Who Takes Decision In Your Life?

Who takes decision in your life?

🌸 for anyone who resonates

I was met with one question "Who is in control of your life?" People replied "Me"; i thought to myself what was my answer? I never felt like i chose my choices. Sometimes they were wishful thinking that happened to come true. But most of the daydreams did not come true. Hint: No I didnt fall in passionate thrilling romance with a bad boy who only has soft place for me. Not to say that fantasies are useless. Fantasies are psychic processes that tell you a lot about yourself. They are not waste of time either. Fantasies tell you have a creative bone that is urging to express outside. Most of the times fantasies are when we are really bored stressed unsatisfied lonely insecure in life. Fantasies can be a way to quickly satiate unfulfilled desires.

But somewhere fantasies create unrealistic expectations that are almost impossible for the life we currently actually have. And that is a pretty shitty way to live. To be always living in glamour of fantasies, anticipating it and hightened expectations. Not to forget that for every 1 successful person there are 100s of those who do not succeed. "Just try harder", "Good luck next time", "You probably didnt work the right strategy" but the real answer is "I dont know why you did not succeed". I personally dont believe in law of attraction because it did not work for me. So I instead chose to go with the flow of the tao and let fate bring whatever result it wants.

Jeff Bezos once said "When a company comes up with an idea, it's a messy process--There's no 'aha' moment." What it means is that rather than panicking for the final result, try to solve the mess that the process is. As an 8th houser, my life + my parents' life (both 8th housers) have been very unpredictable; just when we thought things were stable something would create ripples and disturb the calm waters. From one extreme to the other, we were all affected by each other's fate and ups downs. Being a child, I would get neurotic thinking "why is my life not carefree like others", "why cant i be stable for one day", "does everyone have such rollercoaster life"? Then I would think "perhaps if we get through this life would calm down", "perhaps this is the last challenge", "just this time then i will enjoy life". Little did I know that 8th house is highly karmic and fated. Same for Saturn/Saturn in 8th house/Pluto placements. When life feels fated, you have no choice but to surrender to the forces. Because the more you consciously push the more life resists your movement. Problems of 8th house are not going to mild, we just learned to be calm in emergency, control our panic, calmly take logical decision and manage our life as much as possible. The lesson for these people was "to choose their emotional reaction".

"However simple an impulse appears to be, every nuance of its particular character, its strength and direction, its course, its timing, its aim, all depend on special psychic conditions, in other words on an attitude. And the attitude consists of a constellation of contents so numerous that they cannot be counted" - Carl Jung. My current life attitude is somewhere between cynicism, hopeful pessimism, taoism and stoicism. A mix of all these work for me. What it means is that instead of obsessing over things not under my conscious control (like result of an exam, behaviour of other people, fate of a relationship), I only focus on things under my control that is effort, reason and mind.

It is not passivity or defeatism. It is a life lesson for people who have faced many misfortunes to be prepared for the future and to make peace with the past.

What happens when what you see is not what you get?

This video is primarily about betrayal in romantic relationship, but I think that it applies to betrayal in all other relationships too like parent-child, siblings, extended family, professional relationships, friends. It is because the mechanism of brain is similar and the betrayal affects similarly in all human relationships. Romantic relationship is much more intimate than others, that is why the severity of hurt varies depending upon who betrayed you - your spouse or your sibling or your senior at work or a stranger in the street?

Betrayal means to violate the trust; cheating means to deceive, to trick, to fool someone.

I think that these videos will give you something to think about the human relations. This is the chronology of events, what happens when what you see is not what you get=

The present depends on the past.

I thought I knew this person = wrong.

I thought I knew this person so I knew something about relationships = wrong.

I thought I knew about the person and relationship so I knew something about myself = wrong.

I dont know trust.

I am too gullible.

This causes chaos.

Chaos is the descent into the lake beneath the thin ice you were skating on, in the underground, in the unconscious or the sphere of 8th and 12th houses.

In the underground, you do self introspection and trying to make sense of the reality. Turning chaos into order.

After transformation, you rise from the dead, come back from the unconscious, look at the world in a different way.

Your brain makes an alternative map of the world for you to rely on and to infer the patterns.

This is what we call the transformation of the 8th house, shedding the skin and rebirth. Psychological rebirth.

Self development series: learning to handle life.

For 8th housers, scorpio placements - stretch to cancer, pisces placements and risings.

*knocks* Hello, astro world, it's me.. look at my birth chart please and tell me what's wrong with me? Why is my life a mess..? Why do I attract such narcissistic, controlling, manipulative people in my life? Why do i feel like I dont exist and am constantly transforming..? I have a weird relationship with my family.. I have so much trauma... I just want answers...

Just a regular day in the life of natives with vulnerable placements. Until they heal their trauma (which can take years), they would not know how to handle their life. How to not fuck up their relationships, mood, reactions, career, body, mind. The hidden gift of these natives is to be in touch with their insticts and emotional life. They do not just exist but are in tune with their emotional states. When unevolved, they act on their impulses, feelings, imagination, thoughts mindlessly.

When evolved, they have a conscious control over their impulses, feelings, imagination and fantasies. This is a gradual process, not overnight, and one filled with many trials, challenges and fallings. Contrary to the stereotypes, these natives are not doomed to be crybabies/crazy all their lives. They certainly can handle their life, depending upon the whole chart, timing of planets and the luck.

The trick is to know when to be rational and when to let loose. The trick is to change your lifestyle in such a way as accommodates things you can control. For eg, do not buy tubs of ice cream if you know you binge eat in maniac state. The trick is to live in the flow, be in the flow of life, mindfulness comes naturally to you when you are not giving in to every self destructive impulse. The trick is to set values for yourself. For eg, do not do casual hookup if you know you will get attached and obsessive. The trick is to hold yourself to higher standards of behaviour. The trick is to find fellow similar/compatible placement natives who will make your life a little easier. The trick is to become aware of your own inner narcissist and stop feeding him/her what they crave, instead choose the opposite action.

There is a thin line between chaos and order, that these natives know very well of. Sometimes they feel like they do not belong to this world, they are misfits, as if they want to go back to home. As if they daily life is very harsh and tiresome to them. Beware not to fall into the grips of substance abuse and/or criminal gangs. At the end of the day, you are responsible for your life. You have to live anyway, so why not make it worthwhile?

"Everything of which I know, but of which I am not at the moment thinking; everything of which I was once conscious but have now forgotten; every thing perceived by my senses, but not noted by my conscious mind; and everything which, involuntarily and without paying attention to it, I feel, think, remember, want, and do; all the future things that are taking shape in me and will sometime come to consciousness: all this is the content of the unconscious." - On the Nature of the Psyche, The Structure and Dynamics of the Psyche, CW 8, par. 382.

Safety first: protection against manipulators.

Inner planets in 8th house/12th house/generational planets (Jupiter, Saturn in 8th house)

Sunday evening. You sit along with your friends and family for a nice relaxing hangout. Tea, snacks, gifts, laughter, full of energy. People sharing their stories and experiences. All well, few hours later, party over. You are still in the warmth of energy, joyed by the event, feeling good to be alive. Then.. something clicks. You are confused. This couple said things that dont sit right with you. What is it? You know in your head that this person was lying, the manipulation was so subtle that you only see it now, they were grooming the crowd to give them what they want. Welcome to the dark side of human psychology.

Intentional or unintentional, it does not matter, but you were manipulated and that is real. Some people go through life carefree and unbothered. Others know a little more. Every conversation we have with others is either an influence or a manipulation. Parent influences child. Teacher infleunces student. Spouse influences partner. Customer influences seller. Every person influences others, but when this influence is loaded with malicious, selfish and one sided exploitation, then you know you are being manipulated. When you give more than you get, are being misled and misinformed and being used as a social toy then you know you are being manipulated. Most disturbing manipulation happens from those who are closest to us, that is family, siblings and partner etc. When someone lies to you, they paint a picture in your head that does not exist. The lies distort your perception and affect your decisions, presuppositions about the world and opinions.

Why do some people never identify liars and manipulators? Because these people know what they want from others, are dominating Alpha type, extremely charming and love bombing, speak over others and assert their opinions on others. All of us have emotional needs and vulnerability, most necessary is the need for social acceptance and participation. We crave to belong to someone and some group. A lot of people never identify liars and manipulators because they are not so emotionally sensitive and enlightened. As unfortunate as it is, the world is after all not a bubble of well meaning and fair deal people.

Once you identify manipulative people, you also understand how futile it is to confront them. These people live in a different reality. They go to any lengths to manipulate people's perceptions because it benefits them. They are crazy making tricksters. Can you ever be "friends" with a trickster? No, in the end you lose more than you gain. Here is something you can learn from:

Here is quotes from the video: "The victims of people such as con men and snake oil salesmen, are those who are unconscious of trickster – they have been tricked by their own naivety, greed or self-deception. We have to be a little tricky, to guard against being tricked."

"We can deceive others or be deceived, but we can never deceive ourselves. Trickster forces us to look at ourselves in the mirror, and to the persona that we are putting on to impress others, to the detriment of our instinctual needs, our creativity and playfulness that is so vital to give us the energy that we need in our daily life."

Once you understand that the manipulators outside are a mirror to your internal trickster, it is time to change your beliefs about yourself and transform a little. This is why the 8th housers, scorpion, 12th housers are the ones to identify manipulation because their natural ability is to transform. Someone who has inner planets in 1st/2nd/3rd houses in air/fire signs simply would not have the ability to transform - but they can be a trickster if they are unevolved. Sadly, a lot of air/fire people stay unevolved because their natural ability is not to do self reflection. Water house/sign natives can learn from these natives, because it is said that the people who hurt you the most are your spiritual teachers.

“The so-called civilised man has forgotten the trickster. He remembers him only figuratively and metaphorically, when, irritated by his own ineptitude, he speaks of fate playing tricks on him or of things being bewitched. He never suspects that his own hidden and apparently harmless shadow has qualities whose dangerousness exceeds his wildest dreams.” - Carl Jung, C.W. Vol. 9.1: On The Psychology of the Trickster Figure.

In the so called transformation of 8th housers and scorpion lies the enlightenment and coming to the consciousness. It is to shed the ignorance of unconscious and primitive way of life. It is to dissolve your previously held ego and step into a new way of life. It is to get in touch with your spirits and the soul that is you. To change your habits and interests. One example, to stop listening to music and songs rather meditate, watch your impulse and emotions, create music rather than consume. This is a new way of life. One that will both change your interpersonal relations and your own inner life.

Descending into the unconscious.

The danger of the unconscious underworld is that it is pretty difficult to come to the shore by sheer will. Then to make progress upon the land demands directedness and stability of thoughts and emotions. One cannot make any progress in the land if he keeps hopping back into the unconscious.

Learning to explore the unconscious is a voluntary and conscious activity. It is not a mere jump into the ocean but a step by step walk along the waves, from the feet to the knees to the neck deep and then a final dive into the world of the unknown.

Exploring the 8th house of the unknown should not be a jump from the platform. Because then you fall straight into the deep ocean and struggle to swim afloat. A lot of activities in daily life can become this platform which connect the conscious to the unconscious. Music, myth, movies, stories etc are such doors to the unconscious - the thin veil where the order of sanity is distinguished from the chaos of the disorder. This is why, many people report escaping into another world when listening to music or reading a novel.

Lifestyle changes to accommodate this venture can help. A strong ego acts as an anchor in times of flood or unprecedented danger in the ocean. A helping hand or a companion can help as well, for when you lose the sight of the shore or forget that you need to breath, the rescue can come from a psychoanalyst or a friend.

Solitary diving, nevertheless, into the occult is an adventure one must partake. If the unconscious does not drown you at all, at least you will learn to swim. Just remember, going from one extreme to the other will not help in the occult. It will not help in the conscious world either. You cannot be a doctor one day and an engineer the other day. You cannot be a mystique one day and a psychotic the next day.

"The little prince" quotes for signs:

⚘Falling in love as a water sign:

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.

Words are the source of misunderstandings. But you will sit a little closer to me, every day.

⚘Falling in love as an earth sign:

It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important.

You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose.

⚘Falling in love as an air sign:

Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy things all ready made at the shops. But there is no shop anywhere where one can buy friendship, and so men have no friends any more. If you want a friend, tame me

⚘Falling in love as a fire sign:

One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you--the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three that we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or ever sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose.