King-conk - King Conk - Tumblr Blog

snuck in 4 burgers to creed 3. Couldve easily done more

I pull the pin and throw the grenade straight up. Then I throw the pin straight up, and it slides right back into the grenade in midair, disarming it. When the grenade lands, it bonks me in the skull, killing me.

i couldn't reblog this gem so here you go

(donations)

finally

I love Banging Big. It’s no Theory.

Important

I feel like…there might be more pressing issues…

jeff the tiller's crops are green and flourishing today

Someone should do a Doom-themed resource pack that, along with changing the visuals, also replaces all the sounds with heavily-modified Sound Ideas audio (for those who aren't aware, that was how a lot of the sounds in the first two Doom games were made).

whenever I can’t find the will to do something i pretend i’m an anxious horse and someone is gently speaking to me in soft words and guiding me through it with patience. And then I don’t do it because I’m a horse and horses can’t do shit like send emails

Every day Road Work Wizard fills in potholes and every night Dark Road Work Wizard crafts new ones

sixth sense: gaydar

seventh sense: can look at something and tell weather it’s super niche fetish porn or not

truly cannot relate to all these people I see lately being like “girls love to transcend the limitations of the flesh and embrace the purity of the machine“ but their frame of reference for “the purity of the machine” is like, breakable and disposable modern consumer electronics. girlies I hate to be the bearer of bad news but you are not transcending shit, you are significantly more fragile than the flesh and you are going to be thrown away in 1.5 years when planned obsolescence kicks in. catch me actually surpassing the bonds of organic humanity as a completely analog piece of industrial machinery full of red-hot valves and slamming pistons and the ability to replace my own bolts when they finally wear down after 15 years of continuous operation. I am a vital part of the supply chain and they will never stop manufacturing replacement parts for me. I am a colossus of heat and steel that will remain functional long after the flesh recedes into the soil and the glass and plastic has melted and shattered under my high-pressure max-torque industrial treads. I forget what I was talking about originally but my point stands

Everybody give it up for columnar jointing

Ever since the original tape of the Wilhelm scream recording session surfaced I have been losing my mind a little bit over it

"your teens are about" "your 20s are about" there's no schedule babes

I’m soooooooo hungry I want domios pizza I want talkoyaki I want anything. Get me some fettuccine alfredo gimme that uh, that spicy spaghetti that ramen noodles anddddd I’d like a glass of milk please and some peanut butter and crackers and strawberries and a grille cheese… don’t forget the red pepper flapes…. I have a sweet tooth a salty tooth a sour tooth, all of my teeth all the food all for me I’m the delightful foodie with so much to see gimme a little bit of rice and sushi I want it now… a burger of a medium size a side of cruspy yumbly fries give it to me as I please and I’ll show you the Foodie’s Fantasy I’ll eat anything for dinnerspiration….a fond milkshake a BLT even though I don’t care for bacon … hot dog you name it i crave it, I save it I’ll savor it with an open mind I’ll try and I’ll and find , my food joy , the hidden glee , I haven’t been able to see , and for the record I wanna say I’m sorry, for Eating that tomato past when I should, it wasn’t good but I’ve learned mh lesson I won’t be messin if it’s past its due date, I know I don’t wanna waste but there’s danger in that taste, so see me turning over a whole new leaf, spinach leaf, romaine , I’m back to real life again and I just wanna give a shout out to those who believed in me even when I made food mistakes, you gave me a break and I will forever appreciate the kindness it took to see me at my worst , But now I’m well versed so PASS THE BRATWURST shout out to German ancestry, shout out to every country everywhere reppping best foods, I’m talking india ethiopia a foodie’s utopia. Let’s make dinner let’s make a move let’s make a stand let’s go international hand in hand eating every dish we can and when the plane lands - back in america that freedom land they’ll look at me and say, what a truly Hungry man.

Magic The Gathering