I've Been Waiting For You

I've Been Waiting For You

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Angstember Prompt - “Don't look"

It seemed like a lifetime ago you were in an entirely different place, despite the repetitiveness of the days each of them was still different enough that you held your breath every morning when one of the many men watching the growing group of people came in. All different types of people were being held, men, women, girls, and boys of all ages. 

You knew that the day was guaranteed to have some sort of pain, at least one moment but usually more than a handful where you just wanted to curl in a ball and cry. The days were long and the nights even longer, when you finally did have a moment’s peace it was spent on edge, silently begging somebody to come and rescue you, begging for anybody to save you.

One day things changed, it started out much the same as any other day with one of the men barging into the room but instead of yelling for you all to get ready he walked further into the room, two other men following close behind, and made his way to you. The smirk on his face had your stomach churning and you knew something worse was coming.

You hardly put up a fight as your wrists were bound together behind your back, how could you when they hardly fed you? The small bit of food you did get was shared with the younger children, the look of hunger and fright on their faces managed to get you to shove your own hunger down. 

From there you were led out of the room, scared eyes watching your every step until everything went dark as a blindfold was placed over your eyes. You felt your breathing quicken, tears filled your eyes but you scrunched them shut tightly to prevent them from falling, knowing that whatever was about to happen would only be ten times worse if they saw you crying. 

You didn’t know what was to come but you did know that when somebody was taken from the big room you were all forced into they never came back. Screaming could usually be heard once they were taken and everybody assumed the worst from that point.

It wasn’t until you felt the cold air that you paused, the man behind you shoving you forward causing you to stumble over your feet before you righted yourself and continued on. You couldn’t remember the last time you had actually been outside, for so long you had been trapped within the walls of wherever they were holding you and despite your desperate, silent pleas to be rescued you had long since given up hope of it ever actually happening.

You forced a sob that threatened to escape your throat down, knowing that you weren’t actually free, in fact it was probably the opposite. You felt yourself get grabbed by the man behind you, his large hand wrapping around your bicep as he stopped you only to shove you into a car seconds later. You were forced between two of the men that had led you out whilst the other drove, no words being spoken the entire journey as you tried to prepare yourself to die.

You couldn’t say how long the car ride lasted, the blindfold that was still tightly in place prevented you from even taking a guess at what time it was. It seemed to take forever though before the car pulled to a stop and the doors were being opened. 

The man to your right shoved you out of the car, you had almost fallen to the ground if not for one of them catching you by the arm again. He dragged you along with him, the air around you felt colder now so you assumed at least a good few hours had passed since you’d gotten in the car.

You tried to steady your breathing but found it was too difficult, your breath coming out in fast bursts that ached your chest. You flinched as a loud knock filled the silence, the sound of a heavy door opening coming a moment later.

The air in the room was almost suffocating compared to the cold outside but it finally forced a deep breath out of you. Music could be heard alongside several different conversations that you couldn’t make out and the smell of cigarettes and alcohol filled the room. 

You were dragged through the room, walking until you were forced to stop and the blindfold was ripped from you. Despite the darkness of the room you still had to blink hard to adjust to it, low lights that barely lit the room up but did well enough of a job that you saw a group of men all sat around a table, half-drunk glasses scattered in front of them and they all had their attention on you. Hungry eyes darting up and down your figure as you resisted the urge to shudder.

“You always do bring such beauties for me.” A man at the head of the table grinned and you just about suppressed a grimace at the expression. 

“Boss said she’s all yours, payment for the ammo.” One of the men behind you said and this time you couldn’t hide your reaction, it was only a widening of your eyes but you knew the man at the table had seen it as his grin widened wickedly.

“A pretty payment indeed.” He replied, his eyes having yet to leave you even as he waved a dismissive hand to the two men who had escorted you in. 

Once the men had gone the man at the table stood and you forced yourself to stand still as he approached you, his hand coming up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear before his fingers grazed your cheek.

When he flicked a blade in front of you, however, that’s when you couldn’t hide your flinch, the blade coming closer towards you had you fighting to stay still.

“Relax gorgeous,” He murmured softly, the blade cutting away the rope restraints on your wrists and the man brushing his thumb over the raw skin. “I’ll take real good care of you.”

Months passed much the same as they always had except this time instead of answering to the group of men who had originally taken you, you now answer to Julian. He treated you just as poorly as the others had, fed you just as little though thankfully you didn’t have to share with anybody. You had long since given up on your silent prayers of rescue, came to the realisation nobody was coming, that this was your life now.

Every night without fail you went to bed sore and with tears falling down your face unsure of just how much more of this you could take.

Bruises seemed to cover most of your body, a brutal beating from Julian after a rival gang had betrayed him. You were left curled up, unable and unwilling to move. Months and months of constant beatings and you couldn’t do it anymore. 

You stayed where you were for a while, probably would have stayed there even longer had you not flinched into a sitting position, every part of you aching and protesting the move but the reaction was automatic when hearing a gunshot, the shooter seemed to keep his finger on the trigger for a while as it didn’t pause, it just continued shooting.

Julian ran into the room, pale faced with sweat pooling on his forehead as he looked at you with wide eyes. You didn’t have time to react, before you knew it the man was yanking you up and placing you in front of him as he backed out of the room, his gun stretched in front of him to your right, visible to you as you looked at it in fear, knowing that with one wrong move and the man wouldn’t hesitate to take your life.

Eventually Julian made it to the safe room, it was only small, the doorway disguised so that it couldn’t be found in a situation like this. Julian kept you in front of him, kept his gun raised and the only sound to be heard was his heavy breathing as you tried to stay as silent as possible even with the tears making their way down your face, mixing with the dried blood that had poured from cuts made by his rings earlier. 

The silence seemed to last for hours, tension heavy in the air as the sound of gunshots finally stopped. It was so silent that the sound of heavy boots outside in the hallway could clearly be heard from behind the safe room door, Julian's grip on your arm was painfully tight as he held you in place. You weren’t exactly sure what his plan was, he had made a lot of enemies with other gang members in the time you had known him and not one of them would hesitate to kill you to get to him, all he was doing was buying himself maybe a few more seconds.

The door opened and your eyes widened at the man before you, two guns were held in his hands as he filled the doorway, the light behind him making him look even more dangerous though you supposed the blood covering him also helped with that image. 

The man didn’t move, just stood before the two of you and you felt Julian’s fingers digging into your skin somehow even tighter than they already had been, you were close enough to feel him shaking as he shot his own gun.

You flinched at the deafening noise right next to your ear, tears flowing faster down your face because despite the fact you knew the man wouldn’t keep you alive if it meant killing Julian there was some part of you, some small part that you thought had died a long time ago, that hoped the man would help you get away from this gang, from Julian, but Julian had ruined it.

Your eyes fell shut, not wanting to watch as the man who could have changed your life was killed.

Instead though you heard the sound of the other man’s gun, one single shot came from him before you felt Julian slump forward against your back. You hadn’t even fully registered what had happened, barely felt his weight before you were being pulled away from Julian. The stranger moved the guns to rest on his back as one arm wrapped around your shoulder and the other guided your head to his chest, holding you against him so you couldn’t move.

“Don’t look,” He murmured to you when you tried to pull away to look into the safe room, “He can’t hurt you anymore, I promise.”

With those words you began to sob, for the first time in years you didn’t try to suppress the noise, you just let them out as the man guided you from the building, never once letting go of you. 

By the time you got to the man's van your sobs had calmed into sniffles and shaky breaths even as the tears continued to flow down your cheeks, the man held the door open for you and you climbed in despite your reluctance to let go of him. The man gave you a soft smile, a stark contrast to how he had looked before in the doorway, taking his jacket off and wrapping it around you before shutting the door gently and making his way over to the driver's side.

The journey was silent, you didn’t know where the man was taking you but you didn’t care. It felt easy to trust the man, maybe trust wasn’t the right word but you certainly didn’t think he was a part of another gang. You had met many gang members and none of them had ever been quite as gentle with you.

Eventually the two of you pulled up to an apartment complex and Frank was the first to get out, you sat in your seat staring up at the building unable to remember a time when you yourself had lived in a crappy run down building with family members you couldn’t quite recall. 

You jumped slightly when the man opened the door for you, you knew he had seen it but didn’t comment on it, instead he gave you a small smile and held a hand out for you which you took gratefully. It was slightly overwhelming walking into the building, even more so walking into the man’s apartment and being greeted by an excited dog jumping up at you.

You couldn’t help but flinch as it did, your experience with dogs was limited but the gang had some that they used to scare people and it worked, the dogs weren’t afraid to attack when commanded though you did feel awful for them once you saw exactly how the members trained them to do it.

“Down,” The man commanded, not having to raise his voice or lift his fist to get the dog to listen and you watched in slight awe as the dog whined but did as his owner told him before trotting off to a dog bed in the living room. “He’s a big softie really.” The man told you and you couldn’t help the small, barely there smile that pulled at your lips, something that hadn’t happened in a long time, as the man shot his dog a soft look before turning his attention to you just in time to watch you shiver slightly.

“I’ll get you some clothes,” The man told you, gesturing for you to follow him into a bedroom.

You stood in the doorway, arms wrapping around yourself to fight against the chill. You were glad for the man's jacket covering your less than clothed body. The lack of clothing was something you had long since grown used to, not having been allowed to wear proper clothing since you were taken and you couldn’t but feel excited at the chance to wear some, to actually be warm and covered for the first time in years. 

“They’ll be a bit big but they’ll do,” he said as he handed you some clothing, “Come out when you’re ready.” 

He waited until you gave him a nod before he left the room, closing the door behind him with a soft click. You could only stare down at the clothing in your hands for a few moments, brushing your hands along them and feeling how soft they were.

You eventually managed to move again, peeling off the jacket and the little clothing you had before changing into the man’s clothes, blinking against the sudden wave of tears that filled your eyes again, completely overwhelmed at everything around you, at the fact that you were finally free from the men who had taken you, free from Julian and his men.

Once you were done you opened the door, your old clothes bundled in your hands as you looked around and spotted Frank in the kitchen, two steaming bowls in front of him. 

“Give me them,” he said, reaching to take the old clothes from you and not even hesitating to throw them in the trash much to your amusement and you couldn’t stop the small giggle that left your lips, the man’s face lighting up at the sound. “Sit down, got some soup for you, eat as much as you want.”

The two of you sat at the small table, knees brushing against each other as you picked the spoon up and brought it to your lips. Despite it being such a plain meal to most, to you it was the best thing you had tasted. It warmed you from the inside and you couldn’t stop yourself from scooping more into your mouth.

The man ate his own soup at a much slower pace, watching you with amused eyes though a sympathetic smile played on his lips. So many questions flooded his head, how long had you been with Julian’s gang, how long had you been beaten and starved, when had you been taken, were there more of you?

He waited until you had finished, until you had declined another bowl before he broke the peaceful silence that had settled between you as you ate. 

“You got anywhere to go kid? Any family?” He asked gently, not wanting to upset you but if there was somebody out there for you he’d make it his goal to get you back to them.

You shook your head, looking away from him as you did. Obviously you were sad about your family but over the years you had sort of forgotten things about them, you knew the basics, remembered how many people made up your family but forgot what they looked like, forgot exactly where you had lived with them. You were so young when you were taken the few memories you did have were quickly replaced with ones from the first place you had stayed immediately after being taken. 

This life was the only one you truly knew and that was terrifying.

“That’s alright,” Frank told you softly, causing you to look up at him with wide eyes, watching as he reached over slowly and took your hands in one of his to stop you from nervously picking at the skin. “You can stay here.”

“Thank you,” You told him, voice breaking as tears filled your eyes again and several managed to trickle down your cheek, “Thank you for saving me.” 

Frank smiled at you as he leaned over to raise his hand that wasn’t holding yours up, keeping his movements nice and slow so you could see exactly what he was doing. He gently brushed the few tears that trailed down your cheek away, smile widening as you leaned into the touch as he thought about how long it had been since somebody touched you without bad intentions. 

Frank swore in that moment he would never let anybody hurt you again and the people that had already done so were next on his list. He was going to make sure every single one of them paid the price for what they had done to you.

______

Frank Castle Taglist /

@call-me-a-fool , @sylvies4ever  @lucyysthings , @freeshavocadoooo , @writeroutoftime ,  @mrslizzyolsen ,  @avengersbabe13 , @bxmaaa , @lucyysthings , @currentobsessionrabbithole , @myguiltypleasures21 , @luluwinchester , @polyglot-noodle , @alexxavicry , @bubsonnobx , @eddiefrickenmunson , @valluvsu

Star Wars Masterlist

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- Ours

- Silent Suffering

- He’s Coming For You, I Promise

- my tears ricochet

- Never Grow Up

- You’re Losing Me

- I'll Be There

- Your Jedi

- Enough for You

- Tell Me Later

- Haunted

- You Were My Only Hope

- Ready to Run

- The Perfect Mix

- Promise Me Forever

- First and Last

- Right Decision

- Safe Place (Daughter Reader)

- Forget Me

- With Me

- Step Into The Daylight

- Where We’re Meant To Be

- Bigger Than The Whole Sky

- We’ll Meet Again

- Got You Back

- Spark of Hope

August

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Prompts - 'It is August. My life is going to change. I can feel it.'

The change from July to August passed as easily as it always did, the weather was still warm, birds could still be heard chirping away and yet you couldn’t help but feel off. More than half the year had passed and it had passed without anything remarkable happening. The years had all seemed to pass the same lately and no matter how much you promised yourself this one would be different it seemed it was destined to be anything but. 

Of course just when you give up hope of something great, something remarkable happening, is often when your life changes most. 

It was a regular Monday and you were getting by on nothing but a few hours of sleep as you walked the busy streets with a hot to-go cup warming your hands, mind not completely awake just yet and not at all focused on your surroundings. It shouldn’t have been a surprise when you were suddenly jolted, nearly falling to the floor before a pair of arms caught you. 

“Oh god, I am so sorry, are you alright, love?” You looked up, eyes widening at the man holding you in the middle of a busy London street.

His voice was soft and it washed over you, calming your racing heart from both being crashed into and from the man himself, beautiful and captivating and staring at you. 

Of course, you hadn’t answered him and with a mental slap to your face you cleared your throat and answered the question, straightening up as you did, smiling as the man’s arms didn’t leave you. 

“I’m alright, thank you. Sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going.” You apologised, smiling softly at him, and watching as he mirrored the expression back, your heart seemingly skipping a beat at how beautiful the smile made him look. 

“Oh no, it’s my fault really, completely in a world of my own.” He chuckled and you couldn’t help but grin at him. “Oh bugger, your drink! Let me buy you a new one, if you’re not in a rush of course.” 

You weren’t in a rush thankfully but even if you had been you thought you would have cancelled any plans then and there if it meant being able to spend a single second longer in the man’s presence. 

“Thank you, you don’t have to though.” You told him but he just shook his head, cutting you off before you could say anything else. 

“No, no really I insist.” He told you, finally drawing his arms back with a sheepish smile and you felt the loss immediately but didn’t dwell on it, instead your smile widened as you nodded. 

“Then I’d like that, thank you.” You said and his whole face seemed to brighten up as he shifted his bag on his shoulder before nodding and gesturing for you to follow him. 

What were you doing, this was completely unlike you to go off with a man you’d just met, one that was a complete stranger and yet it didn’t seem like he was. Something about this man seemed to put you at ease, radiating safety and warmth and you were drawn to him immediately. 

You’d been saying you wanted things to change, months passed in the same old cycle and this was a welcome break in the chain. Perhaps August was the month for it. 

“I’m Steven by the way, nice to meet you.” Steven, it suited him nicely. 

“I’m Y/N,” you told him, sending him a smile back, completely unable to help the way it spread across your face as you looked at him. “It’s nice to meet you too.”

The two of you walked side by side, looking to the outside world like a pair of old friends or lovers out for a morning stroll. Steven, for all that he stammered and fidgeted, was surprisingly confident in carrying the conversation, rambling on about whatever came to his mind, asking questions about you, where you were from, what you were interested in and he responded in kind and by the time the two of you came to the coffee shop neither of you wanted to leave the others company. 

“If you’re, well, if maybe by some chance you weren’t busy would you perhaps like to have a drink?” Steven managed to ask and you felt your heart beat faster and your shoulders relax. “With me I mean.”

“Yeah,” you told him with a soft, almost fond breath of laughter as you nodded, watching as he grinned at you, “Yeah, I’d like that.”

As the two of you ordered Steven felt the ball of nervous energy in the pit of his stomach grow, completely outside of his comfort zone and yet something about you put him at ease and made it easy for him to take a breath and relax. 

It wasn’t long before the two of you were seated with drinks in front of you, Steven’s fingers tapping a steady rhythm on the sides of his cup. Somehow this felt more intimate than walking the streets of London, sitting across from each other under the low light of some hole in the wall coffee shop and yet, despite the nerves you both felt, neither of you could think of anywhere else you’d rather be.

“So where were you off to before we crashed into each other?” Steven asked with a grin and you felt yourself relax even more, glad for the easy conversation and the chance to memorise his features some more.

“I was heading to the museum, I have an interview and wanted to get there earlier to make sure I knew where to go.” You told him, watching as he seemed to perk up at the mention of the museum before his eyes widened.

“Oh god, you have an interview and I pulled you away from it. You really didn’t have to-” Steven began but you just chuckled softly, shaking your head, and cutting him off.

“It’s fine, really, my interview isn’t until after lunch, trust me I’ve got plenty of time and I’d rather be here with you than nervously pacing around the museum.” You laughed and watched as he relaxed, a soft laugh escaping him.

“You have an interview though, that’s great!” Steven beamed at you and somehow this stranger opposite you seemed just as excited as you were at the offer and you were glad to have somebody around who shared your excitement. “That’s really amazing, honestly you’ll love it, I worked there for a bit but it didn’t work out.” He told you, his nose scrunching up slightly as he shook his head and you couldn’t help but smile at him.

“Hopefully I’ll love it if I even get the job. What happened with you?” You asked and watched as he turned to look out of the window for a second before shaking his head and turning his attention back to you.

“Oh you know, had a bit of a nasty run in with a jackal and caused some property damage.” He told you, tone so serious that it drew a laugh from you and he couldn’t stop himself from laughing along with you.

“And yet somehow not the worst reason I’ve heard for being fired.” You chuckled before taking a sip from your drink.

Conversation flowed easily from there, somehow you felt like you had known this man, this stranger, for your whole life, like the two of you were long-time friends who hadn’t seen each other for a while and were simply spending time catching up on everything that had happened since you’d last seen one another, except in this case it was catching up on each other’s entire lives.

It was nice talking to Steven, nice to have somebody around who shared the same interests as you, who seemed genuinely interested and listened to every word that left your mouth. Something about Steven made you feel light, feel a happiness that you hadn’t known you had been missing. 

The man was a simply just a stranger who had happened to bump into you and yet here the two of you were, turning an accident into something that would change your futures, would steer you two down a different path, one where your lives became so entwined it would be impossible to remember a time before knowing one another.

You smiled as you listened to him talk, couldn’t help but silently thank the universe or whatever god what listening for sending Steven Grant your way, for having him knock into you and for having you leave for your interview with enough time to spare for meeting Steven. 

Mid-sentence Steven cut himself off, glancing towards the window next to the two of you again causing you to raise your eyebrows and follow his gaze but saw nothing so instead you turned back to him just in time to see his eyes widen as he looked back to you.

“It’s nearly time for your interview!” He told you and your eyes widened as you pulled your phone out, frowning down at the time, easily getting lost in the conversation with Steven and not realising how much time had passed before debating just how much your interview was worth if it meant leaving Steven’s side. 

If you hadn’t been waiting for this job to come around for months you might have genuinely left the interview but you knew you had to leave no matter how much you wanted to stay. Instead you looked back up at Steven with an apologetic look.

“I’m sorry,” You started but Steven cut you off with a smile, shaking his head fondly.

“None of that now, you have to get to your interview. I know you’re gonna smash it.” He told you and again you were almost taken back by how much this stranger seemed to be rooting for your success.

“It was really nice to meet you, Steven.” You hated that you had to leave, wanted nothing more than to sit in this cosy little coffee shop and just get to know everything about the man in front of you. Instead you started to stand but Steven stopped you before you could.

“I, oh god, don’t bugger this up now mate,” you smiled as he spoke to himself, watching in amusement as he shook his head before glancing up at you with a sheepish smile, “I don’t usually, well when I say usually I do mean ever, but anyway I don’t do this but you are really beautiful, I mean look at you, you’re stunning and I would hate myself if I didn’t ask you if I could see you again.” Steven rambled his way through his attempt to ask you out all the while your smile grew wider.

“I’d really like that.” You said, pulling your phone out again before handing it to him, “here give me your number.”

The two of you swapped phone numbers before walking out of the coffee shop together, each heading in opposite directions and pausing to say a goodbye.

“I’m really glad I met you,” Steven murmured, his eyes widening like he hadn’t meant to say the words out loud causing you to laugh softly, “I can’t wait to see you again.”

“I’m glad we met too.” You told him honestly, somehow feeling more of a connection with a man you’d known for less than two hours than with anyone else you had met in a really long time.

“I should let you go then I suppose, big interview and all that.” He smiled and you couldn’t help but mirror the expression. “Good luck, Y/N, not that you need it, they’d be stupid not to hire you.”

“Thank you,” You laughed, knowing you really had to leave now or you’d be late. “I’ll see you soon, right?”

“I should hope so, I think I’d rather like to have you in my life.” Steven said and the words were so honest that you couldn’t help the soft smile that spread across your face, feeling a soft blush on your cheeks as you ducked your head before glancing back up at him.

The two of you finally said your goodbyes, walking away with matching wide smiles before turning back to sneak one final glance at each other. It seemed after weeks, after months of pleading with the world it had finally given you an answer to your questions, a cure to the lonely, repetitive days in the form of Steven Grant. You could feel the shift when you were with him, a moment that you hoped and pleaded would be life changing, echoing Steven’s sentiment and wanting nothing more than to have him in your life.

You really hoped August was the month to change your life and really hoped Steven Grant would become a constant presence at your side. 

__________________

Steven Grant Taglist -

@bxmaaa, @captainamericasdaughter15, @daisyfreshwhore, @myguiltypleasures211, @polyglot-noodle, @alexxavicry

The Perfect Mix

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Prompts -  "I can't believe you didn't wish me a Happy Father's Day" "We don't have a kid?"

The mission had been long but they had come through it and been victorious, they had taken some First Order members down and gotten the information they needed. Everyone on the base was in high spirits, a welcome change from the dread of what was to come and a cause for celebration. 

Poe and you sat pressed together, shoulder to shoulder, in a booth with your friends surrounding you. There were too many empty glasses on the table for any of you to count in your drunken state but more kept being brought over. Everyone refused to dwell on the future, tonight was a win and you all were determined to enjoy this feeling for as long as you could.

You turned your head to look over towards Poe who was playfully arguing with BB-8 about something you couldn’t quite follow, you weren’t fluent at speaking droid and depended on Poe whenever BB-8 spoke but you were getting better. Still, seeing the smile spread across Poe’s face had you smiling over at him, warmth spreading through you that had nothing to do with the alcohol and everything to do with the man in front of you.

It wasn’t easy, some days things got too much. Some days fighting the First Order was frustrating and long and everything seemed hopeless. There were days when one of you would let the frustration overwhelm you and you took it out on the other, starting fights or shutting them out. You were always there though to help the other work through it, to be the shoulder to cry on when the emotions finally exploded, to hold the other close after a long, unproductive day, to bring a cup of caf and sit by each other’s side silently until the one who was scared about everything was ready to talk.

It wasn’t easy, it wasn’t perfect but it was real and it was everything you could hope for. Poe was amazing, you never wanted for anything when you were with him. Your heart ached sometimes with how much love you felt for him. 

One day this would be over, there would be no more fighting against the First Order, then it would be perfect. There wouldn’t be any worries about Poe leaving and not coming back, about him being hurt or killed. You hated when he left, loved how passionate he was to the cause and ached to have him back in your arms.

Looking at him now, his whole face lit up as BB-8 chirped something you couldn’t make out you were glad he had made the first move all those months ago, glad he was so confident and outgoing that he had no problem walking up to you one day after you’d finished maintenance on BB-8 and asked you on a date. You didn’t hesitate to say yes, you knew you’d liked him from the moment you’d met him however long ago when he was injured badly enough that he couldn’t do the maintenance needed on his X-wing and you had offered to help, being the one to do the maintenance of his ship ever since.

“Hey!” Poe exclaimed suddenly, causing you to snap out of your thoughts and give him your full attention, watching as he turned to face you with a confused look. “Why haven’t you wished me a Happy Father’s Day?” 

A huff of laughter left you as you looked back at him with confusion spreading across your own features, eyes glancing to the table that held even more empty glasses and wondered just how much he had had to drink tonight.

“What,” You began, pausing to laugh which only caused his eyes to widen even more and you had never been able to resist that look, “What are you talking about? We don’t have a kid?” 

The words were slightly slurred, of course they were after how many drinks you yourself had had, but Poe’s eyes still narrowed at them, sitting up straighter in the booth and giving you the most offended look he could muster, looking at you like he could hardly recognise you which only made you laugh some more.

“Are you kidding?” He exclaimed and you were confused for only a few seconds longer before he gestured wildly over to BB-8 who was stood by his feet and chirping away happily, beeps you couldn’t understand as he spun in a circle. 

It took a second before Poe’s meaning registered but you couldn’t help but laugh loudly once they did, leaning against Poe’s shoulder as he tried his best to maintain his offended look but when it came to you he was a weak man and a smile spread across his face at the sound of your laughter.

It really was the best sound in the whole galaxy.

It was a few minutes before you managed to contain yourself, your laughter subsiding though a few giggles escaped and you pushed away from Poe’s shoulder to grin over at him, lifting one hand to cup his cheek before bringing your lips together.

The kiss was messy, no coordination on either side but it didn’t matter, the two of you were more than happy to get lost in it, forgetting about your friends who surrounded you as you bumped noses and forehead.

“Happy Father’s Day.” You mumbled against his lips once the two of you pulled away, “You’re the best dad a droid could ever ask for.” 

Poe couldn’t stop the smile that spread across his face as he brought a hand up to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing across your cheekbone as he drew you into another kiss. This one was slightly more coordinated but softer and slower and Poe drew you closer to him, only pulling away when BB-8 beeped at him and bumped into his leg.

“Thanks buddy.” Poe grinned down at the droid, pulling away from you slightly to pat BB-8 before turning back towards you, his grin softening into a smile as he saw how your face lit up, even under the bad lighting off the bar. 

He couldn’t resist cupping your cheek again and pulling you into him, your lips soft against his own as he took his time tracing his tongue across your bottom lip waiting for you to grant him access and tried to convey just how much love he felt for you in a single kiss.

Finally the two of you pulled away, breathless and smiling, neither of you noticing the way the people around you grinned over at the pair of you, completely lost in your own little world. 

“You really are a good dad you know, one day you’ll be an amazing dad to a little baby Dameron.” You told him as you entwined you fingers with his, looking down and watching your thumb trace his knuckles and completely missing the way his eyes softened, his whole body softened really, as he stared at you with hope shining in his eyes, thinking that nothing could be better than raising a little baby Dameron with you.

“Little baby Dameron, huh?” He said softly, watching you look up to meet his gaze and let his other hand come up to brush a piece of hair that had fallen into your face aside. “I hope they have your eyes.” 

At his words he watched your smile brighten as you leaned into his touch before turning your head to kiss his knuckles. Poe couldn’t wait to start the next chapter of his life with you, desperate for the fight against the First Order to be done and won so that he could give you the life you deserved.

“I hope they have your smile.” You told him just as softly as he had spoken, your free hand coming up to trace his lower lip.

Poe would do anything he had to to make sure the Resistance won, to end this war as fast as possible so that he could be by your side as he watched you hold a baby that was the perfect mix of the two of you. A baby that had your eyes, his smile, your nose and his hair, maybe Poe’s love of flying mixed with your love of tinkering. 

All Poe knew was that he was ready for that, you were ready for that, and it was up to him to make a future where the two of you could raise your own kid together possible.

Safe Place

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Prompts -  'The safe place you created for me, all those years ago, that's where I call home.'

If you were to ask anyone in the galaxy who would be the least likely person to become a dad many people would have said Han Solo, especially if you asked who would be a dad to a baby girl. Han himself would have told anyone who asked that he was in no way equipped to raise a daughter, the idea alone was enough to terrify him, how could he ever raise a girl?

And yet somehow here he was, standing in the medcenter staring down at this beautiful, small baby girl that somehow fit in the palms of his hands. His eyes were watery as he stared down at you, almost like you weren’t real, and he could feel the fear that seemed to run through his whole body but somehow the fear was being drowned out slightly by the absolute and unyielding love he felt for you. 

It was an overwhelming experience, feeling so much love for somebody who had only been alive for a few minutes. To know that he would do anything you wanted, anything you asked without a second thought, to know that he would burn the galaxy down just to keep you safe and you couldn’t even do anything yet, he hated to think just how much you’d get away with once you could speak, once you knew just how much power you held over him, once you knew that you had him wrapped so tightly around your tiny little finger.

How did somebody like him make something as amazing as you?

Of course just because he felt this much love for you, just because he knew he would pull the stars from the sky for you it didn’t mean he was suddenly confident in his ability to raise a daughter, if anything feeling this love for you only made him infinitely more terrified because you deserved the whole galaxy and he didn’t want to mess that up, he didn’t want to ruin you. 

He was out of his depth, give him a blaster and a dangerous situation where the odds of surviving were slim to none and he was fine, he excelled in that. Give him the most precious baby girl in the whole galaxy and see how quickly he would crumble.

The first time he remembered being terrified when it came to you was when you were five years old. An absolute angel who was too curious for her own good, always getting into things you shouldn’t if left unattended for more than ten seconds.

One day Han had left the room to grab you some juice, he had been out of the room for less than fifteen seconds when he came back to see you with his blaster that he knew damn well he had placed out of your reach, how you had managed to get it Han didn’t know and didn’t even stop to question it.

All he felt was fear unlike any he had felt before and his blood turned cold as he ran over to you and snatched the blaster away from you, hating how you looked up at him with wide, watery eyes and a quivering lip. He couldn’t do anything, he felt frozen in fear and just about managed to grit out an order for you to go to your room.

He watched you leave the room with tears sliding down your face but he didn’t move to follow you. Han reached up and rubbed his forehead with his fingers, staring down at the blaster and mentally telling himself to hide the weapons away safely, apparently it wasn’t good enough for them to just be out of your reach now.

He waited five minutes before he left the living room and made his way over to your bedroom. The door was open halfway but he couldn’t hear you in there and felt a pit of guilt in his stomach, hoping he hadn’t scared you when he had snatched the blaster from you but he had been terrified, needing it out of your hands immediately.

If he thought he felt fear when he saw you with a blaster it was nothing compared to the fear that spread through him when he saw your bedroom was empty and that you were nowhere to be found in the house, despite him and Chewie searching the whole place and the grounds. 

Of course the one time you go missing Leia has to be off planet with the damn droid.

It wasn’t until he was doing another sweep of the house, passing by the hangar bay that he had already checked that he heard a noise that caused him to pause. He took a few steps back and stood in the doorway before his eyes landed on the Falcon, the door was closed but that noise had definitely come from inside it.

Dammit, he thought to himself. 

You knew you weren’t allowed on the Falcon by yourself, only if he or Chewie were there to supervise you and you had always followed the rule. No matter how desperate you were to board the Falcon you always waited until either of them could take you or just dragged one of them along with you so you could sit up front in the cockpit and pretend to pilot the ship.

Feeling some of his fear slip away he took a deep breath and made his way over to the Falcon and down towards the cockpit. His heart ached as he saw you in the pilot’s seat, his seat, curled up with tears still running down your face.

“C’mere,” He murmured softly, walking over to you and picking you up just enough for him to slide onto his seat and settle you down on his lap, smiling down at you as you curled into him and gripped his shirt whilst wiping your face into it. 

“What are we doing on here, huh?” He asked you, keeping his voice soft and low as he tilted your face up towards him and wiped your tears away. 

“Mad.” Was all you mumbled before hiding away against his chest and he felt himself completely soften, torn between cursing himself for acting so rashly he had scared you but also not regretting his actions because seeing you with that damn blaster had terrified him more than anything he had faced before.

“I’m not mad at you, sweetheart.” He told you, chuckling as you shook your head, “I’m not, really, just seeing you with that blaster scared me, you know it’s not a toy.” 

The two of you stayed there on the Falcon for longer than Han could recall, curled up together in the pilot’s seat long enough for you to fall asleep in his lap and Han to carry you back to your bedroom, tucking you in securely and pressing a kiss to your forehead before leaving to safely lock up the weapons.

That day seemed to have created a tradition of sorts somehow. Whenever you were sad, whenever you were scared or overwhelmed or just needed a safe place to calm down you always made your way over to the Falcon. Han never panicked anymore when he couldn’t find you, he knew all he had to do was go to the hangar and he’d find you curled up in his seat.

He remembered the fight you had with Leia, you must have only been around nine or ten. He remembered looking away from her down at you and just wondering how someone so little could hold so much anger and it wasn’t the typical anger you’d expect from a kid, nothing like temper tantrums you’d thrown before when you couldn’t make sense of your feelings. It was genuine anger, you had started showing signs of being able to use the force and Leia had wanted you to go to Luke, wanted you to be trained under her brother so you could control it.

Han hadn’t given an opinion, he’d been asked but he refrained from telling Leia how much he hated that idea, how much the thought of his little girl being sent away felt like his heart was being torn out of his chest.

Luckily for him, your distaste for the idea was loud enough to speak for Han too.

Han had known for a long time you could use the force, once the fear had left him over seeing you with a blaster and you were fast asleep he had time to think about it. He knew he hadn’t left the blaster within your reach and that there shouldn’t have been any way for you to reach it…not unless the force was involved. From then he had seen different instances of you using the force, a toy just out of reach, a cookie on the counter, a piece of meat on his plate after yours was long gone and your plate held only vegetables, no problem you’d just float whatever you wanted over to yourself.

“I don’t wanna go!” You yelled, angry tears making their way down your face and it took everything for Han not to intervene, to put his foot down on this topic and tuck you away but he knew Leia only wanted what was best for you.

“Y/N,” Leia started, her voice firm but soft but you didn’t give her the chance to speak, you let out an angry huff, already knowing exactly what she was going to say considering the conversation was just going around in circles. 

Instead of staying to listen to it you stormed out of the living room, shoving past Han who turned to watch you stomp down the hallway and made your way down to the Falcon, knowing full well your dad wouldn’t let you be alone for long but he’d give you long enough to yourself that you could calm down a bit.

“All that anger isn’t good.” Leia said softly, causing Han to finally look away from the empty hallway and back at her, a frown on his face as he shook his head.

“She’s a kid who doesn’t want to leave home. Just because she’s frustrated now doesn’t automatically mean she’s going dark side.” Han told her, tone almost dismissive in the way Leia hated when she tried to talk about something serious and she narrowed her eyes at him.

“There’s always a chance.” She told him, looking away from Han and off into the distance.

“No there’s not,” Han replied, tone hard and leaving no room for Leia to disagree with him, no room for Leia to doubt you. “She’s a good kid.”

And with that he too turned to leave the living room, leaving Leia sat alone to ponder the best course of action though it seemed to be two against one. Han made his way down the hallway, down towards the hangar, something he was sure he could do in his sleep with how often he followed you down here. 

It wasn’t long before he made his way through the Falcon and stopped to knock on the frame of the entrance to the cockpit, smiling sympathetically at you, the familiar sight of you curled in his seat still managed to warm his heart no matter the situation or how many times he had seen it.

You didn’t say anything, didn’t look up, just continued to stare out of the window at the closed door but Han didn’t let it deter him. Instead he walked in and picked you up, just as he always did and settled you on his lap, his arms wrapping around your waist as you tucked yourself under his chin.

“I don’t wanna leave.” You mumbled brokenly causing him to frown. 

“Then you’re not going to.” He told you like it was that simple and it really was, if you didn’t want to leave Han wasn’t going to force you. He was going to keep you around for as long as he could until you got too old to be spending time with your dad or hiding away on the Falcon.

“But mom said-” You began, tilting your head to look up at him but he cut you off with a smile and shake of his head.

“Don’t you worry about your mom, just leave her to me.” He said, giving you a wink that caused you to giggle and it was like the mood instantly shifted and felt a little lighter. 

Maker, he’d do anything to hear that sound instead of listening to your cries.

Han’s heart hadn’t stopped beating wildly in his chest, so loud he could hear it in his ears, almost deafening and yet you stood there rolling your eyes at him and in that moment he had never felt so unequipped to be a dad. 

“I don’t even know why you’re making such a big deal out of this, I didn’t even go that far and I’m fine.” You told him, gesturing down to yourself as if to prove your point.

“You stole the Falcon, Y/N!” Han snapped back at you, fury taking the place of the fear that had coursed through his veins at seeing both you and his ship missing. “What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking that you and mom never let me leave and I am so tired of this place! You go on adventures all the time and you never let me go with you, forgive me for wanting to see more of the galaxy!” You snarked, rolling your eyes again in a way that made him want to grab your shoulders and shake you until you realised just how reckless you had been, just how terrified you had made him.

“You can’t even fly the damn thing yet, could’ve gotten yourself killed.” And that was the thought that played on a loop the entire time it had taken him to track you down, his blood running cold as the thought refused to leave. 

Sure he’d given you plenty of flying lessons but not enough for you to take the damn ship out yourself.

“I can fly it better than you.” You shot back, knowing damn well it wasn’t true but wanting to say anything to annoy him even more at this point, unwilling to see it from his point of view, unwilling to apologise when you’d had such an amazing afternoon in a faraway village, surrounded by all different types of people.

“Kid, we both know that’s bantha fodder. There’s a reason you don’t go off on your own, you’re damn lucky to be standing there right now.” The words had you rolling your eyes again at him, and Han clenching his jaw, a disbelieving scoff leaving your lips and you shoved past him, leaving the room, and heading down to where Han had landed the ship not long ago.

Han let you go, the two of you both needing time to calm down.

It was times like this he felt so unequipped to be a dad, so completely out of his depth because on the one hand he knew you had always longed for more, longed to jump in the Falcon and search the whole galaxy. Despite your words Han had actually taken you on more than your fair share of adventures, nothing too dangerous but he couldn’t resist seeing the look of joy on your face as the Falcon made her way across the galaxy, watching the wonder on your face as you saw all kinds of species and the pride he felt when he watched you interact with them, always so polite and friendly.

On the other hand though, they’d witnessed so much, they knew there were still people out there that would love the chance to hurt them and you out alone in the galaxy was the perfect way for someone to get back at them.

He knew you understood that but he also knew you were a kid who took after the rest of her family, knew there was something more for you out there. He hoped you’d never be forced to be something more than you were, hoped that everything they’d done would be enough for you to live your life freely but the fear of something bad, something dark was always lurking in their thoughts.

Enough time passed to the point where his heart was no longer in his throat and he couldn’t hear each thump in his ears. For the first time in years, for the first time since you were a five year old little girl, he hesitated on his journey down to the Falcon, doubting for the first time that that was the place you would choose to hide away in. 

He’d always figured that eventually you would stop using the ship as your safe place, always tried to ignore the thought and the ache in his heart but couldn’t now that he thought it was actually happening. He couldn’t help but remember the last time the two of you took refuge there, couldn’t help but regret the fact he hadn’t held you tighter, hadn’t held you longer.

Still he made his way down the familiar path and felt a weight fall from his shoulders as he saw the door to the ship wide open, couldn’t help but smile despite the fight as he made his way to the cockpit to see you curled up on the seat, taking a second just take in the familiar scene just in case the day was drawing nearer that you didn’t hide away here anymore.

He made his way into the room, taking a seat on the arm of the chair and looked down at you, hating how you hesitated before meeting his eyes.

“I know you’re a tough kid and I know you can handle yourself,” Han said, tone showing how much he believed his words causing you to relax slightly, no matter how bad the fight was between you and your dad it was like being in the Falcon raised a white flag and you both agreed not to bring it onto the ship. “but you know why the thought of you out there scares the hell out of me. I can’t lose you, kiddo.”

If your eyes were a little watery, well it’s not like your dad hadn’t seen you in worse states but you still leaned forward, burying your head against his stomach as he wrapped an arm around you, leaning down to press a kiss to your hair and if he held you a bit tighter, well who could blame him?

The two of you stayed on the ship for the rest of the day after that, neither one of you wanted to leave the safety she offered and when it came time for bed you ended up in Han’s cabin, you tucked under his chin and Han was more than happy to hold you.

When the Falcon disappeared it felt like a large part of you had gone missing too, after the dark side had gotten a new leader, after Uncle Luke disappeared, blaming himself for letting one of his student’s turn to the dark side of the force, after your mom and dad went their separate ways, after the First Order had begun their attacks…all you wanted to do was hide away on the Falcon, hating that you had ever wished for something more, for an adventure. 

Now you were by your mother’s side, commanding armies and watching people you had come to care so deeply for die on a regular basis. There was nowhere that had ever felt more like home than the Falcon did and not having her around anymore saw you pushing your emotions further and further down and bottling them up tightly.

Today felt particularly bad even though nothing major had actually happened. Some days the weight of everything that was happening just felt like too much. You heard that your mom was back on base and headed outside to greet her, needing a distraction from the thoughts running wild in your mind. 

You didn’t pay much attention to your surroundings, only enough so that you could avoid X-wing pilots who ran back and forth across the base, barely avoiding getting your feet crushed by the BB unit you knew to be Poe’s causing you to tilt your head, laughing fondly as the droid knocked into people before crashing into the man he was looking for, Poe just as excited to greet the droid.

“Hey kiddo.” A voice said to the side of you, a voice that caused your head to snap around, gaze locking onto your dad before looking past him, feeling your eyes widened at the ship that stood behind him. “I brought her home.” Han said softly, watching your frozen frame and seeing the exact moment your brain started working again. 

Tears filled your eyes as you let out a slightly manic laugh of disbelief, head shaking as if you couldn’t believe your eyes before you ran to meet your dad who easily caught you in his arms, winding them around you and holding you tight against his chest, one hand coming up to cup the back of your head.

“You got her back?” You mumbled into his chest but he heard you clearly anyway.

“Sure did, kid.” He smiled, a weight falling from his shoulders as he had you in his arms again. 

You don’t know how long you stood wrapped in Han’s arms for but eventually you pulled away and smiled up at him, his hand moving to cup your cheek and bring your foreheads together. With everything going on lately it felt like heaven to not only see your dad again but for him to have brought back the place you truly thought of as home with him.

You moved away from him and took a cautious step over towards the Falcon, almost as if you expected it to disappear, causing Han to smile fondly at you. It only took a few steps, Han following behind you, until you were in the Falcon and the feeling of home overwhelmed you, memories assaulting your mind as you looked around, letting your fingers drag against the walls as you made your way further into the ship, stopping when you stood in the doorway of the cockpit.

If you thought stepping into the Falcon itself was overwhelming it was nothing compared to stepping into the cockpit. You never thought you’d be standing in here again, never thought you’d be able to find a moment's peace like the ones you had come to love in here. Somehow even despite everything going on outside, being in this room made it easier to breathe.

You didn’t realise the tears were pouring down your face until Han pressed a hand to your shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze pulling you out of your frozen state and giving you the push you needed to step foot into the room, instantly feeling better. 

Your fingers danced along the back of the pilot’s seat as you made your way around it, sitting down in the seat with a soft sigh. Han smiled over at you as he made his way into the room, taking his place on the arm of the chair, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you close, you cuddling into him without a second thought, feeling like no time had passed between now and the last time you were in here.

Of course time had passed and you had somehow found yourself fighting against the dark side, found yourself giving orders out despite being completely unequipped to handle the job and yet it was easy to block out all of that when it was just the two of you in here, easy to forget how messed up things had truly gotten. Han, like you, never thought he’d have this moment again, never thought it’d just be the two of you curled up together on your seat in the Falcon but here you were. 

There was an exhaustion that ran deep in his bones at the thought of another war. He had no idea what was going to come in the next few days, next few weeks and months. He had no idea when the next time he’d be able to sit in here with you again would be, hell he didn’t even know if there would be a next time and that thought sent an ache through his chest and caused him to pull you closer to him, his grip tightening on you like he was afraid to lose you.

“I love you, kiddo, you know that right?” He asked you, he needed to say it all of a sudden, looking down at you and smiling shakily as you looked up at him, eyes still filled with tears but you looked less tired, like this was exactly what you needed and he was glad he could give it to you.

“I know,” you murmured softly, smiling up at him and nodding, watching as his own smile widened and he let out a small huff of laughter, “I love you too.”

Yeah, Han didn’t know what was coming next. He didn’t know who was going to live to tell the stories of this war and who was going to die fighting.

Whatever happened next he’d do it for you, he’d do it for Leia. He’d given you your home back, brought her back to you and knew that if nothing else, if anything were to happen to him, he knew you’d at least have a safe place to deal with it.

You Were My Only Hope

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Angstember Prompt - “For what it’s worth, I never gave up on you."

You had been on your own for a long time now, floating through the galaxy and never staying in one place long enough for anybody to know you, hiding your identity and shutting yourself off from the Force completely whilst trying to push through each lonely day without focusing on the emptiness around you.

Obi-Wan had long since taken off, exiling himself to Tatooine to look after the boy, Anakin’s boy. Some days you almost caved and went to the planet but you weren’t quite sure either you or Obi-Wan were prepared to face your past life just yet. The two of you weren’t the same people you had been all those years ago, Anakin’s downfall and death had taken something from both of you that hadn’t yet been replaced.

You had loved Anakin, had loved him more dearly than anything else. You had been praised for how well you followed the Jedi Code but it wasn’t true, for Anakin Skywalker you broke the Jedi Code everyday even if he never knew. You had known he had a relationship with Padmé, though you hadn’t quite known the extent of it, had no idea they were married, but it didn’t stop you from loving him.

Even though Anakin didn’t love you as you loved him, it didn’t mean he didn’t love you in his own way. The two of you had grown up alongside each other in the Temple, you were Anakin’s first and best friend. Whilst Obi-Wan wasn’t actually your Master, he had been in every sense of the word other than officially. You had spent more time training with him and Anakin than you had your own Master and if the Jedi allowed a Master to take on more than one Padawan you knew Obi-Wan would have happily accepted you as his own alongside Anakin. Over the years you became everything to each other, something closer than friends and somehow more intimate than lovers, there hadn’t been anything the two of you didn’t share with each other, at least you’d thought there were no secrets between you right up until Anakin’s fall.

Seeing the destruction he had caused, the death of Padmé, leaving the bodies of children behind in the Temple, helping with the murder of Jedi across the galaxy and making sure that the few who had escaped had bounties on their heads forever, turned your stomach. You knew that if you had had the chance all those years ago you would have done anything to change it, would have given up everything so long as Anakin kept his light.

There was nothing you could do though, Anakin was dead, Obi-Wan had pulled you aside shortly after Padmé had given birth to the children and tearfully told you what had happened on Mustafar, told you that Anakin was gone. The two of you held each other, knowing that nothing would be the same again and you hadn’t stopped the tears that poured from your eyes, soaking the cloak Obi-Wan wore.

From that day on you had been lost, jumping from one planet to the other and it was only when you came across a group of Inquisitors that you were glad you had been running, glad you had shut yourself off from the Force. You had hidden yourself in the shadows, easily blending in with the sketchy figures around you as one of the Inquisitors Force choked a Jedi they had found. You knew this was common, any Jedi found was to be killed, the Empire wouldn’t rest until they were. You had grown numb to it, had seen it happen too many times, in the early years you had wanted to react, wanted to help the Jedi but you knew that meant exposing yourself and you couldn’t do it.

“Where is Y/F/N Y/L/N?” One of the Inquisitors snarled and you felt your eyes go wide and forced yourself to swallow against the sudden lump in your throat.

You knew the Empire was looking for Obi-Wan for whatever reason, over the years you had heard whispers of his name but nobody had found where he was yet, only a few people knew that information and none of you would ever betray Obi-Wan.

The question was, why were they looking for you?

Ever since you’d overheard that conversation you had cut down your time spent on a single planet, making sure to keep your face covered whenever you had to be surrounded by people and kept your head down. You had dodged many Inquisitors in the past few months and again the urge to go to Obi-Wan for help was strong, the urge to reconnect with the Force and call out to Obi-Wan but you never did.

Instead you ran and you hid and you didn’t talk to anybody that wasn’t necessary. You were good but there was only so much you could do without the Force to help you, for it to warn you when danger was near. It didn’t surprise you nearly as much as it should have when you rounded a corner and saw your little shack in the middle of nowhere surrounded by Inquisitors, a ship not too far away.

Without your own lightsaber it really wasn’t a fair fight and it wasn’t long before you were being marched into the ship, a collar around your throat to cut you off from the Force despite you having done that yourself many years ago.

You didn’t say anything though, just let them shove along, rolling your eyes as they gloated about catching you before you were being pushed into a small, dark room. The door shut behind you and you were glad to be separated from the troopers and Inquisitors, if only to be rid of their constant taunting that was nothing more than an annoyance.

You had no idea where you were being taken, you could feel the ship moving and you could feel it making the shift to hyperspace. You spent the journey sitting on the floor, legs crossed as you let your mind wander. Even as a Padawan you had struggled to mediate, your Master hadn’t had the patience to teach you after repeated failures but Obi-Wan was more than happy to sit opposite you and guide you through it no matter how long it took. Mediating without being surrounded by the Force felt pointless but you still tried, if only to pass the time.

At some point your peace was disturbed as the door opened and you opened one eye to see a female Inquisitor enter the room alone. You regarded her for a second longer before letting your eye fall shut again, not giving her a reaction. She waited for the door to shut before she spoke.

“Anakin Skywalker has been waiting a very long time for you.” She told you and you couldn’t hide your reaction.

Your eyes shot open, staring openly at the woman in front of you in shock as your back stiffened with her words.

“What did you just say?” You asked, voice low and cold.

“You heard m-” She started to say but cut herself off, staring back at you for a moment before letting out a laugh, one that showed just how much she enjoyed having some sort of power over you as a smirk spread across her face. “You don’t know.”

“Know what? What do you know of Anakin?” You asked, not having pieced together what she knew.

“You don’t know,” She repeated, glee written on her face as she continued, “You don’t know what became of him.”

“He died.” You said through gritted teeth, annoyed at whatever tactic she was playing.

“Oh no, Y/N. Anakin Skywalker didn’t die, Anakin Skywalker is Darth Vader.”

Your blood ran cold at her words, your head already shaking in disbelief because that was impossible. You hadn’t had the pleasure of meeting Vader but when one travelled the galaxy as much as you did you heard the stories. There was no way that was Anakin, no way.

“You really didn’t know.” She murmured, pulling you out of your thoughts and glaring at the smirk that was still on her face. “I guess you are right, your sweet Anakin Skywalker is long gone, Darth Vader is who remains.”

With those words she turned to leave the room, leaving you with that bombshell as you tried to sort your thoughts out. There was no way Obi-Wan knew, he would have told you. He, like you, believed Anakin had died on Mustafar but clearly he had received help, something had happened after Obi-Wan left with Padmé.

Even knowing what you knew about Vader you had to believe that Anakin was still in there somewhere, buried deep down under Darkness. Had you known he was still alive you wouldn’t have wasted years running around the galaxy, you would have done anything you could to bring him back to you.

For the first time since you had shut yourself off from it you wished you could connect with the Force.

It wasn’t long after that you felt the ship land, the doors to your cell were sliding open and two Inquisitors flanked by a handful of troopers were revealed. One of the Inquisitors wrapped their hand around your arm and dragged you along, the other gripping your other arm once you were close to him. You let them lead you through the ship and it took a good few minutes before you arrived in front of two heavy looking doors.

Upon seeing you and the Inquisitors, as well as the troopers who had followed you, the trooper standing guard opened the doors and you were shoved forward. You kept a bored look on your face but it was quickly replaced by a sad look as you saw Darth Vader standing in the room.

That couldn’t be Anakin and yet even without the Force to guide you, you had a feeling in the pit of your stomach, one that turned you cold, that the Inquisitor hadn’t been lying.  

“Leave us.” Vader ordered, his voice modified through the suit, sounding nothing like Anakin.

The Inquisitors and troopers left the room and the door fell shut behind them leaving you alone with Vader. You stood tall, a neutral look masking the pain and sadness you felt, staring into the helmet of Darth Vader.

“You have been difficult to find.” He told you and you couldn’t help but smirk, you had only become aware of the fact that the Empire was after you a few months ago, you wondered just how long you’d had a bounty on your head. “I have you now and you will tell me where Kenobi is hiding.”

You struggled to keep your mask in place, struggled not to let it show how painful it was hearing the hate filter through the mask. How had things fallen apart so badly, how had Anakin Skywalker, the person who had never failed to give you hope all throughout the clone wars, the person who you only ever saw the best in, fallen so hard? How could that boy who looked up to Obi-Wan, who had loved him dearly, not even bring himself to say his name? Only able to spit it out like it was poison.

Where had it all gone wrong?

“It’s really you then isn’t it?” You asked him, despite your neutral face your voice betrayed you, quivering slightly before you forced yourself to take a breath. “I didn’t want to believe her when she said you were Anakin but it’s you isn’t it?”

“Don’t use that name!” He spat, one arm raised with a clenched fist and you found yourself  a few feet in the air, Vader cutting off your breath as he Forced choked you.

It was child's play, you could handle being Forced choked, Anakin knew it as well as you did. You had been through worse during the years of the Clone Wars, suffered worse things than a choking. The Clone Wars had been tough, you’d been kidnapped more times than you could count, tortured even more, Anakin had been by your side throughout it all, you both knew this was nothing.

“Skywalker was weak, he was useless.” Vader said as he stopped choking you and you just about stayed upright as you were dropped to the floor.

“Anakin was never weak and he was far from useless. He was the bravest person I have ever met, he inspired loyalty, he was a hero.” You said, stressing the last word as you gave Vader a look of distaste. “Can you say the same about yourself?”

“You abandoned him, left him to die. Don’t speak to me about loyalty.” Vader snarled and even without the Force you could feel his anger, his pain and frustration.

You had to believe there was more than that there though, that there was some light no matter how small and dim, there had to be.

Anakin couldn’t just be gone.

For years you had lived thinking he had died, alone and in pain, left behind by Obi-Wan. You hadn’t blamed Obi-Wan, you had had years to dwell on it, years to run it through your head and knew full well that if you were in the man's shoes you wouldn’t have been able to kill Anakin either.

Even now as you stood before the darkest and most twisted version of Anakin, knew of all the pain and horror he had inflicted on the galaxy, even now you knew full well if you had the chance you wouldn’t be able to kill him.

You could practically see Master Yoda in your mind, shaking his head in disappointment as he spoke about attachments.

“Abandoned you?” You asked, shaking your own head as you stared at him in disbelief. “I thought you were dead. If I had known, if I had even had an inkling that you were alive, believe me I would have found you myself. I would have done everything I could to break through all the darkness surrounding you.”

“You expected me to believe that?” He scoffed and you glared at him. It was hard talking to him like this, not just because of the anger and the hatred but because of the helmet. Anakin had always been so expressive, his every emotion played out on his face but now the man hid behind the helmet.

“You know I’m not lying.” You told him and he remained silent for a few moments.

“There was a place for you at my side, there still is a place for you.” He told you suddenly, voice quiet but firm and you felt your eyes widen, there was no way he thought you would ever turn to the Dark Side but then again you had once believed he would never fall. “All you have to do is tell me where Kenobi is.”

“You know I would never betray Obi-Wan, Anakin.” You told him and watched as he took a step closer to you, towering over you but you forced yourself to meet the helmet.

“I am not Anakin.” He told you, anger clear in his tone and you couldn’t help the sad smile that pulled at your lips.

“You will always be Anakin Skywalker to me.” You said softly before you were slammed into a wall by the Force, Vader doing nothing more than pinning you against it. “And for what it’s worth, I never gave up on you. No matter how lost you are, no matter how far you stray from everything you once believed in, I never gave up on you, not when I saw what had become of the Padawans, not when the order was given for the Clones to kill us. I still believe in Anakin Skywalker.”

Vader stayed silent, the only sound in the room was that of his breathing, heavy through the helmet. You knew you were pushing it, knew this was a dangerous game but you didn’t care, you had to know if Anakin was still there, still believed in the man you had once known, the man you had spent every day loving.

“You are loyal to a dead man.” He told you finally and you felt your eyes close, desperately trying to think of a way to push through the Darkness. “It makes you weak.”

“Lucky for me then because the man I believe in isn’t dead, I know it. The man who held me when my Master was killed, the man who snuck me out of the Temple in the middle of the night because I wanted to see the celebrations, the man who took more beatings and hits than he needed to just so I didn’t get hurt, the man who helped me see the Light when everything seemed so dark during the war. That is the man I believe in and that is the man I know to be alive, to be within you no matter how deeply you have tried to bury him.” You told him, voice shaking and tears filling your eyes but you forced them back, not letting them fall.

This wasn’t about you, this was about bringing Anakin back.

“You can’t tell me this is the life you wanted Anakin. You’re nothing more than Palpatine’s weapon, he ripped everything from you; Padmé, your child, Obi-Wan and me. And for what, Anakin? What did you get out of it that was worth losing everyone?” You keep your voice soft, watching as his fist clenched at his side and you wished so badly you could see his face.

“None of that matters now.” Vader said after a moment of silence and you hated how you couldn’t hear his real voice, how his emotions were hidden through the helmet, robotic and stoic and not giving away anything. “The man you knew is gone, accept it and give up your weak and foolish hope of his return.”

You shook your head, refusing to do as he said. No matter what happened on this ship, even if he killed you, you would die knowing that Anakin was still in there, that one day, maybe not any time soon, Anakin would break through the Darkness surrounding him. Maybe he would break through himself, maybe he would eventually find Obi-Wan hidden away on Tatooine and Obi-Wan would be the one to break through. It didn’t matter how it happened, all that mattered was that you truly believed it would.

“I will never give up hope for Anakin Skywalker.” You told him, standing straighter and looking at the helmet, his anger and annoyance clear even without the Force helping up and the helmet covering him.

“Enough.” He said, using the Force to lift you off the ground again back still pressed against the wall. “I have grown tired of listening to you talk about a dead man, your pathetic attachment to him makes you weak. You could have joined me, Y/N, you could have joined me. Instead you keep your loyalties to a man long dead and a man who will die at my hands.”

Even though you’d been through worse pain, worse torture, suddenly this felt like the most painful thing you had ever experience, the worst kind of pain imaginable, a type of pain that made you cold and empty inside. There was no fear but something shifted around the two of you and you could practically see the thick Darkness clinging to Anakin.

You knew he was so far into it, knew the chances of you leaving this alive were slim to none and yet somehow you weren’t scared. The thing you felt most was your absolute heartbreak as you faced what had become of the man you loved but you knew he’d come back.

He had to.

“You have tested my patience long enough,” He snarled, stepping closer until there was no distance between you. “Now, you will tell me where Kenobi is!”

As he spoke he raised his hand, stopping you from taking breaths and you could feel his phantom grip tightening on you with each second. You stared at him, stared into the helmet that hid his face from you and knew you were going to die but you were not going to die betraying Obi-Wan or Anakin’s children.

“Anakin,” You choked out, voice a broken whisper as you felt yourself getting lightheaded, “I know you’re still in there, I know you can hear me even if you’re not ready to right now.” It was hard to speak, throat closed up and his grip only got tighter with your words. “I know this isn’t you, it can’t be, not after everything. You will find your way back one day, I know you will and you have to know, even with whatever happens today, I never gave up on you.” Your vision was going bleary as you forced yourself to stay conscious. “I love you, Anakin Skywalker, always have, always believed in you.”

Your words were barely audible at the end, his grip on your throat too tight to breath by now and the last thing you saw before your vision blacked out was the helmet of Vader, emotionless and betraying nothing as you choked out something unintelligible before letting your eyes fall closed.

Vader let go of you, let your body fall to the ground. He walked away, desperately trying to ignore the feeling deep inside of him, buried under a mountain of Darkness, that felt guilty, felt heartbroken and angry. Your final words were a declaration of love, a promise that you had always believed in him.

He stormed out of the room, fists clenched at his side as he forced down that part of him, the part that was Anakin Skywalker, no matter how much he denied it. You had been right, not that he would ever admit it but Anakin Skywalker had always been there, a weakness to Vader. He had thought he had destroyed every bit of Anakin Skywalker, thought he had rid himself of such a weakness but then you had come along and reignited the tiny bit of Light in him that he had never been able to kill.

But now you were dead and there was nobody left in the whole galaxy that believed in him. You were dead by his hands and even though your dying words would never leave Vader’s mind, no matter how much he tried to forget them, there was no hope left in the galaxy for him.

That hope had lived and died with you.

________

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