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Intention matters

Have you ever met one of those people who pretend to be someone they are not inside? You might be surprised that so many people around us are actually actors. Intention means goal or purpose behind an action. For eg, someone dating a girl because he says "he loves her" but actually his intention is to use her for her money or use her for her beauty or to keep her for emotional work&security. Language is a powerful tool to connect with each other. We have a default tendency to trust someone with their words. If someone says "I am a doctor" you would trust they are because they said so. You might ask for their degree and cretificate for proof. This is a big example. Lets take a small example. If someone says to you "I care for you so much. You are my best friend". This is an abstract claim. What proof will you ask? Nothing. Only time will show if they actually meant what they said or else.

Apart from spiritual world, we also need material world for survival. Money, job, power, status are actually really important in life. You can pay for treatment of your loved ones. Education of your dear ones. Give them a comfortable lifestyle. Give money to social work and charity. Money is important in life. And it is obvious that not everyone will have an honest intention to make money in honest ways. Corruption is rampant.

In my observation, it is air signs that are most prone to saying something but intending something else. You might have to take their words with caution because lying comes easily to them. Air signs can mature of course. Remember, maturity does not come with age but self work. Maturity is hard work. It is not just aging.

The next question is whether their intention is malicious? Apart from psychopaths and sociopaths, others do care a bit about how others perceive them. I have read that psychopaths dont feel any guilt or shame. So these are the people who can lie and manipulate with evil intention.

On the other hand, most of the people think they are doing what is "right" to them. They will justify explain defend react how they acted righteously.

So, be very vigilant if you can when dealing with people. Life is hard and people can attempt deceptive ways to make their intentions meet the end.

Descending into the unconscious.

The danger of the unconscious underworld is that it is pretty difficult to come to the shore by sheer will. Then to make progress upon the land demands directedness and stability of thoughts and emotions. One cannot make any progress in the land if he keeps hopping back into the unconscious.

Learning to explore the unconscious is a voluntary and conscious activity. It is not a mere jump into the ocean but a step by step walk along the waves, from the feet to the knees to the neck deep and then a final dive into the world of the unknown.

Exploring the 8th house of the unknown should not be a jump from the platform. Because then you fall straight into the deep ocean and struggle to swim afloat. A lot of activities in daily life can become this platform which connect the conscious to the unconscious. Music, myth, movies, stories etc are such doors to the unconscious - the thin veil where the order of sanity is distinguished from the chaos of the disorder. This is why, many people report escaping into another world when listening to music or reading a novel.

Lifestyle changes to accommodate this venture can help. A strong ego acts as an anchor in times of flood or unprecedented danger in the ocean. A helping hand or a companion can help as well, for when you lose the sight of the shore or forget that you need to breath, the rescue can come from a psychoanalyst or a friend.

Solitary diving, nevertheless, into the occult is an adventure one must partake. If the unconscious does not drown you at all, at least you will learn to swim. Just remember, going from one extreme to the other will not help in the occult. It will not help in the conscious world either. You cannot be a doctor one day and an engineer the other day. You cannot be a mystique one day and a psychotic the next day.

I believe in ghosts but I do not believe in "good people".

"Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness of other people" - Carl Jung.

Self knowledge reveals that evil voice exists in the mind of every person alive. The constant and consistent evil voice judges, belittles, insults and ridicules others. A dysfunctional person speaks the evil voice and traumatizes others. But a self aware person suppresses the evil voice and speaks socially acceptable things.

Excuse the dreaded mother for once. The 8th house moon mother is infamous for her unstable and volatile emotional state. She is the primitive queen of her psychoemotional throne and yet she is her own worst enemy. Mara is the Buddha himself, Buddha is his own demon. Do not demonize Mara because he is not there where he is supposed to be. He is not in the hell, but inside Buddha himself.

Identified with an archetype, the individual is inflated and ignorant of his own inner life. He believes the social mask to be the real him. He defends himself against the accusations of adverse judgments of his character. He tightly holds close to his heart the self identity he believes himself to be. He is what others say he is. He is what he thinks he is. He is the few things his consciousness allows him to see.

Products of creative expressions paint an incomplete picture of the human psyche. Movies, TV shows, novels, youtube, myths are but a polarized division of human character. Rama is the great loving warrior prince but Ravana is the evil cruel monster king. The inner division of Rama and Ravana gives rise to neurotic, the mother who is battling against her own evil forces struggles to give birth to a saint. Saint is an archetype, not a personality.

"The line separating good and evil passes not through states, nor between classes, nor between political parties either - but right through every human heart - and through all human hearts." - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, The Gulag Archipelago.

Fear anyone who knows not his evil. He will show you his evil in the broad day light. Defensive and stubborn, he will shine in his ignorance. Self knowledge will tear him apart. It will demand change and sacrifice of what he holds so dear to his heart.

Evil voice is there in everyone's head and it speaks to everyone. No ear is an exception. Evil has no favourites. What appears to be a "good person" is born of habits, practice, genes and upbringing. A good person is made up of his actions which are good or bad that he chooses after thinking of the consequences in forseeable future. He is not so good after all. Speak only good things, the filtered and calculated things on social media. Social media is nothing but the civilization on screens. Social rules apply to online world. Speak the hive mind, walk with the herd, clap when they clap, boo when they order and believe that you are nothing more than the persona, the "good person".

Death of the fool

The evergreen fool. The believer of faith in goodness and light. Naive and gullible. He is the sparrow in his nest, singing a good melody, ignorant of the hungry predators hawking upon him. He is friends with the sun, the clouds, the tree and the leaves. Protected, inexperienced and untouched, the sparrow sings morning and evening. Clueless, impulsive and reckless. Childish, child like and the infantile. The fool is on a journey to sacred lands. Good intentions in heart, fueled by feelings, lacking life experiences and projecting his goodness on others, the fool is a tasty treat for dinner.

Do not mistake the fool for the poor fellow. His innocence is disgusting. He dwells in the unconscious and fears his own reality. Who even risks their life to make some new friends? The sparrow jumps off the nest, thinking it can fly, travel the skies and perhaps make some friends with the big gruesome creatures up there in the playground.

Acts before thinking, reckless, impulsive, rash, gullible. Fool is everything he should not be. Learn a thing or two about the world you are born in. Know a thing or two about the life force that ignites you. But the fool does not care. He is on an adventure, enthusiastic and intense. Excited to materialize his fantasies, the sparrow greets the horrific eagles. "They are just like me, see, they can fly and so do I, we are just the same!" Off the cliff, it happened. He is gone. Oh-he is gone. Where is he? Oh-find him, where is he? In the eagle's feast, singing a melody in his mind, the sparrow recalls his nest. Bring him back to the nest, the safety of his mind. One last melody, one more time.

The journey of fool never ends well. Maturity and self awareness are important to adulthood. Remember this, fellow fools.

Falling in love as a water dominant native

Inner planets (moon/sun/venus/mercury/mars) in a water house or water sign - love is different to you. You want to be with someone with whom you can be yourself and just yourself. Truly yourself. With all your feelings and vulnerabilities laid on the table, you are that safe and secure with your lover.

Water house or water sign placements make the native sensitive. Sensitive is to feel the feelings to their extreme. It is like holding a bubble in your palm, worried someone might pinch it, alert someone might blow it. You do not open yourself up to someone unless you trust their character.

Loyalty and honesty means a lot to you. You want someone as transparent as the water. You want to see through them. While other people look with their eyes, you look with your soul. Your eyes are turned inwards and constantly see the ups and downs of your emotions. Being sensitive and emotional, you are drawn to spirituality and choose your own path in life. You strive for a purpose in life. You want to know why you were born here on earth. You need a sense of mission and direction. You are a giver in love, the more you share your love, the more love there is in the world. You strive for higher principles, morals, meaning and values. You are the ones to turn the pages of philosophy books because the exterior life just does not suit your taste.

You fall in love with your soul. You meet someone and they are just the right person. Your intuition (water) tells you, this is it, you cannot reason why or how this person becomes the most prioritized person in your life. You are naturally obsessive. You are thinking of all the things you want to tell them, share with them, listen to them. Their mind, emotions and soul are your adventure place. You want to explore the depths of their mind. You want to merge your soul and identity with this person in your life.

Love is not just a word to you, it is life itself. Men with water dominant energy appear so ordinary from the outside, but oh-the right person will see the glaciers and ocean behind that mask. This ocean contains the secrets of the world. You want to self actualize with your lover. Someone who assists you in this journey. It is not just a material love to you, it is rather spiritual. You value their soul, their spirit, their essence. Love is a sacrifice to you, a noble cause, a martyr.

Perhaps, love is the language of water dominant natives. It is their religion and their philosophy. You will realize that this love trascends personality and unites with God, the eternal and the source. Nobody loves like a water dominant native, especially an evolved and mature one. They make life heaven, understand your emotional needs with their intuition, love you just the right way, be the best version of themselves, do everything to make your life better. Perhaps, nobody talks about water natives' love because very few experience it and those who experience the mature water love are too busy in self actualizing and transformation. They are too detached from self promotion and fakery.

What is seen cannot be unseen.

The first half of life is when you are unconscious, unaware and ignorant. When the gates of 8th house open, everything you knew about life is revealed to you. On emotional, mental, physical plane, secrets are revealed to you. Secret personalities, secret character, secret identity, lies and manipulation. Mental frameworks are broken, presuppositions are ruined, "everything I knew about the world and people was wrong".

What is seen cannot be unseen. You cannot be the same blindfolded native you were before. How careless, intense and emotional you were. Living on auto pilot. Before you know, your life shatters to pieces. Gifted with sharp intuition, you KNOW you have to transform. Memories of past come up to surface, emotionally overwhelmed and confused by "what just happened", you run towards the door but it seems the force is not in your control. What do I do? Where should i go? Help.. Help! Fear not, synchronicities will guide your way. Fateful detours guide your way. Inner reflection begins, childhood traumas are healed, you have the intuition to see through the mask of people. To the outside world, you appear to be lost and broken. But on the inside, you KNOW you are walking the path you were deatined to walk.

You are just not the same person anymore. You are a wounded healer. Relationships change. You are changed forever. You change your thought patterns, emotional reactions and identity. You begin to control the chaos that once controlled you. People say "you are different now, something has changed in you". You are threatening and fierce. You are resilient and reliable. New life begins, new people enter life, new chapter unfolds.

Deep down in your heart, you remember the person you were before. Longing to be that naive, infantile and careless person. You have seen the bad and the dark. You cannot unsee the bad and the dark. Life does not feel the same anymore.

Safety first: protection against manipulators.

Inner planets in 8th house/12th house/generational planets (Jupiter, Saturn in 8th house)

Sunday evening. You sit along with your friends and family for a nice relaxing hangout. Tea, snacks, gifts, laughter, full of energy. People sharing their stories and experiences. All well, few hours later, party over. You are still in the warmth of energy, joyed by the event, feeling good to be alive. Then.. something clicks. You are confused. This couple said things that dont sit right with you. What is it? You know in your head that this person was lying, the manipulation was so subtle that you only see it now, they were grooming the crowd to give them what they want. Welcome to the dark side of human psychology.

Intentional or unintentional, it does not matter, but you were manipulated and that is real. Some people go through life carefree and unbothered. Others know a little more. Every conversation we have with others is either an influence or a manipulation. Parent influences child. Teacher infleunces student. Spouse influences partner. Customer influences seller. Every person influences others, but when this influence is loaded with malicious, selfish and one sided exploitation, then you know you are being manipulated. When you give more than you get, are being misled and misinformed and being used as a social toy then you know you are being manipulated. Most disturbing manipulation happens from those who are closest to us, that is family, siblings and partner etc. When someone lies to you, they paint a picture in your head that does not exist. The lies distort your perception and affect your decisions, presuppositions about the world and opinions.

Why do some people never identify liars and manipulators? Because these people know what they want from others, are dominating Alpha type, extremely charming and love bombing, speak over others and assert their opinions on others. All of us have emotional needs and vulnerability, most necessary is the need for social acceptance and participation. We crave to belong to someone and some group. A lot of people never identify liars and manipulators because they are not so emotionally sensitive and enlightened. As unfortunate as it is, the world is after all not a bubble of well meaning and fair deal people.

Once you identify manipulative people, you also understand how futile it is to confront them. These people live in a different reality. They go to any lengths to manipulate people's perceptions because it benefits them. They are crazy making tricksters. Can you ever be "friends" with a trickster? No, in the end you lose more than you gain. Here is something you can learn from:

Here is quotes from the video: "The victims of people such as con men and snake oil salesmen, are those who are unconscious of trickster – they have been tricked by their own naivety, greed or self-deception. We have to be a little tricky, to guard against being tricked."

"We can deceive others or be deceived, but we can never deceive ourselves. Trickster forces us to look at ourselves in the mirror, and to the persona that we are putting on to impress others, to the detriment of our instinctual needs, our creativity and playfulness that is so vital to give us the energy that we need in our daily life."

Once you understand that the manipulators outside are a mirror to your internal trickster, it is time to change your beliefs about yourself and transform a little. This is why the 8th housers, scorpion, 12th housers are the ones to identify manipulation because their natural ability is to transform. Someone who has inner planets in 1st/2nd/3rd houses in air/fire signs simply would not have the ability to transform - but they can be a trickster if they are unevolved. Sadly, a lot of air/fire people stay unevolved because their natural ability is not to do self reflection. Water house/sign natives can learn from these natives, because it is said that the people who hurt you the most are your spiritual teachers.

“The so-called civilised man has forgotten the trickster. He remembers him only figuratively and metaphorically, when, irritated by his own ineptitude, he speaks of fate playing tricks on him or of things being bewitched. He never suspects that his own hidden and apparently harmless shadow has qualities whose dangerousness exceeds his wildest dreams.” - Carl Jung, C.W. Vol. 9.1: On The Psychology of the Trickster Figure.

In the so called transformation of 8th housers and scorpion lies the enlightenment and coming to the consciousness. It is to shed the ignorance of unconscious and primitive way of life. It is to dissolve your previously held ego and step into a new way of life. It is to get in touch with your spirits and the soul that is you. To change your habits and interests. One example, to stop listening to music and songs rather meditate, watch your impulse and emotions, create music rather than consume. This is a new way of life. One that will both change your interpersonal relations and your own inner life.

Self development series: trust your perception. No matter what.

For inner planets in 7th, 8th, 12th house, water signs placements, water risings.

Those of us who have not been on the good side of fate keep thinking what is wrong with us. The "other people" appear to be socializing, relaxed and living it out. But you stare from a distance, comparing your life to them, wondering why you are surrounded by malicious people and most importantly, how to change your pattern?

You must trust your perception. Cognitive Dissonance is when contradictory perceptions, beliefs, actions, feelings, ideas, values and things are told to you by somebody else. You are unable to trust your own perception. You are confused about your reality. For example, a man who cheats on his partner but says that he loves her still. Again cheats but says he is wired like that, men are men, he is polyamorous, it is his biological instinct, in past kings used to keep 100 wives. Of course, you are confused. Or someone who does something problematic but says "you are jealous of me, you are insecure, I dont care what you say, I am not wrong at all - you are wrong". This causes mental confusion to you. The other person is straight up lying, making it up, manipulating, but to you it is confusion.

People are not "oh so complicated" like that. People are actually easy to understand if you observe the patterns. The same patterns repeat all their lives. They can pretend to be somebody else for a day or two but the facade ultimately falls. Trust your judgment. We cannot guarantee to make the best decisions all the time but learning to trust your judgment will make you assertive, confident and secure in yourself.

It is especially for those who are trauma survivors, they are vulnerable and impressionable. Abusive people abuse then confuse. They might justify or rationalize their behaviour because religion/science/mythology/history says so, they will devalue you one minute then claim to love you the next minute - say it is for your benefit/it is your fault/they did not mean it. Do not be fooled by the words, trust the patterns.

We are humans, of course we will connect with language and words. Whatever language you speak, you connect with others. I am writing in English, you know English, you understand what I write, it aligns with your judgment so you trust what I say. I have to hold this trust by not lying, misleading, manipulating otherwise I will become an abuser.

It will help to read on sociopath v/s narcissist on internet. Do not underestimate the number of toxic people around you. Of course we cannot diagnose mental illness in others but we can identify their symptoms and draw our boundaries. Not all narcissists are sociopath, but all sociopaths are narcissists. Trust the patterns. Not all narcissists are alpha overt type, not all narcissists will financially exploit others. You decide where you draw the boundary. Especially if you are guilty of emotional investment and intense reactions before and want to change the scene in your life.

So, the next time you see someone flattering or love bombing you and you know their pattern beforehand, trust that they are not sincere this time as well.

Why do people become abusers? Destiny, perhaps. Do abusers know they are abusive? It depends. Some of them do not know they are emotionally abusive, some know but still do it. Patterns are hard to identify and change for the abuser. They are so intertwined in their reality that they dont even know what they are doing. You can see a narcissist doing their "dance" from a distance but he/she will not know it. It takes immense will power to change your patterns in your 20s, 30, 40s. Then it is even harder beyond that. What is a spiritual event that can change an abuser? Anything that forces them to enter intense emotional distress. Rock bottom, social outcast, divorce, ultimate failure in life etc. This is why you see some toxic people are genuinely transformed, they go to rehab or therapy or do inner work on their own. There is no genuine transformation without emotional turmoil. Those who feel deeply also transform.

For those who do not change? Forgive them. Distance yourself. Know that if they knew what they were doing, if they genuinely had the insight, they would be blown by shock and remorse. Leave them in their reality. There are plenty of decent people living their lives, looking for friends like you.

Self development series: learning to handle life.

For 8th housers, scorpio placements - stretch to cancer, pisces placements and risings.

*knocks* Hello, astro world, it's me.. look at my birth chart please and tell me what's wrong with me? Why is my life a mess..? Why do I attract such narcissistic, controlling, manipulative people in my life? Why do i feel like I dont exist and am constantly transforming..? I have a weird relationship with my family.. I have so much trauma... I just want answers...

Just a regular day in the life of natives with vulnerable placements. Until they heal their trauma (which can take years), they would not know how to handle their life. How to not fuck up their relationships, mood, reactions, career, body, mind. The hidden gift of these natives is to be in touch with their insticts and emotional life. They do not just exist but are in tune with their emotional states. When unevolved, they act on their impulses, feelings, imagination, thoughts mindlessly.

When evolved, they have a conscious control over their impulses, feelings, imagination and fantasies. This is a gradual process, not overnight, and one filled with many trials, challenges and fallings. Contrary to the stereotypes, these natives are not doomed to be crybabies/crazy all their lives. They certainly can handle their life, depending upon the whole chart, timing of planets and the luck.

The trick is to know when to be rational and when to let loose. The trick is to change your lifestyle in such a way as accommodates things you can control. For eg, do not buy tubs of ice cream if you know you binge eat in maniac state. The trick is to live in the flow, be in the flow of life, mindfulness comes naturally to you when you are not giving in to every self destructive impulse. The trick is to set values for yourself. For eg, do not do casual hookup if you know you will get attached and obsessive. The trick is to hold yourself to higher standards of behaviour. The trick is to find fellow similar/compatible placement natives who will make your life a little easier. The trick is to become aware of your own inner narcissist and stop feeding him/her what they crave, instead choose the opposite action.

There is a thin line between chaos and order, that these natives know very well of. Sometimes they feel like they do not belong to this world, they are misfits, as if they want to go back to home. As if they daily life is very harsh and tiresome to them. Beware not to fall into the grips of substance abuse and/or criminal gangs. At the end of the day, you are responsible for your life. You have to live anyway, so why not make it worthwhile?

"Everything of which I know, but of which I am not at the moment thinking; everything of which I was once conscious but have now forgotten; every thing perceived by my senses, but not noted by my conscious mind; and everything which, involuntarily and without paying attention to it, I feel, think, remember, want, and do; all the future things that are taking shape in me and will sometime come to consciousness: all this is the content of the unconscious." - On the Nature of the Psyche, The Structure and Dynamics of the Psyche, CW 8, par. 382.

Self development series: It is almost impossible to know how others perceive you.

For a trauma survivor, social circle can be a tough nut to crack. Whether they are in classroom or with family or on a date or on social media, they are always worrying what others think about them. They would not consciously know but their behaviour shows they are trying to impress others/mould their opinion/desperate for likes dislikes views. What happened in offline world before is now visible on social media clearly. When their self esteem is terribly low, no achievement or external validation is ever enough. They are always unsure of themselves. Even for a non trauma survivor, people's perception is impossible to find out. Some might think that this post and blog are thoughtful or deep, while others might think that I am a complete dumbass and a noise. Even my choice of words, language, tone of writing and your own life stage, experience, perception will affect your judgment - it is that multidimensional how mind works.

While it is important to trust your own perception about the world, it is, at the same time, very hard, or even impossible, to know how others perceive you. You might think in your mind that others look down upon you/think you are boring/think you are ugly/think you are lazy, but do you actually know what they really think of you? A tyrannical parent is someone who controls their children, tells them lies about the world, tells them lies about themselves. "You are not that good", "You could have done better, there is nothing to celebrate", "Yeah, I see you got that degree, you must be too proud now". The parent does not even know they are downright invalidating their child, they just think that they are normal. A low self esteem girl is hungry for male approval. She will put down other women, compete with other women, but live in complete denial of her deep seated insecurity.

I have read through many resources but could not find one legitimate answer for "how to know others' perception of me?" The only answer was "ask them". Well, how would you ask others what they think about you? They might lie. And how many people in the world will you approach? You are barely around 100 people in daily life. You are only left with assumptions about YOURSELF.

Different people have different priority. Scorpios want deep intimate partner so they might think fwb situation is risky and stupid. Gemini want fast intellectual stimulation so they might think that quiet people are boring and uninteresting. Aries are leaderly and dominating so they might think that spiritual ones are lazy and unambitious. How many people will you "prove" yourself to? If your self esteem is low enough, you might as well overcompensate for it by really getting out of your way to flaunt, show off, sneakily post that shiny car in your story.

When we act out of low self esteem, we think that we have actually done something - while we may have just made a fool of ourselves in reality. For example, when I was in school and was the queen of gutter-land-self-esteem, I would be class clown, sarcastic, quick, witty (I am gemini moon). I made others laugh and that gave me massive validation... for 2 minutes. Then I would again wait for the next opportunity to tell jokes and feed on laughter for validation. So on, everyday. Validation seeking at school took so much of my energy that when I came back home I would be exhausted, tired and had mood swings.

If scientists invent a mirror in future that somehow answers "tell me, mirror on the wall, what does xyz think of me?" I think this gadget will break the market. Until then, we just have to live with self development and inner work. Recent example is Andrew Tate. All of us who are self aware would know how insecure this man was. His self improvement talks were just not enough when his complete philosophy was so self destructive. He might appear rich, give confident facial expressions, do podcast by citing biological instincts of men, but we can see how hard he was trying to manipulate other people's opinions about him. This is a case of unevolved person, someone who is unaware and in complete denial.

I can see insecurities in Andrew Tate because I have been there, done that. Same for any other celebrity who appear wise on social front - but are terribly insecure on personal front, when they are alone by themselves.

This underatanding will set you free and give you more time and energy to focus on your inner life. You might as well break the intergenerational cycle. Knowing the limitations of your brain will set you free. I believe that active imagination might help one to see how their character appears to others. You are, after all, collective unconscious, but that would require years of inner work.

Surviving Rock Bottom

🌼 For inner planets in 8th house natives; after crisis - before transformation = the stage of neuroses.

🌼 Before every transformation for 8th house natives, they are trapped by neuroses; they shed their skin after neuroses to reborn - this is almost constant in their life, but also happens at least one major rock bottom stage that they must learn to handle. Whatever may be the trigger, these natives face intense emotional crisis. Their life begins to get out of control - heart break, job loss, divorce etc. They fall into a downward spiral of ruminations, before they are consciously aware of it, they spend hours everyday thinking about the past with painful emotional outbursts. Ruminations are repetitive thoughts revisiting the same events from past. As we all know that 8th house placements are hallmark of intergenerational trauma, this crisis is the call for healing. This stage of life is called neuroses; it was also called hysteria in old days.

🌼 Carl Jung has said "in all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order, in all caprice a fixed law for everything that works is grounded on its opposite". The natives are yet to know the reason behind their suffering. Unfortunately, if they are lonely, it can take years for them in rock bottom, spending each passing day in the insanity. It is not so simple to get out of this obsessive rumination for the natives - otherwise they would do it already. They cannot just "choose to not think these thoughts" - this is what makes the rumination so powerful, this is what feels like fate, a doom, a curse.

🌼 The reason why these natives fall into this spiral is the heightened negative feelings. As we know that the 8th house signifies the territory everything that is hidden and unknown. This uncertainty of who they are (lack of sense of self) and where they are going (life path) compels them to seek certainty in life. 8th house placements are unfortunately not gifted with a "sense of self", they feel like invisible energy, like a jellyfish they feel transparent and attach themselves to people, things, interests, addictions and make it their whole personality. When in relationship, they mirror and depend on their "favourite person" for the validation of their existence. This relationship must break at some point in their life because they are also prone to invest themselves in wrong type of people, ignoring red flags and being irrational rather than logical about life choices.

🌼 Apart from astrological view, in the words of science, they are genetically predisposed to such neuroses states. In addition to this, their parents also create disturbing environmental influences for them to develop chronic emotional illnesses. These disorders are inherited - what we call "ancestral karma". 

🌼 When the child never learned emotional regulation from their parents and also genetically prone to neuroses, they recall the negative material, negative "autobiographical memories" of the past and negative emotional state all the time.  Gradually they fall into depressive states, ruminating about the events of childhood and fixating on negative emotions. If you are an 8th house native, you know exactly what it feels like - no words can describe what is only experienced by the fallen hero.

🌼 Some symptoms of this spiritual crisis are 1. Obsessive rumination 2. Compulsive behaviours as a routine 3. Depression 4. Apathy towards life (Nihilism and hopelessness) 5. Negative intrusive thoughts 5. Phobias 6. Perpetual anxiety state.

🌼 Lots of natives go to therapy and hospital in emergency to protect against suicidal ideation, self harm and self destructive addictions. Indeed in such cases, pills and medicines are necessary to rescue the natives from their crisis. However, Carl Jung writes that this crisis is the harbinger of soul transformation. He writes that anxiety is the attempt by psyche to self cure the trauma. He writes to 1. Experience the trauma rather than numb the symptoms with pills; 2. Identify the meaning of neuroses; 3. Understand what the neuroses is trying to tell/teach you; 4. Identify the purpose of neuroses in your life; 5. To go from infantile attitude to psychological development. 

🌼 Unfortunately, I have seen natives with these placements never being able to cure their neuroses and instead fall into lifelong alcohol addiction problems that spoiled their family life and caused many miseries like road accident and early death. This shows how powerful and strong the anxiety is. If they belong to below middle class sections in society, they can even end up homeless and helpless (though 8th house is also connected with other people's money  so they could be supported by spouse income or parental income).

🌼 There are some reasons why natives fail to get out of neuroses or delay it: 1. Laziness; 2. Lack the courage to face the challenge of life; 3. Lack of awareness or support system; 4. Fear of change. Though this is not a definite list. Never underestimate the power of neuroses; 8th house transformation doesn't always mean "something beautiful is born out of the mess". A lot of natives simply "transform for the worse" - they do not improve, they do not actualize, they just remain there in self destructive cycles. It is that scary. It is survivorship bias to assume that all 8th house planets will become spiritual and awakened - a lot of them do not and we never hear their story. So, if you are one of those who find themselves near self awakening, please grab the opportunity and get your life on track.

🌼 Therefore, it is crucial to understand that this neuroses is the urge to develop your own personality. It is a call to change your attitude towards life, to change your way of life, to not conform to the herd mentality, to focus your energy on living in the world rather than in your head, to attain psychological independence from your parents, to contribute to community as a responsible worker, to find a purpose in life. It is the call to do self actualization and attain self knowledge, although it is dressed like a nightmare with a hidden gift.

🌼 Do not waste anymore of your energy on internal conflicts, reliving the past memories and processing the trauma that happened to you. There is only one choice in life - to move forward or to regress to the immature and infantile mode again. Your are intuitive, you KNOW the answers in your heart. I always read about the "transformations" of 8th house natives but never really found an answer for what exactly transformation means? Is it magic?  Or is it some legitimate process? I finally found the answer.

This video describes the concept:

Here is quotes from the video:

“What direction the patient’s life should take in the future is not ours to judge. We must not imagine that we know better than his own nature, or we would prove ourselves educators of the worst kind…It is better to renounce any attempt to give direction, and simply to try to throw into relief everything that the analysis brings to light, so that the patient can see it clearly and be able to draw suitable conclusions. Anything he has not acquired himself he will not believe in the long run, and what he takes over from authority merely keeps him infantile. He should rather be put in the position to take his own life in hand.” - Carl Jung, Some Crucial Points in Psychoanalysis

“Only boldness can deliver from fear. And if the risk is not taken, the meaning of life is somehow violated, and the whole future is condemned to hopeless staleness.” - Carl Jung, Symbols of Transformation

This transformation can take years and this is the rebirth of the Phoenix. Rising from the ashes into a new life. Starting from scratch. Shedding old skin. Burning bridges. Reborn. So many names.

The girl of her dreams.

🌼 For sun in 1st/7th/8th/12th; venus in 8th/12th; venus in scorpio, sun in pisces, sun in libra (my astro observation).

🌼 Naturally, we assume that it is men who dream of their dream girl, who they like and who they want to be with. It is strange to think that girls too dream of girls - albeit not the girl they want to date but the girl they want to "be". Have you ever sat in a social setting, checking out the faces of everyone and laughing loud/do something quirky to get a reaction out of people? In your mental world, they adore you, praise you, are captivated, bewitched and admire you. Aren't you just so perfect?

🌼 Sit with yourself for an hour and see through your fantasies. The random images, memories, movie scene, music lyrics, conversation - what is it that pops up in your mind? I did this and saw a fantasy of Barack Obama dancing to Cheap Thrills. Well, I know the meaning behind the symbolism because I know myself. This is a symbol of a powerful, important, competent man dancing to a quirky, playful and youthful song - it is the merger of the two fantasies I have, on one hand desiring to be grandiose and on the other hand craving to be carefree and silly.

🌼 I am talking of the PUELLA AETERNUS. The spontaneous, autonomous, dissociative and fanatical archetype of a young girl who is outwardly a mess but inwardly a princess. The eternal child. The eternal youth. Unrealistic adolscent fantasies. Often manifested in motion pictures like movies and TV - so it creates a social pressure to conform to the idea of a woman who is very desirable to the masses. On a personal level, the girl herself lives in the fantasy world of how life is supposed to be, how people should comfort her, react to her and care for her. The paradise of childhood. The birdy in the nest. Flees from the cold cruel world and its realities. Daydreams and reacts to passive fantasies. Fatasies of future, what would be, could be, should be, without taking any actions. She has an imaginary attitude towards life, escaping to temporary comfort and running as far as possible from the reality.

🌼 Her problem is that she is missing a sense of identity, she feels fragmented and worthless. It is too much for her to cross the borders from fantasy to real world. In the modern world, she is expected to get education and do job, but all she wants to do is to be on social media all day. If you know someone like this, she is a puella - a little girl in an adult body with a father complex. Her playful and carefree facade hides deep insecurities. She idealizes the other people and craves their admiration. When the sun is weak in birth chart, it shows a father who was emotionally unavailable, distant and not there - resulting in low self esteem, stunted psychological growth and childish fantasies in the girl. A lot of women are like that, a lot of fathers were not available and active in their daughter's life, a lot of women stay puella even after marriage and children through their 40s 50s 60s. The forever 21.

🌼 If you can see yourself in this archetype, I have a bad news and a good news. A bad news is that you have essentially drifted your whole life in a fantasy. A good news is you can quit today. There is no "closure" or "the end" to your past story. The day you decide to quit is the day you commit to it. That ultimately is the only solution for this trouble. Work. Any work. Chores. Responsibilities. Immerse yourself in something. Study paint write work exercise. Just work. Test yourself. Challenge yourself. Every time your mind drifts to a fantasy, bring it back to reality. Remember that the social media even tumblr is a world of make believe. How many of us are puella but in denial? Throw yourself into the fire of life and let it rebirth you. Break down the ideal imagery in your mind and accept your humanness.

🌼 The shadow of this archetype is the Crone wise "old" woman. She is balanced, disciplined, hard working, realistic, conscientious, controlled and mature. Committed to work and immersed in whatever is her calling in life. She has sacrificed the wonder of fantasy realm. She immerses herself in the external world to find her individuality and to learn skills for life. There is no magical way. Just the practice, learning, practice, learning, practice. You can cultivate these qualities in yourself. Think it is too easy? Why not try. Habits are hard to break, sometimes very hard. Sylvia Plath was one puella who desired reconstruction of her life but took her own life when the conflicts were too much to bear.

🌼 I am reminded of the tarot card two of wands in this context

The globe in his hand is the projection of the inner fantasy world while he gazes out over the bay at the real world, the realities of life, the potential in him, the challenges he must face, the risks he must take. He has to choose a decision, to leave comfort zone, and compare the two worlds side by side. On one hand is the inner fantasy world that he holds in his palm that he escapes to for temporary comfort while on the other hand is the external reality, hardships and worldly successes. You cannot live in your inner world forever. Commit today and henceforth the fantasy world is meaningless to you. I read this somewhere: *"Sometimes people have to injure themselves very badly in order to awaken to what life really is"* - that is sometimes the only solution to life problems. The anxiety and fear never end, you just work through it and claim your life in your hands.

🌼 "If you want to go your individual way, it is the way you make for yourself, which is never prescribed, which you do not know in advance, and which simply comes into being of itself when you put one foot in front of the other. If you always do the next thing that needs to be done, you will go most safely and sure-footedly along the path prescribed by your unconscious. Then it is naturally no help at all to speculate about how you ought to live. And then you know, too, that you cannot know it, but quietly do the next and most necessary thing. So long as you think you don’t yet know what this is, you still have too much money to spend in useless speculation. But if you do with conviction the next and most necessary thing, you are always doing something meaningful and intended by fate." - Carl Jung.

Who takes decision in your life?

🌸 for anyone who resonates

I was met with one question "Who is in control of your life?" People replied "Me"; i thought to myself what was my answer? I never felt like i chose my choices. Sometimes they were wishful thinking that happened to come true. But most of the daydreams did not come true. Hint: No I didnt fall in passionate thrilling romance with a bad boy who only has soft place for me. Not to say that fantasies are useless. Fantasies are psychic processes that tell you a lot about yourself. They are not waste of time either. Fantasies tell you have a creative bone that is urging to express outside. Most of the times fantasies are when we are really bored stressed unsatisfied lonely insecure in life. Fantasies can be a way to quickly satiate unfulfilled desires.

But somewhere fantasies create unrealistic expectations that are almost impossible for the life we currently actually have. And that is a pretty shitty way to live. To be always living in glamour of fantasies, anticipating it and hightened expectations. Not to forget that for every 1 successful person there are 100s of those who do not succeed. "Just try harder", "Good luck next time", "You probably didnt work the right strategy" but the real answer is "I dont know why you did not succeed". I personally dont believe in law of attraction because it did not work for me. So I instead chose to go with the flow of the tao and let fate bring whatever result it wants.

Jeff Bezos once said "When a company comes up with an idea, it's a messy process--There's no 'aha' moment." What it means is that rather than panicking for the final result, try to solve the mess that the process is. As an 8th houser, my life + my parents' life (both 8th housers) have been very unpredictable; just when we thought things were stable something would create ripples and disturb the calm waters. From one extreme to the other, we were all affected by each other's fate and ups downs. Being a child, I would get neurotic thinking "why is my life not carefree like others", "why cant i be stable for one day", "does everyone have such rollercoaster life"? Then I would think "perhaps if we get through this life would calm down", "perhaps this is the last challenge", "just this time then i will enjoy life". Little did I know that 8th house is highly karmic and fated. Same for Saturn/Saturn in 8th house/Pluto placements. When life feels fated, you have no choice but to surrender to the forces. Because the more you consciously push the more life resists your movement. Problems of 8th house are not going to mild, we just learned to be calm in emergency, control our panic, calmly take logical decision and manage our life as much as possible. The lesson for these people was "to choose their emotional reaction".

"However simple an impulse appears to be, every nuance of its particular character, its strength and direction, its course, its timing, its aim, all depend on special psychic conditions, in other words on an attitude. And the attitude consists of a constellation of contents so numerous that they cannot be counted" - Carl Jung. My current life attitude is somewhere between cynicism, hopeful pessimism, taoism and stoicism. A mix of all these work for me. What it means is that instead of obsessing over things not under my conscious control (like result of an exam, behaviour of other people, fate of a relationship), I only focus on things under my control that is effort, reason and mind.

It is not passivity or defeatism. It is a life lesson for people who have faced many misfortunes to be prepared for the future and to make peace with the past.

Many people in one body.

🌸When you dont feel like you know who you are, it can be the loneliest feeling in your own body. AIR signs sun/moon/mercury/venus have this tendency to become a different person with different people. It does not have to be with an ulterior motive. It is just thst they are predisposed to adapt to the social cues.

🌸Water sign in 5th house can give a dreamlike and dissociative personality. You escape into a world of make believe. Sometimes it might feel like a compulsion. Without it, the life feels utterly dull and tiring.

🌸Incompatible placements in one chart aka air-water or earth-air combination is like universe's way of making your life harder than it needs to be. You spend your energy fighting with yourself and creating a stable self.

🌸Do you ever look back and wonder "who the hell was that person?" You recall having friends but you dont remember who you were, what value you offered them in friendship, why they chose you in their friend circle. That is just you shedding skin as an 8th house native. 8th house can make you twice born. You were born once from your mom's womb. You were born again when you built yourself up from ground up. Literal self development.

🌸7th house sun/moon/mercury is not really a social charmer placement, that would be 11th house. 7th house is one on one connections, especially romantic. It can make native be like relationship is the sole purpose of thier life. You were born to marry and work on your relationship. It can make you so dependent that you cannot even function when you are single. You need that other half to be there. It just feels like a team strength.

🌸People who think they are sure of themselves are the ones who are the most unsure. People in TV/video/pictures/screen appear to be flawless and confident. But the screen just eliminates their anxiety and rawness. Learn human skills from the people around you not the ones on TV or cinema. They exaggerate their expressions, rehearse their dialogue and everything is edited and filtered. Real life has flaws, spontaneity, anxiety, raw intimacy and to be able to think on your feet.

🌸In Persona by Ingmar Bergman, Alma is the talkative, expressive and soulful self while Elisabet has chosen to remain silent, running from her past and a cold person. "Her problems is that her notions dont match her life experiences". People are not one person all the time, at every moment of their life. People change. Personality changes. Personality happens to people. We do things we never imagined ourselves capable of doing. It is scary to think you can be an unpredictable beast and surprise yourself by what you end up doing. It is like you cannot even trust yourself. Two women battling their guilty conscience. Emotions they did not choose to feel. Stuck in existantial question of who they are and why they suffer. Are the two the same person? I am a different person in my head, i look different, act different, everything is much easier in the head and the two lives coexist together. I think that the person in my head is not really me, it is some other girl I am fascinated with at the moment. So in my head, I am who I think I will be if I was like that other girl, makes sense? Something in her hooks my lackings, whether it is her extraversion or ability to befriend people or social confidence or looks or a hobby that is not mine. I live through the girl in my head another life, with another life theme, another life story, another persona. When you are like that, how can you be one person in one body?

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Tendency of Sun in 7th house to self sabotage?

Having sun in 7th house, I have dealt with a strange phenomenon all my life. It is as if I absorb the projections of other people directed at me and consider it to be my reality. So, if someone calls me "stupid and dumb", I accept it as my reality rather than seeing that it says more about the accuser than myself.

This tendency led me to be a people pleaser and have low self confidence because I also have 8th house placements, so I encountered traumatizing and toxic behaviour from people in my surroundings. They would project things directly or indirectly and I would absorb it as truth. As if my existence depended upon the opinion of other people.

As if being seen by others would keep me alive, otherwise I am a nobody and invisible. I dont know who I am so I needed others to tell me who I was. What they said about me was the gospel of truth, especially if they were close family. Opinions of others are their projection, whether good or bad all opinions are projections. People perceive other people by constant projection. It is impossible to withdraw all projections because then living in the world is not possible.

I remember being a child and thinking to myself "I wish I was married as a kid, so I would have a husband to think for me, take my decisions, tell me what to do because I am just so lost". At that time I did not know that it was my sun in 7th house effect that was sabotaging my self confidence and self image.

I would also mirror others, especially my mother who is sun in 1st house. Her being 1st house sun and me being 7th house sun, I was her copy, her mirror, enmeshed with her, identified with her, as if her story was mine, her reality was mine. All daughters are copies of their mothers, but I went a little too far and absorbed her identity.

There is also the tendency to idealize others, especially men, but also women. Seeing the idealized version of people in imagination and feeling flawed, inferior, lacking in comparison to them. I believe this can be understood with the concept of the 'inner gold' that the native projects upon other people as container of all the ideal and good qualities instead of accepting them in oneself because the native's ego is too weak to hold them. For example, the natural confidence is too shaky "no, I cannot do that, it's too difficult for me, I am not smart enough".

There is also a tendency to read other people's insecurities. It is as if I can watch someone's behaviour and read between their words and tell "aha! I caught you. This is your insecurity." and since I see it in others, I also see it in myself like a mirror "ohhh, so, I also do this behaviour in my life, this is my insecurity too". It makes me "socially intelligent" but not so confident because you need to have a force of personality to perform in physical world. If you spend half your time reading others' behaviour and words, when will you begin to live? And you will dread to socialize because you are always flinching and cringing at people's insecurities.

Lastly, there is also the tendency to have a weak ego which gets inflated when perceived to be disrespected. Disrespect is taken seriously, even indirect disrespect is disrespect. I believe this is because sun sets in the 7th house and loses its natural heat there, so the ego compensates for this feeling of inferiority by demanding a lot of respect from other people because it cannot respect itself since it feels invisible and hidden in this house. Barack Obama has sun in 7th house and he is the public figure well known for having a clean record in terms of cheating or extramarital affairs. And we know the stereotype of "sun in 7th house power couple" because of how much importance native gives to marriage and not take it for granted.

About venus in 8th house & attracting envy or jealousy.

"When an inner situation is not made conscious, it appears outside as fate."

About envy/jealousy: Envy is an emotion which occurs when a person lacks another's quality, skill, achievement, or possession and either desires it or wishes that the other lacked it. Whereas, Jealousy generally refers to the thoughts or feelings of insecurity, fear, and concern over a relative lack of possessions or safety. There is a difference between these two mental states and the venus in 8th house can attract both or either of these situation with people.

Why Venus in 8th house: It probably has to do with the energy of the native. They have the reputation of attracting envy from people, especially women, while it can be attributed to their (a) penetrating energy such that being near them make you feel like you are naked and all your secret thoughts and desires are exposed to these native; but it can also be attributed to the (b) feelings of envy in the native themselves. Venus in 8th house native not only attracts envious people, but also envies other people. They might envy others based on their good fortune, looks, achievements and emotional states. Yes, emotional states, as in others being happy/carefree can trigger envy in the native, especially because the venus in 8th house is a very difficult placement both (a) emotionally and (b) fate/destiny wise.

What is emotional pattern: Emotional pattern of thinking is how you think and feel all the time. This appears to be a negligible thing because we work on autopilot but the way we behave is driven by our thoughts and feelings, however unconscious they may be. Once you are self aware that you feel envious of others, try to go micro and see the exact thought pattern how this emotion generated. You have to go to the atomic level of your thoughts and see the thought that creates the daily loop and once identify it, you have to break it and replace it with another thought pattern. Do not keep repeating the same thoughts and torture yourself endlessly. Yes, I know you have it hard in life but when we cannot change the external circumstances, we are called to change the internal reaction to those circumstances that we call fate. If we do not awaken to the ignored and shadow side of our personal unconscious, it will keep manifesting in external reality by attracting toxic people and events until you finally awaken.

Hope it makes sense.

Dangers of the Abyss

Intro = Does this image stir something in you? Some emotion, thought, memory? Perhaps fear. What we cannot express in words, we express in symbols and images. Images are not mere pixels but they are emotionally charged and they exist in our minds too. After all, our eyes are like cameras, mind is like camera film, memory is like storage space. The unconscious world can be accessed via your mental images, fantasies, visions, dreams, thoughts, emotions, memory. Some of the tools we use to explore the unconscious are writing, art, active imagination, tarot cards and alchemy. Some of the ways we know unconscious exists is synchronicities, projection and spiritual awakenings.

World of the unconscious = Few things are as tempting as exploring the 4th, 8th and 12th houses in astrology. Especially when you find yourself at the outskirts of healing, you are sucked into these areas of life and may lose touch with the material world. When the native is so engrossed in spiritual work or shadow work that they are obsessed with it and do it compulsively everyday, that is when you know that they have crossed the limits of what is healthy for them. Astrology, spirituality, occult, esoteric and mysticism (for eastern audience), new age tools (for western audience) can be very tempting in times of turbulence. This is why when life is out of control (eg, divorce or break up, disease or accident, money or career problems) we run to astrologers/psychics/healers, even if we were atheist or anti-theist otherwise. What is unseen, intangible and unknown resides in the unconscious and these 3 houses in astrology are the mining holes for the unconscious. They represent the collective unconscious, personal unconscious (or the subconcious mind) and bringing them to the light of the day is called awareness/enlightenment.

3. Curious case of Friedrich Nietzsche = Though history does not report why Nietzsche went insane, many report (including Carl Jung) that Nietzsche went so far into self exploration that he could not come back to the material life. That he went so deep into the unconscious that he could not pull himself out of it and completely submerged with the unconscious. Do you see how dangerous it is to do shadow work? Though whether Nietzsche could be reborn or not is not something we can decide, for it was his life path and his destiny. Though he lost himself in the darkness, at least he wrote some great books, at least he excavated some pearls from the ocean for the rest of us. It is to be noted that Nietzsche had ketu/south node in the 7th house which can signify his unsuccessful love life, solitude/loneliness and also had sun in the 12th house.

"...Nietzsche would be just about as grateful to his rescuers as somebody who has jumped into the water to drown himself and has been pulled out by some fool of a coastguard. I have seen Nietzsche in states in which he seemed – horrible to say – as though he were only pretending to be mad, as though he were glad to have ended this way!” Peter Gast, The Madness of Nietzsche by Erich Podach

4. We the regulars = But we the regular, the common, the laymen people who cannot afford to be lost in the unconscious world, who have school/college/job, family/relations/marriage, money/food/shelter to take care - we need a foundation to navigate the material life alongside the spiritual life. Unless you are an ascetic sitting in a cave, browsing tumblr in your lunch break before the 10 hour meditation session, we know that you have a full life with many dimensions to take care of. And it is for those of us to learn to balance the material and spiritual life

5. Doing it alone = Whether a therapist or a family member or a friend or a loved one, anyone who can keep you grounded in the real world, bring you back to the daily life, keep you rational when you are losing touch with reality and guide you when you are losing track can be helpful. Though shadow work is a solitary process, we still need somebody else to give us objective judgment, tell whether we are biased in our judgment and guide us with their own wisdom and experience. This is why 4th/8th houses also deal with generations, ancestors, inheritance, history because it is only by standing upon the shoulder of the giants that you can make progress in your life. We may think we know it all intuitively/alone, but the more we learn the more we discover how little we know. "Learn from the mistakes of others, you can't live long enough to make them all yourself." - Chanakya, Indian polymath

6. Psychic content is reality = I am very fond of this interview of Carl Jung. What Jung meant to say here is that the events of psyche are as real as the material life. For instance, if you celebrate your birthday on a certain date with your friends, you call it reality. But if you think about celebrating your birthday with your friends, you call it daydream and not reality. This is where Jung says that even the world in your mind is as real and valid as the world outside. So whether you celebrate your birthday in physical world or mental world, both are equally valid and real. So, when the mental world is as encompassing, satisfying and real as the physical world, it is very easy and tempting to spend your whole life in the mind. In the modern world, the addiction to social media, internet, video games and T.V. is similar to living in your mind (unless you are using technology to do your job and make money).

7. Being clueless and inexperienced = The baby witches often ask minute questions on spells, tools and energy. Do you work in coven or are you a solitary witch? Are you a family astrologer or the first in your family? Do you visit a psychologist or do your own therapy in your journal? If the answer to all these questions is the latter of the two, then you may have begun from a place where you were clueless, inexperienced and confused. Perhaps you learned from trial and error, perhaps you did hours of research, perhaps you felt like you were not meant for it, but what we do know is that being clueless and inexperienced in the world of the unconscious can have serious drawbacks and dangers. The most dangerous is the mental and emotional impact of practices that do not make your life better rather pull you in a rut.

8. Solutions = Solutions are very simple, so simple that we may dismiss it, but learning to keep a balance between material life (school/college/self care/job/ family/responsibilities) and the spiritual life (shadow work/alchemy/exploring the unconscious/self actualization) is crucial. Next solution is to be able to identify the psychic contents with mindfulness and living in the present moment - this comes with practice, perhaps months or years of practice before one can calm down the restlessness to stay mindful. Next solution is to really understand your mental process. Mind is a beautiful thing, do not deal with it lightly. Just like you would arrange, clean, organize, beautify your physical space, you also have to arrange, organize and keep your mental space neat and clean. Next solution is to what I mentioned earlier in a post to keep marking mistakes and correct decisions for yourself, to use reasoning, logic, common sense, decision making, routine (rather than be emotional thinker, magical thinker, impulsive and reckless). In short, think BEFORE you act and not the vice versa. The exploration of the unconscious is systematic and organized, it is not careless and impulsive.

9. Conclusion = So, if you are a first generation astrologer or witch or healer or trauma cycle breaker, be very vigilant of your limits and structure. I have written about psychosis before which can induce when the native is not mentally prepared for the psychological adventure of healing and actualization. Psychoanalysis, spiritual practices and occult practices are parallels to each other and if you feel like you are called into any of these interests, please make sure you have your physical life in order, lest you want to reach rock bottom again and again. I am speaking from experience that being first time clueless healer, psychoanalysis made my life even more complicated instead of magically improving it. I thought I had hit rock bottom in physical life but I did not know yet that even rock bottom has a basement that I hit with clueless psychoanalysis and spiritual practices. It was like this diagram for me:

It felt like I was making great progress with shadow work and psychoanalysis, it felt like I hit the jackpot and all my problems would be explained/solved but it took me a lot of time to realize that it takes immense responsibility to tackle the world of the unconscious and it is not mere for fun and games, rather it can really disturb your life and make you dysfunctional in the material world.

About a water lover

Water men (sun in scorpio/sun in pisces/sun in cancer//sun in 4th/8th/12th house)

1. As authentic as it can get, they tell emotional truth, they tell what they feel, they tell what they think, exactly as it is, no artificial colours, as real as it can get. Often they are not interested in the material ends like money, power, status, but they are interested in the process and the work, since they are very self aware they like to observe themselves how they evolve and grow with effort and work. They need to put the effort to push their boundaries and really grow themselves, realize their potential. This is why, they focus on the process not the goal and once they reach the goal, they pick another goal and dedicate themselves to it.

2. Introverted nature, dont like crowded places, they question everything because they are not concerned with conformity. They will not pretend to be someone just to impress others, you dont like it? Please move on.

3. Want emotional security as much as possible. In relationship, material life, friendships, they want and give emotional security. It is about reciprocation, no hypocrisy. They are very concerned about their ethics and values. They cannot do or say anything that makes them feel ashamed of themselves or lose their self respect. There is core fear of abandonment which is balanced with relationships and friendships where they give a lot of emotional security because it also makes them feel emotionally secure in return.

4. They hide their undesirable emotions like anger, shame, insecurity and actively work on them. On the exterior they will appear cool like ice cube but when probed they show their anger which can be very dangerous and intense, so this appearance on outside can be illusory.

5. Prone to low confidence issue. Especially when sun is in water sign or house, it does not shine bright like in air or fire or earth. In water, sun is submerged and cold. Like a lava ball in Pacific, sun in water sign feels limitation in shining brightly in material world. To the contrary, this sun shines brightly in the spiritual world which makes them very self aware, emotionally intelligent and spiritually awakened. When sun is in the water sign or house, it illuminates what is underwater, spiritual, emotional; it illuminates the depths as opposed to the heights of the sky. It is very literal association but easy to understand this way if you look at this diagram:

6. They are all about depths and not the heights. But depths and heights are not too far away, as above so below-you know? The deeper you go, the higher you reach. It is about that enlightenment and awakening that society in general does not talk about and appears like a very niche group. For example, if other people are religious for community purpose, solidarity, practice etc then the native is religious because of its core philosophy, idealism, beliefs.

7. Aware of their mortality and not afraid of death. They want to live a life that they are prepared for death when it comes and are not ashamed of anything they did. This is another reason for their authenticity. They also prioritize mental peace over noise/music/sound because they are already acquainted with the chaos in their mind, they dont need any more of that.

8. Of course with the task of spiritual development, they need money, lifestyle and services too, they do not neglect the material life unless they are ascetic in which case Ketu the signification of detachment and separation comes into play.

9. Finally, there is not enough time in life to do self actualization. It is an endless journey, perhaps there is no end, perhaps death is not the end either. Water men know this and so they make the most of their time in life and strive to do as much self expression as possible.

Water men (moon in cancer/scorpio/pisces//moon in 4th/8th/12th houses)

1. Either very talkative or very reserved. When they talk, they appear like such extroverts but then can appear like introverts when they retreat to their solitude.

2. They think and feel or feel and think because both functions are interconnected. But it is not think or feel for them. Emotions are as important to them as reasoning.

3. What do women want in relationships? Emotional security; and who can give that? Water men. Emotional security is also guarantee for loyalty because they won't have sex with someone they are not emotionally connected with and interested in. Sex is not about adventure or power or confidence boost or ego stroke to them, sex is rather about surrender, transformation and dissolution to them. They want to dissolve in the arms of their lover, they want to merge and lose control. They want to exter that state between death and rebirth, where they are transformed and reborn. They crave that little rebirth.

4. Water men can be either immature or mature. Maturity does not mean perfection, maturity means self awareness. Maturity means if they make mistake, they are aware enough to identify it, accept it and correct it. Maturity does not mean that they are flawless and make no fuck ups, maturity means they have experience, wisdom and depth, something more than their age to show that they have lived a life.

5. Water men want water women because it is only them who can understand their nuances, desires, fears, complexity and needs. Who else can understand their needs? Fire will boil them and air will blow over them. Water will mix with water and earth will give them the bed of the ocean. I am associating symbols with zodiac signs because it makes them easy to understand since we are aware of the nature of elements.

6. Please dont try to befriend them if you are both not compatible. They are looking for friends who will not hurt them emotionally, who will keep them grounded and stable, who will understand their chaotic nature. A friend who understand you is an asset, he is more valuable than 100 people with buckets of gold. They really put effort into emotional  bonding, they know the value of their time and that only those who are also willing and capable of bonding with them are welcome in their life. They know the effort and time it takes to create emotional bond, so they only do it with those who are worthy of it. This is why they are very selective in their social networking and prefer few chosen ones only. This is also the reason for stereotype of being possessive because they dont want you to be adulterated by someone else, they dont want someone else to influence you, they dont want someone else to create bond with you. You are a canvas and they are the artist. You are their painting and theirs only, okay? And this service is reciprocal, they are yours and yours only, okay? Promise? It is a mixture of innocence and insecurities but the right person will understand. In case of an immature water man, this possessiveness can be toxic and pathological, but in case of mature water man, it is authenticity and surrender. "You are my painting and mine only":

7. What is this emotional bonding that I speak of? It is your thoughts aligning with their, your ideas resembling them, your traits similar to them. It shows you are a reliable person, someone they can rely on in danger and weakness. Someone who will stand by them in dark times and not run away in cowardice. Someone who will give them as much as they take. It can a very passionate and mentally peaceful bonding. Passionate because emotional moon and peaceful because they are striving to give you security.

8. Why are they so loyal and faithful? Because sex is not really about pleasure, it is about confidence, power. We somehow think that somebody who has sex with a lot of people does it because they love orgasm and pleasures but it is not really about that. Only that person can love who knows how to love, otherwise it is just for confidence boosting and to feel powerful. Since water people are the only ones who truly know how to lose control and surrender, they are the only ones who can make love for the sake of love. Water people are the only ones who can set aside their insecurities and fears, and make love just for the ritual and pleasure of it. I don't know why someone who does not have a water placement will claim to know what it feels like to make love.

"Love is like God; both give themselves only to their bravest knights" - Carl Jung.

Note = A birthchart also has other inner planets and placements that can influence the overall personality and preference of the man. I am confident this post will resonate with most water placements but if something doesn't click please avoid accepting that.

Survival Of The Fittest

For those who are affected by Scorpio/8th house/12th house: scorpio rising/moon in scorpio/venus in scorpio/moon in 8th house/venus in 8th house/pluto in 1st house/pluto in 8th house/pluto in 12th house/12th lord in 8th house/7th lord in 8th house/8th lord in 7th house/inner planets in 8th house/Saturn in 8th house/Sun in 12th house

The phrase 'Survival Of the Fittest' was coined by Herbert Spencer after he was inspired by Charles Darwin's On the Origin of Species. Spencer drew parallels between his own economic theories and Darwin's biological theories and said "This survival of the fittest, which I have here sought to express in mechanical terms, is that which Mr. Darwin has called 'natural selection', or the preservation of favoured races in the struggle for life." We, in astro community, can draw a similar parallel to the astrological theories that indicate a difficult emotional, psychological, mental, physical, fated and spiritual life. Even Carl Jung associated collective unconscious to the genetic memory that exists in all of humanity universally.

Survival of the fittest means that organisms that are better adapted to their environment are best suited to survive and successfully reproduce. It also explains how evolution occurs in species by means of natural selection of those traits that are better adapted to a given set of environmental conditions. We read all this in school textbooks and forget it all when we walk into the real world.

Having difficult 8th house/12th house placements is like the Sisyphean task when he was condemned to roll a boulder up a hill, only to have it fall near the top, forcing him to start over and over again. This is what it feels like to be battling the unknown, unseen, intangible psychic forces of the 8th and 12th houses that emerge in the awareness from time to time endlessly. You are stuck in a situation that you cannot explain in words so you seek answers in symbolism, esoteric, dreams, psychology, magic and otherworldly pursuits because your problems are simply not visible to the naked eyes.

4. The paradox of life is that even though we are born with difficult life stories, the world does not have space for the weak, dependent, miserable. On one hand, this creates isolation, victim mentality, bitterness, "nobody understands me", "society is so insensitive to mental health issues". But on the other hand, we realize that we are just animals, some really smart animals that can think, write, civilize, earn money, reproduce, make laws, run the system, yet we are just animals in the hands of natural laws. The law of nature, therefore, is survival of the fittest, to become strong, adapt, improvise, improve, evolve, grow.

5. The point of this post is not laziness but exhaustion/victim mindset/bitterness/feeling left behind tendencies in native who had to spend a lot of times in healing, battling their psychological issues that appear invisible to the physical eyes and living with a sense of "what is wrong with me?"

6. To them, I just want to say that do not let the exhaustion tear you down. The environments of 8th and 12th houses are such emergency provoking, life threatening, dark, hidden, unknown, distant from physical life, invisible to naked eyes, emotionally draining and psychically charged. How you learn to accept your fate and live along with it is in your hands. I too had to come to terms with the constant ups and downs of my story, the sudden detours and catastrophe of my story, sometimes the sadistic undertones and stagnancy of my story, but in the end I realized that I was the saviour to my own fallen angel. Whether it is my past life karma, intergenerational karma or random allotment of fates, I would not live in bitterness and envy of those who have it easier, better and colourful. Learning to adapt to the environments of 8th and 12th houses is a real challenge, a very difficult one, not written in books but usually comes to knowedge intuitively and that is why it is so hard to understand and codify in language.

7. Finally, I do not have any advice or rulebook for 8th/12th housers, for each person has their own unique solution. I would just like to say that time is running out, you have already seen the theme of your life until now, be brave, pull yourself up and make peace with your traumatic memories. And maybe, find attract people who are also in a similar attitude as you. People who understand when you say "No I don't want to watch a movie right now, I want to journal some of my thoughts and emotions."

The Value of Loneliness

Sometimes it happens that you find yourself lonely in life. Amongst billions of people on this earth, you are alone in life. And you may go to internet and watch people, read their words, have a semblance of companionship but you are still alone in life. You wake up, go through life meeting people and exchanging words but in your memories they do not register as significant. Your heart is yearning for someone who understands you just how you understand yourself, you may search for that person in every face but nobody is that person who resembles your inner image. It is not just specific looks that you desire or specific material success but someone who is a complete package with all those particular personality traits that fit just right in your own puzzle. Sometimes we know what we want but most of the times it is just a vague description. To know what you want in another person, you have to first know yourself.

It especially happens during rock bottom, usually there is no rescue. Life leaves you alone for contemplation. You almost feel like you are back in the womb and are destined for rebirth. And this time, you will be someone else. Somehow you survived. But you have lost everything in the rock bottom, especially your memories. They were too heavy for your shoulders so you drop them one by one until you reach the surface and remember nothing anymore.

You are shaped by the people who surround you. Your parents, siblings, friends, relatives, the people you see in media and magazines, the people you see in streets and even the people you see in your imagination. Some of who you are is in your genes and some of it is learned as you live life. But who will shape you if you are lonely? Loneliness itself will shape you. Loneliness is not nothing, it has energy, identity, existence. It talks to you, if only you listen to it.

The value of loneliness is that unlike people it is empty, consistent, stable, silent, natural and original. Loneliness does not pretend or change shapes, loneliness does not hurt you with words or otherwise, loneliness does not judge you or pressurize you. Loneliness does not have an intention or agenda, it is not selfish nor self-centered. Loneliness does not take anything from you, it only accompanies.

But you run from it every chance you get. If not around people, you drown yourself in gadget and social media. You are so afraid of loneliness though you claim otherwise.