Sometimes, Alfred Isnt Around To Do The Grocery Shopping / Is Sick.theyre All Adults Though, They Can

sometimes, alfred isnt around to do the grocery shopping / is sick. theyre all adults though, they can buy their own food

it’s easier to go grocery shopping after patrol, when there arent as many people around in stores

that means they go buy groceries in costume because going home to switch clothes and then come back to shop is such a waste of effort when all you want to do is crash into your bed and sleep for hours

on one such occasion: the red hood and nightwing walked into a walmart, already arguing (”we’re not getting fucking 10 boxes of cereal, screw you–” “you won’t survive the winter.” “–you can have one.”)

they bought vegetables and fruits at the red hood’s insistence. also a strange amount of corn?? and cat and dog food.

they stopped at the milk section. “what percent of milk does A usually buy?” “uh. the normal percent?” “fucking shit.” they spent the next 15 minutes trying to deduce what kind of milk batman would like based on his personality. (”listen, i’m certain it’s whole milk.” “no, that asshole would absolutely buy organic gotham milk to support the local farmers or whatever.”)

“fuck.” “what?” “is robin vegan or vegetarian.”

neither of them remember so they end up arguing about vegan options while already holding two milk cartons (whole & nonfat; “listen, if they want something in the middle, they can just mix these in a glass, it’ll be fine.”) “almond milk sounds promising.” “what if he’s allergic to nuts?” “soy then.” “no, bad memories. coconut.” “the milk isn’t for you anyway, you asshole.”

after they decide on one almond, one coconut, they realise they have to choose if they want the milk to be sweetened or not.

cue another 15 minute argument deducing milk preferences based on personality

the coconut ends up being unsweetened (”it seems like it’d already be sweet, right?”), while the almond would be sweetened.

a long pause. “is anyone lactose intolerant?” “i hate you.”

as theyre looking at the lactose free options for milk, around 10 minutes in, the red hood exclaims, “fuck, the vegan options already are lactose free!” nightwing startles, but seems too tired to even reprimand him.

its 6 am

theyve been here for 2 hours

they buy 4 milk containers, a shitload of fruits and veggies, animal food and 10 boxes of cereal.

the red hood is not amused

(damian really starts liking almond milk and refuses to drink any other version.)

Fic Planning for an overthinker. Also the dcu is a complex web of an entire planet contributing ideas forever because.

Alright so, Let's lay out what I want to accomplish here. Maybe bulleting out major prologue moments will help.

Turns out this is exactly what I needed to do. Hope y'all enjoy what is basically a prologue.

The Best Kept Secrets Are Ones No One Knows Exist

TBKSAONOKE: what a nightmare acronym,

BKS: alternate acronym option

Amity Park is a part of ______ Earth of the DCU. Activation of the Portal disconnected Everything within roughly a reasonable, but large number of miles out from the Portal itself. Both Elmerton and Amity were effected.

Major attacks that would have been noticed even with the Time delay were during major crisis events.

Danny experienced several weeks of paranoia the JLA was finally going to come to Amity Park after Technus took over the satellite, until Tucker helped him digitally backtrack its path and found it had been on the other side of the globe at the time.

Danny first meets Connor during Reality Trip. Between Florida and Gothapalooza Danny gets separated from Tucker and Sam. Danielle/Elle dragged him along to help.

"That's your dad!? He's like ten!" "I'm almost fifteen thanks and that's older than you!"

Connor thinks Danny and his friends are absolutely insane, but they also started parenting in his direction?

Sam is the one who talks to Connor about his flirting with older women (and women in general) and Connor learns he's actually uncomfortable with the way people talk about him sometimes.

"That's what that is?!" "Connor. Where does this Rex live? I just want to talk." "Danny No."

Elle is too excited about finding Connor and bonding over being clones, and is not subtle about it. Kon being so casual about it helps Elle come to terms with it much quicker herself, and it's not the coolest fucking thing.

"Danny?" "Y-yes Tucker?" "When were you planning on telling us Vlad was doing creepy cloning shit?!" "Uhhh..."

There's a lot of bonding by the time Reality Trip is over, there are only 5 people who remember it actually happened now. Connor now has a Dad, an Aunt, and an Uncle to go with the small ghost kid who adopted him as an Older Brother.

"Yeah, we're siblings by adoption now" *sniff* "They grow up so fast." "Danny stop being a dumbass" "Sam be nice to me, I'm developing empty nest syndrome as we speak."

Destabilized takes place a little differently as well. Connor is also falling apart, but not as badly as Elle.

Red Huntress Osiris Valerie is considered Mom by both clone children after this. Much to Phantom and Val's sputtered protests.

They come to an agreement on having a Permanent Truce and sharing custody. Val jokes about Child Support.

"Nu uh, These two have a Job." "They don't Pay Heroes, Phantom. I checked." "Uh, Connor has a manager, he and by extension Elle, absolutely get paid. Sam made sure of it." "None of us are old enough to sign a legal contract like that Phantom!" "Technically I'm considered over a thousand-year-old dead guy so.... also Sam is terrifying." "Point." "You are putting money in that account we made you both, right?" "Yes dad."

Valerie helps out when Undergrowth and Vortex take place back to back. Danny does NOT have to hang around Vlad because he bites a bullet and tells Valerie his secret, and they hang out instead with vastly improves his mood over all.

Val is also the one to point out maybe he's moodier lately because of the weather, like how he got all icy before Undergrowth.

Danny is still not happy with the implication his core is Malleable and adjusts to nearby threats, so he's better equipped to fight. Frostbite confirms Danny's core is what they consider 'Primordial'

This is not better

Unlike a regular normal average Plasma Core, Or a cool regular Specialized Core (Like Ice) this means it could take between five minutes from Now or twenty billion years to solidify into a final state.

"Oh ancients." "Ah, yes. One day you will join their ranks, I'm sure." "I refuse to unpack that. I am burning the suitcase. Thanks Frostbite!" "You're welcome, Great One! Do not forget to come back for another check up in six months time!"

This is when Danny learns about being Ghost Prince.

He is not excited. There IS good news!

He doesn't have to deal with that bullshit, bc Pariah is still technically "Alive" and so still King. So unless Danny goes through and Ends him or Pariah decides to Fade naturally into the next cycle of yadda yadda, he'll just be Heir to the Crown, Prince of the Realms.

Bad News, Danny still has to learn shit.

This is not Bad News, he fucking loves it. Danny tells his parents he's half ghost and a fucking Prince and wants to graduate early and do online classes, so he can also work on his duties to the Realms at the same time.

They work it out. Danny actually tests out enough when doing College Shit he doesn't have to take most basic courses and just has these credits.

Danny is confused how he's the most surprised person in the room about this. He did not expect it to go this well.

Surprise, Danny, you're a fucking genius from a family of genius'.

Vlad has been weirdly quiet.

There are a LOT of things Danny is able to do to help the Realms heal without being King. This is great! Sure he can't do official things like Declare War, or say, Deal with the Ancients Damned G.I.W but he CAN convince most of the rowdier inhabitants to stay in the Realms or within Amity Park.

This is Great. He's going to get a Good Grade in being Ghost Prince. Which is something you can achieve and perfectly normal to want.

The Box Ghost steals Pandora's Box.

Pros: Danny now has a giant six-armed Ancient, who's decided he's adorable and is going to learn combat and military tactics.

He now has a Ghost Mom.

Pandora and Maddie gang up on him if he skips meals or sleeping for any reason. They are a terrifying combination.

Jack, Technus, and Skulker are not allowed to be left unsupervised. (Tucker and Sam do not count as Supervision because Sam will test the contraption and Tucker will yell "Do a flip." right before disaster.)

Vlad is not found in Amity or Wisconsin.

Danny has his 16th Birthday/2nd Deathday.

The two almost cancel each other out, meaning Danny is stuck with severe Chest Pain for most of the day, but he doesn't relive the accident, and he counts that as a win.

It's still a gr8 day. The cake doesn't even come to life. (or the rest of the food, thank you Lunch Lady)

Danny wakes up sore the next day and finds his parents dead in the kitchen.

Vlad is still missing.

The investigation finds it was a normal murder. Someone shot both Jack and Maddie Fenton six hours before Danny woke that morning.

Their names are not found recorded in the Archives.

Danny and Jazz are slightly comforted that they didn't seem to have suffered, at least.

Jazz finds a journal in their mother's things. Their Original Birth Certificates are found in it and a photo of their parents, and an oddly familiar person that isn't Vlad, stapled to genetic test results.

Danny learns he's only half siblings with Jazz.

Wilder, the journal, lists the only possible person who could be Danny's biological match is the other man in the picture.

Vlad is still out there somewhere.

Tucker manages to drag Danny out of his Funk by breaking the tense quiet with; "Damn dude, you have, like, another half sibling and like six others adopted. We're lucky you haven't found more clones." "Ancients, is Empty Nest genetic?" "Excuse me! Elle found Connor and brought him home."

Danny fails to avoid thinking about the four others that he couldn't save before they melted into puddles.

He does manage to avoid thinking about just how many others before that there may have been.

An attempt is made on Danny's life.

Four Times.

The fifth nicks his core.

Danny doesn't make it home before he's attacked again.

Vlad finally shows his face.

Stalemate.

Vlad is his usual condescending self. Something Is Wrong. He's not gloating or going into a monologue.

Danny retreats and makes it in time for Jazz to activate the halfa proofed shield, but not before he feels something latch onto his back, between his shoulder blades.

The compact Plasmius Maximus activates. Danny is forced human.

Oh, I could throw you in the lake, or feed you poison birthday cake. I won’t deny I’m gonna miss you when you’re gone. Oh, I could bury you alive but you might crawl out with a knife and kill me when I’m sleeping. That’s why…

Like and Survive! (DC x DP)

Everyone knows who Phantom is. He was one of the very first heroes though he inexplicably chose to dedicate his life (metaphorically) to micromanaging the hell out of some random town no one has ever heard of. He's a specialist hero, only really useful for ghost stuff. He comes every time someone contacts him for help but it's only happened a few times in all of his years of operation.

Then, kid heroes become a thing. Robin, once perpetually hidden beneath the shadow of the bat emerges into the metropolis sun just in time to make the front page.

When Batman's child-raising skills are called into question, Kid Flash is brought out at a press release by Flash to show that these exceptional children are around. They just aren't common knowledge for their own health (aside from the villains - being a child star wrecks your brain).

A few villains do come forward and say "no, the sidekicks will go out on their own if their hero doesn't let them. And they have all the powers and none of the restraint. Please don't separate them."

(Batman and Robin are both very flattered that all their rogues think they have powers. Robin is ✨glowing✨ with pride.)

Cyborg calls Robin at 3am. He asks if he's seen the new 'BooTube' page.

Phantom has set up his own website. It's a dark and moody ripoff of YouTube with 1 channel. His.

Introduction Video: Transcript Hi guys, I can't lie to you, I was as up-in-arms as anyone when I saw what people are now calling "The Robin Reveal". But then I remembered that I started my hero work when I was mentally and physically fourteen years old...

Danny doesn't mention he was also chronologically 14 at the time. Secret identities and all.

...and I had no mentor, no training and no backup. It was just me and two humans, neither of whom even had powers at that time. I understand the call, in a way that none of the non-hero people criticising you could ever hope to comprehend. I'm glad to see most of you fellow child-heroes have an experienced adult watching your back. But if you don't. If there's even one of you out there who need a mentor, consider Amity Park open for business, and consider adding my number to your speedial. I'm not like those people in interviews saying "Oh, someone needs to help the children!" I am helping you, I am helping you whenever you need with whatever you want.

The ghost swallows and seemingly forces down his brimming sincerity.

And for those of you who do already have backup? Consider checking back here. I'm going over my old reports from my first few years on the streets to see what I most needed to hear, and what I wished I knew sooner. Hopefully no one else will have to learn what I know the hard way.

You know how to fight, this channel won't be for that. This is about coping with secret identities, and the messed up situations that can only happen to a vigilante or hero.

Anyways, the first video is already ready to be edited so in a few days I'll be back here to discuss what you do when you've been cloned. How to deal with that emotionally and physically. My clone isn't very well known outside of my town but I think she'll add a great perspective!

Within weeks, without his knowledge, Danny is somehow remote-mentoring heroes of all ages.

Short DPXDC Prompts #446

Danny is an airplane pilot. He wanted to be an astronaut but he realized that this was the closest to his life’s dream that he was going to get. Lucky for him: he becomes the pilot for the Wayne’s personal aircrafts.

tim seems like the type of guy who is like sleep is for the weak and then sleeps for a week