When I Was In Ninth Grade I Wanted To Challenge What I Saw As A Very Stupid Dress Code Policy (not Being

When I was in ninth grade I wanted to challenge what I saw as a very stupid dress code policy (not being allowed to wear spikes regardless of the size or sharpness of the spikes). My dad said to me, “What is your objective?”

He said it over and over. I contemplated that. I wanted to change an unfair dress code. What did I stand to gain? What did I stand to lose? If what I really wanted was to change the dress code, what would be my most effective potential approach? (He also gave me Discourses on the Fall of Rome by Titus Livius, Machiavelli’s magnum opus. Of course he’d already given me The Prince, Five Rings, and The Art of War.)

I ultimately printed out that phrase, coated it in Mod Podge, and clipped it to my bathroom mirror so I would look at it and think about it every day.

What is your objective?

Forget about how you feel. Ask yourself, what do you want to see happen? And then ask, how can you make it happen? Who needs to agree with you? Who has the power to implement this change? What are the points where you have leverage over them? If you use that leverage now, will you impair your ability to use it in the future? Getting what you want is about effectiveness. It is not about being an alpha or a sigma or whatever other bullshit the men’s right whiners are on about now. You won’t find any MRA talking points in Musashi, because they are not relevant.

I had no clear leverage on the dress code issue. My parents were not on the PTA; neither were any of my friend’s parents who liked me. The teachers did not care about this. Ultimately I just wore what I wanted, my patent leather collar from Hot Topic with large but flattened spikes, and I had guessed correctly—the teachers also did not care enough to discipline me.

I often see people on tumblr, mostly the very young, flail around in discourse. They don’t have an objective. They don’t know what they want to achieve, and they have never thought about strategizing and interpersonal effectiveness. No one can get everything they want by being an asshole. You must be able to work with other people, and that includes smiling when you hate them.

Read Machiavelli. Start with The Prince, but then move on to Discourses. Read Musashi’s Five Rings. Read The Art of War. They’re classics for a reason. They can’t cover all situations, but they can do more for how you think about strategizing than anything you’re getting in middle school and high school curricula.

Don’t vote third party unless you can tell me not only what your objective is but also why this action stands a meaningful chance of accomplishing it. Otherwise, back up and approach your strategy from a new angle. I don’t care how angry you are with Biden right now. He knows about it, and he is both trying to do something and not doing enough. I care about what will happen to millions of people if we have another Trump presidency. Look up Ross Perot, and learn from our past. Find your objective. If it is to stop the genocide in Palestine now, call your elected representatives now. They don’t care about emails; they care about phone calls, because they live in the past. I know this because I shadowed a lobbyist, because knowing how power works is critical to using it.

How do you think I have gotten two clinics to start including gender care in their planning?

Start small. Chip away. Keep working. Find your leverage; figure out how and when to effectively use it. Choose your battles, so that you can concentrate on the battle at hand instead of wasting your resources in many directions. Learn from the accumulated wisdom of people who spent their lives learning by doing, by making mistakes, by watching the mistakes of their enemies.

Don’t be a dickhead. Be smarter than I was at 14. Ask yourself: what is your objective?

i love how paarthurnax has this inclination to politely shit talk the other dragons, like calling alduin "grasping and troublesome" or odahiviing "headstrong and rash." like behind the visage of a philosophical hermit is the biggest gossip among the dovah.

I had a dream about Wyll Baldur'sGate3 last night despite not playing this game. He was very nice to me and helped me solve the mystery of who was amputating my limbs while I slept. Overall 5/10 dream, quite horrifying actually, but Wyll was a calming presence and I trust him.

Did You Know: The House of Dibella employs a large network of archaeologists, couriers, dealers, and scouts dedicated to the discovery, preservation, and recovery of pieces of antiquity and art?

i didnt know a bunch of incels were training their tongues to rest on the roofs of their mouths to try and train their jawlines. i just do it bc i am autistic

AITA if i choose love over duty?

(Asshole)

I [24m] have found the love of my life [15f] and have run away with her. Unfortunately I am already married to my wife [27f] (it was arranged) plus my girlfriend's fiance [20m] is really mad about it and is threatening to wage war against my father's crown. I feel like this is an overreaction especially since I really need to bring about the salvation of the world and also I really like my girlfriend she's really cool. AITA?

Top comments

u/ladygaydy

-ESH SOMEONE CALL CPS?????

u/frogeater420

-YTA + KYS

u/fleatop4bottom

-INFO what is your dad like? is this just the straw that broke the destrier's back? waging rebellion is a HUGE risk

--u/silverprince

---My father is very opiniated (My wife says he's racist) but he's got untreated PTSD and all his employees are taking advantage of him. I'm hoping to get him some help and take over his duties. Obviously this is on the backburner for now.

u/swordomorning

-NTA You have the weight of the world on your shoulders my brother. Gods speed and may love and light be with you on your journey. Dawn stands with you.

--u/silverprince

---Thank you. I will remember your loyalty.

--u/frogeater420

---inshallah i will end your bloodline