My Wife And I Are Similar To The Perciver Ship In HP And Somehow I Only Just Now Realized That.

My wife and I are similar to the Perciver ship in HP and somehow I only just now realized that.

First off, I am not married. I just refer to them as my wife because we have decided that if we are unmarried by 30 we will marry each other, and we are not going to be married by 30.

They're Oliver. Driven and, while outwardly a bit hyper and maybe somewhat messy, quite driven. Low self esteem which I don't understand because how can someone so pretty not know that they have fantastic hair and a brilliant personality and great bone structure and I need to shut up about how hot my wife is or my family will find out I'm gay, and they're Christian, so that won't go well.

I'm Percy, a burned out gifted kid with a probably autistic father and a nice mom. I burned out early but, as I was already severely psychologically damaged, I wasn't able to show that without triggering my fight or flight response because the idea of any visible imperfection causes panic.

Anyways, my wife is hot, I need therapy, good night.

I thought he was 8'5 for some reason. He doesn't have the metal arms and legs, so he'd only be about 7 lbs underweight

TW: EDs, discussion of weight, discussion of starvation, discussion of BMI. Stay safe out there bestie

So reportedly, SCP-073 is 6'0 and about 165 lbs. Why does this need to be posted?

Do you know how much metal weighs? Having metal arms and legs would make the absolute lowest weight of a healthy 6'0 male AT LEAST 300 LBS.

We could say that the metal isn't all that heavy, but for it to be functional at all (And it IS) it would still need to up his healthy weight range to at least 200 lbs, probably closer to 250.

*Violently shakes kin* ARE YOU OK? DO YOU NEED A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL?

We're going to use a BMI calculator to figure this out. We'll say that he's 7'0 because to be in a healthy weight range you must be at least 225 lbs if you are 7', and we assume that eh would also need to be in that range.

That would put his BMI at 16.4. This is considered dangerously low, and while his anomalous properties do allow him to be immortal, that doesn't mean that being in a state of starvation with no chance of turning down your metabolism to keep you stable won't have consequences. Quantity of life isn't quality of life.

All I'm saying is someone should check on this magnificent bastard.

You know the teacher everyone had a crush on? It was Lupin for Hogwarts. Girls, boys, everyone in between and everyone outside of the in between. Every. Single. Student. simped for Professor Lupin. He came back for the Battle of Hogwarts and suddenly all of the NEW students also simped for him. Even Percy Weasley wanted him.

Everyone wanted him when he was a student, and everyone wanted him when he was a teacher. And the best part? He never slept with any of his students. Hell, he didn't even realize everyone was in love with him until Pomfrey and Minnie pointed it out, and by then it was almost the end of the year.

You know the hypothetical of 'What if you were in a room with every person who ever masturbated to you'? For Remus, we'd need three football stadiums. Anyone who saw him fell for him.

IDFK man I just like Casanova!Remus. And concerned Poppy and Minnie. Like, "Hey, kiddo, you're gonna hurt yourself if you keep fucking any dude in your age group"

And he's like "DILLIGAF"

Oliver Wood, head resting on Percy Wood's shoulder, frustrated about a Quidditch loss: FUCK the Welsh.

Sirius Black: What do you think the entire male portion of the graduating class of 1978 have been doing?!

Kinglsey (No I will not put his last name, shame on JKR): Fucking SPECIFICALLY Remus.

I only stan Remadora in the sense that Remus and Tonks wanted to commit tax fraud and happened to be in the same area.

How did they get Teddy if this is the case?

Tonks: GET IN THE CAR WE'RE STEALING A CHILD FROM AN ABUSIVE HOUSEHOLD

Lupin: Great, I'll pin it on Greyback.

Sirius, completely speechless:

Are they not the same person? I think they're the same person.

Nearly Anyone in the SCP universe named Adam has f-ed up something important