I Stay Here Rotting In Bed, Waiting For You. You Promised You Would Eventually Come Back And We Can Finally

I stay here rotting in bed, waiting for you. You promised you would eventually come back and we can finally be together. My heart hurts so much at thoughts of you never coming back..

It hurts knowing that the person you love doesn't adore you as much as you adore them. I know this will break my heart in the end, I already feel myself starting to spiral into a web of lies and broken promises. I'm a girl who feels too much. I feel so much pain in my heart every day, but I also feel so much love. My whole life I've always wanted the love I saw in fairytales. Where the prince saves the princess and takes her far, far away. Then they both live happily ever after. Now I do anything for love. The little girl I once was feels so sad. She just wants to be loved. I want to be loved, not lusted.

I think I'm starting to realize that I'll never truly feel better again. Every day it just gets so much worse. I try to think of a time when I was happy and everything was okay, but there was never a day in my life when I truly smiled and said I was perfectly happy. I thought running away from home would help the terrible memories disappear but...maybe the trauma of it all is catching up to me. Do people truly recover from the horrible things they had to go through? Will I ever feel better? Sometimes I don't want to get better. Talking to people about how sad I feel makes things worse because I know they can't save me. They can't help me. Only I can save myself but I'm scared that'll never happen.

I love rainy days, it feels like the angels are crying with me. ♡