Yeeesss - Tumblr Posts

my pitch for why Wanderer and Furina should be friends (and that they should meet through an interlude quest like Itto and Xiao)

"viewed as flawed for being too human" vs "viewed as perfect due to being human". (aka false god trauma yknow.)

they both wear blue (blue besties!!!)

half of their dialogue would be trying to say they're better than the other, but neither of them actually believe that

furina loves sweets. wanderer hates sweets. battle to the death.

in one of her character lines, furina says she loves to surf, so furina teaching the wanderer how to surf would be the funniest fucking thing ever and i will not take any arguments on this

BOTH OF THEM HAVE WHOLE THINGS INVOLVING CRYING??? FURINA'S PROPHECY VS WANDERER CRYING WHEN RAIDEN TRIED PUTTING THE GNOSIS IN HIM??? (this ones in all caps cause i realized it while making this post)

the only two characters to have received a vision on screen should get to be besties methinks

furina having to learn how to act inhuman vs the wanderer having to learn how to act human

"why did you give your hydro pets such complicated names" "I- you- well- uh- YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A NAME" "HEY-"

i just think it'd be both funny and angsty and bro thats the perfect combination when it comes to media. they are THE gap between a tragedy and comedy

i think they should be allowed to make fashion choices, i just don't think all of those choices would be wise

or: how social media came to be blocked within The Resolute's airspace

(kix can be a little goth. as a treat.)

just me yapping about my au you seemed to like

Alastor 💖💖

A rather angsty Pidge-centric post-Finale Idea

So like they all get thrown out of a wormhole mid-wormholing, right? Now, I’m going to imagine that being thrown through a wormhole like that will probably alter time a little, like how time’s altered around a black hole (which is basically what a wormhole is) so conceivably, you could have one of the paladins, say, pidge, fall through and get trapped on a planet with a lion with not enough power to leave for say… 5 years, while the other paladins take between one week and one month to be rescued by allura and Coran.

So we could have Pidge stuck on this planet, which has a native, non-Galra population on it, who all see this thing crashing down onto the planet and immediately announce Pidge as their God. So the person who can’t really survive without tech is stuck on a overgrown jungle planet with no technology, and no escape route, and no Galra to fight to take their mind off things or feel useful. At first they’d be patiently waiting for the others, but after the first few months they start to lose hope that the others will come find them.

By the time the others actually get there, Pidge has given up and attempted to escape the reality of their helpless, lonely situation by divulging in the native’s beliefs that they are a god, setting themselves up a big, regal castle surrounding their lion, who they talk to all the time as their “only friend”, and all dressed up like a child playing dress-up, with a crown and oversized cape and everything. 

The others are very confused, because they know the wormhole altered time when they were flung from it, but at most it was only a month, how could everything have gone like this in a month? When they actually get in contact with pidge again, they expect pidge to greet them as family and come back, not for Pidge to order the team to call them “your majesty” and to bow in their presence. Pidge looks just as childlike as they used to, so everyone assumes they just hit their head and forgot everything, since they doesn’t look like they’ve been here that long, and nobody wants to think about the worst case possibility.

When Allura, tired of all of the playing around, actually asks Pidge if they remember her and the others, they avoid the question entirely, quickly slipping back into their fantasy and demanding she be thrown in the dungeons for speaking out of turn. Keith tries to intervene and gets taken away too, while the others watch and wonder what happened to Pidge to make them do this. Shiro is the one who finally figures it out, stumbling across an old diary as he’s shown around the castle. He’s shocked to find it full of Pidge’s scribbly handwriting and their account of the events, narrating their slow loss of hope and withdrawal into themselves, with the final few pages simply being the repetition of the phrase “they’ve abandoned me.“ 

When they’re all brought in front of Pidge, as they decide what to do with the team, Shiro pulls them into a hug, apologizing for how long they took and telling them that denial isn’t the answer, that they can’t hide in fantasy and ignore the truth, no matter how painful it is. The rest of the team have no idea what Shiro’s doing until Pidge breaks down in his arms, wailing about how they thought the others had abandoned them and how it had been so long, and they never even expected the others to come back except for to take the green lion away and find a new paladin, and how afraid and alone they were on an alien planet with nobody they knew, how they couldn’t do anything but pretend they didn’t remember because if they ever stopped to think about how their only friends had abandoned them to die on a planet they didn’t even know they’d probably go insane, and how they were so scared and they just wanted to go home, they thought everyone hated them, that the only way out was to cover themselves in fantasy and ignore everything related to the past to try and make it go away. 

Shiro carries Pidge back to the ship since they’re in no state to carry themselves, little more than a sobbing, shaking mess, babbling hysterical nonsense, while the rest of the team crowd around them, horrified to see the poor paladin in such a state and feeling terribly guilty for what pidge went through. Shiro could barely handle one year in the middle of nowhere with only aliens for company, five is too much for anyone, and without any sense of familiarity or anyone to sympathize with, it brought Pidge to the point of madness.

After a few days on the ship they’ve composed themselves, but they’re still not the same person they used to be, slipping into the native’s language in almost every other sentence and much more childish and moody, sometimes outright attacking the others if they annoy them, often running away and hiding if anyone tries to talk to them about their time on the planet. It’s common to see pidge walking round with a blanket draped around their shoulders like the cloak they were so used to wearing, and they still are more likely to respond to "your majesty” than “Pidge”, which can make things hard. 

Shiro tries his best to comfort Pidge, knowing how it must have felt, and how unstable one’s mind can be after such trauma, and Pidge seems desperate for help. It’s very rare to see one without the other. Wherever Shiro goes, Pidge goes, usually holding his hand like a lost child or perched upon his shoulders, a spoilt child of make-believe royalty, a makeshift crown perched on their head. The team finds that Pidge is much more clingy than they used to be, always cuddling up to Shiro or leaning against him if they’re standing up. Shiro doesn’t mind this though, he’ll do anything to help his team members out. It’s commonplace to see them cuddled up to each other in various places, one or both of them asleep. Shiro doesn’t try to talk to Pidge about the five years they spent alone. He waits until Pidge is ready to tell him. 

It’s a slow, uphill battle, but eventually Pidge is able to open up and trust again. The painful memories aren’t healed yet but they don’t hurt as much as they used to, and everyone does their best to help Pidge out, even though they have their own problems. They still cling quite a bit to anyone they trust, and they still can’t sleep alone, but they’re getting there slowly. Every so often the others will see the spark in Pidge’s eyes. It’s dim, and faded, but that hope, that wonder, it’s still there. One day, they’ll be back to normal again. 

Coming into a fandom late

Hello again, miss me?😏✨️

This is just the beginning 🤭🤭🤭❤️

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

GHOSTBUSTERS: FROZEN EMPIRE IS TODAY BABY

LET'S GOOOOOOO

I can't look at ANYTHING Ghostbusters related on Tumblr because then I'll spoil the whole movie for myself and I wanna go in completely blind but OH MY GOD

i'm reblogging this after the movie

Forgive me Father for I have sinned, and the sin is romanticizing possessive boyfriend!Sukuna. I so rarely can imagine myself calling a man daddy because it just does not suit me, but I think when it comes to Sukuna I’m making an exception. Did I write this because I now own him on Mudae and I think he deserves to own me too? I guess we’ll never know.

Possessive Boyfriend!Sukuna x fem reader, very much tw for possessive and likely toxic relationship (up to reader’s interpretation tbh), he controls every aspect of your life, contract ownership kind of stuff, choking on his cawk😭, rough sex, doggy, pile drive, mating press, a lot of daddy and good girl usage 😀👍

Sukuna is the type of boyfriend to believe that when you agree to be his girlfriend, you’re agreeing to give yourself to him. It’s not the same as the reasonable expectation of loyalty you’d give to a new partner, he expects much more. You’ll quickly learn that you’ll be expected to treat yourself like his property, and you know better than to mistreat his property. He might even draw up a contract with his expectations for you, but they’re not entirely bad.

He expects you to sleep enough; no more late night outings with friends or staying up too late watching TV. Even before you live together he’ll expect you to report your location to him, and let him know what time you’re going to sleep. You don’t think he’d be able to tell if you were staying up later than you told him you would, but some part of you worried he would find out. He doesn’t want you drinking or using recreational drugs because he thinks you’re causing damage to yourself and he won’t tolerate you doing anything to hurt yourself, even if you think it’s innocent fun.

He won’t only make you wear things he likes per se, but he’ll make it worth it if you do. He lets you spend his money to buy yourself new clothes or jewelry, but he’ll only let you spend a lot if it’s something he wants to see you in. He’ll take you shopping and buy you clothes you’d never buy yourself, both because they were too expensive and not your style, but the attention he gives you when you choose to wear them makes you consider changing your style just for that praise.

His control of you extends to your daily activities, but you still have the freedom to choose what you’re eating, the friends you see (no guy friends), the places you go. When it’s just the two of you alone, he controls you completely. On the weekends when you don’t need to work you stay with him and follow him around like you’re a puppy looking for his attention.

To Sukuna, you need him to survive in this world. He wants you to love him more than you love your own father, and he’s certain he loves you more than your father does too. If you weren’t so easily swayed by his charm you’d recognize how fucked up this dynamic is, but his charm is not the only thing that sways you. When you want something, he’ll know, but you’ll have to obey a new rule that initially made you feel uneasy.

As if he could read your thoughts he says “All you need to do is ask sweetheart” when you want him to touch you, kiss you, fuck you. You soon learned that the magic word with Sukuna was not “Please”, that didn’t do it for him; when you asked for something, you needed to end your request with “Daddy.” If you never saw yourself calling a man daddy before, you’d get over it once you saw what using that honorific earned you.

At first you’d ask things like “Will you watch a movie with me?” or “Can we go out tonight?” but you wouldn’t receive an answer until you ended those questions with “daddy.” You’ve learned to say “Will you watch a movie with me, daddy?” or “Can we go out tonight, daddy?” and you’ve decided that it’s worth it to use this term any time you want to ask him something, or just in general. When you call him daddy he looks at you like he sees just how vulnerable and insecure you are, and he’ll do anything to keep you safe. He looks at you with a spark of protectiveness in his eyes, almost primal enough to make you fear for anyone who might look at you the wrong way.

It’s equal parts protective and possessive. When you call him daddy, you’re admitting that you need him to protect you; when you call him daddy, you’re admitting that you need to be taken care of, and he takes both responsibilities seriously. You see his unusual way of showing his care for you most often when you’re alone, and anyone else who might see how he treats you could understandably think he doesn’t respect you.

When you were first getting used to calling him daddy and you failed to do so, he’d spread his fingers up the back of your skull, grip your hair, and pull your face right in front of his. He’d say “How can I make you remember what to say when you ask me for something sweetheart?” with a look of frustration and maybe some pity in his eyes. He didn’t want to scare you into obeying this simple request, but maybe you needed to see what you deserved if you didn’t give him that respect. What he did didn’t scare you enough to consider leaving him, but it did make you realize that he is and always will be in control of you.

The first night you really came to believe this was when he’d already expected you’d learned that he’s worthy of receiving your obedience. Your commitment to remembering what to call him was the primary indicator of your obedience, and he was frustrated that you still didn’t seem to think it was worth remembering. He would make you remember, and since then the only times you “forgot” to call him daddy were times when you wanted to be reminded of how much he needed you to submit to him.

He’d already instructed you how to request things from him, but you seemed to forget almost every day, and he couldn’t let that become a habit. The hand he didn’t have gripping your hair he used to wrap around your neck carefully, but entirely. Your life was in his hands and he knew you were aware of that fact, and that he could take it if he really wanted to. Your heart was beating so hard he could feel your pulse against his gentle grip, and he smirked at you like he was entertained by how nervous you’d become.

He showed you he didn’t intend to hurt you with a tender kiss on the lips that made you realize he’d never really injure you, even if it seemed like he wanted to. His gentleness in the moment then shifted in a second; the hand around your throat pushed you down to your knees and he pulled your hair to bend your neck back so you looked up at him. He looked down at you and smiled like he was excited about teaching you this lesson, but the look sent a chill down your spine.

He placed his hand against your cheek and used his thumb to brush your bottom lip. Soon that thumb had pulled your jaw down so your mouth was open wide, and he chuckled at how pretty your unoccupied mouth was. Before you could even take a preparatory inhale he’d pulled his frighteningly big cock from his pants and slid it into your gaping mouth in one motion. He groaned “Oh fuck, look at that taking so much of daddy’s cock in your mouth” which made your pussy tingle. He sounded so proud of you, and he should’ve been with the way his dick stretched the limits of your jaw.

He placed both hands around the back of your head to keep it still while he fucked himself into your mouth. When you least expected it, he’d give a particularly deep thrust that ended up forcing his cockhead against the back of your throat and making you gag. The next day when you opened your mouth to see why it felt sore when you swallowed, you saw that the cause was a circular bruise in the exact spot his dick hit your throat. When he was done fucking your mouth he pulled your head away, and you took a sharp inhale to catch the breath his dick had stolen from you.

He said “You haven’t earned the privilege to taste daddy’s cum. Gonna fill you with it instead” with a newly found aggression in his voice. You wouldn’t mind it, but you wouldn’t know until later how unprepared you really were. You quickly found yourself on the floor being supported by your hands and knees. You felt the heat of his body against your ass, and just after you felt his finger slide down your slit he pushed his cock inside you in one clean thrust. You cried out from the feeling of your pussy being stretched so quickly without any introduction, and as soon as you did he said “Too much for my girl to handle? Thought I taught you better than that” as if you were ever prepared to take his massive dick.

Just as soon as he pushed himself inside you, he starting pounding you from behind mercilessly. He squeezed your hips to give himself enough stability to fuck you as deep as possible, and he could feel if your body was instinctively trying to flee from the pressure. He said “Where you goin’ sweet girl? Lesson’s not over yet” and you suddenly felt like you’d done something worthy of punishment. As he fucked you without his pace slowing, you peered over your shoulder to see the look on his face like he was thrilled that he was already fucking you on your way to remembering.

In one movement he’d flipped you onto your back, with his muscular arms hooked under your hips and lifting them upward as he stood above you. He was already bigger than you, but seeing him from this angle, exerting no effort when he lifted half your body up towards him, made you feel even smaller than usual. He used his hand to push his cock down into you, and fucked you hard into the floor while he smiled down at you. The only part of you still making contact with the floor was your shoulders and head, the rest he kept lifted so he could fuck into you with as little restraint as he’d shown you before.

He asked “How’s it feel sweetheart? Daddy’s cock too much?” like he already knew the answer. Your body wouldn’t need much convincing to agree that it was too much, but you were too stubborn to admit defeat. You said “N-not too much” weakly, you struggled to force the words out with the way you were bent in on yourself. He laughed a wry chuckle like he knew you wouldn’t feel this way for long. Not that he wanted to hurt you, he just wanted you to never forget why he was your daddy. Tough love was his specialty, and his way of teaching you this important lesson was by showing your cunt no mercy.

By that point his demeanor had softened and he wondered if he should take another approach. You hadn’t yet willingly called him daddy; this was a test to see if you’d offer up this respect just by witnessing what he could do to you. In another second he’d lowered your hips and put you in a deep mating press that was still extreme, but now his face was close enough to yours to really see the look in his eyes. His gaze was so fixed on you it became intimidating, as if he was trying to telepathically communicate what he wanted to hear. Some part of you knew, but another part of you wondered how you’d even say it naturally.

His cock drilled into you, and he lowered his face barely an inch in front of yours so you could feel his breath against your lips. His dick was rubbing too perfectly against your insides that you felt he’d be making you cum in the next few minutes, and you expected he’d soon follow. He teased you, lowering his lips and barely pressing them into yours before pulling away when you tried to kiss him back. “You’re gonna cum aren’t you?” he asked like he could feel how close he was bringing you. You nodded yes to confirm that he was on his way to making you cum, but he suddenly slowed his pace.

“You wanna cum sweetheart?” he asked, and you whimpered out of frustration that he’d made you lose the orgasm he’d been building up in you. You almost wanted to cry and choked out a whiney “Mhm” hoping he’d take pity on you and pick up the pace again. “All you have to do is ask, my love” he said in an unusually sinister tone. At this point you’d do anything to cum, so you mustered up the strength to mumble “Can I cum?”

He chuckled and said “Aw, try again sweetheart” much to your disappointment. Your mind searched for the words that he must be looking for, and what you came up with was “Will you please let me cum?” His eyes burned into yours, and this time he whispered “Can’t tell me you haven’t learned your lesson yet. You know what I need to hear” like he was truly threatening you. He punctuated those last few scolds with 7 deep thrusts that brought out deep whines from you each time. As if those few fucks shook some part of your brain and knocked the necessary word free, you realized what he needed.

“Will you let me cum, daddy?” you asked in a pathetic tone, but this weak sentence made Sukuna laugh out loud like you’d just told him the best news of his life. “Fuck yes, there we go, what a good girl, you finally learned your lesson. You know what good girls get? Good girls get to cum” he told you with a cadence that was unusually kind for what he was doing to you. He pushed you further in on yourself, burying his cock so deep inside you it made your stomach visibly squirm with each thrust.

As if your words sparked a flame underneath him, he pounded into you like a machine and you quickly found yourself screaming “Don’t stop daddy” much to his delight. “Fuck baby, my smart girl learning her lesson so well. Daddy will let you cum” he growled at you like his pride was overcoming him. The veins in his neck bulged and he was filled with a surge of testosterone that made him fuck you even harder, and within a few seconds of his increase in speed you cried out a final whine and came on his cock.

Your legs tried to clamp shut but his arms kept you open; you panted and gasped for breath as you spent an eternity cumming. Before you finished catching your breath he moaned “Gonna cum sweetheart, you’ve earned it” and you felt a final deep thrust that ended with him burying himself into you all the way and letting his flood of cum fill you.

Sukuna kept you in this position for longer than what was comfortable, but he didn’t care. You looked so helpless beneath him, pushed in on yourself with your face a sweaty mess and your pussy already leaking with his cum. It was almost shameful to look him in the eyes but he said “Look at me” to get your attention and encourage you to take your eyes off your full, aching cunt and put them back on him. You knew you must’ve looked awful, but that’s just how he wanted you. He wanted you to be able to see what he could do to you, and that all he had to do was fuck you to get you to melt into his obedient little plaything.

Before he pulled out and let his cum flood out of you, he kissed you carefully on the lips and said “What d’you say sweetheart?” to which you eagerly replied “Thank you, daddy.”

twilight but edward cullen is played by glenn howerton

The 2012 Hamato Clan in their 20s

I got this idea from someone on discord. I thought I was so cool I had to give it a try!

Now that his brothers are less likely to accidentally kill themselves and Earth is at peace, Leo’s enjoying not being the parent for once, though he often still slips into his role as head of the family and mediator of chaos. He’s kinda given up on love and as accepted is role as “Cool, but also very dorky uncle.” I imagine he’s a lot like Iroh.

Raph has gone full Dad. Mona help’s him raise Chompy and I’d imagine that they adopted more weird alien/mutant kids as time goes on. Him and Leo still spar all the time to stay fit and go on crime busting adventures together with Casey. Raph travels back and forth between Earth and Salamandria every year so Mona can visit her family, and so Mona can show him her home.

Donnie has leaned into his “mad scientist” persona and has used the internet to release he’s discoveries about mutagen, the Kraang, the Triceratons, and everything else. He teaches science online for extra cash and builds his wildest dreams into existence. He too has kind of given up on love, being burned out by his self inflicted drama with April. Though little does he know one of his female students has a crush on him (even though she’s never seen his face) and is attempting to track him down.

Mikey hasn’t grown up, and never will. He still skateboards in the lair, and plays Mazes and Mutants with Ice Cream Kitty. Donnie introduced him to online gaming and he loves it. He’s got a team of other gamer friends (including Mondo Gecko) who he talks/plays with almost every night. He’s still to this day trying to convince everyone that Pizza Milkshake isn’t that bad even though Murakami-San told him that “some things are just not meant to be.”

April has gone to college to be a bioengineer as a pursuit of her passions in science. Casey plays for the professional hockey team that plays at April’s college. He was offered more money on a different team, but he would’ve had to move out of New York, so he stayed and after a few months, proposed to April. She said yes.

Karai is still the leader of the Foot Clan alongside her best friend Shinnigami. She hangs out with the Hamato clan all the time, usually coming over for dinner. Every six months, however she has to go back to Tokyo to manage the Foot Clan in Japan. Everyone is always happy when she finally comes back and they throw a party.

Splinter is smiling upon them.

CLUE (1985) dir. Jonathan Lynn

I was raised agnostic and tend to remain ambiguous on theological matters.

-but my house has a porch on the second story that affords me a terrific view of my neighborhood and the Colorado Front Range and I was partaking of some peace before the 4th Of July Finger-Loss Festivities begin, and I have had a

~*Spiritual Experience*~

I just watched my neighbor try to unload an actual wooden pallet that had to have been forklifted into the back of his insecurity pickup worth of fireworks.

Except that he does not have a forklift in his garage.

He does have so much sports memorabilia and cardboard boxes of unsold MLM Merchandise and patriotically themed camping gear and posters of women in bikinis and flags of suspect political organizations in his garage that there is only BARELY enough space for the fireworks and certainly none for his truck.

So he had to unload the individual boxes of recreational explosives from the back of his truck and stack them in the minimal space he had cleared by hand. This is a tedious and time-consuming process as this neighbor has purchased a wide variety of recreational and locally illegal explosives instead of many of just a few types, so the individual boxes are rather small.

He begins, and this is crucial to what happens next, by cutting apart the industrial-grade saran wrap his explosives dealer had so carefully wrapped his merchandise in, and discarded it unsecured on his lawn.

Where Outdoor Conditions sometimes happen.

His process for unloading the fireworks is to 1. Climb up through the gate into the bed of his pickup truck (a feat made unusually difficult due to the slope of his driveway, and this man's fascinating decision to wear the world's Siffest and least Flexible Denim Overalls. 2. Once in the pickup bed, he selects ONE (1) box from the pile He is apparently from a niche religious institution that doesn't believe in stacking things. 3. Carries it awkwardly around the palette that barely fits in the truck bed 4. His wife yells "Be careful!" when he nearly falls out of the pickup. 5. He Yells "SHADDUP!" back at her. 6. The Large German Shepherd barks from inside the house. 7. He yells "SHADDUP!" back at her too. 8. He sets the (1) box down on the gate 9. Slowly and awkwardly climbs out of the pickup bed 10. picks the box back up, and carries it into the garage.

Question: Aren't you going to help this poor man? Answer: Absolutely Not.

There's four military veterans, MANY dogs, and several people with dementia in this neighborhood, all of whom are terrified by this chicanery every year and many neighbors have repeatedly asked him to maybe do the fireworks somewhere else. (This is the Eighth Year Running he's held a major demolition event in his driveway, and for those of you who can do math, you may be able to guess the precipitating incident to this little ritual) Additionally, I live in Colorado, a state marginally less prone to spontaneous and catastrophic conflagrations than a rotting grain silo, but only marginally. Our recreational explosives laws are written accordingly.

I am in fact calling the Non Emergency line to report Fireworks violations, and reading off the brand labels to someone named Dorothy, who is gleefully totaling up a SPECTACULAR fine for my oblivious neighbor.

However, while I'm on the phone with Dorothy, I notice the wind begin to pick up. and by "Notice" I mean "The Industrial Saran Wrap he left on his Lawn earlier is suddenly swept up about 100 feet into the air by an updraft intense enough to make my ears pop" And by "Pick Up" I mean "I look up to see the sky has turned a fun and exciting shade of glass green, and the bottoms of the clouds are bumpy and rounded, and the overall effect is not unlike looking up through the bottom of the cup at God's Matcha Boba Tea."

For those of you who do not live in places with Inclement Weather, these conditions mean "You have about 30 seconds before a Major Meteorological Event Occurs."

I move under the eaves. "Hang on Dorothy." I say, nose filling with Petrichor. "The show is about to be cancelled." "Oh, that doesn't matter!" Dorothy cheerfully informs me. "It's illegal for him just to possess those, no matter if he actually gets to set them off or not." "Terrific, because he's gotten maybe five boxes out of a hundred inside."

Sometimes, the weather gods are Merciful and give you a verbal warning, typically in the kind of thunderclap that makes your ears ring.

The Gods were not merciful today.

It's not often that I am in the time, place, correct angle or in a properly observational frame of mind to see this, But I got to see it today. Huh. I thought. I've never seen a cloud just DIVE for the ground before. Oh. I realized as it got closer. That's RAIN.

Sometimes, a thunderstorm will form in such a way that the rain that would normally be distributed over an area of say, five to tent square miles, is instead concentrated into an area of say, my neighborhood exactly.

So today, I was granted the rare privilege of being able to actually see the literal wall of water descend from On High and DIRECTLY onto my porch, my street, and my neighbor's truck, and his pile of unwrapped fireworks.

The sheer impact force of the downpour immediately scatters the teetering pile of fireworks boxes in the back of the truck, like the wrath of God striking down the tower of Babel. Boxes tumble, then are washed out of the bed of the truck by the deluge. Smaller Boxes are carried down the road in a little line by the stream forming in the gutter, like little impotent explosive ducklings.

My neighbor was definitely yelling something, but I could not hear what over the DEAFENING noise several million gallons of water makes upon high-speed contact with the earth's surface, but there was a lot of arm-waving and faces turning red as he went looking for the saran wrap that had probably blown to Nebraska by now, while his wife started disassembling the complex three-dimensional puzzle of interlocking material goods in search of a tarp. They do not have a tarp. They have one of those wretched Thin Blue Line flags though, and my neighbor jogs out in a futile effort to cover what's left in the truck.

Which is when the hail begins.

"HELLO?" Yelled Dorothy. "HI!" I shouted. "WE'RE HAVING SOME WEATHER!" "OH GOOD!" she shouts back. "WE NEED THE MOISTURE!"

I watch for a minute longer, but the loss was immediate and catastrophic- the hail is the size of marbles and dense and cares not for your pitiful cardboard and cellophane, ripping the boxes asunder and punching holes in the few things covered in plastic. The colors on the Thin Blue Line Flag are seeping all over the remains of that it was supposed to protect in a particularly apt visual metaphor. Not even the few boxes that made it into the garage are spared, as the German Shepherd escapes from indoors, and in an attempt to assist her humans, jumps directly into the small stack of not-yet-ruined boxes, scattering them into the driveway and deluge. She even picks one up so her humans will chase her around the yard, before dropping it in the gutter to be swept away.

So. I was raised Agnostic -but even I can recognize when God slaps someone upside the head and shouts "NO!" at them.

---

(If you laughed, please consider supporting my Ko-fi or preordering my book of Strange Stories on Patreon)

OOC: CavemanTrivia here! Chronicles of Oracle returns this Saturday September Seventh. In the meantime, here is an experimental animatic using the song Dinner Bell by They Might Be Giants. With the subject of our last journal page. Dr. Jeremiah Arkham