At This Point Anyone Who Sres My Rbs Know That I'm A Huge Sucker For Floof(fluff) And Cyute(cute) Stuff

At this point anyone who sres my rbs know that I'm a huge sucker for floof(fluff) and cyute(cute) stuff

I've wheezed so many times it's not even funny

Also Vil smooth in handling the situation

Who Does The Prefect Like? (Female Reader)

It was like any other day at Night Raven College. The birds were chirping, the gargoyles were glistening with the water they spouted from the previous night's rain, and mayhem was afoot. Today's form of trouble came in the shape of two cats. Leona was currently chasing Grim around the halls of the school, much to the surprise of the other students. It is historically more likely to find Leona lazing off somewhere trying to avoid his classes, but on this rare occasion, he was exerting enough energy to dead sprint after a certain resident of the Ramshackle dorm. This was, of course, noticed by the squad of first years that had become friends with the prefect, (Y/N). Leona almost bowled over Ace and Deuce in his haste with a fierce growl to move or they'd be fresh meat.

Turning to the others, Jack raised a single eyebrow, "I wonder what that's about?"

"I have no idea," stated Epel, his huge boyish eyes tracing the scene in shock, "What do you think (Y/N)? (Y/N)?!"

Looking around, there was no sight of the prefect who, just a moment prior, was with the group. Shaking his, Ace shrugged his shoulders and heaved a heavy sigh, "Where has she gone to?"

"She has been disappearing a lot lately. Skipping lunch plans we made, always texting someone, even disappearing over the weekends for extended periods... Do you think she has a boyfriend?" questions Deuce, gathering his scattered paperwork. 

Looking up from his apple carving, Epel blanches in disgust at the thought that just entered his head, "As long as it isn't Vil, I don't care who she's seeing."

"I swear," starts Ace, "if it's Riddle I will puke up everything in my stomach and then some."

Jack seemingly nods along with the conversation but his eyes show him to be in his own thoughts, "She does attend all of the unbirthday parties; however, she is strangely close to Jade Leech isn't she? I'll admit, that's one person that makes me wonder if her taste in relationships is... safe to say the least."

"Well, I think we should ask Sebek when we see him. After all, he's always attached to Malleus's side, except for supper. I'm sure we could find him during supper in the cafeteria and ask him what he knows. Maybe even Grim knows and will tell us. After all, he does live with her," states Ace as the group of friends continue their walk down the long hallway. 

Little to their knowledge, the clubroom door behind them was not locked. Normally it was school policy to lock the clubroom doors when the clubs are over, but this club never locked their door. A handy thing to know when you're in a pinch. Posters and other book-inspired illustrations adorned the literature clubroom's walls. Desks placed in a circle sat in the middle of the club room, while the pulled blinds kept the room dark and cool. An ideal location for any nerdy meetup or secret meetings.

"I think they're gone." whispers (Y/N), her voice piercing the tense silence that had filled the room.

Pulling her close, the man who abruptly and secretly yanked her into the room pulled her to him, "Yes, I suppose so. They are surprisingly unobservant."

"Vil... can you blame them?" she softly chuckles, worry and a twinge of guilt lacing her angelic voice. "I mean, Grim and Leona did almost bowl them over a couple of minutes ago."

Kissing her forehead, Vil gently smoothes (Y/N)'s hair while holding her in his arms, "Well, in the end, it helped us. I'm sure we'll be able to get out of the school what with the end of the day and clubs letting out it will be chaotic, but why don't I text Rook and have him meet up with us in the Pomefiore courtyard, hmmm?"

"While I don't put it past Rook to cause a big distraction," begins (Y/N) with a chuckle, "I'm pretty sure Leona and Grim have that handled all on their own for the majority. How about we see when we get there."

"Mmmmm... I'd believe so. Alright, my love, we'll plan as we go, and when we get there I'll order some food from my room for us to share. How does that sound to you?" whispers Vil, his mouth dangerously close to (Y/N)'s ear. 

Cupping Vil's perfect face, (Y/N) lets out a dreamy sigh, "Sounds perfect my love."

With a soft smile, Vil gently detaches from (Y/N) AND carefully pokes his head out the door. Once sure the coast is clear, he motions to (Y/N) quickly. Sprinting through the halls, the pair of lovers quickly make it out of the school and to the entrance of Pomefiore. They weren't so lucky as to avoid the evening throng of students coming in after their clubs. As predicted, Vil was right and Rook was exactly who they needed at this precise moment. Hiding, behind an apple tree in the open-air courtyard, and while letting out some tired laughs, the pair quickly dial Rook. 

"Ah! I had a feeling when you both disappeared you'd show up here. It seems my intuition was correct yet again." comes Rook's excited voice through the phone. 

While (Y/N) got a good laugh out of Rook's normal antics, Vil quickly explained the situation to the vice-housewarden. After a couple of seconds, Rook's voice comes back through the phone's speaker, "So you want me to stir up the little students Roi de Poison? Sounds like a challenge. Give me five minutes!"

As Rook said, five minutes was all it took for the dorm to be in a tizzy over some useless matter and for Vil and (Y/N) to sneak right past the Pomefiore student body, Epel included. Quietly slipping into Vil's room, the couple flops down onto the plush bed to cuddle each other. Pulling out his phone, Vil orders the normal meal for the two of you while you scour the internet for an interesting movie. 

"(Y/N) dear?" whispers Vil, gently pulling you away from the screen and down onto the bed with him. You quickly snuggle into his awaiting side while he plays with your beautiful locks of hair. "We've been dating for a while now, and I was wondering if... maybe, you would, uhm, consider going on an official date with me?"

"Vil, I thought you wanted to keep this quiet to shield me from fan hate. The whole reason we're hiding in the first place is that you wanted to." whispers (Y/N), nervously into Vil's side. "I don't know if I can handle it yet, and I don't want to make you feel like you have to go public,"

Grabbing his phone, Vil opens it to a certain site while continuing to massage down (Y/N)'s arms. "I was thinking about that. We could go public and if needed I would hire you a personal security agent. You wouldn't even know they're there, and I can get you a specially made phone. This site has enough information that I could find whoever I need. I'll look through and block all of the hate mail before you even look at it. I promise I'll protect you my darling. Regardless of the outcome, we'll handle it together side by side. As for me, I'm ready. I don't want this to make you feel like I'm keeping you tucked away like some secret. I just wanted time for the two of us before we got hounded by the fans and paparazzi."

"Alright, Vil... if that's how you feel, then I suppose I should roll with it and love you no matter the situation, after all, I love you Vil Schoenheit," whispers (Y/N), tiredly as her hunger starts to invade her body and mind. 

Gently running his finger over his cheek, Vil places a soft kiss on your forehead, "And I love you more, (Y/N) (L/N)."

Suddenly the door banged open, "I don't know why you ordered in food Vil, but I don't really care, just be grateful I brought it to you warm instead of letting it get... (Y/N)?!"

"H-Hey E-E-Epel..." stutters out (Y/N) nervously, afraid of the younger student's reaction to the situation. 

Swiftly, Vil is gracefully and meticulously in front of Epel, "Epel, thank you for running up the food but please remember that a gentle knock is always appreciated. I do believe this is our personal space and I'm spending some quiet time with my girlfriend, so I'd kindly appreciate it if you could give us some space now. Thank you very much."

Brighter than a red apple at harvest, Epel swiftly runs out of the room and disappears from our line of sight. Probably running to the nearest toilet available to puke up that ruby red apple he was eating earlier. With a sigh, Vil gently closes the door, and this time he turns the lock. Turning around, he walks back over and climbs back into the bed starting to take the food out of their to-go bags. 

"I'm sorry my dear," he whispers out eventually, "I should have taken better precautions and remembered to lock the door."

Chuckling, (Y/N) wraps her arms around Vil's waist after resurfacing from the throng of blankets that she had dived under, "Well, I suppose the cat's out of the bag now. It's okay my love. It was bound to happen eventually be it us going public or someone catching us. I suspect Rook kept it a secret for the mere fact that he could make bursts of organized chaos on the occasion."

"Maybe so," laughs out Vil, "so how is that phone sounding now?"

"Uhm... well, maybe a little better than not," chuckles out (Y/N) nervously.

Setting her food in front of her, Vil gently holds (Y/N)'s hand, "I'll get started on it first thing in the morning then."

"Alright, thanks Vil," whispers (Y/N) before kissing Vil quickly and diving in on the food.

In another part of Pomefiore, a very different night was unfolding during Vil and (Y/N)'s date...

"What happened again?" asks Ace, his and Deuce's faces crammed onto one phone's video call. 

Frustratedly, Epel slams down onto his dorm bed with his phone in his hand. After taking the food to Vil's room and subsequently puking up his supper, he rushed to dial their immediate circle of first-year friends; however, the situation quickly escalated after that. Upon seeing the odd behavior of their younger classmates and dormmates, the upperclassmen ended up joining the hectic video chat. Leona, getting thorough entertainment out of this matter, ended up calling Floyd, who subsequently dragged Azul and Jade into the mix. Floyd, then after hearing the story, called Jamil; hence Jamil and Kalim's involvement. Adding to the already growing fire, Kalim decided that they shouldn't just disclude Idia, and so both Idia and Ortho are now involved; bringing the entirety of the friend groups into this crowded and very loud video call. 

"Just quiet down and listen!" exclaims Epel frustratedly, "Vil ordered take-out and I happened to be the one to grab it, so I figured I might as well just take it to his room. On my way up there I walked by Rook, who at the time laughed and gave me a wink. I thought it was odd, but then again it was Rook and he has some really weird moments. Vil normally works on his potionology experiments after school on Thursday especially and makes a point of telling us to leave him be. Despite that, he had ordered food, and I figured I better get it to him warm instead of cold and one thing led to another. I ended up in the room and (Y/N) was there and they were snuggling in bed scrolling through movie selections. He just got up and told me that he appreciated me bringing the food but to knock first and to please leave him and his girlfriend alone so that they could enjoy their personal space. Taking the opportunity, I sprinted out of the room and to the nearest toilet. Then I video called the first-year group which ended up having the entire group of everybody in here listening.

Silence came across the phone until finally, Leona decided to break the silence, "Well, the herbivore has a boyfriend so give up boys. Abort mission because the star has shot, went overhead, and is gone so save your pathetic hearts the heartbreak. I, however, am going to go take a nap. Thanks for the entertainment though, I'm sure there'll be more to come."

Oh and was Leona right, because sure enough, the video call blew up after that. Somehow at some point, someone dragged Rook into the call; which only made the call explode even more. In the end, the friends found out who (Y/N) was dating, and the happy couple woke up to many many text messages in the morning. All was good... well it's NRC so there's plenty of mischief yet to come!

Floofy

: ̗̀➛ I'm proud to say that I'm a part of the TWST collab ("who does the prefect like?") hosted by @dulcesiabits!!! I hope that you all enjoy this╰(⸝⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝⸝)╯💖💖

—❥ ᴅᴀʀʟɪɴɢ ɪ ғᴀɴᴄʏ ʏᴏᴜ

warnings: none

genre: romance, fluff, (attempted) comedy

pairing: riddle rosehearts x gn!reader (+ platonic first years hehe)

word count: 884

extra notes: the reader is the ramshackle prefect!

♪ london boy – taylor swift

—♡ “Do you know why we called you here for this meeting, (Y/N)?”

“Uhh. . .This is my dorm, y’know, you’re the ones who asked to come over–”

“That’s besides the point!”

“The point is. . .”

“We know you’re dating Riddle.” ♡—

『••♡••』

So, you’re probably wondering how this all started. Well then. . .Let’s start from the beginning, shall we?

— ʚ The Study ‘Dates’ ɞ

It all started with a small study date. It wasn’t even a date at the time, it was just Riddle helping you study for a test (as repayment for helping him round up some loose hedgehogs a few days prior).

The other first years didn’t really think anything of it at the time but they didn’t expect the study ‘dates’ to keep happening. It even got to the point where you were cancelling plans with them just because of these study sessions with Riddle. But hey, maybe it was just you wanting to get good grades for you and Grim, right?

— ʚ Your Phone ɞ

Usually when you hung out with the first years, you would only use your phone to show them something funny or to use Google to prove someone (typically Ace) wrong about something.

But now something felt. . .off. You were looking at your phone a lot more often than normal and were even giggling at whatever was on your screen.

You’ve never giggled at your phone.

What was even weirder is that you would lay your phone faced down so no one could read your messages. People usually only did that when they were hiding something. That's when Ace came up with a quote-unquote ‘brilliant’ plan. (Spoiler alert: it backfired.)

— ʚ The Stupid Brilliant Plan ɞ

When Ace suggested following you and Riddle around to see what you both did, Sebek and Deuce were yelling about how it was an invasion of privacy but Epel didn’t seem to mind the idea. Jack didn’t even react other than slapping the palm of his hand onto his forehead at the stupid plan that Ace concocted.

Needless to say, the dumb idea was put into motion.

The group put on disguises they deemed as acceptable before following you to the library. So far the study session was normal. Just Riddle going through the subject and making sure you understood everything he was saying. Sure, there were a few moments where his knee brushed yours and he got a bit too close for the first years’ comfort, but nothing that could make them 100% sure whether you were dating Riddle or not.

They watched as you both put your textbooks into your bags and that's when they saw it. . .Your lips pressed against Riddle's in a simple yet sweet kiss. His hand interlocked with yours for a second, giving it a light squeeze before letting go. A smile that neither Ace or Deuce have ever seen graced Riddle's face—a smile that was full of love and a bit of shyness.

“My rose, what did I say about PDA?” The dorm head seemed anything but annoyed despite what his question may have implied. That smile never leaving, instead it simply grew when your hand reached for his yet again. “I know, sorry! I just couldn’t help it. Plus it’s not like anyone is around~♪”

BLEGH. That was the only thought running through the first years’ minds (minus Jack, he was just glad that you’re happy in all honesty). Ace and Deuce couldn’t believe their eyes. Their dorm head was secretly a softy but for their FRIEND? The two thought they were going to faint on the spot.

Before they threw up their lunch, they quickly ran back to Ramshackle.

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!”

“RIDDLE? FOR REAL?!”

“THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING!”

“WHY WOULD THE HUMAN KEEP THIS FROM US IF THEY TRULY RESPECT US?!”

After your friends finished their mini breakdown, that’s when they decided it was time for an interrogation.

『••♡••』

So, back to present time!

You sat on the dusty couch while the boys’ all stood in front of you. “So, what do you have to say?”

“Well, first of all, I don’t like that you decided to spy on me. Second of all, if you were really my friends. . . Wouldn’t you just wait for me to say something when I was ready?”

Well that certainly wasn’t what they expected to hear. Suddenly they felt something akin to guilt.

“I was actually going to tell you soon since Riddle seems like he wants to take this relationship seriously but guess I don’t need to do that now.” You couldn’t help but sigh before standing up and flicking Ace’s forehead. “Ow! You–. . .Y’know what, I deserved that.” He couldn’t even argue with you on that one.

“Nonetheless, you guys are my friends, so as long as you are happy for me in the end then it’s fine,” you spread out your arms, “Group hug?” That crooked yet loveable smile was hard to say no to. No matter how much they tried to act like that didn’t like the hug, you knew that they didn’t actually mind it one bit.

“I just have one condition if you're dating Riddle.”

“That being?”

“If I ever catch the two of you being all sappy or lovey-dovey then I won’t be able to talk to you for the rest of that week.”

“Oh shut it, Ace!”

Hope this was enjoyable cause my writer's block is still being a pain (╥﹏╥)💖💖💖 — 💘 Hallow 💘

All day~

It’s Dire Crowley slander all day, everyday 😤

{The image isn’t mine, I found it on Pinterest}

We all hate Crowley :)))

It’s Dire Crowley slander all day, everyday 😤

{The image isn’t mine, I found it on Pinterest}

LMAO HELP I'M WHEEZING RN AND I HAVE TO KEEP QUIET CAUSE I'M IN A RESTAURANT WITH MY FAMILY

this is why you should NOT hit on Kalim Al-Asim

My piece for the ‘who does the prefect like?’ writing collab by @dulcesiabits ! Sorry this is so late, I hope you enjoy it!

note: they/them pronouns used for reader

“They’re onto us, Kalim.”

Kalim blinked. “What do you mean, (Y/N)?”

“The first years,” you hissed, looking left and right. “They suspect that I’m dating someone.”

All the doors and windows of the Ramshackle Dorm were safely locked, and you had drawn the curtains for good measure. You would have switched off the lights too, if there were any (Crowley had forgotten to pay the electricity bills again). The only thing lighting the room you and Kalim were three of the Ramshackle ghosts.

They were your close allies, which you were grateful for. You would need allies in the times to come…

“…how is that a problem?” Kalim frowned with confusion. “It’s not a big deal if people found out we were dating.”

“…” Your eyes began to brim with tears, and you reached over to your boyfriend and tenderly cupped his cheeks with your hands. “Oh, Kalim…sweetheart, angel, love of my life…if people found out we were dating…it would be a complete travesty!”

“Travesty, travesty, travesty!” echoed the ghosts in perfect synchronisation.

“R-really?” Kalim’s eyes shone with fear.

“Yes!”

“…ah…!” Kalim shivered a little as well. “I don’t know why you would think that, but if you say so…do you have a plan?”

“Kalim…” Your face darkened, and you sat back up on the couch. “We need…to become…pals.”

“…but we’re already pals!” chirped Kalim. “You’re my favourite pal!”

“No, Kalim.” You shook your head sadly. “We need to become simply pals. Nothing more. We can only do pal stuff with each other. No kissing. No holding hands. No buying me gifts. No calling each other ‘sugar-bear,’ ‘sweetie-pie,’ or anything of the sort.”

Kalim’s eyes widened, and he began tearing up. “Not even hugging…?”

“Especially not hugging.”

“…what…what if I slip up?” Terror dawned on Kalim’s face. “What if I accidently hug you in public? Then everyone would find out…!”

“If you slip up and accidently show me affection in any way, you need to jump exactly six feet away from me as quick as possible and say, ‘But not like, in a weird way!’ That should cover it up.”

“I hope I don’t give us away…”

“Of course, you won’t! I wouldn’t have told you my plan if you would!” You gave Kalim a loving, adoring smile. “I trust you, Kalim.”

You suddenly turned away from him. “I’m afraid you must leave now, Grim will be arriving…leave, my dear, lest our secret love be revealed to the world!”

“I’m leaving, I’m leaving!”

And Kalim ran out of Ramshackle, trying to be discreet as possible.

By which one means: not discreet at all.

…

“The prefect hasn’t been answering my calls,” grumbled Ace. “They’re probably off kissing Kalim again.”

“Really?” Deuce frowned with confusion. “The prefect isn’t dating anyone, though.”

“Deuce.” Ace grabbed Deuce by the shoulders. “I want you to think. Who told you that the prefect was single?”

“The prefect told me.”

“And why would they say that they’re single?”

“Because they are single?”

“Dummy.” Ace bonked Deuce on the head, and Deuce yelps. “What was that for?!”

“I was trying to get that brain of yours working! Kalim constantly comments hearts under (Y/N)’s photos on Magicam, how can the not be dating?!”

“Maybe because they’re friendship hearts!”

“They have matching heart necklaces with each other’s names on them!”

“Maybe those are friendship necklaces!”

“Deuce, we saw them making out in the corridor.”

“…maybe…they were…making out…platonically?”

Ace facepalmed. “Platonically?! Are you kidding me, Juice?”

“Don’t call me that!”

Jack, who was sitting in the corner of the room silently, finally speaks up. “There are a lot of different sexualities out there, Ace. Platonic make-outs are probably a thing, you know.”

“See, Ace?!” Deuce smiled triumphantly. “I was right!”

“However,” Jack interrupted Deuce’s victory celebration, “I know enough about the prefect that I can be sure that them and Kalim are probably dating.”

“Nah, they’re definitely dating,” called out Epel. “I heard (Y/N) call Kalim ‘wifey’ the other day.”

“What?!” exclaimed Ace and Deuce in unison.

“Yeah. They’ve even got rings. With diamonds and everything, but they’re kinda subtle, so you have to really be paying attention.” Epel looked deep in thought. “Gotta say, if those are real, they hafta be worth a lotta money…”

“No way you’re telling the truth,” scorned Ace. “Even the prefect can’t be that cringe.”

“Are you callin’ me a liar?!”

“You both, calm down,” said Jack. “We need to stop pondering over the prefect’s love life; it isn’t any of our business.”

“That’s the whole point, Jack,” responded Ace, rolling his eyes. “There’s a reason trashy tabloids sell, you know. It’s no fun if it is your business.”

“Still, it doesn’t feel right…”

“Well, if you wanna leave, the door’s right there.” Ace gestured to said door, and smirked. “But be honest, Jack: you’re here because you’re curious, aren’t you? You might try to act all ‘holier than thou’ but deep down you’re dying to know if the prefect is really dating Kalim.”

“…” Jack frowned, but he didn’t move from his seat at the round table.

“Sebek, you haven’t said anything,” noted Deuce, looking at the green-haired, stoic boy. “What do you think?”

“Well, at first, I was admittedly shocked by those two’s behaviour. Handholding? Before marriage? That’s how unplanned pregnancies happen!”

In the background, Ace choked on his own laughter.

“But,” continued Sebek, “When I heard the prefect refer to Kalim as ‘wifey’, it became clear to me that they were, in fact, married or at least engaged, in which case their public displays of affection, while still distasteful, were not the immoral acts of promiscuity I had initially thought them to be.”

“But…they’re not married…?” Deuce treaded carefully, he knew this would set off an explosion.

“What.” A great big frown marred Sebek’s features, and he shouted, “THEN THEY MUST BE SEPERATED AT ONCE! LEST THEY BECOME CORRUPTING INFLUENCE ON THE YOUNG MASTER, NAY, A CORRUPTING INFLUENCE ON OUR ENTIRE GENERATION!”

“Tell me you have no bitches without telling me you have no bitches,” snickered Ace under his breath.

Jack slammed his hand on the table. “We need to stop this madness. We’ve become too unhealthily obsessed with this matter.”

“I wouldn’t say obsessed…” murmured Epel.

“Epel, you made an evidence board,” said Jack pointedly. “With red wool.”

“Okay, maybe we’re kinda obsessed…”

“Anways, we need to bring an end to this once and for all. Either, we find out the truth of the prefect’s relationship, or we drop the entire investigation.”

Murmurs of agreement sounded in the room.

“…But…” Deuce raised his hand. “How are we going to find out if they really are dating or not?”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got a plan,” Ace reassured him. “It’s fool-proof, so it should even work on the prefect.”

“And what is the plan?” asked Jack.

Ace smirked.

“Ace, what is the plan?”

Ace’s smirk became wider.

…

“Are you lost, babygorl?” said Jack stiffly, before leaning on the wall in front of Kalim.

Honestly, he should have known better than to have gone with this plan. The only reason he was even here was because Ace was holding his cacti hostage (that little shit). And now, he was here. Trying to seduce the prefect’s man.

Why him?

“Oh, you’re Jack, aren’t you? Honey bea– the prefect mentioned you!” Kalim smiled. “I’m not lost! But thanks, though.”

“Um…” Jack coughed. “You’re welcome.”

The tiny receiver in his ear crackled to life. “What the hell, Jack?!” Ace shouted, his voice tinny in the small speaker. In the corner of his eye, Jack could spot Deuce, Ace and Epel buried in a nearby bush, watching Jack with a hawk’s eye. Sebek wasn’t there, because the moment Ace had explained the plan, he had passed out at the thought of ‘intimate talk’ before marriage. 

“That wasn’t smooth. At all,” said Epel. “Try a different one.”

Jack swallowed. “Anyways…” This is so embarrassing, this is so embarrassing– “Do you like raisins? How do you feel about a date?”

“Oh, I do really like dates!” Kalim’s eyes sparkled. “Why, you got any?”

“…”

“What the heck was that delivery, Jack,” Ace groaned. “You need to be more sultry! More seductive!”

What the hell did Ace know about being sultry and seductive? Didn’t he ghost his only girlfriend?

Jack decided to keep it simple. “Do you…do you want to go out with me?”

“…we are outside, though?” Kalim frowned.

“He’s so…stupid!” Deuce shout-whispered. “A lost case!”

“You’re the one to talk,” replied Ace. Oh, he couldn’t just keep his mouth shut, could he?

“Why, you–!”

“Deuce, stop choking Ace­– WHAT WAS THAT FOR, GODDAMIT?!”

A few more shouts, a crash, and the line went dead.

But hey, Jack guessed this meant he could leave now.

“…I have somewhere to be. Goodbye.”

“Oh, goodbye, Jac–”

“Jack.”

Jack felt a dark, looming, angry presence behind him, one which made him want to start running, but Jack was a proud person, and he didn’t run away, so he turned around, and sorely regretted it.

Because it was you.

With a face that screamed ‘bloody murder’.

“Hey, (Y/N)!” chirped Kalim from behind Jack. “Jack was just asking me if we could go out! Want to join us?”

“Prefect,” began Jack desperately, “I promise you that this isn’t my fault, they were holding my cacti hostage–”

“HOW DARE YOU HIT ON MY WIFE?” you roared, with the force of a thousand suns.

Pride be damned. Jack started running.

…

Grim blinked, as he witnessed you chasing Jack with a murderous look, then turned his gaze to Epel, Ace and Deuce fist fighting in a bush. “What’s happening?”

“Beats me!” said Ortho cheerfully. “Wanna go to my dorm to play some video games?”

“Sure, sounds fun!”