I Thought He Was 8'5 For Some Reason. He Doesn't Have The Metal Arms And Legs, So He'd Only Be About

I thought he was 8'5 for some reason. He doesn't have the metal arms and legs, so he'd only be about 7 lbs underweight

TW: EDs, discussion of weight, discussion of starvation, discussion of BMI. Stay safe out there bestie

So reportedly, SCP-073 is 6'0 and about 165 lbs. Why does this need to be posted?

Do you know how much metal weighs? Having metal arms and legs would make the absolute lowest weight of a healthy 6'0 male AT LEAST 300 LBS.

We could say that the metal isn't all that heavy, but for it to be functional at all (And it IS) it would still need to up his healthy weight range to at least 200 lbs, probably closer to 250.

*Violently shakes kin* ARE YOU OK? DO YOU NEED A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL?

We're going to use a BMI calculator to figure this out. We'll say that he's 7'0 because to be in a healthy weight range you must be at least 225 lbs if you are 7', and we assume that eh would also need to be in that range.

That would put his BMI at 16.4. This is considered dangerously low, and while his anomalous properties do allow him to be immortal, that doesn't mean that being in a state of starvation with no chance of turning down your metabolism to keep you stable won't have consequences. Quantity of life isn't quality of life.

All I'm saying is someone should check on this magnificent bastard.

I KNOW it isn't canon but Remus 'Casanova of Gryffindor Tower' Lupin was not ONLY the Casanova of Gryffindor Tower, he was THE ENTIRE SCHOOL'S CASANOVA. The man wasn't just a slut for his own house. He'd make everyone swoon, and he'd get on his knees for 99.9% of the men and with a bit of convincing he might even be willing for the 0.1%. Ya man's a hoe.

Like-

Arthur Weasley: Apperantly muggles have this thing called a 'body count' where they count all the people they've had intercourse with!

James, now interested in the conversation: Does everyone know their body count? Can you name every person on it?

Marlene, with a dead straight face: Don't ask Remus that, we'll be here for days.

Also bc fkin trans Remus is my new favorite thing, this was the time in which trans people were most accepted at Hogwarts, because everyone wanted Remus and if you were transphobic, you didn't have a chance.

My wife and I are similar to the Perciver ship in HP and somehow I only just now realized that.

First off, I am not married. I just refer to them as my wife because we have decided that if we are unmarried by 30 we will marry each other, and we are not going to be married by 30.

They're Oliver. Driven and, while outwardly a bit hyper and maybe somewhat messy, quite driven. Low self esteem which I don't understand because how can someone so pretty not know that they have fantastic hair and a brilliant personality and great bone structure and I need to shut up about how hot my wife is or my family will find out I'm gay, and they're Christian, so that won't go well.

I'm Percy, a burned out gifted kid with a probably autistic father and a nice mom. I burned out early but, as I was already severely psychologically damaged, I wasn't able to show that without triggering my fight or flight response because the idea of any visible imperfection causes panic.

Anyways, my wife is hot, I need therapy, good night.

Oliver Wood, head resting on Percy Wood's shoulder, frustrated about a Quidditch loss: FUCK the Welsh.

Sirius Black: What do you think the entire male portion of the graduating class of 1978 have been doing?!

Kinglsey (No I will not put his last name, shame on JKR): Fucking SPECIFICALLY Remus.

The SCP Foundation as things my friends have said

Bright: Oh I forgot myself at home

Rights: STOP FUCKING ME AND LET ME FINISH THIS LEVEL!

Gears: I don't want you all to die, but if you went missing, I'd say you told me you were running away from this and changing all your information.

Teeth (O5-7): *Distant eldrich shrieking*

Founder (O5-1): I think I just heard my spine snap in half at the mere thought of trying that

Rights: Break my back like a glowstick daddy (Sometimes I think I need new friends)

Bright: So now there are two of us.

Kondraki, to Clef: Why do you look like a gremlin in the intro, but I look normal? Shouldn't that be reversed?

SCP-049: Bonjour bitch.

Kain: I'M A GOOD BOY *Sound of something breaking*

Roth: You say I'm a human in a catsuit, I say you're a cat in a fleshsuit!

Any person in the Foundation about Bright: She might have pneumonia but it's ok.

I have so many more of these, but I want to see if anyone actually wants this before I post more of this. I have come to the conclusion that my friends are all on some kind of strange drug, and I want it.

I suddenly made a lot of connections in a very short amount of time so I'm here to tell you about it.

In Harry Potter, lycanthropy is a kind of metaphor for HIV/AIDS.

Fenrir Greyback gave it to Remus Lupin when Rem was FIVE.

We just completely overlook that Lupin wasn’t a ‘Casanova’, he was a CSA victim coping badly

Why can't I be happy? And why have all of my comfort characters been hurt so badly? Like, without fail. All of them.