thank you so much for reading.

—where we left off.

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader

genre: fluff, very slight drama, pining, non-idol au, best friend’s brother au

word count: 7.4k

summary: spending new years’s eve at a club with your best friend’s brother and his friends sounded like a lot of fun. that until a certain girl felt like fighting you for him, and suddenly spending the countdown back at your place, just the two of you, sounded so much better.

warnings: mentions of alcohol

author’s note: hellooo, don’t come for me, as usual i couldn’t control myself lmao. this is kind of like part 5.2 of my social media au “heart out”, in case anyone who doesn’t follow the story comes across this one shot. i hope this manages to give you all some more context of what was going on behind the texts, and i hope you all enjoy! if you do please don’t forget to leave an ask or a comment with your thoughts on it<3

“You’re kidding”.

A single chuckle was heard in the hallway, where Hyunjin stood holding up a quite long puffer jacket of his for you to wear.

It was comical, actually — how you had opened the door for him with a smile adorning your face, only for it to be erased the second he flaunted the jacket in your face and you were hit with the fact that he was indeed not kidding when he told you earlier that day that he’d bring you a jacket if you decided you weren’t wearing one.

A part of him regretted it as soon as he saw you. You looked beautiful. You always did, but the dress you decided to wear that night could only make him feel like not taking his eyes off of you for even just a second; wishing he could throw the jacket to the side and act like he hadn’t brought it in the first place.

The most rational part of him, the one that could still manage to control himself around you, however, made him stand his ground. As stunning as you looked, the weather outside was just too cold for you to wear only a dress.

“As you can see,” he wiggled the piece of clothing in his hands. “I am not”.

“You really expect me to wear that?” You raised a questioning eyebrow.

“Unless you want to go get a puffer jacket of your own, yes”.

Rolling your eyes, you took a step outside your apartment and closed the door behind you, sliding your purse down your arm before you took his coat from him. “Whatever, I’m taking it off as soon as I enter the restaurant anyway”.

Holding your purse for you while you put the jacket on, Hyunjin couldn’t help but smile at the sight in front. You wearing his clothes made him feel something he had not quite felt before, and he could only rejoice in it and take it one step further by zipping the jacket up until it was covering your chin.

“I look ridiculous” you stated.

“You look cute” he reassured you, handing you your bag.

“You look handsome though, and I’m not matching your vibe anymore” you fought him once more, completely unaware of the power your first statement had over him.

Having to clear his throat in order to conceive the butterflies in his stomach, he gestured to the stairs, so you would start walking towards them.

“Let’s go” he said. “You can match my vibe when you take it off at dinner”.

The moment you stepped a foot outside, you were thankful that he forced you to wear it, but he wouldn’t catch you admitting it out loud, of course. Not like he needed you to anyway, for one look at you and the way you were hugging yourself while you waited for the taxi he called to pull over, was enough for him to smile proudly to himself.

And then, when you arrived to the restaurant and you didn’t immediately take it off like you claimed you would, he knew you’d found comfort in the warmth it was providing you with.

One of his friends spotted him from their table and waved at him, catching his attention, and only then, when you were walking towards a group of at least ten people, you began to feel nervous. It only intensified when you reached them and all their eyes focused on both of you.

Greeting everyone with a small bow, you walked around the table after Hyunjin motioned for you to go before him.

Thankfully, Han and Minho had saved two seats in between them, so you’d end up sitting in between Hyunjin and either one of them instead of next to any of their other friends you didn’t know.

As soon as you reached the empty seats, you threw Hyunjin a taunting smile.

“May I take this off now?” You motioned at the jacket he made you wear.

Hyunjin laughed, nodding his head and reaching out to help you slide it off your arms. “You’re putting it back on as soon as we’re done here, though”.

You visibly rolled your eyes at him, earning another light laugh of his as he placed it on the chair in front of him, and then pulled it out for you to sit down. It took you a second to get it, only doing so when his eyes met yours and he nodded his head towards the seat for you to sit down on.

You smiled sweetly, doing as told and then quietly thanking him when he took a seat next to you.

You realised then that, much to your relief, you had already been introduced to most of the people in there, thanks to that one birthday party they threw Hyunjin a few years ago, and some others you had seen on two or three of his social media posts.

The only new faces were two guys sitting by the left and a brunette sitting in front of you, right next to Haeun, a really nice girl you remembered talking to back at Hyunjin’s surprise party.

“Did you guys order already?” Hyunjin asked.

“Not yet,” Minho replied, handing him the menu. “But we already know what we’re ordering, so you better make up your mind fast”.

Chuckling under his breath, Hyunjin placed the menu in front of the two of you while his friends called the waiter to start ordering, so you could check out your options.

“Would it be too basic of me to just order tteokbokki?” You mumbled for only him to hear, still staring at the menu after having gone through everything in it. “Although donkatsu does sound really good right now”.

“The donkatsu here is amazing so I had that in mind, but now I’m torn between tteokbokki as well” he confessed with a breathy laugh, earning a chuckle from you.

“Should we order both and share them?” You proposed, looking up to him and watching a bright smile show on his face.

“Yeah, let’s do that”.

Sitting up straight right as everyone else was done ordering, Hyunjin handed the menu back to the waiter and proceeded to order what the two of you agreed on.

As soon as the waiter left, you felt all eyes fall on the two of you.

“So when were you telling us you got yourself a girlfriend?” One the guys you had never seen before asked him right away.

Hyunjin almost choked on air, feeling his face heat up while everyone stared at the two of you and you looked nearly frozen over that question.

“I’m not…” you began, looking over at Hyunjin as you didn’t really know what else to say.

“She’s Yeji’s best friend” Hyunjin finished your point.

“Oh? You guys must be very close then for you to bring her without your sister” Jihoo, if you remembered the name correctly, asked this time with a teasing smirk.

“Yeji’s out of town and Hyunie didn’t want me to spend new year’s eve alone” you explained.

“Yeah, I can tell you guys aren’t that close” the girl next to Haeun stated, her eyes going from you to Hyunjin. “Hyunjin hates being called Hyunie”.

“We are close, though” Hyunjin corrected her in a heartbeat. Had she not just seen you arrive together while you wore his jacket? “She can call me whatever she wants”.

Your head turned to Han next to you, who couldn’t hold back a snort and ended up choking on his water.

“Oh, so he’s like a little brother to you?” She asked you directly this time, and you managed to catch the not very subtle nudge Haeun gave her to shut up. “Is that why you call him that?”

“Can we talk about something else?” Han spoke before you could answer, having managed to catch his breath surprisingly fast. “Hyunjin’s love life has never been that interesting anyway”.

Although earning himself a smack from Hyunjin, it was enough to make the whole table laugh and move on to another topic — one that didn’t have to do with your and Hyunjin’s relationship status, and one that would definitely not end up with you possibly confirming to him that you saw him as a little brother. He really had to thank Han for that one.

The rest of the dinner went smoothly. Hyunjin’s friends were a lot of fun, you soon realised, to the point you found yourself laughing so much that you were able to ignore the nasty looks the girl in front of you —whose name you later found out was Dahye— would give you anytime you interacted with Hyunjin; which, considering he was sitting next to you and on top of that he was sharing dishes with you, were a lot.

It wouldn’t take a genius to understand that she was into Hyunjin and that it might be a problem that night given he had arrived with you, but you had more important things to care about rather than to pay attention to her anyway, like making sure you’d get along with Hyunjin’s friends so he wouldn’t feel like he had to check up on you to see if you were having fun every five minutes, and later that night racing him to pay for the check, only to be beaten by him.

The proud smirk that curved up his mouth while he paid for dinner was enough for you to peacefully accept your defeat and forget about the girl glaring at you from the side.

-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡

By the time you made it to the club, which was only three streets away from the restaurant, as Hyunjin’s group had deliberately chosen one of the most popular areas not to need another car to get you there, it was already filled with people — the queue to enter being quite long, yet moving surprisingly fast.

Hyunjin found himself unconsciously tugging at the sleeve of your —his— jacket as soon as you made it inside, standing right behind you not to lose you in the crowd of people as you made your way past them. And it only hit him how close you were when you turned your head to him and your nose nearly brushed against his mouth.

“We should find the coat check” you said, coming closer to his ear for him to be able to hear you over the loud music.

He nodded, gulping hard before the two of you stood there looking around the place. When you found it not too far from where you were standing, you pointed at it, feeling Hyunjin nod behind you and telling something to one of his friends before taking off — although inaudible, you guessed it had to do with something along the lines of coming back to them right away.

“You know, this wouldn’t have been necessary if you’d just let me come without a coat” you taunted once on the desk, beginning to take it off.

Hyunjin chuckled, shaking his head while he took his jacket off as well, as it was way hotter than he’d expected inside the club. Much to your surprise, the black shirt he was wearing underneath, and which you had supposed was long-sleeved, was not. His biceps were fully displayed as he reached for your purse and the puffer jacket you were trying to fold, and you couldn’t help but stare while he handed the three items to the person behind the desk.

Putting the claim ticket inside his pants’ pocket, his eyes focused back on you, smiling shyly when he caught you staring.

“And then I’m the one who’s not appropriately dressed for the weather?” You raised a questioning eyebrow.

His previous shy smile turned into a smirk, gently turning you around and placing his hands on your bare shoulders so he could lead you through the crowd towards your group. “I was wearing a jacket”.

“It’s so not the same?” You turned your face to him once again, and he swore your unannounced proximity would be the end of him.

“I care about you not getting a cold, shouldn’t you be saying thank you?” He argued, pulling you closer to him when you almost bumped into someone.

“I looked ridiculous” you stated.

He begged to differ, you looked adorable. He would lend you his clothes every time he could, even if you weren’t being stubborn and didn’t really need him to at all.

“Besides, who says I don’t care about you catching a cold either?”

“I didn’t see you bringing me a jacket though?” He questioningly tilted his head.

You rolled your eyes. “You can wear the one you brought me once we leave. I’ll wear your other one”.

Hyunjin laughed under his breath, thankful for the loud music and bad lighting that allowed him to hide just how flustered he was over the simple thought of you leaving the club wearing the jacket he had come with. Sure, you came in wearing his puffer jacket, but there was something about everyone else seeing you leave in the jacket he was previously wearing, that sent butterflies flying all over his stomach.

“I’ll think about it” he tried to play it cool, earning a triumphant smile from you.

Seeing Han wave towards the two of you from near the bar, Hyunjin tightened his hold on your shoulders, redirecting your body in said direction before you saw him as well. Getting closer to the group, the two of you smiled in relief when you noticed they had managed to take over a booth.

“Where’s the rest?” He asked Han, realising only half of the group was there.

Jisung shrugged. “Some went to get drinks, some are dancing”.

Hyunjin gave him a quick nod before turning back to you. “I’ll go get us drinks” he informed you. “Cranberry vodka is it? Or do you want something else?”

“Cranberry vodka is perfect” you smiled, finding it the sweetest how he remembered such a small detail like your drink of choice. “Should I go with you?”

He shook his head no, motioning for you to take a seat. “It’s okay, I’ll be right back”.

You gave him a smile, nodding for him to go and watching him and Han disappear into the crowd before you sat down, sliding towards the empty spot next to Minho, who was already enjoying his drink.

“Having fun so far?” He tried to initiate small talk.

Your eyebrows furrowed, leaning slightly closer to him, as you had not been able to hear him. “What?”

“Are you having fun?” He spoke over the music.

You nodded, a smile curving up your lips. “Yeah, you guys are fun. Although I’ve mostly been glued to Hyunie all night, which must be annoying”.

Minho chuckled, shaking his head in amusement. If you only knew, you being stuck to him was all Hyunjin ever wanted.

“Nah, he’s okay with it” he reassured you. “He was really excited about you joining us”.

Your smile brightened, feeling like a weight had just been lifted off your shoulders. “That’s good to know…” you mumbled more to yourself.

“Hey, we’re going to dance!” Haeun caught your attention from the other side of the booth, gesturing to herself and another girl next to her. “You wanna come?”

You politely denied with a smile. “I’m waiting for Hyunjin, maybe later!”

They both smiled back at you, standing up and rushing towards the rest of the group.

“Aren’t you joining the rest over there?” You asked Minho, catching on the way he was looking at them as well.

“Probably will once the alcohol hits” he confessed with a small smirk, getting a light laugh from you.

“Oh, so you’re into Minho then” a female voice spoke loudly from right behind you.

Turning around, you were met with Dahye, who was now sitting down next to you and staring at you with what you could recognize as a cynical smile.

Now, you didn’t have a problem with her so far, but the way it was becoming a habit of hers to make assumptions about your relationships with people was really beginning to annoy you.

“What?” You raised an eyebrow.

“You’re not into Hyunjin but into Minho” she took a sip of her drink. “I’ve got nothing to worry about then”.

“I’m not into anyone” you clarified.

“Good, because Hyunjin and I have a thing going on, so it’d be really messed up for you to come in between” she mindlessly played with the straw. “Not like he’d pay attention to you anyway, you seem way too mature and he’s into girls more his age, like me”.

Before you could reply, a very loud scoff was heard from Minho.

“Is bullshit all that ever comes out of your mouth?” He practically yelled over the music, getting dumbfounded looks from the rest of his friends in the booth.

Her mouth remained shut, shrugging ever so nonchalantly before she took another sip of liquor. Minho rolled his eyes, standing up and motioning for you to slide to his previous seat, so he could take your place instead and keep Dahye from interacting with you anymore.

“Don’t listen to her, she’s just jealous” he leaned in to say in more of a whisper.

Choosing to say nothing and to just let it slip, you nodded understandingly. In all honesty, though, you hardly understood what was going on.

Minho said that she was jealous, and you got that, it was clear that she had a thing for Hyunjin and it must’ve sucked to see him arrive with someone else. You knew you would’ve felt the same had you been in her shoes. But you had already explained that you were Hyunjin’s sister’s best friend, and that the only reason he invited you was because she was out of town. On top of that, you had also just made it known that you weren’t interested in anyone — not Hyunjin, not Minho, not any of their friends at all. So why wouldn’t she just drop it?

You disliked the way she was handling the whole situation, but you tried to understand her. The side of you that knew what it felt like to have feelings for someone and fear they were into someone else, tried its best to sympathize with her.

You were pulled out of your thoughts when Hyunjin arrived, loudly announcing that Han had stayed back and joined the rest of the group on the dance floor.

His previous smile faltered and his eyebrows furrowed when he realised that not only had Dahye joined your side of the booth, but also that you and Minho had switched places. One single look at his very annoyed friend, however, was enough for him to guess the whole picture.

Just as you had done a minute ago, he decided to say nothing, instead handing you your drink and smiling when you thanked him and squeezed up against Jihoo next to you, to make some space for him.

“Everything alright?” He asked, unable to hide his worry.

“Mhm…” you took a sip of your drink. “Apparently I’m into Minho now”.

“Wait, what?”

Minho nudged him to catch his attention before he could fully panic. “That’s what your admirer accused her of”.

Hyunjin rolled his eyes. That was one hell of a jump scare you just gave him.

“Why’d she think that anyway?”

“We were just talking and I guess we got too close since we couldn’t hear each other” you explained, chuckling to yourself when you realised you were just as close to Hyunjin now. “Just like we are now, she must be back to thinking I’m into you”.

Now, that was something he could deal with; Dahye —or anyone else for that matter— believing you were into him. That simple thought made him happy enough to let it slide just how close you had apparently been to his friend minutes ago.

A bright smile parted his lips, trying to play it cool by taking a sip of his drink, only for it to be erased the moment Dahye called him from next to Minho.

“Hyunjin, let’s go dance?”

He shook his head no. “I’m fine, thanks”.

“Yah,” you whispered-shouted, gently nudging him, which earned you a confused look by him. “Go have fun”.

“I am having fun,” he brought his drink up to his lips. “Right here”.

“Aw, come on” she insisted, reaching over Minho to hold Hyunjin’s wrist — needless to say, it took him less than a second to snatch his hand away. “You can still enjoy your drink on the dance floor”.

Not giving her an answer, his eyes fixed on you, and for some reason that was all it took for you to get it all wrong — because the scene you were seeing in front of you was the one of a girl who was head over heels for Hyunjin, trying her best to spend some time with him, and a very troubled Hyunjin who didn’t want to leave you alone. After all, he had invited you to join him and his friends that night, therefore, it was only rational that he’d think of it as rude to leave you all alone to go dance with someone else. Or so you thought.

So, not wanting to be the one holding him back, you did the most reasonable thing you could come up with in that moment: show him you could have fun on your own and he didn’t need to be glued to you making sure you were.

“Minho, you wanna dance?”

Not only did Minho’s head snap in your direction, but so did Hyunjin’s.

“Me?” He asked, taken aback as ever.

“Yeah” you smiled, already getting up to get out of the booth. “We can join Han and the rest”.

Feeling like a deer caught in the headlights, Minho’s first instinct was to look at Hyunjin, hopelessly looking for approval. Hyunjin, on the other hand, was too busy staring up at you to even notice his friend’s cry for help.

When he invited you to join them that night, he had completely overlooked the fact that you could end up bonding with someone else. He was blinded by the idea of him being the closest to you and therefore you not leaving his side, which was only intensified considering you’d been stuck together all night, but now you were asking Minho to dance with you instead of him, and he realised he had only played himself.

“Come onnn, the alcohol must be hitting at least a little bit by now” you teased him for his previous statement, motioning towards the dance floor.

“I mean, y-yes, sure” Minho stuttered, and only then, hearing his answer, Hyunjin’s glaring eyes fixed on him. “Maybe we could all go?”

His suggestion managed to calm Hyunjin down. Sure, he hated how Dahye was being included and how she’d most definitely end up dancing with him since you had asked Minho to, but it was the best his friend could do given the circumstances, and he was thankful for it.

“Yeah, let’s go” Hyunjin agreed, standing up as well and, much to his disappointment, being followed by a very happy Dahye.

He had definitely played himself.

-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡

Although your plan had partially failed, given you weren’t able to leave Hyunjin and Dahye alone, you were still decided to make the most of it and have a good time.

Nevertheless, roughly twenty minutes on the dance floor were enough for you to realise that having fun and ignoring Dahye’s behaviour towards you wouldn’t be as easy as it was during dinner. Because, although you did dance with Minho at first and she got to be with Hyunjin for a while, it only took a few minutes for the whole group to get together and end up goofily dancing around in a messy circle.

Hyunjin naturally gravitated towards you, and so did you towards him, for at the end of the day he was the one you came with and the one you wanted to be with the most, but every time he tried to talk to you over the music or just get closer to you for the sake of it, the girl next to him would try to draw his attention back to her.

You didn’t know whether to be annoyed or to feel bad for her, finding yourself acting oblivious to her poor attempts most of the time. It wasn’t your business anyway, but something she and Hyunjin had to figure out.

Even then, when she tugged at Hyunjin’s arm to pull him to her when you tried to come close to his ear in order to say something to him, you realised you had enough of this one-sided battle.

Gently grabbing his wrist right after he pulled away from her grasp and Haeun came to the rescue by making Dahye dance with her instead, you looked at the time on his watch. It was only a little past eleven, and you decided that was good enough for you to go back home.

Placing a hand on his shoulder and motioning for him to lean down so you could speak closer to his ear like you had previously tried to, you stood on your tiptoes to meet him halfway. “Can you hand me the claim ticket to go get my bag? I’ll bring it back before leaving”.

His eyebrows furrowed. “You wanna leave?”

You nodded. “Yeah, but you stay here. I’ll call a taxi, you don’t need to come with me”.

“Is something wrong?” He couldn’t help but ask.

“No, but—” you were cut off by a guy dancing behind you bumping into you. Your first instinct was to laugh it off, and Hyunjin’s was to pull you to him.

“Let’s go get our things and talk outside” he raised his voice over the music once again. “It’s too chaotic in here”.

You simply nodded, deciding to look past the fact that he was getting his jacket as well, and wanting to believe it only had to do with him going outside until you left and not wanting to freeze in the meantime.

Once on the street, you were thankful to breathe in some fresh air, even if it was cold as hell compared to how it was inside the club. Hyunjin ended up going against his fantasy of seeing you in the jacket he had arrived in, and giving you his puffer coat once again instead. You were far done complaining by now anyway, for it was doing wonders to keep you warm.

“Is the taxi coming?” He asked, shoving his phone into his pocket after letting his friends know you were leaving.

“Mhm…” you nodded, looking up from your phone and catching the way he was rubbing his hands together and blowing some hot breath in them. “Should be here in the next five minutes”.

“It’s not even midnight yet, though…” he pointed out. “What happened?”

“Nothing happened, really, I just…” you shrugged, a shy smile curving up your lips. “Am I allowed to say it?”

“Say what?” He wondered.

“I feel like I’m cockblocking you”.

“What?” To say he was astonished was an understatement. “Cockblocking me? You?”

“Yeah, with Dahye”.

“With Dahye?!”

You laughed, shaking your head as you looked down at your phone, seeing the taxi be only four minutes away now.

“Have I not made it clear enough that I don’t like her?”

“But you could if you weren’t so closed off to give her a chance” you smiled. “I feel like I’m keeping you from getting a midnight kiss and maybe even more by being here because you’re kind of obliged to stick with me, or maybe you feel uncomfortable with me seeing that side of you because I’m Yeji’s friend and I could snitch on you or something”.

Hyunjin blinked rapidly, trying to take in the nonsense that had just come out of your mouth.

“I’m not obliged to, I want to be with you” he clarified. “And I couldn’t care less about you snitching on me to Yeji, I’ve got lots of shit on her anyway. That’s not it at all”.

“But she—”

“I don’t know what makes you think I want to kiss Dahye at midnight or whatever, because I—just,” he sighed. “It’s kind of a long story”.

“Ugh, just when my taxi’s almost here,” you whined, looking up from your phone and to the street. “You can go back inside, but I’m very intrigued now so maybe we can catch up later?”

“No, I’m leaving with you”.

“I can leave alone, though. You don’t have to worry about me, Hyun…jin? Hyun?” Your eyebrows furrowed, pensively. “Is Hyun okay? Should I stick to Hyunjin?”

“What?”

“Dahye said you hate being called Hyunie,” you reminded him. “I’ve been calling you that all these years, I’m sorry”.

“Y/N, no. Please don’t,” he sighed heavily, throwing his head back as he felt like pulling his hair out. “Don’t listen to anything she says”.

“But—”

“But nothing, she knows nothing” he cut you off. “I only hate it when she calls me that. I’ve told her multiple times not to”.

“Are you sure?” You hesitated.

He nodded, coming closer to you. “Like I told her earlier tonight, you can call me whatever you want”.

“Even if it’s something ridiculous like pudding?” You smirked, and he snorted, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Who are you, Harley Quinn?”

“Don’t test me, I will come up with something embarrassing to call you in front of your friends”.

Before he could bite back, your taxi pulled over in front of you.

“You should go back to them now” you motioned towards the club, walking towards the car.

“I don’t want you to welcome the new year alone, though” he followed hot on your heels.

You smiled sweetly. “Trust me, you did more than enough for me tonight. I had a lot of fun thanks to you, Hyunie, you don’t need to worry about me at all”.

He smiled softly, loving that you were back to calling him that.

“Would it change anything if I said I want to be with you at midnight?”

“Possibly…” you felt your face heat up. “But I want you to have fun with your friends”.

“Okay then, how about this,” he began, knowing he didn’t have much time to negotiate right then and opening the door for you. “I leave with you now, we spend the countdown together, and then I come back here afterwards”.

Pondering your choices for a quick second, and knowing he was just as obstinate as you, you gave in.

“Okay,” you smiled, entering the car for once and for all. “I expect you at my door ready to come back here as soon as midnight hits, though”.

-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡

You made it back to your place barely twenty minutes before midnight.

You were relieved to be able to take off your heels, rushing to set the coffee table in your living room the best you could with what you had at home — that being a few snacks and a bottle of white wine, as your original plan before Hyunjin invited you to spend new year’s eve with him was to eat and drink alone while watching TV and scrolling through your phone.

He tried to help you set everything up, but you were adamant on him relaxing on your couch while you took care of it. After all, he was the one to treat you all night, now it was your time to take care of him.

Once everything was done, and Hyunjin was quietly switching channels to find one covering the new year’s celebration not to miss the countdown, you excused yourself to quickly change into something more comfortable, since, unlike him, you weren’t going out again.

“How long until midnight?” You asked, fixing your hair while you re-entered the living room in a dark blue sleepwear.

“Twelve minutes” he announced, gesturing towards the TV.

“I was afraid we wouldn’t make it” you confessed, earning a laugh from him as you slumped on the couch.

“Good thing the club wasn’t that far from your place” Hyunjin chuckled, handing you a glass of the wine he opened while you changed in your room.

“Honestly I didn’t care about missing the countdown, but then you came here with me and I was afraid I’d make you miss it”.

“Worst case scenario, we celebrated in the taxi” he shrugged.

“As opposed to you getting to be all hyped up spending it with your friends at the club?” You questioned, then shaking your head in denial. “I would’ve felt so bad”.

He chuckled, taking a sip of wine. “I wouldn’t have minded”.

“No, but I’m sorry I felt like leaving earlier” you pouted. “We should’ve just gone back inside”.

“The taxi was already there,” he pointed out. “And in all honesty I wouldn’t have made you go back there when I knew you were uncomfortable. Dahye kinda ruined it for me too anyway”.

“Right…” you mumbled. “So what is it with her?”

He sighed heavily, making you laugh over how stressed out he seemed just by thinking of it.

“Okay so first of all, she’s not even part of our friend group” he began. “She’s Haeun’s cousin and she always manages to get her to invite her to our hangouts, which is really annoying since she isn’t friends with most of us”.

“You invited me, though?”

“It’s different” he argued. “You’re nothing like her, and my friends really like you”.

“She doesn’t seem that bad?” You tried to reason, and the glare you got from him was enough to let you know she was. “Don’t give me that look, she looked pretty nice to everyone but me”.

“Yeah, that’s…” he sighed again. “She’s had a thing for me for like three years now, and I made the awful mistake of kissing her when I got wasted one night after breaking up with Seoyun and now she won’t leave me alone”.

“Hold on, hold on, hold on” you sat up straight, leaving your glass on the coffee table to focus on him entirely. “You kissed her?! Seoyun? Who’s Seoyun?”

And then it hit him, how you never really knew about his first girlfriend. Because you weren’t as close back then.

Somehow, spending these past three days with you made your fall-out feel minuscule, like you’d only spent a couple of months apart at most. It was only then that he got a reality check and got hit by the fact that you had missed almost four years of each other’s life.

Although you kept in touch as much as you could, he now realised how superficial your conversations and interactions had remained.

“Right,” he laughed nervously. “Um, she was my girlfriend. And yes, I kissed Dahye…”

“And now you’re surprised that she’s obsessed with you?”

He snorted, pinching the bridge of his nose as he lamented. “I was drunk. Wasted, actually. I wouldn’t even remember if it weren’t for the fact that Han and Minho won’t let me live it down”.

You chuckled, imagining just how much shit they must’ve given him for it. “It was only a one time thing then?”

“Yeah, I think it was like the second time we saw each other, didn’t know how pushy she was back then” he ran a hand through his hair. “But then after that night she expected more and I explained to her that I was drunk as hell and I tend to get really touchy in that state and that it meant nothing to me—”

“Ouch?”

“I sugarcoated it, okay?” He squinted his eyes at you. “But she’s been very insistent since then and I’ve told her so many times that I want nothing to do with her, that I… I don’t know, my patience ran out, I can’t really be nice about it anymore”.

“I get it…” you mumbled, staring to your lap. “It must be really annoying that she won’t take no for an answer after all these years. Sorry I tried to set you up with her in a way, I didn’t know”.

Hyunjin smiled, loving how easy it was to talk to you — how you never really judged him, but tried to understand him and his choices instead.

“It’s okay…” he mumbled as well. “Just please don’t try to leave me alone with her again, I said I wanted to stay with you back then”.

“You didn’t really say that” you argued with a smirk, having him shake his head and bring his cup to his mouth. “But I know better now, won’t do it again”.

“Thank you” he sighed in relief, and you giggled, reaching for your glass and taking a small sip of wine before you looked at him again.

“You said it was after you broke up with… Sooyun?”

“Seoyun” he corrected. “Yes”.

“I only knew about Nara. Was this before her?” You tilted your head.

“Yeah, a few months before her” he explained. “Seoyun and I dated for like three months by the end of 2021, then that thing with Dahye happened, and then I dated Nara in like middle 2022. That’s pretty much the timeline”.

“And I’m hoping Dahye stopped insisting when you got together with Nara?”

“As if” he scoffed. “Nara couldn’t stand her. It’s good that she doesn’t have my number and the only times we interact are when she tags along in our hangouts, otherwise it would’ve been so much worse than it was”.

“Next time you get a girlfriend, I say you block her on every social media”.

“I’ll block her on everything if you do the same with Mingyu” he playfully held his pinky up for you to seal the promise.

What he got instead, was a throaty laugh coming out of your mouth as you lightly slapped his hand away. “You’re an idiot”.

“I think it’s pretty reasonable, though?”

“We’ll see” you played along. “You need to get a girlfriend first in order for me to follow through”.

“I can block her right now, I don’t care” he stated, taking his phone out of his pocket.

“Stop!” You laughed, stopping him from unlocking it. “There’s no really need to just yet”.

Rolling his eyes, he let his phone fall on the couch. “You’re no fun”.

You chuckled, taking another sip as the living room fell silent and your mind went through everything you had just talked about. You surely had missed a lot.

You had missed him a lot.

“I can’t believe I never knew about Seoyun…”

“I mean, not even my sister knew back then, it wasn’t that serious…” he swirled the drink in his hand. “And we didn’t really talk that much anymore back then, so…”

“Yeah… sorry about that” you smiled bittersweetly. “It was my fault we drifted away. I’m sorry, Hyunie”.

“What do you mean it was your fault?” His eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

You shifted in your seat uncomfortably. “Mingyu didn’t like me having guy friends. Girl friends he was fine with up to a certain extent, but he just… was a little possessive”

He felt his blood boil. “You never told me that”.

“Like you said, we didn’t really talk much back then anymore” you smiled weakly. “But yeah, I didn’t see it as a problem because I was so in love with him that it made me feel good to know that he wanted me all to himself, as idiotic as it sounds, so I ended up pulling away from most of my friends. Chan was the only guy friend I kept throughout our relationship, mainly because he’s been my best friend since high school. Mingyu still was a bit wary at first but Chan’s where I drew the line”.

“Couldn’t you have drawn the line with me, too?”

Hyunjin tried to make his words come off as a lighthearted joke, but the weak tone in his voice and the hurt look in his eyes let you know he was serious, regardless of the smile adorning his mouth.

“I tried, Hyunie. I really tried” you confessed.

“You did?” His eyes softened.

“Mhm…” you ran a hand through your hair. “You mean a lot to me, I loved the way our friendship was back then, but Mingyu just had this… he was convinced you had a thing for me, and he would go on and on about it”.

Oh.

“Then again, according to him everyone had a thing for me” you rolled your eyes at the memory. “So please don’t take it to heart, I know you didn’t and it was all in his mind. I tried to reason with him plenty of times, but he just wouldn’t listen”.

“I understand…” he mumbled. “It’s okay…”

All this time, he thought he had made a good job at hiding his feelings for you. Apparently not.

Of course they would be obvious as hell to the one other person who was in love with you back then.

He hated to admit it, but he could see where Mingyu was coming from; at least when it came to him. He could’ve handled it better for sure, but he knew that if he was in Mingyu’s shoes and he knew you were close with someone who had a thing for you, he wouldn’t like it either.

“I wish I hadn’t pushed everyone away because of him…” you lamented.

“At least you still have Yeji and Chan” he tried to cheer you up.

“Yeah, but now I feel like a third wheel most of the time” you confessed rather bitterly. “It’s not their fault at all, and they do make me feel included, but that’s just how I feel. It was great before because there were four of us, but now it’s just me and ugh”.

Watching you throw your head back in exasperation, he bit his lip, staring into his glass as he debated on whether to say the words that were dancing on the tip of his tongue.

“Maybe we could…”

Your head snapped back to him, waiting for him to finish his sentence.

“Maybe we could what?” You wondered when he wouldn’t.

“Maybe we could take up where we left off?”

“Where we left off?”

“Yeah, you know… I mean, I hope it wasn’t only me, but I feel like we were really close back then? Before he came into the picture” he explained, feeling nervous as ever under your piercing stare. “Like, we’d text everyday, we’d see each other quite often too… we didn’t have to rely on Yeji to interact, and… if you’re up for it, I would like to go back to that”.

All nervousness washed away when you smiled.

Nodding your head softly, you couldn’t help the small giggle that escaped your mouth, making the pace of his heartbeats skyrocket.

“I would really love that”.

“You would?” He asked breathily.

“Mhm…” you reassured him. “I don’t know if you missed the part where I said you mean a lot to me, but I’d love for us to be close again”.

Hyunjin smiled shyly, lowering his head and begging his cheeks not to give away the beautiful mess he was feeling inside.

As if saved by the bell, your eyes went to the TV for a second, and only that took for you to jump in your place and gesture for him to take a look as well.

Fifteen seconds until midnight.

Fourteen.

Thirteen.

“Twelve minutes already?” You asked, dumbfoundedly looking at him.

Hyunjin laughed. Had you not looked at the TV in that moment, you would probably have continued talking into the next year without noticing.

Ten.

Nine.

“To pick up where we left off?” He offered a small toast, raising his glass.

Six.

You chuckled, happily nodding your head before raising your glass as well. “To pick up where we left off”.

Three. You counted together.

Two.

One.

Clinking your glasses together, the two of you gave it a poor attempt at cheering, resulting in both of you laughing as you leaned in for a comfortable hug.

“Happy new year, Hyunie” you cooed, resting your chin on his shoulder.

He smiled softly, mimicking your small action and gently rubbing his thumbs up and down your sides. “Happy new year, Y/N”.

Starting the new year together and with the promise of becoming close again, could only make the two of you excited, hopeful even, for what was to come.

Needless to say, he was not going back to the club after midnight.

tag list: @jehhskz @iknowyouknowminho @doohnut @saintcosette @lailac13 @kayleefriedchicken @rikibun @yongbokkiesworld @seungzsmin @beautifulcolorgarden @hyunetopia @velvetmoonlght @automaticpersonabatpaper @httpdwaekki @brinnalaine @wondering-out-loud @feelikecinderella @nujeskz @amarecerasus @liknws @nhyunn @midsoulz @tirena1 @tinyelfperson @thatonexcgirl @iovecb97 @hynier @phenomenalgirl9 @your-favorite-pirate @jin-from-the-block @yearofthetiger25 @quokkacidal @stayconnecteed @kwanisms @yoonguurt @143hyunes @iiriam @curlytxe @hyunlvrs @allyrarara @machaandlofi @mehli-00 @justiceforvillains @minhosprettywife @whats-my-question @armystay89 @jaiuneamesolitaiire @hyeon-yi @skzstannie @onlyhyunjin @shyshyshytwice @nicoleparadas @​broken-glowsticks @sweetbokji

with or without you (pt. 2)

pairing: bang chan x female reader

summary: bottling you're feelings for so long, it begins to hurt. until you mention it.

word count: 5k

warnings: angst, heh not edited

a/n: long awaited pt 2 :0 hope u enjoy!

part 1 | masterlist | requests

You step through the door into the bustling New Year’s Eve party, the energy of the celebration immediately wrapping around you. The room is aglow with twinkling lights, silver streamers hanging from the ceiling like a cascade of stars. Laughter and the clinking of glasses fill the air, blending with the upbeat music that pulses through the space. The festive decorations, the cheerful faces, and the warmth of the room create an illusion of happiness, but beneath it, you feel an unshakable heaviness.

As you make your way further inside, you’re greeted by familiar faces and a sea of conversation. You offer polite smiles and exchange pleasantries with friends, trying to immerse yourself in the festivities. But every smile you give feels hollow, every laugh you share rings a bit too loud, as if you’re trying too hard to mask the sadness that lingers just beneath the surface.

Your gaze repeatedly drifts across the room to where Chan stands, effortlessly charming in the midst of his own circle. He’s laughing, his eyes sparkling with genuine joy, and you can’t help but notice how his attention is focused entirely on his girlfriend. They’re huddled close, their shared warmth and intimacy glaringly evident. Chan’s hand rests lightly on her back, a gesture so simple yet so intimate that it feels like a physical manifestation of the distance between you and him.

You attempt to engage in conversations, chatting with friends and participating in the party’s various activities, but each interaction feels like a distraction from the growing void within you. You sip on your drink and join in the occasional dance, trying to lose yourself in the crowd. Yet, the more you try to fit in, the more isolated you feel, as if an invisible barrier separates you from the celebration’s true joy.

The festive cheer seems to mock your internal struggle. Every cheer, every toast, every burst of laughter only highlights the stark contrast between the lively atmosphere and the quiet ache that fills your heart. The New Year’s resolutions and hopeful wishes being shared around you feel like a cruel reminder of what you lack—a meaningful connection that you’ve always longed for but never quite grasped.

As you glance back at Chan, you see him and his girlfriend sharing a tender moment, their conversation filled with the kind of closeness you’ve always wished for. It’s a reminder that while you’re surrounded by people and festive cheer, your heart remains distant and unfulfilled. The realization that Chan’s attention is so completely focused on someone else adds an extra layer of discomfort to your already mixed emotions.

The countdown to midnight begins, the room brimming with anticipation and excitement. You stand on the periphery of the celebration, watching as people gather to mark the New Year. Despite the lively surroundings, your heart feels heavy, and the hopeful excitement in the air feels distant, almost unreachable.

When the clock strikes midnight and cheers erupt around you, you try to join in the festivities, but the joy feels muted. The contrast between the party’s exuberance and your own sense of longing is more pronounced than ever. As you try to find solace in the crowd, the reality of Chan’s relationship and your unspoken feelings weigh heavily on you, making the celebration feel less like a new beginning and more like a poignant reminder of what might never be.

— 

You seek refuge from the party's clamor by slipping into a quieter corner of the room, the muffled sounds of celebration barely reaching you in this dimly lit space. You lean against the wall, taking a deep breath to steady your racing thoughts. It’s a small escape from the overwhelming mix of emotions that the night has brought.

Just as you’re beginning to gather your composure, Chan appears, his warm smile cutting through the dimness. His eyes light up as he spots you, and he makes his way over with an easy confidence that only makes your heart ache more.

“Hey, Y/N,” Chan greets you, his voice carrying a cheerful lilt. “Mind if I join you for a bit?”

You force a smile and nod. “Of course, Chan. I was just taking a break from the noise.”

Chan settles beside you, his demeanor relaxed as he leans casually against the wall. The contrast between his ease and the turmoil within you is stark. As you both stand there, the surrounding festivities fade into a distant hum, leaving you to focus on the conversation at hand.

“How are you? Anything new” He smiles at you

“I've been talking to this guy, he's pretty sweet but its new” the lie rolls off your tongue so naturally

“Oh thats cool! Good for you.”

Chan begins talking about how it's good you're opening yourself up but you just tune it out.

“I’ve got some big news. I’ve been planning something special for hana, and I think it’s going to be amazing.”

Your heart sinks at the mention of his girlfriend, but you do your best to mask your discomfort. “Oh? What’s the surprise?”

Chan’s face lights up even more as he continues. “I’m taking her on a surprise weekend getaway to this cozy cabin in the mountains. She’s always wanted to go, and I think it’s the perfect way to celebrate the New Year.”

As Chan talks, his enthusiasm is palpable. He describes the details with such joy that it almost feels like a physical weight pressing down on you. Each word he speaks, each gesture he makes as he talks about his plans, feels like a painful reminder of the gap between you.

“That sounds wonderful,” you manage to say, your voice trembling slightly despite your efforts to sound upbeat. “I’m sure she’ll love it.”

Chan’s eyes soften with affection as he continues, oblivious to the emotional strain he’s causing. “I really hope so. I want to make this special for her. It’s been amazing, honestly, feeling this way about someone. I’ve been thinking a lot about our future together lately. It feels like everything’s falling into place.”

The words cut through you like a knife. You swallow hard, trying to keep your emotions in check. The idea of Chan and his girlfriend planning a future together is a sharp contrast to the unspoken feelings you’ve harbored in silence. You nod, though it feels like a hollow gesture. “That’s really great, Chan. I’m happy for you.”

He seems to sense your support, his smile widening. “Thanks. I really appreciate that. You know, you’ve always been such a great friend. Always there to listen, always supportive. It means a lot to me.”

Your heart aches at his words. You’ve been there for him, listening and supporting, all while hiding your own feelings. The weight of Chan’s gratitude feels heavy, a reminder of the love you’ve kept hidden. “I’m glad I could help,” you say, your voice barely steady. “That’s what friends are for, right?”

Chan’s gaze turns thoughtful as he reflects on your words. “Yeah, definitely. I just wanted you to know how much I value your support. It’s made a huge difference on me.”

As Chan’s attention shifts back to the party, you find yourself standing on the edge of the conversation, feeling a profound sense of distance. You try to focus on his words, but the reality of his relationship and your own unspoken feelings create a barrier between you.

Chan eventually excuses himself to rejoin his girlfriend and the rest of the guests, leaving you alone in the quiet corner. You watch him go, a mix of emotions swirling inside you. The conversation, meant to be a brief exchange, has only intensified the pain of your unspoken longing.

As the sounds of the party slowly return to your awareness, you’re left with the weight of Chan’s revelations and the harsh truth of your own feelings. The festive atmosphere of the party now feels like a distant, almost cruel backdrop to the raw, unspoken ache within you.

You take a deep breath, trying to compose yourself before rejoining the crowd. The party’s energy feels both enticing and out of reach, as if you’re caught between the joy of the celebration and the quiet ache of your heart. Each step you take back into the fray of the festivities is accompanied by the bittersweet sting of realizing that while the New Year brings new beginnings for others, for you, it is a poignant reminder of what remains unfulfilled.

—

As you weave through the crowd of sweaty drunks, your attention is caught by a quiet conversation taking place in a secluded corner. You stop short, your curiosity piqued despite your better judgment. The voices are soft but clear enough for you to make out, and the realization hits you with a jolt: it’s Chan and his girlfriend.

You try to retreat, to give them their privacy, but something anchors you to the spot. Chan’s voice, filled with affection, mingles with the soft tones of his girlfriend’s replies, and you find yourself unable to move.

“You know,” Chan says, his voice tender and filled with warmth, “I’ve been thinking about us a lot lately. I’m so glad I met you. I dont know where I would be without you ya know. It feels like everything is falling into place.”

Hana’s response is equally warm, her words filled with love. “Are you trying to tease me ahaha? But seriously I love that you're in my life, Channie. I never imagined dating someone so sweet, I really got lucky with you, didn't I?”

The words cut through you like shards of glass. The intimacy of their conversation, the depth of their connection, and the way Chan speaks about his future with her are like a painful reminder of what you’ve been silently yearning for. Your heart races, each beat a reminder of the disparity between your hidden feelings and Chan’s open affection for someone else.

Your internal monologue is a storm of conflicting emotions. How did you end up here, on the outside of the warmth you’ve always wanted? Chan’s love, so genuine and real, feels like a world apart from your own unspoken longing. You’ve been there for him through everything, silently harboring feelings that now seem to be nothing more than a distant dream. The realization that Chan’s heart belongs to someone else, someone who is now a tangible part of his life, leaves you feeling both hollow and devastated.

You can’t stay in the corner any longer. The weight of your emotions feels unbearable, and you need to escape. You retreat to a more secluded area of the party, a small alcove away from the noise and the festive lights. Your breathing is shallow, your heart pounding as you try to control the tidal wave of emotion crashing over you.

Once you’re hidden away from prying eyes, the façade you’ve maintained begins to crumble. Your hands tremble as you sink to the floor, your back against the wall. The tears start slowly, almost hesitant, but quickly turn into a torrent of uncontrollable sobs. The weight of Chan’s affection for someone else crashes over you, and you struggle to catch your breath, the sobs coming in ragged bursts.

You’re overwhelmed by a sense of rejection and despair, your emotions spilling out in a torrent of hysteria. The festive sounds from the party seem distant and unreal, a sharp contrast to the crushing sorrow you feel. You clutch at your chest, trying to steady your shaking body, but the effort only makes the tears flow harder. The realization that your love was never meant to be, that your hopes and dreams were just a fantasy, feels almost unbearable.

Every sob and shake of your body is a manifestation of the heartache that’s been simmering just beneath the surface. You cry out, the sound muffled against your knees, each sob a testament to the love you’ve kept hidden and the rejection you’ve now faced. The solitude of the alcove offers no comfort, only a stark reminder of how alone you feel.

As the tears begin to subside, you’re left with a deep, aching emptiness. The breakdown, though cathartic, leaves you feeling drained and vulnerable. You sit there, your breathing slowly returning to normal, but the pain remains. The celebration outside seems like a distant echo, a cruel reminder of a world that continues to move forward while you’re stuck in your own private torment.

You eventually rise to your feet, your legs feeling heavy and unsteady. With a final, deep breath, you prepare to rejoin the party, though the weight of your emotions lingers heavily. The night, once filled with potential and hope, now feels like a stark reminder of the love you’ll never fully grasp.

— 

The lively energy of the party feels like a distant echo as you stand on the outskirts, battling the storm of emotions swirling inside you. The earlier meltdown has left you feeling raw and exposed, and the festive atmosphere only serves to highlight the void in your heart.

Felix, ever the perceptive friend, catches sight of your distress from across the room. Without hesitation, he makes his way to you, concern etched in every feature. He’s always been there for you, the one person who could sense when something was wrong, and tonight is no exception.

“Y/N,” Felix calls out softly, his voice laced with worry as he approaches. “You don’t look okay. What’s going on?”

You swallow hard, trying to keep your composure, but the pain is too overwhelming. The moment Felix’s kind eyes meet yours, the dam breaks, and you find yourself spilling everything you've bottled up. “I heard Chan talking to Hana. He’s so happy, so in love with her, and I… I feel like I’m losing him. I feel so bad for having these feelings when he's so happy, I can't ruin it for him, I just don't know what to do because I just really wish that was me over there.”

Felix’s expression softens with understanding as he listens, his hand reaching out to gently touch your arm. “Ynnie, Hey. It's okay. This must suck for you, you two have been friends for long. Maybe you just need space and it'll pass?”

A tear slips down your cheek as you struggle to put your emotions into words. “It’s more than that, Felix. I’ve been holding onto this hope, this dream that maybe one day he’d see me the way I see him. But now… now I know it’s never going to happen. And it hurts so much. How do I just let go?”

Felix’s eyes are full of sympathy as he searches for the right words. “I don't know, I really don't. I think you just need to move on, find somebody who loves you and sees you. Theres no point in chasing something that isnt going to happen; youre just hurting yourself.”

But you shake your head, the idea of moving on too painful to even consider. “I don’t want to move on, Felix. I can’t. I’ve loved him for so long, and the thought of letting go… it feels impossible. How do I stop loving him when every part of me is still holding onto him?”

Felix frowns, his concern deepening. “I get it, I really do. But holding onto this is only going to hurt you more in the long run. It’s not fair to yourself to keep clinging to something that isn’t there.”

The words sting, and you feel your heart clench in resistance. “But what if I’m not ready to give up on him? What if I can’t? I know it’s stupid, but I can’t just turn off my feelings, lix. He means everything to me.”

Felix sighs, his hand squeezing yours in a gesture of comfort. “It’s not stupid. Love isn’t something you can just switch off. But Y/N, you can’t keep hurting yourself like this. You have to think about what’s best for you.”

“I know you’re trying to help,” you whisper, tears brimming in your eyes again, “but I just… I can’t. I’m not ready to move on, and I don’t know if I ever will be. He’s too important to me.”

Felix’s expression is a mix of sadness and understanding as he pulls you into a hug. “I’m here for you, no matter what.”

You cling to Felix, grateful for his support, even as the ache in your heart refuses to fade. The thought of moving on feels like an insurmountable task, and deep down, you know you’re not ready to let go of the love you have for Chan. It’s a love that feels all-consuming, impossible to extinguish, even in the face of reality.

— 

As the New Year begins, you resolve to take charge of your life, determined to leave behind the emotional turmoil that has consumed you for far too long. The decision doesn’t come easily—each moment of clarity is hard-fought, the pain of unrequited love still sharp in your chest. But with the arrival of January, you know that something has to change. You can’t keep living in the shadow of what could have been, tethered to a hope that only brings heartache. The first you need is space; and that in itself feels like the impossible. He’s been such a constant presence in your life, but now, every interaction with him is a reminder of the love that will never be yours. You can only hope it will help ease the grip he has on your heart.

hiii ynnie are u busy 2day :3 what r u up 2 hehe

hai chan um a bit yea jst some stuff

anything exciting?

not really

It feels strange, almost wrong, to be so brief with him when you're used to sharing every detail of your day, but you force yourself to send the message without overthinking it. The moment it’s sent, a pang of guilt hits you, but you remind yourself that this is necessary. 

haiiii ynnieeee

heyy chan

missing hanging out with you wanna grab some coffee?

ahh im sorry i cant :/ iv been so busy lately maybe this weekend?

oo im going on a getaway hana this weekend maybe next week?

maybe Ill let you know know if im free

Each text feels like a small victory, a step toward reclaiming your emotional independence, even as it leaves you feeling hollow inside.

You throw yourself into new activities, trying to fill the void left by the emotional distance you’re creating. An art class that’s been on your bucket list for years becomes your new escape, a place where you can lose yourself in thoughts and daydreams even if only for an hour. You reconnect with old friends, people you’d drifted away from in your tunnel vision focused on Chan. You even go on a few dates, meeting new people who don’t carry the weight of unfulfilled dreams. But despite your best efforts, thoughts of Chan linger, creeping into your mind when you least expect it. Late at night, when the world is quiet, you find yourself scrolling through old photos, each image a painful reminder of what you once shared and what you’ll never have.

You even found a new cafe, its a place where you go to read and enjoy the quiet. 

The café is warm, the smell of coffee and freshly baked pastries enveloping you like a comforting embrace. You settle into a corner, the soft murmur of conversation around you creating a peaceful backdrop. But as you turn a page, a familiar laugh catches your attention, a sound that’s both sweet and bitter in your memory. Your heart skips a beat, and you glance up, only to see Chan. He’s sitting by the window, sunlight casting a golden halo around him, but it’s not the light that makes your breath catch. It’s the sight of Hana, sitting across from him, her eyes filled with the kind of affection you’ve always longed for. They’re leaning close, their heads almost touching as they talk in hushed tones, lost in their own world.

You can’t tear your gaze away, even as your chest tightens with a familiar ache. Chan’s face lights up as he talks to her, his smile wide and genuine in a way that makes your heart clench. Hana reaches out, brushing a strand of hair from his face, and the tenderness in the gesture nearly brings tears to your eyes. Before you can look away, they lean in, and you watch as they share a soft, lingering kiss. It’s a simple moment, a gesture of love between two people who belong together, but to you, it feels like a knife twisting in your heart. The café, once warm and inviting, now feels suffocating, the walls closing in as you struggle to breathe.

You close your book with trembling hands, unable to bear another moment of watching them together. Gathering your things, you rush out of the café, the cold air hitting you like a slap as you step outside. Tears blur your vision, and you walk aimlessly, trying to escape the pain that’s gnawing at your insides. You’ve worked so hard to distance yourself, to let go of the feelings that have held you captive, but seeing them together has undone all your progress. The wound you thought was healing has been ripped open, leaving you raw and vulnerable.

As you wander through the city streets, your resolution to move on feels shaky, uncertain. You replay the moment over and over in your mind, each time more painful than the last. Why can’t you let go? Why does it hurt so much to see him happy with someone else? The questions swirl in your mind, but deep down, you know the answer. Your heart is still tethered to Chan, even if you don’t want it to be. No matter how much distance you create, no matter how many new experiences you try to embrace, the truth remains: you’re not ready to let him go, not yet. And maybe, a small voice inside you whispers, you never will be.

The winter wind bites at your cheeks, but you barely feel it as you walk, lost in your thoughts. The city bustles around you, life moving forward, but you feel stuck, frozen in a moment of pain that you can’t escape. You stop at a park bench, the cold metal biting through your coat, and sit down heavily. Tears spill over, running hot down your cold cheeks, and you bury your face in your hands, letting the sobs come. The resolution you made at the start of the year feels distant, like a dream you once had but can no longer grasp. You want to be strong, to move on, but the reality of your feelings is so much more complicated than you ever imagined.

Your phone buzzes, pulling you out of your despair. It's a text from Chan

hey, haven't heard from you much. everything okay?

yea, jst been super busy. sorry

You stare at the words, knowing they’re a lie, knowing they can’t convey the storm raging inside you. But you send it anyway, because what else can you do?

Another buzz, and you see his reply:

no worries. let’s catch up soon?

Your heart aches at the thought, but you know you can’t keep putting it off. You’ve been distant, but he hasn’t pushed, and now you’re left with a choice. 

sure, maybe next week.

It feels like a betrayal, agreeing to see him when you know it will only bring more pain, but the idea of cutting him out completely is too much to bear. You pocket your phone, the tears drying on your cheeks as you sit in silence, trying to reconcile your resolve with the reality of your feelings. You’ve relapsed, fallen back into the pain you’ve been trying so hard to escape, and the weight of it threatens to crush you. But even in this moment of despair, a small part of you clings to hope. Hope that one day, you’ll find the strength to truly move on, to let go of the love that’s only ever brought you pain. You’re not there yet, but maybe, just maybe, you’ll get there eventually.

—

The café feels both familiar and strange as you sit across from Chan, nursing a cup of coffee that’s long since gone cold. The world outside is moving on, as it always does, with people bustling by, oblivious to the turmoil inside you. You’re here, in the present, but your heart is weighed down by the past, by everything that could have been but never was. Chan is talking about something, his voice as warm and comforting as ever, but the words barely register. You force a smile, nodding at the right moments, all the while feeling the weight of the lies you’re about to tell.

“So,” Chan says, leaning forward slightly, his eyes full of concern. “You’ve been really busy, huh? We haven’t hung out much lately. Everything okay?”

You swallow the lump in your throat and nod. “Yeah, school’s been crazy. You know how it is, just trying to keep up with everything.” The lie slips out easily, but it leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. School isn’t the problem; it’s not what’s been keeping you away. It’s him, and the way every moment spent with him feels like a reminder of what you can’t have.

“And work?” he asks, genuinely curious, as if he’s been worrying about you more than he’s let on.

You force another smile, the kind that doesn’t reach your eyes. “Same old. Job’s keeping me on my toes. It’s good, though. I like staying busy.” Another lie. Work is just a distraction, something to fill the hours when you’re not consumed by thoughts of him.

Chan nods, seemingly satisfied with your answer, but there’s still a hint of concern in his eyes. “And that guy you mentioned last time? How’s that going?”

Your heart skips a beat at the mention of the guy—another fabrication you’ve woven to make it seem like you’re moving on, like you’re not hopelessly stuck on him. You hesitated before, but now there’s no turning back. “It’s... complicated,” you say, lowering your gaze to the table. “He’s giving me mixed signals. One day he’s all in, and the next, it’s like he’s pulling away. It’s frustrating.”

The words hang in the air, heavy with the irony of the situation. You’re not describing some imaginary guy; you’re talking about Chan, about how every interaction with him feels like a push and pull, a constant reminder of what you want but can’t have. But he doesn’t know that, and he never will.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Chan says softly, his brow furrowed in concern. “That sounds tough. If you ever need to talk about it, I’m here, okay? You know that right?”

The sincerity in his voice only makes it worse. You nod again, unable to trust yourself to speak. If you do, you’re afraid the floodgates will open, and everything you’ve been holding back will come pouring out. But you can’t let that happen. Not here, not now. So you swallow the words, the tears, the pain, and put on a brave face.

The rest of the conversation is a blur. You go through the motions, laughing at his jokes, offering bits of your life that aren’t too revealing, all the while feeling like you’re standing on the edge of a cliff, ready to fall. When it’s finally time to leave, you breathe a sigh of relief, but it’s short-lived. The moment you step outside, the cold air hits you, and the reality of what just happened crashes down.

You walk away from the café, your pace quickening as the emotions you’ve been suppressing start to rise to the surface. By the time you reach a secluded spot in the park, you’re trembling. The tears come suddenly, violently, as if they’ve been waiting for this moment to break free. You collapse onto a bench, burying your face in your hands as sobs wrack your body. It feels like the world is crumbling around you, like you’re being torn apart by the weight of your unspoken feelings.

You’ve reached your breaking point, and there’s no one here to catch you. No one to hold you and tell you it’s going to be okay. You’re alone, completely and utterly alone, and it’s devastating. The realization that you and Chan will never be together, that he’ll never know how deeply you love him, is like a dagger to the heart. It hurts more than anything you’ve ever felt, a pain so profound that it leaves you gasping for breath.

You cry until there are no tears left, until you’re empty and numb, sitting on that cold bench in the middle of winter, with nothing but your broken heart to keep you company. The world around you moves on, but you’re stuck in this moment, replaying every word, every lie, every smile that wasn’t quite real. You’ve tried so hard to be strong, to move on, but it’s all come crashing down. The love you’ve been holding onto is like a ghost, haunting you, and no matter how much you try to push it away, it lingers.

And so you sit there, alone in the dark, knowing that you have to let go but feeling like you never will. You’ve reached the end of the road, and all that’s left is the empty ache of unfulfilled dreams, the knowledge that you and Chan were never meant to be. And as you sit there, staring into the void, you realize that this is your reality now—living with the pain of a love that was never returned, and the hollow, endless silence that follows.

fin.

part 1 | masterlist | requests

Hello, english is not my first language so im sorry if u dont get what im saying but ILL TRY. So like ig thers the thing 'what Position are yall in' BUT IF like the members ask that and the reader IS ACTUALY DOING THE SHING SHING and they tell them like what they are in yk and WHAT IF theyre doing the shing shong w another member and ermm the like member who asks is like im gonna tell everybody kind of idk it doesnt (how do u write that) have to be like another member tho it just sound good w some members but honestly this sounded so much better in my head but idk😔 I LOVE UR WORK BTW KEEP WRITING OR I WILL DIEEE SAD AND OLD😝✌️

"What position y'all in?"

A/n: so i was about to reject this request because i dont like reader cheating, but then i thought what if i made it poly or like a thing where the roommates share her. You can read it as a relationship or as an arrangement, whatever you like

Warning: content of a sexual nature, including sexual language. Minors DNI

Masterlist

JeongChan dorm

Minsung dorm

Seunglix dorm

Hyunbin dorm

I do not, nor do I give anyone permission to, post my content on any other site. If you see it, please report it.