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𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 - 𝑱𝒂𝒚 [ 𝑬𝒏𝒉𝒚𝒑𝒆𝒏 ]

I'm wishing I could see you tomorrow, the waiting is killing me, I wouldn't mind you visiting me even in my dreams. I really hope I can see you tomorrow, a promise I don't want to become a lie.

You said you were traveling home. So I hope I can see you tomorrow. When I open the door even if it was a tiring day, I wish you'll be waiting for me with open arms.

I don't want to celebrate one more birthday away from you. You promised you would be here.

Three days without answering messages, you don't answer my calls, you promised you would come home tonight.

You promised I'd have the best birthday ever, but you're not here. I don't want to distrust your word, I don't want this feeling.

I stirred once again on the already uncomfortable couch, you're not coming. Enough time had passed, maybe it was time for me to resign myself, it's not like you can throw away all your responsibilities with the group and come here in the middle of your promotions.

I am fully aware that even if you promised you would, it was not in your hands what schedule you would be given.

11:50 p.m.

I sighed as I took another glance at the clock, nothing separated us from the big hour. You promised to be first this time.

My heart was filling with sadness as I remembered all your promises, I didn't want this. I didn't want to blame you and I didn't want to remember everything we had said, but it was there. It is unforgettable.

I tried to distract my mind, to not think about the time anymore, to not think about the date but I found it impossible. I left my place on the couch to head for the kitchen. With blurred vision I began to clear the table, put away the food and put away the nice cake I had obtained hours ago from a nice bakery near home.

In my pants pocket my cell phone vibrated insistently, I stopped what I was doing to answer the call.

—¡HAPPY BIRTHDAY!—. The collective shout of 6 voices attacked me the second I answered, then everything turned into an endless mix of words and speeches that I was not able to understand.

—Thank you guys, I really appreciate it, you have been the first this year—. I answered without much encouragement.

—The first? But what about hyu...? Oh that hurt—. Niki had started to speak, but was interrupted.

—Shut up, you always talk too much—. I could make out Sunoo's voice in the background.

I sighed.

—Again thank you guys so much, I really appreciate it, I've missed you guys so much, I hope to see you soon... I have to hang up, it's time for me to go to bed—.

—But you can't... Ah stop it—. Niki was interrupted again.

—Okay, have a good rest. We miss you so much and hope we can celebrate with you next time, as soon as we are free we will take you for a date—.

I laughed at Jungwon's words, I knew it wouldn't be like that, Jay was not one of those people who enjoyed a date surrounded by the members. After saying goodbye and thanking the guys once again I ended the call and continued what I was doing.

12:20 a.m.

The cell phone screen lit up at the slight movement I caused to the table showing me on it the time once again.

He still hadn't called. Maybe he had forgotten, he hadn't even been with the guys when they congratulated me. I stared at the pretty cake, a waste of dessert that was not to be. I placed the little candle and lit it and in the saddest way I had ever experienced I began to intone in a whisper the most depressing "happy birthday".

I was about to blow out the candle when I felt two strong arms around me, I panicked so I jumped up trying to get away.

Who had entered the apartment? And how come I didn't hear it?

—Careful baby, you can hurt yourself—. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He was here. He really had come.

—Jay... How?—.

—It was hard, I didn't think I was going to make it... The guys helped me get out, I couldn't let you down—. He came up to me to wrap me in a hug again.— Happy birthday, babe—. He kissed my forehead and pulled me tighter to his chest, my tears were soon flowing, he had kept his word, he was really here.

—Thank you Jongseong, you are everything to me, I love you so much—. Jay caressed my hair while slowly and in a low tone he started to sing again the traditional chant in his style, while he made us dance slowly in the small kitchen.

—I know I almost failed you, it wouldn't be the first time... But I ask you to please never forget how much I loved you, I would move heaven, sea and earth to come back to you—.

I nodded without looking at him, I didn't need that. Maybe I had doubted, but still I always had my faith and hope in him, I loved him very much and I knew he always gave his all not to harm me, not to fail me.

It's ok - Yuki Tsunoda

* Reader is mentioned as Lin

We faced each other in the middle of that room, once again being the centre of attention of everyone present.

It had been almost a month since we ended our relationship, but she had been asking me to keep my mouth closed, she was looking for a way to tell her mother that our engagement had come to an end.

I felt uncomfortable, so long looking forward to this moment only to have it all go to shit in the blink of an eye because of some stupidity, all I wanted was to really be with her, instead here we were, pretending everything was fine in one more rehearsal for "the big day".

I needed to change this, I needed to have her back by my side, but if she didn't want it that way, there was nothing I could change.

I knew that everyone in the room with us would suspect that something was going on, who wouldn't when the bride doesn't want to spend time alone with her fiancé? As soon as she had the chance she would run away from me to start a conversation with whoever was closest to her. I felt ridiculous, we should be enjoying this, yet I felt like the most miserable person on planet earth.

"It's all set, Lin doesn't suspect a thing. Go and enjoy yourself with your girl."

Pierre's message repeated itself over and over again in my mind. The words were easy to twist.

It was all a misunderstanding and it was the cause of her dumping me. I tried to explain but she wouldn't let me, wouldn't even let me try.

And so it marked our destiny in an end.

In the huge hall where the rehearsal was taking place I felt like an intruder, my heart ached to see her and not be able to get close.

I moved away from everyone, I didn't want to be there, I didn't want to pretend, I was tired. I was near the big crystal door that led to the garden, I could easily go out and not come back.

I would still be the bad guy at the end of the story.

I was about to leave without looking back when her sweet voice stopped my actions and made my heart skip a beat.

—Are you leaving? Yuki, I.... I don't want this to end.— I turned around so I could see her face. She wasn't lying.—I made a mistake by letting you go without letting you give an explanation.

— I...

— It's ok Yuki, the boys have explained it to me.— She interrupted me by pointing to a corner of the room from where the boys greeted me. I was so immersed in my misery that I hadn't noticed that they were there—. You were so suspicious about something that I had a lot of doubts, I was afraid too. I certainly didn't want to believe you were fooling me, I know you're not like that, but my suspicions combined with Gasly's text... A story formed in my head and I didn't want to see reasons. Because of my mistrust I lost a month of having you by my side. I lov...— I approached her, cutting her words with a kiss.

It didn't matter, she was coming back to me. To the place where she always belonged. I held on to her as tightly as possible until she pulled away from me in embarrassment because of the loud screams of the boys that filled the place in silence.

미안해 •| ᶜʰᵒᶤ ʸᵉᵒⁿʲᵘⁿ |• [ ᵖᵃʳᵗ ¹ ]

It's been hours since you left home. It's been hours since that stupid argument. But not being here is part of your job, I know.

You were right, it's your room and only you know how you keep it tidy.  Even though I was right too, it's a mess. You should take the time to tidy up a little better. 

It's been a while since I last called you. I asked you to have dinner together, a truce to fix this stupid situation.  You refused my request. 

You're still upset, I could feel it in your voice.

The door to the apartment burst open, giving way to the thunderous voices of the boys coming in, playing and shouting. But you weren't there.

Why did you have to, why if everyone else was leaving did you have to stay? Why did you?

Heuning and Beomgyu went straight into the kitchen, looking for something to eat while it was time for dinner. Soobin took a seat next to me on the spacious sofa. Taehyun walked slowly in our direction after locking the door informing me that Soobin and Heuning had planned to go to the movies before dinner, mentioning that they had only stopped by the apartment to change. But he didn't mention you.

I struck up a conversation with the guys, trying to forget the fact that I felt rejected by you.  

Beomgyu zapped at the TV, while Taehyun fought with him for not allowing him to see what was on some channel. Soobin and Heuning had long since left, excited because the movie they would be attending looked very promising.

The next moment Beomgyu and Taehyun's voices stopped as did the constant switching on the TV. They had finally left a channel. But it felt strange the abrupt change of mood.

I turned in their direction and they looked like they had seen a ghost, frozen with their eyes glued to the TV.  As I prepared to take a look at what had caused their reaction, Taehyun obstructed my point of view and started talking very fast while trying to pull me along with him.

What was wrong with him? I was about to protest when the words of the person behind the TV set froze me in my tracks.

"A second explosion is reported at HYBE entertainment agency. The trapped people could not be rescued yet. Rescue bodies report that they expect 3 to 6 more explosions to happen due to the rupture of several gas lines. So far at least 10 people are reported trapped." 

The three of us kept silent.

Beomgyu changed the channel again, his hands were shaking, we all knew you were there.   

"It is reported that 2 or 4 people could be found lifeless. This is due to the difficult situation and that the location does not lend itself to a safe rescue. Viewers are asked not to be present at the site, as this could cause even more chaos than what is already there. This is primarily directed at all the young women who are crowding around the company in search of information about members of various groups in the company."

Why if I asked you to have dinner together did you have to turn me down? Why do you have to allow your pride to go so far?

One more change.

"The area affected by the explosions is reported to be on the central floors of the building, the area where the agency's practice rooms and locker rooms are stipulated to be located. So far, no injuries or people trapped in the few debris generated on the lower floors have been reported. It is reported that at least 7 people were on that floor at the time of the incident. All the victims have been identified, 4 or more of them could be company personnel and we have the report that 2 of them could be idols. We are not allowed to inform who they are or what group they belong to, to avoid increasing hysteria among fans."

I know it's you, I know because you haven't called yet. If we hadn't argued you'd be with me now. But you're not.

Another change.

"A successful rescue of 3 people has just been carried out, they were found trapped inside one of the elevators of the place, none of them has any serious injuries or damage."

The transmission was cut for several seconds after a loud noise was recorded by the microphones that were in place. When the signal came back on, the reporter was a little further away from the scene and had a frightened look on his face.

"We have just witnessed a new explosion, the rescue corps reports that this explosion can generate a collapse in the construction. Because of the previous explosions the foundations of the site were damaged. So far a large amount of debris has fallen, which will further delay the rescue of the victims of this disastrous accident."

Another one.

Everyone's nerves are on edge, Taehyun still hasn't let go of me, and I really appreciate it because his touch is the only thing that keeps me still standing and not on the verge of collapse.

The door to the apartment opens again, our eyes traveled to that point and for a moment no one came in and it kindles in me the hope that it is you, that you had reached to leave the Company before all this happened. Then Heuning enters, letting out little sighs, a sign that he was crying, followed by Soobin. Again, not you.

—Take your things, we'll go to the company.—

Soobin's request was in a calm voice, but no one moved, we just exchanged glances.

—¡MOVE!—

Beomgyu's shout brought us out of our state. Tae let go of me, from then on it was all a race, the boys looking to change clothes and everyone fighting for the toilet.

I went to your room, I felt calm, I wasn't scared, I wasn't afraid, and the thought of panicking had left me. 

I guess I hadn't quite assimilated the fact that you are trapped in a building at risk of collapse. Because there can be no other explanation for the fact that I was so calm.

I went to the closet and grabbed two sweatshirts. One was obviously for me, it was cool at this time of night. The other is for you, because when you left the house this morning you didn't have one with you and you're probably a little chilly. 

When I returned to the living room, the TV was already off and the boys were standing near the door.

They were waiting for me.

•

On the walk to the company many doubts assaulted me. Will you be okay? Did you suffer any damage? Did something even worse happen in there? Will you still be alive?

With all these thoughts in mind, I began to experience a strong pressure in my chest, everything around me spun and the boys' conversation began to be heard in the distance. I had to call you, I had to know you were okay.

You couldn't leave me now, you couldn't go away upset because of that stupid argument, I started a desperate search for my cell phone, but that was the moment when I started to feel short of breath.

Was this a panic attack?

I could see the worried faces of the guys who were almost on top of me. They all spoke at once and it was impossible for me to understand what they were trying to say.

Taehyun pushed them all away and helped me into a better position so that it was possible for me to breathe.

—You need to calm down, breathe...—

There were no words of encouragement, it wasn't an "Everything will be okay" and it certainly wasn't a "He's safe". Why we didn't know, we didn't know how you were doing and we had no idea what we would find when we got there.

When we finally arrived the boys came down immediately, but I didn't know what to do, would I be able to keep calm now that I had the real version of the event in front of my eyes?

I need you by my side, now I realize how much I really love you.

This morning that you left we didn't say goodbye... we didn't say goodbye, we didn't give each other a kiss. We didn't say "I love you".

While I was in that internal debate of how to take the situation a loud noise like a big thunder flooded the atmosphere. The hustle and bustle of the moment stopped, everyone was looking at that big damaged structure. And without being able to avoid it, I turned my gaze behind the glass to the same place.

A large part of the building had collapsed. The area around the site had been reduced to rubble.

Not far from us stood one of the reporters we had seen on television. He immediately settled down in front of the frame to report on the latest development.

A little further back was a group of firemen, one of whom was carrying a megaphone through which he began to instruct people to move away from the structure for safety.

I turned my attention to the reporter to hear his last words.

"After minutes of waiting, the collapse the authorities were talking about has happened. The rescue forces communicate that they expect to find the 7 people who were trapped lifeless. The weight of the debris is too much for anyone to have survived."

The Lieutenant in charge took the megaphone and made the announcement that woke me up from my state of shock.

—The explosions were on the central floors of the building, the columns of the site are already too badly damaged and the upper floors are beginning to collapse. There is no hope for a successful rescue.—

I immediately got out of the car, it couldn't be true, what we had just witnessed had to have been an illusion, this couldn't end like this.

I need to see you, I need to hold you. I need to tell you how much I love you, one more time.

I ran towards the building dodging all the agents that tried to stop me, if they didn't come in to get you I would, because I need to have you by my side.

Strong arms wrapped around me preventing me from continuing to run into the building. They held me close to his chest, which was rising and falling in agitation, he had run after me. And there, in the warmth of that embrace a new hope grew within me. But I didn't want to turn around and find out again that it wasn't you.

— You need to stop, you can't do something like this, what do you think you can do for him once you're in there? You couldn't do anything.—

Soobin's voice came directly from the one who was holding me, so.... Again it wasn't you.

I felt my heart sink in a sea of anguish. Why aren't you here with me yet? What are you waiting for? Come on, get out of there.

•

"All night has passed and rescue teams have still not found any people trapped under the wreckage."

"After what seems to be 12 hours of the tragedy, the rescue teams have managed to stop the explosions and have also controlled the fires caused by these."

•

It's been more than 24 hours since I last saw you.

The guys dragged me back home, that I needed to sleep was their argument. But still, in the silence of the night, without you by my side, it was impossible for me to fall asleep.

I miss you.

Look at your room again. It is still the same as you left it yesterday morning. Your desk is full of notebooks and notes. On a chair and isolated in a corner is a pile of clothes, clean or dirty, I'm sure you don't even know. Sweatshirts and pants everywhere. And even as I'm admiring this mess again I think; are we really fighting over something so futile?

I need to hear from you.

I stood up slowly, I had to go there again. I needed news, and I didn't want to watch it through the TV, I had to be present on the spot.

I left your room ready to go back to the company. I left without making any noise, but when I got to the living room my plan went down the drain. Everyone was there, and judging by their expressions there was still no good news. I turned around and resignedly went back to the room.

I threw myself on your bed and without being able to help it I burst into tears. Why did this have to happen to us?

The sound of the door was like a whisper next to my uncontrollable sobs, this time that illusion that it was you didn't appear. I knew who it was.

Feeling the warmth of his embrace only made my crying increase. He didn't try to make me stop, he didn't comfort me, he didn't do anything like that. He did nothing but join me in my crying.

I knew that for the boys this was also a difficult situation. But of all of them, he was surely the one who was coping the worst, he also needed a support, but at this moment I couldn't be one, we were both equally broken.

I'm sorry Soobin, I'm sorry for not being able to comfort you.

part 2.   part 3

𝕔𝕙𝕠𝕚 𝕤𝕠𝕠𝕓𝕚𝕟 ;; 𝓇𝓊𝓃𝒶𝓌𝒶𝓎

Gazing at the stars next to him had never been so sad, think that this it might be the last time.

The sky looked particularly beautiful, the bright full moon illuminating our night and the stars, filling every space in that dark ocean, twinkling like beautiful sparkles that usually filled me with peace.

I turn my face to look at him. In the moonlight, he had a beautiful smile and his eyes were shining. Try on learn by heart every part of his face, so i always take it with me. I took his hand giving it a little squeeze, his smile got bigger.

—Okay, don't be afraid, we'll be together—. He gave me a small look along with a wink and then he continue to admire the stars as if nothing will happen.

—Bin, do you know what's going to happen? You haven't forgotten, have you?—.

—You must go, I know ... They're going to move but you don't want to, you don't want to go so far away.— his eyes roamed the vastness of the sky.

—I'm going to miss you, I'm really going to miss you—. My eyes struggled to don't shed those tears that flooded them, cus i don't want to cry in front of him.

—Maybe we can do something ... Should we run?—. I looked at him in surprise. What was he saying? How were we going to run away?. —We could go anywhere, nothing would stop us, not even the end of the world. You and me forever together.—

Silence reigned in the place after his last words, that was our promise, we promised to always be together, but this was bigger, my parents would not allow it.

—Soo, you know we can't fight this, my paren...—

—No, it's fine.—He interrupted me. —It doesn't have to be now, I'll go for you wherever you go, I'll be with you at any time, so when it's the time, run away with me—. His eyes sparkled with amusement.

And there i understood it, he would go wherever i was when i necessitate him. This didn't have to end here, he was willing to keep on, i also wanted do it.

—Should we run now?—. I smiled at him, Soobin nodding closer to me. He gently caressed one of my cheeks and then placed a small kiss on my forehead.

—We can run away when you want, just don't take your heart away from me, please don't move forward without me and when you need me please, call me, wherever, I swear, I'll go there—. His gaze fell on my lips and without hesitation he approached to kiss them, sealing our new promise.

미안해 •| ᶜʰᵒᶤ ʸᵉᵒⁿʲᵘⁿ |• [ ᵖᵃʳᵗ ² ]

Since the first explosion I could not stop thinking about you. I promised myself to do my best to get out of this situation safely, but I could't ignore the cries for help. 

I tried to be selfish, to think only of myself. But it was impossible. You would do the same. So I did it for you, for me. For them.  

They were scared. 

There was fire and smoke after every explosion. 

Don't leave me, don't let me go. 

I don't remember how many times I left that makeshift shelter. I went out in search of more people, I didn't want to leave anyone behind. 

I went out again. I had to be sure no one was at risk. I could not forgive myself if someone lost their life. I checked again one by one the rooms where I was able to enter. Screaming for a sign. 

It was getting harder and harder to breathe, the smoke burned in my lungs with every breath. But I couldn't stop, not now, not yet. 

My vision was getting dimmer and dimmer because of the dust and smoke mixed in the atmosphere. In certain areas I was beginning to feel a hellish heat, caused by the fire left by each explosion. Large chunks of concrete were falling everywhere, this would not last much longer. 

I stopped for a moment, just to take a look around me. And I was afraid. For the first time since the disaster started, I was scared. Afraid of leaving you alone, afraid of never seeing you again. 

I'm sure you're worried. I have to find a way out. It could take hours for the rescuers to reach us. 

I decided to go back to check on the others, when I felt a strong jolt. I stopped again and inspected my surroundings, everything looked normal, as far as I could tell. One step, that was all; one step and I felt a great weight on me. 

Everything went black.  

I needed to see your face, I needed to look into your eyes. I would like to be next to you, because when I look into your eyes everything seems better.        

I feel like breathing my last breath. Don't worry because everything will be alright.  I only have one life and I want to live it with you. 

I know you feel fear baby, I feel the same way. 

I sink deeper into this immense darkness. I begin to forget the way you used to look at me. I put my heart in your hands, I give you my soul to take care of. Could you forgive me for my mistakes, please! I am so grateful for the time we spent together. 

You became my everything. My soul is now at peace.

What are you waiting for? — Beomgyu [ TXT ]

I keep repeating the same thing over and over in my mind. I like Her, that's all.

Voices and the sound of the television invade my room from the other side of the door.

Outside her laughter fills every corner of the house causing my heart to ache.

It hurt to see her laughing with the boys, it didn't make sense she had always been like that. And if I just liked her why did it bother me so much?

I stirred once again, unable to fall asleep. Her voice sounded loud and high quickening my heart.

I stood up tired of not being able to sleep, I didn't know what to do. Should I join them? What are they doing? I slowly opened the door to look further down the hall. I could see her profile, she was sitting right next to Yeonjun. She was laughing and joking with him as he held her lightly by the shoulders. I felt my soul leaving my body.

I couldn't go on like this, I had to do something.

I had to figure out my feelings.

I left the room ready to go to the kitchen, from there I would have a better view of where she was. I had to keep an eye on her, I couldn't let her be with him.

It's not like Yeonjun hyung was a bad person, but she didn't have to be in his arms. I stared at them as my mind traveled elsewhere. I didn't just like her, she was the person I wanted to be with the most. I wanted her to be mine, I wanted her to just spend time with me.

A hand waved in front of my eyes snapping me out of my trance.

— It's Something wrong Gyu?.— And there she was, as beautiful as ever, I blushed as I shook my head slightly.—Are you sure?

She tilted her head a little bit trying to look me in the eyes. I nodded running away from her gaze.

I stood up and tried to move away from her, but she was quicker and grabbed my hand.

—Why are you running away from me? Lately you don't spend time with me and you always run away from me. I don't understand what's going on... Did I do something to upset you?— Her voice was a whisper, one full of feelings that attacked my heart, I couldn't leave her there. I couldn't leave and run away from her again.

I turned and looked her straight in the eyes, I didn't know how to do it. Did I say it all at once? Did I just say it? Nerves were beginning to flood my being. I couldn't do it, I couldn't.

I tried to turn around again but her words left me frozen.

—Is it 'cause you've realized that I like you? Is that why you're running away from me? I know we are friends, but I couldn't control my feelings, I'm really sorry if that causes you problems—. Her voice was getting lower and lower as she spoke, it became a whisper. She was going to cry.

My movements were fast, I brought her to me in an embrace, I leaned my head against hers while I gave small caresses to her hair. I was an asshole, she liked me, she liked me. God how could I not have noticed.

—Did you really like me?—. A silly question, but I wanted to confirm it, I wanted to hear it one more time.

—Don't make me repeat it Beomgyu—. I pulled her a little away from me to see her face, she was red as a little tomato and she was trying to hide her eyes from me. I laughed, she was so cute.

—I like you too, I like you a lot, but I couldn't decipher my feelings, I was confused and I moved away from you. I had no idea that you felt the same way I did.—

—Then what are you waiting for?—. I looked at her without understanding, she laughed while her cheeks filled with a crimson pink, she had blushed. I was about to tell her how cute she was when she caught my lips in a kiss, it had to be hard for her, she was on her tiptoes, with her arms around my neck. But to me it was the most tender act in the world. She really was the person I wanted by my side.